MSPA fan-fiction

[Shaon]

NO JADE YOU ARE THE DEMONS

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Jade Harley felt a pang deep in her stomach. She knew within every fibre of her being that something had just gone terribly, terribly wrong.
-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
GG: john!!!!!!!!!
GG: john answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!
GG: john be there john please be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No reply. Maybe he's just in a battle, she fruitlessly assured herself. She tabbed over a different pesterchum window, the pang in her stomach pupating into nausea.
-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
GG: rose where's john??????
GG: rose find john where is john???
TT: Jade.
GG: rose hes there right you can see him right??
TT: Jade, calm down.
GG: rose you see john hes right there and hes safe right????
TT: Jade, I can't see him when he's outside his house. I'm sure he's fine, Jade. Please calm down.
GG: no rose you dont understand!!!!!
GG: somethings gone wrong and i
Waves of nausea overtook her, each stronger than the one before, forcing her then to stumble away from her lunchbox computer to the nearest bathroom. Her arms, shaking and noodly, could barely support her as she held onto the sink for dear life. She glanced at the mirror and noticed that she looked incredibly pale. One could almost call her

gray.

Spurts of pain interlaced themselves with the nausea, enveloping her in a cocoon of sickness. She collapsed on the ground, curled up in the fetal position. Her hands, clenched firmly on her forehead, felt the sudden growth of two smooth, inhuman horns.

adn then jade was a zombie

[Gabu]

Awesome story

[I-gor]

Best. Pagetopper. Ever.

[Mr.Diskette]

That is the best tribute to Peter Chimaera ever.
Also, it's a good story on its own.

[Zuki]

The troll-logs get more and more temporally confusing. At some point I'm going to read all of them in a row and take notes as I go, so I can figure out what's going on. However, they also get more and more awesome.

And Shaon's pagetopper story is sweet and awesome. Good use of subtle foreshadowing, what with the phrase, 'pupating into nausea.' I thought it was just good lyric writing until I read the finish. I like, I like. It also reminds me of that one illustration Eyes5 did, of Jade turning into a carapace creature.

[Valter]

I'm liking the troll-logs! As Zuki said it's a bit difficult for me to grasp all the specifics (especially since I started reading at chapter 3 ), but the writing is entertaining!

And the Jade zombie thing was, uh...

So without further ado: CretaceouStuck chapter 6

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Pesterfuck* started 7:32PM, BC 67,435,554
(*Pesterfuck: Pesterchum + Clusterfuck. Multi-user chat room)

Current Chumcount:
raptorJesus [RJ]
tyrannosaurusTex [TT]

RJ: Okay, this should make things easier
RJ: Supposedly
RJ: Let's get TM and MW so we can get this shit on the road
TT: I'll grab TM!
TT: ooh, group session! This is gonna be cool!
RJ: I think you are being entirely too optimistic
RJ: But whatever

macetailWindu [MW] connected

triceraMex [TM] connected

TM: heeeeey!
TM: thanks for the invite!
TM: uh...
TM: what are your names?
RJ: What
MW: Frederick von Bassingstoke the Third
MW: You can call me Fred if you want
TM: i'm trixie!
TT: I don't have a name! And, uh, I'm pretty sure RJ doesn't either.
RJ: Names must be, how do I say it, "a Herbivore thing
RJ: Sorry let me try again: "Stupid Herbivore thing
RJ: That's better
TT: We don't really do the name thing.
TT: But I dunno, I think names are pretty cool!
TT: I'll be Theodore Roosevelt!
RJ: Okay that's it
RJ: Make sure to hit the carnivore station on the way home
RJ: And drop off your teeth while you're at it
RJ: BECAUSE YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A TRAITOR TO YOUR KIND
TT: That's mean!
TT: I can eat meat and have a name.
TM: yeah you should pick a name too rj!
RJ: Okay, fine
RJ: I'll be Velociraptor, okay
RJ: BECAUSE I AM A VELOCIRAPTOR
TM: good names all of you!!
TM: rj, can i call you vel?
RJ: ARGH WHATEVER
RJ: Let's just move on to a topic that wasn't started by TM
RJ: Now that we're all here we can actually think about what we're doing
TM: uh.....
TM: all? ._.
MW: Trixie Im pretty sure you were supposed to tell them
TM: i told theodore!
TT: Er, was I supposed to pass it on?
TT: I'm sorry, I thought you already told RJ...
RJ: OKAY THIS IS GREAT
RJ: You're all being enigmatic and shit
RJ: Obviously just telling me now would be entirely too much effort
TM: uh...
TM: we got a fifth.
MW: Yeah we got sent a message from some other dude
MW: He wanted in
MW: So we decided it wouldnt be a problem
MW: He had copies of the game too
TM: he's already all hooked in too!
TM: he should be in the medium in a few hours.
RJ: Okay, despite being completely unaware of how this could happen without me noticing
RJ: This isn't all that rage-inducing
RJ: Invite the new one in so I can find a new reason to hate all of you
TM: alright just a second!

tarotActivate TA connected

TA: HEY GUYS
RJ: Oh hell no
RJ: REASON FOUND
RJ: HATRED REESTABLISHED
TA: OH HEHE ITS RJ
TM: oh you know him?
TA: OH YEAH
TA: WE GO WAY BACK
RJ: Come on
RJ: Have you actually seen this guy speak
RJ: This is fucking ridiculous
TM: what's wrong with him??
RJ: Are you kidding
RJ: He's a troll
RJ: Not to mention a pathological liar
TA: OKAY HEAR ME OUT
TA: IN MY DEFENSE I WAS JUST TROLLING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AT RANDOM
TA: LIKE I PICKED A FEW CHUMHANDLES OUT OF A HAT OR SOMETHING
TA: ITS NOT LIKE IT WAS ANYTHING PERSONal
TA: WE CAN BE BEST BUDS FROM NOW ON
RJ: Okay, I am about to flip out
RJ: And not one of those wimp herbivore flipouts, either
RJ: I am going to flip out so violently
RJ: That I will eventually flip inside-out
RJ: There will be organs everywhere, and it will be fucking disgusting
TT: Awww, he said he would be nicer RJ.
TT: Besides, he's a Pterodactyl, how cool is that?
RJ: In this case I can say decisively that it is NOT COOL AT ALL
MW: Chill out dude
MW: He hasnt been rude at all
MW: Im already hooked up as his server side anyway
MW: We cant kick him out now
RJ: Yeah, I'm aware of that
RJ: And yet it DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HELPING MUCH
RJ: Okay I guess we can postpone the planning meeting
RJ: Go take a siesta or some shit
RJ: While I wait for my uncontrollable rage to go back to being barely controllable rage

raptorJesus [RJ] disconnected

MW: Okay
MW: I guess I should get back to working on getting you into the medium then TA

macetailWindu [MW] disconnected

TA: ALL THINGS CONSIDERED THAT DIDNT GO TOO POORLY
TM: heehee!
TT: Uh oh.
TT: Trixie I'm gonna need some help over here.
TM: oh, whoops! on my way!!

triceraMex [TM] disconnected

tyrannosaurusTex [TT] disconnected

CT: .good god you mudcrawlerS certainly have a talent for blatherinG
TA: AGH HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE
TA: AND IM NOT A MUDCRAWLER
TA: I FLY AROUND AND SHIT
CT: ,excuse ME for not making the distinctioN
CT: !between mudcrawlerS and mudflapperS
CT: .and 'its not so hard to hack my way into these silly chum sessions you insist on partaking iN
CT: .I eat security systems like this for breakfasT
TA: WELL WHATEVER
TA: NONE OF US SAID ANYTHING IMPORTANT THERE ANYWAY
TA: IVE GOT BETTER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW THAN DERANGED MALEVOLENT HACKERS

tarotActivate TA disconnected

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WHAT A TWIST

EDIT: I should try to organize these. I think I'll just grab the urls for each individual post.

[I-gor]

The trick to getting the Troll logs is to read them all at once. Because the first five are one chat session, and the next five are another chat session. Also, shenanigans.

CretaceouStuck=win.

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A compilation of the previous parts:
Troll Log I. Trologue.
Troll log I, movement I.
Troll log I, movement II..
Troll log I, movement III.
Troll log I, movement IV.
Troll log I, movement V.

Troll Log II.
Troll log II, movement I.
Troll log II, movement II.
Troll log II, movement III.
Troll log II, movement IV
Troll log II, movement V.

I don't know why I'm labeling these things like symphonies.

Troll Log II, movement V. Allegro vivo.

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turntechGodhead: hell yeah
turntechGodhead: thats some nice trolling AT
adiosToreador_2: i dUNNO
adiosToreador_2: i THINK i MIGHT NEED SOME MORE WORK ON IT
adiosToreador_2: i MIGHT SHOW iT LATER
turntechGodhead: yeah but you got her good with that old trick
gallowsCalibrator: SH3S 3V3N SPLUTT3RING
gallowsCalibrator: FOR R34L TH1S T1M3
ectoBiologist: what kinda pickup lines did you use
adiosToreador_2: i DUNNO
turntechGodhead: poetry apparently
grimAuxiliatrix: YEAH OKAY WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO TO GA
carcinoGeneticist: IS THAT ME?
grimAuxiliatrix: SHE'S LYING IN THE EGG POSITION AND MUMBLING TO HERSELF
grimAuxiliatrix: AND SHE JUST FAINTED
carcinoGeneticist: BEST PLOT TWIST EVER.
turntechGodhead: amen
carcinoGeneticist: PAST ME, DON'T LET HER NEAR ANY CRAYONS
ectoBiologist: crayons?
grimAuxiliatrix: DULY NOTED BRO
turntechGodhead: this is like some lame teen drama show that takes place on the internet, and with aliens
gallowsCalibrator: NO K1DD1NG
turntechGodhead: this is the most ironically terrible thing ive seen today, and i havent even left home
turntechGodhead: rose would have loved to be here
turntechGodhead: oh man you dont even know
ectoBiologist: I have been.
ectoBiologist: John left his PDA in my room.
ectoBiologist: its true
ectoBiologist: i did
turntechGodhead: not even falling for it
gallowsCalibrator: 4R3 YOU TWO S1TT1NG NEXT TO 34CH OTH3R, CH4TT1NG W1TH US?
ectoBiologist: No.
ectoBiologist: nah
turntechGodhead: well look at that
turntechGodhead: that chatlog GA sent earlier just became a hell of a bigger nightmare in a three second revelation
turntechGodhead: this shits ridiculous
ectoBiologist: that lasts forever
grimAuxiliatrix: IM SURE SHE'D BE DANCING IN VICTORY RIGHT NOW IF IT WASNT FOR HER BRAINSHOCK
ectoBiologist: Oh dear.
ectoBiologist: What happened?
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT DID YOU GUYS EVEN DO
ectoBiologist: Surely it's nothing serious.
carcinoGeneticist: WAIT, PAST ME
carcinoGeneticist: PUT GC ON
turntechGodhead: o hjust a evelation like them one i wam experiencing righ now
grimAuxiliatrix: GC IS A BIT BUSY AT THE MOMENT
grimAuxiliatrix: WHY?
carcinoGeneticist: DOING WHAT?
grimAuxiliatrix: GLOATING
carcinoGeneticist: DOES IT INVOLVES ULTRA-VIOLENCE?
grimAuxiliatrix: NO
grimAuxiliatrix: NOT YET
carcinoGeneticist: WELL, IN THE FUTURE-PAST SENSE, IT DOES
carcinoGeneticist: AND SHE KNOWS THE ENCRYPTION CODE AT PUTS ON HIS SECRET FILES
carcinoGeneticist: TELL HER TO SWAP A FEW RANDOM FILE NAMES ON GA'S COMPUTER IN THE PAST
grimAuxiliatrix: I DONT KNOW SHES JUST BEEN YELLING THAT "SHE KNEW IT" AND WRITHING LIKE A FLAGELLUM
gallowsCalibrator: Y3S 1 D1D
gallowsCalibrator: TH4T W4S FUN
grimAuxiliatrix: AND NOW SHES PRODDING GA WITH HER CANE
gallowsCalibrator: 1'LL H4V3 43M3MB3R3D TO H4V3 DON3 1T
carcinoGeneticist: TEMPORAL OBLIGATION
adiosToreador_2: wAIT, DID i DO SOMETHING WRONG?
grimAuxiliatrix: AND NOW TA IS PISSED FUCK WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO
carcinoGeneticist: WAIT
carcinoGeneticist: REMEMBER TO COPY THIS CONVERSATION DOWN
carcinoGeneticist: YOU'LL NEED IT WHEN YOU BECOME ME
grimAuxiliatrix: WHY
carcinoGeneticist: THAT WAY YOU HOLD ALL THE GOOD CARDS, IDIOT
grimAuxiliatrix: ALL RIGHT THEN
grimAuxiliatrix: I DID THAT
carcinoGeneticist: LIKE THIS GEM: adiosToreador_2: i TRIED SOME SICK BEATS BUT i DON'T THINK THEY'RE WORKING OUT THAT WELL grimAuxiliatrix: jjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkljjjjjjjklhhhhhi carcinoGeneticist: WHAT DID I TELL YOU
carcinoGeneticist: GOOD
carcinoGeneticist: NOW SAVE IT ON MY, OR YOUR COMPUTER
carcinoGeneticist: AND BE SURE TO UNLEASH IT AT THE PROPER TIME
ectoBiologist: yay time loop!
grimAuxiliatrix: OKAY
grimAuxiliatrix: THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE I GUESS
grimAuxiliatrix: ALSO, JOHN, I HATE YOU.
carcinoGeneticist: GA'LL BE AWAKE IN A MINUTE OR SO
carcinoGeneticist: BETTER SCRAM
grimAuxiliatrix: MAYBE I'LL READ THROUGH THIS SHIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENED
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S GOLD
grimAuxiliatrix: YEAH GOOD IDEA
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T 4M 1 DO1NG NOW?
turntechGodhead: jjjjjjjjkkkkkkkljjjjjjjklhhhhhhi
ectoBiologist: dave, did you fall asleep on your keyboard again?
turntechGodhead: um no
turntechGodhead: i was doing an ironic repeat
ectoBiologist: i see
turntechGodhead: melancholic ironic repeat
turntechGodhead: wait
turntechGodhead: not melancholic
carcinoGeneticist: SHE SHOULD BE AWAKE AGAIN NOW
carcinoGeneticist: BACK TO THE IRONY BEFORE GA NOTICES ANYTHING WRONG
ectoBiologist: so, uh, how's the weather?
ectoBiologist: Very good, John. The very thing to draw suspicion away from yourself.
turntechGodhead: yeah but are they just going to instantly set her loose on here again
carcinoGeneticist: I'M AFRAID SO
turntechGodhead: i mean is there like a group leader that has questions
turntechGodhead: or something
grimAuxiliatrix: Not Really
carcinoGeneticist: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT EVER AGAIN
grimAuxiliatrix: I Ignored Everyone's Questions
adiosToreador_2: wAS THE POETRY GOOD?
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes AT
grimAuxiliatrix: I
grimAuxiliatrix: Loved
grimAuxiliatrix: It
ectoBiologist: hoo boy
turntechGodhead: *strained voice*
gallowsCalibrator: HOOR4Y
gallowsCalibrator: NOW YOU C4N SCR3W W1TH YOUR P4ST S3LF
turntechGodhead: fuck this is like really bad shipping fan fiction
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 TH3 R3ST OF US
carcinoGeneticist: NOT SURPRISED
grimAuxiliatrix: I Guess Thats A Self Prophesy I Have To Fulfill
turntechGodhead: there is no greater joy then fucking with your past self
carcinoGeneticist: THAT'S TRUE
carcinoGeneticist: YOU HAVEN'T
carcinoGeneticist: OR YOU HAVE, BUT IT'S THE FUTURE YOU
grimAuxiliatrix: I'll Have To See About That
turntechGodhead: yeah other me is asleep
turntechGodhead: more like catatonic
turntechGodhead: i hijacked the conversation
turntechGodhead: a bit ago
grimAuxiliatrix: We May As Well Devote Ourselves To Trolling Our Past Selves.
carcinoGeneticist: HECK, I'M ALREADY DOING THAT
turntechGodhead: yeah you could do that
turntechGodhead: or you could play the god damn game
carcinoGeneticist: WE ALREADY HAVE
turntechGodhead: i was mostly talking to john
ectoBiologist: oh
ectoBiologist: That seems like a good choice.
turntechGodhead: yeah bro
turntechGodhead: i want to make this
turntechGodhead: i want you guys to make it
carcinoGeneticist: TG: happen
turntechGodhead: yeah
turntechGodhead: good one
grimAuxiliatrix: This Is Both Thw Worst Day Of My Life
grimAuxiliatrix: And The bEST
adiosToreador_2: iS THAT MY FAULT?
grimAuxiliatrix: I Need To
grimAuxiliatrix: Find By Bearings In This Unfooted Territory
grimAuxiliatrix: And Yes AT
grimAuxiliatrix: It Is Your Fault
turntechGodhead: well isnt this a crowning moment of heartwarming
turntechGodhead: alright come on guys
turntechGodhead: shits got take place
ectoBiologist: is this the time to pose as a team?
turntechGodhead: daves unconcious
turntechGodhead: and you and rose can though
ectoBiologist: who is this?
carcinoGeneticist: DON'T ASK
turntechGodhead: future dave
carcinoGeneticist: SEE?
carcinoGeneticist: JOHN, YOU SHOULDN'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS
turntechGodhead: dave crashed again
turntechGodhead: a bit ago
grimAuxiliatrix: Time Shenanigans Are Taken To New Levels Here
turntechGodhead: come on guys you need to finish the game
ectoBiologist: it's like in star wars i
ectoBiologist: and then we see the trade federation coming in
ectoBiologist: but you know the good guys are going to win
turntechGodhead: but that the movie sucked
ectoBiologist: and that the movie was awesome
turntechGodhead: john you're pretty much ticking away jades life
turntechGodhead: make with the team pose and then go play some games
carcinoGeneticist: HE'S RIGHT
carcinoGeneticist: JOHN?
ectoBiologist: what?
carcinoGeneticist: DON'T DIE THIS TIME.
ectoBiologist: oh
ectoBiologist: like dave never smoked?
turntechGodhead: you should probably block GC
gallowsCalibrator: H3Y
turntechGodhead: no offense
gallowsCalibrator: 1 DON'T TH1NK TH3 OTH3RS W1LL B3 OF MUCH H3LP NOW
gallowsCalibrator: YOU S4W M3
gallowsCalibrator: G4
gallowsCalibrator: CG
gallowsCalibrator: 1N TH3 P4ST
turntechGodhead: but you're a manipulative mastermind and john is a weenie pushover
turntechGodhead: so dont even try
gallowsCalibrator: TH4NK YOU
gallowsCalibrator: >:}
gallowsCalibrator: 1 H4V3 4 R3PUT4T1ON TO UPHOLD
turntechGodhead: and you uphold it masterfully
turntechGodhead: this is a quality i respect



END PART V
THE TROLLS WILL RETURN IN TROLL LOG III: THE AUXILIATRIX STRIKES BACK

[Shaon]

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. That above fic was me testing the waters of something that looks like it's going to end up as a completely different beast.

When I come up with ridiculous IDE/Theories, I tend to express them in the form of a fanfic exploring the ide. I did this with Mindstuck/St. Homestuck and I'm doing it again.

I present to you:

The Thirteenth: Prologue

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A pesterchum window popped up, interrupting Jade's view of Sburb. Agitated, she moved back to that window, only to have another chat pop up. And another. And another.
She tabbed to the nearest one and typed angrily.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --
CG: JADE.
GG: leave me alone!!!!! im busy
CG: JADE. DON'T FUCKING DO THIS.
GG: sorry i just want to have some fun with my friends!!!! unlike a meaniepants like you
CG: YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS FOR FUN. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN.
GG: are you jealous because you cant understand the human emotion of fun??
CG: JADE YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE IF YOU DON'T STOP FOR A SECOND AND LISTEN TO US.
Twelve chat windows pulsed simultaneously, new messages being received.
L1ST3N TO US, J4D3.
lISTEN TO US,
GG: no i
GG: i
GG: what do you want?
Jade sighed. She might as well hear them out if they're going to be this insistent.
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT, JADE. HAVEN'T YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU ONCE YOUR "FRIENDS" HAVE BEATEN THIS GAME?
GG: ill go back home and have fun and be happy of course!!
CG: OH MY GOD. YOU'RE SO STUPID.
CG: YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT.
GG: why wouldnt i??? thats silly!!!
CG: LOOK, YOU IDIOT. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF LIKE THIS. ARE YOU REALLY THIS DESPERATE TO PROVE YOURSELF TO HASS?
GG: hass?? what do you know about grandpa??????
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU ARE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS. IF YOU DON'T KNOCK IT OFF, EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN WITH YOUR PITIFUL EYES WILL CEASE TO EXIST.
CG: KEEP THEM SAFE, JADE. KEEP US SAFE.
Those three words echoed in her head, morphing into the voices of the other trolls.
Keep Us Safe, Jade.
She rolled out of her improvised chair of plushies, the voices crying out in desperation.
keep u2 2afe, jade.
kEEP US SAFE,
She clasped her hands over her ears, as if that could keep the sounds away. How did she know what trolls sounded like, anyway--?

It all came rushing back to her.

[I-gor]

This is good stuff. And the fact that this is only the prologue is even more inviting.

[Tenebrais]

Can't wait to see where this leads! (Although I still find Hass being the fanon name of Grandpa to be silly. Sort of breaks the mood for me.)

[gardenGenosse]

Shaon, under no circumstances should you stop writing that story.

[Acey Enn]

Can't wait to see where this leads! (Although I still find Hass being the fanon name of Grandpa to be silly. Sort of breaks the mood for me.)

It could be short for Hassan or something.

Though I highly doubt that Grandpa Harley is of Arab descent (which I'm pretty sure Hassan is), considering his surname.

[A Fan]

ectoBiologist: like dave never smoked?

Was... was that a Narbonic reference?

Also, The Thirteenth greatly intrigues me. I look forward to more.

[I-gor]

ectoBiologist: like dave never smoked?

Was... was that a Narbonic reference?

Also, The Thirteenth greatly intrigues me. I look forward to more.

It is indeed a Narbonic reference. Nice catch!

[Valter]

Damn, but I wish I didn't suck at this. How do you link to individual posts in a topic?
I guess I can at least say that my first entry is near the top of this page

Pestersaurus 7: Tonight Someone DIES

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Pesterfuck started 9:24PM, BC 67,435,554

Current Chumcount:
raptorJesus [RJ]
tyrannosaurusTex [TT]
macetailWindu [MW]
triceraMex [TM]

RJ: Okay where the hell is TA
TM: he's on his way!
TT: What I want to know is...
TT: what's up with the time stamp at the top of these sessions?
MW: Yeah that looks wrong
MW: Let me check
TT: That year setting is just unnecessarily huge!
TT: It's like Pesterchum just picked a number out of a hat.
MW: Uh
MW: Apparently the timing is currently set to Gregorian
RJ: Who the fuck is Gregory
MW: I dunno, but he has to go
TM: ooh, let's make a motion!
TM: all in favor of overthrowing gregory and his wicked timekeeping say aye!
MW: Aye guess so
TT: Totally!
RJ: Whatever
TM: alright let's fix it!!
TM: uh guys...
TM: how do we fix it ._.
MW: I can handle this
MW: Found it
MW: Ooh I can put in my own time

tarotActivate [TA] connected

time setting is now AFB

RJ: That was conspicuous timing
TA: AFB? WHATS THAT
MW: After Fredericks Birth of course
TA: WHO IS THIS FREDERICK
RJ: Quit it! We're all here, let's get some work done
MW: Fredericks my name
TM: ooh! we never went over names with ta!
TA: RJ IS RIGHT WE SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE
TA: FIRST THINGS FIRST THOUGH
TA: CT ARE YOU STILL SNOOPING
RJ: CT? What are you talking about
CT: .oh ,yeah totallY
RJ: What the fuck is going on
TA: HE WAS APPARENTLY IN THE LAST PESTERFUCK
TA: USING MAD HACKER SKILLS OR SOME SHIT
TA: ANYWAY COULD YOU LEAVE US ALONE THIS TIME WE HAVE SOME ACTUAL WORK TO DO
CT: .no probleM

chronicTallywack [CT] disconnected

RJ: Well, as long as he's gone
RJ: I guess we can commence
RJ: First things first I need to know the name of your Land, how you prototyped your kernal sprite
RJ: And finally your land's ultimate quest
CT: .hA hA psychE
CT: .I just sent a dummy messagE
CT: .,yeah 'Im totally still herE
TT: Hey, quit it! We're trying to get something done!
CT: .nO
CT: .,hell I brought some more of my buddieS
CT: :sound ofF
AC: HerE.
CG: PRESent
AG: I think WE'VE got BETTER things TO do, BUT whatever.
GT: tltolay pesrnet
RJ: FFFFFFFFFF
CT: .yeah and 'dont bother using security measureS
CT: .'were so far inside your silly primitive computerS
CT: .we can practically taste the silicoN
RJ: FFFFFFFFFF
TM: vel sprung a leak!
TM: are we going to have to take another siesta?
RJ: NO WE ARE NOT
RJ: I would like to propose another motion
RJ: This one being "We will never use the Pesterfuck service EVER AGAIN
RJ: ALL IN FAVOR
TT: Yeah, this is just getting silly.
MW: The lack of organization is apalling
TM: i kind of like it!
TM: but we're not gett anything done at all, so... ._.
TA: I HOPE YOU FOUR ARENT THIS RAGINGLY INCOMPETANT OUTSIDE OF PESTERCHUM
RJ: OKAY CONSENSUS REACHED GOOD NIGHT

raptorJesus [RJ] disconnected

TT: Talking was fun and all...
TT: but it was taking time away from stomping all over imps!
TT: So I guess ending this is for the best.

tyrannosaurusTex [TT] disconnected

TM: so are we not allowed to talk to each other anymore?
MW: nah Pesterchum is still fair game
MW: I think he just meant this disastrous group service

macetailWindu [MW] disconnected

TA: WHO ARE THOSE JERKS ANYWAY
TM: oh i can answer that!
TM: they're aliens!
TM: they've been messing with us for a while now.
TM: although not usually this persistently...
TA: FUNNY HOW ANSWERING THE QUESTION WITH PERFECT ACCURACY
TA: WAS ACTUALLY LESS HELPFUL IN THIS CASE

tarotActivate [TA] disconnected

TM: soooo....

chronicTallywack [CT] disconnected

TM: awwww!

triceraMex [TM] disconnected

AG: HA ha HA ha HA
AG: OKAY that WAS definitely WORTH it.

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nobody died
I think I might stop after this one. It has strayed too far from its original purpose of "dinosaurs + Homestuck". I must put it down before it gets completely out of hand
Oh and if you need any details on GT's speaking pattern try here for details.

[P_equals_NP]

Okay I'm starting up a fan-fic (first one), it's called "Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff play Sburb: P1"

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It was just another ordinary day. I couldn't wait to be a useless piece of shit all day and play Sburb. That's when I fell down the stairs. Bro had warned me about the stairs. But it keeps hapening.

I fell like that for a while. Then I finally reached the bottom. I noticed that Sweet Bro himself was pestering me. I decided to go see just what was up.

- SweetBro [SB] began pestering HellaJeff [HJ] -
SB: Bro did
SB: you get the new hot game that everones buzzing about these days
HJ: DUDE you KNOW i did
HJ: you KNOW it!
SB: that is SO SWEET man how about a bro hug bump
SB: ok how do we do this.............
SB: let's DO this thing
HJ: lets make this shit work
SB: where doing it man
SB: where MAKING THIS HAPEN
- SweetBro [SB] ceased pestering HellaJeff [HJ] -

So then I went out to installing the game. But not all the buttons were the same. I couldn't tell whats the difference. The selection has too many ...... OPTIONS and MODULS. I was all like gog DAMN! it was so infuriating so I went like shit whare's the manual.

Soon I has the manual's attention. and now. the it are involved. jesus chris. Sweet Bro suddenly appeared behind me. "AHAHAHA omfg i cant BELIEVE what you made take police. and i was a little embarassed. augh it looked like sometimes, maybe there right... that some times video games DOES CAUSE violence.

[Gabu]

Okay I'm starting up a fan-fic (first one), it's called "Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff play Sburb: P1"

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It was just another ordinary day. I couldn't wait to be a useless piece of shit all day and play Sburb. That's when I fell down the stairs. Bro had warned me about the stairs. But it keeps hapening.

I fell like that for a while. Then I finally reached the bottom. I noticed that Sweet Bro himself was pestering me. I decided to go see just what was up.

- SweetBro [SB] began pestering HellaJeff [HJ] -
SB: Bro did
SB: you get the new hot game that everones buzzing about these days
HJ: DUDE you KNOW i did
HJ: you KNOW it!
SB: that is SO SWEET man how about a bro hug bump
SB: ok how do we do this.............
SB: let's DO this thing
HJ: lets make this shit work
SB: where doing it man
SB: where MAKING THIS HAPEN
- SweetBro [SB] ceased pestering HellaJeff [HJ] -

So then I went out to installing the game. But not all the buttons were the same. I couldn't tell whats the difference. The selection has too many ...... OPTIONS and MODULS. I was all like gog DAMN! it was so infuriating so I went like shit whare's the manual.

Soon I has the manual's attention. and now. the it are involved. jesus chris. Sweet Bro suddenly appeared behind me. "AHAHAHA omfg i cant BELIEVE what you made take police. and i was a little embarassed. augh it looked like sometimes, maybe there right... that some times video games DOES CAUSE violence.

Oh God, you've just set up probably the most amazing thing ever. So many... JOKES and REFARENCES.

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Distortion: Chapter 3

John stirred in the middle of the night, but Rose and Jade were still sound asleep sharing what little space there was on the air mattress. He always was a light sleeper, and going to bed considerably earlier had given him a case of insomnia. John scratched at his sunburnt face, got up and tiptoed over to the fridge. He saw a carton of milk, but after checking the expiration date threw it out. It made him think that quite possibly Dave really was telling the truth, and that he simply intended to give his friends a good time by ignoring his sickness.

He heard soft moaning and hurking sounds emanating from the bathroom. Speak of the devil, John thought, and he slid over to the half-closed door.

“Dave?” He reached for the light switch.

“Bro, don't turn on th-“ John didn't react in time, and had turned on the light. John squinted his eyes, somewhat already readjusted from the light from the refrigerator a minute ago. Dave was wearing his sunglasses, but even then he instinctively covered his eyes.

“I warned you, man.” Dave felt for the toilet, and stuck his head in it.

“Did you have any of that milk in the fridge?”

“…Milk?”

“Yeah. It was three weeks expired.”

“I never drink milk, man. Think about it.” Dave stopped to cough. “You're drinking something coming from cow nipples, and those nipples are placed very uncomfortably close to the crotch.” The thought made Dave vomit.

“Then why did you buy some?” John was getting confused.

“I don't know, man. The other day I found a sandwich in there, and I don't remember ever buying or making or making some bitch make it…”

“Jesus, Dave. Why haven't you seen anyone yet?”

“Jesus, John.” Dave mocked. “Why can't you see I'm fine?”

“Dave, you're vomiting for the third time in front of me, you zoned out twice, you can't remember half the things you can remember.”

“Symptoms of food poisoning.” Dave held his head, eyes still shut tightly.

“You just said you never drink any milk.” John was careful not to wake Rose and Jade, though his voice did raise a little. “See? Your memory's fucking up.”

Dave got his face out of the toilet bowl and slumped against the shower door. “I'll level with ya, since you're my dawg. There's this thing I'm goin' to tonight, I think. Is it Sunday?”

“Yeah, Dave.”

“Got a gig tonight, John. The ass of this concert is larger than an obese hag who still buys all her clothes extra skinny. It'll be hoppin' and boppin'. I'll be scratchin' and be making serious scratch.”

“How much?”

“Five grand, bro.”

“Holy shit.”

“Man, I know. Been makin' me nervous. I can't screw dis up, man. I could be makin' a name for myself tonight or screw myself royal.”

“Oh God, dude. What can I do?” John's eyes brightened, though Dave couldn't tell. “Maybe I can get Rose and Jade to come with me to see you perform.”

“I can't imagine any of you there. Especially Jade.”

“Dude, anything to stop you puking everywhere.”

Dave sighed, headache alleviating a bit. “You're so goddamn pushy when you want to be, Egbert. Just tell those two we're going to a movie so they don't try to weasel their way out of it like rabbits squeezing in tight spaces just to piss off their masters.”

John chuckled. “Sure thing, Dave.” He got up. “Should I turn off the light?”

“Yeah.” The bathroom became pitch black.

“Thanks, man. And thanks for, uh… saving our lives back there. Just didn't want the girls thinking I'm becoming a pansy or anything.”

“Haha, yeah. Bros before hos.”

“You know it, man.”

Dave sat there, and listened. Eventually, he heard John's soft snoring among Rose's and Jade's. He got up and headed back to his room.

“You'll believe anything, Egbert.” He smirked.

---

“Woah, woah, woah. He's taking us WHERE?”

John was taking fresh clothes from his rolling travel bag. “To a movie, Rose. He sorta feels bad about what happened last night and wants to make up for it.”

“I don't believe that trite garbage in a second. Do you, Jade?”

“What's a movie, guys?”

John explained. “It's a series of moving pictures, sound and music that tell a story.”

Jade squealed and clapped her hands together. “Yay, a story!”

“Rose, you gotta trust him every once in a while.”

“Did you already forget that he almost killed us last night?”

“No, not at all, but he wants to make it up to us, so why say no?”

“John, remember back when we were playing Sburb, and you let one of those trolls kill you in an alternate timeline?”

“Yeah, and Dave saved my life.”

Jade concurred. “That's true, Rose! And maybe Dave is really sorry for what he did and stuff and just wants to have us forget that ever happened, because nothing bad came out of it!”

Rose softened up. “I don't know, Jade, but… ugh… I just don't think this is Dave's intentions.”

“Look, we'll know when we see it, Rose. I just don't think Dave would pull such a thing.”

John walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He carefully decided to put his clothes on the floor, then realized how stupid of an idea that was. He checked himself in the mirror, and saw writing on it in a red, waxy substance John couldn't put his finger on. It simply stated “IT KEEPS HAPENING”.

“Dear God, I hope Dave's ok.” John took some toilet paper and rubbed it away.

Sometimes I wish I was a little LESS verbose with stories. With what I have so far, I was expecting to have it at about 15 pages, not just starting the 18th. Oh well.

[Crilly]

I'm not complaining :

[P_equals_NP]

Well as long as I'm not doing anything else, part 2.

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So Sweet Bro helped me set up my game and then went back the stairs or whatever to where ever he lives now. Suddenly I heard a rumbling outside the dor. Oh no, it must be Obama coming back in his big private jet. i knew that as long as he was here i wouldn't get any peace. I would need to postpone my game session for now. It didn't really matter, I needed Sweet Bro to go hook up to his game so we could play together.

So I was like BARACK HAVE YOU SEEN, HAVE YOU SEEN MY STOCKS
AROUND ANYWEAR?
and he was liek no dude AGAIN with the economy what IS it with you and STOCKS MAN
its like you must be TOKING up on a joint to make you STON STONED or something, i can't even think of WHO leaves all there MONEY lyong around like that.

As I heard him scream AUUUUUUGHHHHH, i HAVE the car. THE STOCK RUSE WAS A...... DISTACTION. the econ the economy in ruins? pfff..... brah time to get my game on no what im sayin... I took my laptop out and decided now would be a good time to go pester Sweet Bro again and see if he had connected.

- HellaJeff [HJ] began pestering SweetBro [SB] -
HJ: bro u their?
SB: bro i got a CD for the GAME.
HJ: its sports? dog i AM SO JEALOUS you know i love the big game.
SB: no
SB: i got the hot new game that everones buzzing about these days
SB: AGAIN with the big game what IS it with you and ROCKS MAN
HJ: oh yeah
SB: aw right where doing it man
SB: where MAKING THIS HAPEN

So the game like installed and stuff. The title menu made me feel like I was TOKING up on a joint to make me STONED or something. but the taskbar had too many PRICES and BUTTONS so i started just jerking around with it. 1.5 out of 5 hats so far just to keep it real.

But then

HJ: hey
HJ: i put.....
HJ: JELLY on this hot god
SB: AHAHAHAHAHA JUST HOW HIGH DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO BE JUST TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT......
- HellaJeff [HJ] ceased pestering SweetBro [SB]

Urgh, it was like, that was what he always did. No peace and quiet, always something bad would hapen and he would get the better of me. Well whatever, talking is for little children who poop hard in their baby ass dipers. NOT MEE.

Next time - Sweet Bro's perspective, and the prototyping.

[Nickie]

DgallowsCalibrator- This is so freaking hilarious please continue kthxbai

“What's a movie, guys?”

John explained. “It's a series of moving pictures, sound and music that tell a story.”

Jade squealed and clapped her hands together. “Yay, a story!”

YES

[Tenebrais]

Sometimes I wish I was a little LESS verbose with stories. With what I have so far, I was expecting to have it at about 15 pages, not just starting the 18th. Oh well.

18 pages? Wow, House Party is only on 17.

[P_equals_NP]

Part 3 - of SB&HJ Sburb

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HJ: hey
HJ: i put.....
HJ: JELLY on this hot god
SB: AHAHAHAHAHA JUST HOW HIGH DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO BE JUST TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT......
- HellaJeff [HJ] ceased pestering SweetBro [SB]

I turned around and sure enough there was the hot god. With jelly, oh gawd what was he even DOING here. I saw the milk carton like all levitate and stuff i could almost hear him in my head AW YEAH BITCHES its time..... to GET my pour on but I just did NOT have time for this shit that he seemed to be wanting to pulll. i bet right now he's not even rememembering the stairs, i WARNED him about STAIRS ughh how man times am I need to tell him MAN.

SweetBro [SB] began pestering HellaJeff [HJ]
HJ: i need to know what ANGEL to use...
HJ: it isn't coming out
SB: shut thef fuck up
SB: ok, AGAIN with the ANGEL problems, seriously dude?????????
SB: just do me a FAVOR, put it back in the fridge bro...
HJ: you house in ruins? pfff.... brah time to GET my pour on no what im saying....
SB: shut thef fuck up
SB: where doing this
SB: the game
SB: is what where making hapen
HJ: the big game? bro i am -
SB: shut thef fuck up
SB: make it hapen
SweetBro [SB] ceased pestering HellaJeff [HJ]

- Back at HJ's house

pfff... imma GET my pour on wit with his MILK no what im saying... FUCKIN NANCHO PARTY! get my nacho on aAUUHHHH.
I turned around. It was just that asshole Sweet Bro. I told him SHIT bro you scare me dumpass! who were you expecting... the easter bunny
<non-canon branch off>
HJ: well it is my birthday
SB: put the (easter) bunny BACK IN THE BOX
SB: why couldn't you put the bunny back in the BOX
<non-canonity ends>
shit NOW look EINSTEIN i yelled at him their falling. bro... ohhh kayy..... what do you do with these nachoes alchemiters and totem laves falling in the air. now was my chance to finally get bro. why don't you take a picture screenshot, it'll last longer. but he took out like this pink dumpass camera that went SNAP. oh WOW ahahahaha. you was RIGHT. thits shits lasting FOREVER.

-back to Bro's perspective

suddenly right then my squirell dude jumped in like out of a window and took the game. and there he goes... the squirell has his game. i am NOT joking. WHAT did that guy even SMOKE this is INSANE HAHAHA.

once i tried asking what KIND OF skills even are those stunts you just pulled, but he was like i could tell you but i'd would have to kill you oh man he is so great ive got to use that line sum time. GOD DAAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNN. YEAH the squeerl is cool, but he collects like these ACORNS every wear. It's like I look and im like AHAHAHAH wher do you even GET a nut thats that big, but he just sort of leers like a leer quirell.

by the way, i asked him RIGHT NAO. he pulled off some crazy stunts, i JUST DO not BELIEVE what i saw. He took like a 'cruxtruder' or somemething liek that and popped a crazy flashing thing out and dumped like a HUGE acorn in it, I mean for real WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET A NUT THATS THAT BIG, and now he's doing a whole bunch of other stuff.

maybe there right.... that sometimes video games, DOES CAUSE violence.

SweetBro [SB] began pestering HellaJeff [HJ]
SB: got ass kicked by tha squirelll
SB: that's really all there is to say on the matter.
SweetBro [SB] ceased pestering HellaJeff [HJ]

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okay yeah guys sorry for the quality dip, it's had to describe the game with nothing but quotes.

[Shaon]

Gabu, I really am interested in how this story is going. I wish I were more verbose, though.

The Thirteenth: One
Prologue

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-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
GG: ds8de475
EB: jade?
GG: alchemize that
EB: okay, give me a minute though.
John Egbert gawked at his surroundings. Living, breathing chess pieces, of all things, were being mass-grown in test tubes. He vaguely recalled one of the trolls telling him about something similar to this... weren't they hiding here or something?
EB: i think i'm in the veil.
EB: aren't the trolls supposed to be here?
GG: can you give that code to rose?
EB: um, okay.
Small alarm bells began ringing in John's head. He could immediately tell that something was definitely off with Jade. Regardless, he opened another chat window.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
EB: rose, if you're awake, could you alchemize ds8de475 for me?
TT: John, you missed me by literally two seconds. Get back here.
EB: i'm kind of tied up now. it'd be really cool if you could do this for me, though, and i'll be back as soon as i can.
TT: Fine.
He switched back to Jade's chat.
EB: you heard about where the trolls are, right?
GG: theyre in a different session. youre not going to find them here
GG: please give that code to rose
EB: jade, are you okay? you seem a bit sad. have the trolls been bugging you again?
GG: its not important. please give that code to rose
Rose's chat window began pulsing rapidly.
TT: John.
TT: John, what the fuck is this.
TT: I can't see what it looks like, how much it costs... I can't even shrink it down.
TT: Where did you get this code from?
TT: John? Are you there?
Heart racing, John switched windows again. Something was going very badly.
EB: jade where did you get that code from
GG: its not important
EB: jade, no one can alchemize it. it's broken or something.
GG: oh. mustve been for later on
GG: let me get another one
EB: jade.
EB: jade. no. stop.
EB: jade, tell me what's wrong. right now.
GG: nothings wrong. im fine
EB: jade that is complete bullshit. i've never seen you this unenergetic in the entire five years i've known you.
GG: i
GG: get away from me
-- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB] --

[I-gor]

OK. I come back from school. And there's a Pangaean Pesterlogs update, a new fic by DgallowsCalibrator, an update to "Distorted", and to "The Thirteenth". This thread will probably explode from the cool stuff.

>[I] Because, It's Midnight_

A RadioLog by I-gor and Mr.Diskette

Heart of a lion
And the wings of a bat
Because it's midnite!

(Note: This log actually has nothing to do with Homestar Runner.)

The fiction already!

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Spades Slick has joined.
Spades Slick: All right is everyone on the line?
Spades Slick: Hmm
Spades Slick: Dead air.
Diamonds Droog has joined.
Diamonds Droog: Hey, Slick
Spades Slick: Alright then, Droog
Clubs Deuce has joined.
Clubs Deuce: What's happening?
Spades Slick: Anyone else actually taking part of planning?
Clubs Deuce: Isn't that your job?
Spades Slick: Alright then, where's Hearts?
Diamonds Droog: He said he'd be here
Spades Slick: This is no two bit job, Deuce.
Diamonds Droog: That a fact?
Diamonds Droog: What's on your mind?
Spades Slick: Besides, I need to see if you guys aren't complete shit at planning
Clubs Deuce: I can plan
Clubs Deuce: Sometimes
Spades Slick: And you know what's going on.
Spades Slick: Those geometric bastards burnt down the Safehouse
Diamonds Droog: Ah yes
Spades Slick: And set up a bank on the same block.
Clubs Deuce: Heist time?
Spades Slick: Yes
Diamonds Droog: Very well.
Spades Slick: Only problem, these guys are actually competent
Diamonds Droog: Don't make me laugh
Hearts Boxcars has joined.
Diamonds Droog: Have you seen their leader?
Clubs Deuce: What's the haps, Boxcars?
Hearts Boxcars: Hearts here
Diamonds Droog: Hey
Spades Slick: Alright so everyone's here.
Spades Slick: We're discussing taking down the Pentatris' bank
Hearts Boxcars: Easy, we jus' break down the front door an' kill 'em.
Diamonds Droog: What took you so long, Boxcars?
Diamonds Droog: Had to detain another of the customers?
Hearts Boxcars: The casino is 'specially rowdy tonight Droog
Clubs Deuce: I thought you said shoplifting wasn't going to be a problem
Hearts Boxcars: Won't be.
Diamonds Droog: Indeed.
Hearts Boxcars: So anyway, why don' we jus' burst in brute force like and off these guys?
Spades Slick: Because Hearts, its those damn sleuths
Clubs Deuce: Sounds fair
Diamonds Droog: Sleuths.
Spades Slick: Ever since they picked up our trail, they're diggin' our shit before we do it.
Diamonds Droog: Aren't you confusing them with that new outfit?
Diamonds Droog: The Felt?
Clubs Deuce: Those guys are creepy
Spades Slick: They're incompetent though
Spades Slick: These guys ain't
Hearts Boxcars: How competent are these red assholes?
Spades Slick: All five are about about your disposition
Spades Slick: and build
Hearts Boxcars: Eh
Diamonds Droog: Because, Slick, there's word going around on the street about you and that one member of the Felt
Diamonds Droog: What was her name again?
Spades Slick: Not now Droog.
Spades Slick: In fact.
Spades Slick: Not ever.
Clubs Deuce: Aww
Spades Slick: Just take solace in the fact that I'm too busy to kill you for that.
Clubs Deuce: Come on, Jackson, spill the beans
Hearts Boxcars: Damn Slick, that's pretty touchy subject, eh?
Diamonds Droog: Apparently so.
Spades Slick: Look, discussing this is not bringing those scofflaws in the bank down faster
Diamonds Droog: All right.
Diamonds Droog: When do I get my new suit for the June wedding?
Spades Slick: We'll deal with these "Felt" later
Hearts Boxcars: I'm thinking its best ya step off Droog.
Diamonds Droog: Whatever.
Spades Slick: No, no, its okay Hearts
Spades Slick: Let them talk
Spades Slick: I'm dying to slit some throats.
Clubs Deuce: Uh
Hearts Boxcars: You wouldn't kill our men, wouldja Slick?
Clubs Deuce: So what were these tetris guys doing again?
Spades Slick: Building a bank
Diamonds Droog: Pay attention, Deuce.
Spades Slick: On top of the remains of our safehouse
Spades Slick: And we don't have an obvious way in
Diamonds Droog: So, we have Deuce go in the back
Diamonds Droog: Lay some C4 and leave
Spades Slick: These guys did the research
Spades Slick: They know we're going to get back at them
Clubs Deuce: I could just put a barrel of black powder at their door
Diamonds Droog: Then we head in guns blazing
Spades Slick: I don't think even The Olden Maids would fall for that
Diamonds Droog: As per usual
Hearts Boxcars: And besides, the sleuths would be on our tail in seconds, right?
Diamonds Droog: You just have to think of something more complicated, don't you?
Clubs Deuce: Uh...
Clubs Deuce: Blow them up too?
Spades Slick: Not that easy
Spades Slick: I didn't expect it either, but these are not ordinary police
Diamonds Droog: Did you give them "the message" yet, Boxcars?
Hearts Boxcars: I'll get on that, I guess
Diamonds Droog: How hard is it to lob a trashcan through a plate glass window?
Spades Slick: Big casino
Spades Slick: Wait, I need to look for something
Clubs Deuce: Like what?
Diamonds Droog: Your devotchka's telephone number?
Clubs Deuce: Aren't you kinda asking for trouble there?
Diamonds Droog: Danger is my middle name, Deuce.
Hearts Boxcars: Message sent and acknowledged I'd say
Hearts Boxcars: Every'un scrambled outta there pretty quick though
Clubs Deuce: That's good
Diamonds Droog: Is that the one you laced with explosives?
Hearts Boxcars: Nah
Clubs Deuce: Yeah
Hearts Boxcars: Wait it is
Diamonds Droog: What did you do now, Boxcars?
Clubs Deuce: It's ok
Clubs Deuce: Slick told me to put the C4 in that one, so I did
Hearts Boxcars: Okay good one little guy
Diamonds Droog: Great.
Diamonds Droog: How long was the fuse?
Clubs Deuce: Uh, five, six minutes
Hearts Boxcars: What.
Diamonds Droog: You know what that means.
Diamonds Droog: Start running, Boxcars
Hearts Boxcars: Hold on guys I gotta scramble the fuck out of here like a weasel or sommat
Diamonds Droog: And there he goes.
Diamonds Droog: A true, all American hero.
Clubs Deuce: Yeah.
Spades Slick: Alright I'm on the line again
Diamonds Droog: You're back.
Diamonds Droog: So soon.
Spades Slick: Any planning get done?
Spades Slick: Did you guys accomplish anything?
Clubs Deuce: I have some shaped charges...
Spades Slick: Hmmm
Diamonds Droog: Boxcars sent "the message"
Spades Slick: Well good on that, good on that.
Diamonds Droog: I thought you'd be pleased
Spades Slick: Casino's shaped up then.
Spades Slick: Yeah, pretty pleased
Clubs Deuce: Wait.
Clubs Deuce: There's this one guy who's following you
Clubs Deuce: One of those green guys
Clubs Deuce: Wearing this stupid red hat
Spades Slick: What, which gang is green again?
Diamonds Droog: How are you getting this information?
Diamonds Droog: Your usual hiding place?
Clubs Deuce: No one expects to find me here
Diamonds Droog: That's more than I needed to know.
Spades Slick: Okay, someone is trailing me here and I don't know what they do
Spades Slick: Is it a tough guy or a gimmick one?
Diamonds Droog: Weak.
Diamonds Droog: But he's kinda tricky
Spades Slick: Gimmicky then.
Spades Slick: Whats his schtick?
Diamonds Droog: Follows your every step.
Clubs Deuce: It's uncanny
Spades Slick: Damn, you're sure he's on me?
Diamonds Droog: You did buy two drinks, yes?
Diamonds Droog: You did give one to your sharp, yes?
Diamonds Droog: He just went by that place.
Spades Slick: Oh fuck.
Clubs Deuce: I'm pretty sure no one else besides Slick knows where that is
Diamonds Droog: Shut up, Deuce.
Spades Slick: Hold on, this green torso is asking to be offed
tracerBullet has joined.
Spades Slick: Where is Hearts?
Spades Slick: Hearts guys where is he?
Clubs Deuce: Last time I checked...
Clubs Deuce: He was delivering that message
Clubs Deuce: With the explosives
Clubs Deuce: Like you ordered
Spades Slick: Okay, why isn't he on the radio?
Spades Slick: Droog, Deuce?
Diamonds Droog: He's on the lam
Diamonds Droog: Coppers got a look at him, I guess
Spades Slick: Like the cops do anything around here
Clubs Deuce: I think it was one of those sleuths again
Spades Slick: Fuck, he may well be screwed
Diamonds Droog: You set up the police, didn't you?
Diamonds Droog: I thought you were the mayor.
Spades Slick: We can only hope it was one of them.
Spades Slick: The police never do anything
Spades Slick: They waltz around and die
Spades Slick: they never did anything
Spades Slick: I didn't expect them to.



END PART 1 OF 5

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This one is kinda different, especially since we never saw the Midnight Crew actually "speak". And the picture is off because they're supposed to be in different places in their casino, and I kinda suck at drawing.

Me: Droog, Deuce
Disk: Slick, Boxcars

The "Pentatris" is a gang we made up that's based off of the Tetris pieces, who apparently burned down one of the Midnight Crew's safehouses and built a bank on top of it. The "Sleuths" are a bunch of police detectives.

Part II

[Valter]

Well, some of them do speak in that confusing third person speak that Andrew does on occasion, but admittedly no actual text.

This one is called "nightmare fuel"

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LC: HE THINKS US GONE
CS: HA HA HE HE HO HO
LC: HE THINKS ME RUINED; CUT IN HALF
DC: HE HE HO HA HA HO
CS: HE THINKS THE TIME THAT SPAWNED ME IS DEAD
LC: HA HE HA HO HO HE
DC: HE THINKS ME GONE FROM HIS PRECIOUS TOWER
CS: HA HO HO HO HE HE
LC: HE WILL REGRET HIS COMPLACENCY
DC: HA HO HO HE HE HA
CS: HO HO HE HA HA HE
LC: HA HA HA HA HA HA
DC: WE WILL FIND HIM AGAIN
HA HA HA HO HO HO HE HE HE

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