MSPA fan-fiction

[Metaflare]

Yay. DEFINATELY yay. Hell, I've been thinking about it myself for a while now.

"OBJ3CT1ON! TH1S P1CTUR3 1S 1N BL4CK 4ND WH1T3. HOW C4N W3 T3LL 1F 1T'S BLOOD OR W1N3?"
"PYROPE, YOU'RE BLIND. HOW COULD YOU-"
*lick*
"...NEVERMIND."

[Sir Screwloose]

Okay, quick question:

Do most people write their fics directly in the reply box, or do you write it on something like word and then copypaste it?

[Red Pen]

It's copypaste for me; I like to be able to save and come back to it later.

[Solaris]

I don't know about everyone else, but I think that copying and pasting it makes slightly more sense.

[reclusiveAmateur]

I fiddle with things too long to type them in a reply box...

also ohmigodohmigodohmigod fanart ohmigodohmigodohmigod O_O !! nextian you are awesome

Also, saras Is that echoes of Persona 2 I sense? Oh lord

[OracleEngineer]

You are in luck!
Here we are in the middle of making a FAN-FICTION ARCHIVE
Perhaps you may find more there?
And I believe you are referring to the Radio Logs. Because Its Midnight?
Those were made by I-Gor and Mr. Diskette.
They also did three wonderful Troll-Logs.
I hope you post here more oftern~

Actually I looked back and saw it was Red Pen's Unhinged one. :B I love it so much I saved it to my computer so I can re-read it whenever I want without searching a billion pages for it.

[Solaris]

But... HB is dead in those fics....
OH WELL
Yeah, Red Pen took a ridiculous idea and she made it work.
And it is awesome.
I wish we could get a billion pages of Fan-Fiction of the quality we get.
That would rock.
I don't think anyone has ever written anything bad here.
IT IS MAGICAL

[sarasvati]

I fiddle with things too long to type them in a reply box...

also ohmigodohmigodohmigod fanart ohmigodohmigodohmigod O_O !! nextian you are awesome

Also, saras Is that echoes of Persona 2 I sense? Oh lord

YES!! I was hoping someone would catch that, I love P2 like burning

[AwakenedSamus]

Romantic Fanfiction %post for the lulz. I wrote this with some help from thelogman.

Comments and tips are much appreciated, the goal of the project was to get characterization and style as canon as possible.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Upon the KNIGHT OF BLOOD'S heroic arrival to the LAND OF CUTE AND JUNGLES ...

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CG: KARKAT CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS ONCE AGAIN LIVING
CG: OUT ONE OF NEPETA'S RIDICULOUS GIRL FANTASIES.
CG: HOWEVER KARKAT DECIDES HE HAS TO SO HE CAN
CG: SAVE EVERYBODY'S ASS FROM CERTAIN DESTRUCTION.
AC: :33 < *ac unfurls herself from her napping purrsition*
AC: :33 < *she lazily walks up to karkat and curls in his lap*
AC: :33 < welcome to my cave! isn't it pawsibly the cutest
AC: :33 < cave you've ever seen?
CG: OH YEAH I CANNOT GET OVER HOW "CUTE" ALL OF
CG: THESE GUTTED BEAST SKINS ARE.
CG: DO YOU REALIZE HOW INCREDIBLY DISGUSTING WALKING
CG: OVER A DRAGONGATOR SKIN TO GET INTO THIS DUMP WAS?
AC: :33 < *ac picks up the dragongator in her one mouth*
AC: :33 < *and wears a big grin with her other mouth*
AC: :33 < *she gently drops the dragongator at cg's feet*
AC: :33 < i meant to give you mr. gator as a present :33
CG: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?
CG: AS THE WISE AND AMBITIOUS LEADER OF THE RED TEAM
CG: I HAVE TO LEAD US THROUGH YOUR FRUSTRATING PLANETS
CG: TO THE BATTLEGROUND SO WE CAN KICK THIS GAME'S ASS.
CG: DO YOU REALIZE HOW LITTLE FUCKING TIME WE HAVE?
AC: x33 < yessssss! sollux already flipped out and told me!
CG: GOOD.
CG: THEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHERE YOUR ...
CG: WAIT WHAT NO.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE DRAWINGS.
CG: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO.
CG: THE FUCK?
CG: HAVE YOU PAIRED ALL OF US IN MATINGSPRIT AND MOIRALLEGIENCES?
CG: THIS IS UTTERLY REVOLTING. YOU DREW ME TOGETHER WITH GAMZEE!
CG: OH JEGUS IS HE LICKING MY HORN?
CG: UGH MY BONE BULGE IS ACHING. I CAN'T UNSEE ANY OF THIS.
AC: ( < *ac curls up into karkat's lap and frowns with both mouths*
AC: ( < that's my shipping wall and it only examines the pawsiblities
AC: ( < i mean possibilities. i'm being completely serious right now
AC: ( < i just wondered if you and gamzee might be best friends like me and ct
CG: SO YOU WONDERED IF I HELD ANY PITY IN MY LOBE STEM FOR THAT GUY?
CG: THE ANSWER IS NO. NO TROLL CAN PITY HIM ENOUGH FOR THAT TO BE CONCIEVABLE!
CG: COMPLETELY AN IMPOSSIBILITY PROVEN BY SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.
CG: I CONDUCTED THE EXPERIMENT
CG: AND THEN I COLLECTED THE RESULTS
CG: AND WROTE THE REPORT
CG: AND THE TITLE OF THE REPORT WAS
CG: NO FUCKING WAY.
CG: YOU SEEM TO TAKE ANALYZING ROMANTIC TENDENCIES VERY SERIOUSLY.
AC: :33 < oh yesh! it's so fun to look at all of the pawsible couples
AC: :33 < and ship them together!
CG: OH MY GOG WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.
CG: YOU PUT US TOGETHER AS MATINGSPRITS?
CG: YOU EVEN WROTE BESIDE IT “yesssssssssss”!
CG: YOU WANT TO REDROM ME!
AC: ( < i'm soooooooorry
AC: ( < no one else noticed
CG: DAMN! YOU LOOK READY TO POUNCE ON ME!
CG: SHIT.
CG: SHIT.
CG: SHIT.
AC: :33 < *ac leaps out of cg's lap and onto his back*
CG: SHIT.
AC: :33 < *ac starts nibbling at karkat's ear and pawwing his backside*
CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
AC: :33 < *ac starts purring softly in his ear*
CG: DAMNIT WHY DO I LIKE THIS?
CG: WHAT FREAKY MIND POWERS DO YOU HAVE?
AC: :33 < nothing i'm just purrhaps the cutest troll you've ever seen ;33
CG: WHAT. NEVERMIND.
CG: YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO PAIR ME OFF WITH ANYONE!
CG: MY ROMANTIC LIFE IS MY BUSINESS AND RIGHT NOW IT'S A VERY
CG: BORING BUSINESS. MY ROMANTIC LIFE IS CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED
CG: AND NEEDS A REALLY BIG STIMULUS PACKAGE SIGNED BY TROLL OBUMA.
AC: x33 < i told you karkat this is only a pawsibility
AC: x33 < i take shipping my trolls very seriously
AC: :33 < *ac snuggles closer to karkat and takes a long nap*
AC: :33 < *ac wakes up with big smiles on her face!*
CG: OKAY.
CG: I GUESS IT'S KIND OF COOL THAT YOU ENJOY ANALYZING THE COMPLEX
CG: MACHINATIONS OF THE TROLL ROMANTIC PSYCHE.
AC: :33 < do you mean shipping?
CG: I MEAN COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS!
CG: GEEZ HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED A ROMANTIC COMEDY?
AC: :33 < noez (
CG: THATS WHY THERE ISN'T ANY BLACKROM HERE!
CG: YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY IGNORANT.
AC: :33 < i know about blackrom but it's so dangerous x33
AC: :33 < i only like safe and friendly shipping!
CG: YOU ARE INCREDIBLY SHORT SIGHTED.
CG: IT'S LIKE IN "TROLL ADAM SANDLER IS A DOWN ON HIS LUCK
CG: GUTTERBLOOD WHO IS TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT TROLL TO DISPLAY
CG: MATING FONDESS TOWARDS AND SO HE SEARCHES ALL THROUGHOUT
CG: VARIOUS DRINKING STATIONS LOOKING FOR HIS ONLY MATCH AND
CG: HE FINALLY FINDS HER BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT THIS PARTICULAR TROLL
CG: IS TWO NODES SHORT OF A BRAIN STEM AND CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER
CG: EACH NIGHTS MATING WITH TROLL SANDLER AND THIS CAUSES A VAREITY
CG: OF HILARIOUS SITUATIONS WHERE TROLL BARRYMORE BEATS HIM
CG: SENSELESS AND LEADS TO SOME VERY DARK AND DIRE SITUATIONS
CG: THAT WOULD BE CLASSIFIED UNDER BLACKROM AND IS UNINTENIONALLY
CG: HILARIOUS UNBEKNOWNST TO THE CHARACTERS AND THIS LEADS TO
CG: A FINAL AND SATISFYING CONCLUSION THAT MAKES THE REST OF
CG: THE STORY A BUILD UP FOR THE FINALE, WHICH CONTAINS ONE
CG: (1) REFERENCE TO MATING, ONE (1) DISPLAY OF MATING FONDNESS,
CG: AND AN ENDING THAT SUGGESTS SUBSEQUENT DISPLAYS OF MATING FONDNESS"
CG: SEE? THAT IS COMPLEX INTERACTION.
CG: IT'S AMAZING.
AC: :33 < *ac licks karkat's face as cutely as she can!*
AC: :33 < we should watch it some time together
CG: UMM.
CG: yeah.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CG: OH DAMNIT!
CG: YOU GOT ME OFF TRACK.
CG: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC AND DISGUSTING.
CG: I HAVE TO REACH MY DENIZEN.
CG: WHERE IS THE GATE ON THIS PLANET?
AC: :33 < *ac shows cg her bloody paws*
AC: :33 < just follow the blood trails
AC: :33 < it's how i get around :33
CG: OKAY.
CG: TALK TO YOU LATER.
CG: bye.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

[Red Pen]

But... HB is dead in those fics....
OH WELL
Yeah, Red Pen took a ridiculous idea and she made it work.
And it is awesome.
I wish we could get a billion pages of Fan-Fiction of the quality we get.
That would rock.
I don't think anyone has ever written anything bad here.
IT IS MAGICAL

Oh gosh you guys are talking about me and saying nice things. I'm actually working on part six RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND so that is nice motivation. (Motivation enough to make me get off forums and back to actually typing the thing? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.)

Actually, I think you're forgetting the Zazzerslash one OH WAIT you said something bad. Nevermind then.

EDIT: Hey, I was ninja'd by an awesome romfic! I like that a lot!

[OracleEngineer]

But... HB is dead in those fics....
OH WELL
Yeah, Red Pen took a ridiculous idea and she made it work.
And it is awesome.
I wish we could get a billion pages of Fan-Fiction of the quality we get.
That would rock.
I don't think anyone has ever written anything bad here.
IT IS MAGICAL

I guess I'm just a sucker for sad fics. ♥

She didn't just make it work, she made it unbelievably awesome.

[OracleEngineer]

Oh gosh you guys are talking about me and saying nice things. I'm actually working on part six RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND so that is nice motivation. (Motivation enough to make me get off forums and back to actually typing the thing? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.)

Actually, I think you're forgetting the Zazzerslah one OH WAIT you said something bad. Nevermind then.

♥ I'm going to lurk on here all night looking for part 6, then.

Even though I've been lurking on here all night anyways. Why waste time sleeping?

[Red Pen]

You might not want to do that, I probably won't have it up tonight. But, um, will a bit of a teaser suffice?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

"Your plan is actually working." Draconian was a little stunned by that.

"I wonder what they're talking about?"

The Dignitary looked to the screen and observed the vehement hand gesture Jack was currently making. "The Black Queen. Definitely the Black Queen."

[OracleEngineer]

Lurking is what I do.

Take your time, I'll just sit in this here corner and wait. :B

[Cathartes]

Whatever happened to Gabu? I'm desperate for some more sadfics from Gabu. I just reread both of his (her?) stories. Somehow he (she?) makes that kind of drama so amazing to read!

[Red Pen]

Here OracleEngineer, I finished it tonight just for you and your lurkerness!

I'm not sure why this part is so much longer than the last one, but there you have it. (And huge props must go to SovereignSlayer on formspring for inspiring Jack's little rant. )

Part 1: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3880657
Part 2: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3882155
Part 3: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3899736
Part 4: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3904475
Part 5: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3927875

Unhinged - part 6

show spoiler

hide spoiler

With sedate eyes Rose glanced over the top of the large hardback book in her hands as Jack Noir closed the door behind himself and walked over to stand in front of her armchair. She noted that he didn't look angry this time, merely harried and tired. With a small smile she closed the book and set it aside so that she could look up at him expectantly, her hands clasped in her lap.

"Yes?"

"You sent for help," he stated without preface.

Rose kept her face smooth and innocently honest - the expression she always wore in viciously passive conversations with her mother. "I'm not sure what you're implying. Your imps are watching my other body, so when would I have had the opportunity?"

In one quick, almost casual motion, his hand swept forward and grasped her by the hair, and Rose gritted her teeth to suppress a gasp - more of surprise than pain - as he easily wrenched her head back so that her chin was forced upward at an uncomfortable angle and she was compelled to look him in the eye. "I'm not in the mood for this sh*t, Lalonde."

"Yes, I sent for... help," Rose admitted, all too aware of his cold, petrous knuckles against her skull. "Is... is witty banter too much to ask?"

"I told you not to do anything stupid. You want to gamble with your life on that then fine by me, but don't act surprised when you get caught."

"Well if you'd like to argue semantics," Rose countered, grasping at the knowledge that if he hadn't burst lividly into the room then he probably wasn't mad enough at her to act on it, "I wouldn't call that stupid. I'm in a hostage situation, and it seems the most intelligent course of action would be to search for a means of escape. It would have been stupid NOT to send for help."

In answer he forced her head back farther, and she hissed and shut her eyes. The book on the armrest beside her fell to the floor with a dull thunk. Stop trying to be clever, Rose. This isn't Dave you're dealing with, it's the Sovereign Slayer, and he will kill you if you make a mistake. Tell him what he wants to hear.

"I'm... you, you're right. I shouldn't have... but I didn't know what else to do and... I just wanted my friends to know where I was. That's all."

"Congratulations, Lalonde, they know where you are." At last he let go, and Rose slumped dejectedly back into the chair with a flood of frustration that always accompanied losing some small battle. She rubbed halfheartedly at the back of her head. "And now I have to deal with the fact that your little human boyfriend is coming to get you."

Her heart jumped into her throat for a moment. "John?"

"I don't know your names, and quite honestly I don't care. But if he sets one foot in my palace he's dead." It surprised her to see that there was the faintest hint of a smile on Jack's face. "Maybe we can have him stuffed for you, like the other girl. I hear you humans are into that."

"I'd like that," she answered, without missing a beat.

They stared across the room at each other for a moment, and Rose held her breath while trying not to look like she was holding her breath. No matter how much she wanted to lash out at him, one angry comment would ruin everything, and so she waited it out with an expressionless look on her face.

But he knew he'd gotten to her. "I'll bet you would."

She didn't reply; simply waited for him to leave. Forget what she'd promised Draconian; she had nothing more to say to Jack. In her lap her fingernails were digging into her palms, so tightly were her hands knotted together. With a slow breath she looked down at them and pulled them apart, finger by finger, and as each uncurled she imagined increasingly horrible things happening to the Dersite still standing over her.

When she looked up again Jack was already opening the door.

No, said some calm, logical, and extremely infuriated part of her mind. I'm not ending it on this note. I am Rose Lalonde; I do not sulk, I tear apart souls with precision and passive-agressive wrath.

And besides, I have a job to do.

"Mr. Noir?"

She gave a small start when he abruptly slammed the door shut again and glared at her over his shoulder.

"This habit you have of making snide little comments every time I walk out the door is going to stop now, or gods damn it you can make do with one less limb."

Casting around for something, anything, to say that would validate her having stopped him, Rose quickly picked up the hardback book again and held it to her chest, a bit like a shield. "No need to be vexed, I just wanted... to know about these books."

"What." He snapped the word shortly, not even bothering to end it in a question.

She set it down on her knees and flipped open the dark violet cover to reveal the endless rows of symbols printed inside. "I was curious; is this some kind of code? The spoken language here is english, so a written language like this seems out of place."

Jack gave her a blank look, stunned, perhaps, by the conversational whiplash. "How should I know? It was one of HER bizarre obsessions."

"Her?"

"The queen." Even Rose, poetic as she was, could find no way to describe how much utter loathing he put into those two words. There was hate there, the kind that simmered evilly on the backburner of the soul. It was something she could work with.

"Ah." She turned the book around slowly, running her fingers along the text as she did so. "It's rather elegant. Could she read them?"

"It's gaudy and I doubt it."

Rose's mouth twitched into a smirk. "Books, books, everywhere, and not a word to read. How very pointless. She had a lot of these... bizarre obsessions, then?"

There was a long, tense silence, in which she wasn't sure whether or not he was going to just storm out again.

And then, sighing tiredly, Jack sank into the chair beside hers. "You have no idea."

- - - - - - - - - -

The world was a web of red streamers. They were piled atop the control panel for the Wall, tangled up with each other and getting snagged on the dials. They spilled over onto the floor and scrawled across it like little rivers, clashing horribly with the dark violet tile. They hung in curtains from the Fenestrated Wall, turning the screen into a mess of crimson stripes. It looked almost as though someone had exploded, and their inexplicably crate-paper blood had splattered every available surface.

Draconian brushed a few long red strands off of his shoulders with distaste, and tried to rearrange the pile so that he could actually see the controls he was supposed to be manning. Another few rolls of streamers fell to the floor and unwound away, adding to the chaos.

"Droll- Droll. There has to be somewhere else you can put these. I'm trying to work."

"Sure, Draconian," Droll said, scooping up a wad of tangled streamers and trying to balance them in one arm while he scrambled around to collect the ones on the floor. "Sorry, I didn't know you were working. I thought you were just spying on Jack."

Draconian stood up and began tearing down the streamers that were obscuring the massive screen. "Spying on Jack IS work. How many of these did you buy?"

"I didn't know how many we'd need, so I just bought all of them."

"We had a budget for this," Draconian grumbled flatly. "How much did it cost us?"

Droll told him. Draconian stood in silence for a moment.

"...If you value your life you will not tell that to Jack."

He continued pulling streamers away, while behind him Droll protested something about how nice they'd looked when he saw them in store. A view of Rose's reading-room turned prison gradually began to appear, and in it the girl and the Sovereign Slayer were seated in the two tall armchairs, Rose sitting back serenely and occasionally nodding while Jack ranted animatedly, muted on the soundless screen.

"For a man who claims to be so very busy, it's hard to believe he's been at this for forty-five minutes," Draconian commented as the last bit of red paper fell away. "I've never seen him vent like this."

"That's because she's doing it!" the Courtyard Droll said confidently. "I told you she would."

"Your plan is actually working." Draconian was a little stunned by that.

"I wonder what they're talking about?"

The Dignitary looked to the screen and observed the vehement hand gesture Jack was currently making. "The Black Queen. Definitely the Black Queen."

He seated himself back at the control board and flipped a switch, and the view abruptly switched to the outside of the palace, where the four massive kerneltowers loomed against the starless sky. Dwarfed by their size, a point of lighter purple wove uneasily back and forth across them. Draconian zoomed in. Droll dropped his streamers again and stood on tiptoe to peer over the control panel.

"The boy's still checking windows." Dave was trying to find what room Rose was being kept in, but even the Dignitary could see that the task was a futile one. There were thousands, no, hundreds of thousands of windows in one tower alone, and the kid wasn't even searching the right one. He would never find her. Secure in his belief that the Knight of Time couldn't do a thing to hinder them, the tall Dersite switched the wall back to Jack and Rose.

Had someone told him the previous day that an idea this ridiculous actually stood a chance of working, he would have brushed it off as irritating and stupid. And yet everything seemed to be falling perfectly into place. For some reason, that left an unpleasant feeling in the pit of Draconian's stomach, as if something - some small component he hadn't planned for - was about to go horribly, horribly wrong.

Then again, it might have just been the breadsticks.

- - - - - - - - - -

"-and there was this ballgown thing, with these... tinselly frills on it, like anyone in their right mind would ever think that was a good idea to put on an item of clothing, and then she expects me to-"

"Mm-hm," said Rose, nodding in vague agreement.

"-with this disgusting look on her face, like she's just going to sit there and watch while I put it on-"

"Mm-hm."

"-that thing she does with her foot-"

There was a point at which something irrational took over, and suddenly that flood of angry thoughts and little annoyances that had been dammed up for so long broke free, and you kept talking and talking and couldn't stop yourself because if you did you'd drown in it. Rose watched with a calm, supportive smile as Jack purged himself of a lifetime of pent-up malignity, and she could see in his eyes that he couldn't believe what he was saying and yet was physically unable to stop.

"-and the box was right there and I swear it was the most cathartic thing I'd ever done-"

"Mm-hm."

"-and no one gets it that I am trying to run this planet and if they'd all stop being pathetic queen-worshipping sheep for half a second that would make my job so much easier but now everyone wants me dead!" He finished furiously, his one remaining hand grasping the armrest of his chair so tightly that it left incisions in the dark purple fabric.

Rose reached over and gave it an encouraging pat, and he jerked away as if he'd forgotten she was there. "Well done, Jack, I think we've made some excellent progress today."

"I- no!" He shot her a look of pure malice. "What did you do to me?!"

She shook her head. "Nothing whatsoever. No clever wordplay, no tricks or conspiracies, so please don't pull my hair again. I have enough to worry about at the moment without adding the fear of impending baldness." She arranged her face carefully into a look of sincere concern. "What have you been doing to yourself? People do not normally have complete meltdowns over such an innocent comment. When was the last time you slept?"

"Oh gods, not you too."

"Fainting and being dead to the world for an hour or two hardly counts as sleep, you know," she added.

He pushed himself angrily to his feet. "You've been conspiring with Draconian. Gods damn it."

"We may have discussed this ahead of time, yes," she said. "And before you take it out on either of us, perhaps you should be worrying about why your closest friends think you need psychiatric help."

"Dammit dammit dammit, I am never going to hear the end of this." He sank heavily into the chair again and closed his eyes, pressing a hand to his temple. "Dammit."

"I'm sure he's only trying to help," Rose assured him consolingly.

"Maybe I should just... take a nap. Just to shut him up." She could tell that it was merely a feeble justification for something he really, really wanted anyhow, and a smirk flickered across her face.

"I suppose that's your decision. Brave of you, though, to consider sleeping and leaving yourself vulnerable, when everyone in the Medium wants you dead."

It gave her a kind of sadistic pleasure to see the way his eyes snapped open at that.

You shouldn't have brought my friends into this, Jack. You shouldn't have killed the queen and you shouldn't have destroyed Prospit and you positively should not have broken our game, but when you threatened John in front of me you crossed a line. Go ahead and open up to me. Pour out your contemptible soul. I am going to make you unhinged.

Part 7: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3986329

[LeCrab]

This is kind of old but still

I was told by the romart thread to put this here.

So I'll just leave this here. Yea.

I am such a jerk. And a bad writer.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

He sat in his chair staring blankly at the ceiling. Lost in thought he almost did not notice when someone bumped into his chair.
“WoAh, SoRrY tHeRe SoLlUx.”
“eh.”
Gamzee shrugged and ambled off. Sollux had been like that for a while now. Although it had gotten worse recently, no one could figure out why, although a few had some pretty good guesses.

“damniit Aradia, why?” Sollux mumbled. “fuck thii2, ii’m doiing iit.” He looked around for a second to check if the she or her shell were in the room. He could not see her or Equius. “they never are apart!” If anyone heard they chose not to comment. Sollux would just go back to being his regular, less moody self in a few minutes anyway. He always did.

After jiggling his mouse to exit the computer’s screensaver Sollux opened Trollian. Good, Aradia was online, so she must be in her soulbot. His virus would only work on that.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
TA: hey Aradia do you have a miinute? II need two talk two you about something.
AA: uuuuhhh sure?
AA: i d0n’t like the s0und 0f this th0ugh
TA: it2 nothing.
TA: oh can you download the fiile ii ju2t 2ent you real quick?
AA: sure
TA: ii ju2t wanted two congratulate you on getting a new body. ii never got the chance two do 2o before.
AA: why thank y0u s0llux!
TA: ii gue22 even that a22hole can do 2omthiing riight every once and a whiile.
AA: s0llux, is that what this is ab0ut?
AA: i w0uld really appreciate it if you w0uld be nicer t0 him.
TA: why 2hould ii?!
TA: why 2hould you?!
TA: why do you liike hiim?! what ii2 2o great about hiim? he ii2 blueblood 2cum! they kiilled you! he put that chiip in you! iit changed you!
AA: s0llux please understand, i like him n0t because 0f the chip, i destr0yed that right away. we just have s0 much in c0mmen n0w that i am dead. he isn’t like vriska, he may have tried to make me l0ve him, but that is just because he was scared. scared i w0uldn’t l0ve him back 0n my 0wn. he was wr0ng.
TA: fuck hiim! and fuck you! you were the only thing that made me happy aradia, the only thing. then you diied.
TA: but you weren’t really dead, you 2tiill talked to u2! 2o why did you break up wiith me?!
AA: because s0llux, i was pr0tecting y0u!
TA: what?
AA: d0 y0u want to kn0w how i died s0llux?! y0u killed me! with y0ur stupid h0ney! i wanted y0u t0 f0rget me! s0 y0u wouldn’t remember what vriska made y0u do to me!
TA: no!
AA: but y0u have g0ne t00 far this time s0llux! let me be happy n0w that i can! st0p bringing me d0wn with y0u!
TA: ii would never do that to you!
AA: yes y0u w0uld! That’s all you ever did, i tried to be happy for b0th 0f us, to 0nly look at the g00d parts of y0u, but that was never en0ugh f0r y0u!
AA: I am GLAD i died, it gave me a reason to dump y0u and m0ve 0n!
TA: …
AA: 0h my g0sh I am s0 s0rry s0llux, that was uncalled f0r! that was n0t how i feel, it’s just that y0u made me s0 angry!
TA: no. ii know how you feel now.
TA: iit all make2 2en2e now.
TA: you were playing me the whole time.
AA: what? n0! s0llex are y0u even listening t0 me?
TA: iit2 too late for that aradia, ii just activated the viiru2 you downloaded earliier.
AA: what!
TA: aradia, iif ii cannot have you, then no one can.
TA: goodbye aradia, ii loved you
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
AA: wait s0llux!

There. In a few seconds everything would be over. Aradia would be dead, uhh, deader, and Equius with her. This did not comfort Sollux though. He was miserable. He was killing one of his best friends, and taking someone down with her at the same time! There was no swinging up in mood for Sollux anymore, it was only misery and deeper misery.

Aradia’s door was ripped off its hinges by the force of her soulbot exploding. The virus had kept her locked within the replacement body as it was destroyed. She was dead. Forever. All the trolls on the meteor reacted immediately to the explosion, jumping up to see what was wrong.

Almost at the same time as the explosion Equius’s door flew off its hinges, but instead of a fiery mass of shrapnel the muscular troll himself followed it, his laptop in hand. He walked slowly towards Sollux, who was standing behind the other trolls outside Aradia’s broken and burnt room.

Sollux panicked at the sight of the strongest of the trolls, he was supposed to have been there with Aradia, they were always together weren’t they?!

“What have you done Captor!?” The sweat was evaporating off Equius’s body faster than it could be excreted, “IS THIS TRUE!” He shoved his laptop in Sollux’s face. Trollian was active, one window open, showing a conversation between Aradia and Equius. It was painfully brief.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling centuarsTesticles [CT]
AA: equius help!
AA: sollux gave me a virus!
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling centuarsTesticles [CT]

Sollux’s mind was racing as he tried thinking of a way out of this hopeless situation.

Meanwhile Equius finally looked over at the source of the explosion and saw the remains of aradiabot. “No.” He dropped the laptop on Sollux’s foot.

“Ow!” At his voice most of the trolls looked down at the computer screen as Neputa tried comforting the now hysterical Equius.

“Ribbit! Ribbit!” He choked out, looking left and right, as if expecting her to float through one of the walls, perfectly healthy in undeath. “RIBBIT!!!”

Sollux didn’t notice as the other trolls all began shouting angry questions at him.

What have I done?

This was awesome! I love your work.

[Metaflare]

Red. Red Pen. Red Pen I love your work.

[nextian]

Red Pen, you know how you said it was crack? And we were all "we love crack! And this isn't that cracky!" Well we still love crack, but this has been revised from "not that cracky" to "HOLY SHIT ROSE IS A BADASS THIS IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER." So, uh,

[Assassin of Deadpan]

@ Red Pen. Good Crack! I bet it'd be awkward when they tell her it's Dave and not John out there.

[Nickie]

Red Pen

Will you marry me

[Red Pen]

Only if I get to name the children.

[Solaris]

When I heard the title drop I felt a plethora of emotions that I had never felt before.
May I join in on this marriage?
I am male, I am pretty sure that is important somehow.

[Nickie]

...can we name at least one of them Juan though

[Red Pen]

Solaris that depends. How do you feel about the name Juan?