The Attackening: Revengeance (Completed)

[KingTwelveSixteen]

>Cyz: Use the shenanigan aspect summon, now that he is a god, it is even MORE powerful!

[Flyingphish]

Azathoth: Destroy everything, forcing humanity to start again and struggle for survival in a world of horrors.

I have actually been contemplating reviving that. Just haven't gotten around to it yet. Soon, though...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

[andanotherone]

TIm: punch azathoth really really hard in the face.

[eerr]

Cyz: feed underbelly with (cthulu) novelty mug.

[Not The Author]

> Cyz: Believe S. Rex's instructions to be literal. Spontaneously acquire X-ray vision, search within yourself.

[Bumber]

> Cyz: Believe S. Rex's instructions to be literal. Spontaneously acquire X-ray vision, search within yourself.

Discover that you have a super powerful funny bone.

[snoomanwaff]

> Cyz: Believe S. Rex's instructions to be literal. Spontaneously acquire X-ray vision, search within yourself.

Discover that you have a super powerful funny bone.

2nd'd

[xelada]

Cyz: Kick CR (cumbersome revenger) in the nuts.

[andanotherone]

Cyz: Kick CR (cumbersome revenger) in the nuts.

Crystal raver: come outta nowhere and kick both of them in the nuts.

[HarMegidon]

Cyz: Kick CR (cumbersome revenger) in the nuts.

Crystal raver: come outta nowhere and kick both of them in the nuts.

Andanotherone: Come out of nowhere and kick the three of them in the nuts. Then kick everyone in the universe in the nuts. If they are woman, well, they have nuts now.

[bloodmoon]

>Proceed to look adorable with a cute kitty face; stupid humans bears turrets kitten powered robots weird evil tentacle deitys always fall for that shit.

Am i doing it right?

[FKOD]

Cyz: feed underbelly with (cthulu) novelty mug.

You don't actually have that anymore.

Cyz: realize that when Shenanigan said to look inside yourself, he meant that he put the weapon you need INSIDE YOU, as part of a very cruel prank. Take some laxatives and ask Az to wait a few minutes.

Todd: convince those four diminutive lovecraftian horrors you're fighting that they should stop all this senseless violence and, instead, form a senseless barbershop quartet named "Little Barbershop of Horrors".

Todd: "Okay boys, and a one, two, three, four!"
Little Barbershop of Horrors:
"Mister Lovecraft, bring us a dream! (bum bum bum)
Make it the scariest, that you've ever seen (bum bum bum)
Fill it with terror and unseen horrors!
Held back only by ancient doors!
Lovecraft, don't let us down! (bum bum bum)
Make abominations in a New England town! (bum bum bum)
Please turn on your eldritch beam!
Mr. Lovecraft, bring us a dream!"





Okay what in the name of [INSERT DEITY HERE] was that?

>Proceed to look adorable with a cute kitty face; stupid humans bears turrets kitten powered robots weird evil tentacle deitys always fall for that shit.

Yes. This is it. The cutest face. Nothing could possibly...



Oh. Wait. It doesn't have any eyes. It is unaffected.

>Cyz: Use the shenanigan aspect summon, now that he is a god, it is even MORE powerful!

Urgh! Hyaaah! Hrrmph!
Nothin'. Apparently you aren't allowed to use that right now. He did say he was helping Tim and Janis, too.

>Cyz: Become CYZTHULU.

Oh, hells to the this instead.

Definitely

Skills:
EldritchTech: Horrific Maw
EldritchTech: Scream of Terror
EldritchTech: Gaze of Madness
EldritchTech: Devour
EldritchTech: Summon Shoggoth
*Note: EldritchTechs are completely ineffectual against other Eldritch Horrors.

Frick-on-a-stick!

Azathoth attempts to use Horrific Maw!
However, since you are an Eldritch Horror right now, it does nothing.

Cyz: Kick CR (cumbersome revenger) in the nuts.

Crystal raver: come outta nowhere and kick both of them in the nuts.

Andanotherone: Come out of nowhere and kick the three of them in the nuts. Then kick everyone in the universe in the nuts. If they are woman, well, they have nuts now.

None of that makes any sense, especially considering Azathoth doesn't seem to have any. Also Andy got sucked back into his own universe when the Toddventory singularity overloaded.

> Cyz: Believe S. Rex's instructions to be literal. Spontaneously acquire X-ray vision, search within yourself.

Discover that you have a super powerful funny bone.

2nd'd

You attempt to summon up X-ray vision. Unfortunately, you accidentally use Microwave vision instead, and stare at Azathoth for a moment. The concentrated microwaves seem to annoy him more than hurt him. Suddenly, the Microwave vision blinks off. Your eyes sting a bit. You doubt you will ever be able to do that again at any point, and decide that you won't even bother trying.
You're thinking that Shenanigan's statement was more figurative than literal. Maybe you should try to use some of your more powerful LuckTechs?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

wink wink nudge nudge

Yaay!

Wait several minutes for all the tentacles to lash out and grab Tim. Then tickle their under-regions.

You generally make it a point to keep your fingers away from the under-regions of things. Also Tim doesn't like the idea of being lashed by tentacles.

TIm: punch azathoth really really hard in the face.

This is more Tim's speed.


OOOOOH YEAAAHHH BOOOOOOYYYYYY!

Tim causes 1 damage!
Only 999,999 health left to go!

Shenanigan's earlier assault with the fish damaged Azathoth's dignity.
He now only has 499 Respect Cookies left on his Dignity Platter.*

*This won't actually make him any easier to defeat. It is entertaining, though.

[Not The Author]

Tim

Why did you only punch him once, Tim

I thought you were better than that by now

Tim

You're doing it wrong, Tim

You're doing it wrong

[Dragon Fogel]

>Cyzthulu: Lucky Draw!

[Gustave]

Cyz: Use EldritchTech: Mindrendingly Sloppy Makeouts

[Bradley]

Tim: Continue your one million punch combo attack.

[snoomanwaff]

Cyz>list lucktechs. I can't remember what they are?
also use EldritchTech: Summon Shoggoth and have him use his ImpatienceTech: Nailboard.

[WateryHell]

Use LUCKTECH: CYX EX MACHINA

[Dragon Fogel]

>Shenanigan: Use DEUS REX MACHINA.

Not that I have any idea what that actually does.

[FKOD]

>Shenanigan: Use DEUS REX MACHINA.

Yeah, you can't really get much more deusly than you already are.

>Cyzthulu: Lucky Draw!

Cyzthulhu can't use LuckTechs!

Cyz: Use EldritchTech: Mindrendingly Sloppy Makeouts

You, uh... you don't even want to...
UUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Cyz>list lucktechs. I can't remember what they are?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Call For Help - Calls a friendly character to aid you.
Lucky Draw - Draw a random item from your inventory and use it in battle.
I'd Like to Phone a Friend, Regis - Does what it says on the tin.
Slammin' Slots - Summon up a giant mystical slot machine, which can bring forth a summonation or cast various spells.
Rumblin' Roulette - Summon up a giant mysterious roulette wheel, which can cause a number of stat effects or directly damage foes.
Ace up the Sleeve - Draw an Ace card from your sleeve. The effect of the card depends on the suit it's from.
Spades -- ???
Clubs -- ???
Diamonds -- Shield
Hearts -- ???
Deus Ex Machina - Can possibly solve a problem for you, deal massive damage to an opponent... or just ruin everything, depending on the whims of whatever deities control the universe.
SuperLuckTech: Lux Deorum - Makes you luckier! You have a better chance of better things happening to you. (Passive)
StronglinessTech: Berserker Rage - GRRR ANGER CYZ SMASH!
WisdomTech: Elemental Explosion - Allows you to strike using one of the classical elements; earth, wind, fire and water.
SexinessTech: Sexy Beam - Concentrate all of your sexiness down into a single, deadly beam.
CharmTech: Charming Dance - Charm your opponents through interperative dance! Or at least make them laugh at you.
UltimaTech: Cyz Ex Machina - ?????

Tim

Why did you only punch him once, Tim

I thought you were better than that by now

Tim

You're doing it wrong, Tim

You're doing it wrong

The voices in your head are right. You're a failure. A washup. A nobody. Nothing you ever do ever turns out right. You can't even beat up an unfathomably powerful deity correctly. You're pathetic. Your anger was all that kept you going, but without that, what are you? You're nothing. All of your bluster and machismo was just a thin, fragile mask hiding the fact that deep down inside you're just an insecure, scared little boy, looking for your parents' approval. You don't deserve to be here. You're just a worthless piece of trash that can't even punch things correctly.

Tim's Rage Aura gives way to an Aura of Despair. All of his attacks do a quarter damage of their default values, if he can even be bothered to do anything at all. It is highly likely that anything that would normally make him mad would now just drive him deeper into depression.



That is so sad! Janis is filled to the brim with sympathy for poor Tim.

Tim: Continue your one million punch combo attack.

What's the point. You probably only hit him the first time because of the element of surprise. He'd probably just grab you with his creepy tenta--



Oh dang. Probably no point in even resisting now, huh?

Use LUCKTECH: CYX EX MACHINA

You let Cyzthulhu fade away so that you can once again access your LuckTechs.





You feel divine energies coursing through you. You are now more powerful than you could ever have imagined.

It's go time.

Shenanigan: "Cyz! Don't forget my gift!"







You reach out to take the ShenaniFairy.

As you touch it, a curious transformation takes place...



Yes... this is...



Shenanigan Axe!

Cyz's DeusTechs

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Smite - Smite things.
Blink - Teleportation.
Calamity - Bring down the wrath of nature. Limited use indoors.
Heavenly Blast - Focus divine energies into a powerful energy blast.
Time Weave - Exact effects unknown. Causes strange time effects.
Judgement - Holy judgement rains down from the heavens, burning away the unrighteous.

Cyz can still use all LuckTechs and other skills that he has, including summonations. He cannot perform aspect summons while in God-form, however.

[Dragon Fogel]

>Summon the Ghostbusters!

[Bradley]

Cyz: Blink to a coffee shop and buy a muffin.

[Gustave]

>List all your summons.
Tim: Sigh of a Thousand Self-Loathing Teenagers
Janis' Sympathy Swan: Take flight!
>Use Time Weave.

[Not The Author]

There is only one option.

> Cyz: ~Sexybeam~

[Xander]

Janis: It's time. You must tell tim how you feel.