MSPA fan-fiction

[Saroko]

Red Pen, I just read your fic. It's the greatest thing ever. I hope you post the next part soon.

[poshiyoshi]

Yeah, Red Pen, your fic's great! I really love the premise, even if it sounded silly at first, the fic showed that the idea wasn't really that much of a dumb idea. That it was actually a really good one. I can't wait to see the nest part!

[DocBeard]

Well this took me longer than expected, but here it is.

Tale of Archane: Final Round.

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“This is selfish of you, John.” Rose murmured, not meeting her friend's eyes as she lurched forward, hurling one of her needles at his side. “Making me have to close their cocoons up a second time. Making me have to capture you again.” Channeling the fury she could not express into her actions, Rose tugged on her yarn, pulling another needle up in anticipation of pinning John's tongue to his mouth.

To her shock, Rose instead found that for the first time since she created it, her magic yarn was failing her. Egbert stood strong, his hammer wedged against the ground and his face drawn tense in pain, his wounded arm holding the pin into his flesh. Rose had cut herself with her new needles, once, and it had taken the better part of a week of changing the bandage regularly until the bleeding stopped. Damn him, didn't he understand that this had to be done?!

“Did you…seriously expect me not to try anything?” John managed a silly little grin as the tug of war continued; fell energy crackled along the twine, occasionally arcing at John only to be absorbed by his thaumaconductive gauntlet armor. “My stubborn streak's what got us into this mess, isn't it? I mean, if I had just trusted Jade's instincts instead of believing you when you said everything was okay…”

“You would have just forced my hand!” Rose snapped, finally unable to keep the furious pain out of her voice. Her bond to the wands would not let the sudden weakness in her limbs stop her from doing the will of the gods, however, causing her body to buckle and shudder under the pressure of it all. “Don't you get it, Egbert?! There's a reason I grew up the way I did…I was lost before we even entered the game! The gods helped us survive because they knew it would come to this, that the power of Skaia would ripen and bloat inside of us until we were the perfect sacrifices…”

“And what.” John was suddenly cold, looking for any kind of reaction on Lalonde's face. “You get spared if you keep getting them better meals? That our whole friendship, that everything we've been through was nothing but a set up so we could play entrée for the things that've been hurting you your whole life?!”

The silence was damning as Rose looked at her feet in shame. John exhaled a sharp breath and brought his hammer up, slamming it into the ground with uncharacteristic speed and tugging at the same second. The result was Rose bouncing in the air for a second before being dragged towards her friend, her eyes widening a heartbeat before the heavy brass handle of the Heir's weapon smashed into her face. Before Lalonde could react, she felt an agonizing weight against her left side as the steam heated iron head dislocated her shoulder. Rose could feel the bone shattering and despite it all could not quite swallow a cry of shock and heartbreak at John finally putting his all into this fight.

“Aaah!” Rose exclaimed again as her kneecaps exploded in pain; she had only noticed the shadow of John's leaping smash before impact, her senses and reflexes dulled by pain, exhaustion, hunger, and regret. He's really going to do it, Rose tried scrambling back and getting some sort of better footing as her thoughts slowly floated above the fight from the haze of pain and heartbreak. John loomed over her like a vengeful mountain, his expression somber as he readied his hammer for the final blow; their eyes locked, and Rose saw an ocean of emotions unable to entirely crystallize. What John saw made him hesitate, quaver in his righteous fury, and for a second, they were just two teenagers in way over their heads, staring at each other and wondering how it could all come to this.

Then Rose's second needle stabbed John Egbert in the throat, and her powerful legs sprung her up into the air, allowing Rose to smash both of her knees into John's shoulders and topple his weight over. Cold black eyes bored into the electronic visor that protected John from the world, and silky smooth fingers traced nonsensical shapes along his protesting cheek. Rose's needles returned to her with a thought and a flick of the wrist, and John bit his tongue to keep from giving Lalonde the satisfaction of a scream of pain as she pinned him to the wall.

“Rose…” John wheezed, coughing on his own blood as he struggled feebly against the resurgent witch silk. “…s a lie…”

“Yes.” Rose replied, flicking her wrist twice. John's blankets fell off, and Rose's lips curled into a sneer. “Really, John?”

“Nnno...the…squiddies…” John rasped, hoping against hope that she would understand. He shouldn't have waited, he got stupid and cocky again! “…this…innt…you…â� �

Rose was by the red cocoon, running her hand over what appeared to be a cheap puppet of Dave. “I don't know how you did it, John, but it was a waste of your remarkable talents. I am still the Seer of Light, and any disguise is still lousy to me.” Rose slapped the wooden Dave's cheek, smirking at the wince on John's face as confirmation of what her supernal senses told her. “What, you thought I would run off and search the planet for two runaways who were right here? And you three would have discovered some way of ‘freeing' me while I was distracted, I presume?”

Half a dozen black spiders, each the size of a small dog, made themselves known. Three crawled up John's legs, seemingly guarding the Heir while the others attended to resealing the cocoon. “It was a mistake.” Rose practically purred, stepping over to run another finger along John's cheek. “Assuming the gods did not provide me with some assistance for my sacred task. It wouldn't have worked anyway. But since you're feeling so…” The look on Rose's face made a guilty part of John shudder, “…feisty, I think I am going to change my plans.”

Sauntering back to the red cocoon, Rose let her lips twist into what would have been a rather attractive smile on a face less psychotic, and shoved.

“No. NO!” John surged forward, ignoring the spider bites but unable to break the grip of the thorns. “Rose, damn it, NO!”

“I'm going to make you watch, dear…”

About a block away, hidden securely in the dumpster behind a Midnite Munchies convenience store, Dave Strider repressed a wild shudder. The screaming painted a bad enough picture, but Knighthood of Time meant a certain bond with all the other possible knights of time; it wasn't quite as bad as when he found the still cooling body of an alternate Dave Strider, but the sympathetic pains were more than enough to throw the coolest guy in the world off of his game. For a second. If anything, Dave argued furiously with himself as he rubbed his fingers together to get the feeling back in them, the moment of weakness just made him somehow more awesome, since he doubted any of his scrub friends would recover from such a shock as swiftly.

Which brought things back to Jade. Damn it. They had been sloppy, careless, and it might have gotten one of them killed. One argument…John and Jade did the whole stereotypical bickering brother and sister thing far less than himself and Lalonde, but, in Dave's opinion, they made up for a lack of quantity with the sheer potency of dumpass both could exhibit when angry enough. So it was not a unique occurrence, to hear John and Jade shouting at each other with sudden and unexpected passion, resulting in one of the two storming out of the room and swearing not to talk to the other ever again. It was not rare for the friend in question to stay away from their communal hacienda for a day or two, and by the time either boy had gotten worried about Jade it had already been too late.

Before he could think better of it, Dave found himself brushing the hair out of Jade's eyes. It would be nice, Strider thought to himself, tensing up as he heard a bang outside and covering Jade's mouth, if she didn't snore so loudly. After a heart stopping minute of silence, Dave finally allowed himself to relax, leaning against the side of the dumpster and breathing slowly out of his nose. Egbert's big plan had better work, Dave thought to himself, perking his ears up again just in case and barely keeping from yelping out at the sudden warm, wet feeling on the palm of his hand. Looking over at Jade, he saw that there had been a subtle change in her facial features, being that the Witch of Space was doing her very best not to start giggling loudly enough to ruin her game. Then she did it again.

“Bluh!” Dave snapped in as much of a whisper as he could manage, waving his hand wildly and looking irritated at Harley. “Damn it, woman, what was that all about?!”

“I couldn't breathe.” Jade managed, and Dave realized she was not as strong as she was acting just through the inflection of her voice. “And…it was nicer than biting you?” She was embarrassed, not so much of her own eccentricity than its bad habit of popping out when her friends were least likely to appreciate it. A sudden shifting in weight made Jade feel dizzy and ill, and she couldn't help but wonder if Dave was just too mad to yell at her. “…I can get up myself…”

“Shut up.” Dave groused, unable to work up a good, honest heap of vitriol in spite of the circumstances as he gently moved Jade to a sitting position, checking her pulse, forehead, and eyes. “You're just lucky the flighty broad stole my John-proof gloves. Here.” He shoved a candy bar into her hands, leaning against the dumpster side with a huff.

Jade tore into the first piece of food she had seen in a week like she was raised by wolves or something, daintily placing the wrapper down by others like it and then wobbling a little while she realized something. “…John. Is he? Did he?” She couldn't quite say it; she hated when she and John fought, because below the brilliant Witch and independent young woman was a frightened girl who's only family had left one day and never came back once already.

“…he's with Lalonde.” Dave looked away, unable to entirely face the shame of abandoning his friend, even on orders. “Had some plan, said it'd help everybody.” A slight pause and Dave sighed, resigning himself to his fate as the emotional bitch of a magical disabled girl. “He told me to tell you how sorry he was. And that he loves you. Or something, I stopped paying attention when he actually started menstruating…hey, leggo!”

Jade didn't, wrapping her arms a little tighter around Dave's neck as she sobbed; relief, fear, anxiety, regret, guilt, anger, frustration, and shame had been stewing in her guts the whole hellish imprisonment. She felt Dave reluctantly pat her shoulder and smiled to herself as she sniffled, using Strider's beloved felt vest as a handkerchief as the emotions poured out. Practically, she argued to herself, she'd need to be together in order to help, and that meant getting this stuff out now. It was a lie, but enough of one that Jade could justify Dave's discomfort, if only for a while. “…Dave?”

“…yeah?” Some emotion she couldn't place made his voice all husky and weird. She'd get him some cough syrup if they all survived.

“Could we get another candy bar, please?”

Wheezing, John looked up from his prison. Rose's vindictive side had thrown a spanner in the works, that had to be admitted. He couldn't warn the others directly without giving things away, and he couldn't escape without the others, which meant that he was probably going to be fed to whatever the hell was in reality's basement. Still, it didn't do any good to moan about it. John knew a lot of this was his fault, again, and he had to be ready to pay the consequences for the sake of the others. Would it hurt?, John thought as he struggled to keep still.

The effort was useless; John felt soft fingers cup his chin and brush his cheek with a tenderness that would have led to his making a total ass of himself just a few days ago. “You cannot hide from me, John.” Rose whispered, fully drunk on the influence of her adoring tormentors. “Already healed. Did you know how fascinating your remarkable constitution was? The most interesting things would occur to a busy mind…”

“Stop it.” John finally spoke, meeting those mad eyes defiantly. “Damn it Rose, you just dropped your brother off of a planet!” She had been oddly quiet since shoving the red cocoon to its fate, and John had dared hope the shock of it had brought Rose to her senses. “Do you even know where that goes?! Have you taken even a second to question where these voices and urges are coming from?!”

“That's how they won, you know. They opened my mind to the way you and the others really feel about me, made me feel the contempt, the resentment, the fear.” Rose rested her cheek on his, and part of John could swear he felt moisture running from her eye. Then she started twisting the thorns, and all John could feel was agony. “You should not have pretended, Egbert.” Rose continued with merciless calm, “I would have forgiven anything else. Well, that is, perhaps, a lie, but you would not have to share my fate.”

“Rose…” John wheezed, feeling his vision blur as his insides rebelled at the stimulation, “…please, just listen…”

“But thank you.” Rose interrupted him with the ferocity of a shout, pulling back and smiling with disgusting contentment. “Deep down, I wanted someone to have to watch with me. You always were thoughtful in the oddest way, John. David is one with the Moist Beyondhood, now. He will live on as a fragment in the mind of the gods. There are worse fates, John. He will not be alone.”

And with that, Rose pulled her yarn; threads twitched and tugged, and the great green coffin teetered and fell over into the nothingness surrounding Derse. John cried out over costing Jade Harley her life a second time, over his continued failure as a leader and friend, but most of all over the tears in Rose Lalonde's eyes and the sick, content little smile on her lips. She looked ashamed and relieved, an addict falling off the wagon and feeling the bliss of oblivion.

“Ohmygosh!” Jade Harley squealed, grabbing Dave Strider by the shoulders and spinning him around. “Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave!”

“I'm!” Spin. “Right!” Spin. “Here!” Spin!

“I know, but we look so COOL! I still don't get why John's plan said we needed these disguises but seriously, wow!” The pair were decked out in freshly borrowed Dersian clothes; Dave had on a modest suit with a rain slicker made of a slice of midnight and topped off with a straw boater weaved from the navy blue grass that grew outside of the stables where the Fear Steeds were raised and trained, while Jade wore a modest slip, go go boots, a purple shawl that wrapped around her head and shoulders, and a pair of sunglasses that Audrey Hepburn once had a nightmare about. “We look like we should be going to a movie premiere or backing up Emma Peel!”

“I don't have an umbrella.” Dave muttered, adjusting his hat and rolling his eyes at the snickers of the other patrons in the shop. Fortunately they were not in the part of Derse where people saw any sort of enthusiasm as a threat; here it was just embarrassing. “Come on, we've got to go.”

“I thought you didn't watch tv!” Jade enthused, letting Dave lead her towards the door so she could focus on making sure the miniature purse that came with her disguise could fit the magnum she kept on her person for emergencies. “One of these days you're going to stop holding out on me, Strider.”

“It was the only way to keep John from making me watch his collection of Ghostbusters cartoons with him.” Dave argued lamely, boldly ignoring the insinuation from Miss Cheerful And Innocent Except For When She Feels Like It and checking the alleyway for danger. There were always alleyways, and always traps, ambushes, and other staples of Dersian life, the key to safe navigation being to make sure that you are not the one the danger is intended for. Dave tossed a spare alarm clock he kept for just such an occasion down the path, listened for the ticking to stop and grabbed Jade's arm, rushing forward and past a very confused mugger who was trying to find where the old clock kept its wallet.

“I never knew Derse was so pretty.” Jade observed in that irritatingly sincere way of hers. Of course she could find the beauty in a crime infested rat's nest; it was the sudden halting of her relentless nonsense that actually worried Dave. “…is that…”

Dave felt his customary frown deepen into a scowl. “Fits Egbert's description.” This was something of an understatement, which was new territory for Dave. The machine was about the size of an old fashioned phone booth on Earth, monolithic in density and rectangular in shape. Pitch black, with faint purple and blue cysts showing that something was going on underneath the carapace, the whole of the machine seemed to pulse faintly, beating like a diseased organ intent on spreading its contagion as far as possible. “What does your voodoo thing say?”

Jade slapped Dave on the shoulder half heartedly, repeating, “That stuff isn't real, this is just science!” and pulling the Magic 8-Auger out of her purse. Shaking it a little, Jade looked into the 8-ball shaped device and felt the blue die inside of it attaching to her Oracle Specks; the spatial composition of anywhere this close to the heart of Derse was tricky on a good day, let alone the one Jade had been having, and it took her a few minutes to confirm. “This thing is broadcasting something at 1025 megahertz. I can't quite make it out…”

“And that seeps into human brains?” Dave could not help but ask, despite feeling like the ditzy assistant on Beakman's World. Most of his attention was paid to the surrounding exits. Derse's alleyways tended to shift and rearrange themselves at the most inconvenient times, and it was never wise to take your eyes entirely off of the way back to the main road. “That's what pushed Rose out of ‘refreshingly creepy' and straight up into ‘Lovecraft villain'sville?”

“I'm not an expert on how this kind of technology interacts with living tissue.” Jade cautioned, though it was something of a lie. She was the most scientifically adept person Dave knew, and chewed up John's hesitant theorizing like it were one of those artificially softened granola bars that practically came premasticated. That's a good word, Dave thought, premasticated, struggling to focus on the torrent of technobabble. “…but I think it works like a displacement matrix, irritating the brain's ability to monitor its neurotransmitter production while overriding individual synapses, allowing it to effectively induce the brain chemistry it wants to have. While this is far from ‘mind control' it certainly would explain why certain, ah, tendencies someone has might suddenly be taken to an extreme…”

“You mean Rosie trying to feed us to her imaginary friends.” Dave simplified cruelly, regretting it the instant he saw the hurt on Jade's face.

It was gone before he could think of an apology, “You know she hates that name.” Jade replied, navigating through the torrid waters of discouragement with the enthusiasm she showed for every other insane thing she did every second of the day. “Now stop looking over your shoulder and help me up!”

Shaking his head but kneeling down to give Jade a boost anyway, Dave forced his eyes to stay on his shoes. They were nice shoes. “We're not just going to break this thing?”

“No, that might drive Rose irreparably insane.” Jade paused at her unintentional irony, scowled at herself, and tugged a massive artery of a wire out of one plug and forced it into another. “I've already isolated the soundwaves so that this can't happen again, but we need to ease her back into her normal condition.”

Dave tried to will some moisture in his mouth before he realized something. “Wait, how do you know what her brain chemistry should be?”

There was a pause, before Jade giggled nervously. “Well, uh, remember that time I took some blood from everybody…? Well, it wasn't just to make sure you guys weren't allergic to the alien medicine we've been able to find…” Another moment of discomfort, as lights switched and sacks of fluid throbbed. “…anyway, what's a little spinal fluid between friends!”

“What?!” Dave looked up, shocked, blushed, looked down, noticed the spider the size of a Saint Benard patiently waiting to be recognized, looked up again, and proceeded to shove Jade off of his shoulders.

“D-dave?!” Jade called out, gripping onto a cord like some kind of silly koala girl. “Is this really the time?!” Flustered, confused, and regretting that third candy bar, Jade looked up to see her dear friend desperately using a trash can lid to keep a giant black and red spider from biting his head off. Phew, Jade thought to herself, bullet dodged; she pulled her pistol out, aimed, and fired, exoskeleton exploding as one of the monster's legs became entirely less so.

“Fix the dingus!” Dave snapped, whipping the trash can lid into the air and sticking the sharpened lid into the spider's face with practiced ease. Years of teamwork demanded Dave leap into the air, kick off of the side of the lid not full of arachnid and kick off of it, giving him some distance from the monster and cutting its head in two, causing the ungainly thing to buckle, bubble, and finally collapse into a protesting pile of oozing remnants. But he didn't have to be happy, damn it. “John can't keep Lalonde talking forever! And never tell her I said that!”

Jade rolled her eyes, gave the Knight a thumbs up, and turned around, trying to ignore a shiver of revulsion as the other three spiders closed in on Dave. She had a job to do.

“How are you feeling now?” Rose would not risk closing the distance between Egbert and herself again. Even restrained, even broken, even two thirds of the way to victory, John was dangerous. In fact, John was the most dangerous when everything had gone against him; she had seen evils that numbed her senses and shattered her invincible cool defeated by the stubborn persistence of a goofy kid with a glorified pogo stick. “Is there still a way out? Can I still be fixed, John?” Rose did not care if she was the one to make John Egbert finally give up. He only had to be in the right mental state to please the palette of the gods. “It's the end of the world, John. And I know Harley always was your favorite.”

“If you…wanted me alone, Rose, all you had to do was ask.” John joked pathetically, unable to keep the despair out of his voice. His chest rose and fell raggedly, having to struggle against the ever tightening twine for each gasp of breath.

Rose seemed unaffected. “We were always a little awkward, Jade and I. Maybe it was an alpha female thing. Maybe I was just afraid all the nonsense she spouted would start to make sense if I listened too closely. I may be evil, John, but I do not throw my friends into the mouth of a lion with a giggle and a grin.” Indeed, her expression was colder than a snowed in grave.

“You loved…her too.” John managed, the lip of the pit coming closer and closer. Rose had the decency to push his tomb to the edge herself, but somehow he could not find any gratitude in his soul for this small mercy. “You…only get…upset…when you…care…”

“She never asked me why.” Rose ignored these painful truths, the end finally in sight. It could all just end, finally. “I think she knew, the whole time. And said nothing because my power was needed to fulfill her plans.”

John shook his head at this painfully plausible scenario. “Rose, what are you even going to do after this? Where are you going to go? How are you going to live? You haven't thought this through!”

“Scream, I suppose.” They were at the edge, now. I tried, John thought to himself, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. I really did try. “It will be an involuntary reaction after some time.”

“What?!” John opened his eyes, and felt a pair of arms wrap around his chest.

“You were one of the only people in my life to consistently try to assure me that I was not alone in the world.” Rose said, and for a moment she sounded like her old self; or rather, like the shy, unsure girl her old self had hidden behind poetry and sarcasm. “Thank you.” Powerful leg muscles pushed, and Heir and Seer tumbled down into nothingness.

“Got it!” Jade crowed in triumph, wiping fluorescent blue bile off of her face and grinning down at Dave for approval. “-are you still playing with them?!”

“Playing?!” Dave moaned, waist deep in spider guts and bound by horrible acidic webbing. The last living spider looked up, possibly to protest as well, before a bullet split its brain case open.

Jade Harley landed with a totally unnecessary flip, which is to say she tried to do a cool somersault, hit a juicy piece of what used to be a feeler, and fell flat on her rear end. All and all, it was one of her better landings, and Dave had the good grace not to say so. “wheeeee.”

“Come on.” Dave barked gruffly, hefting the girl up and supporting her with his shoulders. “Before whatever built this thing figures out we broke it.” The Knight plowed forward, closing his eyes and following an image of himself an hour in the future, when he walked the fastest route from this part of the alley to Rose's lair.

“So coooooool.” Jade trilled, seeing the glowing red flash of Future Dave and indulging in a giggle. It was all going to be okay! They'd get to the alley, John and Rose would be there and they'd all be a family again and maybe they'd sing a song about it all! And in Jade's defense, they very definitely got to the alley.

“…nrgh.” Dave panted, leaning against the wall. “Jade, you see ‘em?” Jade was holding her hands to her open mouth, and her silence spoke volumes. Exhausting bubbling away, Dave disbelievingly stepped forward, slapping his head with his hand. “…that's just not fair.”

“Too slow.” Jade croaked, burying her head in Dave's rainslick, “Oh God Dave, what're we going to do?”

“…ah…” Dave couldn't manage the words, wrapping an arm around Jade out of instinct while staring open mouthed at the gap in the universe where his stupid friends should be standing there smiling their moron faces off. “…I don't know, Jade…”

“…you could give us a hand!” The voice of a dead man rang out. Jade and Dave looked at each other, almost daring to hope, and ran to the edge of the universe. A packet of Ultra Adhesive Orange gushers was crushed, the ensuing goop holding a spidery lash of yarn to the side. Below, a cautiously happy looking John Egbert, who wiggled his feet in greeting because his other hand was holding onto a pale faced Rose Lalonde, who looked like she had survived a week long bender and just now seen the bill. “…good news!” John chirped, “The intangibility cufflink works!”

About an hour later, the four friends stood in front of the shimmering purple portal that led back to the impromptu shack in the veil they were calling home. Cautious triumph filled the air, as Rose had yet to say much of anything, simply refusing to let go of John's hand for the duration of the trip back. Jade fretted, Dave scowled, and John tried to beat Rose's guilt into submission with an explanation. “…so, see, it wasn't even the voices you guys hear on Derse. That was just how your mind rationalized what was going on.”

“…I should go.” Rose finally said, “I…clearly I am more dangerous than I thought possible. This should not have happened. It will not happen again. I…thank you, thank you all so much, but…” She looked up, expecting a fight, reluctant understanding, maybe even quiet pleasure at being rid of her. She did not expect Dave Strider's fingers to grab her ear and tug viciously.

“This.” Dave continued in a surprisingly Harleyesque tone, “Is how this shit all got started. I'm the only one who hasn't done some stupid clever plan this week, so someone hand me a cigar and drugged glass of milk cause there's a new Hannibal in charge. We are going to go home, we are going to sit on the couch and we are going to watch one of those God awful cartoons John saved from when he was a six year old baby and share a giant fucking bowl of popcorn and it'll be so heartwarming Randy Newman music'll start playing in the background and we'll turn around and oh shit, there he is on the piano banging out love and off key wailing.”

“…wait a second.” John held a finger up, “I thought you didn't watch tv!”

“Popcorn bitches don't talk back.” Dave replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Who said I was the popcorn bitch?!” John stumbled, glaring at Jade's attempt to repress her giggles.

“You did, Eggy.” Dave smirked a little, and as she was safe, and wanted, and surrounded by the people she cared about most in the world, Rose Lalonde couldn't help it. She started laughing. It was good to be home.

Lotus, I thought I had reviewed part 4, I'm sorry. I really dug it. I kind of wish Shadow Rose had been built up over, like, several stories, but otherwise it is a really cool resolution.

[Solaris]

Okay that was awesome.
I was really fearful for everyone and I would most definitely re-read it.

[Tenebrais]

Agreed. Great work, DocBeard.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

That seriously was great DocBeard. You write so well

Edit: Honestly, I just love everything with Rose in the entire series; the 'final part' really brings crazy Rose back home.

Edit2: Oh, and I should honestly rework my entire story (still need a name for it too I guess. (Uh... "Every Rose has its thorns?")). I'd rework a lot of it; especially part 1. I'd throw out the entire "John is worth it" thing for part 1 and probably flesh out the Shadow Rose stuff more. Would really love to work in more stuff with the cold/warm metaphor too. Kinda tried to make it a "cold = loneliness : warmth = risk" thing in the end but it should be redone and reworked. With something out there though it just doesn't seem like fun to go over it all again and rewrite tons of stuff I guess.

[Solaris]

The Underside of the Rose?

And you shouldn't just go back and re-write stuff unless you have a really good reason too. If you did that with you increasingly lengthy fic, we'd be here for a while.

[DocBeard]

Shucks.

As far as your work, goes, I think that if you want to repurpose the beginning you certainly could. Remember that you wrote the first chapter as a one shot that you expanded on; you have more room to work that stuff into the story. For what its worth, "John is worth it." is a really good line. Maybe save that for the end.

Its your call, honestly. Revising forever is a dangerous trap for a writer, but you shouldn't be afraid to spruce up old work either. Its a tricky balance to maintain!

[conceptofzero]

Hey guys, I wrote another fic. It's called Sessions, it's about pg/pg-13 for some cussing and offscreen violence, and you can read it over here on livejournal. It's about all the exiles in various AU's, and it's a bit heavy on the Midnight Crew/Snowman as an FYI. The first bit is under the cut so you can decide if you want to continue reading.

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Wands Ville never gets tired of the ocean.

He knows he probably should. Everybody else seems to get tired of it. Mass often willingly volunteers to take shifts in the crow's nest, just so she can search for land. Rozz locks himself up in the hold with the munitions and... organizes them. Or something. Ville gives him a wide berth when he's like that. Quinze never says anything, but she spends her time looking at maps and calculating where they are, or might be.

Ville should get tired. But he never does. There's something about the ocean that's just soothing. Even when it's doing it's best to tip the ship and drown the whole crew, he feels good. Terrified and certain that his life will end at any moment, but still good.

Maybe it's because the sea is equal. It doesn't care who you are, if you're a merchant or a pirate, rich or poor, white or black. It doesn't care for arguments or kings, or royal decrees. The sea does what it wants. The wind comes and goes at it pleases, and nobody can make it come back, or exile it for disobeying. It just. Is.

"Captain!" Pentacles Masse calls from the crow's nest. "Land ho!"

Ville locks the wheel into place, draws out his telescope and looks to the east, following Masse's pointing hand. It's just at the edge of the horizon, but there it is, land ho indeed. About right where the map said it would be, more or less. If the wind stays in their sails, they'll be there before nightfall.

Wines Quinze comes up onto the bridge, carrying a map in her hands. Ville hands her his telescope, taking the wheel again. It pulls in his hand gently, reminding him of the winds and the ocean current beneath them.

The navigator sights the island for herself. She seems content when she hands the telescope back, rolling the map out, "There's a cove on the east side of the island." Her long white fingers trace the entrance, "It should be more than deep enough for the ship."

"Sounds fine. I'll bring her around." Ville keeps the ship on her steady course. Once they're closer, he'll adjust and take them to the cove. They'll drop anchor and camp on the beach, and in the morning they'll take Quinze's map and head inland to find treasure. That'll be good.

Not as good as standing at the helm, sailing on the sea, but there are few things in life as good as this.



continue reading on livejournal

[Valter]

Fun concept! There are some tense changes (present to past tense) that I've spotted, though. Mostly in the story five.

Let me give it a shot:

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11.

Spades Slick cut down the last of his opponents, and let out a sigh. It felt like he had been fighting for days, and yet from the sun's position in the sky he knew it had only been an hour at most. The "thirty greatest gladiators in the realm" lay dead around him, having all been slain by his hand.

He looked up at Snowman, who was sitting on her throne in the single shaded podium overlooking the arena. Slick longed for the day when he could look down on her as she fought for her life. His men were spread throughout the empire, sowing the seeds of discord. Snowman's empire would come crashing down around her head, and he would walk away from the ordeal a free man. Before he could make good his plans for escape, though, he first had to survive the Colosseum, and he was sure that Snowman had more in store for him.

Better to get them over with sooner than later, at any rate. Slick leveled his sword at Snowman and let his voice carry throughout the Colosseum. "Am I truly to believe that this the best you've got, Empress? I came here to make battle, and the buffoons you have sent against me leave me sorely dissatisfied!"

A ripple ran through the audience at his provocative statements, but Snowman was not particularly impressed with his bravado. Irritated, perhaps, at the loss of her finest stock of warriors, but certainly not impressed.

She could just have him murdered, she supposed. He was an awfully rowdy prisoner, and he was much more powerful than she had originally accounted for. Just let him walk of the field, and then poison his food the night after.

She wouldn't ever let it end that way, though. No, she didn't just want him dead. She wanted him broken. Only after she had shattered his ego could she claim true victory, and that meant killing him while everybody looked on, not while he was alone in his cell.

So instead, she adjusted the crown of laurel on her head, straightened her toga, and leaned forward to the disgruntled warrior in the pit. "I'm no one trick pony, Slick. You'll not leave this arena disappointed. I promise.

"Release the beasts! All of them!"

Gates clattered open one by one all the way around the arena, and a cacophony of growls erupted from behind them. Spade Slick wiped the sweat from his brow, tightened the grip on his sword, and gulped. A long day of fighting lay ahead of him.

[NewMars]

Not quite sure if this belongs here, it's something I'm working on from an aborted Homestuck RP, because I really liked the characters and ideas that came up for it, and I'd hate to waste them.

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As you may or may not know, on the 13th of April, 2009 four young heroes embarked on a great and strange journey. On this journey, they would experience the wonders of the mysterious SBURB, a game, nigh indescribable in it's vastness as it encompasses mysterious inner worlds, vast and mighty foes, truths both horrifying, liberating and just plain weird. As they played this game, they came to, through methods unforeseen, shatter it, and carve their own way ahead through it's form, now near unrecognizable because of their meddling, and at the end... well now, that would be telling.

This is not their story. This is the tale of Seven youths whose journey, while it may seem similar to the casual eye, shall diverge from theirs in an uncountable multitude of ways, leading to a conclusion that must be seen to be believed. That aside, odd and unfamiliar as it may be, it is time for this story to begin.

HouseCaught P.1

midasTitan[/color], winner of the least appropriate color for their name six years running, and generally annoying in that special sort of way that makes you sooo coool, bro. He really didn't feel like talking to him at the best of times, and now was the best of times, being his birthday and all, so he might as well give him a friendly chat anyway.

Pesterlog:midasTitan began pestering temporalTechnocrat

MT:hey man, where you at? so i hear's its like your birthday and all, an i was wondering if my present got there in time?
MTh, and once again, thanks for the present man, howd you know i wanted that matrix guys shades so bad?
TT:Here I am already, just stop that HEY HEY ARE YOU THERE train thing you got going.
huh? what you going on about?
TT:....Never mind. I'm not quite sure I get it myself.
TT:Anyway, glad you appreciate the KENU SHADES. Funny story about that, see, I wanted to get you some cool STILLER SHADES, but SOME JACKASS had already brought them before me.
MTh really? man, i don't want no stiller shades, seein as they must have had stillers odd, kinda gaunt face in contact with them at some point and that just gives me the shivers man
TT:So, everythings worked out for the best. About your present though, I'm sure it has arrived, however, I am trying to stay out of the way of ADMIRAL GAIA today, and as such I do not plan to leave my room until the beta for SBURB has arrived.
MTh that thing, see i don't get what is supposed to be so great about it, but thats just me man and personally, i dont see why you gotta disrespect your old man so much, i mean he seems pretty cool to me, like sorta east asian ninja type guy, but i gotta go now man my neph is going all crazy with that damn whirlamagig again

midasTitan ceased pestering temporalTechnocrat
TT:I still don't get how he can be older then you. GAH. Too slow again.

So, what do you guys think?

EDIT: Part 2
Part 3

[Orange]

Well this took me longer than expected, but here it is.

Tale of Archane: Final Round.

BY GOD'S BOLLOCKS. That was pretty badass, really. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Especially Dave's rant.

Part two of that fanfic where Rose becomes Jack's therapist! This one wasn't as fun to write because there's no Jack in it.

Linking to part one, for convenience's sake. viewtopic.php?p=931283#p931283

Unhinged - part 2

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It wasn't until she opened her eyes to find herself plummeting towards the shimmering, soap-bubble waters of Lolar at terminal velocity that Rose realized she'd never had much sympathy for Jade Harley's condition. Admittedly, she knew very little about narcolepsy other than the apparent inconvenience it tended to cause. But if she were to make a list of places she'd rather not fall asleep, Rose Lalonde had to admit that speeding across an alien world in a sphere of arcane magic would probably be near the top.

Even with the rainbow waters rapidly approaching, Rose didn't bother to panic. Fumbling with her sylladex, she calmly retrieved the Thorns of Oglogoth and summoned up another sphere. With a mighty splash she hit the water, occult sphere and all, and bobbed gently to the surface, safely suspended within the dark globe.

"Well. That was-"

And again it happened. A sharp pain across her throat, like a cold knife being pressed to her skin, just short of drawing blood. It wasn't her pain; it was like trying to dream while somewhere far away someone was pinching and prodding her, trying to wake her up. Her dreamself's pain. And it was putting her to sleep.

Determinedly she jetted off once more, aiming at top speed for the nearest tiny island of barren white sand. The pain spiked and her eyes shut as if some inner switch had been flipped, but even as the magic flickered out Rose's momentum carried her. She struck the water, skipped, and hit the beach at dangerous speeds, leaving a long swatch of tossed-up sand as she skidded to a halt, the right side of her face scraped up and bleeding.

It was enough to wake her, for a few minutes. She'd lost a good chunk of her Health Vital. It didn't concern her at the moment. The advantage to these abstract gaming concepts was that she would still be perfectly functional until the meter ran out completely, and so with a little shake to dislodge the snow-white sand from her hair, she sat up and fired up her hubtopband.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at ??? --

TT: Dave.
TT: I believe my dreamself is in immediate peril. Wake me if my original body follows suit; I may be occupied on Derse for a while.
TT: Are you there?

He didn't respond.

TT: Strider, whatever hilarious shenanigans you're no doubt occupying yourself with, I'd appreciate it if you postponed them long enough to assure me I won't be ambushed by ogres in my sleep.

The pain against her throat twinged sharply again, and Rose caught a flash of the color she liked to call "velvet". Whatever Dave was busy with, Rose pondered irately, it had better be a matter of life or death.

TT: This is rather urgent, you understand.
TT: Answer me, Dave.
TT: Where are y

And then, somewhere in a spindly violet tower looming over the isolated moon of Derse, someone slapped her. Hard.

- - - - - - - - - -

Rose's eyes snapped open to a view of the deep purple ceiling of her dream room, partially obscured by the dark silhouette looming over her and holding a short switchblade to her throat. "She's finally awake."

The four months of excess memories her dreamself possessed thanks to Dave's many tragic excursions with time travel were enough to identify him: the Draconian Dignitary, one of Jack Noir's lackeys. Rose gazed up at him levelly. She knew she should have been frightened, and perhaps Jade or John would have been, in her place, but a quick epiphany of logic kept her calm. They weren't trying to kill her; only to wake her up.

"I wasn't under the impression that you and yours knew about the presence of our dreamselves."

"Two massive towers on the moon aren't exactly easy to miss," Draconian countered, switchblade still at her neck. "The old regime didn't want us to disturb you so soon, out of respect for the rules of the game. The new regime couldn't care less."

"Ah." There really wasn't much more to be said.

"Ask her, Draconian," someone with a slightly higher voice prompted, from just outside of Rose's field of vision. Turning her head to see who it was would have sent the Dignitary's blade slicing into her windpipe, so Rose was content to continue staring at the ceiling.

"You're coming with us for a while," Draconian commanded shortly. "Behave like a good young lady, and we won't hurt you."

"Might I ask where?"

"No."

"Or why?"

"You'll be told."

The girl narrowed her eyes. "I see. And I take it that this mysterious agenda is something you'll need me awake for, or you would have simply spirited me away, still fast asleep. An interrogation, then?" Rose could see the briefest flicker of surprise in the Dersite's expression: she'd gotten something right.

"In a way. You'll be talking to Jack."

"I'll be talking to Jack. Not, 'the Sovereign Slayer wants to talk to you,' but 'you'll be talking to Jack.' You're not operating under his orders."

Another spark of surprise from the Dignitary, and the other, unseen aggressor whispered, "See, she's really good!"

Draconian sighed in irritation.

"No, really!" The largest, most eye-wateringly garish hat that Rose had ever laid eyes on loomed into view, followed by the head that wore it - a squat little Dersite with wide eyes. "She's gonna help Jack, and everything will be fine. Sorry for waking you up like this, Miss tentacleTherapist."

"Help Jack," Rose repeated dully.

"With therapy!"

Rose gave the Draconian Dignitary a skeptical look, which to his credit he returned. "So, for the sake of coherence, you're expecting my dreamself, which you've forcibly kidnapped, to give competent therapy, a profession you believe me to be proficient in due to my internet alias, to Jack Noir, the man who doomed Skaia and serves as a constant threat to the lives of me and my allies."

"Exactly!" said the Courtyard Droll, while Draconian put a hand to where the bridge of his nose should of been, with a look that indicated he'd rather be anywhere other than right here, right now.

"I won't dispute that he needs it. But suppose I refuse?"

"We'll kill you," Draconian answered. "You seem like an intelligent child. I'm surprised you have to ask."

A slight frown crossed Rose's face. "Somehow I doubt you will. If you've stooped to this humiliating last recourse, then I assume you're desperate enough to need me. Furthermore, while I wouldn't relish losing my dreamself, I would persist in living even if it died, and my other body is significantly more powerful and protected."

Droll and Draconian stared at her dumbly.

"So my answer is no," she added, with a tone of mock helpfulness. "And I'd appreciate it if you removed the knife now. I think we're done here."

There was a long moment of motionless silence, and then the Draconian Dignitary straightened up and pocketed his switchblade. Rose got to her feet as well, with as much dignity as possible given the circumstances...

...and saw for the first time the boy who had been tied up and roughly gagged, lying against the far wall and struggling desperately against his too-tight bonds.

"Oh... oh god, Dave!"

Dream-Dave's head snapped up at the sound of his name, and Rose could make out a thin trail of blood running freely down his forehead and streaking his sunglasses. She looked to the Dignitary in shock, and he gazed back at her emotionlessly. "Fair enough. We'll kill him instead."

Rose struggled to regain her composure, but her voice shook just the tiniest bit when she spoke. "That's irrelevant. It's just his dreamself; the real Dave will be fine." She locked eyes with Dave, who gave her a defiant nod. Don't comply, Rose. They've still got nothing on us. Our dreamselves are a nice luxury, but they're expendable. Don't comply.

Draconian nodded, and the switchblade was whipped out again with a snap. Rose swallowed painfully.

"Wait..."

The Dersite, already stepping slowly towards Dave, turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. "Reconsidering?"

She couldn't watch this. Not Dave. For the briefest of moments Rose entertained the thought of leaping forward and knocking the knife out of Draconian's hands, but she knew even as she thought it that the Dignitary was taller and stronger than her, and could probably kill her even without a knife.

"I think... I think I'll humor you." She'd meant to sound cold and indifferent, but she couldn't keep her voice from shaking.

He gave her a sober smile. "You ARE an intelligent girl. Droll, knock the boy out and untie him."

Rose winced as with a thunk, the Courtyard Droll bludgeoned Dave across the back of the head with a thick crook, and the boy slumped to the floor, motionless. "That was a mean trick, Draconian," the little Dersite complained while he undid the knots binding Dave's arms and legs.

"As long as the young lady remembers that we know exactly where to find her friend, she'll do what we say." Draconian put a sharp-fingered hand on Rose's shoulder, with a detached care that implied he'd rather not be touching her.

Beside him Rose stood, silent and shaken, and stared down at the prone body of the closest thing she had to a brother.

- - - - - - - - - -

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at ??? --

TT: Where are y

TG: alright fine that was pretty much the worst experience of my entire life
TG: no hold on
TG: second worst. demoted for not involving puppets
TG: and dont think i didnt see you having some kind of panic attack over there
TG: like some hysterical dame
TG: hysteria meter at maximum
TG: being all hysterical
TG: anyway im awake
TG: ...............
TG: and youre not
TG: so yeah, this is basically just the best day ever over here
TG: cant wait to tell john about this one
TG: "hey john guess who just got kidnapped by jack freaking noir?"
TG: .......................
TG: come on rose
TG: i could take it
TG: i could totally take it

And you.
You are a FANTASTIC writer. You've managed to make Droog an interesting character to me, or at least suitably charismatic, and that's pretty much somethin'.
But really, all the writing in this is fantastic, both this and part one. I do hope you continue this.

[DocBeard]

Thanks, Orange. Personally my favorite Dave line was, "A slight pause and Dave sighed, resigning himself to his fate as the emotional bitch of a magical disabled girl. “He told me to tell you how sorry he was. And that he loves you. Or something, I stopped paying attention when he actually started menstruating…" and I can see why the guy is so addicting to write for.

I am kind of torn on what to write next. I was thinking of another adventure-maybe pull a Gabu and try to look at all of the chums's dark sides-I was going to expand on that thing I wrote for Clockwork Sorrow but it did not really seem to spark.

[conceptofzero]

Fun concept! There are some tense changes (present to past tense) that I've spotted, though. Mostly in the story five.

Bah, thanks for the heads up. I don't know why I have such a hard time keeping my tenses straight. And hey, gladiators, an excellent choice! I'd be happy to see other people take the idea and run with it, since AU's are already quazi-canon to begin with, and there's a lot of AU's out there to run through.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

I uh... thought the art in this post was fantastic. I felt compelled to write a fic to explain it. Here it is..

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Gears. Fucking gears everywhere. It was hard to say what the worst thing about these gears was; that they made it difficult for Dave to get to his second gate or that the constant clink of their meshing teeth served as a reminder. Did John connect to Jade in time? Sure, Dave himself had just barely been able to save Rose. It was some sort of trend; they had all cut it close. But John… No, the thought was pointless to Dave. John had to have connected to Jade in time. The alternative…

Dave slashed through another imp, another obstacle. The imps were almost as bad as those fucking crocodiles at the base of Dave's exit from his first gate. Why did he trust that troll bitch? Sure, she was right about the crocodiles and Dave had just barely saved his skin at the last minute because of her. Still… Dave couldn't help but wonder if he could have gotten to his second gate sooner if he had simply ignored the troll. She seemed rather insistent that Dave should wait; that if John had failed to connect to Jade in time that Dave's second gate would lead to John's planet. Dave didn't give a shit; he had to know if Jade was safe and she hadn't answered any of his pesters.

Up high above a spinning rod, connected by a gear at its base to a line of gears, was the red gate Dave was looking for. The gear path was littered with winged basilisks; hovering over the path-way to escape from the spin of the gears underneath. Dave had largely dodged the spinning sensation of the gears in his rush but he paused as his eyes caught glimpse of the spinning rod. A moment's hesitation and the lower hem of Dave's action pajamas was caught in the teeth of the gear he was standing on as it bit against the edge of another. Fuck; Dave could feel the gears pull at his pajamas. A quick jerk proved the higher craftsman-ship of the pajamas threads; the only viable option of escape to unequip them. Dave could give less than half a shit about his wardrobe; he shoved the pajamas back onto their captchalogue card and jumped from the cusp of the gear. Over and on top of the heads of the basilisks; Dave entered his second gate.

It was lucky for Dave that Jade's house was built on a volcano. What would have been a deadly fall was barely more than an inch; Jade's first gate was actually below the roof of her house. Well, what was left of it anyways. The second gate near Jade's house sat over the top of her roof. The top of Jade's house was slippery; a smooth marble surface which, while Dave appreciated it for its location, proved rather disastrous when it came to staying at its location. Dave quickly slipped off the marble roof and began to plummet. Splotches of green, brown, and blue bombarded Dave as he tumbled to the ground. A quick ‘pchoo' heard in the distance served as Dave's sole warning to his rescue. The tip of a harpoon, perfectly timed, effortlessly thread through the back end of Dave's shirt and out again as it stuck against the rocky backdrop of Jade's mountain. A jolt greeted Dave as the line grew taut. Jade rushed over from the nearby lake, a smile on her face as she waved at Dave.

“Hi Dave!” Jade beamed; a harpoon gun in her hand. As with everything else, Dave was saved at the last minute. Dave clutched the line with his hands to stop from sliding to the mountains behind him. He hung barely more than 8 feet above the ground. Jade placed her harpoon gun away as she slowed herself under where Dave was hanging. A short stop, a brief smile; Jade took out a rifle and shot at the line. Dave came crashing down next to Jade, still rattled from his fall but relieved to see Jade was safe. Face first in the dirt, Dave pushed up with his arms as he brought his legs underneath himself

“God damn it. What the hell are you doing?” Dave asked, “Shit, how many times do you have to give me a heart-attack today? It's like I'm gorging myself on some sort of god damn cheeseburger. Sorry Doctor, I couldn't resist the fucking cheese.” Dave started to brush away the dirt clinging to his shirt; his jeans hung slightly low from his fall.

“I'm sorry Dave but you're the one who came here early” Jade said, her smile slightly faded, “You are ok, right?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Dave said, “And I guess you are too huh?”
“Yep! John just connected with me. It was really scary honestly,” Jade turned her head slightly, “I thought I wasn't going to make it for a while…” Dave shook slightly.
“God damn Egbert,” Dave yelled more to himself than at Jade, “I'm just glad he got his act together; bro needs to get his priorities straight.” Dave turned his head towards Jade.
“I…” Dave continued, still shaking, “I had to know you were safe. I mean, if he hadn't connected in time…”
Jade sprinted towards Dave; her hands quickly finding their way around Dave's shoulders. She pressed herself tightly against Dave, her lips locked on his as Jade closed her eyes. Dave leaned back in surprise before returning the hug.
“It's ok Dave.” Jade said, bring herself back from their kiss and staring into Dave's eyes, “we're both here now.”
Still taken aback, Dave said, “..Y..Yeah… yeah we are.” He laid his head against Jade's shoulders as he brought her in for another hug. “We are.”

[VagabondRaiser]

Wow, found my way over here by way of your crosspost mentioning it, Lotus.
LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT UPON ME.
[PCH00000]
Sooo... I was perusing the Romart thread when something jumped out and thwacked me in the face like a pair of impudent plush buttocks, all kinda jutting out and mindin' its' own business but knowing damn well I couldn't take my eyes off it.

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I still got dem sad ideas bubbling up inside me too~ I've had a half-thought of another idea all day and just haven't committed to thinking it all out. So uh... Huh, I don't know. It feels complicated and a bit of a pain to think out because it'd be a pesterlog as well kinda. Bluh... I'm just gonna spit out the idea; someone else can further refine it. I need to go to bed soon anyways.

BASIC GIST: Davesprite pesters Jade. Assuming Dave had a crush on Jade, how would Davesprite react to

1) Jade is alive again, yay~
2) He... has no chance now and if anything Jade would end up with Dave.

It was just gonna be some sort of

"I'm glad you're still alive..."
"I'm glad you're a birdy!"
stupidness ending with a sad davesprite OR Jade prototyping her sprite with Dream Jade's corpse and creating a Jadesprite for Davesprite. I wasn't sure where to go with the idea and well, this is really messy and half formed. Oh well; that's where my thoughts were going for an idea. Davesprite reacted so badly to John treating him as 'not the real Dave,' how would he react to his crush doing the same, etc...

I can't draw to save my life. My hands refuse to produce what my mind's eye sees; despite being an avid gamer with (to Gamzee my own horn) above-average hand-eye coordination and reflexes, my fingers and hands go 'Nuh!' However, words... words are something I can handle quite well. I've wanted to try my hand at a fanfiction for MSPA for a while, but haven't really had much drive to do it.

Lotus' request, however, is too sad!cute!awesome to be ignored... so I'm doing this.

I'm making it hapen.

Mid-production rant: I wasn't gonna do any Pesterchum-y bits, but I couldn't for the life of me decide between trying to affect their online personalities in a standard chat format (which was giving me fits because of how often they hit the 'Enter' key) or throw their chat formats to the wind and use proper punctuation and spelling, at the expense of 'flavor' (which just felt dull). As such, I'm chunking it down into easy-to-digest segments; this is just 'part 1'. Depending on how well it's received, there may be only a part 2 to follow (which I have partially finished already) or I might just use it as some random springboard thing for two or three more 'AU' ficlets. Regardless, my imagination snatched up the material, beat me in the face with my own keyboard, and ran screaming, waving the idea about in the air and scattering bits and pieces of plot all over the damn place. I'm still picking up the pieces.

So without further ado or me waffling on over my own typing talent (or lack thereof, your milage may vary), I present:

The Impermanence of Wishes (What Could Have Been)

Davesprite: Pester Jade.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade
TG: you there
TG: ...
TG: cmon jade what the hell
TG: this isnt the time for a nap you know
GG: im here....
TG: you ok
TG: youve been quiet for a while
GG: the squiddles broke my fall...
GG: so im fine!!
TG: what
TG: what fall
GG: um....
TG: what the hell happened

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Davesprite refused to flip his shit. His shit would remain unflipped, like shit-eggs sunny side up, with a side of shit-grits and crunchy shit-sausage. Regardless of his sooooo cool demeanor, however, his feathers were still a little ruffled. The idea of something happening to Jade, the only person (to his knowledge) that was an absolutely straight-up un-ironic fan, gave him a chill, one not unlike the feeling of a pair of cold, dead puppet eyes boring into his back.

Waiting.

Watching.

Unblinking.

Shaking the mental image, he turned his attention to the Pesterlog.

---
MOMENTS IN THE PAST... AND ACROSS AN OCEAN...
---
Lying atop a pile of assorted plushies, squiddles, and the mattress of her bed, Jade remained still for a moment, her entire body humming with adrenaline; every conscious thought in her head screamed MOVE but she couldn't get anything to work, and was briefly afraid she had broken something important.

A radioactive flash at her side, however, caused her to snap upright, and Becquerel gave an ethereal, hollow bark, nudging her lunchtop closer to her with his nose. Giving the spacetime-warping demon-dog a hug, she flipped open the lid of her lunchtop; the hologram fizzled, refusing to cooperate, until a well-placed thwack to the side straightened it out.

It seemed, based on the fact that Dave was suddenly the shade of an orange creamsicle on her Pesterchum client, that Davesprite was talking to her.

---
THEN A FEW WORDS HAPPENED THAT WE ALREADY KNOW.
---

GG: well.. i got john to wake up... but he wasnt awake yet so...
TG: so what
TG: what did you do
TG: kiss him
TG: like some ass-backwards sleeping beauty shit or something
GG: no!!!
GG: nothing like that!!
GG: i just...
GG: prospit was going to land on him, so i threw him to the side....
GG: ...my dream self died.... i think it made my dreambot explode.
TG: shit
GG: and it was on top of the tower where my bedroom was
GG: and i was asleep so...


The piece of shit sword extending through his midsection felt as if it had just been pumped slam full of liquid nitrogen, chilling him to the bone as a mental image of Jade (supplied oh-so-thoughtfully by his new status as a Kernelsprite) plummeting from her tower to the ground far, far below flashed in his mind's eye.


GG: dave?
TG: but youre ok right


If he were the superstitious type, Davesprite's fingers would've been crossed. Kernelsprites might not sweat, but he was damn near ready to set a precedent and start sweating bullets. Or maybe swords, shit, he didn't know. Green lit up his eyes behind the iShades and he released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

GG: yeah i'm fine...
GG: i have so many squiddles and other plushies that i really didn't feel anything when it hit
TG: are you sure
TG: dont be lyin to me jade
GG: im not lying!!!! DX DX DX
TG: you said the same thing in the future
GG: future??


Shit. He didn't want to bring that up. Just thinking about it hurt. He had managed to find his way to LoWaS, to John's house, after the botched takedown of the Denizen, and without John's server copy was forced to just watch through a hacked together 'sub-server' clone screen as Jade waited for her inevitable doom beneath a meteor the size of the island.

GG: thats right...
GG: you saw me die in the future.... didn't you?
TG: yeah
TG: right up until the end you kept saying you were fine
TG: like some sorta fuckin badass
TG: just staring down a fucking meteor the size of a moon with your rifle in hand
TG; like you were gonna shoot it and it was gonna go all death star
TG: torpedo down the motherfucking exhaust port
TG: wrap this shit up kid
TG: time to go home and get our medals
TG: none for you fuzzball youre just the copilot
GG: i did?
TG: you were ten
TG: no
TG: a hundred kinds of cool
TG: there wasnt a damn thing i could do but watch and talk to you
TG: but you were smiling
GG: then at least i went out happy!


Davesprite sighed, pressing a hand to his face and rubbing beneath the iShades at his eye. Anyone who might've seen it, might've asked if he was crying, would've got an earful and a 'just somethin in my eye, god damn can't a guy have some privacy' for their trouble. Maybe an agitated CAW if he really flipped his shit, but no, his fecal pile remained undisturbed.

Leaning back on her hands, Jade looked up at the night sky, vestigial fire from the explosion her dreambot caused and stars reflecting on her glasses as a soft breeze played with her touseled hair. Shifting her position a bit, she drew her knees in close and hugged them, playing with the tattered edge of her dress, a frown on her face as she contemplated what to say next; a thought struck, and she unfolded, leaning in to open up the SBURB server window again as Davesprite sent her a message.

TG: at least youre ok though
GG: hehe yeah
GG: hey!!!
GG: youre a birdie!! i can see youuuuu!!!!


A smile crept onto his face at that, and Davesprite waved half-heartedly in the direction he assumed her isometric view from her server copy was (and proceeding to wave in precisely the wrong direction, eliciting a giggle from Jade.) He then flexed his wings, spreading them to their full breadth and doing a single short frontflip, which set Jade to clapping happily.

GG: soooooo cooool
GG: you can fly and do awesome things like shoot lasers now right?
TG: yeah i guess so
GG: did i say anything right before the end?
GG: like something cool


Abruptly, Davesprite flicked his head about, feeling oddly paranoid all of a sudden; like he was being watched by someone other than the raven-haired ball of lively cuteness on the server end of his connection. Save for a few imps that were for the most part doing their damndest to stay away from him, there wasn't anyone around. Not a polo-shirted badass or timespace-transcending puppet in sight.

GG: so no?
TG: no
TG: you said something
GG: but you shook your head!!
TG: i was making sure nobody was gonna come jump me or anything
TG: i mean damn
TG: i may be awesome but i dont got eyes in the back of my head or nothin
GG: hehe
GG: it's OK, I'll watch over you!
TG: thanks
TG: but yeah. you did say something.
GG: :o youre using periods!!
GG: what did i say?


Jade's attention was entirely on the chat prompt by that point; she didn't see Davesprite slump back against the FOAM MUTANT SMUPPET ENCASED IN AMBER, and slide his iShades off, looking up at the sky. She didn't see the tears welling in his eyes, nor him quickly brushing them away before putting the iShades back on. She glanced over in time to see him withdraw into himself a bit; his slumped shoulders, the wispy sprite-tail curled up underneath him and his wings half-folded in, made her think of a bright-colored bird settled on the branch of a tree... albeit one with a sword protruding from it's chest. After a few moments' discomfort while trying to figure out how to handle having the sword there, he grimaced and yanked the sword out, jamming it into the amber next to him and folding his arms over the hole in his chest.

GG: what did i say???
GG: cmon dave i wanna know!!!!
TG: you said you wished we couldve met.
TG: that you wanted to see me face to face.
TG: the meteor wasnt even close enough for things to start heating up and you sat there and just started... talking.
TG: talking about the things you wanted to do with me. the things you wanted to show me.
TG: what you wanted me to show you.


Swallowing the lump in his throat, Davesprite took a deep breath and started explaining one of her first stories, a day in the life of their high-school adventures...

[/PCH00000]
So, yeah.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME I MEAN GOG DAMN I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A FAN FICTION IN ALMOST SIX YEARS FOR THE LOVE OF GPI.

But it felt good writing all that, and the rest too. Although formatting was a bitch. AND, despite the fact that I've completed a grand total of 1 fanfiction out of the like twenty I've started in the past, what with the fact that I never posted them anywhere, I'm hoping that you people being awesome and liking my stuff will be a decent motivator.

Edit: Tweaked it a little, because I'm a dunpass Lotus pointed out that Davesprite actually does have arms. Also, because I cranked all that out in about 30 minutes at just after midnight, and posted it without re-reading it beyond making certain the formatting was right.

I'm fairly certain having a sword sticking through your chest makes leaning against objects uncomfortable. Taking a bit of artistic liberty with the concept (for instance, is it even possible to remove a prototyped Sprite's hat or glasses? What about the seppublade? A certain Jack/Rose romart came to mind, but I'll leave you fine folks to find it).

Also, part 2 is going to be in a slightly different format, but only insofar as there will be little to know Pesterchum involved (y'know, what with school regulations and all that). In essence, it's going to be like a whole bunch of the above, 'cept without the sherbet.

Chapter Two: School High

[Solaris]

I am unable to do that fic justice with words.
Please, I beg of you, continue.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

I really liked that VagabondRaiser! I certainly hope to see a part 2 to it. I think you hit the characters pretty well and the pesterlogs seemed to flow in with the story well. Only thing I could think to change is perhaps a bit of the description for Davesprite. He actually does have arms. He just does the armless pose every time basically.

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Edit: Oh shit, I just had an epiphany. Dream-selves kinda exist outside the timeline, right? If future dream Rose was able to warp in with dream Rose, maybe Dream Jade had some residue left over from future Dream Jade? I dunno; you could almost bring the alternate-reality Jade back to life like that if you went and made a Jade sprite out of Dream Jade's corpse. (who knows if jadesprite would even make sense though. its almost more fun to see davesprite dealing with being left out. Just strapped in and waiting for the ride to continue)

[sarasvati]

I don't even have the time to post but oh my god I have to come in here and squeal and gush and shower praise on Dave/Jade stuff. I will make time damn it

Lotus! I really adored this. I think you captured very well Dave's sort of desperate protection instinct (one of the things I love about the guy), and the way his impulsiveness gets him into trouble. And of course the fact that they are so effing cute together.

Vagabond! You've pulled this together into something simultaneously bittersweet and, well, regular sweet: Davesprite's impeccable facade-maintenance, the showing off for her, and the way she rips open old wounds just by existing. I definitely felt a tug at Davesprite's final pesterlog lines.

I think you should continue! Only instead of two or three parts, it could be, like, a million parts. That would satisfy me, I think.

Also since I'm in an unstoppably rambling mood, here's a pesterlog that I started up for practice/fun when I was writing Stitches, but Vagabond's fic is pretty inspiring so I decided to finish it:

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GG: dave!!!
GG: i guess youre busy right now
GG: thats ok!
GG: im kind of scared but we are all in danger
GG: and whats important is that you make sure you stay safe
GG: so if you are off doing that then good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GG: sometimes you do what is best for other people and not yourself
GG: the game never really picked you to be the knight i think
GG: you picked to be the knight in the game!
GG: you just didnt know it
GG: (stop rolling your eyes!!! gosh you are so stubborn)
GG: anyway
GG: i guess there are some things i want to say
GG: ummmmm................
GG: i always thought it was weird you liked talking to me!
GG: since youre super cool and you like to say im bizarre
GG: but you have been kind of cold :(
GG: and i guess ive always wanted to give you a hug!!!
GG: just to see if it made you feel any better
GG: you seem like you could really use it sometimes
GG: since i know youre not always very confident in yourself and your abilities
GG: but i always mean it when i say i think you are soooooo great
GG: because...you are!! <3
GG: and maybe someday you will even believe that!!! hehehe
GG: hmmmmmm
GG: i guess youre still busy
GG: i really wish we had more time
GG: we wouldve done so much!
GG: grandpa always said id leave the island someday
GG: i guess he was wrong....but thats ok
GG: it just would have been so neat
GG: i think if i could pick anyone to show me the world it would be you!
GG: because i trust you
GG: and things always seem less scary when youre around
GG: i think this is it...........
GG: its getting close now
GG: i dont think i have that much time left
GG: so just one more thing before i go since you really need to hear this!!!!!!!
GG: itll be okay dave
GG: youll fix this
GG: i know youre blaming yourself right now and it isnt your fault
GG: it was never your fault at all
GG: you couldnt have known
GG: but you know now and youll change it
GG: and next time we will have more time together
GG: im sorry youre going to have to go through all this
GG: i wish i could be there
GG: goodbye dave <3 <3 <3

TT: Strider?
TG: leave me the fuck alone
TT: Let's see.
TT: No.
TT: You're free to verbally assault me as you see fit, and I trust you'll take advantage of that. Think nothing of it. My door is open.
TT: But neither of us should be going through this alone.
TG: is that your professional opinion
TT: Yes, it is.
TG: then fuck you
TG: and fuck this
TG: this stupid fucking game
TG: killed the world
TG: killed our friends
TG: whats the next rung on the ladder then
TG: us probably
TG: hell with that
TG: im going back
TG: immediately
TG: my timetables are a burly prison inmate and theyre about to skullfuck this shitty timeline
TG: or at least put me somewhere else
TT: Dave, let's think this through rationally.
TG: rationally
TG: shit lalonde
TG: are you even listening to yourself
TG: whats rational about anything thats happened in the last oh
TG: lets say
TG: twenty seven hours forty one minutes thirty nine seconds
TG: the fact that i can even do that shows you how much rationality means in this shithole
TT: Dave, listen to me.
TT: You're free to wallow in your self-pity all you want. Go ahead. I'll wait.
TT: And when you're finished, you'll think you're an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
TT: We're still alive.
TT: We have an opportunity here, and if you want to go back and change all of this, then we have to seize upon it.
TG: who fucking knows if i even can change it
TG: maybe this was supposed to happen
TG: stable time loop achieved
TG: time to pack up and go the fuck home
TG: oh wait
TT: Right, because lingering on the alternatives is much more productive. Get a hold of yourself, Strider.
TT: This session is lost. We can only work on the assumption that what's done can be undone.
TT: Which means that what matters now is pushing on and gathering data in order to prevent as many mistakes as possible.
TT: And we can only accomplish this effectively if we do this together.
TT: All you need to do is calm down.
TG: dont fucking tell me what to do
TG: seems to me this whole lets not be alone idea kind of banks on me going along with it
TG: which in itself kind of banks on me not telling you to shove it up your pretentious puckered ass
TT: That's fine. Let it out of your system.
TG: shut up
TG: christ
TG: i cant handle this shit rose
TT: Yes, you can.
TT: And not only can you, but you have to.
TG: yeah chokeheld into coping
TG: thatll work like a charm
TG: fuck me
TG: i want to delete her goddamn log but i cant even stop reading it
TT: Wait. Jade's?
TG: she was waiting for me
TG: she needed me
TG: she was scared
TG: and i was off hacking through imps
TG: may as well have been playing with my dick for all the good it did
TG: doesnt even seem important now
TG: good news is she forgives me
TG: bad news is i was fucking afk while she roasted to death which sort of trumps any kind of forgiveness ever
TT: I know you're always loathe to find yourself a candidate for redemption, but I don't think that's how it works.
TG: yeah because youre an expert on absolution
TG: did john preemptively forgive you for not stopping his stupid ass from plowing facefirst into his denizen
TG: guess not
TG: too bad
TG: he mightve actually listened to you
TG: so maybe this is all your fault
TT: Alright. I can see you can't be reasoned with in this state, so I'll leave you two things to think about.
TT: One: Fuck you.
TT: Two: We'll talk again when you're less of an insufferable prick.
TG: whatever

(now if you'll excuse me, I'll be busying myself in the corner catching up on like three weeks of backlogged fic how are you guys so industrious I don't even know.)

edit: went back and added some dialogue to fix a part that didn't make any fucking sense

[Tenebrais]

These fanfics are all beautiful. All of them.

[nextian]

Because it's better than getting dressed. And also because I've been watching a LOT of Avatar.

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"Ugh! Land on the ground!" Toph yells, bringing the earth around her shooting upwards. "Even Twinkletoes touches down occasionally!"

"It's not my fault you don't know how to deal with an Airbender who doesn't cheat," Terezi calls out, and Toph whirls to throw a sheet of rock. She's countered with a tornado. "This is great. I should do this more often!"

"If I leave you with anything to bend with," Toph complains, "you suck at sparring," and she's about to catch this chick in two thick sheets of rock when there's a pressure behind her. She kicks out, throwing the newcomer off-balance. It's another girl, their age, and she's followed by someone who's a little older and about three times as psychopathic. Toph knows that tread.

"Playtime's over," says Azula, who really seriously thinks she sounds impressive like that. "Where's the Avatar?"

"Let me handle this," says the new girl, syrupy sweet, and there's a metal hand on her shoulder. Are you kidding? Toph encases it in rock and takes three careful steps back into a fighting stance.

"Oh, hey, Vriska," says Terezi. "Hi Azula! Are you here to basically get your asses handed to you again? Because I know last time I didn't take enough limbs."

"Please, like I can't take two blind girls," Vriska scoffs. "This is me laughing. Ahahahaha! See? Ridiculous."

"Okay," Toph says, "this is officially really, really annoying."

"Yeah, agreed," says Sokka, dropping from the tree behind her. "Can't you guys ever just show up to kill us without half an hour of monologuing?"

"But I like monologuing," Vriska and Terezi chorus, and Azula laughs.

"It's not just for the pleasure of hearing ourselves talk," the Princess of the Fire Nation says. She snaps her fingers and Toph realizes too late that she missed a few sounds, like for instance the acrobat and the spooky queen of darkness in the trees. They touch lightly to the ground on either side of them. "I think these conversations go better when you're surrounded."

[Summergale]

Huzzah, minific.

Flight

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arachnidsGrip smiled and stepped towards Tavros. The young troll found himself staring into the single eye he could see, unable to look away.
Poor little Tavros. You've always wanted to fly, she tells him. The thoughts simply appear in his mind, but with her voice - that low, persuasive voice. Her bood overpowers his; it always has and it always will. She smiles, sickeningly sweet. There's a cliff behind you. You could fly if you wanted to, little Boy Sky-tard. Her jibes feel like a punch to the gut, but he still can't move.

You want to fly so bad!
He wants to fly so bad. His foot shuffles backwards, the simple sandle dangling free as the foot encounters the edge of the cliff. Fear rises up as Tavros realises he can't control what he's doing anymore. She's laughing now, long and loud and straight in his face. Blue blood prevails over brown. Always has, always will.

She continues to laugh as he attempts to fight it, but his other foot begins to step back. aG smiles as he suddenly whips round, and Tavros can see just how far the drop is. It'll kill him, if he's lucky. If he's unlucky... He doesn't want to think about that. The sand glimmers far below, golden and inviting, maybe he should go down there...
You're going to fly now. Just like you always want to do.

Suddenly he feels himself crouch and spring forward, and there's a feeling of weightlessness before Alternia's gravity kicks in and he begins to fall.

Her laughter rings in his ears. Blue blood over brown.

[VagabondRaiser]

'Raiser' works fine for me, since if memory recalls there's another Vagabond (or two) on the forums.
With that out of the way,
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee I wasn't expecting to get such positive reviews. I only recently found this thread (by 'recently' I mean 'about twenty pages back but never read any of it and then four pages ago proceeded to read almost all of it').

Tenebrais' House Party was one of my favorites (I loved the way you portrayed Rose's viewing of the world) and Sarasvati's Which Yet Survive was the christening of my ride on the Good Ship DavexJade. My slightly unhinged brain wants to retrofit my story to include that pesterchum log you just produced, but that kinda-sorta would invalidate a chunk of the overarcing plot. To be perfectly honest if Andrew just pasted that into an update I'd be none the wiser.

Edit: Oh shit, I just had an epiphany. Dream-selves kinda exist outside the timeline, right? If future dream Rose was able to warp in with dream Rose, maybe Dream Jade had some residue left over from future Dream Jade? I dunno; you could almost bring the alternate-reality Jade back to life like that if you went and made a Jade sprite out of Dream Jade's corpse. (who knows if jadesprite would even make sense though. its almost more fun to see davesprite dealing with being left out. Just strapped in and waiting for the ride to continue)

Have you been reading my brain?

I mean, seriously. Have you? I lost it last night, and found a note inside my skull cavity with 'BACK IN A FEW DAYS' written on it. The last time this happened, I had to go cross-country skiing to get it back.

You have no idea how hard it is to go cross-country skiing in Florida.

[/stupid]
I was actually mildly considering something like that for the finale, but now I'm considering how I could elongate the concept a little so that it would be possible to work that in somehow. Or maybe not. When I write fanfics they usually tend to commandeer my hands for their own nefarious purposes, weaving tales beyond the scope of my imagination by the very virtue of their existence in the fabric of spacetime, alternate universes given purchase in our own nebulous existence by way of the limited breadth of the language humane, that bastardized child of the desire to spread ideas known colloquially as the English language.

Seriously, that was an example of what my hands do to things. I was trying to say something short, to the effect of 'I tend to go wild with the plot without really knowing what the hell I'm doing until I've done it already.'

Expect part 2 to be up sometime tonight or tomorrow, college work notwithstanding. I also kinda sorta reference-posted over in the Romart thread since that was where the idea came from. Thinkin' I'll do what Tenebrais did with his 'fics and edit in links to each consecutive segment, if/when they are made.

[StiqFigurMaster]

pardon my minific.

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Green. Everything's green. It's ALWAYS green. This green guy looks green too. That's probably redundant. Wait, what does redundant mean? Wait, there's one thing that isn't green. That's blue. That hat is blue. I think I'm going to take his hat. Wait, not quite-almost-no-wait... now it's upside down... wait... yes. I have a blue hat... but what am I going to do with this black hat? Oh, well, I suppose that guy doesn't have a hat now... if I can just... perfect. I'm a genius. Oh look a clock. Good clock. Best friend. 987/1000 CLOCKS UNHARMED. Oh wait, that interrogation thing... wait. That's one of those big words. I forget what it means... wait. Oh, right. It's that thing I always do when I'm next to the blue hat guy. Right. The... tor...ture. Yes. Make him talk, they said. Okay. Well. I have this hat. He's always wearing it. So... if I want to exploit this fulcrum most effectively, I must batter his headpiece. ...What did that mean. I have no idea. I think I heard that on TV once. I like TV. Oh right. Well. I guess if I mess with his hat that'll do... something. Okay. Stomping time... Oh look yellow. Yellow everywhere somehow. Yellow is a pretty color. There's also green. Everything's green...

[Several hours of chasing in slow motion and spazzing out later...]

...WHAT BULL PENIS CANE [FEED CUT]

It's probably bad but I always wanted to do a stream of consciousness fic.

[Orange]

@VagabondRaiser:
Holy crap, where the hell-ass did you come from, all up out of the motherfuckin tits woodwork and what not. Gogdamn.

Which is a way of saying that if this is your writing, you should've been here sooner to give your gift of awesome writing to the masses. Good stuff you've got. Love how you wrote Dave, mate.

@Sarasvati:
There you are! Man I wondered where you disappeared off to, what with your talent and all. Not that there's any shortage of that, Summergale, Doc Beard, Lotus and hell, everyone else; loads of good stuff to read. I mean I'm more than a little curious if you've read any of the things I've written since whenever but anyway.

Nice chat log you got there, I'd say. Dave is pretty wracked with guilt and grief there, and it's nice to see him actually lose his all-encompassing cool now and then. You wrote all the characters dead on, at that. Not that big of a surprise, but still.

EDIT:
Actually, between VagabondRaiser and your chat log, Sarasvati, I think I finally have the inspiration I need for the very first idea I even had for a fanfic. I just put it off to write "Darkened", and then got distracted with those characters. But with all the characterization of the Trolls going on I think I can take a break from them until they've been completely defined, or almost so.