MSPA fan-fiction

[Lexxy]

Guess I'll post this here too, as there have already been questions about it!

LATEST ART RULES ADDENDUM

Cross-Posting:
Cross-posting images between threads within the Art Forum is no longer allowed, as it is untidy and defeats the purpose of having specialized threads. Cross-posting drawings from another subforum or another forum entirely is fine. If you would like to call attention to the original post in another thread (ie: sharing a Romart pic in Fanart), you may post a text link to it.

This applies to fics/romfics too, but you can choose which thread you want to post the full fic in, and which thread you want to link in. So, if you write a romfic, you can either post it in Romart and link it in here, or post it in here and link it in Romart, whichever you prefer.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled ficwriting.

edit: It has just been brought to my attention that fics that are not posted in this thread will not be added to the fic directory. If you post your fic in another thread, be sure to put a link to it here. That will ensure it gets included and can be found more easily by readers in the future!

[love]

ffffff i have nothing to contribute to nosebleed discussions
/twiddles thumbs

@nV: love the newest part and length is good, just more for us all to enjoy : D

[Ember]

Okay, so I posted this to the livejournal request meme a while back. In light of the archiving project, as well as recent developments in the Homestuck comic, I suppose I should post it here too. Updated with actual names!

Safety Restraints

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They aren't really playing against the Blue Team. They aren't even really playing against the computer. She may be dumb but she's not that dumb, and her history of allowing herself to be manipulated into doing things a part of her wanted to do anyway doesn't mean that she has to play the puppet for anyone who asks. There's nothing to compete against, there's no way to save the world or destroy it any more thoroughly, and there's no reason not to sabotage these ungrateful freaks and cripples who never even wanted her on their team. She has nothing to lose but her life.

"You aren't going to hurt him again."

Vriska slams her alchemized laptop shut to hide what she's been working on and spins around to face Kanaya, who crosses her arms and stares her down. "Don't be ridiculous," she says hurriedly. "I buried that hatchet ages ago. It is an old, dull, rusty hatchet. Besides, we're on the same team now. You would not believe how much energy I have put into stopping that loser from getting himself hurt. He is just so awful at this game! Honestly, you shouldn't be surprised if he manages to off himself even with my sage guidance."

"You are a terrible liar, Vriska," the other girl says.

"Well you're a terrible gamer!" Vriska shoots back. "You're soooooooo sloooooooow! Weren't you supposed to be through your first gate by now?" It's a pretty big problem. Vriska timed this so that she would arrive at Kanaya's house while Karkat was between gates and presumably too busy with underlings to bother peeking in. She had, of course, counted on being alone here.

"I was postponing my departure to coincide with your arrival," Kanaya explains calmly, "so that I might continue my surveillance even while away from the computer on which I have the server program installed. Also, you aren't going to hurt him again."

Well, that's just great. Trust Kanaya to hold up the game for the sake of meddling with her teammates. "You say that like it's something you've seen in a vision." She's going for low and dangerous, but as always it comes out shrill and petulant.

"No," Kanaya says in the exact tone Vriska was trying for, "I say it like it's something I've decided on. Because I have, and it isn't negotiable."

"Argh!" This is starting to go a bit beyond meddling, and Vriska is not about to put up with it. She turns her back on Kanaya and flips open her laptop. "Fine! Go ahead and stop me! You wanna be the one who breaks the chain instead of me? You want me to be the weak link instead of him? Go for it!"

Before her fingers can touch the keyboard, Kanaya steps forward, grabs her by her one flesh-and-blood hand, and pulls. Vriska is caught off guard by her strength, stumbles a bit as she's spun around and drawn in close, and half falls, half collides with the other girl, who stands firm and places her free hand on Vriska's shoulder to steady her. She might have expected it from someone who regularly swings around chainsaws, but she didn’t. She could still easily overpower her with her mech arm, but she doesn't.

"I don't require precognition to know what will happen if you break the truce," Kanaya tells her, close enough that Vriska can feel her breath, and despite all her advantages she's suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of danger and vulnerability, like she's gambling something big. "You will regret it, but not enough. I won't be able to stop the others from trying to kill you, and even if they fail, the game will eventually do it for them."

"I know that!" Vriska snaps. Tries to snap. Ends up whining. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am!"

"I know you know." Kanaya lets go of her shoulder but not her hand. It would be so easy to punch her in the stupid, smug face.

"Then why are you telling me?"

"The better question is, why are you attempting this circuitous form of suicide?"

"Because this game blows! Too much co-op, not enough PVP."

For the first time, Kanaya smiles at her — a bit wryly, but it's definitely a smile. "I rather doubt that's your most scathing criticism of it."

"Fuck you," Vriska says, because she has no idea what they're talking about anymore.

The smile stays in place. "You are a difficult person to care about, Vriska Sekret."

"So stop caring." It's supposed to sound more like a dare and less like a plea, but God is she ever horrible at this.

"I've made my decision," Kanaya reminds her. "Now you have to make one. You can be childish and self-destruct, or you can come with me through the gate to play the game, fight underlings, and maybe live a bit longer."

And it finally occurs to Vriska that Kanaya isn't that dumb either. She knows, she must know, that if everything blows up now, it will save everyone a lot of headaches. To keep going is to wager suffering against life, and with their luck, it isn't smart to gamble.

Silently, Vriska twists her hand in Kanaya's, locking their fingers together. It isn't smart, but addiction is a powerful thing.

I think I could really come to love these two.

[The Z-W]

A quick thing I did for the romart thread: "Pity" http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3968066

[The Idiotic Oracle]

I read Vriska as sounding like Vicky from Fairly Odd Parents. Or Azula from Avatar. (same VA)

[The Z-W]

I read Vriska as sounding like Vicky from Fairly Odd Parents. Or Azula from Avatar. (same VA)

oh god it fits so well

[nextian]

Man this is why I'm still sad we didn't name her Vuzula.

Also Ember, loved it in the anon meme, love it now.

[northernVehemence]

new part i guess

this needs a title. :/

---

Of course, Terezi didn’t tell them. That would have taken all the fun out of it. She merely explained that she had gotten a taste of it the day Sollux had punched him, while Karkat sat in the corner, torn between seething anger and nauseous anxiety. After that, she had given a theatrical yawn and declared that the night’s roleplaying session was over.

Karkat was only too happy to escape from Terezi’s quarters. He ignored Tavros’ awkward attempts at conversation on the way back to the wing they shared with Sollux and Gamzee. “So, um...” Tavros ventured, “Terezi is, um, I mean, she’s...she likes to roleplay a lot, huh?” When that observation was met with stony silence, Tavros bravely tried again. “Do you want, you know...want to talk about it? Your blood, I mean? It’s not like it’s, um, like it really matters, but you know, if you ever want to talk about...” His voice trailed off. Karkat was looking down at the floor, chewing his lower lip and looking visibly ill. Tavros stopped at his room and waved a feeble goodbye to Karkat, who took no notice.

Nepeta retreated back to her own room, which was next door to Equius’. Karkat was sure that by the morning, the imposing blue-blood would have heard all about Terezi’s discovery; Nepeta was notoriously awful at keeping secrets from Equius. Karkat knew Equius already suspected that he was lower on the hemochrome spectrum than his own “pure blue blood,” but if he had any idea of how low -- Karkat swallowed hard and tried to put the thought out of his mind.

A troll on the lower end of the hemocastes usually learns quickly not to flaunt their blood color. Karkat supposed his few low-blooded friends were different. Sollux didn’t care about the caste system. He was just high enough to not have to worry about getting culled as a larva.

Aradia held her low blood almost as a point of pride, while she had been alive. But even she was reluctant to let strangers know where on the spectrum she fell. As far as Karkat knew, she was only being kept around so that the Breeding Assistant trolls could harvest her genetic material to infuse into the Mother Grub because -- he hated to admit it -- she was exceptionally beautiful, for a troll. Or at least she had been.

Tavros was just an idiot who never seemed to notice the correlation between telling people about his rust-colored blood and how badly others treated him. He gladly informed anyone who asked about his low blood-status, and, well, look where that had gotten him. Karkat was frankly surprised that he had avoided being culled as a larva.

But Karkat was different. Not only was he lower -- far lower -- on the hemochrome spectrum, he liked to believe he was smarter than they were. More of a survivalist. He had learned to fall back on grey for everything. Others couldn’t abuse him if there was a chance he might be the troll equivalent of royalty, right?

But now they knew that Terezi knew his blood color. Terezi, the feral, tree-born, spittle-flecked, manipulative psycho. Her blood was nearly as good as Vriska’s -- she had certainly never had to worry about anyone making fun of her for her blood color.

Karkat, on the other hand, had narrowly avoided being culled several times as a larva. He wasn’t sure if his survival had been due to a bureaucratic oversight or incompetent Larval Evaluators. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t because of sympathy.

He made his way back to his quarters and landed on his sleeping pad with a thump. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep that night.

[Domoz]

What. Yes.

Once again I'm waiting for more.

[Tenebrais]

How about "Hemophobia"?

I like it, although Karkat's blood is supposed to be a freakish weird colour, not a very low one.

[Ember]

Azula is the sort of villain Vriska wishes she were. I picture her trying to talk like that only to get upset and break into DeLisle's shriller Vicky voice instead. It fits.

[The Idiotic Oracle]

Azula is the sort of villain Vriska wishes she were. I picture her trying to talk like that only to get upset and break into DeLisle's shriller Vicky voice instead. It fits.

IT FITS PERFECTLY


SCARILY PERFECTLY

If this ever became a show, DeLisle will be hired to be Vriska

[Ember]

How about "Hemophobia"?

I like it, although Karkat's blood is supposed to be a freakish weird colour, not a very low one.

Freakish AND low. Lower than should be possible. Basically it's awful in every way imaginable.

Although I doubt Trolls would be culled based on blood color. That sort of goes against the point of caste systems, in which members of the lowest castes, though looked down upon and widely abused, are actually integral to society because they do all the most unpleasant work.

[CeeJay]

I'm not sure how many of you visit the Request Meme, but I was a little bored, and there was a cute prompt, so I went ahead and filled it. I hope that the requester doesn't mind me posting it here too. I also hope they don't mind that it's such a short little thing.

Prompt: GA/AT - Bonus points if at some point in the conversation/scene/whatever, Tavros slips up and accidentally calls her "Wendy."

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-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

AT: hEY!
AT: aRE YOU THERE?
GA: I Am Here.
GA: What Do You Need, Tavros?
AT: oH i DON'T NEED ANYTHING.
AT: i UHHH... i JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU.
AT: fOR THE COSTUME.
GA: It Was My Pleasure.
GA: So I Assume You Received It Well?
AT: uMMM... iF YOU MEAN i GOT IT,
AT: yEAH IT JUST CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY.
AT: jUST IN TIME. : )
GA: Have You Tried It On Yet?
AT: yEAH IT IS PRETTY MUCH PERFECT.
GA: I Wish I Could See.
AT: i LOOK JUST LIKE pUPA pAN.
AT: iT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.
AT: i THINK gAMZEE WOULD SAY:
AT: uMMM... It'S LiKe A miRiCLe.
AT: oR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
GA: Ha Ha Ha.
AT: bUT YEAH, THE COSTUME LOOKS GREAT.
AT: i FEEL LIKE i COULD REALLY FLY.
GA: Maybe Someday You Will.
AT: dO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
GA: It's Possible.
GA: I've Seen Things In My Visions.
GA: It Is Very Likely Your Dream Will Come True.
AT: wOW!
AT: rEALLY?
GA: Yes.
GA: But You Will Have To Face Some Difficulties First.
AT: wELL, i THINK i CAN HANDLE IT.
AT: i THINK i COULD GET THROUGH ANYTHING WITH A SMILE,
AT: kNOWING THAT i COULD FLY SOMEDAY.
GA: I'm Very Happy To Hear That.
GA: Because I Would Hate To See You Upset.
AT: wELL... uHHH... iN THAT CASE,
AT: i WILL NEVER STOP SMILING IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
GA: I Think That Would Make Me Very Happy.
AT: sOMEDAY WHEN i CAN FLY
AT: i WOULD LIKE TO COME VISIT YOU.
AT: mAYBE WE COULD FLY AWAY TOGETHER.
AT: uMM, i MEAN, iF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU.
GA: That Is Okay With Me. : )
GA: But Wear Your Costume, So That I Can See How It Turned Out.
AT: i WILL!
AT: aND LIKE i SAID BEFORE, IT LOOKS PERFECT.
GA: Well I Am Glad That You Like It.
GA: I'm Always Happy To Help.
AT: yEAH, THAT'S WHY i LIKE YOU, kANAYA.
GA: I Like You Too, Tavros.
GA: You Are One Of Few Who Really Appreciates My Work.
GA: But Perhaps Sometime You Will Let Me Create A Real Outfit For You.
GA: Not Just A Costume.
AT: yEAH i GUESS YOU COULD DO THAT.
AT: uMMM... iF YOU WANTED TO, i MEAN.
GA: Would You Really Wear It?
AT: i'D WEAR ANYTHING IF YOU MADE IT, wENDY.
GA: What?
AT: kANAYA.
AT: i MEANT kANAYA.
GA: : ?
AT: i HAVE TO GO.
AT: vRISKA REALLY WANTS TO START THIS GAME.
AT: i WILL TALK TO YOU LATER!
GA: Be Careful, Tavros!
AT: oKAY! tHANKS!

-- adiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

GA: : (

I always struggle with Pesterlog format, and this is my first time writing Kayana, so please feel free to point out my mistakes and let me know what you think I should change for future reference!

[Valter]

If you hit up any page with a pesterlog with the people you want, and then right click and select "view page source", you can check the exact color of the trolls' handles yourself.

Also, I would like to request that all fics be spoilered regardless of length, in general.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Just read through "what family doesn't have its ups and downs;" love it Nextian. Still need to read through Windows (by Tenebrais) but I will probably catch that before going to bed tonight.

[kmsumrall]

Ah geez, this one is a dozy.

Little background, this story went through several different reiterations and edits, and I think it comes off a little choppy is places.

Title: And We Come to an End (part 1)

(Part 1)
(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

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“Hey Karkitty. Whatcha dooooin?”

“I have told you time and time again not to call me that you nookstain. What the fuck do you want?”

“To know what you are doing of course!” said Nepeta, rolling onto her back.

“I’m not going to touch your stomach so do yourself a favor and vacate from my sight before my eyes vomit.”

“Aw, why not? Terezi rubs my belly.”

“Terezi,” Karkat said while adjusting some dials on a large control panel, “lost a bet.”

“Flooy.” Nepeta stretched out and batted at some dust in the air. Then she yawned and got up. “I’ve never seen this room before.”

“Yeah? And you aren’t going to see anymore. Get the fuck outta here before I pour paint down your throat!” Karkat lunged at the intruder.

The cat girl bounded out of reach and ran behind a large machine. “What does this do? Opps!” The hose she tugged on came out, covering her with a thick smelly green slimelike liquid.

“Ahh! You stupid bitch!”

“Hey! I’ma kitten, not a doggie! What is stuff stuff?”

“Don’t lick it idiot! That’s Tavros!” Karkat grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and dragged Nepeta into the middle of the room. “This stuff is more dangerous than standing between Gamzee and food when he eat sopor slime. Take off those clothes!”

“Oooh Karkat...” Nepeta said, eyes shining.

“What? No! Stupid fuck, clean yourself off, or, or put on that lab coat over there before I add last lights dinner to the mess already on you!” Karkat quickly turned around and heard a snicker behind him.

“So what are you doing? And how is that Tavros? Did you get him to fill a bucket with-”

“No! Damnit, just leave!”

“Cause it’s fine if you and him-”

“Shu-shut up! Fine, whatever! It’s ectobiology, alright?”

“Weee!” Nepeta tackled into the angry troll, knocking him down in a superhug. “What’s ectobiomancy?”

Karkat pushed her off. “Stop being stupid! I know that’s hard when its your natural state of mind and personal being but there is a lot of breakable shit in here. This is a mistake, and you being alive is a bigger mistake. Just leave already.”

“Fine,” said Nepeta, shrugging. She started to walk away, but looked back over her shoulder. “I guess I’ll go ask Terezi why you have a bucket full of big horns.” Karkat glared.

“See this machine? It’s like the teleporters we used to get to the place, only a little different.”

The machine was large, taking up most of the space. In between some glass containers was a small teleporter platform with a tube next to it. The tube was attached to one of them, which was currently half filled with a bubbling green substance. A view screen underneath seemed to show some kind of broken programing code. The middle of the room was the largest teleporter pad Nepeta had ever seen.

“What this does,” Karkat continued, “is views different potential points in time. Not every point may or may not have happened. Regardless, what happens is that even though the point of time could have been from a different history, it still takes a paradox reading of...” He trailed off, seeing the cat girl’s confused yet attentive expression. “Fuck me for thinking you had the basic brain cells needed to not droll on yourself. Guh, just reattach that hose and I’ll rerun the current tests.”

A moment later the pair were staring at a large screen. On it showed a young troll with large horns wearing a green costume of sorts. He was grinning some shit eating grin, small computer in one hand and daggerlance in the other.

“That’s Tavros!” shouted Nepeta, clapping her hands.

“It tends to come back to this point. Fucker is about throw himself off the cliff and some other fucker is going to take him back up the cliff for some gogawful reason. Tiara dipshit is a terrible excuse for a troll, both of them. Now we just target him and-”

Nepeta covered her eyes as a bright flash nearly blinded her. Spots appeared in front of her eyes as she tried to focus on what was happening. Some new green slime was being sucked into the glass tube. Lights flashed and the code screen started running fast. A loud whirling filled the room as hidden gears turned and crunched. Something sparked and Karkat yelled, pushing buttons on a keyboard. Another flash and a scream.

“Ah fuck! Another old man.”

What stood before them was a old, bald, splotchy troll with huge horns drooping dangerously low. It sat on what looked like giant metal chicken legs, rusted and still. Plus, the troll was drooling.

“Is that Tavros? Old Tavros? What happened to him?” She reached out but Karkat slapped her hand away.

“If you wern’t some furry deviant shipping nonsense maker you’d already know. It’s a damned idiot clone.”

“Why... Why isn’t he talking?”

“It is not talking cause its brain is dead. I don’t know why, I don’t care why. Last damn thing I want is a shit load ton of slightly less stupid big horned handicrapped morons wandering around.” The troll ectobiologist picked up his surgisickle with a calculating look on his face.


“What are you going to do?” she said, grabbing his arm.

“I’m going to cull this waste like the others.”

“But-But-”

“You wanna try and feed this thing? Food is low as it is. Imagine the worst day of your life. Your hunts end up with nothing, nobody wants to roleplay with you, that stupid two faced lusus has a bad toothache and needs it pulled. Now imagine all that is happening while standing kneedeep in fecal urine.” Karkat paused dramatically. “Thats what this conversation is like for me. Now get the fuck out-”

“Nooooo!” Nepeta shoved Karkat down and ran to the aged Tavros. “You just can’t kill your friend!” She grabbed him and held him tight.

“It’s already dead. Let it go.”

The shipper shook her head. “No! I don’t care if he’s old or braindead or smelly or anything!”

Karkat faceplamed and said, “No, it’s really already dead. You used to kill shit and eat it, right? Look, can’t you tell?”

“What?” Nepeta sniffed the air and felt the aged Tavros’s neck. “Oh...”

“Yeah, idiot. This is like the 8th one. I’m used to killing these useless things.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door.

“You... killed Tavros eight times?”

“Well, I’ve experimented with most of those nook suckers we call teammates. A lot of them melted. And it’s not Tavros, it's a clone.”

“Melted? Why?”

“Cause ectobiology is craptastic. Shit is worse than that magic that TC uses. You change something by one notch or one second or you stand off to the side and you get a fucking explosion of lusus jizz down your windpipe! End up with a troll who has molasses and butter for blood.”

“Why are you doing this at all?” Nepeta asked with tears in her eyes. “You’re killing our friends!”

“No I’m not!” Karkat shouted, grabbing her shoulders. “These aren’t trolls! They aren't even thinking! Just masses of fucking mutated flesh! I wouldn’t even feed this shit to an ogre! But without them we’d all die! Be dead! No more! I can make Tavros a new body, one that wasn’t broken by a sociopathic pathetic hatebroken huge troll bitch! Make a new body, put his brain in it, put legs on what he has, whatever, as long as he is fixed! And then we can fuck over that ass clown of a Black King! He could actually move up the echeladder and not be a whiny little getting us killed wheelchaired dumbfuck! Otherwise he is going to get me killed and I WON’T DIE! I REFUSE TO DIE! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!” Karkat shoved Nepeta out of the lab and slammed the door shut.

Nepeta walked around in a daze until she ended up in her room. What was going on? They might have only had a little time left, but why was he so angry? Angry at her? He never yelled at her like that... In her room she grabbed her thinking hat. She had made it long ago out of a fuzzy yellow bear.

“Think think think,” She said aloud to herself. “Karkitty is experimenting to make Tavros a new body. But... I don’t think he even knows if that would work or not. He has a plan... What could it be?”

Someone knocked on her door way too hard. The only person who did that without breaking down the door was... “Hey cat freak! Vantas got us food again. Get your turkey ass out here! Of course, if you took your time, I could get your share so go ahead and stay there and I’ll let you know how it was. Ha Ha!”

Nepeta hissed at the door. Stupid jerkface Vriska and her dumb missed eyehole and freaky robo-

Outside Vriska shrugged and started walking away. If that dumb happy girl troll didn't want to accept her pity to make things right then-

“Vrisssskaaaaa!” a grey streak shouted, knocking her to the floor. “How did you get that arrrrrmmmm?!”

“Guh! Get off my you stupid stupidy asshole!” shouted Vriska, struggling to get up from under the surprising weight. “What are you doing with that stupid helmet hat thing?”

Nepeta pulled her up by her collar. “Arm! How’d you get it? Make it?”

“It got blasted off and thanks for bringing up that memory! That’s exactly what I wanted to think about today with Sollux raging over his dead ex and blaming me!” She pushed the bear girl off and dusted herself off. She started to yell again when she saw the look in Nepeta’s eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I... I just need to know, ok?”

“Look, I... Fine, ok, I’ll tell you cause I’m all nice and stuff now. Equius made it after I told him I’d help him with something. You know, he makes all those-”

“Robots! Of course!” Nepeta clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “Equius made your arm and her body and can make new legs for Tavros like old Tavros that wasn’t Tavros and Katkar won’t have to keep killing us!” She excitedly gave Vriska a kiss on the lips. “Thank you thank you! We can save everyone!”

“Guhhhh!!!! I don’t care what roleplay you are doing don’t you kiss me like I’m mated to you alright?”

A green hue colored Nepeta’s skin and she ran back into her room. Vriska resolved to disremember this whole incident.

“Well... Maybe not forget..” she said to herself, touching her lips.



Nepeta caught up with Equius after dinner.

“Can you help me with something?”

“That depends. Are you going to keep consorting with those far beneath your station?”

“Blarg, you stop that nonsense! We are the only ones left!”

“Nevertheless, we must continue our civic duty and provide the best example possible.”

“Oh?” Nepeta said, eyes twinkling. “Then lets start with the same charity you gave me.”

“What do you mean?” Equius said cautiously.

“Well, you taught me to be all proper and all that jazzhands. Let me help you do the same for someone else! I need a favor for Tavros.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No. He is lowering you with those silly games when we should be training one hundred percent for the upcoming battle. He has shown no initiative and keeps befouling Gamzee, although I would never question the actions of one who is higher than myself.” He started to walk away.

“But-But this is for battle. Totally only for battle!”

Equius snarled over his shoulder. “What could I possibly do for that wriggling gutter blood that would help him at all? Other than putting him out of his misery and flinging his corpse at the Black King before I engage the monster in hand to hand combat.”

Nepeta grinned to herself. Now she had him! “Two words. Robo Legs.”

“So he could be useless walking instead of useless sitting? I think not.”

“Toooo baadddd... Aradia is not going to be happppyyyyy,” she said in a singsong voice.

“...Why?”

“Well I just thought I heard that she told you to forget about all the blood caste stuff since we all need to work together. Kanaya said as much too.”

“...Doesn’t matter. So she’ll get mad. I can take that fine.”

“Are you suurrre? According to this sneaky kitty detective, she might just give you.... a hug!”

“Hug?”

“Maybe a kiss on the cheek.”

“...Stop that.”

“A quiet night with tea. Watching one of Karkat’s last remaining romcoms and not making fun of it. Maybe even cuddling!”

Equius nearly gagged. “Fine! Ok, I’ll help you, just stop! I’ll make those legs for that rust blooded- uh, valued colleague.” Each word came out through clenched teeth.

“Hooray!” Nepeta started dancing.

“Just find someone to remove his legs.”

“Yes, remove his-wait what? Why would we do that now?”

“‘You’ would need to remove them so ‘I’ can attach the new legs once they are made. That is how it works. I’ll get started. You figure it out and come back to me with the information.” And with that he walked off to his lab.

Nepeta walked back to the dinning hall. Oh, looks like someone left a little bit of meat. She started to nibble on it then spit it out. Yuk, it was all metally and rubbery.

Hmmm.... Now who could help her help Tavi? Karkat had his super sharp surgisickle, but that would ruin the surprise. Terezi would enjoy helping, but she has been really close to Karkat lately... that poopy head. Gamzers was out, CC and CA were outside the complex hunting or swimming or something again... Vriska was a meany...

Oh! Kanaya would help! Plus she had that chainsaw, and those thing cut really clean fine lines. Right? Nepeta happily skipped down the hall to her friend's room.

She knocked on the fashionable troll’s door. “Kananananaya, can I ask you something?”

No answer. That was odd. Kanaya was always up for a little helping or meddling or whatever she called it today. Nepeta knocked again, much louder this time, and the door slowly opened. The smell of freshly cut grass filled the air.

“Kani? I’m coming in, ok?” Inside the room seemed colorful as usual, but something was... off. On the table was that suit they were working on... The wardrobidier Karkat was trying to program with hilarious results looked ok... Huh, she got a new green fabric from somewhere and just let it fall to the ground. Nepeta prodded it and felt liquid. Spilled... green dye? The smell of cut grass was much stronger now.

“L-look, I know you are in here cause the door was unlocked. J-just let me know where you are and stop playing... pranks...”

Behind the table. That wasn’t green dye. This was- Kanaya’s- Behind the table- grey- green- her face oh gog her face-

Nepeta ran from the room, screaming and crying hard. She ran into Sollux and knocked him to the ground.

“You stupid- Whoa, whats going on?”

“Sollux!” she cried, pulling him close. “Kanaya- her face- arms ripped- oh her face was-”

“Calm down! What happened to Kanaya?”

“She-She-She’s dead!”

I've started writing part 2.

[Solaris]

WHAT A TWEEST
God the idea of Karkat doing that scares me.
I hope that if enter the medium, it is with a fully stocked fridge.

[Bardic Feline]

Ah geez, this one is a dozy.

Little background, this story went through several different reiterations and edits, and I think it comes off a little choppy is places.

Title: And We Come to an End (part 1)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

“Hey Karkitty. Whatcha dooooin?”

“I have told you time and time again not to call me that you nookstain. What the fuck do you want?”

“To know what you are doing of course!” said Nepeta, rolling onto her back.

“I’m not going to touch your stomach so do yourself a favor and vacate from my sight before my eyes vomit.”

“Aw, why not? Terezi rubs my belly.”

“Terezi,” Karkat said while adjusting some dials on a large control panel, “lost a bet.”

“Flooy.” Nepeta stretched out and batted at some dust in the air. Then she yawned and got up. “I’ve never seen this room before.”

“Yeah? And you aren’t going to see anymore. Get the fuck outta here before I pour paint down your throat!” Karkat lunged at the intruder.

The cat girl bounded out of reach and ran behind a large machine. “What does this do? Opps!” The hose she tugged on came out, covering her with a thick smelly green slimelike liquid.

“Ahh! You stupid bitch!”

“Hey! I’ma kitten, not a doggie! What is stuff stuff?”

“Don’t lick it idiot! That’s Tavros!” Karkat grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and dragged Nepeta into the middle of the room. “This stuff is more dangerous than standing between Gamzee and food when he eat sopor slime. Take off those clothes!”

“Oooh Karkat...” Nepeta said, eyes shining.

“What? No! Stupid fuck, clean yourself off, or, or put on that lab coat over there before I add last lights dinner to the mess already on you!” Karkat quickly turned around and heard a snicker behind him.

“So what are you doing? And how is that Tavros? Did you get him to fill a bucket with-”

“No! Damnit, just leave!”

“Cause it’s fine if you and him-”

“Shu-shut up! Fine, whatever! It’s ectobiology, alright?”

“Weee!” Nepeta tackled into the angry troll, knocking him down in a superhug. “What’s ectobiomancy?”

Karkat pushed her off. “Stop being stupid! I know that’s hard when its your natural state of mind and personal being but there is a lot of breakable shit in here. This is a mistake, and you being alive is a bigger mistake. Just leave already.”

“Fine,” said Nepeta, shrugging. She started to walk away, but looked back over her shoulder. “I guess I’ll go ask Terezi why you have a bucket full of big horns.” Karkat glared.

“See this machine? It’s like the teleporters we used to get to the place, only a little different.”

The machine was large, taking up most of the space. In between some glass containers was a small teleporter platform with a tube next to it. The tube was attached to one of them, which was currently half filled with a bubbling green substance. A view screen underneath seemed to show some kind of broken programing code. The middle of the room was the largest teleporter pad Nepeta had ever seen.

“What this does,” Karkat continued, “is views different potential points in time. Not every point may or may not have happened. Regardless, what happens is that even though the point of time could have been from a different history, it still takes a paradox reading of...” He trailed off, seeing the cat girl’s confused yet attentive expression. “Fuck me for thinking you had the basic brain cells needed to not droll on yourself. Guh, just reattach that hose and I’ll rerun the current tests.”

A moment later the pair were staring at a large screen. On it showed a young troll with large horns wearing a green costume of sorts. He was grinning some shit eating grin, small computer in one hand and daggerlance in the other.

“That’s Tavros!” shouted Nepeta, clapping her hands.

“It tends to come back to this point. Fucker is about throw himself off the cliff and some other fucker is going to take him back up the cliff for some gogawful reason. Tiara dipshit is a terrible excuse for a troll, both of them. Now we just target him and-”

Nepeta covered her eyes as a bright flash nearly blinded her. Spots appeared in front of her eyes as she tried to focus on what was happening. Some new green slime was being sucked into the glass tube. Lights flashed and the code screen started running fast. A loud whirling filled the room as hidden gears turned and crunched. Something sparked and Karkat yelled, pushing buttons on a keyboard. Another flash and a scream.

“Ah fuck! Another old man.”

What stood before them was a old, bald, splotchy troll with huge horns drooping dangerously low. It sat on what looked like giant metal chicken legs, rusted and still. Plus, the troll was drooling.

“Is that Tavros? Old Tavros? What happened to him?” She reached out but Karkat slapped her hand away.

“If you wern’t some furry deviant shipping nonsense maker you’d already know. It’s a damned idiot clone.”

“Why... Why isn’t he talking?”

“It is not talking cause its brain is dead. I don’t know why, I don’t care why. Last damn thing I want is a shit load ton of slightly less stupid big horned handicrapped morons wandering around.” The troll ectobiologist picked up his surgisickle with a calculating look on his face.


“What are you going to do?” she said, grabbing his arm.

“I’m going to cull this waste like the others.”

“But-But-”

“You wanna try and feed this thing? Food is low as it is. Imagine the worst day of your life. Your hunts end up with nothing, nobody wants to roleplay with you, that stupid two faced lusus has a bad toothache and needs it pulled. Now imagine all that is happening while standing kneedeep in fecal urine.” Karkat paused dramatically. “Thats what this conversation is like for me. Now get the fuck out-”

“Nooooo!” Nepeta shoved Karkat down and ran to the aged Tavros. “You just can’t kill your friend!” She grabbed him and held him tight.

“It’s already dead. Let it go.”

The shipper shook her head. “No! I don’t care if he’s old or braindead or smelly or anything!”

Karkat faceplamed and said, “No, it’s really already dead. You used to kill shit and eat it, right? Look, can’t you tell?”

“What?” Nepeta sniffed the air and felt the aged Tavros’s neck. “Oh...”

“Yeah, idiot. This is like the 8th one. I’m used to killing these useless things.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door.

“You... killed Tavros eight times?”

“Well, I’ve experimented with most of those nook suckers we call teammates. A lot of them melted. And it’s not Tavros, it's a clone.”

“Melted? Why?”

“Cause ectobiology is craptastic. Shit is worse than that magic that TC uses. You change something by one notch or one second or you stand off to the side and you get a fucking explosion of lusus jizz down your windpipe! End up with a troll who has molasses and butter for blood.”

“Why are you doing this at all?” Nepeta asked with tears in her eyes. “You’re killing our friends!”

“No I’m not!” Karkat shouted, grabbing her shoulders. “These aren’t trolls! They aren't even thinking! Just masses of fucking mutated flesh! I wouldn’t even feed this shit to an ogre! But without them we’d all die! Be dead! No more! I can make Tavros a new body, one that wasn’t broken by a sociopathic pathetic hatebroken huge troll bitch! Make a new body, put his brain in it, put legs on what he has, whatever, as long as he is fixed! And then we can fuck over that ass clown of a Black King! He could actually move up the echeladder and not be a whiny little getting us killed wheelchaired dumbfuck! Otherwise he is going to get me killed and I WON’T DIE! I REFUSE TO DIE! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!” Karkat shoved Nepeta out of the lab and slammed the door shut.

Nepeta walked around in a daze until she ended up in her room. What was going on? They might have only had a little time left, but why was he so angry? Angry at her? He never yelled at her like that... In her room she grabbed her thinking hat. She had made it long ago out of a fuzzy yellow bear.

“Think think think,” She said aloud to herself. “Karkitty is experimenting to make Tavros a new body. But... I don’t think he even knows if that would work or not. He has a plan... What could it be?”

Someone knocked on her door way too hard. The only person who did that without breaking down the door was... “Hey cat freak! Vantas got us food again. Get your turkey ass out here! Of course, if you took your time, I could get your share so go ahead and stay there and I’ll let you know how it was. Ha Ha!”

Nepeta hissed at the door. Stupid jerkface Vriska and her dumb missed eyehole and freaky robo-

Outside Vriska shrugged and started walking away. If that dumb happy girl troll didn't want to accept her pity to make things right then-

“Vrisssskaaaaa!” a grey streak shouted, knocking her to the floor. “How did you get that arrrrrmmmm?!”

“Guh! Get off my you stupid stupidy asshole!” shouted Vriska, struggling to get up from under the surprising weight. “What are you doing with that stupid helmet hat thing?”

Nepeta pulled her up by her collar. “Arm! How’d you get it? Make it?”

“It got blasted off and thanks for bringing up that memory! That’s exactly what I wanted to think about today with Sollux raging over his dead ex and blaming me!” She pushed the bear girl off and dusted herself off. She started to yell again when she saw the look in Nepeta’s eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I... I just need to know, ok?”

“Look, I... Fine, ok, I’ll tell you cause I’m all nice and stuff now. Equius made it after I told him I’d help him with something. You know, he makes all those-”

“Robots! Of course!” Nepeta clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “Equius made your arm and her body and can make new legs for Tavros like old Tavros that wasn’t Tavros and Katkar won’t have to keep killing us!” She excitedly gave Vriska a kiss on the lips. “Thank you thank you! We can save everyone!”

“Guhhhh!!!! I don’t care what roleplay you are doing don’t you kiss me like I’m mated to you alright?”

A green hue colored Nepeta’s skin and she ran back into her room. Vriska resolved to disremember this whole incident.

“Well... Maybe not forget..” she said to herself, touching her lips.



Nepeta caught up with Equius after dinner.

“Can you help me with something?”

“That depends. Are you going to keep consorting with those far beneath your station?”

“Blarg, you stop that nonsense! We are the only ones left!”

“Nevertheless, we must continue our civic duty and provide the best example possible.”

“Oh?” Nepeta said, eyes twinkling. “Then lets start with the same charity you gave me.”

“What do you mean?” Equius said cautiously.

“Well, you taught me to be all proper and all that jazzhands. Let me help you do the same for someone else! I need a favor for Tavros.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No. He is lowering you with those silly games when we should be training one hundred percent for the upcoming battle. He has shown no initiative and keeps befouling Gamzee, although I would never question the actions of one who is higher than myself.” He started to walk away.

“But-But this is for battle. Totally only for battle!”

Equius snarled over his shoulder. “What could I possibly do for that wriggling gutter blood that would help him at all? Other than putting him out of his misery and flinging his corpse at the Black King before I engage the monster in hand to hand combat.”

Nepeta grinned to herself. Now she had him! “Two words. Robo Legs.”

“So he could be useless walking instead of useless sitting? I think not.”

“Toooo baadddd... Aradia is not going to be happppyyyyy,” she said in a singsong voice.

“...Why?”

“Well I just thought I heard that she told you to forget about all the blood caste stuff since we all need to work together. Kanaya said as much too.”

“...Doesn’t matter. So she’ll get mad. I can take that fine.”

“Are you suurrre? According to this sneaky kitty detective, she might just give you.... a hug!”

“Hug?”

“Maybe a kiss on the cheek.”

“...Stop that.”

“A quiet night with tea. Watching one of Karkat’s last remaining romcoms and not making fun of it. Maybe even cuddling!”

Equius nearly gagged. “Fine! Ok, I’ll help you, just stop! I’ll make those legs for that rust blooded- uh, valued colleague.” Each word came out through clenched teeth.

“Hooray!” Nepeta started dancing.

“Just find someone to remove his legs.”

“Yes, remove his-wait what? Why would we do that now?”

“‘You’ would need to remove them so ‘I’ can attach the new legs once they are made. That is how it works. I’ll get started. You figure it out and come back to me with the information.” And with that he walked off to his lab.

Nepeta walked back to the dinning hall. Oh, looks like someone left a little bit of meat. She started to nibble on it then spit it out. Yuk, it was all metally and rubbery.

Hmmm.... Now who could help her help Tavi? Karkat had his super sharp surgisickle, but that would ruin the surprise. Terezi would enjoy helping, but she has been really close to Karkat lately... that poopy head. Gamzers was out, CC and CA were outside the complex hunting or swimming or something again... Vriska was a meany...

Oh! Kanaya would help! Plus she had that chainsaw, and those thing cut really clean fine lines. Right? Nepeta happily skipped down the hall to her friend's room.

She knocked on the fashionable troll’s door. “Kananananaya, can I ask you something?”

No answer. That was odd. Kanaya was always up for a little helping or meddling or whatever she called it today. Nepeta knocked again, much louder this time, and the door slowly opened. The smell of freshly cut grass filled the air.

“Kani? I’m coming in, ok?” Inside the room seemed colorful as usual, but something was... off. On the table was that suit they were working on... The wardrobidier Karkat was trying to program with hilarious results looked ok... Huh, she got a new green fabric from somewhere and just let it fall to the ground. Nepeta prodded it and felt liquid. Spilled... green dye? The smell of cut grass was much stronger now.

“L-look, I know you are in here cause the door was unlocked. J-just let me know where you are and stop playing... pranks...”

Behind the table. That wasn’t green dye. This was- Kanaya’s- Behind the table- grey- green- her face oh gog her face-

Nepeta ran from the room, screaming and crying hard. She ran into Sollux and knocked him to the ground.

“You stupid- Whoa, whats going on?”

“Sollux!” she cried, pulling him close. “Kanaya- her face- arms ripped- oh her face was-”

“Calm down! What happened to Kanaya?”

“She-She-She’s dead!”

I've started writing part 2.

Interesting...go on? *patiently waits for part 2*

I got a huge kick out of Nepeta using Equius's regard of Aradia to manipulate him.

[CeeJay]

Ah geez, this one is a dozy.

Little background, this story went through several different reiterations and edits, and I think it comes off a little choppy is places.

Title: And We Come to an End (part 1)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

“Hey Karkitty. Whatcha dooooin?”

“I have told you time and time again not to call me that you nookstain. What the fuck do you want?”

“To know what you are doing of course!” said Nepeta, rolling onto her back.

“I’m not going to touch your stomach so do yourself a favor and vacate from my sight before my eyes vomit.”

“Aw, why not? Terezi rubs my belly.”

“Terezi,” Karkat said while adjusting some dials on a large control panel, “lost a bet.”

“Flooy.” Nepeta stretched out and batted at some dust in the air. Then she yawned and got up. “I’ve never seen this room before.”

“Yeah? And you aren’t going to see anymore. Get the fuck outta here before I pour paint down your throat!” Karkat lunged at the intruder.

The cat girl bounded out of reach and ran behind a large machine. “What does this do? Opps!” The hose she tugged on came out, covering her with a thick smelly green slimelike liquid.

“Ahh! You stupid bitch!”

“Hey! I’ma kitten, not a doggie! What is stuff stuff?”

“Don’t lick it idiot! That’s Tavros!” Karkat grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and dragged Nepeta into the middle of the room. “This stuff is more dangerous than standing between Gamzee and food when he eat sopor slime. Take off those clothes!”

“Oooh Karkat...” Nepeta said, eyes shining.

“What? No! Stupid fuck, clean yourself off, or, or put on that lab coat over there before I add last lights dinner to the mess already on you!” Karkat quickly turned around and heard a snicker behind him.

“So what are you doing? And how is that Tavros? Did you get him to fill a bucket with-”

“No! Damnit, just leave!”

“Cause it’s fine if you and him-”

“Shu-shut up! Fine, whatever! It’s ectobiology, alright?”

“Weee!” Nepeta tackled into the angry troll, knocking him down in a superhug. “What’s ectobiomancy?”

Karkat pushed her off. “Stop being stupid! I know that’s hard when its your natural state of mind and personal being but there is a lot of breakable shit in here. This is a mistake, and you being alive is a bigger mistake. Just leave already.”

“Fine,” said Nepeta, shrugging. She started to walk away, but looked back over her shoulder. “I guess I’ll go ask Terezi why you have a bucket full of big horns.” Karkat glared.

“See this machine? It’s like the teleporters we used to get to the place, only a little different.”

The machine was large, taking up most of the space. In between some glass containers was a small teleporter platform with a tube next to it. The tube was attached to one of them, which was currently half filled with a bubbling green substance. A view screen underneath seemed to show some kind of broken programing code. The middle of the room was the largest teleporter pad Nepeta had ever seen.

“What this does,” Karkat continued, “is views different potential points in time. Not every point may or may not have happened. Regardless, what happens is that even though the point of time could have been from a different history, it still takes a paradox reading of...” He trailed off, seeing the cat girl’s confused yet attentive expression. “Fuck me for thinking you had the basic brain cells needed to not droll on yourself. Guh, just reattach that hose and I’ll rerun the current tests.”

A moment later the pair were staring at a large screen. On it showed a young troll with large horns wearing a green costume of sorts. He was grinning some shit eating grin, small computer in one hand and daggerlance in the other.

“That’s Tavros!” shouted Nepeta, clapping her hands.

“It tends to come back to this point. Fucker is about throw himself off the cliff and some other fucker is going to take him back up the cliff for some gogawful reason. Tiara dipshit is a terrible excuse for a troll, both of them. Now we just target him and-”

Nepeta covered her eyes as a bright flash nearly blinded her. Spots appeared in front of her eyes as she tried to focus on what was happening. Some new green slime was being sucked into the glass tube. Lights flashed and the code screen started running fast. A loud whirling filled the room as hidden gears turned and crunched. Something sparked and Karkat yelled, pushing buttons on a keyboard. Another flash and a scream.

“Ah fuck! Another old man.”

What stood before them was a old, bald, splotchy troll with huge horns drooping dangerously low. It sat on what looked like giant metal chicken legs, rusted and still. Plus, the troll was drooling.

“Is that Tavros? Old Tavros? What happened to him?” She reached out but Karkat slapped her hand away.

“If you wern’t some furry deviant shipping nonsense maker you’d already know. It’s a damned idiot clone.”

“Why... Why isn’t he talking?”

“It is not talking cause its brain is dead. I don’t know why, I don’t care why. Last damn thing I want is a shit load ton of slightly less stupid big horned handicrapped morons wandering around.” The troll ectobiologist picked up his surgisickle with a calculating look on his face.


“What are you going to do?” she said, grabbing his arm.

“I’m going to cull this waste like the others.”

“But-But-”

“You wanna try and feed this thing? Food is low as it is. Imagine the worst day of your life. Your hunts end up with nothing, nobody wants to roleplay with you, that stupid two faced lusus has a bad toothache and needs it pulled. Now imagine all that is happening while standing kneedeep in fecal urine.” Karkat paused dramatically. “Thats what this conversation is like for me. Now get the fuck out-”

“Nooooo!” Nepeta shoved Karkat down and ran to the aged Tavros. “You just can’t kill your friend!” She grabbed him and held him tight.

“It’s already dead. Let it go.”

The shipper shook her head. “No! I don’t care if he’s old or braindead or smelly or anything!”

Karkat faceplamed and said, “No, it’s really already dead. You used to kill shit and eat it, right? Look, can’t you tell?”

“What?” Nepeta sniffed the air and felt the aged Tavros’s neck. “Oh...”

“Yeah, idiot. This is like the 8th one. I’m used to killing these useless things.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door.

“You... killed Tavros eight times?”

“Well, I’ve experimented with most of those nook suckers we call teammates. A lot of them melted. And it’s not Tavros, it's a clone.”

“Melted? Why?”

“Cause ectobiology is craptastic. Shit is worse than that magic that TC uses. You change something by one notch or one second or you stand off to the side and you get a fucking explosion of lusus jizz down your windpipe! End up with a troll who has molasses and butter for blood.”

“Why are you doing this at all?” Nepeta asked with tears in her eyes. “You’re killing our friends!”

“No I’m not!” Karkat shouted, grabbing her shoulders. “These aren’t trolls! They aren't even thinking! Just masses of fucking mutated flesh! I wouldn’t even feed this shit to an ogre! But without them we’d all die! Be dead! No more! I can make Tavros a new body, one that wasn’t broken by a sociopathic pathetic hatebroken huge troll bitch! Make a new body, put his brain in it, put legs on what he has, whatever, as long as he is fixed! And then we can fuck over that ass clown of a Black King! He could actually move up the echeladder and not be a whiny little getting us killed wheelchaired dumbfuck! Otherwise he is going to get me killed and I WON’T DIE! I REFUSE TO DIE! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!” Karkat shoved Nepeta out of the lab and slammed the door shut.

Nepeta walked around in a daze until she ended up in her room. What was going on? They might have only had a little time left, but why was he so angry? Angry at her? He never yelled at her like that... In her room she grabbed her thinking hat. She had made it long ago out of a fuzzy yellow bear.

“Think think think,” She said aloud to herself. “Karkitty is experimenting to make Tavros a new body. But... I don’t think he even knows if that would work or not. He has a plan... What could it be?”

Someone knocked on her door way too hard. The only person who did that without breaking down the door was... “Hey cat freak! Vantas got us food again. Get your turkey ass out here! Of course, if you took your time, I could get your share so go ahead and stay there and I’ll let you know how it was. Ha Ha!”

Nepeta hissed at the door. Stupid jerkface Vriska and her dumb missed eyehole and freaky robo-

Outside Vriska shrugged and started walking away. If that dumb happy girl troll didn't want to accept her pity to make things right then-

“Vrisssskaaaaa!” a grey streak shouted, knocking her to the floor. “How did you get that arrrrrmmmm?!”

“Guh! Get off my you stupid stupidy asshole!” shouted Vriska, struggling to get up from under the surprising weight. “What are you doing with that stupid helmet hat thing?”

Nepeta pulled her up by her collar. “Arm! How’d you get it? Make it?”

“It got blasted off and thanks for bringing up that memory! That’s exactly what I wanted to think about today with Sollux raging over his dead ex and blaming me!” She pushed the bear girl off and dusted herself off. She started to yell again when she saw the look in Nepeta’s eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I... I just need to know, ok?”

“Look, I... Fine, ok, I’ll tell you cause I’m all nice and stuff now. Equius made it after I told him I’d help him with something. You know, he makes all those-”

“Robots! Of course!” Nepeta clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “Equius made your arm and her body and can make new legs for Tavros like old Tavros that wasn’t Tavros and Katkar won’t have to keep killing us!” She excitedly gave Vriska a kiss on the lips. “Thank you thank you! We can save everyone!”

“Guhhhh!!!! I don’t care what roleplay you are doing don’t you kiss me like I’m mated to you alright?”

A green hue colored Nepeta’s skin and she ran back into her room. Vriska resolved to disremember this whole incident.

“Well... Maybe not forget..” she said to herself, touching her lips.



Nepeta caught up with Equius after dinner.

“Can you help me with something?”

“That depends. Are you going to keep consorting with those far beneath your station?”

“Blarg, you stop that nonsense! We are the only ones left!”

“Nevertheless, we must continue our civic duty and provide the best example possible.”

“Oh?” Nepeta said, eyes twinkling. “Then lets start with the same charity you gave me.”

“What do you mean?” Equius said cautiously.

“Well, you taught me to be all proper and all that jazzhands. Let me help you do the same for someone else! I need a favor for Tavros.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No. He is lowering you with those silly games when we should be training one hundred percent for the upcoming battle. He has shown no initiative and keeps befouling Gamzee, although I would never question the actions of one who is higher than myself.” He started to walk away.

“But-But this is for battle. Totally only for battle!”

Equius snarled over his shoulder. “What could I possibly do for that wriggling gutter blood that would help him at all? Other than putting him out of his misery and flinging his corpse at the Black King before I engage the monster in hand to hand combat.”

Nepeta grinned to herself. Now she had him! “Two words. Robo Legs.”

“So he could be useless walking instead of useless sitting? I think not.”

“Toooo baadddd... Aradia is not going to be happppyyyyy,” she said in a singsong voice.

“...Why?”

“Well I just thought I heard that she told you to forget about all the blood caste stuff since we all need to work together. Kanaya said as much too.”

“...Doesn’t matter. So she’ll get mad. I can take that fine.”

“Are you suurrre? According to this sneaky kitty detective, she might just give you.... a hug!”

“Hug?”

“Maybe a kiss on the cheek.”

“...Stop that.”

“A quiet night with tea. Watching one of Karkat’s last remaining romcoms and not making fun of it. Maybe even cuddling!”

Equius nearly gagged. “Fine! Ok, I’ll help you, just stop! I’ll make those legs for that rust blooded- uh, valued colleague.” Each word came out through clenched teeth.

“Hooray!” Nepeta started dancing.

“Just find someone to remove his legs.”

“Yes, remove his-wait what? Why would we do that now?”

“‘You’ would need to remove them so ‘I’ can attach the new legs once they are made. That is how it works. I’ll get started. You figure it out and come back to me with the information.” And with that he walked off to his lab.

Nepeta walked back to the dinning hall. Oh, looks like someone left a little bit of meat. She started to nibble on it then spit it out. Yuk, it was all metally and rubbery.

Hmmm.... Now who could help her help Tavi? Karkat had his super sharp surgisickle, but that would ruin the surprise. Terezi would enjoy helping, but she has been really close to Karkat lately... that poopy head. Gamzers was out, CC and CA were outside the complex hunting or swimming or something again... Vriska was a meany...

Oh! Kanaya would help! Plus she had that chainsaw, and those thing cut really clean fine lines. Right? Nepeta happily skipped down the hall to her friend's room.

She knocked on the fashionable troll’s door. “Kananananaya, can I ask you something?”

No answer. That was odd. Kanaya was always up for a little helping or meddling or whatever she called it today. Nepeta knocked again, much louder this time, and the door slowly opened. The smell of freshly cut grass filled the air.

“Kani? I’m coming in, ok?” Inside the room seemed colorful as usual, but something was... off. On the table was that suit they were working on... The wardrobidier Karkat was trying to program with hilarious results looked ok... Huh, she got a new green fabric from somewhere and just let it fall to the ground. Nepeta prodded it and felt liquid. Spilled... green dye? The smell of cut grass was much stronger now.

“L-look, I know you are in here cause the door was unlocked. J-just let me know where you are and stop playing... pranks...”

Behind the table. That wasn’t green dye. This was- Kanaya’s- Behind the table- grey- green- her face oh gog her face-

Nepeta ran from the room, screaming and crying hard. She ran into Sollux and knocked him to the ground.

“You stupid- Whoa, whats going on?”

“Sollux!” she cried, pulling him close. “Kanaya- her face- arms ripped- oh her face was-”

“Calm down! What happened to Kanaya?”

“She-She-She’s dead!”

I've started writing part 2.

AH! A cliffhanger!? Why would you do that!? *is on pins and needles for the next part*

Also... A thinking hat... made of a yellow bear? "Think, think, think..." : o Is that a Winnie the Pooh reference?

[OracleEngineer]

Ah geez, this one is a dozy.

Little background, this story went through several different reiterations and edits, and I think it comes off a little choppy is places.

Title: And We Come to an End (part 1)

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“Hey Karkitty. Whatcha dooooin?”

“I have told you time and time again not to call me that you nookstain. What the fuck do you want?”

“To know what you are doing of course!” said Nepeta, rolling onto her back.

“I’m not going to touch your stomach so do yourself a favor and vacate from my sight before my eyes vomit.”

“Aw, why not? Terezi rubs my belly.”

“Terezi,” Karkat said while adjusting some dials on a large control panel, “lost a bet.”

“Flooy.” Nepeta stretched out and batted at some dust in the air. Then she yawned and got up. “I’ve never seen this room before.”

“Yeah? And you aren’t going to see anymore. Get the fuck outta here before I pour paint down your throat!” Karkat lunged at the intruder.

The cat girl bounded out of reach and ran behind a large machine. “What does this do? Opps!” The hose she tugged on came out, covering her with a thick smelly green slimelike liquid.

“Ahh! You stupid bitch!”

“Hey! I’ma kitten, not a doggie! What is stuff stuff?”

“Don’t lick it idiot! That’s Tavros!” Karkat grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and dragged Nepeta into the middle of the room. “This stuff is more dangerous than standing between Gamzee and food when he eat sopor slime. Take off those clothes!”

“Oooh Karkat...” Nepeta said, eyes shining.

“What? No! Stupid fuck, clean yourself off, or, or put on that lab coat over there before I add last lights dinner to the mess already on you!” Karkat quickly turned around and heard a snicker behind him.

“So what are you doing? And how is that Tavros? Did you get him to fill a bucket with-”

“No! Damnit, just leave!”

“Cause it’s fine if you and him-”

“Shu-shut up! Fine, whatever! It’s ectobiology, alright?”

“Weee!” Nepeta tackled into the angry troll, knocking him down in a superhug. “What’s ectobiomancy?”

Karkat pushed her off. “Stop being stupid! I know that’s hard when its your natural state of mind and personal being but there is a lot of breakable shit in here. This is a mistake, and you being alive is a bigger mistake. Just leave already.”

“Fine,” said Nepeta, shrugging. She started to walk away, but looked back over her shoulder. “I guess I’ll go ask Terezi why you have a bucket full of big horns.” Karkat glared.

“See this machine? It’s like the teleporters we used to get to the place, only a little different.”

The machine was large, taking up most of the space. In between some glass containers was a small teleporter platform with a tube next to it. The tube was attached to one of them, which was currently half filled with a bubbling green substance. A view screen underneath seemed to show some kind of broken programing code. The middle of the room was the largest teleporter pad Nepeta had ever seen.

“What this does,” Karkat continued, “is views different potential points in time. Not every point may or may not have happened. Regardless, what happens is that even though the point of time could have been from a different history, it still takes a paradox reading of...” He trailed off, seeing the cat girl’s confused yet attentive expression. “Fuck me for thinking you had the basic brain cells needed to not droll on yourself. Guh, just reattach that hose and I’ll rerun the current tests.”

A moment later the pair were staring at a large screen. On it showed a young troll with large horns wearing a green costume of sorts. He was grinning some shit eating grin, small computer in one hand and daggerlance in the other.

“That’s Tavros!” shouted Nepeta, clapping her hands.

“It tends to come back to this point. Fucker is about throw himself off the cliff and some other fucker is going to take him back up the cliff for some gogawful reason. Tiara dipshit is a terrible excuse for a troll, both of them. Now we just target him and-”

Nepeta covered her eyes as a bright flash nearly blinded her. Spots appeared in front of her eyes as she tried to focus on what was happening. Some new green slime was being sucked into the glass tube. Lights flashed and the code screen started running fast. A loud whirling filled the room as hidden gears turned and crunched. Something sparked and Karkat yelled, pushing buttons on a keyboard. Another flash and a scream.

“Ah fuck! Another old man.”

What stood before them was a old, bald, splotchy troll with huge horns drooping dangerously low. It sat on what looked like giant metal chicken legs, rusted and still. Plus, the troll was drooling.

“Is that Tavros? Old Tavros? What happened to him?” She reached out but Karkat slapped her hand away.

“If you wern’t some furry deviant shipping nonsense maker you’d already know. It’s a damned idiot clone.”

“Why... Why isn’t he talking?”

“It is not talking cause its brain is dead. I don’t know why, I don’t care why. Last damn thing I want is a shit load ton of slightly less stupid big horned handicrapped morons wandering around.” The troll ectobiologist picked up his surgisickle with a calculating look on his face.


“What are you going to do?” she said, grabbing his arm.

“I’m going to cull this waste like the others.”

“But-But-”

“You wanna try and feed this thing? Food is low as it is. Imagine the worst day of your life. Your hunts end up with nothing, nobody wants to roleplay with you, that stupid two faced lusus has a bad toothache and needs it pulled. Now imagine all that is happening while standing kneedeep in fecal urine.” Karkat paused dramatically. “Thats what this conversation is like for me. Now get the fuck out-”

“Nooooo!” Nepeta shoved Karkat down and ran to the aged Tavros. “You just can’t kill your friend!” She grabbed him and held him tight.

“It’s already dead. Let it go.”

The shipper shook her head. “No! I don’t care if he’s old or braindead or smelly or anything!”

Karkat faceplamed and said, “No, it’s really already dead. You used to kill shit and eat it, right? Look, can’t you tell?”

“What?” Nepeta sniffed the air and felt the aged Tavros’s neck. “Oh...”

“Yeah, idiot. This is like the 8th one. I’m used to killing these useless things.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door.

“You... killed Tavros eight times?”

“Well, I’ve experimented with most of those nook suckers we call teammates. A lot of them melted. And it’s not Tavros, it's a clone.”

“Melted? Why?”

“Cause ectobiology is craptastic. Shit is worse than that magic that TC uses. You change something by one notch or one second or you stand off to the side and you get a fucking explosion of lusus jizz down your windpipe! End up with a troll who has molasses and butter for blood.”

“Why are you doing this at all?” Nepeta asked with tears in her eyes. “You’re killing our friends!”

“No I’m not!” Karkat shouted, grabbing her shoulders. “These aren’t trolls! They aren't even thinking! Just masses of fucking mutated flesh! I wouldn’t even feed this shit to an ogre! But without them we’d all die! Be dead! No more! I can make Tavros a new body, one that wasn’t broken by a sociopathic pathetic hatebroken huge troll bitch! Make a new body, put his brain in it, put legs on what he has, whatever, as long as he is fixed! And then we can fuck over that ass clown of a Black King! He could actually move up the echeladder and not be a whiny little getting us killed wheelchaired dumbfuck! Otherwise he is going to get me killed and I WON’T DIE! I REFUSE TO DIE! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!” Karkat shoved Nepeta out of the lab and slammed the door shut.

Nepeta walked around in a daze until she ended up in her room. What was going on? They might have only had a little time left, but why was he so angry? Angry at her? He never yelled at her like that... In her room she grabbed her thinking hat. She had made it long ago out of a fuzzy yellow bear.

“Think think think,” She said aloud to herself. “Karkitty is experimenting to make Tavros a new body. But... I don’t think he even knows if that would work or not. He has a plan... What could it be?”

Someone knocked on her door way too hard. The only person who did that without breaking down the door was... “Hey cat freak! Vantas got us food again. Get your turkey ass out here! Of course, if you took your time, I could get your share so go ahead and stay there and I’ll let you know how it was. Ha Ha!”

Nepeta hissed at the door. Stupid jerkface Vriska and her dumb missed eyehole and freaky robo-

Outside Vriska shrugged and started walking away. If that dumb happy girl troll didn't want to accept her pity to make things right then-

“Vrisssskaaaaa!” a grey streak shouted, knocking her to the floor. “How did you get that arrrrrmmmm?!”

“Guh! Get off my you stupid stupidy asshole!” shouted Vriska, struggling to get up from under the surprising weight. “What are you doing with that stupid helmet hat thing?”

Nepeta pulled her up by her collar. “Arm! How’d you get it? Make it?”

“It got blasted off and thanks for bringing up that memory! That’s exactly what I wanted to think about today with Sollux raging over his dead ex and blaming me!” She pushed the bear girl off and dusted herself off. She started to yell again when she saw the look in Nepeta’s eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I... I just need to know, ok?”

“Look, I... Fine, ok, I’ll tell you cause I’m all nice and stuff now. Equius made it after I told him I’d help him with something. You know, he makes all those-”

“Robots! Of course!” Nepeta clapped her hands and jumped up and down. “Equius made your arm and her body and can make new legs for Tavros like old Tavros that wasn’t Tavros and Katkar won’t have to keep killing us!” She excitedly gave Vriska a kiss on the lips. “Thank you thank you! We can save everyone!”

“Guhhhh!!!! I don’t care what roleplay you are doing don’t you kiss me like I’m mated to you alright?”

A green hue colored Nepeta’s skin and she ran back into her room. Vriska resolved to disremember this whole incident.

“Well... Maybe not forget..” she said to herself, touching her lips.



Nepeta caught up with Equius after dinner.

“Can you help me with something?”

“That depends. Are you going to keep consorting with those far beneath your station?”

“Blarg, you stop that nonsense! We are the only ones left!”

“Nevertheless, we must continue our civic duty and provide the best example possible.”

“Oh?” Nepeta said, eyes twinkling. “Then lets start with the same charity you gave me.”

“What do you mean?” Equius said cautiously.

“Well, you taught me to be all proper and all that jazzhands. Let me help you do the same for someone else! I need a favor for Tavros.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No. He is lowering you with those silly games when we should be training one hundred percent for the upcoming battle. He has shown no initiative and keeps befouling Gamzee, although I would never question the actions of one who is higher than myself.” He started to walk away.

“But-But this is for battle. Totally only for battle!”

Equius snarled over his shoulder. “What could I possibly do for that wriggling gutter blood that would help him at all? Other than putting him out of his misery and flinging his corpse at the Black King before I engage the monster in hand to hand combat.”

Nepeta grinned to herself. Now she had him! “Two words. Robo Legs.”

“So he could be useless walking instead of useless sitting? I think not.”

“Toooo baadddd... Aradia is not going to be happppyyyyy,” she said in a singsong voice.

“...Why?”

“Well I just thought I heard that she told you to forget about all the blood caste stuff since we all need to work together. Kanaya said as much too.”

“...Doesn’t matter. So she’ll get mad. I can take that fine.”

“Are you suurrre? According to this sneaky kitty detective, she might just give you.... a hug!”

“Hug?”

“Maybe a kiss on the cheek.”

“...Stop that.”

“A quiet night with tea. Watching one of Karkat’s last remaining romcoms and not making fun of it. Maybe even cuddling!”

Equius nearly gagged. “Fine! Ok, I’ll help you, just stop! I’ll make those legs for that rust blooded- uh, valued colleague.” Each word came out through clenched teeth.

“Hooray!” Nepeta started dancing.

“Just find someone to remove his legs.”

“Yes, remove his-wait what? Why would we do that now?”

“‘You’ would need to remove them so ‘I’ can attach the new legs once they are made. That is how it works. I’ll get started. You figure it out and come back to me with the information.” And with that he walked off to his lab.

Nepeta walked back to the dinning hall. Oh, looks like someone left a little bit of meat. She started to nibble on it then spit it out. Yuk, it was all metally and rubbery.

Hmmm.... Now who could help her help Tavi? Karkat had his super sharp surgisickle, but that would ruin the surprise. Terezi would enjoy helping, but she has been really close to Karkat lately... that poopy head. Gamzers was out, CC and CA were outside the complex hunting or swimming or something again... Vriska was a meany...

Oh! Kanaya would help! Plus she had that chainsaw, and those thing cut really clean fine lines. Right? Nepeta happily skipped down the hall to her friend's room.

She knocked on the fashionable troll’s door. “Kananananaya, can I ask you something?”

No answer. That was odd. Kanaya was always up for a little helping or meddling or whatever she called it today. Nepeta knocked again, much louder this time, and the door slowly opened. The smell of freshly cut grass filled the air.

“Kani? I’m coming in, ok?” Inside the room seemed colorful as usual, but something was... off. On the table was that suit they were working on... The wardrobidier Karkat was trying to program with hilarious results looked ok... Huh, she got a new green fabric from somewhere and just let it fall to the ground. Nepeta prodded it and felt liquid. Spilled... green dye? The smell of cut grass was much stronger now.

“L-look, I know you are in here cause the door was unlocked. J-just let me know where you are and stop playing... pranks...”

Behind the table. That wasn’t green dye. This was- Kanaya’s- Behind the table- grey- green- her face oh gog her face-

Nepeta ran from the room, screaming and crying hard. She ran into Sollux and knocked him to the ground.

“You stupid- Whoa, whats going on?”

“Sollux!” she cried, pulling him close. “Kanaya- her face- arms ripped- oh her face was-”

“Calm down! What happened to Kanaya?”

“She-She-She’s dead!”

I've started writing part 2.

*gasp* You meanie heads and your cliff hangers!

But seriously, this is pretty great, can't wait for part 2!

[Ale]

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new part i guess

this needs a title. :/

---

Of course, Terezi didn’t tell them. That would have taken all the fun out of it. She merely explained that she had gotten a taste of it the day Sollux had punched him, while Karkat sat in the corner, torn between seething anger and nauseous anxiety. After that, she had given a theatrical yawn and declared that the night’s roleplaying session was over.

Karkat was only too happy to escape from Terezi’s quarters. He ignored Tavros’ awkward attempts at conversation on the way back to the wing they shared with Sollux and Gamzee. “So, um...” Tavros ventured, “Terezi is, um, I mean, she’s...she likes to roleplay a lot, huh?” When that observation was met with stony silence, Tavros bravely tried again. “Do you want, you know...want to talk about it? Your blood, I mean? It’s not like it’s, um, like it really matters, but you know, if you ever want to talk about...” His voice trailed off. Karkat was looking down at the floor, chewing his lower lip and looking visibly ill. Tavros stopped at his room and waved a feeble goodbye to Karkat, who took no notice.

Nepeta retreated back to her own room, which was next door to Equius’. Karkat was sure that by the morning, the imposing blue-blood would have heard all about Terezi’s discovery; Nepeta was notoriously awful at keeping secrets from Equius. Karkat knew Equius already suspected that he was lower on the hemochrome spectrum than his own “pure blue blood,” but if he had any idea of how low -- Karkat swallowed hard and tried to put the thought out of his mind.

A troll on the lower end of the hemocastes usually learns quickly not to flaunt their blood color. Karkat supposed his few low-blooded friends were different. Sollux didn’t care about the caste system. He was just high enough to not have to worry about getting culled as a larva.

Aradia held her low blood almost as a point of pride, while she had been alive. But even she was reluctant to let strangers know where on the spectrum she fell. As far as Karkat knew, she was only being kept around so that the Breeding Assistant trolls could harvest her genetic material to infuse into the Mother Grub because -- he hated to admit it -- she was exceptionally beautiful, for a troll. Or at least she had been.

Tavros was just an idiot who never seemed to notice the correlation between telling people about his rust-colored blood and how badly others treated him. He gladly informed anyone who asked about his low blood-status, and, well, look where that had gotten him. Karkat was frankly surprised that he had avoided being culled as a larva.

But Karkat was different. Not only was he lower -- far lower -- on the hemochrome spectrum, he liked to believe he was smarter than they were. More of a survivalist. He had learned to fall back on grey for everything. Others couldn’t abuse him if there was a chance he might be the troll equivalent of royalty, right?

But now they knew that Terezi knew his blood color. Terezi, the feral, tree-born, spittle-flecked, manipulative psycho. Her blood was nearly as good as Vriska’s -- she had certainly never had to worry about anyone making fun of her for her blood color.

Karkat, on the other hand, had narrowly avoided being culled several times as a larva. He wasn’t sure if his survival had been due to a bureaucratic oversight or incompetent Larval Evaluators. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t because of sympathy.

He made his way back to his quarters and landed on his sleeping pad with a thump. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep that night.

Once more I am floored by your excellent writing and am desperate for more I really love this story and can't wait to read more. I am excited every time that I see you have updated it.

I can see them culling some of the lower bloods, but only if they are more useless. Or maybe just the freak mutation bloods. *shrugs*

Please keep updating this story.

[breccia]

A silly pesterlog fic sequel to Two Dots. Writing in this style with so many characters is super fun, so I make no claims about this having a greater purpose or meaning.

PAPERANDPENCIL COLORED THIS AND IS INTENSELY AWESOME <3

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-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] —

AC: :33 < karkat! can you help me with something?
CG: WHAT
CG: NO
CG: I AM TREMENDOUSLY BUSY ALREADY NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE GOING TO SAY
AC: :33 < but you're the best purrson to talk to about this!!
CG: OH
CG: WELL THEN
CG: THE OVERWHELMING FLATTERY I CURRENTLY FEEL GREATLY OUTWEIGHS MY DISDAIN FOR INTERACTING WITH YOU IN ANY WAY
CG: OH WAIT. I THINK ACTUALLY I MIGHT FEEL THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I JUST SAID.
AC: :33 < *ac starts batting absentmindedly at karkat's shoelaces, ignoring him! :PP*
AC: :33 < *ac gets bored with the laces and climbs up onto karkat's desk and plops herself down right on his keyboard!*
CG: I GUESS THE BENEFIT TO PLAYING ALONG WITH YOU WOULD BE THAT I COULD ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE JUST HOW FUCKING ANNOYED I LOOK RIGHT NOW
AC: :33 < *ac giggles as karkat taps the keys around her furry behind*
CG: OH GOD.
AC: :33 < please?? :33
AC: :33 < hello?
AC: :33 < are you ignoring me again? :((
AC: :33 < come on! i know that you really like romance movies and you talk about the different troll feelings all the time!
CG: YEAH SO WHAT
CG: IT IS A COMPLEX TOPIC
CG: ITS SUPER FUCKING COMPLEX
CG: IT IS LIKE LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH YOUR BRAIN
CG: LIKE TAKING HYPERROIDS FOR YOUR IQ
CG: I'M A FUCKING ACADEMIC SUPERTROLL ON THE SUBJECT
CG: FUCKING TROLL EINSTEIN
AC: :33 < *ac grins and hops off karkat's keyboard, purring happily*
AC: :33 < i know! you are! :33
CG: OK I SUPPOSE I CAN LEND YOU MY FUCKING OUTSTANDING BRAIN FOR A BIT
CG: IM LIKE A FUCKING CHARITY WORKER HERE JEGUS
AC: :33 < yay!
AC: :33 < ok sooo i have this shipping wall, right?
CG: WHAT
AC: :33 < *ac grins sheepishly*
AC: :33 < I've been trying to pin down who should be paired up with who in our group of friends!
CG: I AM DISGUSTED BY SO MANY THINGS YOU JUST SAID
CG: ITS HARD TO DISTINGUISH WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST
CG: BECAUSE IT IS ALL SO OVERWHELMING
AC: :33 < *ac sticks her tongue out at karkat playfully*
AC: :33 < i know you are interested in this too!
AC: :33 < in fact i bet it is killing you right now to know who i think you should be paired with ;33
CG: HUH
CG: WOW
CG: IS THIS FEELING WHAT I THINK IT IS?
CG: YES, IT IS MOST DEFINITELY THE FEELING OF BEING UTTERLY INCAPABLE OF GIVING EVEN A TINY FRACTION OF A SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID
AC: :33 < h33 h33 karkat i totally don't believe you for a second
AC: :33 < i have it on good authority that you're actually personally involved in this subject!
CG: WHAT
AC: :33 < i have sources ;33
CG: SOMETHING THAT MOST NON-RETARDED TROLLS CALL "FACTS" ARE INSISTING THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT
AC: :33 < :PP sollux even backed it up!
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
CG: WHAT DID HE SAY
CG: SOLLUX IS FUCKING INSANE
CG: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT
CG: WHAT DID HE SAY
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33!!! this is so cute :33
CG: OK I AM SHARPENING MY SICKLE
CG: RIGHT NOW
CG: AND ENGRAVING THE NAME SOLLUX CAPTOR ON TO IT
CG: BECAUSE I AM GOING TO HAVE TO EVISCERATE HIM
AC: :33 < don't do that :PP
CG: CAN YOU PASTE EXACTLY WHAT HE WROTE
AC: :33 < *ac holds back a giggle*
CG: UGH


-- twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: um kk are you there
CG: NO
TA: ii2 nepeta talkiing two you
CG: WHY
CG: DID YOU SAY SOMETHING FUCKED UP TO HER ABOUT ME
CG: AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO COVER FOR YOUR MULTI-COLORED ASS?
TA: iit2 not liike that
TA: 2he wa2 talkiing two me before and 2he 2aiid 2ome pretty fucked up 2hiit.
TA: ii triied two explaiin but ii thiink ii may have ju2t 2trengthened her ca2e
TA: aradiia 2aiid 2omethiing two her ii gue22.
TA: about you.
TA: and uh ii gue22 me.
CG: OK GOING BACK TO SHARPEN MY SICKLE AGAIN
CG: WOULD YOU PREFER THE ENGRAVING TO SAY YOUR FULL NAME OR DO YOU WANT YOUR TROLL HANDLE
CG: BASICALLY IT DOESNT MATTER TO ME BUT SINCE IM ABOUT TO KILL YOU I THOUGHT ID BE GENEROUS AND FIGURE OUT THE PROPER EPITAPH
TA: fuck you ii diidnt do 2hit, thii2 ii2 all your fault and you know iit!
CG: IT IS NOT MY FAULT
CG: YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE AT FAULT
CG: ALTERNIA'S ONE FUCKING CONTINENTAL PLATE SHELF IS FUCKING JEALOUS OF HOW BIG YOUR FAULT IS
TA: that doe2nt even make 2en2e, are you attempting two make a fuckiing 2eii2mogony joke here or 2omethiing?
CG: MAYBE I'M ALSO A FUCKING WIZARD WITH SEISMOGONY HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT
CG: OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY TELLING EVERYONE ON THE FUCKING PLANET THAT IM THE ONLY GO-TO-GUY FOR ROMANCE QUESTIONS
TA: haha kk you know you would be proud of that tiitle on any other day of the 2olar 2weep.
CG: SHUT UP

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] –


AC: :33 < karkat quit ignoring me!
AC: :33 < i want your opinion on this
AC: :33 < it's important and you are the best purrson to talk to
CG: IF I GIVE YOU ONE OF MY GRAINY LITTLE FUCKING PEARLSTONES OF WISDOM WILL YOU TELL ME WHAT SOLLUX SAID AND THEN ALSO FORGET EVERYTHING HE SAID
CG: AND ALSO EVERYTHING THE FUCKING DIRT EATING TROLL INDIANA JONES GIRL SAID
AC: :33 < ooh so you already know what i'm talking about!
CG: WHAT
CG: NO
CG: I JUST ASSUME
CG: BECAUSE THEY'RE TOGETHER A LOT
CG: SOLLUX AND HER
CG: SO SHE IS PROBABLY INVOLVED
CG: FUCK YOU
CG: JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU WITH
AC: :33 < okkk well ... i kind of have a crush on someone.
CG: GREAT
AC: :33 < and also someone else ;((
CG: SUPER
AC: :33 < how can i decide who to choose? cause i like them both a lot and i think they like me back.
AC: :33 < but i also think they could be paired up with other people really well, too!
AC: :33 < I was hoping you could tell me how you knew when you found the right purrson
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT
AC: :33 < wait i thought you knew what i was talking about :xx eeeep sorry should I not know?


-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] –

CG: SOLLUX
CG: DO ME A FAVOR AND CHECK YOUR PULSE RIGHT NOW
CG: BECAUSE I THINK THAT THE BURNING HATRED I AM SENDING IN YOUR DIRECTION MAY ACTUALLY BE CAPABLE OF BORING A HOLE STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR FUCKED UP SKULL
TA: what diid 2he 2ay
TA: ii diidnt 2ay anythiing
TA: ii 2wear
TA: kk
TA: ok thii2 ii2 your fault anyway!
TA: kk?
TA: fiine fuck you two


-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ApocalypseArisen [AA] –

CG: AAAUGH
AA: 0h
AA: hi karkat
CG: IS RUINING MY LIFE YOUR NEW GOAL
CG: DID THE FUCKING DIRT RUN OUT OF ALL ITS CHARM AND SPLENDOR
CG: AND NOW YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON MAKING ME MORE MISERABLE THAN I NORMALLY AM
AA: what are y0u talking ab0ut
CG: DID YOU TELL AC ABOUT WHAT I SAID AT SOLLUX'S HIVESTEM
AA: y0u mean when y0u c0nfessed y0ur l0ve f0r him?
CG: THAT IS NOT WHAT I DID BUT YES THAT IS THE TIME I AM REFERRING TO
AA: ha
AA: n0pe
AA: i didnt say anything t0 nepeta
CG: WELL THEN WHY DOES SHE THINK I HAVE MATING FONDNESS FOR SOLLUX
AA: i d0nt kn0w. maybe she heard it fr0m s0me0ne else?
CG: THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO KNOWS IS SOLLUX
CG: NOT THAT IT IS TRUE
CG: BUT HE WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THERE
CG: UNLESS
CG: DID YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE
AA: well
AA: i th0ught that terezi w0uld get a kick 0ut of it
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW
CG: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH


TA: kk
TA: um


-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] –

CG: OKAY
AC: :33 < *ac perks up at karkat's return, her whiskers twitching cutely*
CG: OKAY SO LETS GET ALL OUR FUCKING FACTS IN ORDER
AC: :33 < ok!! then you'll help me with my question?
CG: NO
AC: :33 < :((
CG: WHAT EXACTLY DID GC TELL YOU
CG: BECAUSE I AM FAIRLY CONFIDENT SHE IS SLANDERING ME
AC: :33 < :PP karkat its not slander if its true you know that
CG: WHAT THE FUCK
AC: :33 < i'm sorry! i didn't think you'd mind that i knew!
CG: ITS NOT TRUE
CG: TELL ME WHAT SHE SAID
AC: :33 < she said that when you were at sollux's hivestem with aradia, you got all jealous and fought with her and made her leave and then you made out with sollux for like an hour
CG: OK SEE
CG: WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANY OF THAT IS TRUE
CG: ESPECIALLY IF FUCKING GC SAID IT
AC: :33 < i don't know, i thought it was true!! isn't it?
CG: OF COURSE IT ISNT
AC: :33 < oh... really? :(( i was kind of excited, i already circled you guys on my shipping wall and everything! i totally called it months ago!
CG: OH GOD
CG: ITS NOT TRUE
AC: :33 < but aradia said she did leave cause you started saying really weird things about sollux
AC: :33 < and i dont know that aradia has ever lied to me before
CG: OK SO MAYBE SOME WEIRD MISUNDERSTANDINGS OCCURED
CG: BUT I MOST DEFINITELY DID NOT EVEN GO ANYWHERE NEAR SOLLUX'S DISGUSTING SPITHOLE
AC: :33 < really?? that is kind of disappointing :((
CG: UGGGHHHH


CG: I HATE YOU
AA: haha
AA: i 0nly t0ld her the truth
AA: y0u kn0w she just likes t0 mess with y0u
AA: t0 be h0nest i think she was kind 0f jeal0us
CG: OH GOD
CG: I JUST THREW UP
CG: ALL OVER MY SCREEN
AA: haha
AA: s0rry karkat
AA: i kn0w h0w hard it must be when s0 many pe0ple like y0u
AA: haha


-- grimAuxillatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] —

GA: Karkat I Have Heard Some Gossip Concerning You
GA: Though It Is Not My Forte I Must Admit I Am Intrigued And Would Like To Verify Its Accuracy
GA: Are You There?


-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

AT: uHH,
AT: sORRY, ITS JUST THAT, GAMZEE WAS TALKING TO ME AND HE SAID THAT HE HEARD THAT YOU AND SOLLUX WERE MATESPRITS NOW I GUESS
AT: i DONT REALLY WANT TO, UHH, HEAR ANY DETAILS OR ANYTHING
AT: bUT I JUST WAS KIND OF CURIOUS
AT: bECAUSE I DONT HAVE ONE YET
AT: wHATS IT LIKE?


-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

AG: Kaaaaaaaarkat!
AG: oh my god i can't 8elieve it!!!!!
AG: i always knew you were a weirdo ::::D
AG: it is just tooo classic
AG: how crushed was aradia when you jumped on sollux?? >::::D
AG: tell me tell me tell meeeee
AG: did she cry?
AG: you have to tell meeeeeeeeee
AG: i promise i wont make fun of you anymore if you tell me!
AG: tell me exactly what she looked like
AG: when you did it
AG: like, can you describe her face for me?
AG: >::::DDD


TA: kk diid you leave?
TA: ii thiink we can stiill clear thii2 up wiith everybody
TA: ii dont thiink iit 2pread two everybody yet
TA: nobody beliieve2 terezii anyway 2he iis totally iin2ane
TA: are you mad at me now?
TA: you're the one who diid iit you know!
TA: you dont have to take iit out on me!
TA: you're 2o 2tubborn and 2tupiid karkat fuck you you got u2 iinto thii2 me22 you can ju2t get your2elf out

-- twinArmageddons [AT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

CT: D --> Vantas
CT: D --> On any other occasion you know I would not steep so low as to talk to you
CT: D --> But I need to e%press my disgust
CT: D --> And verify the accuracy of this gossip
CT: D --> Though I suppose it is in everyone's best interest that you gutterb100ds stick together
CT: D --> Rather than try to facilitate any sort of redrom with one of a more pristine hemochrome
CT: D --> Even though it disgusts me
CT: D --> Tell me
CT: D --> Did you really steal him away that maroon-b100ded girl
CT: D --> Is she now without a matesprit
CT: D --> I mean
CT: D --> I guess what I am trying to say is that you are disgusting and it fills me with immense frustration that those of finer pedigrees actually speak to you on a regular basis, despite my best attempts to persuade them otherwise
CT: D --> Enjoy your disgusting life with that yellow-b100ded freak
CT: D -->You deserve each other

-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –


-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

CC: KARKAT
CC: 38) glub glub glub!
CC: Kanaya said you )(ave mating fondness for Sollux now!
CC: IS T)(AT TRU-E? 38D
CC: I am kind of jealous actually!
CC: All I )(ave is a dumb moirail!
CC: )(a)(a!
CC: t)(at's cool thoug)( do you want to talk about it?
CC: 38)


-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

GC: SORRY K4RK4T
GC: 1 JUST GOT SOOOO J34LOUS
GC: 1 THOUGHT 1 W4S GONN4 G3T YOUR F1RST K1SS >:D
GC: H3H3H3


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

CT: D --> Vantas if you could verify this for me I would have to admit that I'd be grateful
CT: D --> I like to keep track
CT: D --> Of all you gutterb100ds
CT: D --> That's all this is

-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –


-- twinArmageddons [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

TA: 2orry are you stiill there ii diidnt mean iit
TA: ii ju2t got angry cau2e terezii 2tarted tea2ing me
TA: and ii kiind of fliiped my 2hiit
TA: agaiin
TA: kk?
TA: ii 2aiid im 2orry!! jegu2!!!

-- twinArmageddons [AT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –


GC: 4WW 4R3 YOU M4D 4T M3 NOW? >:[
GC: 1TS OK4Y 1 DONT TH1NK SOLLUX 1S BUSY R1GHT NOW 1M SUR3 H3 C4N COM3 OV3R TO COMFORT YOU >;]
GC: OK4Y HOW 4BOUT TH1S
GC: 1F 1TS TRU3
GC: DONT S4Y 4NYTH1NG!


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

CT: D --> I can't believe you would deny my request like this
CT: D --> Dealing with your kind is so laborious
CT: D --> Vantas tell me now
CT: D --> I am very angry
CT: D --> That is all I am feeling
CT: D --> It is getting very hot in here
CT: D --> Perhaps we can make a deal
CT: D --> An e%change of some sort
CT: D--> Vantas

-- centaursTesticle [CT]'s computer shorted out –


GC: H3H3H3H3H3
GC: 4WW DONT B3 SUCH 4 POOR SPORT >:P


AC: :33 < ok karkat
AC: :33 < how about you just tell me
AC: :33 < between tavros and terezi
AC: :33 < who do you like better
AC: :33 < i'm just curious :33
AC: :33 < that's all!


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] —

CT: D --> Vantas my computer shorted out for a second
CT: D --> It got wet
CT: D --> Somehow
CT: D --> Did you answer my question while I was away
CT: D --> Repeat it if you did


-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] –

TC: aWwW sHiT bRo
TC: mY mOtHeRfUcKiN cOnGrAtUlAtIoNs :o)
TC: tHaT iS tHe ShIt rIgHt hErE
TC: LiFe iS sO mOtHeRfUcKiN bEaUtIfUl
TC: i WrOtE a RaP fOr YoU
TC: iTs LiKe My MoThErFuCkIn GiFt FoR yOu!
TC: fUcKiN pOeTrY aLl Up In ThIs BiTcH

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG]s computer has been smashed to tiny pieces –

TC: hAhAhA
TC: oH sHit BrO
TC: ReAlLy?

[Bardic Feline]

A silly pesterlog fic sequel to Two Dots. Writing in this style with so many characters is super fun, so I make no claims about this having a greater purpose or meaning.

Let me know if the formatting is hard to read. I just am not up to coloring it all.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AC: :33 < karkat! can you help me with something?
CG: WHAT
CG: NO
CG: I AM TREMENDOUSLY BUSY ALREADY NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE GOING TO SAY
AC: :33 < but you're the best purrson to talk to about this!!
CG: OH
CG: WELL THEN
CG: THE OVERWHELMING FLATTERY I CURRENTLY FEEL GREATLY OUTWEIGHS MY DISDAIN FOR INTERACTING WITH YOU IN ANY WAY
CG: OH WAIT. I THINK ACTUALLY I MIGHT FEEL THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I JUST SAID.
AC: :33 < *ac starts batting absentmindedly at karkat's shoelaces, ignoring him! :PP*
AC: :33 < *ac gets bored with the laces and climbs up onto karkat's desk and plops herself down right on his keyboard!*
CG: I GUESS THE BENEFIT TO PLAYING ALONG WITH YOU WOULD BE THAT I COULD ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE JUST HOW FUCKING ANNOYED I LOOK RIGHT NOW
AC: :33 < *ac giggles as karkat taps the keys around her furry behind*
CG: OH GOD.
AC: :33 < please?? :33

AC: :33 < hello?

AC: :33 < are you ignoring me again? :((
AC: :33 < come on! i know that you really like romance movies and you talk about the different troll feelings all the time!
CG: YEAH SO WHAT
CG: IT IS A COMPLEX TOPIC
CG: ITS SUPER FUCKING COMPLEX
CG: IT IS LIKE LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH YOUR BRAIN
CG: LIKE TAKING HYPERROIDS FOR YOUR IQ
CG: I'M A FUCKING ACADEMIC SUPERTROLL ON THE SUBJECT
CG: FUCKING TROLL EINSTEIN
AC: :33 < *ac grins and hops off karkat's keyboard, purring happily*
AC: :33 < i know! you are! :33
CG: OK I SUPPOSE I CAN LEND YOU MY FUCKING OUTSTANDING BRAIN FOR A BIT
CG: IM LIKE A FUCKING CHARITY WORKER HERE JEGUS
AC: :33 < yay!
AC: :33 < ok sooo i have this shipping wall, right?
CG: WHAT
AC: :33 < *ac grins sheepishly*
AC: :33 < I've been trying to pin down who should be paired up with who in our group of friends!
CG: I AM DISGUSTED BY SO MANY THINGS YOU JUST SAID
CG: ITS HARD TO DISTINGUISH WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST
CG: BECAUSE IT IS ALL SO OVERWHELMING
AC: :33 < *ac sticks her tongue out at karkat playfully*
AC: :33 < i know you are interested in this too!
AC: :33 < in fact i bet it is killing you right now to know who i think you should be paired with ;33
CG: HUH
CG: WOW
CG: IS THIS FEELING WHAT I THINK IT IS?
CG: YES, IT IS MOST DEFINITELY THE FEELING OF BEING UTTERLY INCAPABLE OF GIVING EVEN A TINY FRACTION OF A SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID
AC: :33 < h33 h33 karkat i totally don't believe you for a second
AC: :33 < i have it on good authority that you're actually personally involved in this subject!
CG: WHAT
AC: :33 < i have sources ;33
CG: SOMETHING THAT MOST NON-RETARDED TROLLS CALL "FACTS" ARE INSISTING THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT
AC: :33 < :PP sollux even backed it up!
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
CG: WHAT DID HE SAY
CG: SOLLUX IS FUCKING INSANE
CG: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT
CG: WHAT DID HE SAY
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33!!! this is so cute :33
CG: OK I AM SHARPENING MY SICKLE
CG: RIGHT NOW
CG: AND ENGRAVING THE NAME SOLLUX CAPTOR ON TO IT
CG: BECAUSE I AM GOING TO HAVE TO EVISCERATE HIM
AC: :33 < don't do that :PP
CG: CAN YOU PASTE EXACTLY WHAT HE WROTE
AC: :33 < *ac holds back a giggle*
CG: UGH

-- twinArmageddons[TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: um kk are you there
CG: NO
TA: ii2 nepeta talkiing two you
CG: WHY
CG: DID YOU SAY SOMETHING FUCKED UP TO HER ABOUT ME
CG: AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO COVER FOR YOUR MULTI-COLORED ASS?
TA: iit2 not liike that
TA: 2he wa2 talkiing two me before and 2he 2aiid 2ome pretty fucked up 2hiit.
TA: ii triied two explaiin but ii thiink ii may have ju2t 2trengthened her ca2e
TA: aradiia 2aiid 2omethiing two her ii gue22.
TA: about you.
TA: and uh ii gue22 me.
CG: OK GOING BACK TO SHARPEN MY SICKLE AGAIN
CG: WOULD YOU PREFER THE ENGRAVING TO SAY YOUR FULL NAME OR DO YOU WANT YOUR TROLL HANDLE
CG: BASICALLY IT DOESNT MATTER TO ME BUT SINCE IM ABOUT TO KILL YOU I THOUGHT ID BE GENEROUS AND FIGURE OUT THE PROPER EPITAPH
TA: fuck you ii diidnt do 2hit, thii2 ii2 all your fault and you know iit!
CG: IT IS NOT MY FAULT
CG: YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE AT FAULT
CG: ALTERNIA'S ONE FUCKING CONTINENTAL PLATE SHELF IS FUCKING JEALOUS OF HOW BIG YOUR FAULT IS
TA: that doe2nt even make 2en2e, are you attempting two make a fuckiing 2eiismogony joke here or 2omethiing?
CG: MAYBE I'M ALSO A FUCKING WIZARD WITH SEISMOGONY HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT
CG: OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY TELLING EVERYONE ON THE FUCKING PLANET THAT IM THE ONLY GO-TO-GUY FOR ROMANCE QUESTIONS
TA: haha kk you know you would be proud of that tiitle on any other day of the 2olar 2weep.
CG: SHUT UP

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --


AC: :33 < karkat quit ignoring me!
AC: :33 < i want your opinion on this
AC: :33 < it's important and you are the best purrson to talk to
CG: IF I GIVE YOU ONE OF MY GRAINY LITTLE FUCKING PEARLSTONES OF WISDOM WILL YOU TELL ME WHAT SOLLUX SAID AND THEN ALSO FORGET EVERYTHING HE SAID
CG: AND ALSO EVERYTHING THE FUCKING DIRT EATING TROLL INDIANA JONES GIRL SAID
AC: :33 < ooh so you already know what i'm talking about!
CG: WHAT
CG: NO
CG: I JUST ASSUME
CG: BECAUSE THEY'RE TOGETHER A LOT
CG: SOLLUX AND HER
CG: SO SHE IS PROBABLY INVOLVED
CG: FUCK YOU
CG: JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU WITH
AC: :33 < okkk well ... i kind of have a crush on someone.
CG: GREAT
AC: :33 < and also someone else ;((
CG: SUPER
AC: :33 < how can i decide who to choose? cause i like them both a lot and i think they like me back.
AC: :33 < but i also think they could be paired up with other people really well, too!
AC: :33 < I was hoping you could tell me how you knew when you found the right purrson
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT
AC: :33 < wait i thought you knew what i was talking about :xx eeeep sorry should i not know?


-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

CG: SOLLUX
CG: DO ME A FAVOR AND CHECK YOUR PULSE RIGHT NOW
CG: BECAUSE I THINK THAT THE BURNING HATRED I AM SENDING IN YOUR DIRECTION MAY ACTUALLY BE CAPABLE OF BORING A HOLE STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR FUCKED UP SKULL
TA: what diid 2he 2ay
TA: ii diidnt 2ay anythiing
TA: ii 2wear
TA: kk
TA: ok thii2 ii2 your fault anyway!
TA: kk?
TA: fiine fuck you two


-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ApocalypseArisen [AA] --

CG: AAAUGH
AA: 0h
AA: hi karkat
CG: IS RUINING MY LIFE YOUR NEW GOAL
CG: DID THE FUCKING DIRT RUN OUT OF ALL ITS CHARM AND SPLENDOR
CG: AND NOW YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON MAKING ME MORE MISERABLE THAN I NORMALLY AM
AA: what are y0u talking ab0ut
CG: DID YOU TELL AC ABOUT WHAT I SAID AT SOLLUX'S HIVESTEM
AA: y0u mean when y0u c0nfessed y0ur l0ve f0r him?
CG: THAT IS NOT WHAT I DID BUT YES THAT IS THE TIME I AM REFERRING TO
AA: ha
AA: n0pe
AA: i didnt say anything t0 nepeta
CG: WELL THEN WHY DOES SHE THINK I HAVE MATING FONDNESS FOR SOLLUX
AA: i d0nt kn0w. maybe she heard it fr0m s0me0ne else?
CG: THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO KNOWS IS SOLLUX
CG: NOT THAT IT IS TRUE
CG: BUT HE WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THERE
CG: UNLESS
CG: DID YOU TELL ANYONE ELSE
AA: well
AA: i th0ught that terezi w0uld get a kick 0ut of it
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW


CG: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH
TA: kk
TA: um


-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

CG: OKAY
AC: :33 < *ac perks up at karkat's return, her whiskers twitching cutely*
CG: OKAY SO LETS GET ALL OUR FUCKING FACTS IN ORDER
AC: :33 < ok!! then you'll help me with my question?
CG: NO
AC: :33 < :((
CG: WHAT EXACTLY DID GC TELL YOU
CG: BECAUSE I AM FAIRLY CONFIDENT SHE IS SLANDERING ME
AC: :33 < :PP karkat its not slander if its true you know that
CG: WHAT THE FUCK
AC: :33 < i'm sorry! i didn't think you'd mind that i knew!
CG: ITS NOT TRUE
CG: TELL ME WHAT SHE SAID
AC: :33 < she said that when you were at sollux's hivestem with aradia, you got all jealous and fought with her and made her leave and then you made out with sollux for like an hour
CG: OK SEE
CG: WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANY OF THAT IS TRUE
CG: ESPECIALLY IF FUCKING GC SAID IT
AC: :33 < i don't know, i thought it was true!! isn't it?
CG: OF COURSE IT ISNT
AC: :33 < oh... really? :(( i was kind of excited, i already circled you guys on my shipping wall and everything! i totally called it months ago!
CG: OH GOD
CG: ITS NOT TRUE
AC: :33 < but aradia said she did leave cause you started saying really weird things about sollux
AC: :33 < and i dont know that aradia has ever lied to me before
CG: OK SO MAYBE SOME WEIRD MISUNDERSTANDINGS OCCURED
CG: BUT I MOST DEFINITELY DID NOT EVEN GO ANYWHERE NEAR SOLLUX'S DISGUSTING SPITHOLE
AC: :33 < really?? that is kind of disappointing :((
CG: UGGGHHHH


CG: I HATE YOU
AA: haha
AA: i 0nly t0ld her the truth
AA: y0u kn0w she just likes t0 mess with y0u
AA: t0 be h0nest i think she was kind 0f jeal0us
CG: OH GOD
CG: I JUST THREW UP
CG: ALL OVER MY SCREEN
AA: haha
AA: s0rry karkat
AA: i kn0w h0w hard it must be when s0 many pe0ple like y0u
AA: haha


-- grimAuxillatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GA: Karkat I Have Heard Some Gossip Concerning You
GA: Though It Is Not My Forte I Must Admit I Am Intrigued And Would Like To Verify Its Accuracy
GA: Are You There?


-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AT: uHH,
AT: sORRY, ITS JUST THAT, GAMZEE WAS TALKING TO ME AND HE SAID THAT HE HEARD THAT YOU AND SOLLUX WERE MATESPRITS NOW I GUESS
AT: i DONT REALLY WANT TO, UHH, HEAR ANY DETAILS OR ANYTHING
AT: bUT I JUST WAS KIND OF CURIOUS
AT: bECAUSE I DONT HAVE ONE YET
AT: wHATS IT LIKE?


-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AG: Kaaaaaaaarkat!
AG: oh my god i can't 8elieve it!!!!!
AG: i always knew you were a weirdo :::D
AG: it is just tooo classic
AG: how crushed was aradia when you jumped on sollux?? >:::D
AG: tell me tell me tell meeeee
AG: did she cry?
AG: you have to tell meeeeeeeeee
AG: i promise i wont make fun of you anymore if you tell me!
AG: tell me exactly what she looked like
AG: when you did it
AG: like, can you describe her face for me?
AG: >:::DDD


TA: kk diid you leave?
TA: ii thiink we can stiill clear thii2 up wiith everybody
TA: ii dont thiink iit 2pread two everybody yet
TA: nobody beliieve2 terezii anyway 2he iis totally iin2ane
TA: are you mad at me now?
TA: you're the one who diid iit you know!
TA: you dont have to take iit out on me!
TA: you're 2o 2tubborn and 2tupiid karkat fuck you you got u2 iinto thii2 me22 you can ju2t get your2elf out

-- twinArmageddons [AT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CT: D --> Vantas
CT: D --> On any other occasion you know I would not steep so low as to talk to you
CT: D --> But I need to e%press my disgust
CT: D --> And verify the accuracy of this gossip
CT: D --> Though I suppose it is in everyone's best interest that you gutterb100ds stick together
CT: D --> Rather than try to facilitate any sort of redrom with one of a more pristine hemochrome
CT: D --> Even though it disgusts me
CT: D --> Tell me
CT: D --> Did you really steal him away that maroon-b100ded girl
CT: D --> Is she now without a matesprit
CT: D --> I mean
CT: D --> I guess what I am trying to say is that you are disgusting and it fills me with immense frustration that those of finer pedigrees actually speak to you on a regular basis, despite my best attempts to persuade them otherwise
CT: D --> Enjoy your disgusting life with that yellow-b100ded freak
CT: D -->You deserve each other

-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --


-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CC: KARKAT
CC: 38) glub glub glub!
CC: Kanaya said you )(ave mating fondness for Sollux now!
CC: IS T)(AT TRU-E? 38D
CC: I am kind of jealous actually!
CC: All I )(ave is a dumb moirail!
CC: )(a)(a!
CC: t)(at's cool thoug)( do you want to talk about it?
CC: 38)


-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GC: SORRY K4RK4T
GC: 1 JUST GOT SOOOO J34LOUS
GC: 1 THOUGHT 1 W4S GONN4 G3T YOUR F1RST K1SS >:D
GC: H3H3H3


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CT: D --> Vantas if you could verify this for me I would have to admit that I'd be greatful
CT: D --> I like to keep track
CT: D --> Of all you gutterb100ds
CT: D --> That's all this is


-- twinArmageddons [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: 2orry are you stiill there ii diidnt mean iit
TA: ii ju2t got angry cau2e terezii 2tarted tea2ing me
TA: and ii kiind of fliiped my 2hiit
TA: agaiin
TA: kk?
TA: ii 2aiid im 2orry!! jegu2!!!

-- twinArmageddons [AT] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --


GC: 4WW 4R3 YOU M4D 4T M3 NOW? >:[
GC: 1TS OK4Y 1 DONT TH1NK SOLLUX 1S BUSY R1GHT NOW 1M SUR3 H3 C4N COM3 OV3R TO COMFORT YOU >;]
GC: OK4Y HOW 4BOUT TH1S
GC: 1F 1TS TRU3
GC: DONT S4Y 4NYTH1NG!


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CT: D --> I can't believe you would deny my request like this
CT: D --> Dealing with your kind is so laborious
CT: D --> Vantas tell me now
CT: D --> I am very angry
CT: D --> That is all I am feeling
CT: D --> It is getting very hot in here
CT: D --> Perhaps we can make a deal
CT: D --> An e%change of some sort
CT: D--> Vantas

-- centaursTesticle [CT]'s computer shorted out --


GC: H3H3H3H3H3
GC: 4WW DONT B3 SUCH 4 POOR SPORT >:P


AC: :33 < ok karkat
AC: :33 < how about you just tell me
AC: :33 < between tavros and terezi
AC: :33 < who do you like better
AC: :33 < i'm just curious :33
AC: :33 < that's all!


-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CT: D --> Vantas my computer shorted out for a second
CT: D --> It got wet
CT: D --> Somehow
CT: D --> Did you answer my question while I was away
CT: D --> Repeat it if you did


-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TC: aWwW sHiT bRo
TC: mY mOtHeRfUcKiN cOnGrAtUlAtIoNs :o)
TC: tHaT iS tHe ShIt rIgHt hErE
TC: LiFe iS sO mOtHeRfUcKiN bEaUtIfUl
TC: i WrOtE a RaP fOr YoU
TC: iTs LiKe My MoThErFuCkIn GiFt FoR yOu!
TC: fUcKiN pOeTrY aLl Up In ThIs BiTcH

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG]s computer has been smashed to tiny pieces --

TC: hAhAhA
TC: oH sHit BrO
TC: ReAlLy?

XD Ahhh, this was hilarious! Trolls sure are a gossipy bunch, aren't they?

[Tenebrais]

A silly pesterlog fic sequel to Two Dots. Writing in this style with so many characters is super fun, so I make no claims about this having a greater purpose or meaning.

Let me know if the formatting is hard to read. I just am not up to coloring it all.

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So much awesome

That was so awesome and hilarious. I love the way all the other trolls get involved, and their reactions are pretty believable. You missed out CA, though! I'm sure he'd have something to say. Probably. hed be all flippin out about howw lovve is wweird and hard and wwould probably want advvice