The Attackening: Revengeance (Completed)

[FKOD]

Cyz: Ask if they have any novelty mugs.

Janis reminds you that it has been illegal to buy and sell novelty mugs since 1943, because of the danger they represent.

[PawntoD4]

>Cyz: Ask her what the thingy is.

[Gustave]

Cyz: Ask if they have any kittens or soiled pants in stock then.

[MrGuy]

Cyz: Ask TIM if you need anything else.

[Not The Author]

> NTA: Bump. WHY do I hafta do it for THIS one? T-T

Janis reminds you that it has been illegal to buy and sell novelty mugs since 1943, because of the danger they represent.

Whew! You're in the clear then, since you didn't actually pay for yours...

[GreyGabe]

Thanks for the bump! Update coming in a little bit here!

[FKOD]

Cyz: Ask if they have any kittens or soiled pants in stock then.

Janis informs you that the store has never and will never carry either of those things. She isn't sure how those items could be used in conjunction with one another, and she's positive she doesn't want to know.

>Cyz: Ask her what the thingy is.

You inquire as to the origins of the THINGY. She informs you that it is a can of THINGY BRAND LUCK SUPPLEMENT BEVERAGE. It is made of ground shamrocks and leprechaun tears.

Cyz: Ask TIM if you need anything else.

He doesn't think so. It looks like you've pretty much got it covered. He suggests that you proceed to checkout to minimize exposure to Mal-Mart's demonization effect.

[Gustave]

Cyz: Check to make sure Tim got a box of your favorite cereal.

Party: Proceed to checkout!

[A Madman]

>...This is on Tim's tab, right?

[MrGuy]

Immediately chug LUCK SUPPLEMENT, then head to CHECKOUT. Pray that no BOSS FIGHT will commence.

[FKOD]

Immediately chug LUCK SUPPLEMENT, then head to CHECKOUT. Pray that no BOSS FIGHT will commence.

You can't drink something directly out of the can! That would be suicide!

Cyz: Check to make sure Tim got a box of your favorite cereal.

Party: Proceed to checkout!

He did indeed get your favorite cereal. What is it with you and ham, anyway?
(Ham is comedy gold...)



You proceed to the checkout counter with bated breath.

>...This is on Tim's tab, right?

You're thinking... no.
You go ahead and check your WALLET for efficiency's sake.



You WALLET currently contains 1 CREDIT CARD and 0 SOLS.

[Gustave]

Cyz: Charge it! Also ask that checkout demon if you can play that wii.

[Gnauga]

>AGRESS

[GreyGabe]

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Ask that checkout demon if you can play that wii.

You play Wii with the checkout demon. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the nun-chuck attachment. Oh well, you don't need it for tennis anyway. On a side note, it's pretty amazing what these modern cash registers can do.

Haha. The next real update will probably come tomorrow. Keep the suggestions coming, though!

[ragmaan]

>Ask how much the check out guy has transformed. if he lies, set him straight.

[A Madman]

>Drink Luck Supplement out of Chthulu mug. (Too lazy to spell Chthhthuluthu right. I can't even pronounce it right.)

[MrGuy]

>Drink Luck Supplement out of Cthulhu mug. (Too lazy to spell Chthhthuluthu right. I can't even pronounce it right.)

You only had one misplaced "h." And no one can pronounce it right because it's beyond mortal understanding, though I'm partial to "Kih-TOOL-hoo."

But actually yeah, do that.

[FKOD]

>AGRESS

Tempting as that is, the checkout demon hasn't really done anything yet. He's just a working stiff. A working stiff who happens to have horns and scaly skin.

>Drink Luck Supplement out of Chthulu mug. (Too lazy to spell Chthhthuluthu right. I can't even pronounce it right.)

You pour THE THINGY'S contents into the mug, and put the can back in your inventory. As you guzzle the unusual concoction from your CTHULHU NOVELTY MUG, you feel something... change. You grip the sides of your head as eldritch knowledge infuses your puny mortal mind. These are the things that men were not meant to know. Dark, ancient words of mystical power make themselves known to you. Your WISDOMOSITY increases by 10. You gain a new SUMMONATION. CTHULHU: LEVEL 1.
The CTHULHU NOVELTY MUG, now drained of its powers, dulls in color. You can still drink out of it, but to no effect.
You also gain 5 Luck points from the LUCK SUPPLEMENT.

>Ask how much the check out guy has transformed. if he lies, set him straight.

He has no idea what you are talking about. He is not, and will never be, any kind of demon

Cyz: Charge it!

You hand the SPENDIUM EXPRESS CREDIT CARD over to the checkout demon.


"Wait... this isn't a real credit card!"
Oh, yeah... that's just one of those fake ones that come in the mail with credit card offers. You stuck it in your wallet so you could pretend that you actually had money and a job. In hindsight, this is probably a very important piece of information that you should have remembered. Tim, ever the cheapskate, didn't bring his wallet along. Janis informs you that she doesn't have any cash on her. Uh oh, the manager is headed this way! So... what now?

[A Madman]

>Challenge manager to a battle of the wits for the food. You win, free meal. Ask him what he wants if he wins. It won't matter.
With your new found Eldridge knowledge, victory is assured. Nay, prophesied.

[MrGuy]

Challenge HEAD ASSISTANT MANAGER MOLOCH to regular old BOSS BATTLE.

Cthulhu should still help you win though.

[FKOD]

>Challenge manager to a battle of the wits for the food. You win, free meal. Ask him what he wants if he wins. It won't matter.
With your new found Eldridge knowledge, victory is assured. Nay, prophesied.

"Fine." The manager smirks. "If I win, I get to eat your delicious hearts."
Tim and Janis hope you know what you are doing.
The manager challenges you to a logic puzzling and riddling contest. If he stumps you, he wins. If he is stumped, you win. He goes first.
"A car is wrecked on the side of the road. You find a man dead in his car, a bullet being the cause of his demise. However, the doors are all locked, the windows unbroken. Judging from the place of the wound, and the positioning of the cadaver, the bullet entered his head from the driver's side. Besides, the damage from the crash is such that any passengers who would have survived would have been stuck, unable to escape. How was he killed?"
Crap.

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Challenge HEAD ASSISTANT MANAGER MOLOCH to regular old BOSS BATTLE.

Cthulhu should still help you win though.

You will, if it turns out you can't win this...

[Gustave]

The man's car was forced off the road by his murderous spouse who used her copy of the car remote to unlock the door. She opened the door, shot him in the head, locked the door and closed it. She then changed her name and fled to Mexico until the heat died down.

[Gnauga]

He was shot before he was put in the car. He was put in the car and a brick was placed on the gas pedal.

[ragmaan]

you forgot to set him straight!
set him straight now with a riddle of your own!

Quickly halt him and say that you have to get a turn also, and say"

"What makes noises, hangs on the wall, and is purple?"

He'll never guess it!

[A Madman]

>Call upon the great one himself for help with this.