MSPA fan-fiction

[Sushi Database]

(Part One)
(Part Two)

Shenanigans, part three

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TT: Where are you?
TG: uhh
TG: im not really sure how to answer that
TG: the other guys call it the forge of hephaestus
TG: sort of like a hollowed out dead volcano cone
TG: but they all live here
TT: The other guys?
TG: yeah
TG: its kind of complicated
TT: Are you talking about those gearmen guys again? It would be a little bit more reassuring if you could tell me exactly what you're dealing with.
TG: daves
TG: whole lot of daves

"I'm gonna be totally honest," Dave said. "First impression here."

"Go for it."

He shrugged. "I really think this many mes should have been able to build a less shitty village."

Most of the huts were made out of the tough longgrass that was the only thing the grew in lohac. Torches lined the paths, made out of his shitty swords stuck in the groung with oily rags wrapped around the hilts. Davesprite was leading Dave around, and so far the village hadn't really been much to look at.
"Come on, we had nothing to build with. We have air conditioning, power, and the internet. It's not too bad."

"I guess it's not much worse than that hole of an apartment we lived in."


"Well, you're stuck here now so you might as well get used to it. Hephaestus doesn't let anyone out, and he found you and brought you here personally." Davesprite shook his head. "Did your timetable explode?"

"What?" Dave checked his captchalogue cards. "No, it's fine. What?"

"Okay, then this is your session. You're Dave Prime. And now you're trapped with the rest of us, great. Are John and Jade alive in this session?"

"Uhh. John isnt. Jade... probably isnt. What session are you guys from? I dont remember any of you. Is all this in my future?"

"Nah, man. Alternate futures. At some point in your adventures, your timetables explode. Happened to all of us. And when they do they create a Rift that dumps us here, in this valley, in this session. None of us remember being any of us, so we figure we're all from parallel realities. Some of us are from sessions where the trolls tricked John into fighting the Denizen, and some are from sessions where a Dave came from the future and stopped him, then self-prototyped. But it all turns out the same, for all of us. The timetables explode and we end up... here."

Dave was silent for a few minutes. "Man." As the two of them walked, he noticed all the other Daves watching them. Some wearing his red record shirt, other dressed in black suits and white suits and even a few in green suits. But they all had their eyes on the new guy. kind of creepy, really, dave thought. what's the big deal, just another inmate in the asylum, right?

"I know."

"This sucks. How many of us are here?"

"Thirty-seven Daves. Five Davesprites. I'm kind of the leader because I got the farthest. The human Dave in my session was killed by Jack Noir, and I took him out by stabbing through the timetables and into him. It was fucking awesome. Probably would have won my session, if I hadnt ended up here."

"Jack Noir?"

"Total asshole. He doesnt really amount to much in these "bad end" sessions. But in sessions where John and Jade live he completes some kind of double mobius reacharound xanatos gambit and takes out the Black Queen and King. Becomes this super-powered monster. Dont worry about it, we own at this game."

Davesprite pointed at the hut they'd come to. "You can chill in here. If you still have your timetables you might be able to find a way to escape, but I dunno how. There's nowhere to run to, really. No matter what point in time you go to, you cant get through the force field thing . Long as Hephaestus is alive. Maybe even after he's dead, we don't know."

"Seriously, we cant kill this guy, with all the Daves we have here?"

"He's sort of a god, or something. We think he's the native god of LOHAC, from the time before the session began. When the planet existed without Sburb's influence. But he's a tough motherfucker, seriously, and you're still tired. We'll talk it over at dinner, let you meet the rest of the guys. Look, just... take it easy for a little bit, dude. Since this is your session and it's kind of important we'll try to help you figure out how to get out of here, but this... changes a lot of stuff. Give me some time to get the rest of the guys under control. ...a few of them really, really want your timetables." Davesprite opened the door and gestured inside. "Just... do me a favor and lie low for a little while, maybe an hour. Talk to Rose or something."

Dave didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything. The hut didnt really have any kind of bed or anything, just a chair and a desk. maybe this is where the davesprite lives. would a sprite need a bed? can sprites sleep? He sat down in the dark hut, turning on his iShades. This all felt just slightly ridiculous to him.

TT: Where are you?
TG: uhh
TG: im not really sure how to answer that
TG: the other guys call it the forge of hephaestus
TG: sort of like a hollowed out dead volcano cone
TG: but they all live here
TT: The other guys?
TG: yeah
TG: its kind of complicated
TT: Are you talking about those gearmen guys again? It would be a little bit more reassuring if you could tell me exactly what you're dealing with.
TG: daves
TG: whole lot of daves
TT: From your future?
TG: not exactly no
TG: i dunno i don't think i'm being given the full story here
TG: certainly threw enough exposition my way but something feels off
TG: does the name hephaestus mean anything to you
TT: You mean other than a web browser?
TG: yeah other than that
TT: And other than being the greek god of volcanoes?
TG: no not other than that
TG: that's the kind of stuff i need
TG: is he killable?
TT: You want to know if a figure from greek mythology is killable?
TG: yeah
TT: What can I consider "canon" for the purpose of determining such a thing? Should I consult the Disney Hercules movie on the matter? Clash of the Titans?
TG: let's start with wikipedia and go from there
TT: Well, wikipedia doesnt expand on methods to supercede his immortal status.
TT: It says he was the son of Zeus and Hera, but was thrown from heaven for being a disgrace, because he was crippled.
TT: Although apparently alternate stories say Zeus thew him out for helping his mother when she had defied him, and he was subsequently crippled in the fall itself. It also says he was widely considered ugly, but was actually married to Aphrodite, who cheated on him with Ares constantly.
TG: okay so he's a cripple, a loser, and a mama's boy
TG: i'm starting to think these alternate mes are just pussies
TT: Are you preparing to engage Hephaestus in battle? Is that what we're talking about?
TT: More importantly, is Hephaestus an actual being that physically exists?
TG: havent seen him yet but all the other daves seem scared as shit of him
TG: he seems to be sort of the warden of this dave asylum
TG: they say he brought me here
TT: Hmm.
TT: Well, if it helps, Hephaestus was also the blacksmith of the gods.
TT: If your location truly is his Forge, you may be able to find some gamebreakingly powerful weapons.
TG: great a payoff to make the sidequest worth it
TT: Dave, be honest.
TT: Are you safe? Should I try to move to your position?
TG: i dont know
TG: i think i can handle hephaestus he kind of reminds me of someone who i've already school fed up the bone bulge
TG: but i'm trying to think about how i'd react if i were just one dave out of dozens
TG: utterly defeated and having lost all my friends
TG: and then one more dave shows up but he's supposed to be the special dave
TG: the real dave
TG: the dave that actually matters, who isn't just a spare
TG: i'd like to think i'm the kind of person that would sacrifice everything to help that one dave get back to his friends
TG: but i don't think i am that kind of person
TG: and i don't think i can trust these guys

There was a knocking at the door. "Hey man, things are a little bit more chill now. We're having dinner, if you want to join us."

Dave looked away, the pesterchum client on his shades minimizing automatically. His hand drifted towards the hilt of Caledscratch. Was he just being paranoid? He didn't want to pick a fight with these guys if he didnt have to. But... if he was being paranoid, then they were probably being paranoid as well.

TG: rose
TG: i'm going to go with them
TG: if anything happens, the code for the timetables is fr4O13ds
TG: i dont know if theres anything you can do with them but just in case you should make a few
TT: You cross the bridge into this valley again four hours ago, Dave. You aren't going to die, or get trapped.
TG: are you seriously still not going to clue me in on what's going on
TG: even with the situation being what it is
TT: No, but if you like I can pass a message on to your past self.
TG: ha
TG: tell me to stop trying to cheat
TG: be back after dinner

turntechGodhead has ceased pestering tentacleTherapist

On to Part Four...

[Tenebrais]

We are getting a seriously high density of high-quality fic in here.
I'm liking Shenanigans, Sushi.

I'll get to work on the next chapter of Windows, though writing what I have in mind for Equius is difficult for some reason.

[Graven_Image]

Shenanigans is the best fic I've seen in my admittedly short stay on these forums. Though that may stem from my own indifference to shipfics.

[Summergale]

Cendrillon
(based on this video)

Chapter One: The Exchange

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Aradia sighed as she stared up at the moonlit castle. If she concentrated, she thought she could almost hear the music coming out of the windows. Prince Equius was holding another of his fancy promenades, and she'd watched all the trolls going inside. Most of the guests, as far as she could see, were purple or blue-blooded, but she had seen trolls dressed in shades of green and yellow as well. She had been taken by a sudden flight of fancy, and had attempted to duck in behind the last guests, but she had been roughly shoved out - she was a red-blood, and it had been made quite clear that her kind were not allowed in.

So here she was, looking at the castle with a wistful expression, taking the well-trodden path up to her house. It once had a farm attached to it, but it had been burned down in an unfortunate accident, and she hadn't been able to afford the repairs - it was hard enough paying for food as it was. She'd managed to get a job in the village as a bartender, but the pay was poor and the drunkards had a habit of making crude passes at her. But where else was a gutterblood to get a job?

She was pondering this question when a harsh chuckle met her ears, and a dark figure stepped onto the path. A cloak hid most of their frame, but she could see the outline of their horns against the moonlit sky. A hook and a pincer.
"...Lady Vriska?" Aradia asked uncertainly. Lady Vriska Serket was well known for her powers, and her long-standing rivalry with Prince Equius. "What are you doing outside your castle?"
Another cold laugh and the bespectacled woman waved a hand. "Am I not allowed to step outside of my own home now?" Aradia had to admit, she had a point. "I couldn't help but eavesdrop on those wonderful thoughts of yours... You want to go to the Prince's ball, mm?"

Immediately, Aradia felt worried. "What are you planning?" she retorted, holding up a finger. "You're always planning something."
Lady Vriska merely smiled and adjusted her glasses. One side was always blacked out, and Aradia had heard rumours it was because she had lost an eye. "You'd be correct in assuming that, Aradia. You know of my... feud with the Prince, yes?" She hardly even waited for a reply before continuing, "I want you to do me a little favour."

"And if I don't want to do it?" Aradia asked carefully? One should always have a clear head on their shoulders when dealing with the bluebloods, particularly when it was her you were dealing with.
"If you don't? Well..." Vriska began, a cruel gleam in her one eye. "I have my ways of knowing if you decide not to do it. And the consequences? Will not be pleasant." she purred, gripping Aradia's chin with one metallic hand. Oh yes, another thing abot Vriska that everyone knew - the metal arm she had. The incident that made her lose her eye also had her lose her arm, and it was rumoured that the Prince had taken pity on her and built a new one. “You haven’t even heard what it is yet...”

“Go on and tell me.” The younger girl managed through gritted teeth.

“I want you to kill Prince Equius for me.”

Immediately, Aradia squirmed free and backed away. “No.”
Vriska sighed. “I thought you might say that...”
There was a quiet sound and a gleam of metal before Aradia realised Vriska had her fist raised. She panicked. “I’ll do it!”

Vriska smiled triumphantly. "Good. Here's the plan..."

Notes:
This is, of course, an alternate universe. High-bloods are nobility, low-bloods get the bad jobs and are basically peasants. I imagine there are exceptions, though.

[Sushi Database]

(Part One)
(Part Two)
(Part Three)

Shenanigans, part four

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Rose Lalonde was worried about Dave.

This was a fairly constant state for her, at least since Dave had found the timetables. It wasnt that she wasn't confident in Strider's abilities. She was. She could think of no one else on Earth who would have been more capable as a Sburb player. A little inattentive as a server, maybe. A little too preoccupied with his own detached, quasi-ironic ideas about what constituted a hero, definitely. But competent beyond words, and as Jade would have said, so, so cool.

But the density of Daves on LOHAC meant that Rose was getting new messages from Dave every other five minutes, and most of them related to whatever new life-threatening situation he'd gotten himself into. For the most part she did not intervene other than whatever reactions came naturally to her. She was being informed of all of these life-threatening situations out of the order in which they happened, so for the most part she knew Dave would get through it fine, because she'd already spoken to a later Dave. What she worried about was not his safety. She was worried that she, as an outsider to all these time-hopping shenanigans, might accidentally contaminate the natural sequence of events and kill Strider. She didn't know if such a thing was possible. But she worried about it.

She worried about it a lot.

This new situation, with the Forge of Hephaestus... she worried more about this than anything up til now. Because after this, she only had record of him making one more reverse- the one that would lead him back to crossing that bridge. After that, she had no idea what would lie in Dave's future. Perhaps there was more, in her future. Perhaps he'd go on to finish their mission and save John and Jade. Perhaps he'd break the game so hard that he retroactively saved the world. Who knew what the Knight of Time could accomplish?

But perhaps he was going to die after he reentered that village. And if he was, there was nothing she could do about it.

"Unless I was already destined to do something about it," Rose murmured to herself. "In which case there is nothing that can stop me from doing something about it."

Jaspersprite reached out a furry tentacle to pat her had reassuringly. Oh, Jaspers. He was a good cat, albeit still a rather wet one from their adventure under the sea. He'd learned his lesson about chasing fish, and was unlikely to run off again. "Don't think you're off the hook, Jaspers. Remember you're supposed to be a housecat."

The cat sighed childishly. "I know Rose i just got hungry im sorry for not saying anything before running off!!"

"I know you are." Rose started stroking him on the head back, and he purred in response. "I can alchemize more food if you need it. I don't think you really do. You're a sprite now, Jaspers. Sprites don't need to eat."

"Look i dunno what sprites need but im a cat and cats eat when it is suppertime okay???"

"Nanna Egbert doesn't eat, anyway..." Rose mused to herself. The Nannasprite had taken John's death rather... oddly. At first she just floated around the house, baking cookies and eviscerating any imp or ogre that came within sight. But eventually, well into Dave's campaign on LOHAC, she had contacted Rose asking where John was. She'd seemed... distraught, but also distracted, as if she was intentionally trying to keep herself from understanding the truth. But Nannasprite had not been prototyped from a person, not really. She'd been prototyped from an urn of her own ashes, a remembrance of who she was before. That had changed her, Rose was sure of it.

It's different for Jaspers. And then, what she was really worried about: It will be different for Dave.

Neither Rose or Dave really knew what prototyping would do to a person. They knew it filled their head with information on Sburb. They knew it made them a bit standoffish about revealing said information. Sprites could float around and even fly, sprites had weird combat abilities, and if they couldnt before, sprites had the ability to speak. But those were just the things they could observe. What worried her were the things they couldn't observe. Did a sprite have free will? Would a sprite outlive a completed Sburb session, whether failed or successful? They didn't know. They couldn't know.

Oh. A chum was pestering her. Rose leaned over her Hubtop.

TG: hey rose
TG: kinda in the shit
TG: kind of a dire situation
TT: A dire situation?
TG: yeah im hanging from my knees over
TG: like
TG: a lot of lava
TG: was chased by this douche of a giganticlops but i think he's still waiting for me up top
TG: could use some rope or something
TT: You know I can only assist in a counselatory regard.
TT: Also, I dont have rope.
TG: well thanks lalonde
TG: way to leave me hanging
TT: Dont be such a baby.
TG: is counselatory even a word
TT: It's a portmanteau, I'm trying it out.
TG: im glad to see we're all so focused on the tasks at hand
TT: Just pull yourself up already. I already know you're going to do it.
TG: is this what we've come to
TG: me doing all the work and you taking the place of those shitty trolls
TG: are you going to try to rap at me
TT: Are you implying that I am incapable of starting some sick fires, were such an outcome my goal?
TT: Bro?
TG: could you at least tell me how i get out of this
TG: out of professional fucking courtesy
TT: I do have a message for you from yourself in the future, actually.
TG: oh yeah really
TT: Yes. He wants me to tell you to stop trying to cheat.
TG: is that so
TG: well tell him that i think he's an asshole
TT: I'll remind him that he thought he was an asshole.
TG: uggh
TG: and there he goes
TG: the cool guy...... is UNDER the giant gear platform
TT: And now. The giganticlops are getting invovled. Jesus chris
TG: i cant BELIEVE what we made take place
TG: okay i think this guy is leaving
TG: talk to you later, lalonde
TT: Goodbye, Dave. Good luck.
turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist

And there was Dave. Always landed on his feet. Rose sighed and closed her hubtop. Except that maybe he wouldn't, this time. And there was nothing she could do to change it.

Hmm. Almost nothing. That code, fr4O13ds... She would see where this course of events took her. If she could save Dave, she would save him. And if she couldn't...

Then she would topple over destiny itself. Even her reason had its limits.

On to Part Five...

[Tenebrais]

Windows: Part 3

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-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
AA: i see y0ure fullfilling y0ure purp0se
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
AA: this is the m0st imp0rtant thing y0u will d0 here
AA: y0u are the reas0n we are all here
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
AA: y0u will understand s00n
CG: JEGUS YOU WERE SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE.
CG: NONE OF THIS STUPID CAGEY BULLSHIT.
AA: but we never sp0ke when i was alive
AA: 0h
AA: y0u have been watching the screens
CG: DUH.
CG: I JUST SAW YOURS.
CG: AMAZINGLY YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU USED TO BE ACTUALLY TOLERABLE.
CG: I GUESS I CAN SEE WHAT SOLLUX SAW IN YOU.
AA: wait
AA: what?
AA: ribbit
CG: OH YEAH, YOU TWO NEVER DID MAKE A THING OF IT DID YOU?
CG: HE USED TO NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT YOU.
CG: HE LOVED THE HELL OUT OF YOU.
AA: what
AA: ribbit
AA: i

Aradia stopped responding completely. Karkat wouldn’t have been surprised for her to pause as the revelation hit her, but after a time he decided she must have broken down. And while it was tempting to leave her that way, the imps would get to her and it’d be more trouble than it was worth.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
CG: HEY MUSCLEHEAD.
CG: YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
CT: D --> Which one?
CT: D --> My morail or my matesprit?
CG: MATESPRIT? ARADIA?
CG: DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH.
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ROMANCE WORKS.
CT: D --> What other 100ve could tran%end even the boundaries of b100d?
CG: YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
CG: THIS IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT.
CG: LOOK, ARADIA JUST BROKE DOWN OR SOMETHING WHILE TALKING TO ME AND YOU SHOULD PROB ABLY GO CHECK ON HER.
CG: WOULDN’T WANT THAT PRETTY LITTLE BODY YOU BUILT HER TO GET SMASHED UP, WOULD WE.
CT: D --> Is that a threat?
CG: NO, THAT IS A STATEMENT.
CT: D --> Good.
CT: D --> A threat from one such as you w001d be ine%cusable.
CT: D --> I shall find a return node but I fully e%pect to find her in full working order.
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --

Equius always got on Karkat’s nerves. He just assumed he was a better person for his blood. He didn’t even know what colour Karkat’s blood was! Although Karkat had never pretended his blood was high on the haemospectrum.
Not that he really cared about blood colour. Not really. Never.
Well, this time Karkaat would have the upper hand. He had these screens here. Let’s see something from horse-boy’s childhood.

What was his place in the order again? Oh yeah.
====== > SWITCH 7


Everyone had always been a little bit scared of Equius. He was strong. Far too strong for a four-sweep-old. It was freakish. And, while pretty much every troll is a freak in some way, it’s fear that brings out the worst in children.
He endured their insults. He suffered their slings and arrows. If he were to fight back, his retribution would be hugely disproportionate, and his custodian had taught him better than that. But that is not to say it didn’t upset him.
Sometimes, it became too much. He had to hit something, to hurt something. But he couldn’t attack them. He wouldn’t allow himself. First, he would chase them, and they would run, their laughter ringing in his ears. Then, when he was quite sure they’d lost him, he would go out to the wastelands beyond the village to the secluded area he’d claimed as his own. There, he would break rocks with his fists until he’d calmed down. Aurthour would usually find him out there, and bring him a glass of milk and a towel. He was always grateful.
This was one of those days. He chased, he fled, he found his space. He gathered the largest rocks he could find and shattered them. This was becoming less and less satisfying. Nothing was really lost - they were just rocks. And they didn’t fight back, so there was no challenge. He would have to find something else.
He thought he saw a glint of orange out the corner of his eye, but when he looked, there was nothing.

Later, they came to his house. This was not unusual. They would stand in his lawnring, throwing insults and other things, until he chased them away. Though they did not usually come so soon after already mocking him.
The interminable circus repeated itself once again. He gave chase, though the direction they ran unsettled him. He lost them, though he felt they disappeared from him too deliberately. He went out to his space in the canyon.
They had found it. This space, that was his retreat from the world, That was the one place he felt safe from their taunts. They had found it, and marred it, desecrating it with taunts in blue paint. Musclehead. Freak. Horse-lover. Written in the colour of blood.

Equius snapped. He didn’t care any more what the consequences were - he was out for blood. They had followed him, mocking him from perceived safety. Once again, he gave chase, and once again, they ran, but this time he was not holding back. He caught up with them easily, and pounced on one, grabbing his shoulder. There was a satisfying snap as the skeleton, brittle under his fingers, shattered. The troll screamed and fell to the ground. Equius grabbed him by the collar, and pulled him up, snapping the spine. For once, not just angry fear, but terror was in their eyes. Equius reached for the troll’s head, and crushed his skull with a hand.

There was no longer any laughter. No sign of their cruel mirth remained as they ran for their lives back to the safety of their homes and lusus. But He didn’t care any more. Killing that one had been the most satisfying moment of his life. His hand was coated in yellow blood, and some remnants of brain. Curious. He had blue blood. Why were other people different?
Once his mind was clear, he picked up the corpse. His neighbour would appreciate the gift; she always lamented what a nightmare her lusus was to look after. Vriska was probably the closest thing he had to a friend. Not that that meant much. She just wasn’t one of the ones out there taunting him.

Vriska gratefully accepted the macabre gift, and invited him into her hive. Equius was careful not to break anything. Everything was so fragile to him.
He asked about the yellow blood. She said different trolls had different blood colours. That there was a whole spectrum, from red through to, well, a very slightly purple red. That some trolls considered those on the bluer end of the spectrum to be superior to those on the redder.
“That must be it,” Equius said. “That’s why they mock me. They are inferior. They don’t know better, they just have bad blood.”
“Uh... sure,” Vriska said.
“You’ve given me a lot to think about. Thank you.”


Karkat roused himself from a stupor. This was boring. Except the bit where he killed someone, that was pretty cool. It was interesting to see the stuck-up ass being so emotional. He filed that away under “useful to know” and possibly lord over him later if he ever tried to bring up the matter of blood colour again. Which he knew would happen. It came up every time they spoke.
He’d almost forgotten to press the button. A slimy silhouette of the muscular young troll looking pensive turned into the usual blob of sludge.

[Valter]

A nice little examination of time travel mechanics there.

I have decided to give my own interpretation.

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TT: Dave, I have been wondering.
TG: shoot
TT: How does time-travel function?
TG: uh
TG: i scratch out a tune on my timetables
TG: boom there i am in the past
TT: Apparently, I did not satisfactorily explain myself.
TT: My specific curiosity was directed toward possible adverse consequences of time-travel.
TG: such as what
TT: Paradoxes, Dave.
TT: What's stopping you from going back in time, and then preventing yourself from going back in time? What's stopping you from going back in time and killing yourself so that you can't go back in time?
TG: that already happened remember
TG: you mouthed off at orange me and everything
TT: Well, that one incident could have been pertaining to the split-timeline and not time-travel mechanics over a single timeline.
TT: I suppose this means you could make an army consisting entirely of yourself, then.
TG: not quite
TT: So it is impossible?
TG: no i mean
TG: i already did
TT: Oh.
TG: my bro dave is watching out for imps while i type this
TG: dave and dave are busy having a rap battle a few yards yonder
TG: dave was nice enough to agree to typing up a transcript for them
TG: hey thanks dave youre a pretty cool guy
TG: no prob dave hey you too man
TT: This conversation is proving to be somewhat disappointing.
TG: okay jeez
TG: i guess you wont be happy until youve got some crazy theory or whatever
TG: look i didnt tell you before but...
TG: whenever i go back in time an exact copy of me also goes the same distance forward in time
TG: only the future clone lands at the end of the universe okay
TG: so i dont actually get to use the future clones
TG: they just hang out on the edge slowly aggregating or something
TG: until theres a giant gog damned planet made up entirely of me
TG: be sure to give me a ring before we fight jack
TG: ill summon the dave meteor
TG: give that dersite a show hell never forget

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: oh come on
TG: that was solid and you know it

[Graven_Image]

Planet Dave...

It has a nice ring to it.

[Sushi Database]

I have decided to give my own interpretation.

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TT: Dave, I have been wondering.
TG: shoot
TT: How does time-travel function?
TG: uh
TG: i scratch out a tune on my timetables
TG: boom there i am in the past
TT: Apparently, I did not satisfactorily explain myself.
TT: My specific curiosity was directed toward possible adverse consequences of time-travel.
TG: such as what
TT: Paradoxes, Dave.
TT: What's stopping you from going back in time, and then preventing yourself from going back in time? What's stopping you from going back in time and killing yourself so that you can't go back in time?
TG: that already happened remember
TG: you mouthed off at orange me and everything
TT: Well, that one incident could have been pertaining to the split-timeline and not time-travel mechanics over a single timeline.
TT: I suppose this means you could make an army consisting entirely of yourself, then.
TG: not quite
TT: So it is impossible?
TG: no i mean
TG: i already did
TT: Oh.
TG: my bro dave is watching out for imps while i type this
TG: dave and dave are busy having a rap battle a few yards yonder
TG: dave was nice enough to agree to typing up a transcript for them
TG: hey thanks dave youre a pretty cool guy
TG: no prob dave hey you too man
TT: This conversation is proving to be somewhat disappointing.
TG: okay jeez
TG: i guess you wont be happy until youve got some crazy theory or whatever
TG: look i didnt tell you before but...
TG: whenever i go back in time an exact copy of me also goes the same distance forward in time
TG: only the future clone lands at the end of the universe okay
TG: so i dont actually get to use the future clones
TG: they just hang out on the edge slowly aggregating or something
TG: until theres a giant gog damned planet made up entirely of me
TG: be sure to give me a ring before we fight jack
TG: ill summon the dave meteor
TG: give that dersite a show hell never forget

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: oh come on
TG: that was solid and you know it

I cracked up reading this.
Future Past Davesprite & Past Future Dave: Temporal Replicataclysm!

[Solaris]

4X FIANFIC POST COMBO
I really like Shenanigans, and the idea that there are other powers in the planets besides denizens is cool. I wonder if Davesprite would tell our Dave about that village. Or if it even exists...

AU's are always awesome. Always. I really want to see more than just Castle and Pirates though...

Karkat is the worst Ectobiologist ever.

There is no problem that cannot be solved by a Dave Meteor
None

[Zuki]

Shenanigans is a fantastic fiction. It's really satisfying to see the unexplored nooks and crannies of Homestuck's setting used.

[OracleEngineer]

So many great fanfics I'm going to drown in them! I wish I could motivate myself to write something.

Solaris why does your avatar keep getting cooler. Stop these shenanigans at once.

Also I forgot Shenanigans was one of the fic names. Way to go me.

[Solaris]

Solaris why does your avatar keep getting cooler. Stop these shenanigans at once.

AR is only King of General Chat for one thread. Then I think I will go with this as my avatar.

[OracleEngineer]

AR is only King of General Chat for one thread. Then I think I will go with this as my avatar.

SHENANIGANS.

[reclusiveAmateur]

jegus fuck, sushi, Shenanigans is quickly becoming one of my favorite things ever. I just. i don't think i am that kind of person.. It breaks my heart ;_;

(and thanks everyone i was a bit worried the shipocalypse and the reaction thereto had drained me of motivation entirely. dave and rose are still first in my heart and always will be, i think... but that's all right.)

[CeeJay]

Quick question. I remember that someone around here once posted that they were working on a fic where John and Rose went to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Did that ever get finished/posted?

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Quick question. I remember that someone around here once posted that they were working on a fic where John and Rose went to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Did that ever get finished/posted?

I'm the guilty party there (maybe, I never started the idea but I've talked about writing or paneling out such an idea; mostly in romart). The idea is kinda shelved right now. Well, at least I know I was planning one of those; someone else could have gotten the same idea and said they were making one too. I'm a bit behind on stuff I want to write (and 3 pages behind in this thread again, gog damn). Like, I still need to finish 'take me out to the birthday' and I wanted to fill out at least one request in the livejournal request meme. I really do want to write out or at least panel-out the idea of John and Rose going to see the movie. I have the basic premise in my mind of basically Rose teasing John that he's the main character, etc...

[Sushi Database]

(Part One)
(Part Two)
(Part Three)
(Part Four)

Shenanigans, part five

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Dave didn't think much about his upbringing. He'd been raised by his brother and had never known his parents, and the relationship with Bro had always been... both intense and antisocial. They were very close, and he'd always felt something between rivalry and hero worship that he knew better than to speak of out loud. What could be said? They were brothers. Brothers did not eat dinner at the kitchen table together. Bro shopped and even cooked; he was as responsible as any real parent could have been... but they didnt eat at the table, and they definitely didn't eat together. They left food out for each other. They communicated indirectly. Little notes on the places they knew the other would look, because that was how well they knew each other. References to memes and inside jokes that they knew the other would understand, because that was how much they understood each other.

These Daves were not like brothers. Perhaps they should have been, but they weren't. At best, they were peers. At worst...

doppelgangers.

The food was made up of alchemized copies of the snacks that had been in Dave's apartment. One of the Daves had figured out how to reduce the entire alchemizing process to a single hand-held device, and they used that to replicate what food they wanted. Tonight, the meal was meatball hot pockets, orange kool-aid, and dollar store banana popsicles.

in retrospect, dave thought, bro did not have a very good grasp on what to feed a kid.

Davesprite broke the silence. "Well... we have two new Daves, tonight." The rest of the Daves didnt even look up. "One of them you've all... probably heard about... and the other just arrived a little bit before him... the usual way. Let's all try to be welcoming, and... help them adjust to their new home."

A few Daves made token waves of "hello" at the newcomers. The rest just looked sullen and pushed their hot pockets around their plates. The feeling of awkwardness was palpable. For a person who prided himself at being utterly comfortable with himself, Dave was kind of horrified to find how uncomfortable with himself he clearly was. Each one seemed like a parody of himself, and he was sure each of them felt the same way about him. A snowflake is a lot less beautiful and unique when you take a thousand of them and turn them into a snowcone.

As each Dave finished, they took their plate and walked out of the hall. No dialogue. No witty banter. Just tension. But as the room slowly emptied, the remaining Daves warmed up a little. They talked to each other about what they did today, what they would do tomorrow, where each of them was in their Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff "storylines". The less Daves there were, the less they hated each other. None of them wanted to talk to Dave Prime, but in some ways that was comforting. He wasn't one of them. He was still unique, even if only ironically.

As he finished his own dinner and picked up his plate, Davesprite got up as well and followed him out. "Hey. Thought you might want to talk about... how that went."

"We are not a social person, are we?"

"No, we're... really not. You see what kind of job I've had dealing with all of us." They set down their dishes in the communal sink, a direct clone of the one in their apartment, and walked outside. "I'm trying to keep us together, but we all hate the fact that the rest of us exist."

"I only counted four sprites."

Davesprite looked at Dave, a little surprised. "What?"

"Earlier you said there were five Davesprites. Counting you, I assumed. But there were only four at dinner."

"Well..." Davesprite avoided making eye contact. "The fifth Davesprite is kind of... different. We don't really have to eat unless we want to, and he's a little... hard to be around. So he doesn't usually come to these social gatherings.

"He was the leader, before I got here. Was trying to rally the Daves into fighting Hephaestus. He thought if they all attacked him at once, it would distract him long enough to weaken the barrier."

"Yeah? How did that work out?"

Now Davesprite looked Dave right in the eyes. "How do you think it worked out?"

There was a long pause, and then he spoke again, "when I got here it was disorganized. The human Daves were close to starving to death because no one wanted to pool ideas and talk about alchemizing food. What you saw at dinner tonight... that atmosphere is something we've had to work very hard to reach. And if it seemed uncomfortable, think about this: it used to be much, much worse.

"We've gotten by most of our lives on just being awesome, but... we're all awesome. We have nothing but time and our egos in this place. It's only a matter of time before everything goes bad, and your presence is not going to make it easier. You want my advice? Hide those timetables. Don't talk about them. If possible, forget you have them. You can't beat Hephaestus, and they will bring you nothing but grief."

"Does anyone ever talk to him?"

"Who? Hephaestus? No, not... really. People have tried, and he isn't violent unless you attack him, but... it doesn't accomplish anything. I don't even know how much of a mind he has. Most of the natives are just constructs of Sburb, programmed to exhibit certain personality traits and provide either passing assistance or minor obstacles."

"I cant give up without at least talking to him." Dave shook his head. "I'll try not to make too much trouble for you, but I have to try every available avenue to get back. John and Jade's lives depend on it, you know that."

"I do know that. You should do whatever you feel you can... we all go through our own stages of grief, here. Talk to Hephaestus, find your closure... so long as I have your assurance that once you come back to acceptance and build your own hut, there'll still be a village left for you to live in."

There was no sun in the Land of Heat and Clockwork, but light streamed in from small lenses in the gears that made up the sky, and those lenses were waning. "You can sleep in my hut for now. It'll have to be on the ground since I dont use a bed, but... it should be comfortable enough."

Dave nodded wordlessly and walked to the hut. Davesprite did not follow.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would get to the bottom of all this. But for now he would sleep. It had, after all, been a very long day.

On to Part Six...

so i guess it's obvious what i spent my day doing, huh

[Graven_Image]

Your obsession is why we love you.

[Bardic Feline]

Ahh, so much awesome fic! I don't even know where to start. @_@ Guess I'll focus on the ones that haven't gotten as much attention yet...


kmsumrall: Wow, this is getting intense. I can't wait for part 3! My only problem, I think, is that it got a little difficult to tell who was speaking during the argument sequence, since almost none of the sentences where being attributed to anyone...although I guess that may have been the point, to show how chaotic the discussion was getting? Either way, it was awesome seeing Tavros taking charge like that. And the thought of Detective Nepeta will never NOT be awesome. X3

Tenebrais: Oh, WOW...two awesome entries? *swoons* I almost overlooked the latest Shipheld chapter cause it was buried at the bottom of the last page.
And Windows is turning out to be fascinating. You managed to address some of my bigger gripes with Equius, while still making him sympathetic. I know the narrative said something about Equius's super strength coming from the fact that he is kind of a freak, but it never occured to me to wonder if that might make him something of an outcast as well. It certainly puts his insistence on proper protocol into a new light. It will be interesting to see your take on, say, Vriska or Terezi. Or even Karkat himself...

[Sir Screwloose]

I can't beleive nobody thought of a handheld alchemizer before.

[Solaris]

Well... what would you use to make it?

[Justyn]

I can't beleive nobody thought of a handheld alchemizer before.

What makes it even more surprising is that it's actually a very good idea.

[Sir Screwloose]

Well... what would you use to make it?

PDA or iPhone.

Yeah, somebody needs to get this idea to Andrew.

[Sushi Database]

Of course, trying to alchemize an alchemiter with an iPhone, while being an obvious way to create this result, probably wouldnt work as well as it sounds. I can see it making an iPhone-themed alchemiter, just as big as it was before.

The real way to make a handheld alchemiter is simple. Double-punch the iPhone with the Jumper Block Extension, creating an iPhone that can be customized by inserting cards into a built-in card slot. Then, insert a card for a fully-upgraded alchemiter (complete with totem lathe, designix, holopad, the works). The iPhone automatically customizes itself to fit all alchemizing needs, without changing size.

It's actually not all that complicated, when you think about it.