MSPA fan-fiction

[northernVehemence]

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WARNING! WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! WARNING!
The story you are about to read is BY NO MEANS and IN NO WAY a happy-fic. I was originally gonna go light-hearted and silly but, as my fiction writing has a way of doing, it took control of my hands and turned a complete 180. At its' core, it is about Tavros and Vriska, and could thus be considered a TavrosxVriska story; that said, it ain't a happy one.

At the same time, if you're expecting, say, Vriska to get maimed, I'll warn you now, that's not happenin' either. In fact, the only harm done to anything is the destruction of a perfectly innocent piece of railing.

With no further ado and a complete lack of shame, I present:

Flavors Interlude: Losing Control

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Where did Tavros get off to? Vriska frowned to herself as she stormed down the dormitory hall, having just finished pounding on the door to his room for the umpteenth time. Aradia had mentioned that Tavros was looking for her, but now she was searching for him, and he was nowhere to be found. She ran a quick mental checklist, ticking off on her robo-hand his favorite haunts. Room? No. Computer hall? She just came from there. Observatory? Equius was up there, Tavros wouldn't be caught dead or alive near him on a day like this. She fumed, yanking open the door to Kanaya's atrium, where she often could be found tending to the various flora she had rescued from their dying planet. Whether a result of some strange game mechanic or just the very nature of the plants, the entire atrium, from floor to ceiling, was rife with greenery. She remembered that sometimes Tavros liked to wander about in here. He said all the colors made him feel better when he was feeling sad.

Vriska huffed as she cocked her head, listening for any sign of the obnoxious clanking buffoon. There was no sign, but then, with the heavy layer of turf that covered much of the atrium, if he was anywhere within the twenty-floored garden, she'd have a hard time hearing him. Still, with those clanky metal legs, even walking on sod would make a significant sound, and leave noticable tracks-- and she could even see a few where metal walkway became asteroid-rock and then turf. Grinning in a manner that would better suit Nepeta, she began to follow the footprints. Not long now, my little boy-skylark... I'll find you soon enough... somewhere, at some point, it stopped being Tavros-wants-to-talk-to-you and transformed into Vriska-is-hunting-Tavros, but she didn't really care. Either way worked for her. After all, she had him cornered.

---

"ARRRGH! I could've sworn I had him cornered!" Vriska's rage echoed throughout the atrium. She'd followed the distinct footprints up nineteen floors, only to find at the 20th floor that the footprints indicated he had leapt down from the top floor. Certainly something he would be capable of now that he had nigh-indestructible metal legs, but she doubted he'd be that ballsy to do such a thing; throwing yourself off cliffs didn't seem much like something he'd do. Frowning, she stood at the overhang where he would've leapt, and gripped the railing angrily.

"What the hell? Where did he go?" She growled to nobody in particular, glaring at the lively green foliage around her as if it would offer up an answer.

"This isn't funny, Tavros! Wherever the hell you went, show yourself already! I'm sick of this little game!" She felt like she was going to pop a vein. "Fine! I see how it is! You're just fucking with me! 'Send Vriska on a wild goose chase, just to piss her off! Tee hee, I'm such a silly little Boy Skylark!' I don't care what the hell you wanted me to see! So, so, SO FUCK YOU!" She slammed her metal fist into the railing, and it crumbled under the impact; now standing before a wide open chasm, she fumed, but her rage dissipated almost immediately as Tavros stumped into view from beneath one of the plants on the ground floor. Looking up at her with a blank expression, he sighed and shook his head.

"Kanaya isn't going to be happy that you broke that, Vriska." He seemed awfully calm for such a sniveling little weakling. The fact that he wasn't cowering in the face of her rage just pissed her off even more. Hell, it would piss her off less if he was giving her that goofy smile of his.

"W-what do I care? It's, it's, it's a grubdamned railing with some grubdamned plants on it! What the fuck are you doing down there anyway? I followed you all the way up here! Now you're down there!" Vriska paced the length of the short gap in the railing, ranting as she did so. Turning on her heel, she pointed her metal hand accusingly down at him. "What the hell was so important that you'd lead me all the way up here for!?"

"So you could know our pain."

The sound of Aradia's voice behind her was entirely unexpected. So too was the feeling of an ethereal hand against her back. One soft push was all it took, and the ground far below rushed to meet her. Even then, she didn't scream. The only thing she could do was wonder.

Where did I fail? How could I let myself be so easily thrown off by such a simple trick?

What will become of me, when I die?

Whumph.

The ground felt decidedly... not like ground. She'd fallen on the ground a few times before, and ground certainly didn't feel like a pair of strong arms and a broad, warm chest. Vriska opened her eye, slowly, and hazily focused it on the Taurus symbol so plainly displayed on the shirt before her. After a moment's dumb staring, realization dawned, and she trailed her gaze up, to Tavros' face. A flat, unfeeling stare greeted her.

Not a smile. Not a frown.

Just
a
dead
stare.

She shivered despite his surprisingly noticable warmth. Say something. She couldn't bring words to her lips. Move. Her body felt like it was vibrating; the adrenaline of what she assumed would be her death had her paralyzed. DO SOMETHING! Just please don't stare at me like that! Her thoughts were unheeded, and her mind raced. Why? Why was he doing this?

Rising from the half-crouch he had caught her in, Tavros finally spoke, walking forward with slow, measured steps.

"You were certain your life was going to end. As the ground was coming up to meet you, you felt like a hundred possible questions you would never get to have answered ran through your mind. Like every possibility of everything you might ever get to do was being taken from you." His eyes were distant, focused no longer on her, but on something before him; she couldn't bring herself to tear her eyes from his face.

"You felt as if the very choice of whether to live or to die was gone."

She felt him move again, felt her whole world shift, but for some reason couldn't react, despite every fiber of her being screaming for her to move, twitch, scream, do something. It felt as if her body was betraying her. Like someone...

"...like someone else was in control."

Her eyes widened as the realization hit like an atom bomb. The cold metal underneath her hand, the feel of a rubberized surface underneath her feet... she finally looked down, and saw the battered remains of Tavros' four-wheel device, now a two-wheeled tangle of disrepair. She looked up again, only to see his back, turned away from her; after a moment, he half-turned, affixing her with a sad look.

"I don't wanna lose any more friends than I have to." Her vision was beginning to get blurry; she didn't need to touch her cheek to know the tears were running thick down her face. Tavros turned away again as she closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"Even the ones that don't know it."

Even at the sound of his footsteps faded, the soft 'click' of the door shutting, she could only draw her knees up to her chest and cry.

...damn, I went back and re-read it and it's making -me- sad. Is that a bad sign?

Anyway... yeah.

Tavros being out of character is, like, 90% of the point of this, I suppose, but if that was a given, pretend I never mentioned it. If it bothers you to see him being not-Tavros-like, throw in about a half-dozen pauses in every other sentence, or something.

The idea of the Sprites disappearing, but Aradia's soul remaining (and her being able to enter/leave the Aradiabot) makes complete sense to me, I dunno why.

umm I did an illustration for your fic! I'm sorry! It was so good and this is just sort of how I pictured them...

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I guess I also did a picture for my fic, too...

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[kmsumrall]

Man nv, a good writer and a good artist? Do you sing and dance too?

[paperandpencil]

She'll be the talk of the voice acting thread next, wait and see! ;D nV's creative talent and energy will take ooooover the fora!

[kmsumrall]

She'll be the talk of the voice acting thread next, wait and see! ;D nV's creative talent and energy will take ooooover the fora!

It'll be nv and red pen, our creative masters. Personally I look forward to the new regime.

[Bardic Feline]

I...I got inspired. This is yet another Vriska/Tavros scenario...that PROBABLY be construed as romantic. (Or, you could just interpret it as Vriska trying her hardest to make Tavros as uncomfortable as possible. And succeeding.) No, I have not abandoned the previous one, I just wanted to get this one out of my head as quickly as possible. (I can't believe I wrote down something as soon as I thought of it...that is actually pretty out of character for me.)

As with the previous one, this is a first draft, and has not had any major corrections, so...sorry.

Anyway, here it is!

Trapped in the Spider’s Web (Or: Oh Gog, What)

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Maybe it was the shock of the abrupt shift in environments, or the sudden crash that followed, but it took Tavros several minutes of spastic arm flailing to fully register a few important facts. For one, he was upside down. For two, his awesome rocket chair was tangled in a web. For three…he was in HER house. Oh crap. This was far worse than any monster could ever hope to be. He had to get out of there, and fast.
The final fact alone was enough to make him stop struggling. In fact, he stopped breathing for a bit. He hung there, staring at the frightening girl, clad in a white dress and fairy wings (this…didn’t actually surprise him that much, really…he was positive that this was her idea of a cruel joke.), curled up on a mound of broken 8-balls. If he hadn’t been so terrified of her, he might have found the sight to be charming. But all he could think of was finding a way to escape without alerting her to his presence. She hadn’t moved yet…she must have been sleeping pretty hard…so maybe…just maybe…

Moving as quietly as he could, Tavros struggled until he finally managed to get himself loose from the restraining straps that held him in his chair. He fell on the ground with a dull thud, head first. Oh, great, now his horns were stuck in the floor….
Several minutes of pulling and sweating, all the while biting his lips to keep himself from grunting, he somehow managed to pull his head free. He looked up fearfully at Vriska. Amazingly, she appeared to have slept through his performance undisturbed. He permitted himself a quiet sigh of relief, and reached up to catchpolouge his rocket chair. It was far too noisy to start up inside the house, and he didn’t want to risk her waking up while he was still trying to climb into the thing. He would just have to try to get outside without using it. Several strands of the spider web came with the chair; he would simply have to clean them off later.

He rolled over on his stomach, and began to crawl, arm over arm, towards the nearest exit. It was hard work, but thanks to arm strength built up due to time spent pushing himself around in his four wheeled device, it was not impossible. Left arm out, reach, and pull…now a breath…and the other arm, stretched in front of him, now reach, and pull…slowly, and steadily, he pulled himself nearer and nearer the door. I’m doing it, he thought, his heart pounding in his chest. I’m going to make it. Just a few more feet…just a few more inches…his arms were starting to hurt, but he didn’t care. Freedom was so close. He reached out and put his hand on the door.

A dainty, heeled shoe pressed down on the small of his back. “Going somewhere, Pupa?”

He almost passed out right then and there from sheer terror. No, scratch that…he WISHED he could pass out. He was already at her mercy, why not just sleep through the inevitable? Unfortunately, things once again failed to go his way. He yelped aloud as the Scorpio girl grabbed him by the shoulder, and flipped him over onto his back.

“You know, it is very rude to…heh heh…drop in on a lady, and not announce your presence Tavros. And to leave without even saying anything…now that is simply inexcusable. Are your manners as bad as your gaming skills? Am I going to have to teach you eveeeeeeeerything?” She grinned widely at this, and poked at his chest with her metal hand, causing him to whimper. “And look…you even broke my gaming equipment, along with my window! What a nuisance you are, Toreadumbass. But, nevermind. At least you’ve proved that you can follow a simple order. Good for you.”
“
This…uhhh…this isn’t the denizen’s lair…”

“Of course,” she continued, ignoring his stammering, “trying to sneak off like that…tsk, tsk…not so good! In fact, I dare say you’ve hurt my feelings, Pupa.”

“I…umm…you were asleep. I didn’t want to…uhh…disturb you…or somehow upset you…I seem to do that, uh…quite a lot…”

“Yes, you do, but never mind. Yes, I was sleeping…or rather, I was more awake than I’ve ever been. Did you know that, in this game, even when we sleep we are still playing, only in a different place.” Her grin widened. “I was there. And I learned stuff. I finally understand. I really am supposed to be on this team…damn her, she was right all along…and I’m supposed to be your server. And it will all work out beautifully.” She smirked in a way that, on any other girl anywhere else, might have come across as quite coquettish, maybe even adorable. “Isn’t it nice to have a purpose?”

He gulped, and tried again. “I…I thought…thought that you wanted me to fight the big monster…”

“And I do. And you will. After I’ve made sure that you are good. And. Ready. Prepare for some hands on training, Tavroooooooos.”

“…what?”

“You heard me. And this will serve more than one purpose. The others still don’t trust me. They have trouble belieeeeeeeeeving me. Isn’t that the saddest thing? But you are going to help me change all of that. When they see how much GOOD I’ve done for you, they will have to! Just think of me as…your Fairy Godmother.”

“you…you said…you said that fairies don’t exist…”

“And they don’t. But I do. “ She grabbed him by the horns, leaned forward…and kissed him once, on the end of his nose. His face glowed rust brown, having her so close to him like that. “And I’m ever so much more useful.”

Still holding him by the horns, she dragged him back towards the center of the room.

“Come on, Tavroooooooos! Let’s discuss gaming strategies. Won’t that be fun?” He whimpered again, and gave in to the inevitable.

Would you guys believe that this started from the simple premise of "What if Tavros just tried to quietly crawl away while Vriska was sleeping..."

Vriska actually scared me a little while I was writing this.

[Orange]

Jesus Vriska is terrible. Good fic though, Bardic.

[Bardic Feline]

Jesus Vriska is terrible. Good fic though, Bardic.

Thanks. I was trying my hardest to write Vriska the way Tavros might see her. I guess I succeeded, then?

Although, the frightening part is...canon, so far, seems to be one-upping me. Vriska is SO much more terrifying (and kinda horrifyingly funny) in this recent update than I could ever make her, and she hasn't even done anything yet. I...I'm scared.

[OracleEngineer]

I...I got inspired. This is yet another Vriska/Tavros scenario...that PROBABLY be construed as romantic. (Or, you could just interpret it as Vriska trying her hardest to make Tavros as uncomfortable as possible. And succeeding.) No, I have not abandoned the previous one, I just wanted to get this one out of my head as quickly as possible. (I can't believe I wrote down something as soon as I thought of it...that is actually pretty out of character for me.)

As with the previous one, this is a first draft, and has not had any major corrections, so...sorry.

Anyway, here it is!

Trapped in the Spider’s Web (Or: Oh Gog, What)

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Maybe it was the shock of the abrupt shift in environments, or the sudden crash that followed, but it took Tavros several minutes of spastic arm flailing to fully register a few important facts. For one, he was upside down. For two, his awesome rocket chair was tangled in a web. For three…he was in HER house. Oh crap. This was far worse than any monster could ever hope to be. He had to get out of there, and fast.
The final fact alone was enough to make him stop struggling. In fact, he stopped breathing for a bit. He hung there, staring at the frightening girl, clad in a white dress and fairy wings (this…didn’t actually surprise him that much, really…he was positive that this was her idea of a cruel joke.), curled up on a mound of broken 8-balls. If he hadn’t been so terrified of her, he might have found the sight to be charming. But all he could think of was finding a way to escape without alerting her to his presence. She hadn’t moved yet…she must have been sleeping pretty hard…so maybe…just maybe…

Moving as quietly as he could, Tavros struggled until he finally managed to get himself loose from the restraining straps that held him in his chair. He fell on the ground with a dull thud, head first. Oh, great, now his horns were stuck in the floor….
Several minutes of pulling and sweating, all the while biting his lips to keep himself from grunting, he somehow managed to pull his head free. He looked up fearfully at Vriska. Amazingly, she appeared to have slept through his performance undisturbed. He permitted himself a quiet sigh of relief, and reached up to catchpolouge his rocket chair. It was far too noisy to start up inside the house, and he didn’t want to risk her waking up while he was still trying to climb into the thing. He would just have to try to get outside without using it. Several strands of the spider web came with the chair; he would simply have to clean them off later.

He rolled over on his stomach, and began to crawl, arm over arm, towards the nearest exit. It was hard work, but thanks to arm strength built up due to time spent pushing himself around in his four wheeled device, it was not impossible. Left arm out, reach, and pull…now a breath…and the other arm, stretched in front of him, now reach, and pull…slowly, and steadily, he pulled himself nearer and nearer the door. I’m doing it, he thought, his heart pounding in his chest. I’m going to make it. Just a few more feet…just a few more inches…his arms were starting to hurt, but he didn’t care. Freedom was so close. He reached out and put his hand on the door.

A dainty, heeled shoe pressed down on the small of his back. “Going somewhere, Pupa?”

He almost passed out right then and there from sheer terror. No, scratch that…he WISHED he could pass out. He was already at her mercy, why not just sleep through the inevitable? Unfortunately, things once again failed to go his way. He yelped aloud as the Scorpio girl grabbed him by the shoulder, and flipped him over onto his back.

“You know, it is very rude to…heh heh…drop in on a lady, and not announce your presence Tavros. And to leave without even saying anything…now that is simply inexcusable. Are your manners as bad as your gaming skills? Am I going to have to teach you eveeeeeeeerything?” She grinned widely at this, and poked at his chest with her metal hand, causing him to whimper. “And look…you even broke my gaming equipment, along with my window! What a nuisance you are, Toreadumbass. But, nevermind. At least you’ve proved that you can follow a simple order. Good for you.”
“
This…uhhh…this isn’t the denizen’s lair…”

“Of course,” she continued, ignoring his stammering, “trying to sneak off like that…tsk, tsk…not so good! In fact, I dare say you’ve hurt my feelings, Pupa.”

“I…umm…you were asleep. I didn’t want to…uhh…disturb you…or somehow upset you…I seem to do that, uh…quite a lot…”

“Yes, you do, but never mind. Yes, I was sleeping…or rather, I was more awake than I’ve ever been. Did you know that, in this game, even when we sleep we are still playing, only in a different place.” Her grin widened. “I was there. And I learned stuff. I finally understand. I really am supposed to be on this team…damn her, she was right all along…and I’m supposed to be your server. And it will all work out beautifully.” She smirked in a way that, on any other girl anywhere else, might have come across as quite coquettish, maybe even adorable. “Isn’t it nice to have a purpose?”

He gulped, and tried again. “I…I thought…thought that you wanted me to fight the big monster…”

“And I do. And you will. After I’ve made sure that you are good. And. Ready. Prepare for some hands on training, Tavroooooooos.”

“…what?”

“You heard me. And this will serve more than one purpose. The others still don’t trust me. They have trouble belieeeeeeeeeving me. Isn’t that the saddest thing? But you are going to help me change all of that. When they see how much GOOD I’ve done for you, they will have to! Just think of me as…your Fairy Godmother.”

“you…you said…you said that fairies don’t exist…”

“And they don’t. But I do. “ She grabbed him by the horns, leaned forward…and kissed him once, on the end of his nose. His face glowed rust brown, having her so close to him like that. “And I’m ever so much more useful.”

Still holding him by the horns, she dragged him back towards the center of the room.

“Come on, Tavroooooooos! Let’s discuss gaming strategies. Won’t that be fun?” He whimpered again, and gave in to the inevitable.

Would you guys believe that this started from the simple premise of "What if Tavros just tried to quietly crawl away while Vriska was sleeping..."

Vriska actually scared me a little while I was writing this.

Oh my gog I have been waiting for someone to write something about this update. I'd rather get in a full-on brawl with Equius than be in Tavros' situation.

[yellowwedge]

Hey, has anyone thought of maybe doing a radio-play based on Homestuck? Perhaps it could involve us writing from our character's viewpoints (in Pesterchum Conversations), but then recording them as though they were actual conversations. We could get the lovely lads and lasses in the art department to rustle up a splash-page to sit-in for the video, and then put the video or videos onto YouTube.

I'll...just...
...go back to my corner now...

[foxesforsale]

Hey, has anyone thought of maybe doing a radio-play based on Homestuck? Perhaps it could involve us writing from our character's viewpoints (in Pesterchum Conversations), but then recording them as though they were actual conversations. We could get the lovely lads and lasses in the art department to rustle up a splash-page to sit-in for the video, and then put the video or videos onto YouTube.

I'll...just...
...go back to my corner now...

You may be thinking of something like this? http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...fting-HIVEBENT)

[yellowwedge]

You may be thinking of something like this? http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...fting-HIVEBENT)

Yes, though I was thinking one perhaps for the Kids, too.

Or perhaps even one for the Midnight crew. That would be great; I think I have some grim Noir music on my laptop somewhere which would fit with the story.

EDIT: I meant perhaps one SPECIFICALLY for the Midnight crew. It'd be like a mini-series.

[kmsumrall]

On the subject of voice acting, I'd love to hear readings or audioplays of some of the fiction on here. That'd be fun, "I do 20 parts on shenanigans. Oh, which parts? There is Dave, dave, davesprite, Dave...."

Good times.

That sounds really cool now. Anyone up for that?

[PaulPower]

Woo, here's a long piece. Kind of an attempt to tie together some of my other fics, although this is all new material. Pretty much slots in between Savior of the Waking World and Electromechnanism. Featuring daring escapes, the kids meeting up, hugs (and hug bunps), and prototyping with Bec and Dream Jade!

Where Four Will Gather

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There were still salamanders to be saved, but suddenly there wasn't time: in the distance, John could see Jack Noir approaching, glowing ominously with his fourth - and deadliest - prototyping. Time to make a dash back to his house. He spurred the rocketpack on across the sky, the fireflies blurring into streaks as he pushed the machine to its limits.

Executing the now-familiar crash landing in his room, John stood up. He had... what, a couple of minutes?... to collect a few personal mementos. This would probably be the last time he'd see his house, after all. The Cosbytop and Crosbytop (may as well have a backup), books (Sassacre, Harry Anderson and a bunch of programming books, just in case), games, movie posters, and - after only a moment's hesitation - the little card with the aromas of fatherly aftershaves and colognes.

He took one last look at his room. Maybe, somehow, it would escape Noir's assault. But he'd done all he could for now. Time to get going. He readjusted the jetpack and headed out the window, gunning for the second gate above his house, which the salamanders had confirmed led to Jade's second gate on her planet. But the stop-off at his house had allowed Noir to gain some ground, and it was a race against time. By the time he'd passed the first gate, they were only metres apart. Nanna was still hanging around the place, he noticed. Would she survive? Had Davesprite survived? He wondered how many more levels he and Dave would have to get before they'd be able to follow them.

Urging one last ounce of power from the rocketpack, John charged through the second gate, narrowly avoiding a swipe from one of Noir's tentacles, John emerged onto Jade's planet. Behind him, a loud explosion told him that Rose had blown the gate up behind him, to stop the Sovereign Slayer following. They were all waiting for him down below. He was safe - for now.

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He'd barely landed when Jade leapt forward with a cry of "JOHN!!!" and gave him a hug so fierce it nearly knocked him over. Glasses askew, they grinned at each other. "Er, yeah, good to see you too, sis," John said sheepishly as they separated and he readjusted his glasses.

"Don't worry about it man, she practically floored me when I popped out of the Gate 2 over her house," said Dave.
"Well, if you two will do these last-minute escapes from your dying planets, you've got to expect overemotional reactions like this," said Rose, blowing away the smoke from tips of her Thorns of Oglogoth. She hadn't bothered to use the gates to get to Jade's planet, preferring to surf there on jets of energy from the Thorns. She looked up at John. "Still... nice work, John. Staying behind to help as many salamanders as possible escape before you did... that was incredibly brave."
"And really dumb," added Dave, looking over at the group of salamanders that were milling around aimlessly, trying to make friends with the local fauna.
"And really dumb. But mostly incredibly brave."

And then Rose hugged him too. It was a rather formal, awkward hug at first. She's still having trouble with this, John thought. I bet she didn't even try hugging Dave or Jade. He experimented by squeezing a little harder, and was pleased to find the squeeze recipocated. Saying that, when the hug broke, Rose tweaked his nose.

"That's for getting my kitten lost in a stable time loop." But she didn't sound angry about it.
"Haha, geez, I said I was sorry..."
"Oh well, I should have known you'd do something daft like that. It was nice while it lasted, and I've still got Jaspersprite. Once we level up a bit more, that is."
"Jesus man, did you do something special to curry favour with the ladies?" asked Dave. "Okay, how do we do this..." He approached cautiously.
"Let's do this thing," said John, grinning.
"Let's make this shit work," added Dave, allowing himself a smile.

Finally the bro hug bump made contact. "We're doing it man," said John. "We're making this happen."

The four of them collapsed with laughter, perhaps more out of relief than anything.

"All you need are the filthy wifebeaters," said Rose, still smiling.

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A loud thunderclap broke the good mood, reminding them that they couldn't enjoy themselves like this for long. Over in the distance, towards Jade's house, a glowing green shape hovered in the air, crackling with untold energy.

"Shit, you two, why did you have to prototype with that hellbeast?" said Dave, suddenly annoyed. "You knew Noir would only get stronger with every prototyping. Hell, you told me that."
"Dave we didn't get a choice!" said Jade, sounding hurt. "As soon as the cruxtruder opened, Bec leapt into the kernelsprite before we could react! There was no way we could stop him."
"Yeah, and then he went off and used his combined Becsprite powers to blow up Jade's meteor," John added. "Just as well, really. There were like forty seconds left on the cruxtruder's countdown timer when we opened it. I think we might just have got the whole medium entry thing done in time without him, but... Bec saved us a lot of trouble."
"And he's given us a whole lot more. Every fourth underling's now a fucking nigh-invulnerable radioactive powerhouse. Told you you should have take him out behind the woodshed and - aw, c'mon Jade, please don't cry..."
"Dave Strider, master of tact," said Rose, rolling her eyes at John as Dave tried to comfort Jade. "Have you done a second prototyping yet? Perhaps with the right choice of object we could harness Becsprite more effectively, as a weapon against Monsieur Noirlecrow."
"Not yet, no," replied John. "We've tried a couple of times, but Bec just keeps dodging. He didn't even want to be prototyped with Jade's grandpa. Either he doesn't want to have a second-tier prototyping at all, or there's something specific he wants to be prototyped with... oh wait, I'm an idiot."
"Yeah, man, but we love you anyway," quipped Dave.
"Jade, when was the last time you went in your grandpa's lab?"

Jade blinked back the tears. "I don't think I've been in there since... since he died. Why?"
"Well, when I was dreaming on Skaia, I saw inside it. And you'll never guess what was in there!"

Silence fell. "You're right, I don't think I will," said Jade eventually. "What was it?"
"Your dreamself! He taxidermied it!"
"He... what? But how? He died like four years ago... I only just..."
"But he's still alive inside the medium! At least, I think he is... maybe he's gone back in time to die by now? Urrgh, time travel really screws you up."
"I'm going to pretend I understood that," said Rose.
"Great, now you want to try self-prototyping shenanigans too." said Dave. "Why does everyone always have to follow my lead?"
"What exactly would happen if we tried it?" Rose asked.
"I don't know..." said John. "It's kind of a grey area, really. Would you be okay with it, Jade?"

Jade smiled nervously. "Yeah, I think so. It might be why things had to happen the way they did, after all. And maybe resurrecting my dreamself... well, it just feels like it'd be a good thing, somehow."
"Okay. There's a return node over there," Dave said, pointing. "Let's get going, before Kefka finds another way in."

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"Did he really have to stuff you in that pose?" Dave snorted.
"I'm sorry, Jade, even I think that's funny," John agreed.
"Hey Jade, how big was the moon that hit you?"
"It was thiiiiiis big!" John finished, spreading his arms wide.
"When you two are quite finished," Rose admonished.
"No, it's okay, Rose," said Jade quietly. "It's good that we can still make jokes about it, really..."

John looked down at his feet, embarassed. "Sorry, Jade. It's just... well, you know."
"Yeah, sorry Jade," said Dave, shuffling uncomfortably.
"No, really guys, it's okay. We'll never get through this if we don't keep our spirits up."
"Okay then," said Rose. "Anyone got a juicy radioactive T-Bone steak?"

But even the mention of steak brought Becsprite flying over. "Good dog," said Jade, patting him.
"Best friend," Rose added, absent-mindedly giving the dog a stroke.

With careful use of the ghost gauntlets, John lowered Dream Jade's body into the sprite. Bec didn't try to dodge this time. There was a flash of light, and the result was...

... well. Bec's ears and nose combined with Jade's glasses, teeth and hair was an... unusual sight. Although the oddest part was the fact that the sprite appeared to be sleeping as it floated in midair.

"Well, you did always want to be a furry," Dave remarked.
"Why am I sleeping?" asked Jade.
"I thought you'd be able to work that out, given this is your area of expertise." said Rose. "She's a dreamself. She's asleep when you're awake, and vice versa."
"So if Jade goes to sleep..." said John.
"But I haven't felt like sleeping since my dreamself died!" said Jade.
"And that was, what, two hours ago? Practically a record," said Dave.
"Could you try going to sleep?" asked Rose. "Not to be rude or anything, but you've had enough practice."
"Okay..." said Jade, and she promptly slumped into a peaceful doze.

The other three looked at her. "Well, that was a bit of an anticlimax," said Dave, but a strange, ethereal voice from behind them stopped him in his tracks.

"Wowww... this is sooooo cooooooool..."

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"This is weirding me out," said Dave. "Having a doppelgänger fuse with a brainless feathery asshole was bad enough, but..."
"Speaking of which," said Rose, "is this a doppelgänger? Or is this actually Jade, the Jade having a nice nap over there?"
"Hmm," said John, "I don't know. Jade?"
"Yeah?"
"What was the first thing you asked me when I contacted you to get you into the medium?"

Jadesprite's reply was instant. "I asked you if your dreamself was okay..."
"That's her," said John.
"But seriously you guys this is amazing! Woof. Oops, hehe..."
"Better than dreaming?" asked Rose.

Jadesprite considered this for a second. "I don't know. It's... different. I mean there's no Skaia visions, no Prospit to explore, no Prospitians to make friends with... but it's weird. I feel like I know everything and could do anything!"
"Well that's handy," said Dave. "Is there anything in particular we should know?"

Jadesprite frowned "Well... that's the trouble. I don't know where to start. Maybe you could ask me some questions?"
"Why are we so fucking awesome?" Dave muttered to himself.
"Maybe we should leave this for later," said Rose. "Do you want to try waking up again first? Just... just to make sure you can?"

Jadesprite swallowed. "Okay." She shut her eyes, and everyone held their breath for a second. Jade woke up. The room relaxed.

"Aww... I've forgotten it all," Jade said.
"All of it?" asked John.
"Well... not quite. There was one thing."
"What?" asked Rose keenly.
"In the Veil. There's a big meteor - the biggest. And the labs there store the game's computer code!"
"So we can hack the game?" Dave asked.
"Yeah! Um... John, I don't suppose you brought your programming books with you?"

[northernVehemence]

EDIT: NINJA'D BY PAULPOWER BEING AWESOME

Oh my god. I almost peed my pants when Dave was like, "well, you always wanted to be a furry." Awesome job.

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I...I got inspired. This is yet another Vriska/Tavros scenario...that PROBABLY be construed as romantic. (Or, you could just interpret it as Vriska trying her hardest to make Tavros as uncomfortable as possible. And succeeding.) No, I have not abandoned the previous one, I just wanted to get this one out of my head as quickly as possible. (I can't believe I wrote down something as soon as I thought of it...that is actually pretty out of character for me.)

As with the previous one, this is a first draft, and has not had any major corrections, so...sorry.

Anyway, here it is!

Trapped in the Spider’s Web (Or: Oh Gog, What)

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Maybe it was the shock of the abrupt shift in environments, or the sudden crash that followed, but it took Tavros several minutes of spastic arm flailing to fully register a few important facts. For one, he was upside down. For two, his awesome rocket chair was tangled in a web. For three…he was in HER house. Oh crap. This was far worse than any monster could ever hope to be. He had to get out of there, and fast.
The final fact alone was enough to make him stop struggling. In fact, he stopped breathing for a bit. He hung there, staring at the frightening girl, clad in a white dress and fairy wings (this…didn’t actually surprise him that much, really…he was positive that this was her idea of a cruel joke.), curled up on a mound of broken 8-balls. If he hadn’t been so terrified of her, he might have found the sight to be charming. But all he could think of was finding a way to escape without alerting her to his presence. She hadn’t moved yet…she must have been sleeping pretty hard…so maybe…just maybe…

Moving as quietly as he could, Tavros struggled until he finally managed to get himself loose from the restraining straps that held him in his chair. He fell on the ground with a dull thud, head first. Oh, great, now his horns were stuck in the floor….
Several minutes of pulling and sweating, all the while biting his lips to keep himself from grunting, he somehow managed to pull his head free. He looked up fearfully at Vriska. Amazingly, she appeared to have slept through his performance undisturbed. He permitted himself a quiet sigh of relief, and reached up to catchpolouge his rocket chair. It was far too noisy to start up inside the house, and he didn’t want to risk her waking up while he was still trying to climb into the thing. He would just have to try to get outside without using it. Several strands of the spider web came with the chair; he would simply have to clean them off later.

He rolled over on his stomach, and began to crawl, arm over arm, towards the nearest exit. It was hard work, but thanks to arm strength built up due to time spent pushing himself around in his four wheeled device, it was not impossible. Left arm out, reach, and pull…now a breath…and the other arm, stretched in front of him, now reach, and pull…slowly, and steadily, he pulled himself nearer and nearer the door. I’m doing it, he thought, his heart pounding in his chest. I’m going to make it. Just a few more feet…just a few more inches…his arms were starting to hurt, but he didn’t care. Freedom was so close. He reached out and put his hand on the door.

A dainty, heeled shoe pressed down on the small of his back. “Going somewhere, Pupa?”

He almost passed out right then and there from sheer terror. No, scratch that…he WISHED he could pass out. He was already at her mercy, why not just sleep through the inevitable? Unfortunately, things once again failed to go his way. He yelped aloud as the Scorpio girl grabbed him by the shoulder, and flipped him over onto his back.

“You know, it is very rude to…heh heh…drop in on a lady, and not announce your presence Tavros. And to leave without even saying anything…now that is simply inexcusable. Are your manners as bad as your gaming skills? Am I going to have to teach you eveeeeeeeerything?” She grinned widely at this, and poked at his chest with her metal hand, causing him to whimper. “And look…you even broke my gaming equipment, along with my window! What a nuisance you are, Toreadumbass. But, nevermind. At least you’ve proved that you can follow a simple order. Good for you.”
“
This…uhhh…this isn’t the denizen’s lair…”

“Of course,” she continued, ignoring his stammering, “trying to sneak off like that…tsk, tsk…not so good! In fact, I dare say you’ve hurt my feelings, Pupa.”

“I…umm…you were asleep. I didn’t want to…uhh…disturb you…or somehow upset you…I seem to do that, uh…quite a lot…”

“Yes, you do, but never mind. Yes, I was sleeping…or rather, I was more awake than I’ve ever been. Did you know that, in this game, even when we sleep we are still playing, only in a different place.” Her grin widened. “I was there. And I learned stuff. I finally understand. I really am supposed to be on this team…damn her, she was right all along…and I’m supposed to be your server. And it will all work out beautifully.” She smirked in a way that, on any other girl anywhere else, might have come across as quite coquettish, maybe even adorable. “Isn’t it nice to have a purpose?”

He gulped, and tried again. “I…I thought…thought that you wanted me to fight the big monster…”

“And I do. And you will. After I’ve made sure that you are good. And. Ready. Prepare for some hands on training, Tavroooooooos.”

“…what?”

“You heard me. And this will serve more than one purpose. The others still don’t trust me. They have trouble belieeeeeeeeeving me. Isn’t that the saddest thing? But you are going to help me change all of that. When they see how much GOOD I’ve done for you, they will have to! Just think of me as…your Fairy Godmother.”

“you…you said…you said that fairies don’t exist…”

“And they don’t. But I do. “ She grabbed him by the horns, leaned forward…and kissed him once, on the end of his nose. His face glowed rust brown, having her so close to him like that. “And I’m ever so much more useful.”

Still holding him by the horns, she dragged him back towards the center of the room.

“Come on, Tavroooooooos! Let’s discuss gaming strategies. Won’t that be fun?” He whimpered again, and gave in to the inevitable.

Would you guys believe that this started from the simple premise of "What if Tavros just tried to quietly crawl away while Vriska was sleeping..."

Vriska actually scared me a little while I was writing this.

Awesome fic, Bardic. Like, whoa.

I just want to illustrate like everything in this thread!!

And thanks to everyone who commented on my fic. I'm really trying to get better at writing. Baby steps. :P

@kmsumrall -- I'd be up for doing a little voice acting, just for the fanfics. The actual voice acting of the comic scares me a little though.

And yes, I do have a microphone, but not a scanner or a tablet. It's a crazy, mixed-up world.

[yellowwedge]

I decided to write a little something whilst I wait for AVG to stop clowning around and get rid of the virus on my laptop.You could say that this tale was inspired by this rather persistent virus wreaking havoc on my system. What would happen if Sburb became corrupted or infected with some kind of virus?

Yes, it's not up to scratch but I'm a little tired and I just wanted to get something down. I thought you might like it and I promise I will write something better later! :3

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There are two kinds of nightmare: the kind which haunts your dreams, but vanishes once you awaken, sweating and gasping for air but very much alive, and the other kind. The other kind involves waking up and gazing out of the window, to the knowledge that the horror about which you had dreamed is waiting for you to open the door and allow it to tear you to pieces.

It is to the second kind of horror that I awoke that day; hair disheveled and chin unshaven I slid from the bed in which I had spent the past twenty nights and rested both elbows on the window sill.
Below, at the very foot of the tower: around what had once been my home and was now a vast, McEscher-like construct, clustered a sea of darkness: pitch black shapes jostling for space. As I emerged from my room they looked up, as one; thousands upon thousands of crimson eyes regarding me unblinkingly.

It was this that I found un-nerving: the way they just watched. They never tried to climb the tower, or even break down the doors (which I was sure they could have done). Amongst the tide of black, hulking shapes as large as small buildings were dotted about. These fiends would often wake me at night: roaring and stomping at the ground impatiently.
“Come out” I could imagine them calling “Come out and fight us.”
Fat chance.

In the distance, through the eternal rain which battered against my tower; my sole adversary, I could often make out other such buildings. Other towers like mine. Had other players been here? Perhaps this was a trick, to tempt me from my secure position. Well whomever had built them hadn't got very far: all (that I could make out) were stunted and unfinished. Amongst these constructs, great shapes shifted and strode: emitting hooting calls which rolled across the land. Some of these silhouettes were so tall, they rose above the storm clouds, out of sight. Monsters indeed.

I glanced over at the laptop which sat upon the bedside table.
No connection.
I was stranded, without my friends and without access to the internet. I had no way of building, or knowing what quantity of resources I had left. I'd refrained from Alchemizing any items to conserve supplies, but even now I doubted I had an impressive amount of Grist to play with.

Most of my furniture was now on the ground floor; filling the rooms and piled against the doors to prevent the swarm from entering, but that made things worse for me because now the room was bare and my eyes were constantly drawn to the clock which adorned the far wall.
Tick, tick, tick.
How much longer did I have? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days?
I couldn't stand the melancholy emptiness of my bedroom and I left it, crossing to the bathroom and splashing cold water on my face. At least I had a never ending supply of that, right? Bloody rain...

Tick, tick, tick.
This wasn't fun any more. I had realized long ago that Sburb was more than a game, it's true, but it'd just dawned on me that this wasn't what I could have been doing. I could have been at home, with my family. I could have been working on my homework; Stuck in my home, perhaps, but not with all of hell outside waiting for me to come and play.

Tick, tick, tick.
That clock was drumming a rhythm into my skull. I picked it up and hurled it through the window; down to the black sea below, and then I sat on my bed. It had all gone wrong. I just wanted to get away. I just wanted to get home.

Only that's the point of Sburb, isn't it? You get away from things. You bring some excitement into your otherwise mundane lives. You become the hero for a few precious days, and then...what?
Do you get to go home when you win? Do you get to return to your normal lives?

Was any of this even real? If I walked out there, slashing and striking with my Rapier, would I die and wake up at my desk, with the kettle boiling on the stove, my boss shouting at me down the phone and the cat meowing at my feet?

Even if it wasn't, and the whole thing was real, would it really be worth staying? The game was unwinnable...
Tick, tick, tick.
Oh Christ; the ticking was back. Right in my ears, as though the clock were hanging before me, but I knew this was just me, going crazy on my own in the stuffy, broken tower. Maybe if I went outside, the ticking would stop. I could get some air and think about things.
Oh wait, armies of hell out there. My bad.

I sat a moment longer, staring at the blank wall before me and thinking, before straightening and picking up the long fencing blade, propped up against the wall.
Tick, tick, tick, ti-

[Graven_Image]

@PaulPower:

That was great. I think we can all agree that DreamJade + Bec= OTPrototyping.


@yellowwedge:

That was also great. I thought it was a dreamless melancholy Jade narrating until I read "bloody rain." Jade doesn't say any british anything, to the best of my knowledge.

[LeCrab]

Boper9 and nV those are both really awesome fics. Nice to see a different side of Vriska and Equius when they interact, while still keeping them in line with their general characteristics. You never really get to see them interact that way. Very cool. Boper I especially liked Equius trying to calculate his next move while thinking "This is a dangerous girl". Very well done!

Also nV that pic is really cool but awww Equius' face

[yellowwedge]

@yellowwedge:

That was also great. I thought it was a dreamless melancholy Jade narrating until I read "bloody rain." Jade doesn't say any british anything, to the best of my knowledge.

Thank you! It's always nice to get feedback! ^.^
Yes, I am British and unfortunately, some of my British-isms sometimes find their way into my writing, thus confuddling any non-Brits who happen to be reading it. :3

In other news, I appear to have killed the virus I had with fire. Perhaps this little piece can have a happy ending after all.

[OracleEngineer]

I decided to write a little something whilst I wait for AVG to stop clowning around and get rid of the virus on my laptop.You could say that this tale was inspired by this rather persistent virus wreaking havoc on my system. What would happen if Sburb became corrupted or infected with some kind of virus?

Yes, it's not up to scratch but I'm a little tired and I just wanted to get something down. I thought you might like it and I promise I will write something better later! :3

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hide spoiler

There are two kinds of nightmare: the kind which haunts your dreams, but vanishes once you awaken, sweating and gasping for air but very much alive, and the other kind. The other kind involves waking up and gazing out of the window, to the knowledge that the horror about which you had dreamed is waiting for you to open the door and allow it to tear you to pieces.

It is to the second kind of horror that I awoke that day; hair disheveled and chin unshaven I slid from the bed in which I had spent the past twenty nights and rested both elbows on the window sill.
Below, at the very foot of the tower: around what had once been my home and was now a vast, McEscher-like construct, clustered a sea of darkness: pitch black shapes jostling for space. As I emerged from my room they looked up, as one; thousands upon thousands of crimson eyes regarding me unblinkingly.

It was this that I found un-nerving: the way they just watched. They never tried to climb the tower, or even break down the doors (which I was sure they could have done). Amongst the tide of black, hulking shapes as large as small buildings were dotted about. These fiends would often wake me at night: roaring and stomping at the ground impatiently.
“Come out” I could imagine them calling “Come out and fight us.”
Fat chance.

In the distance, through the eternal rain which battered against my tower; my sole adversary, I could often make out other such buildings. Other towers like mine. Had other players been here? Perhaps this was a trick, to tempt me from my secure position. Well whomever had built them hadn't got very far: all (that I could make out) were stunted and unfinished. Amongst these constructs, great shapes shifted and strode: emitting hooting calls which rolled across the land. Some of these silhouettes were so tall, they rose above the storm clouds, out of sight. Monsters indeed.

I glanced over at the laptop which sat upon the bedside table.
No connection.
I was stranded, without my friends and without access to the internet. I had no way of building, or knowing what quantity of resources I had left. I'd refrained from Alchemizing any items to conserve supplies, but even now I doubted I had an impressive amount of Grist to play with.

Most of my furniture was now on the ground floor; filling the rooms and piled against the doors to prevent the swarm from entering, but that made things worse for me because now the room was bare and my eyes were constantly drawn to the clock which adorned the far wall.
Tick, tick, tick.
How much longer did I have? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days?
I couldn't stand the melancholy emptiness of my bedroom and I left it, crossing to the bathroom and splashing cold water on my face. At least I had a never ending supply of that, right? Bloody rain...

Tick, tick, tick.
This wasn't fun any more. I had realized long ago that Sburb was more than a game, it's true, but it'd just dawned on me that this wasn't what I could have been doing. I could have been at home, with my family. I could have been working on my homework; Stuck in my home, perhaps, but not with all of hell outside waiting for me to come and play.

Tick, tick, tick.
That clock was drumming a rhythm into my skull. I picked it up and hurled it through the window; down to the black sea below, and then I sat on my bed. It had all gone wrong. I just wanted to get away. I just wanted to get home.

Only that's the point of Sburb, isn't it? You get away from things. You bring some excitement into your otherwise mundane lives. You become the hero for a few precious days, and then...what?
Do you get to go home when you win? Do you get to return to your normal lives?

Was any of this even real? If I walked out there, slashing and striking with my Rapier, would I die and wake up at my desk, with the kettle boiling on the stove, my boss shouting at me down the phone and the cat meowing at my feet?

Even if it wasn't, and the whole thing was real, would it really be worth staying? The game was unwinnable...
Tick, tick, tick.
Oh Christ; the ticking was back. Right in my ears, as though the clock were hanging before me, but I knew this was just me, going crazy on my own in the stuffy, broken tower. Maybe if I went outside, the ticking would stop. I could get some air and think about things.
Oh wait, armies of hell out there. My bad.

I sat a moment longer, staring at the blank wall before me and thinking, before straightening and picking up the long fencing blade, propped up against the wall.
Tick, tick, tick, ti-

:O That was great! Loved it. I also have a virus on my computer, and AVG is just being a useless tool. :<

[yellowwedge]

:O That was great! Loved it. I also have a virus on my computer, and AVG is just being a useless tool. :<

I used to use Spyware Doctor, which was brilliant, but then my subscription ran out and I didn't have any monies to renew my subscription. Curse you lack of funds! Being a student is tough ]:

But thank you muchly for your review! I might just write an ending for the story now...
:3

[northernVehemence]

DAMN yellowwedge. That was awesome. It would be kind of cool of Sburb was actually just one big world-wrecking virus.

umm, I have a request, sort of! I was doodling a few days ago, and I drew a picture of Karkat punching Equius, that I posted here....

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in writing a fic to go along with that picture, because I think it's just begging for a backstory.

If you do this, I will fully illustrate a fic of your choosing!

[kmsumrall]

DAMN yellowwedge. That was awesome. It would be kind of cool of Sburb was actually just one big world-wrecking virus.

umm, I have a request, sort of! I was doodling a few days ago, and I drew a picture of Karkat punching Equius, that I posted here....

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in writing a fic to go along with that picture, because I think it's just begging for a backstory.

If you do this, I will fully illustrate a fic of your choosing!

Oh, cool. I'll do it.

[Red Pen]

Holy cow, I'm gone for a week and I come back and there is SO MUCH FIC. I will get caught up someday!

[Sushi Database]

(Part One)
(Part Two)
(Part Three)
(Part Four)
(Part Five)
(Part Six)


Shenanigans, part seven

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TT: You prototyped it with a BOMB?
TT: Seriously, are you an idiot?
TG: idiot like a fox

Dave had a basic strategy for this fight, but he had to admit it had about a 50% chance of really working. Hephaestus looked about the same, but now he sort of a red glow all over, and his head had a huge fuse stuck out of it. You didn't have to be an uberl33t gamer to see how this fight was supposed to be won. Hephaestus might as well be wearing a t-shirt that said I RECEIVED MY SECOND PROTOTYPING AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS GLARING WEAK SPOT

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME, STRIDER! I CAN SMELLL YOU!"

Dave shuddered. Hephaestus sounded like Brian Blessed crossed with David Werner, having a temper tantrum. Dave couldn't decide if this was disappointing or everything he'd ever wanted in the person about to kill him. He drew his sword and tried to think about the best way to run out there. Dash up the first pillar, rocket over to the first pillar, and then land on Hephaestus' head? Hmm. A good plan. But he had nothing to light the fuse with. Maybe... grab something, and jam it in the gears of-

Dave was thrown from his feet by a fiery explosion against the other side of the wall he was leaning against. wtf? he could throw fireballs now? that didnt seem fair.

"BEHOLD MY POWER!

oh my god, shut UP

Gritting his teeth, Dave leaped to his feet and ran out into the open. Hephaestus immediately began to rev up his wheelchariot, which was now obnoxiously deafening. "I HAVE YOU NOW, STRIDER! YOUR DOOM IS AT HAND!" The wheelchariot charged at him in a direct collision course, and Dave ran at it head-on, his sword held low. He angled it down and extended Caledscratch to full length, spiking the floor and vaulting him into the air over Hephaestus' head. On the way down he grabbed the back bumper of the wheelchariot and held on for dear life.

"WHAT?!?! WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY!? I WILL FIND YOU AND END YOU, STRIDER! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR FATE!" Dave breathed a very quiet sigh of relief. Apparently Hephaestus couldnt really smell him and just shouted things without them meaning anything. Now all he needed was to stay quiet, mess with the wheelchariot, and drive this crazy asshole into his own forge. Couldn't be easier than-

"HOO HAA HEE HAA HOO HEE!"

Dave froze. No. Not now, please. Hephaestus was silent, not sure what to make of this sudden sound. please cal if you have any kind of empathy just... be very quiet. He didn't need this, not now.

"HEE HAA HOO HAA HOO HAA!" Calsprite shrieked, flying directly at Hephaestus and shooting a blast of lasery puppet rump. "HOO HAA HOO HEE HAA HEE!"

"TRICKERY! Hephaestus shouted again, quickly becoming buried under a fucking apocalypse of energy-based perky proboscis. Dave breathed a sigh of relief. This could actually work in his favor. The wheelchariot had stopped moving, so Dave climbed up the bumper and around the seat. that's it, cal. keep being a horrible obnoxious abomination and distract this guy just a little bit longer He reached out for the gearstick. So close... so close...

"AHA! STRIDER, YOU INSECT! I HAVE FOUND YOU!" So close! Hephaestus grabbed Dave by the back of his shirt and held him up in the air. "SO THIS WAS YOUR AIM- SABOTAGE!" fuuuuuuuuuck Hephaestus laughed loudly and threw Dave into Calsprite, both of them hitting the far wall with a loud cracking sound. On Earth, an impact like that could have broken his ribs and left him unable to fight. Maybe even broken his neck and killed him. As it was, Dave thanked his lucky stars for hero physics and removed a few gumption wafers from his grit ciborium.

Dave slowly rose to his feet, only to be hit by a fireball head on and be knocked back to the ground again. A few more wafers. "GET UP, STRIDER! HAHA! GET UP AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN!"

"Cal," Dave coughed. "Distract him or some shit. Help me out here."

Calsprite stiffly saluted, and started flying around Hephaestus' head, cackling maniacally and blasting him with puppets. "INDIGNITY!" It wouldn't contain him long, but it would give Dave a second to breathe. Dave looked around. There had to be something here- an iron rod, or something that he could jam into the wheelchariot's gears. And then he saw something. Not an iron rod, but near the entrance to the Forge... a small, silhouetted figure. A height that he knew only too well. It had to be. A Dave. The figure raised an arm.

Suddenly, Hephaestus went limp. Calsprite stopped bombarding him, looking at Dave for directions. Hephaestus raised his arm jerkily, and then lowered it down to his wheelchariot.

what

Hephaestus shifted the wheelchariot's gear and revved the engine. Weakly, he mumble-shouted, "CURSES! UNDONE!" and gunned the engine, driving straight towards the forge. Eyes widening, Dave waved to Calsprite and started running for the door. He didn't know what was going on but if there was one thing Egbert's terrible streaming movie nights had told him, it was that cool guys did not look at explosions.

Dave and Calsprite barely made it to the door before Hephaetus reached the forge. The explosion through them from the building, and while Calsprite just hovered through the air, Dave tumbled down the steps, losing a few more wafers on the way. He stopped moving when he hit the ground, beaten, bruised, and slightly singed.

The Dave that had saved him stood over him, wearing a hood over his face that obscured him. "I, haha, warned you about, heh, stairs."

Dave slowly rose to his feet. "...I told you dog."

"We need to get you, hahahahaha, out of here as quickly as, haha, possible. That blast will- hehehehe!- uh, will knock Hephaestus out, but it wont, hehe, kill him. The barrier should be down."

Dave rubbed the dirt from his feet. "Dude, you did me a solid back there. I owe you, bro."

"Don't, hahaha, sweat it. Heh, we Daves have to stick together."

Dave cracked his neck. "Is there something funny?"

"...hehehooo, no. There... isn't. Follow me."

The hooded Dave walked through the village at a brisk pace. Other Daves saw them, but they did not intervene. Maybe they didn't understand what was going on. "Okay, um, I'm not going to commit a party foul and ask your name, but seriously, I owe you for that."

"I was only hahahahahahaha able to do it because you prototyped him, hehehe, with the cherry bombs. Hephaestus is hahaha pretty much unkillable, but you were pretty smart to give it a weak spot like that. He will be furious when he finds out, so you cant stay here."

"Hephaestus will be furious? He seems pretty furious already." Dave scratched his head, running behind the other Dave to catch up. "Wait, that didn't make sense, he already knows that I prototyped him."

"I wasn't hahahahahahaha talking about Hephaestus. I hahahoohoohe was referring to Dave."

"You're really going to have to be more specific, dude. I mean, come on."

The hooded Dave shook his head. "It doesnt matter. HA! You need to just get out of here and never come back. Finish your session, save John and Jade. For- hahahahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha! Hehe, he, for... forget about this place. We're already lost."

"I don't think I have much of a choice. I'm already predestined to come back."

"We all, hehehehe, have a choice." They were leaving the village limits and approaching the cliffs were before a blue force barrier had sealed them inside. "Hoohoohoohooo! It is, perhaps, all we have. Even if the results always turn out the same... ha... we always had that choice."

Dave stood where the barrier was supposed to be, silent. Suddenly, he lunged forward and pulled off the other Dave's hood.

"You're... you're..." Dave shook his head. "You're the other sprite, aren't you?"

He was orange, but he didn't look like the sprites Dave had come to expect. No sword through his gut. No wings. But even though he was shaped more like a human, he was horrible to behold. Skin like polished wood. A hinged jaw. That suit, that bow tie... and orange strings extending from every limb, disappearing when they reached above his head. Suspended by nothing but his own will.

"Hahaha, yes I am," Calsprite Dave said sadly. "They like to pretend, haha, that I don't exist. John never listened to the trolls in my session. Jade never picked up the bird. Things just turned out different. I- hahahahahahahahahooohoohooohoo! I... I prototyped with Cal first, and then the sprite suggested that I prototype it with myself second."

"It suggested it to me, too, " Dave said. He couldn't stop staring. Calsprite Dave was really no different from him; just another Dave forced into an impossible situation. But just looking at him, he looked... wrong. No Dave should look like this. "Crowsprite suggested that I prototype with myself. I was scared, though, I didn't know what would happen-"

"None of us, hahaha, none of us ever know what is going to happen," Calsprite Dave said. "We just- hooohoohoo! make the best guesses we can. I, hehehehaa made a mistake, so many of us did, but one Dave will get it right. I think that Dave could be you."

Dave nodded. "When you got here, you tried to lead all the other Daves into fighting Hephaestus. ...why didn't you win? What you just did, you should have won."

"I hahahaha did not do that."

"I thought... I was told you did. That you were the first one here. Or at least the leader at some point."

"I was the second hahahahaHAHA! I was... the second to arrive here. When I got here, haha, the Davesprite was already here."

"Which... Davesprite?"

Calsprite Dave stared into Dave's eyes, black glass locking with eyeball. "HOOHOOHOOHEEeeee! You... know which Davesprite."

Yeah. He did. It wasn't even that surprising. Dave nodded. "I'm going to come back for you. For all of you. No, for all of us"

"Hahahaha, don't bother, please. Just fix your session. Do what we couldn't."

"I don't think I have a choice," Dave said.

"We all have-"

"I know." He reached out his hand to Calsprite Dave. "But I'm still just another Dave."

Calsprite Dave smiled and shook his hand. "Hahahaha... godspeed, Dave. Good luck and godspeed."

Dave turned and walked away.

On to Part Eight...

[crash826]

(Part One)
(Part Two)
(Part Three)
(Part Four)
(Part Five)
(Part Six)


Shenanigans, part seven

show spoiler

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TT: You prototyped it with a BOMB?
TT: Seriously, are you an idiot?
TG: idiot like a fox

Dave had a basic strategy for this fight, but he had to admit it had about a 50% chance of really working. Hephaestus looked about the same, but now he sort of a red glow all over, and his head had a huge fuse stuck out of it. You didn't have to be an uberl33t gamer to see how this fight was supposed to be won. Hephaestus might as well be wearing a t-shirt that said I RECEIVED MY SECOND PROTOTYPING AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS GLARING WEAK SPOT

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME, STRIDER! I CAN SMELLL YOU!"

Dave shuddered. Hephaestus sounded like Brian Blessed crossed with David Werner, having a temper tantrum. Dave couldn't decide if this was disappointing or everything he'd ever wanted in the person about to kill him. He drew his sword and tried to think about the best way to run out there. Dash up the first pillar, rocket over to the first pillar, and then land on Hephaestus' head? Hmm. A good plan. But he had nothing to light the fuse with. Maybe... grab something, and jam it in the gears of-

Dave was thrown from his feet by a fiery explosion against the other side of the wall he was leaning against. wtf? he could throw fireballs now? that didnt seem fair.

"BEHOLD MY POWER!

oh my god, shut UP

Gritting his teeth, Dave leaped to his feet and ran out into the open. Hephaestus immediately began to rev up his wheelchariot, which was now obnoxiously deafening. "I HAVE YOU NOW, STRIDER! YOUR DOOM IS AT HAND!" The wheelchariot charged at him in a direct collision course, and Dave ran at it head-on, his sword held low. He angled it down and extended Caledscratch to full length, spiking the floor and vaulting him into the air over Hephaestus' head. On the way down he grabbed the back bumper of the wheelchariot and held on for dear life.

"WHAT?!?! WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY!? I WILL FIND YOU AND END YOU, STRIDER! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR FATE!" Dave breathed a very quiet sigh of relief. Apparently Hephaestus couldnt really smell him and just shouted things without them meaning anything. Now all he needed was to stay quiet, mess with the wheelchariot, and drive this crazy asshole into his own forge. Couldn't be easier than-

"HOO HAA HEE HAA HOO HEE!"

Dave froze. No. Not now, please. Hephaestus was silent, not sure what to make of this sudden sound. please cal if you have any kind of empathy just... be very quiet. He didn't need this, not now.

"HEE HAA HOO HAA HOO HAA!" Calsprite shrieked, flying directly at Hephaestus and shooting a blast of lasery puppet rump. "HOO HAA HOO HEE HAA HEE!"

"TRICKERY! Hephaestus shouted again, quickly becoming buried under a fucking apocalypse of energy-based perky proboscis. Dave breathed a sigh of relief. This could actually work in his favor. The wheelchariot had stopped moving, so Dave climbed up the bumper and around the seat. that's it, cal. keep being a horrible obnoxious abomination and distract this guy just a little bit longer He reached out for the gearstick. So close... so close...

"AHA! STRIDER, YOU INSECT! I HAVE FOUND YOU!" So close! Hephaestus grabbed Dave by the back of his shirt and held him up in the air. "SO THIS WAS YOUR AIM- SABOTAGE!" fuuuuuuuuuck Hephaestus laughed loudly and threw Dave into Calsprite, both of them hitting the far wall with a loud cracking sound. On Earth, an impact like that could have broken his ribs and left him unable to fight. Maybe even broken his neck and killed him. As it was, Dave thanked his lucky stars for hero physics and removed a few gumption wafers from his grit ciborium.

Dave slowly rose to his feet, only to be hit by a fireball head on and be knocked back to the ground again. A few more wafers. "GET UP, STRIDER! HAHA! GET UP AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN!"

"Cal," Dave coughed. "Distract him or some shit. Help me out here."

Calsprite stiffly saluted, and started flying around Hephaestus' head, cackling meniacally and blasting him with puppets. "INDIGNITY!" It wouldn't contain him long, but it would give Dave a second to breathe. Dave looked around. There had to be something here- an iron rod, or something that he could jam into the wheelchariot's gears. And then he saw something. Not an iron rod, but near the entrance to the Forge... a small, silhouetted figure. A height that he knew only too well. It had to be. A Dave. The figure raised an arm.

Suddenly, Hephaestus went limp. Calsprite stopped bombarding him, looking at Dave for directions. Hephaestus raised his arm jerkily, and then lowered it down to his wheelchariot.

what

Hephaestus shifted the wheelchariot's gear and revved the engine. Weakly, he mumble-shouted, "CURSES! UNDONE!" and gunned the engine, driving straight towards the forge. Eyes widening, Dave waved to Calsprite and started running for the door. He didn't know what was going on but if there was one thing Egbert's terrible streaming movie nights had told him, it was that cool guys did not look at explosions.

Dave and Calsprite barely made it to the door before Hephaetus reached the forge. The explosion through them from the building, and while Calsprite just hovered through the air, Dave tumbled down the steps, losing a few more wafers on the way. He stopped moving when he hit the ground, beaten, bruised, and slightly singed.

The Dave that had saved him stood over him, wearing a hood over his face that obscured him. "I, haha, warned you about, heh, stairs."

Dave slowly rose to his feet. "...I told you dog."

"We need to get you, hahahahaha, out of here as quickly as, haha, possible. That blast will- hehehehe!- uh, will knock Hephaestus out, but it wont, hehe, kill him. The barrier should be down."

Dave rubbed the dirty from his feet. "Dude, you did me a solid back there. I owe you, bro."

"Don't, hahaha, sweat it. Heh, we Daves have to stick together."

Dave cracked his neck. "Is there something funny?"

"...hehehooo, no. There... isn't. Follow me."

The hooded Dave walked through the village at a brisk pace. Other Daves saw them, but they did not intervene. Maybe they didn't understand what was going on. "Okay, um, I'm not going to commit a party foul and ask your name, but seriously, I owe you for that."

"I was only hahahahahahaha able to do it because you prototyped him, hehehe, with the cherry bombs. Hephaestus is hahaha pretty much unkillable, but you were pretty smart to give it a weak spot like that. He will be furious when he finds out, so you cant stay here."

"Hephaestus will be furious? He seems pretty furious already." Dave scratched his head, running behind the other Dave to catch up. "Wait, that didn't make sense, he already knows that I prototyped him."

"I wasn't hahahahahahaha talking about Hephaestus. I hahahoohoohe was referring to Dave."

"You're really going to have to be more specific, dude. I mean, come on."

The hooded Dave shook his head. "It doesnt matter. HA! You need to just get out of here and never come back. Finish your session, save John and Jade. For- hahahahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha! Hehe, he, for... forget about this place. We're already lost."

"I don't think I have much of a choice. I'm already predestined to come back."

"We all, hehehehe, have a choice." They were leaving the village limits and approaching the cliffs were before a blue force barrier had sealed them inside. "Hoohoohoohooo! It is, perhaps, all we have. Even if the results always turn out the same... ha... we always had that choice."

Dave stood where the barrier was supposed to be, silent. Suddenly, he lunged forward and pulled off the other Dave's hood.

"You're... you're..." Dave shook his head. "You're the other sprite, aren't you?"

He was orange, but he didn't look like the sprites Dave had come to expect. No sword through his gut. No wings. But even though he was shaped more like a human, he was horrible to behold. Skin like polished wood. A hinged jaw. That suit, that bow tie... and orange strings extending from every limb, disappearing when they reached above his head. Suspended by nothing but his own will.

"Hahaha, yes I am," Calsprite Dave said sadly. "They like to pretend, haha, that I don't exist. John never listened to the trolls in my session. Jade never picked up the bird. Things just turned out different. I- hahahahahahahahahooohoohooohoo! I... I prototyped with Cal first, and then the sprite suggested that I prototype it with myself second."

"It suggested it to me, too, " Dave said. He couldn't stop staring. Calsprite Dave was really no different from him; just another Dave forced into an impossible situation. But just looking at him, he looked... wrong. No Dave should look like this. "Crowsprite suggested that I prototype with myself. I was scared, though, I didn't know what would happen-"

"None of us, hahaha, none of us ever know what is going to happen," Calsprite Dave said. "We just- hooohoohoo! make the best guesses we can. I, hehehehaa made a mistake, so many of us did, but one Dave will get it right. I think that Dave could be you."

Dave nodded. "When you got here, you tried to lead all the other Daves into fighting Hephaestus. ...why didn't you win? What you just did, you should have won."

"I hahahaha did not do that."

"I thought... I was told you did. That you were the first one here. Or at least the leader at some point."

"I was the second hahahahaHAHA! I was... the second to arrive here. When I got here, haha, the Davesprite was already here."

"Which... Davesprite?"

Calsprite Dave stared into Dave's eyes, black glass locking with eyeball. "HOOHOOHOOHEEeeee! You... know which Davesprite."

Yeah. He did. It wasn't even that surprising. Dave nodded. "I'm going to come back for you. For all of you. No, for all of us"

"Hahahaha, don't bother, please. Just fix your session. Do what we couldn't."

"I don't think I have a choice," Dave said.

"We all have-"

"I know." He reached out his hand to Calsprite Dave. "But I'm still just another Dave."

Calsprite Dave smiled and shook his hand. "Hahahaha... godspeed, Dave. Good luck and godspeed."

Dave turned and walked away.

Alright. You are promoted in the ranks of the Internet Marriage.
To GOD OF MARRIAGE.
BECAUSE THAT WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEE