Space Opera - The Drip Chronicles

[Warden Notes]

> Go up, decrease speed, maintain direction

[Not A Ninja]

Sorry I had to do this suggestion...

>DO A BARREL ROLL!!

[Michaelos]

>Engage Afterburner / Booster.
>Rockets to MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!

[Arby]

> Reverse direction and grab onto the bottom of the chopper, causing it to flip and crash.

[thriggle]

> Bob: EVASIVE MANOEUVURES!

>Slightly increase altitude, slightly lower speed.

> Go up, decrease speed, maintain direction

Sorry I had to do this suggestion...

>DO A BARREL ROLL!!

You clumsily attempt a number of complicated maneuvers, most of which, if executed properly, would have sent you into the BARBARIC CHOPPING BLADES of the SAVAGE FLYING MACHINE. Fortunately or otherwise, your ROCKETEERING skill is too low for you to successfully kill yourself in this manner.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

At least you manage to shake off some FILTH and avoid being shot.

> Drop down, increase speed, reverse direction!

> Reverse direction and grab onto the bottom of the chopper, causing it to flip and
crash.

You decide to try something a little different and attempt to go underneath the SAVAGE FLYING MACHINE, the better to avoid its BLADES.

Ouch.

>Engage Afterburner / Booster.
>Rockets to MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!

Once again, subtlety has failed you. You know what you have to do.

(Click "Show" to continue.)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You THRUST AWAY from the SAVAGE FLYING MACHINE, rocketing toward a PRIMITIVE BUILDING.

You have about a nanosecond to decide whether to crash through the LEFT WINDOW, the RIGHT WINDOW, or into the crude CONCRETE WALL of the building itself.

[Arby]

> Right window looks splendid. You can even use your high velocity as an excuse for INTIMATE CONTACT.

[RedMage]

oh god. so many things could happen! but i guess a new female character is in order.

> right window

[Warden Notes]

> Right window looks splendid. You can even use your high velocity as an excuse for INTIMATE CONTACT.

Seconded

[Gnauga]

>Concrete.

[thriggle]

> Right window looks splendid. You can even use your high velocity as an excuse for INTIMATE CONTACT.

As all rocket men know, it's lonely out in space. You don't want to spend all your time burning out your fuse up here alone, and are thus instinctively attracted to the figure in the RIGHT WINDOW.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Your timeless flight smashes you through through GLASS and SOMETHING ELSE.

>Concrete.

You hit the CONCRETE WALL on the other side, bringing an end to your flight.

[MultiFunctional]

> Go and apologise to what you hope is some kind of mannequin.

[RedMage]

Bob: Plop into the floor with a thud.

NT: Next.

[Gnauga]

>Wonder what the red thing on the front of your left foot is.

[Dr Evil42]

Apologize to he newly decapitated thing.

[thriggle]

Bob: Plop into the floor with a thud.

You land with a thud, looking nothing at all like a snail.

In the dim light you can see that the lovely INDIGENOUS BEAUTY was but some sort of plaster idol.

>Wonder what the red thing on the front of your left foot is.

You look at your right foot.
(Click "Show" to continue.)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You see absolutely nothing out of the ordinar-

OH MY DEAR SWEET SPACE GODS WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS IS THAT?!


Oh, and hey, look...

You also see some sort of STRANGE RED DART planted in your left foot. It must have been fired from the BLOWGUN that was being carried by one of the BLOODTHIRSTY SAVAGES in the FLYING MACHINE.

You have a sneaking suspicion that you've acquired the DRUGGED Action Trait.

[Mk_97]

Make sure it's not a tranquilizer dart by attempting to move around.

[Cactuseater]

Groovy. Lay against concrete wall and discuss mixed feelings for your lost Nigel with weird bug and plastic head. Let drugged action trait take over and go with the flow.

[Superfrequency]

>Sacrifice creepy bug to idol to assure a bountiful harvest

[DimJim]

Bob: That dart won't slow you! You need to save Nigel! Your high DETERMINATION negates the effect!

You expect him to have renamed himself to something cool like Joe or Wesley.
Also hope those savages haven't found him yet. If he's no longer a friend, you're going to have to win back his trust.

[thriggle]

I'm still working on the update. But in the interim, please enjoy this montage of girly heart gifs.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Can you feel the love?

[Superfrequency]

Man that berry is so cute

[Arby]

> Remove dart, attempt to stick creepy monster with it.

[Archduke_Ferdinand]

>Wax poetic at the HORRIFYING CREATURE, as your space suit protects you from it. Explain that you just really need someone to talk to.

[thriggle]

Make sure it's not a tranquilizer dart by attempting to move around.

Hoping that the dart is but a very weak projectile weapon, or perhaps a colorful decoration, you jump to your feet (NOT PICTURED) and look around the room.

It appears to be a PRIMITIVE FURNITURE SHOWROOM, and judging by the tasteful rug near your feet, these HOWLING SAVAGES might be somewhat more advanced than you'd been given to believe.

Bob: That dart won't slow you! You need to save Nigel! Your high DETERMINATION negates the effect!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You start to feel a little woozy, undoubtedly due to the DRUGGED Action Trait.

Whoa. ...Or maybe you have a touch of SPACE MADNESS?

>Wax poetic at the HORRIFYING CREATURE, as your space suit protects you from it. Explain that you just really need someone to talk to.

>Sacrifice creepy bug to idol to assure a bountiful harvest

SPAAAACE MAAADNESSS!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You call out to the HORRIFYING CREEPY SPACE BUG CREATURE in a drug-fevered dream, begging it to grant your crops a boon and telling it about your feelings of inadequacy in the realm of gardening. ...No response.

But...
In a moment of painful clarity, you see figures uncomfortably close to your face, and hear low, raspy voices, voices the sound of wire brushes scratching on ceramic, or of sandpapery mandibles sliding and clacking...

The whispering voices rasp unpleasantly against the neurons of your deluded mind as it drifts into unconsciousness.

"...How much does it know?"
"It killed Agent Bugsby at the Rendezvous Point. Bugsby's corpse is still in its pocket."
"And the message?"
"Intercepted. Also in its pocket. It must be an agent of the Unity. Do we abandon the operation?"

"...No. We've come too far."
"...Killing it will only lead the natives to us."
"It is better alive. The natives hunt it."
"...But, just to be sure..."
"...Yes..."

show spoiler

hide spoiler

NT: Next.

You are now Nigel's Thornberry.

You are nearly asleep as you sit on the boring TINFOIL HELMET of the boring NATIVE DEMAGOGUE in the boring UGLY ROOM of the boring ALIEN OPPOSITION LEAGUE. They have been discussing boring strategy since leaving the crash site, and you have been waiting in your FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE for something to happen that might somehow involve your master WESLEY.

Fortunately or otherwise, the NATIVE ANIMALS don't seem to notice you. They appear to be discussing plans to steal some sort of ZAP GUN from the government. Sounds boring, but they're leaving in a few minutes.

[Languidiir]

>NT: Stab the native you're sitting on in the gigantic eye.