MSPA fan-fiction

[OracleEngineer]

Loved it Paul, like Lotus said it sounds just like John.

I JUST realized John's dad is also his brother. Stupid DNA technicalities.

[Solaris]

Loved it Paul, like Lotus said it sounds just like John.

I JUST realized John's dad is also his brother. Stupid DNA technicalities.

I really think that the funniest part of all of the time Shenanigans with ecto biology is that John is technically his own Father, and his own Great-Grandfather, but not Grandfather.
Not biology-wise, but father as in he made them with the buttons.

[CeeJay]

Loved it Paul, like Lotus said it sounds just like John.

I JUST realized John's dad is also his brother. Stupid DNA technicalities.

Don't worry. It took me a while to think about that too.

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But ANYHOO! @PaulPower, your fic was good. It really sounded like John. I'm with Lotus that "sorry, rose, but your mom's still your mom. no getting out of that one!" was my favorite part.

@Frankie the Tomboy - I never thought of doing the music meme with writing. It seems like it would be fun, but so much of a challenge. Yours all came out nicely written, I'm sure that mine would be utter nonsense. I always toss ideas around in my head for a few days before I can even think of writing them down.

@northernVehemence - Wonderful fic! You're very talented. I like Tavros so much, it's makes me happy to read a story where he has a friend that cares.

[OracleEngineer]

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I laughed harder than I should have at that picture.

[Nevrmore]

I am doing an exercise to write this story with literally no forethought, planning, or editing. Each line is made up as I go along. LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Lusus Cannon

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I exhaled a haze of caustic, green smoke after several drags hom my chiggerette, watching it intermingle with the low-lying fog in the air, dissippating and dissolving like blood in a bathtub. My hands were tucked deep into my coat pockets partially to protect from the breeze and partially so I could safely clutch my two closest friends; My trusty beevolver for when a case got outta hand in one, and my even trustier bottle of lichor for when I needed to get out of hand in the other. I turned them over in my pockets, feeling them, twisting caps and barrels and rubbing their ridges into my palm. Had to keep my textile acuity sharp. Had to keep my fingers dextrous. That's what it takes to be the best. And when a troll calls up Problem Slasher to take on a case, they are expecting the best.

I arrived at the hive and immediately grit my teeth, chagrinned.

"This isn't your scene, tubs." I called out to the rotund man dressed similarly to myself standing amidst the crowd of blue suits. He turned to me and I steeled myself from balking at his face. The bulbous creases in his forehead looked like someone had taken his double-chin and stapled it onto his face again. They weighed down his brow, giving him a permanently angered expression. It made him easy to identify out of a crowd; Lacerace Dick, one of my primary business rivals. "What are you doing here?"

"Problem Slasher. I knew you'd try to snatch this one up. Get out of here; I've already got this case scooped." He waved his hands dismissively at me. I snorted indignantly. Lacerace Dick scooping me? This is a guy too stupid to cut holes in his fedora for his horns to fit through, opting instead to try and balance the brim between them. And he thinks he can scoop me?

"Well that sure does sound odd, Dicky." I said, taking another drag from the squirming chiggerette. "I could'a sworn the only cases you took nowadays was cases to get politicians out of Moirail Scandals. And I don't see one Rendator for miles around with a bone bulge to magnetically attract your mouth to. So once again I ask," I shot a stream of smoke in Dicks' direction. "What are you doing here?" To his credit, LD did not waiver even as the chiggerette smoke began peeling away the epidermal layer of his skin.

"You always were so jealous that I went on to get friends in high places, Slasher. It sure is unbecoming to be envious of a rival's success." Dick pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket, wiping away sweat and curling, rotting flesh from his forehead.

"You wish, pal. I'll take dignity over dough any day of the week." I plucked the drained chig from my lips and crushed it in my hand. Black ooze squeezed out from between my knuckles. I wiped it nonchalantly on my coat.

"Sure, sure." Dick chortled derisively. I'd have punched him right in his goddamn mouth if I wasn't so sure he'd just eat my fist. "In any case, usually around now I would be enjoying my fame and fortune and beautiful women, but I heard about this case. I just couldn't leave it alone, y'know? A kid's lusus goes missing...That can be tough." I hated the guy, but he had a point.

"I hear that..." I said, thinking wistfully back to my own lusus of days past. It was such an asshole. But without it, I would have never discovered my passion for detectivisection. I sighed. "Well, looks like the suits are heading out. You wanna come with me to question the girl?" I asked. I half expected Dick to go off on a tirade again about how this was his case and how scooped I was, but instead he just nodded and said,

"Yeah, alright."

We ducked under the cordoning tape; none of the suits stopped us. They knew that they owed at least half their careers to our combined efforts. As we stepped into the hive, the stench of buttery blood filled our nostrils immediately. We both gagged a bit; In this job you get used to bloodshed quickly, but those damn lusii are like hemoglobin concentrate. Yellowbloods were always the worse, it was like getting asaulted in every orifice by a gnarled penis made of margarine.

"Shit...Looks like this is more than just a 'disappearance.'" I said, surveying the completely destitute state of the hive and the puddles of honeycomb-colored bodily fluids splashing every available surface. I pulled the bottle of lichor out of my pocket. I needed something to make the terrible stench and taste go away. I quickly upturned the bottle, letting the dark swill slowly ooze down my throat. God damn; tastes just like burning.

"So what? You think a kidnapping?" Dick asked, scratching his horn inquisitively.

"Dick normally I'd give you a sarcastic quip to point out how obvious your question is, but...I mean, that seems like the only answer, but what kind of asshole'd kidnap a custodian? What's the point?"

"Ransom?" Dick offered. I screwed the cap back on my lichor and reset it in my pocket.

"No way, they'd have left a note for all the trouble they had to go through. And what would they be expecting from a yellowblood?" I peeled over every inch of the room as I talked. Everything was in shambles; The recuperacoon had been crushed, sopor slime seeping onto the floor. Spiderwebs of cracks skittered across the walls where someone or something had been forcefully thrown. The window was shattered, glass shards everywhere. Even if this was an out-and-out kidnapping, it seems like way too much trouble had been gone through.

"Slasher. Dick. Figures I'd see you guys here." A deep voice called out to us. I turned to see the Chief emerging from a room in the back. His horns curled downward and met point-to-point below his nose at his philtrum, forming what could best be described as a Horn Muttonstache. It was glorious.

"Chief. Always a pleasure." I doffed my fedora at him.

"You know that you're not technically allowed in here, fellas." The Chief said in a somewhat immodest tone.

"Yeah, but you know you're gonna let us stay in, anyway." Dick piped up, once again voicing the obvious.

"Just keep this whole thing quiet, will you?" The Chief pantomimed zipping his mouth up to punctutate the request.

"Mum's the word as always, Chief." I assured. He smiled.

"The lusus' child is in the back room. You can go question her, if you'd like."

"Thanks. You're the best." I patted the Chief on the shoulder as Ace Dick and I walked into the back room. Behind the door, a very emotionally distraught looking child resided. She sat on a chair, bottling up her heart with an angered stare. I was used to the expression. Her horns curled up out of her hair, looking somewhat like corkscrews.

"Hey there." I said as genially as I could. "My name is Problem Slasher, and my friend here is Lacerace Dick. We've come to help you with your lusus' disappearance."

"Are you going to ask me questions, too?" She spat out indignantly. "That's all any of you have done. Ask me questions. I keep telling everyone the same thing: My lusus was named Armadrillo and was about twice as tall as me. The last I saw of her was when I left a few hours ago to go play FLARP. She was gone when I got home. That's all I know, okay??" She folded her arms and slumped back into her seat.

"Hey, hey, we don't mean to offend. We're just trying to help." I said conciliatorily. "Come on. What's your name?" I asked. She hesitated for several seconds.

"Pandra." She said finally.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Pandra." I gave what I hoped was a smile. After years of doing what I do, it kind of becomes tough to remember. "So, you were playing FLARP, you said? That can be a dangerous game, y'know. A lot of very mean people like to play it, and a lot of mean people have trouble dissociating the game from reality..."

"What are you saying?" She asked me.

"Well, do you have any friends you play FLARP with that may have...Gotten mad at you? Mad enough to do something to your lusus?" I asked.

"No..." Pandra replied.

"Geez Slasher, you're starting to sound like Picklehaub Inspector." Dick cut in. I turned to him.

"Well, games and game-related crimes always were PI's specialty. He'd be perfect for this job, y'know."

"Pffft, he's been completely useless ever since he went crazy years back." Dick rolled his eyes.

"He's always been crazy. That's why he was so good at his job. He just forgot how to control it, is all."

"Hi, hey, I'm sure what you guys are saying is important." Pandra interrupted. "But I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, uh, just a friend of ours is all." I replied, caught somewhat off guard.

"Right but see I don't see how that even pertains to this at all so I really don't care and I'd like it if you would stop wasting time with all the asinine tomfoolery and just get this over with." What a mouthy kid.

"...Right. Well, uh...I guess that's all I have for now. Can we take a look around the house?"

"Do whatever you want." She said, turning her gaze away from me. My instinct was to slap her like all flighty broads who need to be put in their place, but I knew she was just a scared and hurt kid who didn't know what to do.

"Thank you, Pandra." I said. Dick and I went back to the main room.

"Well, what are we going to do? This place is way too much of a shitheap to look through for clues." Dick said as we emerged, this time mentally fortifying ourselves for the facial punch of bloodstench. I hated to admit it but he was right, things were in shambles. You'd never figure out how to differentiate between what was a clue and what wasn't. What with the sopor slime and yellow ichor and glass shards everywhere....

"...Glass shards..." I said out loud.

"What?" Ace Dick asked.

"Something shattered the window." I said, moving over to the broken portal. "Glass is pretty dangerous, y'know." I began to sort through the window's remnants. "And y'know, when you've got two or more people in a room that suddenly gets filled with sharp, spiky objects flying through the air, it's pretty hard not to get hit..." I spent a few silenced seconds rummaging around before, "Bingo." I said. "Dick, what color was Armadrillo's blood?"

"Uh, yellow? Duh?" Dick said aloud, indicating all the yellow puddles and stains around the room.

"Then ain't this just so very interesting?" I said, lifting the glass piece up to show it to my partner. Purple blood dripped off its tip.

TO BE CONTINUED?

[breccia]

troll problem sleuth

lol i love you.
i need fanart of Troll Chief and his Horn Muttonstache so bad.

[northernVehemence]

Um, I did another one. I just want to get better!

i thought about what would happen when the other trolls found out about Karkat's blood color. Ummm this is part 1, of probably two or three parts. I don't know.

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Trolls were widely known to be hateful creatures. From birth, they were expected to do whatever it took to survive, which included killing or injuring other trolls in order to have a better chance of furthering their own genetic material. Their language did not include words for “mercy,” “sympathy,” and “love.”

Karkat had always regarded his hatred as something of a strong suit. Hatred was his talent, his forte. He hated each and every other troll that had lived on Alternia, he hated the humans he had been in contact with (as well as the rest of the hideous pink aliens on their godforsaken Earth), and he hated especially the circumstances in which he currently found himself.

You could add up all that hatred, though, multiply it by infinity, and it would still only equal a fraction of the hatred that he felt toward Terezi at this moment.

It started with a few insults. Sollux had been slacking off his trolling duties, and Karkat had to remind him that he had work to do. Karkat had caught him idly working on a few lines of code -- which was stupid, because they were just going to die anyway, so what was the point of creating anything now -- and had set upon him immediately. “Sollux, get your upper phalanges out of your pants and get back to work, fucktard.”

Sollux had turned to face him, sighing. “Really, Karkat? Quit being such an asshole for once in your life. I’m just taking a break.”

“I’m jutht taking a break,” Karkat sung, cruelly imitating Sollux’s speech impediment. “You’re a useless fuck, you know that?” Karkat leaned in close to Sollux, trying to get a rise out of him. “Your skull cavity is so full of bile, you can’t even appreciate the goddamn irony that your fucking computer fetish is what got us into this fucking mess.”

Sollux rolled his eyes and turned to get back to work with his code, but Karkat wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.

“You’d probably fuck a computer if you had the chance. Hell, anything with wires and a keyboard just turns you on, doesn’t it?” Karkat was so deeply immersed in his hate routine that he didn’t notice Sollux’s teeth were bared. “Why don’t you try to get back together with your dead ex? She’s pretty much just a fucking computer on legs now. You just have to turn her on, and then she’ll turn you on --”

Sollux snapped around to face Karkat, and brought his fist up to meet Karkat’s nose. Karkat’s head was thrown back with the force of the punch, and he stumbled backward a few feet, but he kept his footing.

His lips pulled back into a snarl as he glared at his friend, still sitting in his stupid computer chair, and he brought his hand up to his nose gingerly to inspect the damage. “Jegus fuck, Captor. You’ve lost your fucking minds. Both of them.”

But Sollux didn’t react to Karkat’s words. He was staring, open-mouthed, at Karkat’s face. Even behind those ridiculous bicolored glasses, Karkat could tell that Sollux was more surprised than he was.

That’s when he felt something warm and sticky trickling down from his nose and onto his lips. His eyes widened. He was bleeding.

[Domoz]

Aaaaa. What. You had better continue this quickly because I want to know.

Man, usually fanfics don't do this to my brain. Which means you're doing a good job~

Edit: Oh, I just figured out why. I was planning to do something like this. It's a good thing you did, though, as I probably would have never grown the metaphorical balls to do it myself.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

@CeeJay: I haven't done the music meme thing for writing but I have put songs I picked out on repeat while writing to try and get in the mood. I listened to 'ruins (with strings)' almost non-stop while writing out large chunks of 'Shadow of the Rose.'

@Nevrmore: Heh, that was good; I loved how you portrayed the relationship between PS and LD. Hoping for some more.

@NV: Part 1 was good! I'm looking forward to reading more about how the trolls' react to Karkat's blood color. Sounds like an interesting piece.

[Tenebrais]

This will be the first part of a twelve-part story.

Windows: Part 1

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-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --
CG: MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON HERE.
GA: How Can I Help You
CG: I’M IN A GREY ROOM FULL OF TUBES AND STUFF.
CG: THEY’RE GROWING AGENTS IN HERE.
GA: Youre In The Veil
GA: It Is The Ring Of Asteroids Beyond The Lands
GA: To Support The War Effort In Skaia
GA: And Ultimately The Reckoning
GA: You Could Have Asked Your Lusus
CG: THAT OLD GROUCH? NO.
CG: ANYWAY THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW.
CG: I WANT TO KNOW WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING HERE.
CG: TEREZI THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT I GO HERE.
GA: Yes I Believe Aradia Has Had Some Words With Her On The Matter
GA: You Need To Figure Out Yourself What You Are Doing
GA: You Wouldnt Believe Me If I Told You
GA: Your Course Of Action Should Be Quite Obvious

Karkat grumbled to himself. Kanaya was his teammate. She should be more helpful. Not that the teams were really a thing any more. Still, he expected some sort of allegiance, especially since she was so keen to join his team.
Putting thoughts of her out of his mind, he returned to the screen in front of him. It had twelve screens, only one of which was on. It was hard to see from his angle, but he peered in.


A young troll boy lounged in a dinghy out at sea. He was staring up at the night sky. One moon was up tonight, the pink one. Around it, the stars glimmered and shone. The sky was beautiful. Life was beautiful.
A bleat by the side of the boat woke him from his reverie. His lusus had pulled its huge head out of the water, a large fish between its jaws. Smiling, Gamzee congratulated it with a cheerful pat on the head. The goat began tearing into the fish, eating ravenously. Were goats even supposed to eat fish? Who cares. If fish is what it wants to eat then fish is what it’ll eat and that’s all it should be. The creature playfully splashed around the boat for a while, playing with the boy, before finally diving underwater again.
Gamzee went back to relaxing. He pointed out the constellations to himself. There were the four signs of the zodiac - the Spectre over to the west, the Sea Monster to the north, the Orbital to the east and the Disc to the south. He thought that was them, at least. They’re all patterns of stars. Who really cares?
Another sound caught his attention. It sounded sort of like a cough. He caught a glimpse of a goggled pair of eyes before it dove back under the water. Looking around the sea was still again; not even a breeze stirred it. Just as he took his eyes away from the water, some louder splashing was heard, and a pair of hands covered in jewellery pushed a body onto a piece of driftwood.
A troll doesn’t grow up without seeing a few corpses, but still, it really killed the mood. He reached over and pulled the body onto his boat. Definitely dead. By the looks of it, the poor guy had drowned, whoever he was. He looked at the face. It was heavily made-up in black and white, like a clown. Searching his pockets for any way of identifying the guy, he found a few tubs of face paint and hair gel. Nothing else. Whoever this guy was he sure liked dressing up as a clown.
A thought triggered in his head. Wasn’t there some cult that did this? He’d have to look it up. The guy would have to be properly honoured, however these guys chose to treat their dead. Gamzee grabbed the oars of the boat and rowed back to the shore.

From his home, he fired up his husktop and searched the net. After only a few distractions, he found out about the cult of mentally-unorthodox clowns. Looking around, there was nothing about any sort of death ritual. Shrugging, he took the painted corpse, dragged it out to a hill not far from his hive, and left it to the animals.
Still, the cult lingered in his mind. Clowns. What a concept. And he had this face paint right here...


There was a big button beneath the twelve screens. Cautiously, Karkat pressed it. A piece of machinery to the side of the lab charged loudly, and then fired off with a piercing crack. Briefly, a green mannequin of Gamzee Makara as he looked before he joined the clown cult appeared on a pedestal before collapsing into goo. Another machine sucked it up and stored it in a jar. The apparatus then stood silent once more.
Karkat went over to look closely. There were twelve of these jars, and it didn’t take near-omniscience to figure out what would go in each one. He looked at the one full of the green goo. Genetically, this stuff would be identical to the guy that considered him best friend. But then he suspected Gamzee considered everyone his best friend. He was just that kind of guy.
Somehow, the featureless ooze suited him.

[OracleEngineer]

NV: Moremoremoremore?

[Gabu]

I laughed harder than I should have at that picture.

More so when silly accents are applied.

[Bardic Feline]

NV: Moremoremoremore?

Please? :3 I am not too proud to beg.

[Nevrmore]

NV: Moremoremoremore?

This really confused me for a second because I thought you typed out "NeVrMoremoremoremoremore?"

Just thought you should know.

[OracleEngineer]

This really confused me for a second because I thought you typed out "NeVrMoremoremoremoremore?"

Just thought you should know.

Quit having fantasies of me calling your name I mean what.

[northernVehemence]

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amazingness

Holy shit. I can't wait to read the rest in the series!

also, thanks everyone! I'm really more of a visual artist, but i'm trying to broaden my horizons into writing. YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL SO LOVED BLUH BLUH BLUH

paaaaart 2/?

---

Karkat clamped his hand, thankfully covering any evidence of the blood, closer against his nose, and backed away from Sollux, still sitting there with a stupefied expression on his face. He turned and ran. He had to make it to his quarters -- no, the bathroom was closer -- anywhere, just away from the rest of the trolls.

Luckily, fights were common among trolls, especially among the particular bunch that were now living together on this asteroid. Hostile words were such daily occurrence that no troll had batted an eye at Karkat berating Sollux. However, actual fistfights weren’t as common, and a few of the troll in neighboring stations were starting to take notice.

Karkat ran past Tavros’ station, not pausing to notice the quizzical look that followed him. He made it safely past Equius, Nepeta, Kanaya, and Gamzee. But Vriska looked up as he approached, and he saw her eyes gleam with a look of triumph.

“Hey -- Vantas is bleeding!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. He lowered his head and ran faster as Vriska’s robotic arm tore at his shirt, trying to slow him down so she could have a look. He slipped away from her steel grasp, and continued running as she howled in disappointment.

The other trolls looked up at Vriska’s words. Suddenly, everyone in the lab was staring at him. He closed his eyes and clamped both of his hands up to his face -- one to cover his nose and mouth, and the other to hide the rivulets of blood trailing down his chin.

Once out in the hallway, he thought, he could get to the bathroom and wash the mess off his face. He was certain the Sollux hadn’t seen -- he just needed to wash quickly and take a few minutes to stop the bleeding. Then he could forget this ever happened. He threw open the door to the hallway and leaped out.

Unfortunately, he didn’t count on Terezi standing outside the door, apparently returning to the lab. He ran headlong into her, knocking them both to the floor. Terezi gave an angry squawk and Karkat swore loudly as she walloped him with her cane in an effort to discern what had just happened.

Terezi heard Karkat’s voice as he swore and felt his legs flail against her, trying to right himself. He was trying to escape from the lab in a hurry. His hand were curiously occupied at his face, and he wasn’t using them to try to get up. While still piecing together this information, Terezi felt something drip on her cheek.

Karkat finally stumbled to his feet and continued down the hall, cursing all the way. He didn’t realize that he had left the damning evidence right there with her.

She might have been was blind, but she wasn’t stupid. As soon as she felt the tiny drop land on her cheek, she realized what was happening. It all clicked together -- Karkat’s haste to get away from the laboratory, his hands up against his face, his blank grey anonymity. He was trying to hide his hemochrome, and she was curious.

She lay on the ground where she had fallen, listening to him run and the gradual buildup of confusion in the laboratory. She could hear Equius’ booming voice demanding that the others tell him what color Karkat’s blood was, although of course no one had actually seen it.

Gently, Terezi lifted a finger to touch her cheek where his blood had spilled. Her black lips pulled back to reveal a shark-like grin, and her teeth parted as her grey tongue inspected the bit of blood on her finger.

Her unseeing eyes widened in comprehension as she thoughtfully sucked on her finger, getting rid of any of Karkat’s leftover blood.

“Red,” she whispered, smiling maniacally. “My favorite.”

[Nevrmore]

Quit having fantasies of me calling your name I mean what.

No, I refuse.

[OracleEngineer]

nV: Moarrrrr I've been wanting to see a fic about this for a while now.

Nevrmore: NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE NEVRMORE wait I mean bluh bluh.

[Solaris]

“Red,” she whispered, smiling maniacally. “My favorite.”

I love you.
Everything leading up to that was fucking awesome.

[Bardic Feline]

nV: Oh my...I really like your writing style. The whole scene with Karkat rushing towards the bathroom actually had me worried for him...especially when Vriska grabbed his shirt.
Ok, so we know Terezi knows the real color, just because the tongue doesn't lie. I guess Sollux didn't get a good enough look earlier to know also? I didn't think Karkat had gotten his hands up in time for him to completely hide the blood from him.

[Tenebrais]

Given Sollux's glasses he would probably have a hard time seeing colour generally.
I like your fic, NV.

[nextian]

Fuck yes. MORE, NV, MORE. MORE, TENE, MORE.

And now comments from the birthday and ... er ... day after ... jesus you guys are prolific.

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CeeJay your stuff is so sweet I'm always a bit afraid I've gotten a cavity. "Are you sure you directed me to the pantry? I think I might have accidentally stumbled into a bakery." was adorable.
Shadow of the Lotus: BASEBALL HOMESTUCK BASEBALL HOMESTUCK BASEBALL HOMESTUCK
Valter: The pestertelegraph is a great idea. And the extended xylophone metaphor cracked me the fuck up.
Solaris: in spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
Domoz: Oh, Karkat, you so angry.
northernVehemence: As others have said, that's not really the characterization I see for Tavros or Kanaya -- but your writing is completely excellent. However the bloodfic is just. AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONE MORE? I am loving this.
Tene: HOORAY MORE MEDIEVALISM. With fantasy racism! Tavros' tiny bull is adorkable and Big Cal is hilarious. As is “How did she know why we’re here? We haven’t told anyone you’re here to become a woman.” fffahahahaha “But, uh, if it’s the perfect lusus for you don’t think it will be.” ffffffffterezi

and Gamzee trolling Jade is -- bahahaha. I love how she's just like "...worst troll ever"
Frankie the Tomboy: Yay, more of the best meme! You have made me remember fondly the days when I could ship this shamelessly. Man I love deathfic. Y'all should feed my fathomless maw with more of it. The only thing better is "dead all along ghost fic". Which is canon.
grigori: Fuck, I love the pesterlog version. Who'd have thought "jade jade jade jade" could be so evocative.
Aerok12: okay I haven't actually read alandoned yet. ONE DAY
Orange: Oh gog, my heart grew three sizes.
reclusiveAmateur: Your writing always puts hearts in my eyes. Using Mutie was original and adorable, and I actually really, genuinely believed that Dave would be so consumed in the what the fuckery of what just happened that he'd type-yell at John, because: yes. fuck. ;_; and god The whole of the internet, and no one online. He hadn't quite realized before that this was really the end of the world.
PaulPower: I love the way you write John! I also love the way he hijacks the walkthrough, because, yep! It is pretty much now the Domesday Book for them.
Nevrmore: Shit, dude, I'd hate to see how well you write when you edit. And by hate I mean BEST KISMESIS??? That is AWESOME.

[northernVehemence]

nV: Oh my...I really like your writing style. The whole scene with Karkat rushing towards the bathroom actually had me worried for him...especially when Vriska grabbed his shirt.
Ok, so we know Terezi knows the real color, just because the tongue doesn't lie. I guess Sollux didn't get a good enough look earlier to know also? I didn't think Karkat had gotten his hands up in time for him to completely hide the blood from him.

Spoilered for sort of gross:

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whenever I used to get nosebleeds as a kid, the blood would always start a little far up my nose, not right at my nostrils. I applied the same logic to Karkat (even though i've never been punched in the nose, so i don't really know), just having the blood start up further up his nose. since he brought his hand up to inspect the damage immediately after Sollux punched him, i thought that his hand would have hidden the blood from Sollux.

hope that makes it clearer! As always, thanks everyone for your wonderful encouragement. Writing's not easy for me, but it sure is fun! tabs for everyone!

[love]

just rolling through to say nV, i agree with everyone else, what you have so far is super great
i hope you write more, i really liked it : D

[Solaris]

Can what I assume to be the embodiment of love stop posting in such a shy way?
We are not shy at all in this sub-forum.
Seriously, if you go back a few pages you will see me, Nikie and Red Pen proposing.
LOVE SHOULD BE LOUD IN THIS SUB-FORUM.
PS You don't have to if you don't want to.