You are Bob the Drip, intrepid space explorer. You crashed onto an alien planet, armed with only your ZAP GUN and SPACE SUIT. You shot your SPACE VESSEL's FLUORESCENT LIGHT and it began leaking NOXIOUS MERCURY. Using your SPACE SUIT as a weapon, you burned a hole in the canopy of your SPACE VESSEL and set off to explore with your ZAP GUN. You began trekking toward a distant PRIMITIVE VILLAGE but were distracted by some SAVAGE FOLIAGE that turned out to be a GREEN-EYED MONSTER. You shot it in the eye, then felt bad and gave it an affectionate nuzzle. It ate you, and you ran around in its innards until falling into its digestive root system to be dissolved by acid. Fortunately, the monster burned down due to the fire caused by you shooting it in the eye.
You leveled up, gathered the monster's remains, and buried/planted them, creating a SAVAGE SAPLING. You set off to see if the neighboring wildlife was as vicious only to discover a PERFECTLY NORMAL TREE. You vigorously cuddled the tree, enraging some small tree-dwelling natives in its branches. You hurried back to the sapling to get your ZAP GUN but noticed that the sapling had grown a green eye. You decided to cuddle the sapling, causing it to sprout a FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM. You then chased away the natives. You proceeded to uproot the sapling and name it Nigel, and you carried it back to your crashed SPACE VESSEL so you could put it in your SPACE SUIT for safekeeping. You accidentally blinded yourself with the NOXIOUS MERCURY from the fluorescent light, and accidentally retracted the landing gear of your crashed ship with your LEVERKINESIS ability. The ship began creaking to fall on you; though blind, you noticed Nigel shuffling away in search of light and instinctively rolled after him, but the ship crushed you anyway. You managed to squirm out and weep for poor innocent Nigel, then you and Nigel both leveled up.
You tried out your new INTIMIDATION skill against the now-detached FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM. Nigel used his TURGOR PRESSURE Action Trait to lift the SPACE VESSEL, and the blossom fled in fear. You chased after it, only to encounter an ENRAGE NATIVE, who stomped on you. Nigel tossed the SPACE VESSEL into the ENRAGED NATIVE, freeing you. You equipped your SPACE SUIT as a deadly weapon and the FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM again fled in fear. You opened fire on the BLOSSOM with your SPACE SUIT's ROCKET SHOES and flew away. When you deactivated your shoes, you fell into a fruit stand, then absconded with some fruit into an alleyway. There you tried to befriend a HIDEOUS SPACE BUG but accidentally crushed it, and acquired some ASSORTED FILTH, including a doll, a withered FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM, and a MYSTERIOUS MISSIVE. You heard growling behind you and discovered a BEAST-OF-BURDEN, which you proceeded to taunt and throw things at until it was enraged and attacked. You flew away on your rocket shoes.
Meanwhile, Nigel had gone feral since leaving the FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOM's empathy radius, and he changed his name to Wesley. He grew a shrieking DREAD BLOSSOM and a CAPTIVATING LUREBLOSSOM, then scooped up the remaining NOXIOUS MERCURY, tasted it, spread it on his BLOSSOMs, and chucked it at the natives. He hit a native demagogue in a tinfoil hat, and another native opened fire on Wesley with some chemical explosives. Wesley used his remaining energy reserves to summon a terrifying THORNBERRY, which proceeded to dance and sing, and eventually attach itself to the native demagogue.
While this was happening, you were flying, lost, over the native settlement, and were surprised to find yourself pursued by natives in a flying machine, armed with a dart gun. You (apparently) evaded their fire and fled toward a building, smashing through a window and a plaster mannequin in a furniture showroom. You discovered a red dart in your foot and a hideous creature on your other foot, although in retrospect, you might have been hallucinating due to the drugs/space madness. You drifted into unconsciousness to the sound of HIDEOUS SPACE BUGS plotting and scheming.
Meanwhile, the THORNBERRY was still on the tin-foil hat of the demagogue, listening as he and the native Alien Opposition League discussed plans to capture Bob's broken ZAP GUN. He took a nap and when he awoke the A.O.L. had arrived at their destination. The Thornberry lept toward a different member of the League and landed on his grapnel gun, which triggered, throwing the Thornberry onto a rooftop. On the rooftop, Nigel's Thornberry threw the hook thinger of the gun over the edge of the building, added a SMALL PIECE OF RUBBLE to its party, swung gleefully from a TV antenna, chased away a small brown bug, broke a green button on an AIR CONDITIONER (giving the button cover the the Rubble as a hat), and finally made contact with the ANIMALS inside via intercom. When he heard a noise, the Thornberry lept onto a HELIPAD which turned out to be an elevator that prompty descended. Confronted by armed ANIMALS when the elevator came to a stop, Nigel's Thornberry played dead. He was subsequently locked in a clear BERRY-PROOF CONTAINER.
You (Bob) awoke to find yourself strapped to a metal surface under the malevolent eyes of a WITCH DOCTOR and his CANNIBAL APPRENTICE. You tried (and failed) to achieve meaningful communication with them, tried to struggle out of the restraints, and you were then injected with a mystery substance by the APPRENTICE. You began to return to SPACE MADNESS, but leveled up in time to overcome the mystery substance's effects, gaining the new skills TRANSMOGRIFY and INTERPRETIVE DANCE. You INTIMIDATED the APPRENTICE so that s/he fled the room, then TRANSMOGRIFIED into a snail to escape your bonds. You managed to knock out the WITCH DOCTOR with his own RED DART, then began searching the room, noticing PICTOGRAPHS of your INTERIOR on the walls that depicted some sort of rectangular thing in your brain. You also retrieved a WHOLESOME LUNCH from an upright chest, as well as a GAS TANK. You then TRANSMOGRIFIED to disguise yourself as the WITCH DOCTOR, stuffing his unconscious form into the chest, as the APPRENTICE looked on through the door to the room. You found the door out of the room to be DASTARDLY SEALED.
Nigel's Thornberry, meanwhile, tried singing and running around in the BERRY-PROOF CONTAINER in an attempt to break it, but failed to do so. The Thornberry examined the surrounding room and saw three native animals, one wearing the garb of an authority and wielding a gun and walkie-talkie, the other two wearing welding masks and working on some sort of fancy ZAP GUN. The Thornberry decided to hide on the lid of the CONTAINER so as to trick the animals into opening it.
You (Bob) tried breaking open the GAS TANK with the SCALPEL, but failed. Then you succeeded at opening the door by using your LEVERKINESIS Latent Ability on the lock. You ran out the door and struck a dramatic pose, as the CANNIBAL APPRENTICE and two NATIVE WARRIORs looked on. You proceeded to hurl the GAS TANK at the nearest SAVAGE, who toppled backwards and inadvertently shot the CANNIBAL APPRENTICE with a red dart. You then tried to use LEVERKINESIS on the CANNIBAL APPRENTICE's weapon, but succeeded only in opening a door behind the APPRENTICE. The final SAVAGE yelled at you incomprehensibly.
Nigel's Thornberry, meanwhile, continued clinging to the lid of the CONTAINER, and decided to try out its RIPEN maneuver, filling the CONTAINER with ETHYLENE.
After negotiations with the incomprehensible SAVAGE failed, you tackled it, knocking it out. You then investigated the door that opened earlier and discovered a PRIMITIVE ARMORY, from which you retrieved some equipment to replace the CLEARLY DEFECTIVE SCALPEL. You then shoved all three of the SAVAGES (who appeared either unconscious, dead, or MADDENED) into the ARMORY, and investigated the next room.
There you discovered two more SAVAGES (one with your ZAP GUN!) and a CONTAINER holding a BOTANICAL SPECIMEN. You threw the CONTAINER at the SAVAGE with your gun, and when the SAVAGE fired, the ZAP RAY hit the CONTAINER and exploded, knocking out the SAVAGE and sending shards of glass throughout the room (you were protected thanks to your primitive amor). You retrieved your ZAP GUN and fired at the second SAVAGE, but the shot ricocheted off the SAVAGE's TRIBAL MASK and hit some sort of DRIED UP AQUEDUCT in the ceiling, out of which fell a SMALL PIECE OF RUBBLE which hit the SAVAGE on the head, defeating it.
You then decided to attack the BOTANICAL SPECIMEN from the CONTAINER with a POROUS WARCUBE you'd retrieved from the primitive armory. The SPECIMEN attacked the CUBE, and you performed a XENOBOTANY skill check to determine that it was in fact a Thornberry from your good friend Nigel. This realization caused you to LIQUIFY, after which you were absorbed by the POROUS WAR CUBE, leaving SOMETHNG CURIOUS on the floor. Trapped in the CUBE, you tried growing FEET through the CUBE's pores. You then grew a third FOOT, and tried to go all out and become an OCTOPUS. Your attempt failed, but caused you to break out of the CUBE and SOLIDIFY.