MSPA fan-fiction

[breccia]

fanfic review

duly noted on all counts, actually. i started a different karkat/sollux piece earlier than this that's much sadder, and includes Karkat verbally accosting ALL the trolls. Coming up with nicknames to AH's standards is HARD. I definitely gave up on making more for this one. I did write the whole thing this afternoon, but that's not really an excuse... just saying that I am very lazy sometimes.

Haha, circular arguments and overloaded dialogue used to be my forte. And by "forte" I mean "something I overused on every freaking occasion." I'll keep an eye out for it in my next one. Also UGH why is there already a next one. I honestly haven't been in a fandom in 5 years. Wtf are these trolls doing to meeeeeeeeee

This is the single cutest thing I have ever read and you have completely won me over to Karkat/Sollux. When a future alien race finds the ruins of our civilization, they will find my skeleton slumped over my desk, a half-finished gay troll fanfic trailing from the pencil I still clutch. The aliens will probably be a little weirded out, and awkwardly leave my house, promising never to speak of their experience again.

Thanks!! I'm not super happy with the Karkat, to be honest. I'm glad you liked it though! And HOORAY FOR NEW CONVERTS. My work here is complete.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Started work on that massive pesterlog thing I mentioned earlier. Here's a 'preview' as per usual for me (getting frustrated with writer's block and just posting what I got). Not formatted cuz this is really and truly just a preview. I'll rework a lot of this (syntax / typing style for one; rework the voice a bit as well) and format it later. Hope this has a good vibe to it so far though.

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EB: Rose?
TT: Hello John
Eb: I thought you were going to bed like, an hour ago.
TT: That was my intention.
TT: Hand held out high with want annexed
TT: Of nightly dreams one danced perplexed
TT: Self left without dreams held alone
TT: Deep inside I began to moan
TT: My heart heavy as sleep rejects
EB: Ummm..
TT: I'm having trouble falling asleep
EB: Well yeah, duh! You got like, all these words buzzing in your head.
EB: Who could sleep with that?
TT: Insomnia always was the most expensive of harlots when it came to satiating one's desire to write.
EB: So, you're not in bed because you can't get to sleep?
EB: Not cuz you're lookin' for some hot word action, right?
TT: Yes JOhn. I've had a bit of trouble sleeping lately honestly. I thought I'd sign on and see if there was anyone to talk to for a while.
TT: Strider is signed off and you know how difficult it can be to get a hold of Jade.
EB: Haha, yeah. I don't know HOW she sleeps as often as she does.
EB: Her grandpa must run her wild with all the wild adventures they go on.
TT: Don't feel obligated to stay up John. It's getting late there as well.
EB: bluh bluh, I'm THREE hours behind you.
EB: I wasn't even getting ready for bed yet.
TT: That's not what you said an hour ago.
EB: I was joking. It was a prank.
EB: I got you so good!
EB: My dad lets me stay up late on Wednesdays.
EB: Some sort of clow.. er.. harlequin thing I think.
EB: It's kinda confusing sometimes.
TT: I can only imagine.
TT: Outright permission to stay up late must be quite the burden to bear.
EB: Oh man, you have no idea!
EB: It's like I'm the big man. I am tearing up the court and there's no one to pass to.
TT: Are you the star?
EB: Well... I dunno! I just hope I'd be able to do my part if everyone was relying on me.
TT: Interesting...
EB: huh?
TT: Nothing
EB: Well, don't worry still is all I'm saying.
EB: Do you have any idea what you're gonna do?
TT: I was thinking of sneaking out to my observatory to look at stars.
TT: They can be quite beautiful.
EB: Oh, like uh, inspiring and stuff?
TT: I'm not really looking to write anything John.
TT: I was just being a little silly.
EB: Oh. I knew that.

[Ledundead]

More fun with the alt Midnight Crew! Who knows, maybe someday there will actually be some therapy in this fanfic about therapy. (Also, I know that the Fenestrated Walls didn't have any visible controls, but we're going to pretend that they did and they were just off screen or something because heaven forbid if my silly fanfiction doesn't rigidly adhere to the established canon.)

Part One! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3 ... 83#p931283
Part Two! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3 ... 94#p932794
Part Three! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3 ... 72#p950472
Part Four! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/phpBB3 ... 51#p955251

Unhinged - part 5

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The massive screens of the Fenestrated Wall in front of Draconian showed only blackness, punctuated on occasion by the dark and distant shapes of the Elder Gods as they drifted listlessly through the starless void beyond Derse. In the velvet blackness of the screen the Dignitary could easily make out his own reflection, and with an expression of cool equanimity he adjusted the collar of his suit. Draconian was not the kind of person who looked effortlessly impressive in any outfit. He was the kind of person who looked like he put a ridiculous amount of work into looking impressive in any outfit, and that was how he preferred it. Appearance was important.

Satisfied at last with his mirror image, Draconian adjusted a set of dials on the control panel in front of him, and the Wall flickered and returned to a street view of Derse. Sitting in his office chair at the long black board that housed the Wall's controls, he could simply spin the dials and with one fluid movement, see almost anywhere on the planet. More finagling with the controls split the view in half: a wide shot the dark purple hallway where Rose's prison could be found, and the exterior of the tower where the boy, Dave Strider, lay asleep, still sprawled haphazardly on the carpet of Rose's dream room. It seemed prudent to keep an eye on that one.

Watching the goings-on of the Dark Kingdom was not technically Draconian's job, but at the moment there was no one else to fill in, and the Dignitary rather liked the solitude. It was the only time when no one was trying to annoy him.

On the control panel beside him, a small, handheld radio crackled loudly to life. "Draconian!"

The tall Dersite sighed in irritation and picked it up, pressing the button to speak. "Yes, Droll?"

"What was Hegemonic's favorite color?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"I'm buying streamers!"

Draconian glanced at the radio through narrowed eyes. These exasperating conversations with the Courtyard Droll never went where he expected them to. "Why," he asked slowly, "are you buying streamers?"

"For the memorial! And I need to know Hegemonic's favorite color so I can get streamers he would like! Is it purple? I hope it's purple because all they have is purple."

"Droll, this is a memorial. It's not a party. It should not involve streamers." He said it without any real emotion, because as annoying as Droll sometimes was, being angry at him for anything was like kicking a puppy.

"I thought we could make it more cheerful," Droll explained.

Draconian took a moment to lean back in his chair and rub his temples exasperatedly before taking a deep, calming breath and responding. "You do understand that Hegemonic is dead, don't you? This is what we're commemorating. His death. Please keep the decorations appropriate."

There was a long silence on Droll's end, and then, quietly: "I understand that, Draconian."

"Alright then." The Dignitary waited, but Droll didn't say any more. After a while, he picked up the radio with another sigh and added, "Red."

"Um, what?"

"Hegemonic's favorite color was red. You ought to remember that."

"Oh, that's right! I'll see if I can get red streamers."

"...Yes, Droll. Red streamers." It was pointless to argue; the tiny Dersite could never really fit more than one idea into his head at a time. Funerals, the Dignitary determined, were for the living. If red streamers made Droll feel better about losing Hegemonic, then let him have red streamers. For Droll, Draconian could make that concession.

A flicker of movement on the Fenestrated Wall caught his eye.

Draconian hadn't been paying much attention to the Wall during his conversation with the Courtyard Droll, but as he turned back to it he saw something dart just out of view on the screen showing Rose's dream tower. A spin of the dial and Draconian was able to follow it: a fast-moving violet blur shooting through the skies of Derse.

Dave Strider.

Draconain's mouth twisted into an irritated frown as he followed the boy's flight path with the Wall. It was immediately obvious that the child wasn't merely out for a leisurely flight; he moved with purpose, skimming the chain that connected Derse to its orbiting moon as he made a beeline for the four mighty towers of the palace, looming over the twisted geometries that made up the rest of the city. He was looking for the girl.

Either she'd managed to give the other children a message despite the imps carefully observing her pesterlogs, or they'd figured it out on their own. Regardless, they knew she was here.

"Droll," said Draconian into the radio. "This conversation will have to wait. We may have a problem."

"Okay, Draconian!"

It would take the boy time to get there; Derse was massive and confusingly warped in on itself, and dreamselves couldn't fly particularly fast. Draconain estimated about half and hour, at most, before he reached the palace, and even then one thirteen-year-old boy wouldn't be much of a threat. Still, it was a problem to be dealt with, and so Draconian switched the frequency on his radio and made another call.

"Jack? I think you're going to want to see this."

- - - - - - - - - -

The Sovereign Slayer strode in a few minutes later, a white wax-paper package in one hand and, because he didn't have a second hand to hold them, a couple of official looking documents clenched between his teeth. Draconain reached up absentmindedly and took them from him, glancing at the papers without much interest as he set them down on the control panel.

"A budget report for the cloning labs in the veil?"

"The war is over. I'm shutting most of them down," Jack explained curtly as he tore open the wax paper.

"The people won't like that."

"The people can die in a fire." Jack gestured to the endless rows of figures printed out on the documents. "Derse is in debt. We owe ourselves money, for cloning super-soldiers and building battleships and mass-producing weapons and one hundred other idiotic little things that add up to make a war. And the only way to GET that money is to tax the pawns to starvation, and the people sure as hell aren't going to like THAT either."

Draconian didn't comment on that. As far as he knew, the black king and queen had never worried about that sort of thing; they had underlings to deal with it. It had always been Jack, sitting at his desk and sifting through the endless piles of paperwork, who made sure Derse worked. It was a thankless duty, and even now the Slayer didn't have the luxury of being a pampered figurehead like the former monarchy, because somebody still had to do his job.

"Eat this," Jack commanded, leaning his elbow against the control panel and holding the wax paper packet out to Draconian while he gazed out at the Fenestrated Wall.

The Dignitary peered inside with some distaste, and saw a few thin, short loaves of crispy fried bread, slathered in butter and stinking of garlic. "What is it?"

"Earth food. They call them breadsticks. Some of our restaurants liked the idea." He gave Draconian a look that radiated the threat: eat one and don't you dare make me repeat myself.

"Yes, Jack," Draconian muttered, and, mouth twisting in aversion, he carefully rolled up one sleeve, reached into the packet, and withdrew one of the breadsticks with the very tips of his fingers. It felt disgustingly greasy against his carapace, but he put it into his mouth nonetheless and tried not to think about what he was chewing.

Jack was watching Dave wind his way through the skies of Derse. "Now tell me why this is so world-shatteringly important. I thought you'd killed the boy."

Draconian frowned and set the rest of the breadstick down. Holding his hand out at an awkward angle and wondering how he was supposed to get the grease off his fingers, he answered, "Of course we didn't kill the boy. The boy is our hold on the girl."

"The girl has two bodies; she's our hold on herself. What kind of moronic plan would require you to use the boy for that?"

"It was Droll's plan," Draconian snapped tetchily. "Why don't you reprimand him about it?"

"Because, unlike him, YOU know better." Jack bit into one of the breadsticks and made a face.

Draconian's eyes darted surreptitiously to the package still in Jack's hand. "We do have kitchen staff in the palace, you know. You could be eating something that isn't... this."

"HER kitchen staff," Jack replied shortly.

"Why does that matter?"

"Her kitchen staff, who lovingly prepared every sickening morsel of her food like she was some kind of goddess. Until I get a chance to fire them all and hire some new cooks who don't have a vendetta against me for killing their cult leader, no one in the palace is coming anywhere near what I eat."

The Dignitary stared down in barely concealed alarm at the breadstick he had taken a bite of. "...Jack, did you just use me to check this for poison?"

"Yes. And lucky you; it was safe." the Slayer finished his own loaf with a smug smile on his face. "Now, the boy."

"He's... most certainly coming here," Draconian said, a little thrown off by the breadstick incident. You couldn't really call it paranoia; not when the number of people who DIDN'T want Jack dead could be counted on one hand, but still... "The girl must have asked him for help, somehow."

"Then once again, lucky you. He gets to be your problem."

"Fair enough," Draconian sighed. "What about the girl?"

"What about the girl? So she sent for help. She's a scared kid and she made a stupid mistake; that's the imps' fault for not catching it. She can rot forever in her cell for all I care."

"I think," the Dignitary attempted, "that you should at least talk to her about it. You gave her a direct order and she-"

"Why," Jack cut in, dangerously, "are you so very insistent that I talk to her? What makes you think I have any interest in interacting with her in any way whatsoever? She is THIRTEEN, Draconian. She is not a legitimate therapist and I am not going to talk to her just so you can feel some sense of smug satisfaction."

"That's petty, Jack, and you know it." Draconian at last wiped his hands off on the cloning lab's budget report, earning himself a dark look from the Sovereign Slayer. "She said it herself: as long as she's here we have an advantage over those children playing the game. We should use it."

"Why don't YOU talk to her, then?"

"You're afraid of her," said Draconian, placidly. "She talked circles around you once and you don't want to face her again, is that it?"

Jack Noir glared at him. "You're really going to try that."

Yet another sigh. "No, Jack."

"She's a child. I could kill her in half a second."

"Yes, Jack."

"I'm going to go talk to her."

"Of course, Jack."

Draconian waited until Jack had left the room before turning back to the side of the screen displaying the hallway where Rose was being held and murmuring, more to himself than to her, since she couldn't possibly hear him, "Alright, I told him what you wanted me to say. The Elder Gods help you if you can't make this work."

The hallway remained silent and empty. On the other screen, Dream-Dave grew steadily nearer to the towers of the Dark Palace.

There was the tiniest click as the Dignitary set his radio to the general channel and pressed the talk button. "Orders from the Sovereign Slayer. Send every monster we can spare to Lohac."

As long as the Knight of Time was flying around on Derse, his other body would be asleep and defenseless, and Draconian could think of at least one easy way to get rid of the problem once and for all.

(Is it just me or is the new forum really hard on the eyes where fanfiction is concerned? I feel like I have to highlight everything just to read it...)

Absolutely amazing. Even Jack's distrust of the entire nation is there! Our Noirs are the saaaaaaaaame. Keep up the amazing work!
EDIT: Oh, and the "Jack ran the entire Kingdom but the monarchs got the glory" thing popped up on my formspring, too. This is weeeeeeeeird.

[grigori]

People are posting so much cool stuff

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VagabondRaiser - Your Sollux is adorable and the dialogue manages to be off enough to be noticeable without getting unreadable. And the explanation about Karkat not trusting anyone else with scissors is hilarious. Oh, and having Terezi harass him into a blush is brilliant. And I hope your John/Terezi thing continues soon, I want to see them meet!
Superstar - I like the idea but I'm finding it kind of hard to follow. Maybe take a bit longer setting stuff up before it happens?
Rastea - Sleepy trolls are
Whap - oh I never even thought of that. It makes sense John and the rest'd treat it as really dead since only Jade was told about the dreamselves dying.
SausageMahoney - That's a different take on Vriska's craziness than I've seen. I especially love the level of crazy paranoia that starts kicking in because OF COURSE Karkat is hiding his blood color because he knows she is into calculating exact stats and wants to lure her into a false sense of security it makes so much sense
RKayDee - poor Equius. He's so terribly in denial.
PaulPower - great pesterlog! John's explanations of stuff is great.
ToreaderTornado - GA is a total badass!
DocBeard - longfic is looooooooong. And also good so yay! more to read. I like how you explain just enough of the setup that it makes sense without getting bogged down in too many details, and the idea of them all rebuilding their houses together also just feels like a fitting capstone to all the sburb-related building we start with. I really like how you have the kids interacting, and I can't wait to find out what's going on with Prospit and Ms. Paint.
kmsumrall - I don't like most AUs but this one's cool, I like the minor references to troll society you have and it'd be fun to see those develop further. And the fic with Aradia is so sad, having to do that on top of getting murdered.
silrini - I like your interpretation of GA and yeah, if any of them realize what's going on I bet it's her.
Dermonster - I like this, it reminds me of how I was thinking back when John first entered the medium. The whole batter thing is kinda cliche, though, I think it'd be stronger to have them just facing down the meteor.
Red Pen - Another chapter Droll is adorable and Jack really needs to figure out you're supposed to use someone you don't like to test for poison, not one of your only allies. Kinda :/ about the monarchs being incompetent thing, I really don't like that fanon but I guess I can see why you're using it (It's hard liking opposed characters sometimes...) I like that you're writing Jack as reasonable rather than flying off the handle about everything, and just, characters interacting, everything they say is just so perfect.
shimmercat - I think you did a good job, we have lots of friendly pesterlogs and comforting pesterlogs and not enough pesterlogs of people who are upset and taking it out on each other.
breccia - Oh god I can totally see Karkat getting into an argument and being totally oblivious the whole way. The opening snark is great too.
Shadow of the Lotus - Your Rose and John are so cute together!

I'm going through DA to find all the fanfic there. Is there anywhere else it's getting posted? I mean I'd like people to post somewhere central but failing that I want to collect all the links in one place, at least.

[ToreaderTornado]

Uh, I know this is shitty but I came up with this after seeing the latest update about Equius and the gates.

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[font=courier]---- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] ----
CT: D--> Listen to me Vriska
CT: D--> No interruptions, whatsoever, as this is important.
AG: 8luh 8luh, 8oring speech time!
CT: D--> Ins001ent 100wer lifeform!
CT: D--> Perhaps, if you knew why I was contacting you, you would not be so scathing in your words.
AG: fiiiiiiiine, go ahead, Equius
CT: D--> Yes, well, it seems that I got a bit… %, and accidentally harmed Aradia's gift.
AG: you 8astard 8uffoon!
AG: i swear to jegus, you 8etter have that fixed soon
CT: D--> Not to worry, that is actually why I am contacting you.
CT: D--> You play a vital part in fi%ing the robot, or rather
AG: how the hell to you expect meeeeeee to fix it?
AG: you're the gadgeteer genius, and you went and fucked up!
CT: D--> You did not let me finish
CT: D--> It seems that I used the wrong words to explain my intentions.
CT: D--> You are a vital part of the robot that needs fi%ing
CT: D--> Yes ,that sounds about right.
AG: what?
CT: D--> You see, Vriska, Aradia just needs one new part
CT: D--> A left arm, to be precise
AG: you mean… !
AG: screw you!
AG: it's my gift and if it needs my arm, I'm not giving it to her then!
CT: D--> Ah, therein lays our conflict.
CT: D--> You see, Aradia needs this part as much as she needs a new body.
CT: D--> And what Aradia needs
CT: D--> Aradia gets.
AG: fuck off!
AG: you can't just come over here and take my arm!
CT: D--> That is where you are wrong
CT: D--> In fact, I've already completed half of that process.
AG: w8, wh
AG: akfgakfbakgfg
AG: tektmhtemotmtjo
----arachnidsGrip [AG] is now an idle chum----
----centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] ----
CT: D--> Aradia
CT: D--> It seems there has been a change of plans
CT: D--> I will be delivering your gift, not Vriska
AA: 0kay
CT: D--> Oh, and if something seems wrong with part of it…
CT: D--> I can assure you, it is 100% fine.
CT: D--> I am on my way now, dear Aradia
----centaursTesticle [CT] has ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] ----
AA: ribbit?

I know its not great, but its something, at least.

[nextian]

Breccia that is adorkable. I particularly liked "WE ARE LIKE TWO SELF-HATING SEEDLETS IN THE SAME PODCASE OF BAD LUCK AND MISERY-FILLED DARKNESS." and "NO I'm going to argue that I'm BETTER than she is ... for you? FOR you? For ... YOU? Damnit how do I emphasize it so it sounds better?" Oh Karkat, you are doomed to a long life full of SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP I LOVE YOU BUT NOT LIKE THAT, aren't you.

SotL, I love the light touch you have there. That it isn't foreshadowing anything -- it's just two friends late at night. It's very sweet.

And now! A fic with a flowchart. Hopefully pt. 1, if I don't lose steam.

what family doesn't have its ups and downs?

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John follows in his father's wake and Rose, arranging witticisms and her skirts at the bottom of her curtsey, straightens too fast in surprise and nearly trips. David catches her with a hand in the small of her back. "Careful, sister," he murmurs. "Try not to actually fling yourself to the vultures."

"It would be both tasteless and unnecessary," Rose agrees, her voice as tranquil as she can make it, and that's as far as she gets before John sweeps her up in an embrace. He's grown, enough to lift her off the ground.

"Sister mine," he cries, and deposits her safely between himself and the king, who accepts her second, flustered curtsey with a great smile and a kiss to her brow. "It's been a long, cold year without you."

"Has it," Rose says, breathless. "I see you've turned to strenous exercise for warmth."

He laughs at that. "As it befits the heir. Rose, have you met our lady sister?"

Our lady sister, the cloistered bastard of her mother's husband, is in green muslin at the back of the courtyard. She stands uncertainly with her hand on the shoulder of an enormous white hound, lean and powerful enough to be their emblem, the hound argent couchant. At John's words she smiles, cautious, and steps forward.

"And you must be your father's jade," Rose's mother says, smoothly "A great pleasure."

Rose is startled to see no look of offense on the girl's face. "Indeed, your highness, he is pleased to call me precious," the girl -- chirps, there's no other word for it. "Though my name is Josephine. Like my mother."

"A noble name for a noble sister," John says, shooting a troubled look at his stepmother. "Rose, David, won't you greet her?"

"With all my heart," says Rose, and puts both hands out for the girl's free one. "Welcome to Castle Lalonde." With a look at her rake of a brother, she adds, "We are most pleased to host an unspoiled gem."

David rolls his eyes at her. "Indeed, most glad. Why, we may have marriage talks while she stays with us. She can have three or four of your suitors, can't she? You can spare."

"An excellent idea," the king laughs, "but unnecessary. My Jade has been promised to peace in Bavaria. Shall we go inside?"

"Indeed," their mother agrees. "If we stand here any longer the problem of succession will be solved by the freezing of all our heirs."

"All our heirs but fire-hearted David," the king says heartily, and John looks down. "Stoked a few furnaces since I've seen you last, boy?"

David says, "I try to follow family tradition. Let's to dinner."

"Thank God," whispers the Jade in Rose's ear, "I'm starving," and Rose finds herself faced with the distressing possibility that she might, in fact, like this girl. She wishes, as she does each Christmas for John, that it weren't so entirely vital to destroy her.

---

Dinner is detente. They exhange pleasantries about the food, the wine, the music. Jade (Rose, who met her mother once, cannot bring herself to call her Josephine) feeds the hound under the table, small sweetmeats at first and then -- when she thinks Rose is not watching -- an entire pheasant. The hound licks the feathers off its face and falls asleep, its smug expression yet another indicator that it ought to be their family's patron. Rose decides that she will expand her usual dislike of dogs to outright distrust in this case. It could at any time devour her like the pheasant.

"His name is Becquerel," Jade says, scratching him behind the ears. "He frightens no end out of the nuns."

John makes it most of the dinner before saying anything painfully foolish, and even then it's a mere trifle, a comment on how they've spent their time. They let it pass. One of the ways to spend time in exile is to judge very carefully what assaults are worth the undertaking.

After the marzipan fruits, which make Jade laugh and clap her hands with delight, John and David fight in the courtyard. They use their old wooden swords and the battle is playful and hardly metaphorical at all, John cheating wildly as usual, David moving so fast he's a dream of a knight until he trips over John's outstretched foot.

"Still can't beat me without playing the fool," he says from the dirt, panting hard. "If you'd spent less time following the bards--"

"Music is a crucial part of any well-made court," John teases, "my lady the Queen taught me that when she caught you writing for the lute for the fourteenth time that week. You haven't learned your lessons." He offers a friendly hand, and then, because he is John, because he's half idiot, he adds, "I thought it was you who were meant to be her favorite."

David's visor hides his eyes, but Rose knows how he moves, and there's no humor when he takes the hand to yank John off-balance, sending him sprawling onto a slab of stone. He gets to his feet, removes his helmet, plants his sword squarely between John's elbow and ribcage. "Sorry," he says, half-grinning. "I miscalculated."

John says something too quiet for Rose to hear, a question. David brushes dirt off his tunic. "Yes," he says. "Of course."

Their father applauds.

"He did that on purpose," Jade says, uneasily, and Rose looks sharply at the girl, who springs to her feet and kneels at John's side, completely careless of her kirtle. She's babbling something to him, fast and upset, and John tucks her hair behind her ear and tries to reassure her that this is business as usual.

Rose puts a hand on her royal mother's arm. She murmurs, "If you play your pieces against each other your game will be impaired."

"A childish metaphor," says her mother with a smile, "but a good early effort. Don't worry, Rose. You'll stab me to the core eventually. If you ever find a weapon." She rises, regally. "I find myself exhausted."

"I'll take you back," says John, leaning on Jade, who leans on Becquerel. He offers an arm to finish the chain. "We need to talk."

Explanations (now with family tree):

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There's this play/movie, called the Lion in Winter. It is the greatest thing ever. Teleharmonic posted a clip of his Doc Sneeze voice doing a Lion in Winter quote, and then I got ideas. If you haven't seen the movie, you ... could think of it like a Castlestuck AU! Only also everyone hates each other.

King Henry I Egbert of England is married to Queen Mathilde of Lalonde. Their son is Prince David. David is not the heir to the throne, because King Henry was previously married to Queen Elizabeth, who died in childbirth with Prince John. Mathilde also has a child from a previous marriage, but Rose is the spoils of her mother's divorce from King Harald of Norway. King Henry had a long, public affair with Josephine (bynamed "Harlot," or at least that's what Mathilde calls her) and Josephine had a daughter, also named Josephine.



...Yup.

part 2

[kmsumrall]

breccia: man I wish I could write karkat that good. Started my own with him but I can never get the tone write.

Anyone have any good ideas for sadfiction? I suck coming up with original ideas.

[Superstar]

Nextian: this is looking pretty good. I enjoyed the way you cast the crew so to speak. It fits their characters perfectly. EPIC WIN.

[Tezrial]

The Second Death of Shoeless Joe Jackson.
Chapter 1: Domestic Conspiracy

I've been so preoccupied with random things for the past few days that I only just now sad down and read through this and boy do I regret not doing so sooner.

A+ work, seriously. And another fine example of things that are so good they scare me away from writing myself. Only place you really lost me was the John quoting Julius Caesar, but I didn't dwell on that as I was too distracted by the overall level of awesomeness that was the interactions between the kids.

And I'm in pretty much the same boat as Sarasvati regarding the waterfight. I looked around for paper immediately (did not finish reading at this point) only to find that I had none. I definitely intend to at least attempt to draw it at some point, even though I can't draw. I have too good a mental image of it to not give it a shot.

Also totally d'aawwwed my eyes out at Jade/Fork (OTP?).

Shimmercat: I...I don't really agree with the characterizations. While Rose has every right to break down, I can't imagine her doing so while a friend is doing the same. I would imagine her trying to settle Dave down as best she could, putting herself aside until he is dealt with. She is very much the "mom" of the group, and knows Dave well enough to know how he functions. I can't see Rose reacting to this outside of full-on therapistmom mode.

As for Dave, I just don't see him as being so...heartless....regarding his dead friends. I agree that he would go into a bit of a berserker rage in the situation, but I imagine him more taking it out on himself, and Rose.

TG: shes dead
TG: shes as dead as john
TG: maybe deader
TG: definitely flatter than john

I... I laughed.

That's pretty much the biggest example I have for that. I did not laugh. :x Admittedly, I ship Dave/Jade pretty hard, but Dave saying such a callous thing about a friend -a friend who is dead- just seems...cruel, even by his standards.

[Ale]

So, I haven't written fanfiction in 5 years. Anyway…

Untitled story re: early Aradia/Sollux AND KARKAT!!!
(slashy implications, nothing too serious unless you desperately want it to be. It's also long.)

ps: I blame My Lucky Seven's art for getting me all mushed up over Karkat/Sollux.

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It was not how Sollux wanted to spend his afternoon. Or any time, really. But, Karkat had been resolute in his unfounded hissy fit, and Sollux knew he would only continue to be pestered until his dying day if he didn't just stick it out. It only needed to happen once, Sollux thought. Karkat would realize how much he hated being there with them, and his anger would be reserved for insults over Trollian. Sollux was quite equipped to deal with that.

Still, he had to deal with it that one time. He was now sitting in his hivestem's bedroom, in silence, looking between Karkat and Aradia, who were both biting their tongues so hard he was worried that they would start bleeding and Karkat would have to one-up her by bleeding more, and it would all end with Karkat unconscious on the ground. No, Sollux thought. He was not going to have that happen. Not again. Sollux had to find a distraction.

"I got that new treasure-hunting game GAME GRUB said was pretty good," He suggested mildly.

Aradia perked up. "Oh, you mean Troll Indiana Jones explores the Temple of Eternal Strife And Pain while looking for A Mystical Artifact But Instead Encounters Undedicated Lusii That Only Wish To Eat His Organ Parts And Also He Gets An Annoying Small Sidekick Who Provides Some Comic Relief From The Stuck-Up Love Interest?"

"Yeah!" Sollux knew Aradia would be interested; the game offered a heroic archaeologist protagonist that she identified with immensely.

"Oh hell no," Karkat predictably spat. "I'm not going to sit around and watch her indulge her weirdo fetish for rolling around in the mud looking for decrepit remains to gnaw on."
"What?" Aradia asked, incredulously. "You think I dig up bones to chew on?"

"It wouldn't surprise me if you did! I mean who knows what you do out there in the boonies, burying yourself in dirt all day like an animal and clutching fossilized musclebeast excrement to your chest like a precious gem!"

"Why would anyone do that, Karkat?" Aradia asked flatly. Though she was clearly becoming annoyed, she was always fairly good at managing her emotions. She wouldn't give into Karkat's taunts and begin to fight, like Sollux often did. That was probably why Karkat was never too fond of her, even before she had shown an interest in Sollux. "Why would anyone look for fossilized musclebeast dung? Why is that an idea that is even in your head?"

"You know you're the leader of the creepy chick battalion!" Karkat yelled, dramatically pointing at her. "You're always talking to those dead corpses and shit, what exactly is keeping you from looking for their disgusting remains?"

"Karkat, why are you even here if you're so angry?" Aradia asked.

"Sollux invited me! Why are you here?"

"You know why I'm here!"

"Yeah! You are so obsessed with him I could almost SMELL IT from my lawnring, coming over in WAFTS of gross, lovey tentacles waiting to crush the life out of him. Although I guess that smell could just be all the musclebeast shit you dig up in your yard."

"Sollux," Aradia looked to him. An amused smile at Karkat's ludicrous insults had been creeping up on his face, which he quickly dismantled as the girl looked his way. "What are we doing? This isn't fun."

"I'm sorry -- you guys both wanted to hang out and I just thought that ... maybe we could all hang out together?" Sollux knew it was doomed to fail from the start, but he had to give into Karkat just this once, and he would never want to come over when Aradia was there again. He could grin and bear it. Maybe.

Karkat groaned. "I don't even know why YOU want to hang out with her, why would I want to?!"

"YOU begged to come over!" Sollux snapped. "You bitched that we never hang out anymore because I am all 'BLUH BLUH GIRLS BLUH BLUH.'" Sollux imitated Karkat by lolling his head around and waving his hands in a ridiculous manner.

"BLUH BLUH BAD IMPERSONATIONS BLUH BLUH" Karkat mocked.

"BLUH BLUH--"

"OK!" Aradia interrupted Sollux, no doubt fearing that the exchange may go on the remainder of the night. "We're here now! So, whatever! Let's just do something fun."

"BLUH BLUH NO SENSE OF HUMOR BLUH BLUH" Karkat motioned toward Aradia, who frowned.

"You didn't used to hate me, Karkat," she said. "What is this?"

"What?! You got me in trouble last week!!" Karkat seemed to be close to emitting visible steam. "I almost didn't get away from the schoolhive fast enough to avoid getting swallowed whole by the fucking Didactalusus!"

"You were cheating off me!" Aradia yelled back. "I didn't even say anything! She caught you looking at my terminal during the Brutal Alternian History final challenge and dragged you out!"

"OH MY GOD, You see? This is why everyone thinks you're so creepy! Getting the Didactalusus to come after me without even saying anything! At least Sollux can only throw shit around and like, float and shit with his psionics; you've got such creepy, evil powers!"

"I didn't-- I don't--" Aradia shook her head. "You're so ridiculous, Karkat."

"Whatever! I didn't come over here to watch you fawn all over Sollux like a brain-dead cephalopod with your -- your gross sticky tentacle things that stick to everything!!"

"God, it's like you're trying to protect your territory! Sollux, Karkat's never expelled his nitrogenous waste stream on you before, has he?"

Sollux frowned. "What? That's--"

"Argh!" Karkat interrupted Sollux with his cry. "I don't go around peeing on people! See?! Creepy thoughts! Creepy! Creep!"

"You've only been this aggressive toward me since I started spending more time with Sollux. Maybe you should get a girlfriend!"

"Don't be disgusting, I don't need one of you spooky spirit chicks digging your bony claws into me trying to suck out my soul all the time in between bouts of your pathetic dirt digging and poop collecting!"

"Would you please get over the ... the poop thing?" Aradia's hand was on her forehead as she squeezed her eyes shut out of frustration.

"OK! Fine! Let's talk about piss some more like you wanted!"

Aradia sighed heavily and let her hand fall to her side listlessly. She stared up at the ceiling. "I think it's for the best that you never even approach a female, Karkat. I can't imagine a girl that would be messed up enough to be with you."

"Hey!" Karkat looked confused. Sollux knew he was fighting the urge to argue against Aradia's claim, even though it would negate his own argument from only a few moments earlier. "Well! No! You're -- No! You're --- I don't care!!"

"Let's see," Aradia began, "First, she would have to be self-hating enough to put up with the constant insults." Karkat turned away, grinding his teeth so hard it was almost audible. "She would have to fight back all the time, and actually enjoy doing it enough to not just leave you immediately. She would have to hate herself so much that the fact that you hated yourself to such an insane degree would only make her feel better! Crippling co-dependency based on mutual self-hatred! She'd be a completely insane mess, completely irrational, uncontrollable, emotional, and angry! A dysfunctional, borderline-abusive relationship would be the only thing she could handle!"

"Wow, Aradia," Karkat said, rolling his eyes. Sollux thought he saw a slight smile creep up sinisterly on his face. "Did you just describe your boyfriend to me?"

"What?" She looked taken back.

"Borderline personality! Self-hatred! Angry! Emotional! You just fucking told me to date Sollux!"

"What?!" Sollux suddenly snapped to attention. Something in his stomach that was not supposed to be engaging in gymnastics did a somersault.

"Idiot, you just described a HORRIBLE GIRL that is basically the dude you want to have disgusting and sticky ghost-couplings with and said that she'd be perfect for me." Karkat looked intensely satisfied with his arguing skills. Sollux felt his face grow hot. Wow. Karkat was an idiot.

"That's not what I--"

"Yeah, how horrible must the girl be who wants to date Karkat!" He waved his hands around in a mocking fashion, “Why, she is just like this boy I am freakishly obsessed with! Hurrrrr."

"You're so ridiculous!"

"I'm ridiculous?! Think about what you just said! She would be horrible and she would be perfect for me BECAUSE she's so horrible!! Yet that's what YOU want!! Smart move, you should be a Legislacerator! Your arguing skills are top-fucking-notch!"

"I did not describe Sollux!" Aradia said, somewhat desperate now. "Sollux, I'm sorry! I wasn't describing you! I don't think you're anything like that!"

"It's ok," Sollux replied nervously, "I know you--"

“HA!” Karkat interrupted him once more. “I guess you need to work on hating yourself more so you can really snag him, huh? Get a bit more emotional and irrational so you can be like me and then Sollux will finally want to date you!"

"That is not what I said."

"It so is!"

"Are you really going to try and argue with me that I think Sollux should be with you instead?"

"Well you ARE A CREEPY SPOOKY WEIRDO CHICK so it's not like you could say anything that would weird me out more than you already do every fucking day!"

"I think it's fairly obvious that Sollux has a bit more interest in me than he does in you," Aradia said, smiling in slight amusement. Karkat clearly failed to see any.

"WHATEVER! SOLLUX IS MORE INTERESTED IN ME AND YOU KNOW IT, WE TALK ALL THE TIME!"

Aradia looked a bit surprised. Sollux felt his stomach drop. Oh god, Sollux thought, he doesn't know what he's saying. Please tell me he doesn't know what he's saying.

"Karkat he is not interested in you --"

"SHUT UP, I AM SO INTERESTING I FUCKING VOMIT UP EPIC WORKS OF PROSE EACH MORNING."

The girl's mouth hung open slightly as she stared at him. Finally she closed it and took a deep breath. "Since you are clearly an idiot," she began, "I will just say this: Sollux does not want to be with you, you moron!"

"SOLLUX WANTS TO BE AROUND ME ALL THE TIME, WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE NOW?! HE INVITED ME, MORON."

"You--" Aradia was shaking her head, trying to clear her mind of the nonsense arguments. "You're--"

"Since you are clearly an IDIOT, I will just say THIS: I get along with him way better than you do!!"

"You don't know that!" Aradia was getting into the argument now. Sollux wasn't sure what to do. Should he break it up? Karkat only had so many more feet to stick in his mouth. He felt nervous. Why did he have to keep saying things like that?

"WE ARE LIKE TWO SELF-HATING SEEDLETS IN THE SAME PODCASE OF BAD LUCK AND MISERY-FILLED DARKNESS."

"At least Sollux and I have a connection based on something more than our neuroses!"

"WHATEVER. SOLLUX AND I ARE WAY CLOSER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE."

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

"Are you!?"

Sollux was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. Karkat enjoyed arguing so much that it was often too difficult for him to think more than one step ahead. Sollux felt anxiety rise up as he listened to his friend make increasingly ridiculous arguments, not realizing the heavy undertones he was emitting. Oh, god, Aradia, please be stupid just this one time and don't pick up on this.

The muscles in Aradia's face began to twitch and Sollux recognized a hidden smile. She was holding in amusement. Oh, no. "OK, Karkat. I concede. You are meant to be with Sollux, not me. There is clearly a ton of chemistry between you two that I cannot hope to come close to! You're right -- I'm wrong."

"HA!" Karkat stuck his finger only a few inches from her face once more. "I KNOW! THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!" He turned to Sollux, the glow of winning an argument flushing out what little common sense he normally had. He approached Sollux and grabbed him by both shoulders, grinning madly. "RIGHT, SOLLUX? WE HAVE WAY MORE CHEMISTRY THAN YOU DO WITH HER."

"Karkat that is NOT what that means," Sollux said, his face feeling hot. He was sure he had turned bright yellow. Aradia crossed her arms, a satisfied smirk on her face.

"What do you mean?! SHES PRACTICALLY ANOTHER SPECIES, BUT WE HAVE ALL SORTS OF SIMILAR CHEMICALS!"

"You are such an idiot," Sollux managed to say through his intensely rising anxiety and embarrassment. Karkat shook him.

"YOU'RE THE IDIOT!!" He yelled. Karkat turned to Aradia, still shaking Sollux by the shoulders. "SEE? SEE HOW WE JAB EACH OTHER WITH OUR BARBS? LOOK AT ALL THESE CHEMICALS FLYING AROUND THAT YOU CAN NEVER MATCH WITH YOUR SPOOKY FEMALE MUTATIONS."

"Sollux, I think I'm going to go home," Aradia said. "I don't want to come between you two. I just wish you had told me how you felt before! You should be more open about your feelings; it would have saved me a lot of time."

"No, Aradia--"

"YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, GO HAUNT SOME OTHER LAWNRING WITH YOUR SPOOKY AND SOUL-CRUSHING LOVE TENTATCLES AND LACK OF MANLY ATOMS."

"Wow," was all Aradia said, smiling as she shook her head and walked out the door.

"Aradia--"

The door closed.

"HAHA!" Karkat shook him harder.

"I-IDIOT," Sollux tried to yell, vibrating violently. "Kn--ock it--off!"

"What?" He stopped.

"You-- Do you--- Do you even know what you just argued about?!"

"Yeah, Aradia is a fucking spooky ass chick we are way better off without her!"

Sollux threw his hands up in desperation. "KK, WE DONT HAVE CHEMISTRY!"

"YES WE DO WE HAVE ALL KINDS OF CHEMISTRY. WE HAVE TONS OF CHEMICALS AND MOLECULES AND THINGS IN COMMON. LIKE BROTHERS. NEUROSESBROTHERS."

"NO, IDIOT. SHE MEANT ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY."

"THAT'S WHAT I MEAN, WE HAVE TONS OF ROMANT-- Ohhhhhhh." Karkat's expression dropped as he stared off into the distance, apparently thinking for the first time that evening. Slowly his face changed color as comprehension dawned and blood began to flow to his cheeks.

"You are an idiot." Sollux stated.

"W-Well-- That's not what I meant!" Karkat's eyes were wide. "OBVIOUSLY! We are just -- WE'RE JUST BETTER. I am better! I am way better than she is!! I mean, not for you! Well YEAH for YOU but not like FOR YOU!"

"Please stop talking."

"What's -- WHAT'S SO WRONG ANYWAY, I JUST MADE HER LEAVE, THAT'S A GOOD THING! 'CAUSE -- SHE'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU!"

"YOU PRATICALLY TOLD HER YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME, KARKAT!"

"WELL GOOD THING SHE'S -- STUPID!" He sputtered.

"She's not stupid! She's much smarter than you are!"

"OH so you think she's better?! SMARTS ARE BETTER? I'M TOO STUPID FOR YOU?"

"Are you going to argue that I should date you again?!"

"NO I'm going to argue that I'm BETTER than she is ... for you? FOR you? For ... YOU? Damnit how do I emphasize it so it sounds better?"

"Karkat--"

"LIKE FRIENDS!! HATEFRIENDS. THAT'S ALL! FRIENDS. REAL CHUMMY LIKE. RIGHT?"

"KARKAT please stop saying stupid things!"

"NO! I mean -- I'M NOT SAYING STUPID THINGS! I am saying FACTS. I mean. I am saying facts MOST OF THE TIME. I am saying that she is SO WRONG for you that the insane hypothetical option of ME being with you is a BETTER solution! But I mean that to draw attention to how bad of a match she is for you! IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE, SOLLUX. USE YOUR BRAINCENTER FOR ONCE.”

Sollux had no retort. His mind had gone blank for one of the few times in his life. The two trolls looked at each other for a brief moment. Karkat's eyes were wide. He immediately turned to the ceiling, eyeing it nervously. Sollux turned away as well, pulling one arm into his side awkwardly.

They were silent for an uncomfortable length of time.

"OK,” Karkat began, breathing deeply to help him think straight. Sollux was sure it wouldn't help. “Given that I think Aradia sucks fish eggs, and -- that -- uh, we are friends, I think -- Right?"

Sollux glanced at him quickly and looked away. "Uh, yeah."

"I just have, you know, opinions. On her. For your best interest. Because you are already fucked up enough! It would be really difficult to put up with you if some spooky chick made you more annoying!"

"OK. Fine. Sure. Given that you are an idiot, I suppose that I could understand that if I held my breath until I killed off a shit-ton of brain cells from lack of oxygen and from smashing my head onto the floor when I passed out.

"Good."

"Yeah."

"Also I'm not in love with you."

" ... OK."

"Yeah. I just ... wanted to make sure you knew that."

"Thanks for the clarification, KK."

"Cause I mean -- uhh -- I guess I kind of care. You know. Like someone who is a friend."

"Uh, yeah."

"Like, caring in some way but like not ... not I guess... thinking 'oh hey he is attractive' or like -- no OK forget that I didn't mean to say that, it's like 'good company' but like not GREAT company. Well it could be great but I mean if there is a distinction between the two words that means romantic and not romantic. 'Cause it's not romantic."

Sollux stared at him blankly. Karkat looked uncharacteristically embarrassed.

“Don't be so fucking stupid, Sollux!” Karkat snapped.

“Ugh! Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

“Do you want to fucking play my new game or not?!”

“NO. Well, actually yeah it sounds kind of cool.”

“OK!”

“OK.”

“Good.”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

“I will go get us some food from the kitchen.”

“Fine. Good. Fine.”

“Do you have any Starchy Cone Shaped High-Caloric Pepper Snacks?”

“Yes. There's a new bag in the pantry.”

“Good. They are pretty delicious.”

“I agree.”

“Good ... I'm ... glad.”

Karkat awkwardly stared at the floor for a moment before turning to walk out of the room. Sollux picked up a nearby grub and aggressively plugged it into his computer. He would stare at the screen blankly until Karkat returned from his unnecessarily slow trip to the kitchen, wishing for the first time in his life that the constant struggle in his head would ignite once more and give him something else to think about.

What an idiot.

Wow, I really REALLY enjoyed this story! I think this and unhinged are my favorite stories on this forum! I think that you did a great job keeping all of the characters in...character. I thought that you did a great job in progressing the story. I would absolutely LOVE to read more like this from you. Especially Karkat/Sollux...but I'm biased and you and Lucky Seven together have made me love these two so much. It's a shame that there isn't more on them. Actually, I would like to read more troll fics in general. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I think this fic was awesome and I hope you write more in the near/fairly near future

[DocBeard]

Only place you really lost me was the John quoting Julius Caesar,

It was just a play on the pesterlog that had John and Rose in a giant word-off. Rose was equally surprised John got the quote right, which I'd hoped would have covered that base but seems to have failed miserably. I will have to be more direct about that kind of stuff.

Thanks for the kind words. I've never really inspired fan art, so hey.

[Protoplasm]

So I've been lurking here for a little while, and I made this thing and thought I'd post it here and see what you guys think.

It's a Felt fanfic, unnamed as of right now.

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My name is Die.

Well, no. That isn't entirely true. I've been known as Die for a fairly long time now, but that is not my given name. My given name was Edward Miller. Even now that name brings to mind times that now seem distant and long-forgotten – likely due to the fact that I am now on an entirely different planet, in an entirely different time. Even the memories of my last day at home seem distant now.

But that is unimportant to the matter at hand here – I am in the midst of a competition that could quite possibly bring me to bankruptcy. This is a competition for the ages.

“I'm staying,” I announce, and Doze turns to Trace. I stared at Doze, who seemed unfazed by the game. That was all it really was to him, a game. But as for me, I had dropped my last few dollars into this, and that meant that I was going to have next to no funds for the next two weeks, or worse, until the next heist. I simply couldn't lose.

Trace seemed to mull over his possible moves, before saying, “Hit me.” Doze passed him a card. The two of clubs. Trace kept a good poker face, which seemed to be almost the only face he could make outside of a smirk. “I guess I'll stay.”

Doze turned to his cards, and announced that he would also be staying. We all looked at our last player, Sawbuck. Sawbuck, despite his looks, had turned out to be a great player, and had won about four out of the last six games. Even Doze was starting to worry that Sawbuck would be taking home all of our money. “Hit,” Sawbuck told Doze, and Doze handed him a card. An ace of diamonds. Sawbuck grinned, and flipped his cards out on the table. Along with the ace, we could clearly see a five of spades and a five of hearts. Victory. Trace and I audibly groaned, and Doze pushed a small pile of money towards Sawbuck, who pushed it over to the side with his other winnings.

“That's it, I'm out,” Trace said, standing and pushing his chair in. I could feel my eye twitch. My last few dollars. I could've gotten started on that new set of pins I was intending to make with that money. I slowly and deliberately removed the voodoo doll from my pocket with my left hand, and removed a pin from my other pocket with my right hand. I was beginning to tire of this timeline. I raised the pin to pierce the doll. Trace saw the doll, and his eyes widened in shock. “Wait, Die-“

I wasn't able to hear his whole sentence before I heard the strange, high sound of a transfer between timelines. I had grown used to the noise, and it had become almost comforting, contrasting with the usual headache that timeline transfer had a tendency to cause. I opened my eyes and stared at the new landscape, frowning slightly. Why on earth would I end up in some blank wasteland by using a pin? I turned to look at the doll and I could practically feel my heart skip a beat.

I had inserted Snowman's pin.

[Tenebrais]

Okay, I haven't yet caught up on everything I've missed, so I must remember to read back from page 56. For now though I've written something, that being the meteor apocalypse from the perspective of non-players. If you're confused, the spoilers alternate between two different characters except the last, though that should be fairly obvious.

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It was way too hot. The air conditioning in my apartment sucked, and wasn't very good at it, either. I couldn't really focus on my writing in that heat, and it didn't help that the walls of this place are paper-thin – I could hear the kid on the floor above screwing with his beat machine, which made everything worse. It wasn't the kind of city you could just go out and take a walk in either, so I was stuck with it, lying exhausted on my bed, trying to enjoy the sound of what that kid was doing rather than just get annoyed by it.
The sun was just setting. With the heat haze it looked like it was starting to go down long before normal. How does that even work? I don't know. I couldn't wait for it to sink below the horizon once and for all. Then maybe it'd be cool enough to get some work done.

A bit later, the kid stopped messing with his music and must have gone to do something else. The air con had broken down completely, so I went to open the window, but there was a huge crow standing right on the sill outside. I didn't want to let it in. The whole building was swarming with them, by the looks of it. Crows don't normally do that. More alarming, though, was the sight of the city. Bright flashes everywhere. They looked sort of like little rocks falling from the sky. I started to panic.

It's a few hours later now that I'm writing this. My boyfriend had managed to navigate the horrible mess of the city's roads to rescue me. We've stopped a good way from the city to watch; there's a whole shower of meteors pouring into it. It's really quite pretty, even if both our homes are in there.

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There's something not quite write on the air today. I can't quite place it. My lapine lusus is pretty spooked by something, and she's a vicious animal. I'm not even sure if I've ever seen her scared before, except when I've been in danger. That's often enough with the kind of wildlife you get round here, though between Bannog and the huntress girl in the cave hive it's mostly kept in check. Whatever out there is frightening her, it must be pretty big.

There's a hint of glow in the sky, which isn't right for this time of sweep. We won't be seeing the sun for a good while yet, and in any case the sky is the wrong colour for it – it's kind of reddish. Maybe a forest fire somewhere? It'd have to be a big one to get the whole sky like that, so probably not. It's windier than normal too, and while that's not really worth noting, it might be related.

I've been trying to find out what's spooking Bannog. No luck. She's normally pretty easy to read, too. I can't even tell if the danger is from above, or below, or out on the ground. All I can guess is that the world is ending.

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Everything's going to hell. Half of the city is in ruins now, I think – most of the tall buildings have collapsed. A good few still stand, though, toward the city centre. I'm pretty sure the one I live in is among them. Looking through my boyfriend's binoculars I can just about make it out. There's some activity on the roof, which is weird. Something white up there that I've never seen before. I thought I saw a dog there too, but when I blinked it had gone. What the hell is going on?

There's a really huge meteor hanging above the city now. It's either going very slow or it's really big. We should probably get somewhere further away. The blast from that thing could level the whole city, and might just kill us too.

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Earthquake. We never get them around here, so I'm pretty damn worried. I'm holding Bannog to my chest, trying to reassure her, but my heart just isn't in it. I'm scared too.
The hive is probably going to collapse soon. We should get out of here. I already heard what sounds like a cave-in from the huntress girl's hive. It sounds like she's crying. I'd go over and see what's going on there, but, frankly, I don't want to go outside.
I'm in the front room writing this now, so I can get out in a hurry if I need to. But I feel safer here. At least for now.

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I managed to see the blast through the car's wing mirror. I'm glad we got moving further away. We're lucky to have escaped with our lives – a lot of people probably just died. I hope my friends have got out, but I have doubts. For now, though, we have to get somewhere safe.

It's not easy. There are meteors falling everywhere now. Not quite as thickly as in the city, but enough that I don't want to stay in any one place too long. There are no cars on the roads now; everyone else who escaped the city are probably much further away by now, and certainly nobody's heading toward it. That doesn't mean the roads are clear, though. Trees have fallen everywhere, and landslides too. There are even a few craters where space rocks have hit the road directly.

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The cave-hive just vanished in a flash of light. I have no idea what just happened there. What happened to the girl and her cat? Is she dead? Somewhere else? I don't know. What I do know is that one of the arms on my star-shaped hive just caved in and I'm not waiting around for the rest of it to fall.

Bannog and I are sitting in the open, now, on a hill not far from our hive. There's no one else around. There were only three hives in the area anyway, and the guy in the third one got culled not too long ago. I really should have learned their names. Now I'll never get the chance.
Just over the crest of the hill I can see someone. There's something really strange about him. He has no face at all, not even horns. Just a blank white ball for a head, and a white suit. He's looking at the crater where the cave-hive just stood, I think. I don't think he's noticed me. I don't think I want him to.

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We've managed to find a shack some way off the road. My boyfriend's car has broken down, clogged with dirt and dust and sand. The meteors are doing something strange. The winds are really strong now, and the ground's started shaking. Whoever lived in this shack must have been tending some plants in a garden, but it's been torn up by the strong winds and shifting ground. I can scarcely imagine what might be happening if this isn't localised.

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We couldn't get very far by ourselves. The white man vanished. I can still see what's left of my hive off in the distance. I at least had the foresight to pack something to sleep in, because I really do not want to be indoors tonight.
That's if I can get to sleep. There are meteors falling now. A pretty large meteor just obliterated the space where the cave-hive used to be. I could feel the heat from it. I really, really have to get away from here, as fast as I can. Scanning the horizon, I can see something way, way off in the distance. Looks like there was a forest fire after all. That will be no good for shelter. I can't see anything else that could do either. I guess I'm just walking for now.

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The meteors must have stopped overnight. There are no flashes of light any more, and I can't hear any explosions. It is by no means calm, though. The winds are stronger than ever, and the earthquakes haven't stopped. This shack will probably collapse, and not long now, I think. But we can't go anywhere, either – the car is still not working and it's not safe to stay outside in this weather. I hope it lets up. For now, we're trapped.

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I've been walking. I haven't slept. I got as far as the burning forest, and it's still alight. I'm working my around it. Carrying Bannog around is quite troublesome, too, and she's too scared to run alongside me. Meteors are coming down thick and fast, too, but none as bad or as close as the one that hit the cave-hive. We have a long way to go yet. I don't even know where we're going.

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Nothing has changed. It's been a few days. We've run out of food, and the winds and quakes have only got worse. We can't go outside, and we can't stay here. The ceiling will give at any moment.

We're going to die here.

I leave here my record of our journey that, should anyone that survives find it, they may know what happened here, and to us. Perhaps you may find what remains of our bodies, together at the end.

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We're doomed. Trapped in a ring of fire, and it's closing in. There's nothing I can do. I'm clutching Bannog to my chest, fearing the end. I spent my last moments running from the apocalypse. Not the worst death, I suppose, but could be much better.

Ah, well.

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Years in the future, but not many…

Two exiles search the desert, one white, one black. One reads a miraculously-preserved notepad, one reads from what remains of a computer. One stays, and pays her respects to the departed. One ignores, and moves on.

[Orange]

Review under the spoiler, Tenebrais~

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I like the implication that, in the last paragraph, they're both basically following instructions. One staying, attempting to inscribe the record into their memory so as to properly honor them. One leaving, thinking to himself: "Ah well indeed."

I also like the little hints here and there about where the Earth-folk are. When I saw that you had written from the perspective of an average troll, I was super-excited! And admittedly those were my favorite parts. It was the little inclusions; that she should've gotten to know the culled troll's name-- and don't even get me started on how creepy you made Doc Scratch and Becquerel. Or, more to the point, how accurately you depicted their intimidation factor to people who have no idea what's going on. Frankly both would terrify me, of course.

And on the endings for each respective perspective: I feel you accomplished what you set out to do. The Earthfolk side made me feel for their loss, and for how what they had gone through might never have been known; that they might just end up being another forgotten memory in the folds of infinite space.

Whereas the Trollspective made me relate to the other side of the coin. She had done all that she could, walked as far as she was able, and thought of all of the possibilities that were available to her. And, knowing that there was nothing left to do, she felt the acceptance that comes with absolute, inarguable imminent death. It's been fun. Ah, well.

[nextian]

Blurrrr accidental doublepost.

[nextian]

Tenebrais, that might be the best thing you've written so far. That was very affecting.

Also, thanks Superstar (and pesterlite!) I'm gonna soldier ahead with it now I'm armed with a family tree.

[Red Pen]

shimmercat: I'd have to disagree with Tezrial (sorry Tezrial). I thought Dave seemed really in character throughout. I took it not as him trying to be harsh, but him being a thirteen year old kid who a lot of really really horrible stuff has just happened to. If he comes off as callous it's because he's not considering Rose's feelings - he's just trying to keep himself going and his usual coping mechanism, humor, just suddenly isn't working the way it used to. That's what I read into it, anyway.

breccia: I typed up a big long review for that fanfic, but then the forum died on me and I lost it. So in brief: everybody is well-characterized, Karkat's banter with Aradia made me crack up, and Karkat/Sollux is suddenly adorable.

Responses to comments on my stuff!

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I love this and every other thing in this thread. Also Unhinged reminds me of this fanart I saw, forgot the artist though:

http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc36 ... foryou.png

I remember that fanart! (Although I don't recall whose it was either.) Seems like something CD would do.

Red Pen: I admit to going "oooooooh!" at the Dignitary's double...triple?...several kinds of dealing. Nice use of a tricky character.

Thank you. Droog/Dignitary is one of my favorite characters, so he's fun to write for, especially since I've somehow ended up characterizing him in this as Jack's mother/nagging spouse. Um...

Absolutely amazing. Even Jack's distrust of the entire nation is there! Our Noirs are the saaaaaaaaame. Keep up the amazing work!
EDIT: Oh, and the "Jack ran the entire Kingdom but the monarchs got the glory" thing popped up on my formspring, too. This is weeeeeeeeird.

Thanks. That's not too surprising; I've been following your formspring pretty religiously lately and that's gotta effect how I write.

Red Pen - Another chapter Droll is adorable and Jack really needs to figure out you're supposed to use someone you don't like to test for poison, not one of your only allies. Kinda :/ about the monarchs being incompetent thing, I really don't like that fanon but I guess I can see why you're using it (It's hard liking opposed characters sometimes...) I like that you're writing Jack as reasonable rather than flying off the handle about everything, and just, characters interacting, everything they say is just so perfect.

I'm not sure they were incompetent so much as they were a lot better at delegating the right jobs to the right people. When you've got a kingdom at war to worry about, it helps to have somebody else do the paperwork.

[Eco-Mono]

Red Pen: I admit to going "oooooooh!" at the Dignitary's double...triple?...several kinds of dealing. Nice use of a tricky character.

Thank you. Droog/Dignitary is one of my favorite characters, so he's fun to write for, especially since I've somehow ended up characterizing him in this as Jack's mother/nagging spouse. Um...

Absolutely amazing. Even Jack's distrust of the entire nation is there! Our Noirs are the saaaaaaaaame. Keep up the amazing work!
EDIT: Oh, and the "Jack ran the entire Kingdom but the monarchs got the glory" thing popped up on my formspring, too. This is weeeeeeeeird.

Thanks. That's not too surprising; I've been following your formspring pretty religiously lately and that's gotta effect how I write.

These two points are kind of interesting to me. It seems like, compared to the King, the Queen was the one keeping things running, but in a different way, compared to the Queen, Noir was the one keeping things running. And now with Noir as the dictator, DD is the one keeping things running.

Not sure where exactly I'm going with this, just sort of... struck by how much has stayed the same despite having changed.

[Superstar]

This was Boring. Completely and Utterly Boring. Despite the fact he was already here, that he was already free. he was still imprisoned. Which meant that boredom was the first thing to take place.

Insanity would normally be the second, but what use is insanity to those already insane? Yes, that wasn't supposed to make sense. A lot of things he does are not supposed to make sense.

After all, he has an eternity to spend here. Hahahaha Oh yes. The time he spent here was wisely spent. Why quite a large amount was spent picking his name... Oh dear what was the name he had decided to pick when he was free again? Ah yes, that's right, it was Lord English. Oh it practically sent shivers down his mind.

To see the fear inspired in his foes. How would he drive them into a panic this time? Drive their wits from them? Tapping his non-existent fingers, he smiled.

Nothing existed in this void but his mind. Yet after a while, the mind played tricks on itself. But this was no trick, the vision before his eyes. He had found his answer. It was Beautiful.

Meteors.

Figured I'd re-post this from the forapocalypse literature thread. Cus it is fan-fiction. Just a little Lord English piece, I'll probably go back and edit in the glowing eyeball gif. A lot. Gonna have to do that for it all I think. Ugh.

[Summergale]

EDIT: Alright nevermind.

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Aradia can feel her life slipping through her fingers. It feels like her skin is on fire, like a thousand daggers driven into the softest parts of her skin, or a swarm of wasps, or any number of other things. She can't feel her lusus any more. The voices - so many of them, she's never heard this many before - soothe the pain and whisper soft words.

This was meant to happen.
Everything will be fine.
Just try and relax.

She shudders in pain and opens her eyes. Sollux is holding her; she whimpers in pain at the touch on her burnt skin. She feels tears, warm and dripping onto her face. He's crying over her.

It was supposed to go like this. Don't worry.

"Please... please don't cry, Solly..." she whispers through cracked and dry lips. "I don't blame you."
The sharp tang of dark red blood bursts against her tongue; she's split open the blisters. Sollux isn't wearing his glasses, she notices absentmindedly, and she can see the sticky gold smeared around his mouth. Mind honey. Under no circumstances does he eat the mind honey... unless, of course, Vriska Serket tells him to. He chokes back a sob and strokes her face, before saying something. It's muffled by tears, and her fading hearing doesn't catch it all.
"...radi... I'm sorry... ...ove you... ...didn't mean to..."

The voices call her, welcome with metaphorical open arms.

It will stop hurting soon, Aradia.
Let go. Come with us. Please.
Don't worry.

"Solly... Love you." she mumbles, smiling as the world fades.

Hello, Aradia. It's nice to see you.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Hey fan-ficers. We are quickly approaching the one-year anniversary of this thread! It was July 31st, 2009 when I first made this thread. I'll be writing out some fan-fic to mark the day and I heartily suggest others to write some fan-fic as well. We've had a years worth of prose to look over; we should really hold ourselves a party to celebrate!

Edit: And don't worry about the tons of ruined spoilers in this thread. A fix is being worked on and will be implemented in a couple days. I think there is a spoiler option right now (just the old spoilers haven't been retrofitted yet) so just spoiler new fics with the current spoilers; old ones will be brought up to date as far as I understand.

[Orange]

Yes! this sounds like a wonderful idea! I wasn't here at the beginning, but this is probably among my favoritest of threads on the entire fora.

I shall try to prepare for this event.

[Zuki]

I'll try to inaugurate the thread's birthday with a couple chapters of the old 'Jade is a Werewolf' story.
You all know, the one i was trying off and on to write almost since this thread existed?

Wow. I've been talking shit for a whole year about that then.

[Valter]

I can confirm that spoiler tags still work. Here, I will demonstrate:

Jack's Plan

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Jack flew back to the Battlefield desperately. He needed to find his lackey, CD, but where could he be? If only the idiot still had that ostentatious hat of his, it might be a bit easier to locate him.

Jack eventually found CD hiding behind some rocks. He was an excellent thief, but a terrible fighter. The Battlefield was probably an immense strain on him.

...Whatever. He could suck it up. "CD! Hop aboard! There's been a slight change of plans."

CD clambered onto Jack's shoulders. "Eh? What's going on?"

Jack took off into the air once again, once CD was properly hanging on. "I, uh, can't grab the White Ring as things currently stand. I'm going to need to get more power from elsewhere."

"More power? Where do you intend to get it from?"

"I was thinking I would draft the survivors left on Skaia to help me."

CD nearly did a spit-take at this. "What? Every single carapace still alive on Skaia hates your guts right now, Jack. You perforated the planet with your ring and then dropped a moon on it!"

"Well," Jack responded with a sly smile, "I have a plan. DD's already at the destination. CD, do you still have your clarinet?"

CD gasped. "Surely you don't intend to- without HB-"

"I do intend to, CD, and I need you to answer me honestly: do we really need HB's help to finish this?"

"N- no...." CD gulped. The Skaian's certainly did hate Jack right now... but Jack was the greatest Jazz musician since Father "Blind Pappy" Ramblin' Jackson.

If he brought his legendary piano skills to the stage... the crowd would be eating out of his hands in minutes, no matter how many of their comrades he had killed beforehand.

Fic idea by Solaris. Blame him.

[Solaris]

I can confirm that spoiler tags still work. Here, I will demonstrate:

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Jack flew back to the Battlefield desperately. He needed to find his lackey, CD, but where could he be? If only the idiot still had that ostentatious hat of his, it might be a bit easier to locate him.

Jack eventually found CD hiding behind some rocks. He was an excellent thief, but a terrible fighter. The Battlefield was probably an immense strain on him.

...Whatever. He could suck it up. "CD! Hop aboard! There's been a slight change of plans."

CD clambered onto Jack's shoulders. "Eh? What's going on?"

Jack took off into the air once again, once CD was properly hanging on. "I, uh, can't grab the White Ring as things currently stand. I'm going to need to get more power from elsewhere."

"More power? Where do you intend to get it from?"

"I was thinking I would draft the survivors left on Skaia to help me."

CD nearly did a spit-take at this. "What? Every single carapace still alive on Skaia hates your guts right now, Jack. You perforated the planet with your ring and then dropped a moon on it!"

"Well," Jack responded with a sly smile, "I have a plan. DD's already at the destination. CD, do you still have your clarinet?"

CD gasped. "Surely you don't intend to- without HB-"

"I do intend to, CD, and I need you to answer me honestly: do we really need HB's help to finish this?"

"N- no...." CD gulped. The Skaian's certainly did hate Jack right now... but Jack was the greatest Jazz musician since Father "Blind Pappy" Ramblin' Jackson.

If he brought his legendary piano skills to the stage... the crowd would be eating out of his hands in minutes, no matter how many of their comrades he had killed beforehand.

Fic idea by Solaris. Blame him.

Awesome Glad to have helped, also, I will make sure my fic is not a sack of poo for the anniversary in 9 days.