MSPA fan-fiction

[reclusiveAmateur]

Catalyst Chapter 4

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OH SNAP

SPOILER PSYCH-OUT

Epic Introduction!
Compelling Rising Action!
Climax? Don't Bet On It!

It's the ending everybody would have asked for if they had realized it could happen! Cal Trilogy Volume 4!

I love everything about this. Just-- everything. So very much.

I would say reclusiveAmateur inspired me, but I think that would give a wildly false idea of the following fic's quality. So, yeah, have some unnecessarily genre-savvy Rose and(/?) Dave:

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"So," says Dave, slowly lowering his katana, "that was pretty anticlimactic."

"It's to be expected," says Rose. She's still breathing hard, her heart pounding like the war drums that have just -- finally -- stopped. "With so much dramatic development on the way to the final boss battle, there was no possible way for the whole game to be resolved in a fashion satisfactory to all four of us. It's as though you haven't even read the reviews in GameBro."

"Shut the fuck up, that thing is my bible," Dave replies automatically. He thuds to the ground, next to her. When he doesn't add hyperbole, Rose turns to look at him and sees that he's surveying the plains. She tips down his sunglasses to see that his eyes are red, from dust or just exhaustion. He swats her hand too late.

Behind them John says, "Did you see that? Oh man! Guys! That was better than the end of National Treasure!"

"Strider," Rose says, thoughtfully, "I'm starting to think that our adventure had a protagonist, and we're not it."

He rolls his eyes. "If we were the heroes shit would've gotten done a lot faster."

"This is true," she says. "I'm going to grossly invade your personal space again, I hope you don't mind."

"If I thought you could be stopped I'd have stopped you around when you made me that scarf," Dave mutters, and she leans her head on his shoulder. "Seriously, what were you thinking with that thing. I can't go out in public now. People are going to stop me on the streets."

"No one's going to stop you on the streets," Rose says, drowsily, "because there aren't any streets any more." She thinks about it. "I imagine they could stop you in the streets of Derse."

He's uncharacteristically quiet again, then he says, "I was gonna make a joke about the shithole you live in. But I actually have no idea what shithole you live in."

"Rural New York," she says. "Or the Land of Light and Rain, I suppose. I don't know what your brother's name is."

"I don't know what sweet classical jams written for old people you listen to."

She smiles. "Yes, you do, since you sent me all of it."

"It's true, my stuff is classic," he agrees. He nudges her with his shoulder. "You conking out on me, Lalonde?"

"I wouldn't dare," she says, her eyes drifting closed. "You'd draw a masterpiece in Sharpie on my face."

She can feel him nod. "It'll be like Picasso. You'll have three eyes and six dicks before your dreamself even wakes up."

"Well, I do live to be the canvas for your enduring art," she says, but she stays awake. In a minute John and Jade will come back and tell them what 'sweet loot' they've gotten from the boss battle, and then someone will have to explain to them what happens to gaming abstractions when the game ends. For now, though, she's just going to rest for a minute on Dave's bony shoulder, while he mutters something pointless about modernism. As endings go, she considers, there are certainly far worse alternatives.

Are you kidding me?! This is wonderful! Note-perfect and so incredibly sweet. God, I adore this, and if I played the slightest part in inspiring it I can consider my time well spent.

[Zuki]

Those last two Dave/Rose fics? The birthday timetable pesterlog and the end of the game?

Lovely, just lovely.

[gardenGenosse]

I would say reclusiveAmateur inspired me, but I think that would give a wildly false idea of the following fic's quality. So, yeah, have some unnecessarily genre-savvy Rose and(/?) Dave:

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"So," says Dave, slowly lowering his katana, "that was pretty anticlimactic."

"It's to be expected," says Rose. She's still breathing hard, her heart pounding like the war drums that have just -- finally -- stopped. "With so much dramatic development on the way to the final boss battle, there was no possible way for the whole game to be resolved in a fashion satisfactory to all four of us. It's as though you haven't even read the reviews in GameBro."

"Shut the fuck up, that thing is my bible," Dave replies automatically. He thuds to the ground, next to her. When he doesn't add hyperbole, Rose turns to look at him and sees that he's surveying the plains. She tips down his sunglasses to see that his eyes are red, from dust or just exhaustion. He swats her hand too late.

Behind them John says, "Did you see that? Oh man! Guys! That was better than the end of National Treasure!"

"Strider," Rose says, thoughtfully, "I'm starting to think that our adventure had a protagonist, and we're not it."

He rolls his eyes. "If we were the heroes shit would've gotten done a lot faster."

"This is true," she says. "I'm going to grossly invade your personal space again, I hope you don't mind."

"If I thought you could be stopped I'd have stopped you around when you made me that scarf," Dave mutters, and she leans her head on his shoulder. "Seriously, what were you thinking with that thing. I can't go out in public now. People are going to stop me on the streets."

"No one's going to stop you on the streets," Rose says, drowsily, "because there aren't any streets any more." She thinks about it. "I imagine they could stop you in the streets of Derse."

He's uncharacteristically quiet again, then he says, "I was gonna make a joke about the shithole you live in. But I actually have no idea what shithole you live in."

"Rural New York," she says. "Or the Land of Light and Rain, I suppose. I don't know what your brother's name is."

"I don't know what sweet classical jams written for old people you listen to."

She smiles. "Yes, you do, since you sent me all of it."

"It's true, my stuff is classic," he agrees. He nudges her with his shoulder. "You conking out on me, Lalonde?"

"I wouldn't dare," she says, her eyes drifting closed. "You'd draw a masterpiece in Sharpie on my face."

She can feel him nod. "It'll be like Picasso. You'll have three eyes and six dicks before your dreamself even wakes up."

"Well, I do live to be the canvas for your enduring art," she says, but she stays awake. In a minute John and Jade will come back and tell them what 'sweet loot' they've gotten from the boss battle, and then someone will have to explain to them what happens to gaming abstractions when the game ends. For now, though, she's just going to rest for a minute on Dave's bony shoulder, while he mutters something pointless about modernism. As endings go, she considers, there are certainly far worse alternatives.

This is very good. They have a lot of entertaining chemistry, but you can also feel some of the massive weight they have on their shoulders.

[elrunethe2nd]

I would say reclusiveAmateur inspired me, but I think that would give a wildly false idea of the following fic's quality. So, yeah, have some unnecessarily genre-savvy Rose and(/?) Dave:

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"So," says Dave, slowly lowering his katana, "that was pretty anticlimactic."

"It's to be expected," says Rose. She's still breathing hard, her heart pounding like the war drums that have just -- finally -- stopped. "With so much dramatic development on the way to the final boss battle, there was no possible way for the whole game to be resolved in a fashion satisfactory to all four of us. It's as though you haven't even read the reviews in GameBro."

"Shut the fuck up, that thing is my bible," Dave replies automatically. He thuds to the ground, next to her. When he doesn't add hyperbole, Rose turns to look at him and sees that he's surveying the plains. She tips down his sunglasses to see that his eyes are red, from dust or just exhaustion. He swats her hand too late.

Behind them John says, "Did you see that? Oh man! Guys! That was better than the end of National Treasure!"

"Strider," Rose says, thoughtfully, "I'm starting to think that our adventure had a protagonist, and we're not it."

He rolls his eyes. "If we were the heroes shit would've gotten done a lot faster."

"This is true," she says. "I'm going to grossly invade your personal space again, I hope you don't mind."

"If I thought you could be stopped I'd have stopped you around when you made me that scarf," Dave mutters, and she leans her head on his shoulder. "Seriously, what were you thinking with that thing. I can't go out in public now. People are going to stop me on the streets."

"No one's going to stop you on the streets," Rose says, drowsily, "because there aren't any streets any more." She thinks about it. "I imagine they could stop you in the streets of Derse."

He's uncharacteristically quiet again, then he says, "I was gonna make a joke about the shithole you live in. But I actually have no idea what shithole you live in."

"Rural New York," she says. "Or the Land of Light and Rain, I suppose. I don't know what your brother's name is."

"I don't know what sweet classical jams written for old people you listen to."

She smiles. "Yes, you do, since you sent me all of it."

"It's true, my stuff is classic," he agrees. He nudges her with his shoulder. "You conking out on me, Lalonde?"

"I wouldn't dare," she says, her eyes drifting closed. "You'd draw a masterpiece in Sharpie on my face."

She can feel him nod. "It'll be like Picasso. You'll have three eyes and six dicks before your dreamself even wakes up."

"Well, I do live to be the canvas for your enduring art," she says, but she stays awake. In a minute John and Jade will come back and tell them what 'sweet loot' they've gotten from the boss battle, and then someone will have to explain to them what happens to gaming abstractions when the game ends. For now, though, she's just going to rest for a minute on Dave's bony shoulder, while he mutters something pointless about modernism. As endings go, she considers, there are certainly far worse alternatives.

This is very good. They have a lot of entertaining chemistry, but you can also feel some of the massive weight they have on their shoulders.

Better than National Treasure?!

No, it was good. Although Rose seemed slightly uncharacteristically chatty.

[nextian]

Aww, thanks everyone! @elrunethe2nd, you're right about Rose. I am just a sucker for their sarcasm!

Tune in next time for NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF AWKWARD TEENAGE FLIRTING

[Orion Dezagrats]

So, chapter two of my incredibly poorly-written fan-fiction.
Chapter 1: The Darkness Within

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Chapter 2: Secrecy

It had been three days since the three children had lost Rose. They were all torn up over it, but Dave had it the worst; he was her server--he had interacted with her the most via Pesterchum, and he let her get killed. That notion, that fact stung him deep whenever he thought about it, which was just about every other second.

They two had always had a sort of special bond. No, not love, but not quite something he could replicate with either of his other two friends. John was his bro (in a non-literal sense), and Jade was... well, Jade. And the trolls, who they had befriended seriously now since the temporal trolling phase had passed... well, they just couldn't relate at all to his plight. They were so biologically and culturally different, and none of them had died at all. He could just imagine carcinoGeneticist telling him to suck it up and move on. The guy was kind of an insensitive prick like that.

Dave sighed for the umpteenth time that day, holding the irreparably damaged hubtopband that once belonged to Rose in his hand. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was clinging to the childish, delusional fantasy that Rose was still alive somewhere, and that somehow examining the green telecommunications equipment would provide a crucial clue to finding her. He idly kicked the floor and sent his seat spinning, not caring if he got dizzy. Worst that could happen is that he vomit over one of the lab stations and fuck up their situation worse than letting Rose get killed.

Jade and John, however, were being more productive. They were constantly moving about, moving things and working with the equipment best they could. Jade did most of the technical stuff involving rewiring circuitry or doing the fine-tuning on putting the station back together while John provided occasional ideas and used his ghost gauntlets to do heavy lifting. The lab they had chosen as their headquarters out of all of them in The Veil had the best equipment for their purposes; understanding the exact nature of The Medium. They had long since finished their game, or rather, due to the inherent unwinnable nature of their session due to some time-based blunders (which they had long ago accepted and did not blame Jade for at all), managed to put it in a permanent stalemate, the details of which are too convoluted to explain at this point in the story. Their second goal was figuring out a way to possibly end their daisy-chained session and return to their world, or at the very least figure out how to force a reset, preferably with all their gear and echeladder levels intact.

They hadn't seen Davesprite for a couple days, not since he found them all sobbing uncontrollably, having returned from the other meteors with some equipment from other labs in his wings/arms. It didn't take him long to figure out what the matter was, though it was still surprising he didn't sense it, being a sprite and all. As they had figured out some time ago, it turns out that the sprites didn't have unlimited information stores about the Medium. There were many things even they didn't know, or rather... All their stores were incredibly vague and unspecific, the information each Sprite had being very different from any of the others; they suspected the information unlocked had something to do with what they were prototyped with (Nannaquin knew everything there was to know about baking and kitchen appliances, for example. However, it was debatable about whether or not that information came with her, or from the sprite; she was ancient old lady, after all.)

Reflecting upon recent events, however, John and Jade would converse and conclude that it wasn't just Davesprite missing, all of them had been suspiciously absent for the last two days. They passed this observation on to Dave, but he was silent as usual, a blank expression on what they could see of his face, the ginger-haired Knight of Time once again wearing his shades, not long after his uncharacteristic outburst of raw emotion three days ago having put them back on before skulking off to mourn somewhere more private. The two other children waited for about a minute before turning away and doing their own thing again, though making sure to be far enough away from Dave in the lab that he couldn't hear them conversing quietly as they worked on various things.

"...im worried about him john....."
"so am i, but we've got to keep going.
rose isn't going to come back and we should probably accept that."
"but its so sad!!!
we should try to cheer him up a little!!!!!"
"how are we supposed to cheer him up when we still haven't gotten over it ourselves?"
"...... :("
"aw man don't give me that face,
we need to be strong and get stuff done.
maybe we can still find something conclusive about rose's world if we finish fixing this place up.
or something. i dunno. maybe that'll help snap dave out of it."
"i hope so! its getting a little lonely around here :("
"come on you've still got me to talk to."
"i know but its just not the same without all of us....."
"no it isnt"

The two conversing children jumped, startled before turning around at the sound of Dave's voice, but finding it to be Davesprite instead. While not what they were hoping for, the ethereal orange birdboy was still a welcome sight to behold. Not only that, but Jaspersprite, Nannaquin, and Typharleus (He'll be described in another spoiler.) were all with him.

"dave! you're back!"
"where did you go we missed you!!! :((((((
"Meow! We were fishing! :3"
"fishing? what?"
"For signs, dearies!"
"signs???? :o"
"..." Typharleus always was a bit of a silent guy.
"what are you talking about?"

"weve found clues
that rose might be alive"

John and Jade went silent, frozen in place while trying to process this information, wanting so badly to believe it but conflicted by the evidence they'd found saying otherwise. Though happiness at this turn of events would eventually start to well up, the two fighting back tears of joy.

A grin would tug at Dave's lips and a glint of light would reflect off his shades as he looked to the side at the congregation of sprites and his other two friends, silently listening to what they said. His spriteself's words filtered through his brain like a cure to a disease in his body, clearing out all the doubt and sadness and self-loathing and replacing it with hope and purpose. Rose might be alive. ROSE MIGHT BE ALIVE! Those words echoed in his mind like a clocktower bell ringing loudly in town to signal that it was now noon; it was time to get shit done.

The Knight of Time clutched the broken hubtopband tightly in his hands, his skin going pale from the strength of his grip as pushed off from the chair and stood up. Looking down at the band, he would resolve that he would find Rose and bring her back. No matter what got in his way. Clearing his throat, he would say loudly, voice full of conviction:

"tell us what do we have to do to get her back"

>.>; I'll link to Chapter 1 later. My nanna's here and I want to say 'hi' :3
EDIT: P.S. I think it feels a little cliche towards the end there D:
EDIT2: Updated the colours. Should be less of an eyesore and more accurate now. :V
Also, added link to chapter 1.

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Typharleus: A giant, green, grotesque sprite that had been prototyped with the stuffed Typheus in Jade's home and Grandpa Harley--or rather, the stupid, dumb fake stuffed plush of Grandpa Harley that used to stand by the fireplace in Jade's home. It had turned out that the wily old man put it there in his place while he went to go hunt in the Medium some time ago, accessing the early parts of the childrens' session with Bec's help some time in Jade's past. She never did figure out how she was fooled so easily. The other suspect that it was simply her incredibly astounding, absurd levels of naivete.

Typharleus, for the most part, looks a lot like Grandpa Harley, complete with explorer's outfit and hat, along with a blunderbuss that would hover at his side. However, his face was decidedly more monstrous, slitted eyes peered through the square glasses, and any time he spoke his incredibly carnivorous teeth would show. Two rows, and far too much like a shark for the childrens' comfort. Also he has no arms or hair, though he could form the former whenever he wished, since the sprites aren't completely bound to one form. He's kind of creepy.

[Gabu]

What are you talking about? I'm loving your story a lot! The only thing that bothers me is conversations being in pesterlog/spritelog colors. It just gets hard on the eyes, sometimes. But other than that, amazing work!

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Distortion: Chapter 6

It had gotten late, and Bro had offered his place for his brother's friends to sleep in since the incident, because ‘it just ain't cool not to'. It was about noon when Dave initially woke up, and about six before doctors gave an official diagnosis of prosopamnesia as well as a significant amount of short-term memory loss, evidenced through several tests. It caused his friends to want to stay for his sake for an extra couple of days. Their professors were jerks, however.

“Dammit!” John closed his cell phone. “I almost had all my professors give me some extra time off!” he sighed. “I can't leave my bro like this.”

“True, John. Professors are idiots. I guess that since Dave isn't a near and dear friend to them that they simply don't understand the need for even an extra day or two off.” She scoffed. “It's not like this is a run-of-the-mill type amnesia that has the ability to be resolved in a very short time period, but it's not like I'm making up new words just so I can “goof off” some more either.” She facepalmed.

John had an idea. “Hey, Jade. Bec transportalized you here, correct?”

“Yep! He does when I ask him politely enough!”

“Could you ask him if he wouldn't mind transportalizing one of us down here for the weekend? Not all of us at once, but maybe one of us a weekend?”

“I could try! And I'm sure he'll have no problem with it!”

“I bet ya guys want to stay wit me for the weekends?” Bro asked. “Cuz dat ain't a problem, and I'mma make Dave stay wit' me until dis resolves. I can still kick his ass in fights, so if he refuses, I can make ‘im.”

John smiled. “I guess it's agreed then.” He felt kind of stupid for not thinking of that before.

“But the chances of Dave actually being able to fully recover from this is laughably low! Guys, I know it's beneficial for one to be optimistic, but at this point we can't just handwave this!”

“We're not handwaving, Rose.” Jade said. “But maybe if Dave notices that we're confident in him, he might get better. I don't know, Rose, but I'm not sure what would happen if we just handwaved him!”

“Jade has a point.” John agreed.

“I don't know… Dave is almost dickishly stubborn and proud.”

“Hey, my bro's cool!” Bro gritted.

---

Dave had enough with this matching game, and decided to simply use a brute force method to end it already. It was only 4 pairs of cards, and he saw what they were before the goddamn doctor flipped them over, but so far he only got one pair, and out of pure luck. It was causing one of those “This is stupid” headache, made worse when he was forced to repeat the memory match. The cards weren't even reshuffled, but Dave knew it wouldn't have made a difference.

“Now, Dave, try to remember which cards match, instead of just blindly guessing.”

Dave spat out poisonous words to the doctor, but very begrudgingly complied for about two minutes, in which case frustration won over and he went back to his method. He managed to get one from memory, but ultimately flipped the fuck out when he couldn't remember any more. Dave didn't even notice the other doctor enter with a needle and other supplies in hand.

---

“I think they're doing something to him, now, but I'll let you all through.”

The four uttered their thanks and walked down the hallway where Dave's new bedroom was at, out of the ICU. They got right to his door when they heard him scream.

“Just several more seconds, Dave, and it'll be over.”

“I HATE FUCKING NEEDLES!”

The four decided it would be best to stand outside until given the okay to. When they were, Dave was flat on his back, clutching the sides of the bed.

John gaped. “Woah. What'd they do, bro?”

“They stuck a fucking needle in my fucking back, bro! Thought the scream woulda signaled somethin' goin' in somethin'!” It was official. Dave Strider was pissed beyond pissed, a temper tinderbox ready to explode.

John continued. “We finally set something up so that one of us could see you over weekends.”

“John?”

“Yeah, that's me.”

“You live all the way in white-ass Washington or something!”

“We're gonna use my dog to get us here!”

“We've decided on a round-robin visiting scheme. John will take the first weekend, me second, and Jade will take third.”

“And I'm interested in dis shit WHY?”

John treaded as lightly as he could. “We want to help you in any way that may be of benefit. Uh… if you don't want us, that's okay.”

“Nah, man. I never said nothin' about not wantin' you guys down here. Dat's why I wanted you guys… down here?” Dave looked confused.

“You invited us down here for the week of Spring Break, but it didn't exactly turn out right.”

“Ah. Right. Sorry about all dis, man.”

“It's cool, Dave. It could've been much worse if we weren't here.” John paused. “But then again, not.”

Bro bluntly butted in. “Bro, man, lissen. I'mma not gonna care whatchu gonna say, but you're livin' wit' me until dis blows over like the e…”

“No. God, no. I'm not going back to that apartment filled to the fucking ceiling with goddamn smuppets!”

“The smuppets are cool, bro. You sayin' that they're not?”

“That's exactly it!” Dave growled.

“Dude, not cool!”

“Fuck you!”

“Dick! What'd I ever do?”

“You were an asshole! Mom and dad always let you do shit to me!”

“Dude, dad died and ma left to be some skank. Not necessarily at the same time, bu…”

“Bullshit!” Dave sat up, forgetting the fact he had a spinal tap earlier.

“Nah, man, it's true! They didn't do nothin' for us together!”

“Get the fuck out of here! Get out!”

“Fine, bro!” Bro stormed out. “Yo' still movin' in, man! I ain't trustin' ya t' be able to live on yo' own!”

“Fucker!”

It was a very long, very tense silence. “He IS trying to protect the very last thread of any immediate family and kinsmanship he has.”

Dave gave one of his most dirty glances. “Shut up.”

“Hey, stop being such a dick, Dave! Rose is right. Your brother just wants to make sure you don't kill yourself like a retard somehow.”

“Piss off, John!”

Bro could hear outside the room the bitter, heated argument, laden with insults and swears, most of them coming from Dave. The quiet, cheerful one made a plea for peace. He then heard someone get knocked down, and then more squabbling.

“Insufferable prick!”

“Get outta here, dick!”

The arguing lowered to utterances of bitter words to opposing parties and finally, silence, when the three finally left, all with varying degrees of perturbance, John easily being the most ticked.

“Your brother's an asshat, and that's all I'm gonna say.”

Somehow, Bro could not help but agree.

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I have the next few chapters already written out, but I'm thinking of taking a break now in order to focus on school and my job interview and comics and junk so I don't fail at any of those. I think I'm starting to obsess over making this and I'm beginning to sense some sort of stupid cancer coming from this. But who knows? High expectations + real shitty fics years before and not wanting to repeat same degree of stupid = unconsciously driving fic in that direction, and I don't want that to happen.

[sarasvati]

HOLY CRAP I AM SO FAR BEHIND. I pop out for awhile and come back to such a ridiculous backlog. I love it.

Working backwards!:

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Gabu: Poor Dave. You just want to hug him, even when he is being a colossal douche.

Orion: I thought the first installment ended it on the proper poignant note (I am a sucker for tragedy), but I won't complain about getting more!

nextian: OH GOD SO CUTE. I'm not a huge Dave/Rose shipper, but that was just delightfully well-done, all full of awkward teenage-flirting and their cute hate-is-love chemistry.

Valter: Oh god I love it. The only thing better than Dave is Dave and Davesprite playing off of each other. (wow that sounds pornographic.) I'm really enjoying your main story, too, especially your style; you've got a way of leading the reader along a new place with new characters in a new situation without overloading on the expositional details.

RA: I saw your rule 63 fic over in the romart thread and almost popped in to ask WHY ISN'T THIS IN THE FANFICTION THREAD BLAUGHARGALGUHR. But I didn't have to! I'm glad to see it over here, because your stuff is really fabulous. Please write and post more!

I-Gor: I love the troll logs! The trolls are strangely adorable in their dysfunctional douchery. As always, looking forward to more!

Shaon: DUN DUN DUNNN. I loved the reveal, and I especially love the mythology getting woven into the story. Can't wait for the next installment!

Did I miss any? I hope I didn't miss any.

[Orion Dezagrats]

I thought the first installment ended it on the proper poignant note (I am a sucker for tragedy), but I won't complain about getting more!

Well, don't count your blessings just yet. It'll only be going downhill from here. Steeply downhill.

[sarasvati]

oh fuck nightmare fuel.

I love nightmare fuel. I drink it for energy.

[Tenebrais]

House Party, chapter 14! Read it before it gets cold.

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John and Jade returned, eventually. They must have wandered far to not hear my calls for help earlier; that or they were making a lot of noise somewhere.
“So what were you two up to?” I asked.
“Just chatting,” Jade said, airily. “What about you?”
“I fainted,” Dave said. This came as a surprise to everyone, including me – I didn't expect him to admit it.
“Oh gosh! Are you okay!?” Jade instantly knelt by the sofa he was still lying on.
“What happened?” John asked.
“I'll explain later,” Dave replied. “Actually... Jade, I wanna talk to you about this.” He looked up at John and me. “Do you two mind?”
“Alright,” I said, dragging John back outside. I stopped once we were out of earshot of Jade and Dave.
“What-“ John started.
“He just wants her to give him attention,” I interrupted. “You know how she admires him.”
“No, what were you talking about with her earlier?”
“Oh. I probably shouldn't tell you that. Why?”
“She was acting weird just now. Like she was watching everything I was doing.”
“Ah, I told her that you would probably be the best role model for being normal.”
John gave a sort of nervous laugh. “Really? You think so?”
“Yeah. Better than me or Dave, at any rate.” He smiled contentedly at this.

We stood in silence for a moment, looking out over the garden. Jaspers' mausoleum was visible some way down, but the rest of the space was very empty. Mother was very adamant about not putting any fixture in the garden that might have kept me entertained as a young child. John really should feel luckier about having the father he does – I've seen pictures of his garden, and it is exactly the sort of space I always wished I had had. Mr Egbert had even managed to acquire a pogo ride themed to John's specific tastes, which cannot have been easy. I envy him.
“Rose? Are you listening?” John's voice registered to me.
“Hm? Sorry, I was lost in thought.”
“I said we heard you calling earlier, and Jade said to stay here.”
“Huh. That doesn't seem much like her. I suppose she had her reasons.”
“What kind of reason would she have? I mean, I did what she said, ‘cause I didn't really know what else to do, but...”
“She must have known this would happen. I guess it was for the best?”
“You're not making sense, Rose. You can't see the future.”
I sighed. Despite his obsessive interest in the paranormal, and the fact that he seems to click with Jade better than anyone, he is completely oblivious to her ability to see things that have yet to occur. She doesn't even try to hide it.

The next minute or so was something of a blur. I knew John was talking to me, and I think I was responding, but I couldn't focus. Everything seemed somewhat dreamlike, as though the world around me wasn't quite real. Then a piercing headache – more severe than any I had had before. Every sense I had was screeching at me, and I felt that my soul were being torn from my mind by one of the fouler servants of the Outer Ring. I faintly heard John shouting before my mind's eye lost all connection with reality.

Flashes came to me. A pastel-colored ocean bathed in light. A violet city, swarming with dark agents. A laboratory on an asteroid. A chequered battleground, like some kind of lifelike chessboard. A ghostly apparition of Jaspers, who for some reason had tentacles. John. Dave. Jade. Finally, I saw a darkened room. My consciousness hung here for a moment, as though I were really there. I saw children – well, about our size, but they had grey skin and orange horns. Just for a moment, I thought I saw my mother, before I awoke in reality once again.

I'm trying to draw this to a close so I can get into Twelve Trolls. I foresee one, maybe two more chapters of this left.

Chapter 15

[dragonpaul99]

Tenebrais never fails to deliver excellent stories.

[Aerok12]

Okay, so I'm not a writer. I'm just really bored. I just did this quick thing. Don't expect much from it.

Prologue

Alandoned: Chapter One

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darkness
voices
unintelligible
i open my eyes
heavy
dark
figures
lights
cries
coming closer
"Whuh?"
"I think he's waking up!"
"Marc, honey?
i can almost make them out
too blurry
three tall ones
two short
"Marc?"
"Whuh habah?
"You fell down some stairs on your way out.
"I warned you about stairs, man.
"I told you, bro."
memories
flooding back
sneaking
tripping
darkness
"Are you okay?"
"I think so."
A hug envelopes my body.
I look around.
I'm in a hospital room.
"How long was I out?"
"About a week and a half.
"I was worried about you.
"But I suppose it was a good thing you almost killed yourself.
"A huge meteor came down and blew up our houses."
"Oh no!"
"Don't worry, everyone got out.
"We were here when it struck."
"Oh.
"Okay.
"I'm sorry I scared you.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
A kiss.



-- forgetfulHistorian [FH] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 18:08 --

FH:Hey
FH:You
DS:What's up?
FH:Be careful
FH:On the stairs
DS:Um, okay?
FH:I'm serious
FH:I had a dream
FH:I just woke up
FH:Just be careful
FH:Please
DS:Yeah, sure.
DS:Whatever you say.
FH:Please

-- forgetfulHistorian [FH] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 18:12 --

Well, that was weird. But you should probably listen to her. She has, like, psychic powers, or something.

You head downstairs. You notice a nail polish container on the top stair. You could have slipped on that if you weren't careful. You captchalogue it so nobody else will step on it, and carefully walk down. You slowly open the door, and, thankfully, see nobody there.
"Grandma!"
"Shouldn't you be in your room?"
"Yeah, but I noticed you didn't get the mail yet. I was going to go get it for you."
"Oh, well, alright."
You go outside, glancing next door, and make your way over to the mailbox. When you open it, you find a bunch of letters, the Sburb cases, an orange box, and a blue box.
You head back inside, setting the cases and boxes on the staircase, and bringing the mail to the kitchen counter. You tell your Grandma that the mail is on the counter, and go back upstairs, grabbing your mail on the way up. Back inside your room, you set them on your bed, get the laptop out, and start installing Sburb.

-- doubtfulStrongman [DS] began pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 18:25 --

DS:Okay, I'm downloading the Sburb server disk.
DS:You should start with the client.
RE:way ahed of you
DS:You already downloaded it?
RE:hel yeah
RE:i wsn't gona wait
RE:4 you 2 finsh
DS:Yeah, that makes sense.
DS:Okay, it's done.
DS:I'm connecting with you now.
RE:alriht
RE:can yu se me?
DS:Yeah, I see you
DS:in your sister's room.
RE:yeh yeah
DS:Okay I'm going to start experimenting.
DSon't be afraid if something starts moving around.

-- doubtfulStrongman [DS] ceased pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 18:31 --

You look at your screen. On it is Nate, surrounded by pink walls and stuffed animals. You cautiously place your house-shaped cursor over an elephant, and click. Nothing happens. You instead try to drag it. It easily flies through the air, as fast as your mouse can go. You carefully set it down, before something breaks.

[font=courier][b]-- randomEngineer [RE] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 18:33 --

RE:dude
RE:hury up
DS:I'm just trying to get used to the controls, okay?
RE:wy do't you
RE:lik
RE:mak somthin
DS:Alright, alright.
DS:Settle down.
DS:Let's see here.
DS:There's a whole bunch of things to choose from.
DS:There's a Cruxtruder,
DS:a Totem Lathe,
DS:an Alchemiter,
DS:a Punch Designix,
DS:and a card with what looks like an orange car on it.
DS:What do you think I should do first?
RE:just
RE:do watevr
RE:you thik yu shold do
DS:Well, the Cruxtruder is the first thing on the list,
DS:so I guess I'll do that first.
DS:Wow this thing is big.
DS:I had to put it in the living room.
DS:Is that okay?
RE:yeh
RE:it's fin
RE:i'll just go ovr ther
RE:wow ths thin is big
DS:That's what I said!
[color=#FF8000]RE:wel
RE:wat do e do wih it?
DS:I don't know.
DS:Try turning that crank thing.
DS:Hang on.
DS:EG's pestering me.


-- excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 18:51 --

EG:mrc
EG:sbrb is lded
EGly w/ me
EG:nw
EG:
DS:Relax, EG.
DS:I'll play Sburb with you.
DS:First, let me finish with Nate.
EG:i c
EG:u dnt cre bot me
EG:
DS:Alright, fine.
DS:I'll play.
DS:I'm downloading my client disk now.
EG:yay
EG:
DS:Okay, I'm connecting with you.
DSan you see me?
EG:y
EG:i lk ur rm
EG:sprty
EG:
DS:Uh, thanks
DS:Woah, what are you doing?
EG:im tring
EG:im jst a grl
EG:wy u gta b so mn
EG:
DS:No, it's okay.
DS:Just incredibly expensive figurines.
DS:Nothing too important.
EG
EG:im sry
EG:dd i hrt ur flins
EG:
DS:No, no,
DS:it's fine,
DS:really.
DS:Now, since you already moved my bed,
DS:I guess you can place the Cruxtruder there.
EGk
EG:thr it is
EG:
DS:Wait, hang on, Nate's pestering me.
EG:aw
EG:

REky
RE:i hit it
RE:wit a matal ple
RE:and nw its opn
RE:wht te fck is this ting?
DS:It looks like a glowy orange spirogram.
DS:Also EG connected with me.
RE:yeah
RE:exelnt
RE:tht totly perains 2 teh curent stuaton
DS:I just wanted to let you know.
DS:Sheesh.
REka
RE:whtevr
RE:wht do we do now?
DS:I guess we could deploy some more things.
DS:It looks like there's room in here for everything.
DS:I'll just move everything off to the side.
DS:Oops.
DS:Sorry.
RE:you jst brke ar tv
RE:wy 2 go
DS:Well, at least there's more room now.
DS:Here, I'm deploying the Totem Lathe.
REkay
RE:wada we do wth ths?
DS:I dunno.
DS:I'll set out the other things.
DS:Maybe they're meant to work together.
DS:Wait, hang on, I just remembered something.

[color=#37B727]DS:Hey, EG,
DS:I forgot to tell you,
DSon't put anything downstairs.
EG:2 l8
EG:dn & dn
EG: :3
DSarn it.
DSan you move them back up?
EG:sry
EG:nt nuf bld grst
DSamn it.

RE:hy
RE:i thnk
RE:i fgured out
RE:how thse wrk
DS:How?
RE:you lok at the capcha cod
RE:at te bak of yor catha crd
REut th cde inth desinx
RE:tke the punhed card
REut it in th lath
RE:alng wth a ttem
RE:the big clindr
RE:tht cam out of teh crxtudr
RE:tak he crved totm
REt it in the alkemier
RE:an it mks thins
DS:What kind of things?
RE:th thng
REn thfrnt
REf the crd you usd
DS:Oh, okay.
DS:So it just makes duplicates?
DS:Seems kind of,
DS:useless.
RE:wll
RE:you cn snd thngd
RE:2 othr pople
RE:jst giv tem the cde
DS:Oh, well that might actually be useful.
REu can alo combne thns
RErbly
DS:Probably?
RE:i hvn't tstd it yt
RE:but i do hve let prgrmin sklz
RE:and ths is pogrmig stfu
RE:i men stuff
RE:do't sht up
DS:Well, test it!
DS:We don't have all day!
DS:Also, what's with that timer on the Cruxtruder?
RE:i hv no ide
DS:Wait, what about that card?
DS:You should make that.
RE:kay

EG:wt d w d w/ al ths stf
DS:Nate told me what to do with them.
DS:Wait, what's this other stuff?
EG:?
DS:There's some different things here.
DS:Huh.
DS:Wait, this card has a baseball, not a car.
DS:And it's green.
DS:Weird.
EG:wts wrd
DS:Nothing.
EG:u nvr tl me nethng
EG:

DS:Hey, did you make that car yet?
DS:You there?
DS:Please answer me.
DS:Oh god.

DS:EG!
DS:Nate's house is gone!
EG:wt
EG:
DS:Wait
DS:Oh my god
DS:He's pestering me now!
DS:What do I do?!
EG:nser!

RE:dde
RE:wer am i?
DS:Oh my god!
DS:Honey, are you okay?
RE:yeh
RE:im fie
DS:Oh thank god
DS:I thought you died!
RE:wy wold you thik tht?
DS:Um
DS:Your house is gone!
RE:wat?
DS:Look outside.
DS:What do you see?
RE:i se
RE:pwr plnts
RE:wirs
RE:armis
RE:mrchin arond
DS:What happened with that car?
RE:it ws'nt a car
RE:it was a robt
RE:i jst cut sme wres
RE:nw im hre
RE:th glwy thng dsaperd
RE:wait
RE:thr ar thngs flyng arond
RE:on of tems cmin 2 me
RE:is difrnt thn th oters tho
RE:loks lke a hman
RE:wth a cndy crn antena
RE:an gogles
DS:Be careful.
DS:It might be hostile.
RE:it wved 2 me
RE:it loks
RE:trnslusent
RE:lik a gost
RE:it sas hi
RE:sas its nam is acompanid ovrlrd
RE:says that sa hlpd hm in
RE:sas im in th mdium
DS:The medium?
RE:ya
RE:he gve me a cde
RE:sid to mke it
DS:Don't
DS:It might be dangerous.
RE:he say i ned it
RE:4 mgicl imps
DS:Imps?
RE:mnstrs
RE:al ovr th plce
RE:flyng
RE:im gna mk it nw
DS:Okay
DS:But be careful.
RE:yah yeh
RE:i knw
RE:oh he
RE:lok at tht
DS:What?
RE:a tser
RE:loks prty col
RE:im gona tst it out
RE:col
RE:wrks grt
RE:betr thn my old one
RE:he sas hes gona go bak to his plnet
DS:Which one is it?
RE:he sas evry one in th medum gts ther own plnt
RE:spkin of wich
RE:ar yo gona com?
DS:Where?
RE:th mdium
RE:sily
RE:jst mke yr crxite itm
RE:and do smthin 2 it
DS:You mean this baseball?
DS:What do I do?
DS:Hit it?
RE:sure
DS:Okay
DS:I'm making it now.
DS:Woah
RE:i know riht?
DS:This place.
DS:It's,
DS:Wow
RE:wat dus it lok lik?
DS:It's like,
DS:The ground
DS:is moving.
RE:weird
RE:hy wrd yur glwy thn go?
DS:Um,
DS:I think it disappeared.
DS:Like yours.
RE:o wait
RE:he tld me 2 snd yo ths cde
RE:6REei5v1
DS:What is it?
RE:i dno
RE:jst mke it
DS:Okay
DS:It's a bat.
DS:Just like my regular bat.
DS:Maybe lighter.
RE:he sad its mgic
DS:Magic?
DS:Really?
RE:wll not rely magc
RE:som siency thing
DS:Okay.
DS:What do we do now?
RE:fiht mps
DS:Alright.
DS:Let's do this, man.
RE:lts mke it hpen

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I know I'm not a writer, and this changed writing style halfway through, and there are probably numerous inconsistencies, and it's altogether terrible, but I'm tired, and I wrote this in, like, an hour. I might continue it eventually, if anyone cares. I'm mostly just doing this for the three people in the Trollslum thread that actually care, and want to know about the characters. Whatever.
EDIT:I looked over it, and I feel awful for posting this, in the shadows of such great writers here. I am ashamed.

Ch.2

[Valter]

Catalyst!

Catalyst Chapter 4 (four real, this time )

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Day 32:

The latest in affronts against nature have been sighted roaming the battlefield. The royal guard settled upon calling them "behemoths". They're even bigger than the abominations, far more muscular, and every one comes with a pair of giant horns.

They are also, as the first guards to encounter them found out, extremely ornery.

It's odd to see the Veil making a successful attempt at a new strain of killing machine. These ones may actually pose a threat to the soldiers among us who haven't put in enough combat time, unlike those pesky jackals. They're as dumb as a very large sack of especially stupid rocks, though, and on a more disturbing note they no longer have the ability to restrain themselves from collateral damage. Even in the lowest depths of combat fury, the jackals and abominations make a conscious effort to avoid injuring like-colored combatan-

TA looked over what he had written in shock. He wrote with the hope of having some form of memorabilia to look upon when (if) he escaped the war. It served no practical purpose, and yet in his writing a missing link had finally shown itself and connected all the peculiar events of his expedition seven days prior. He had known that his newest guest would be important the moment he first laid eyes on him. Now he finally knew why. How had he missed this for seven full days?

The tablet on which he had been writing could wait for now; a much more important task had suddenly revealed itself. TA called the guard detailed to the defense of his office inside. It was a silly duty, considering that TA was a more capable fighter than any member of the guard (much to the guard captain's chagrin), but it came in useful when TA needed odd-jobs done.

"I need a favor done, Sledge."

"What's the problem, sir?" Sledge was a thin, intelligent fellow, the latter being the primary reason for his unofficial job as TA's courier. He had been posted in front of TA's office for two weeks, now, and TA could not for the life of him determine how he had come to be known as "Sledge". The titles passed around by the royal guard were mystifying even to TA on occasions.

"Where is Birch right now? I have decided upon his first full mission with the guard." The new guest had been named "Birch" by the guard captain, for his vegetarianism and pale carapace. The guards made constant fun of his eating choices, but the guest didn't seem to mind much, so TA had decided that intervention in this case was unnecessary.

"Ah, Captain decided to take him out on a scouting trip earlier today to show him the ropes, sir. They've been gone for a while now, though. Shouldn't be more than a few minutes longer."

The delay would be irritating, but TA was not worried. He had built his reputation on patience. "Very well. Message me again as soon as he returns."

"On it, sir." Sledge left the office and returned to his dreary patrol of the corridors outside TA's office. TA returned his attention to the parchment in front of him. He supposed he would have time to finish it after all.

-batants. The behemoth rips through everything, though, once it sees an opponent. One of the guards learned this the hard way when he ended up between a black behemoth and several white jackals; he has been in the hospital for the last three days, although the medics assure me that there is only a distant chance of death at this point, thank the Veil. We need every man we can get at this point.

Training detail will have to be increased for the next few days. The guards will complain, but they know it's good for them. The medics and engineers present a greater worry. They're tough sorts, but they require seclusion and specifically not hulking combatants bursting through walls into their working space. Another architectural redesign of the palace would appear to be in order. This next week is going to be a nightmare.

TA scratched a signature into a corner of the parchment, and stored it in one of the drawers of his desk with his other logs. The desk was a masterpiece, and the engineer tasked with its creation had rightfully earned a promotion for it. The size was perfect for the room it stayed in, and all the drawers and pockets were arranged to maximize holding space while still leaving him room to stretch his legs beneath. If he didn't have his desk with him, he'd probab-

"Sir! They're back."

"Ah! uh. Send for him and the Captain, if you will." TA reluctantly settled back into a more serious state of mind.

"Yes sir. And if I may ask... what do you need Birch for?"

"You need gossip to share with your cronies, is that it?"

"The very insinuation that I would pass along such important knowledge is deeply offending, sir."

"Hmph! Well, I suppose the truth won't stay under wraps for long anyway, and there's no particular harm in you or for that matter the rest of the guard knowing." TA cleared his throat, and continued, "I have reason to believe that, whether by accident or design, the Veil has successfully crossed the two sides of this conflict together. We may have our hands on the first and only Prospit-Derse hybrid."

@Aerok: there is no room for shame on this forum!
Fame, sure.
Glory
Perfection
LITERATURE

no shame, though.

(I do have a recommendation: I think third-person narrative would work better for what you're trying to do. I realize it came from a forum adventure, but word repetition can become a problem in longer narratives. Using second-person, the only word available for referring to the protagonist is "you", while in third-person you can refer to him by first name, last name, pronouns like "he", etc. It keeps the vocabulary from getting stale.)

[I-gor]

I'm liking all this new stuff. Why are you guys all so awesome?

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That's the best question anyone ever asked.

dysfunctional douchery

Best description for these things I've ever heard.

Troll Log III Part 2

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carcinoGeneticist [CG] has sent the file "eL cID cONQUERS tHE dOÑA aUXILIATRIX.tXT" to adiosToreador [AT] and grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
carcinoGeneticist: SEE?
adiosToreador: wHY THAT ONE?
grimAuxiliatrix: What Is This Mess?
adiosToreador: nOW YOU ARE BREAKING THE PAST TOO?
carcinoGeneticist: SELECTED PERFECTLY RANDOMLY
twinArmageddons: stop stop you are all fucking u2 over fa2ter now
ectoBiologist: ooh what does it say
ectoBiologist: what does it say
carcinoGeneticist: SORRY TA
twinArmageddons: waiit why iis thii2 other person on here
carcinoGeneticist: I AM TEMPORALLY OBLIGATED TO DO THIS
twinArmageddons: who ii2 he
ectoBiologist: i'm john
grimAuxiliatrix: Excuse Me.
twinArmageddons: one of the human2?
grimAuxiliatrix: I Have A Certain Idiot To Jettison From This Godforsaken Space Rock We Call Home.
ectoBiologist: yeah
twinArmageddons: why iis one of the human2 on your iinchat
carcinoGeneticist: LONG STORY
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is an Idle Chum
twinArmageddons: hmmm
twinArmageddons: maybe you should
twinArmageddons: tell hiim
twinArmageddons: to get off maybe?
ectoBiologist: aww
adiosToreador: wHAT DID HE DO?
ectoBiologist: i didn't do anything
twinArmageddons: arent you beiing tea2ed by the other2?
adiosToreador: wELL KINDA
twinArmageddons: 2o why would you let hiim on one of your priivate chat2?
carcinoGeneticist: THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
carcinoGeneticist: JUST TO KIND OF SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTU
carcinoGeneticist: WHERE'D GA GO?
gallowsCalibrator: PROB4BY B34T1NG UP 4T
carcinoGeneticist: OH
gallowsCalibrator: TH1CK, MUCH
gallowsCalibrator: D1DNT SH3 JUST S4Y TH4T, TOO?
twinArmageddons: ii thiink she diid
carcinoGeneticist: I DON'T KNOW
carcinoGeneticist: I HAD TO TALK TO GC FOR A SECOND
ectoBiologist: oh
ectoBiologist: why?
carcinoGeneticist: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
gallowsCalibrator: P3RH4PS SOM3TH1NG 1NT3R3ST1NG?
gallowsCalibrator: TH4T 1 COULD TR4D3 1NFO FOR?
gallowsCalibrator: W41T 4R3 YOU FURTH3R TH4N M3?
carcinoGeneticist: WHEN ARE YOU?
gallowsCalibrator: 1 C4N H4RDLY K33P TR4CK
grimAuxiliatrix: ALL RIGHT
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS DONE NOW
twinArmageddons: what why are you typiing like that?
grimAuxiliatrix: THIS IS CG
adiosToreador: dEJA VU
grimAuxiliatrix: GA IS GOING PSYCHO FOR SOME REASON
twinArmageddons: what oh now you are doiing thi2 on purpos2
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO NOW?
carcinoGeneticist: NO, I REMEMBER DOING THIS
twinArmageddons: tryiing to confuse me out of here
grimAuxiliatrix: WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
twinArmageddons: that2 what you are all tryiing to do to me
adiosToreador: bUT WHY
grimAuxiliatrix: GA'S BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF AT RIGHT NOW
twinArmageddons: whiich tiime?
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHICH TIME?
twinArmageddons: there were 2everal
ectoBiologist: several?
ectoBiologist: this is just getting better and better
adiosToreador: sEVERAL TIMES
gallowsCalibrator: PLUS TH3 T1M3S 1 B34T H1M UP
grimAuxiliatrix: SHE'S GOT HIM PINNED DOWN
grimAuxiliatrix: WAIT
grimAuxiliatrix: IS THAT A CROWBAR?
grimAuxiliatrix: OOH
grimAuxiliatrix: THAT'S GOT TO HURT
grimAuxiliatrix: A LOT.
twinArmageddons: iis thiis a new sport you iinvented?
twinArmageddons: 2ee who can hurt your friiend the most
carcinoGeneticist: SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA
adiosToreador: ow ow ow i STILL CAN FEEL THE SCARS
grimAuxiliatrix: FROM WHAT?
grimAuxiliatrix: ANYWAY YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS NOW
gallowsCalibrator: PROB4BLY FROM M4SS1VE BR41N D4M4G3
carcinoGeneticist: THAT'S JUST AT BEING AT
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 H3 D1DNT H4V3 3NOUGH
grimAuxiliatrix: SHE'S SHOUTING SOMETHING ABOUT "KEEPING THOSE STUPID LOGS ANYWAY"
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO?
gallowsCalibrator: LONG STORY
grimAuxiliatrix: WELL, WHATEVER
twinArmageddons: long 2tory 2hort they are fuckiing around wiith them2elve2
carcinoGeneticist: SOUNDS A LOT LIKE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE
carcinoGeneticist: IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
twinArmageddons: and helpiing my workload gaiin weiight
grimAuxiliatrix: OH WOULDN'T THAT BE INTERESTING TO SEE
twinArmageddons: ii have to fiiddle wiith another termiinal riight now to keep the whole place from 2huttiing down
ectoBiologist: shutting down?
gallowsCalibrator: CRY M3 4 R1V3R
grimAuxiliatrix: OK, WHAT IS THIS?
twinArmageddons: they are taxiing the power iin here
grimAuxiliatrix: I'M OPENING THIS TEXT DOCUMENT SHE HAD MINIMIZED
grimAuxiliatrix: AT, YOU DIRTY BASTARD
gallowsCalibrator: WOULDNT H4V3 SUGG3ST3D 1T
twinArmageddons: ii can only iimagiine, and ii dont want to
carcinoGeneticist: WIMP
twinArmageddons: wiimp
twinArmageddons: more liike unzombiifiied
carcinoGeneticist: YEAH, YEAH
carcinoGeneticist: GO BACK AND WORK ON THOSE COMPUTERS SOME MORE
grimAuxiliatrix: OK, THIS
twinArmageddons: ii am
twinArmageddons: ii cant stop
grimAuxiliatrix: I'M TORN BETWEEN CONGRATULATING AT ON HIS "SUCCESS" AND CURIOSITY ON HOW THIS ACTUALLY MANAGED TO TAKE PLACE BETWEEN THOSE TWO
grimAuxiliatrix: ESPECIALLY SINCE GA HAS AT IN A CHOKE HOLD RIGHT NOW
gallowsCalibrator: LOV3 MOV3S 1N MYST3R1OUS WAYS?
twinArmageddons: more liike confu2iion befalls those who 2eek iit
ectoBiologist: maybe
twinArmageddons: not really that metaphor made liittle 2en2e
ectoBiologist: any luck with that hate date yet cg?
carcinoGeneticist: WHAT
carcinoGeneticist: NO
carcinoGeneticist: SHUT UP

[okniwy]

Little bit of supplimentary text to those awesome highway pictures in the fan art thread, which are totally based on Yugioh 5D's.

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John: “When an eerie chill in the air turns the Breath blue, who ya gonna call? The gogdanm Ghost Buster! Alchemize! _______!”
Rose: “The Light appears to have assumed an almost sinister velvet; perhaps it's best left uninhibited. Alchemize. _______.”
Dave: "Time is burning a flamingly homoerotic red, but what's about to happen is too cool for that shit. Alchemize! _______!”
Jade: “Yay! Everything is growing; the Space has become happy and green! Let's make it even better! Alchemize! _______!”

Pardon the lack of typing quirks.

[Aerok12]

Okay, so I wrote a second one. Hopefully it wont be as long. @Valter:Thanks, I used that!

Ch. 1

Alandoned: Chapter 2

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A 17-year old dragoness sits in her room, eyes upon her monitor. What is her name?

>Patricia Adelind

Patty Adelind. Her room, decorated in gothic apparel and satanic texts, directly opposes her parents' devout christian values. But she doesn't care. In fact, Pat loves to see them squirm and twitch whenever they enter her room. Simply delightful. Of course, her attention is not directed towards her parents' potential discomfort. Instead, it is at her computer, the monitor of which showing her friend, Marcus, in his room.
She spies him playing with his silly baseball dolls. Typical. He throws it over his shoulder.
FLASH
The monitor flared white, as Pat stared, wide-eyed, at it. After the glare subsided, she found to her shock that there was a floating, green, one-legged figure looming behind Marc.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 18:51

EG:mrc!
EG:lk ot!
EG:zmbi!

Marc turned around to find his A-Rod figurine had reappeared, as some sort of green, ghost-like person.

DS:No
DS:That's not a zombie.
DS:I don't know what it is,
DS:but it is certainly not a zombie.

doubtfulStrongman [DS] began pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 18:51

DS:Hey, Nate.
DS:You should see this.
RE:wat?
DS:Pat broke one of my baseball figurines.
DS:A-Rod.
DS:The leg completely torn off.
RE:that dosn't sem tht bad
DS:Wait.
DS:It gets better.
DS:Okay, so I threw it over my shoulder.
DS:Because it was pretty much worthless now.
DS:Suddenly, there was a flash from behind me.
RE:DUN DUN DUNNNN
DS:Yes.
DS:Pat pestered me.
DS:Said that there was a zombie behind me.
DS:I turned around.
DS:And there it was.
RE:the zmbie?
DS:Yes.
DS:Although I'm pretty sure it's not.
DS:Mostly because it looks exactly like my A-Rod figurine.
RE:cogh doll cough
DS:Missing leg and all.
DS:*cough*ignoring*cough*
DS:Except,
DS:it's glowing bright green.
RE:oh yeah
DS:What?
RE:i read abot that
RE:in a walkthrogh
RE:it said thats caled tha kernlsprite
RE:wel sprite now
RE:thats wht the green glowy thing was
RE:your supposd to prototyp it
RE:thro somthing in it
RE:i guess you just did that
DS:So the sprite takes on the characteristics of whatever you throw in it?
RE:yep prety much
RE:its suposed to be reflcted
RE:on the imps
RE:wen you prtotype
RE:be4 you enter
RE:its suposed to hach
RE:but we didnt do that
DS:Damn.
DS:One-legged imps would have been much easier to kill.
RE:
RE:also
RE:your suposed to do it twice
RE:if you do it with somthing human like
RE:it wil tel you secrets of the game
DS:Well, a figurine is definitely human-like.
RE:is it sayin anythin?
DS:Nope.
DS:I asked it if it could talk.
DS:Didn't get much of a response.
RE:maybe
RE:after the second
RE:it wil becom
RE:inteligble
DS:Maybe.
DS:Did you prototype yours yet?
RE:no
RE:lokin 4 somthin good
DS:How about one of your sister's stuffed animals.
DS:Or one of your pets.
DS:Or both.
RE:okay
RE:i cant find it thogh
RE:how did you find yours?
DS:I just threw it over my shoulder.
DS:I think when it "hatched",
DS:because there was nothing in it,
DS:it turned invisible.
DS:Just throw it around.
DS:You'll find it eventually.
RE:okay
RE:found it
RE:i prottypd with a human doll
RE:and a ginea pig
DS:Which one?
RE:cookie
DS:Yeah, he liked you more.
DS:And he was the oldest.
DS:Does it talk?
RE:yeah
RE:told me evrythin ao told me
RE:also
RE:aparently
RE:im the king of electricity
RE:in th realm of wirs and armis
DS:Okay.
DS:I prototyped with a Wiimote.
DS:It tells me that I am the Guardian of Matter,
DS:in the Realm of Movement and Paranoia.
DS:Wait, I should probably be telling Pat this stuff.
DS:For when she gets a server.
RE:good idea

doubtfulStrongman [DS] ceased pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 19:14

EG:omg
EG:tht thng is crpy
EG:bt so col
EG:
DS:Don't worry, I just talked to Nate.
DS:He said it's called a Kernelsprite.
DS:Well, a Sprite now.
EG:wyd u thro a wimot in it
DS:You're supposed to prototype it with two things.
DS:Speaking of which, have you found a server?
EG:idk
EG:myb at
DS:Really?
DS:I still don't understand how you like that guy.
DS:He's so full of himself.
EG:i no
EG:bt hs so col
EG:nt 2 mnton spr sxy
EG:u no wat im tkin bout
EG:
DS:Okay, yes, I admit he's attractive.
DS:But that doesn't change the fact that his personality is so deterring.
EG:cmn
EG:hs nt al bd
EG:wtevr
EG:im gna pstr hm nw
DS:Okay, fine.
DS:Wait
DS:I have to tell you some things.
EG:y y
EG:l8r

excitedGymnast [EG] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 19:22

Marcus closed the Pesterchum window. Speaking with Pat is always so annoying. That chatspeak is almost indecipherable, and she's so impatient. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices a blue box. Remembering that he has yet to open it, he reaches over and pries off the lid. Inside, he finds an unbroken A-Rod figurine. Aw, that was nice of her, he thinks.

Nate heads out his door, nearly tripping on a bundle of wires crossing his path. He spies an army of people in red, marching in the distance. He thinks he can almost make out guns over their shoulders. Good thing I'm not over there. They would tear me to shreds.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 19:23

EG:hy
EG:u gt sbrb
AT:hell yeah
AT:this game is the shit
EG:wr r u
AT:motel in france
AT:service is lousy but its cheap as hell
EG:frnc?
EG:wr?
AT:strasbourg i think
EG:ww ur rte nxt 2 me!
EG:wl nt rte nxt 2 me
EG:bt clse
AT:how close
AT:like next door neighbors
AT:or a country apart
AT:what is it
EG:lk 25 km
EG:dnt prtnd u dnt pln ths
AT:fuck yeah I planned this
AT:why wouldn't I want to see my favorite girl
AT:your the best crazy-ass bitch a guy could hope for
AT:and then some
EG:aw
EG:ur so swt
EG:bt srsly
EG:sbrb
EG:nw
AT:ow
AT:kittys got claws
AT:or more appropriately
AT:dragons got burn
AT:who could resist temptation like that
AT:i have no choice but to accept
AT:my majesty
AT:lead me
AT:in this intrepid game
AT:of life
EG:mm
EG:me liky
EG:bt no
EG:i rfse ur ofr
EG:u wl ld me
EG:i nd th prtction
EG:i m a prncs aftr al
AT:yes my liege
AT:i shall do as you wish
AT:follow me
AT:and i shall lead you to greener pastures
AT:full of ripe cows for your dining pleasure
EG:of crse
EG:hw cd i hv it ne othr wy
EG:my

excitedGymnast [EG] ceased pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 19:42

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So yeah, I think I've gotten this better than the last one. Ch.1 seemed sort of rushed to me. I took a slower pace with this one. I also put some of the action out side of pesterlogs, but most of it is still in. I don't think this is too bad, but I want to reduce the ratio of it. It doesn't help that I pretty much just type this out, making it up as I go along. No planning, aside from a general idea of what's going to happen. Although, I suppose that is how Andrew does it. Also, the kids* all have associated elements from a religion that I made up, so you're not going to be able to get them. They may be revealed later in the story.
*The kids' ages range from 14-20.

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Alsox2, who needs shippers, I ship my own characters. I think I've been around the romart thread too long.

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.

Ch.3

[Summergale]

I've decided to start turning certain panels into text, mostly because I feel like it. The first one is WQ giving her mailbox crown to PM. Sorry if it's a little repetitive; I don't like using the exiles' abbreviations in fanfiction. I'll probably expand on it later.

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The Windswept Questant rolled a battered silver crown between her hands. A wonderful gift, lovingly crafted, but one she could never accept. Perhaps before, but not now. She looked up from her musing and beckoned the Peregrine Mendicant over. The girl looked nervous, her ink-black eyes darting from the crown to the ex-queen's face. The Questant smiled, and beckoned to the floor. Understanding blossomed across her face, and the former post-woman unsheathed her sword before stabbing it in the ground. She kneeled down and closed her eyes, placing both clawed hands upon the jet pommel.

“Years ago, a royal duty was accepted,” the Questant began. The Wayward Vagabond and Aimless Renegade glanced between each other. One shrugged, an action quickly mimicked by the other. Looking back, they saw the former queen holding up the crown. It glinted in the relentless sun. “...It has since been fulfilled.” she murmured, lowering the crown and nestling it upon her subject's head.

[Heinrich]

Alright, this is my first try at a fanfic, and there are some things you should know:

I'm filling in a lot of stuff here.
This is grandpa Harley and John's grandfather talking, who may or may not be the same person in HS.
This is obviously not based on any canonical proof Although if Andrew actually picks this up and rolls with it I'd probably die of amazement.
The son we are talking about here is John's Dad.
Harley's name is probably not Haston.
edit: I am also assuming that HS takes place in the future, and that this conversation is around our own time.

Heartstuck prologue, part 1:

*RING RING RING RING*

"Hello? Egbert residence."

"Yes, Egbert? This is Haston Harley. I was wondering if you had a couple minutes."

"Absolutely, my son's just gone to bed. Is this about the tests?"

"Well, yes, but there's something else as well. As for the Captchalogue system, things are going smoothly. Your son was the
first person to pull things back out of the medium which, hehe, is a pretty important part of the process."

"Is this stuff really going to catch on?"

"Well, there are still limitations, but we're going to sell captcha cards individually, give companies licenses to create their own
methods of retrieval, among other things. It's a big market, never having to carry anything! Just imagine it, Egbert. Pockets, bags, drawers, closets. All are going to be made obsolete one day."

"I'm sure my grandkids are going to appreciate what you're doing. It's late, what do you need?"

"We'd like to have your son participate in our next project. A game."

"My son is only ten years old, he doesn't need to be involved in a top secret company's gaming endeavors."

"You know it's always bigger than that. We do important things here, Egbert. This might be the biggest. We're talking about
the survival of the human race here."

"...

I understand. When does it start?"

"April Thirteenth."

End part one.

If you think it's worth continuing, let me know.

[Aerok12]

Here's the third one. I can't stop doing these. It's been one a day since Sunday. What the hell, me, don't you have more important stuff to be doing?

Ch. 1
Ch. 2

Alandoned: Chapter 3

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Layers.
Upon layers.
Wires, covering the entire planet.
Like yarn.
Is there any land here?
I don't know.
Who are those men in the distance?
I don't know.
Walk.
Nathaniel began walking. Imps and basilisks came to him.
But he didn't stop.
Couldn't.
The attack.
Tattered shreds of skin and clothes.
Fur, matted down with blood.
But he didn't stop.
Couldn't.
The King has fallen.


forgetfulHistorian [FH] began pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 19:16

FH:Hey
FH:You
RE:yse?
FH:If you ever feel the need to do something
FH:Think it through
FH:Be careful
RE:of corse
RE:i alwys trust you
FH:Fight on

forgetfulHistorian [FH] ceased pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 19:17

Nathaniel closed the pesterchum window and turned of the computer monitor. He was just finishing a conversation with Marc when FH pestered him. He knew from experience to always trust her judgments and advice. He left out the front door of his home, looking to fight some imps and collect Grist. He looked to the multi-colored ground and the velvet sky, and muttered "I don't think we're in New York anymore, Cookie," but even he knew it was way too late for that.
As he gazed at the mess of wires making up the ground below his feet, he began to wonder to himself if the entire planet was like this, even the center. He dismissed the thought as impossible to know for sure, and instead turned his attention to the band of marching men on the horizon. He took note of their blue outfits, as opposed to the red of the previous group. He vaguely pondered who those men were. What were their lives like, their histories? Have they done anything else in their meager existence besides march, endlessly, circling the world for the rest of eternity? He decided to walk over to them, to discover more.
But FH's words rang through his head. He looked around, and found bronze imps and strange lizard-like creatures, lurking in the shadows. He stopped, before he reached far enough out that they could reach him before he could run back.
I could never take that many at once.
Think it through
Even with the new upgrade, this was far too much for a child so low on his Echeladder.
I need to train.
Deliberately inching back towards his house, he vowed to learn more about his new home before venturing out. He had fought hard just minutes before. Now, he would rest.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 19:51

EG:hy
EG:wt ws tht stf
EG:u wr gna tl me
DS:Oh yes.

doubtfulStrongman [DS] sent excitedGymnast [EG] file "sburb_faq/walkthrough_by_tentacleTherapist"

DS:That should explain it all.
EG:thx
EG:
EG:wt
EG:ths is so lng
EG:
DS:Well, too bad.
DS:Read it or lose the game.
EG:fk u
EG:i lst it
EG:
DS:Hehehe
DS:

excitedGymnast [EG] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 19:53

Fuck, I'm not reading this.
Pat never much cared for anything that took time. She was more about now, now, now. It always seemed pointless to her to be doing something that took too long, because there was always something better to be doing, with immediate results. She's not gonna live forever!
But that didn't matter now. AT was starting to mess with her room. And she wasn't having any of that.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 19:54

EG:hy
EG:crfl
AT:hey im just playin the game sweetheart
AT:if you cant deal
AT:suck it
EG:wtevr
EG:u hv mr ptenc thn me
EG:rd ths

excitedGymnast [EG] sent amazingTraveler [AT] file "sburb_faq/walkthrough_by_tentacleTherapist"

AT:cool
AT:wait what the hell is this
AT:purple prose type shit
AT:i aint readin this
EG:thts wt i sd
EG:ds snt it 2 me
AT:ugh
AT:that guy is such a faggoty stick in the mud
AT:like
AT:the mud is all
AT:make my homoerotic fantasies come true
AT:and hes all
AT:sorry cant
AT:too boring
EG:hehe
EG:ur so fny
EG:
AT:yeah i know
AT:world class comedian entertainment right here
AT:no need for applause
AT:just throw hookers
EG:*thros slf*
AT:
AT:alright
AT:lets get this shit started
AT:the game i mean
AT:not the sex
AT:though sex would be fine too
EG:o id sx u ne dy
AT:i know
AT:youre my bitch
AT:but seriously
AT:this shits too long
AT:and like
AT:atrociously eloquent
AT:how do i read this
EG:i dno
EG:bt hp 2 it
EG:im wtng 4 u
EG:n u dnt wna kp a btch wtng
AT:alright
AT:so i put this
AT:bottle shaped thing
AT:in your room

Pat could see that there was now an enormous machine in the center of her room. And right on top of her séance circle goddammit!

EG:i c
EG:u pt it on my seance crcl
AT:sorry
AT:but theres no room left
EG:jst pt evrythn ls otsd
EG:wt wda we do w/ ths
AT:apparently hit it
AT:with something heavy
AT:your moms ass around?
EG:haha
EG:rl fny

She heard a loud crash behind her. She whipped around to find a pile of books on the ground, and a glowing purple circle freaking out in the air above the machine.
There was also a timer on the bottom of it, reading 00:07:27, and counting down.

EG:wt th hl is ths
EG:ths bks wr xpnsv
EG:n wts tht thng
AT:its called a kernelsprite
AT:you throw something in it
AT:and it becomes your guide navi thing
AT:you need something human like though
EG:myb my vodo dl
AT:sure why not

She picked up the Voodoo doll, shaped and colored like her mother, off of her table. She had never been able to make it work, probably because she needed a DNA sample. And her mother was a light sleeper. She might be able to get some now that her mother was sick in bed.
She decided go get a tissue first, and so left her dark, comfortable room for the sickening lightness of the rest of the house. Luckily for her, her mother's room was right across the hall. She slowly opened the door and peeked inside. Her mother was in bed, sleeping. Yes! This would probably be easier than she thought!
Sneaking across the room, she spotted a wastebasket filled to the brim with used tissues. She crept her hand over to a tissue, quietly plucking it from the pile.
"What are you doing?"

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Oh no, a cliffhanger! Guess you'll have to wait till tomorrow. :3
Okay, seriously, I think my writing style is drastically improving. It's still not up to you guys' levels, but that just gives me something to aim for! Hooray for self-confidence! Woohoo!
Also, I realized that I mixed up Atheneum and Punch Designix in Ch.1. Whoops
Alsox2, amazingTraveler's name does not actually relate to adiosToreador. Just a coincidence. Move along.
Nothing else new to report, but you guys are doing great! Keep up the good work!

[Aerok12]

Oh, look, another one. How surprising. Also, not sure if it's cool to double-post, even if I have a new chapter, and no-one has posted since yesterday. If it shouldn't be done, just let me know, and I won't do it again.

Ch.1-3, links in previous post

Alandoned: Chapter 4

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Years in the future, but not many,

A FORLORN SCAVENGER looks on at the endless desert, spreading out from her new home. She had walked miles to reach it, clearly visible, white against a red sky, reaching to the heavens, beckoning her to safety and warmth. The climb had taken hours, but it was nothing compared to what she had previously gone through just to survive.

FS had been living on the beach, barely sustaining herself on fish and insects. It was only when she wandered a bit farther inland, that she noticed the gargantuan tower, peeking over the horizon. She trekked for several long months, living on the few rations she had brought along with her, and sand when she ran out.

Now imagine her surprise, her joy, when she discovered that the Tower had bountiful supplies of food, glorious food! She reveled in her newfound comestibles, savoring the flavor, and, even moreso, the feeling of a full stomach and a day well used.

When she had awoken from her rest, she noticed a vaguely white light coming from her left. Hastily opening her eyes, she turned to the unnamed invader, expecting a creature similar to herself, but only seeing a simple computer, fourteen monitors, one showing a strange individual, resembling a common rat, yet acting intelligent and almost human-like. She also noticed a typing device underneath. Acting on her survival instincts, she asked it a simple question.

Do you have any food?

FS watched the strange person open its food containment unit, showing her its contents. She practically drooled at the sight of it. It would have plenty to eat for months, maybe even years. That is, if it knows how to ration itself.

What is your name?
His name is Nathaniel.

She nearly jumped as the words flashed on-screen.

Okay, so his name is Nate.

Nate, go outside.

The viewscreen followed him as he walked out his door. FS looked on in inexplicable amazement as she saw his world. Cables, covering the entire planet.

Is there any land here?
I don't know.

Infantries, parading around in a show of force.

Who are those people?
I don't know.

Walk

The boy named Nate began walking for about two meters before stopping. He turned to look around, and he, as well as FM, detected a band of beasts prowling in the shade. Her instincts kicking in, she keyed up a quick order.

Wait, go back, slowly.

Nate began to gently retreat back to the relative safety of his home. FS sighed, a job well done. She shifted her view to the bottled water at her side, and took a long drink. She would have gotten it anyway, and had he not turned around, she wouldn't have even noticed the monsters.

Boy, that was a close one.

Crisis averted, she began to wander the compound. To the south was the door that she had entered from. To the west was another strange machine, the right screen showing a circle with several smaller ones inside, and the left screen showing the planet she was currently on. She knew because her old friend was an ADVENTUROUS CARTOGRAPHER. Sadly, AC had died when he gave FM his last rations to keep her alive. Remembering him always managed to make her feel lonely, and now more than ever she desired companionship.

She walked back over to the computer. Seeing Nate asleep just increased her feeling of desolation. She looked back to the keyboard. There was a key she hadn't noticed at first, labeled "help". She pressed it, and the monitor changed to a screen showing her past commands and a short list of possible ones. One that immediately caught her attention was named "home". She quickly typed it in, hoping for some sort of menu-like screen.

Instead, what showed up was an image of a large, abstract representation of a house, a countdown underneath, reading 00:00:07,:06,:05...

Again acting on instincts, she rushed to the door, only to realize that it had been sealed shut!

:04,:03

FS ran back to the computer, hoping to somehow stop the frightening countdown.

:02

She hurriedly typed the only thing she could think of.

:01

"stop"

:00



Nothing happened.

FS simply stood there dazed, wondering if she had manged to actually stop whatever was going to happen.

Her hopes were dashed as a rumbling sound penetrated the quiet of the bunker. FS felt the gravity under her feet sway, as the northern computer flashed to life. It had two screens, each showing different, but similar things. Upon closer examination, she concluded that the top showed the north side of the spherical station, the bottom showing the south. And they were moving. She suddenly knew why the ground was careening. It was rolling!

Looking at the bottom monitor, she paid a silent goodbye to the bat-shaped pedestal that the shelter had been built on, backing swiftly away. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew there would be others there. It was home, after all. The thought comforted her, and she eagerly awaited her arrival.

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So hey, if you have anything to say about my writing style feel free to tell me. I welcome open criticism, as long as it's constructive.
Man, I had to use a thesaurus, like, the whole time I was writing this. I hope it doesn't feel too forced.
Also, again, AC's name is not related to arsenicCatnip. Coincidence.
And again, sorry for the double post. Nobody else posted anything, and writing this is so much fun, I can see why you guys do it.

Ch.5

[I-gor]

Pretty nice stuff so far. Also, I'm pretty sure double-posting doesn't count as long as it's three hours past the first post. Or something like that, it was like that on a different forum, so...*shrug*

Troll Log 3, part III

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gallowsCalibrator: H4H4, H3 GOT YOU TH3R3
gallowsCalibrator: H3 1S H4V1NG GR34T LUCK
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT?
gallowsCalibrator: 1M SURE
gallowsCalibrator: OR M4YB3, H4S H4D GR34T LUCK
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT?
gallowsCalibrator: 1 DONT KNOW WH3N 1 4M COMP4R3D W1TH 4LL OF YOU
carcinoGeneticist: DO YOU HEAR THIS SOUND?
carcinoGeneticist: IT IS THE SOUND OF MY HEAD HITTING THE KEYBOARD
carcinoGeneticist: SEVERAL TIMES
grimAuxiliatrix: WHAT?
twinArmageddons: augh you guys are liike 2adiists everytiime you talk another system error pops up liike a color 2en2iitiive praiiriie dog
ectoBiologist: that sounds exciting
ectoBiologist: working hard or hardly working?
twinArmageddons: iim gettiing carpal tunnel 2yndrome
twinArmageddons: what doe2 iit sound liike?
grimAuxiliatrix: OK, I'M GOING TO GO NOW
grimAuxiliatrix: AT LOOKS HALF DEAD
gallowsCalibrator: 1S TH3 R34L SL1M G4 ST4ND1NG UP?
grimAuxiliatrix: HUH?
adiosToreador: wAS THAT A RAP JOKE?
grimAuxiliatrix: YEAH, SHE'S COMING THIS WAY
grimAuxiliatrix: All Right
grimAuxiliatrix: That Felt Oddly Satisfying
gallowsCalibrator: H4D 3NOUGH TOUGH LOV3?
grimAuxiliatrix: That's Getting A Little Old
twinArmageddons: you guys are riidiiculou2
twinArmageddons: let iit go, you 2ound liike you're playiing 2piin the bottle
grimAuxiliatrix: I'm Inclined To Agree
twinArmageddons: get back to wo-
twinArmageddons: you aren't actually doiing anythiing
grimAuxiliatrix: Indeed.
ectoBiologist: maybe you should loosen up a bit
twinArmageddons: nevermiind, iim goiing to use both hands to work now
twinArmageddons: miight as well have a wiisecrackiing dog to annoy me
twinArmageddons: iinstead of eleven iireverent friiend2
ectoBiologist: why would you have a wisecracking dog
twinArmageddons: to annoy me of course
twinArmageddons: liike iin comiic striips
ectoBiologist: oh
twinArmageddons: or 2uch
gallowsCalibrator: 4ND YOU CL41M W3 4R3 1RR3V3R3NT
grimAuxiliatrix: That's A Bit Of A Harsh Claim To Make
twinArmageddons: enough of your gibe2 iive go 2hiit to get done
twinArmageddons has left.
carcinoGeneticist: HAVE YOU FINISHED CLEANING OUT AT'S BONE NOOK YET?
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes.
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes I Have.
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T 4N 4SSHOL3
adiosToreador: iM NOT THAT BAD
adiosToreador: i THINK
ectoBiologist: yeah you are
gallowsCalibrator: W3LL 1 WAS T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 OTH3R ON3
carcinoGeneticist: THAT'S WHY GA LIKES YOU SO MUCH, AT
grimAuxiliatrix: Again With The Allegations
gallowsCalibrator: 4CTU4LLY, 3V3RYON3 H3R3 1S 4N 4SSHOL3
gallowsCalibrator: 1M SURROUND3D BY 4SSHOL3S
ectoBiologist: yo!
grimAuxiliatrix: What?
gallowsCalibrator: STUP1D BR1DG3
adiosToreador: nOW EVERYONE HAS GONE CRAZY
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 YOU W3R3NT
gallowsCalibrator: YOU H4V3 NO ROOM TO JUDG3
grimAuxiliatrix: I'll Say
gallowsCalibrator: C4N 1 G4
grimAuxiliatrix: Can You What?
adiosToreador: oHHHH BURN
adiosToreador: bURN
grimAuxiliatrix: Oh Shut Up AT
gallowsCalibrator: 4UGH WHY COULDNT CG H4V3 H3LP3D M3 OUT ON MY INSULT 1NG3NU1TY?
adiosToreador: bECAUSE HE IS SLOW
adiosToreador: lIKE HIS HORN GROWTH
carcinoGeneticist: I'M WARNING YOU NOW AT
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 YOU AR3NT SLOW
carcinoGeneticist: SHUT UP
grimAuxiliatrix: He Does Have A Point
carcinoGeneticist: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON ANYWAY
adiosToreador: iF YOU BEAT ME UP i'LL HAVE ALREADY FELT IT OR WILL FEEL IT
carcinoGeneticist: GC, WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY TIME-TRANSCENDING LAND MINES LEFT?
gallowsCalibrator: NO
gallowsCalibrator: 1 THOUGHT M4K1NG THOS3 W4S 4 PR3TTY B4D 1D34 4NYW4Y
carcinoGeneticist: OH WELL
gallowsCalibrator: 1 COULD H4V3 BL1ND3D SOM3ON3
carcinoGeneticist: JUST SET UP AN AMBUSH THEN
carcinoGeneticist: HIT AT WITH A CHAIR
gallowsCalibrator: D1DNT N33D S3COND THOUGHTS TH3R3
gallowsCalibrator: D1DNT 3V3N N33D TO 4MBUSH
grimAuxiliatrix: That Sounds Fortunate
adiosToreador: iF i'D HAVE HAD WARNING
adiosToreador: i'D HAVE WON EASILY
gallowsCalibrator: H4H4H4H4H4
grimAuxiliatrix: You?
gallowsCalibrator: R34LLY? YOU'D 3V3N PR3T3ND TH4T?
carcinoGeneticist: AT, YOU'RE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN
carcinoGeneticist: MITIGATED ONLY BY ROMANCE
adiosToreador: yEAH WATCH THIS, i'M GOING TO HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR, IN THIS TIME, RIGHT NOW
carcinoGeneticist: RIGHT
carcinoGeneticist: BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T JUST STEAL THAT IDEA.
adiosToreador: dONE
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T
gallowsCalibrator: OH W41T
carcinoGeneticist: AND BECAUSE YOU FELL FOR THE DECOY.
carcinoGeneticist: AGAIN.
adiosToreador: wHO'D i HIT
gallowsCalibrator: 1 DONT KNOW
carcinoGeneticist: YOU'D PROBABLY PREFER NOT TO KNOW
carcinoGeneticist: JUST DROP THE CHAIR AND RUN
gallowsCalibrator: WHOS ST4T1ON W3R3 YOU 4T?
carcinoGeneticist: DON'T ASK, I SAID
gallowsCalibrator: 1 GU3SS H3S RUNN1NG
grimAuxiliatrix: So Whose Was It?
gallowsCalibrator: 1 DONT KNOW
gallowsCalibrator: 1 D1DNT S3T 4 TR4P
carcinoGeneticist: LIKE I SAID IT'S BETTER TO LEAVE CERTAIN THINGS UNSAID
gallowsCalibrator: YOU H4D TO GO 4ND G41N MY 4TT3TION
adiosToreador: lIKE HE NEVER DOESNT HAVE IT
adiosToreador: rUNNING
gallowsCalibrator: >:_
adiosToreador: tHAT IS AN AMBIGUOUS EMOTE WHAT DO yOU MEAN
gallowsCalibrator: N3V3R M1ND
adiosToreador: nOW i WANT TO KNOW
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S BETTER OFF THAT WAY, AT
adiosToreador: bUT WAS SHE AGREEING OR DISAGREEING WITH ME?
carcinoGeneticist: YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T DO YOU TH1NK?
adiosToreador: hMMM
grimAuxiliatrix: CG, Why Are You Determined To Play Everything So Cagey?
adiosToreador: aGREEING?
gallowsCalibrator: >:_
adiosToreador: uM
ectoBiologist: it's like one of those inkblot things
gallowsCalibrator: 1M SUR3 T4 WOULD S33 4 COMM4ND PROMPT
grimAuxiliatrix: I'm Sure He Would Too
adiosToreador: iS IT A YES?
gallowsCalibrator: >:_
adiosToreador: iLL ASK SOMEONE
adiosToreador: iLL ASK YOU
gallowsCalibrator: YOUR 1N 4 WORLD OF HURT TH3N
carcinoGeneticist: THAT'S HIS LIFE
gallowsCalibrator: 4S USU4L
carcinoGeneticist: PAIN AND ROMANCE
grimAuxiliatrix: That Could Possibly Construed As Yours, CG
carcinoGeneticist: WHAT NO
gallowsCalibrator: Y3S
gallowsCalibrator: Y3S 1T COULD
adiosToreador: i WAS RIGHT
ectoBiologist: that sounds even better
gallowsCalibrator: YOU W1SH YOU H4D TH4T L1F3STYL3 JOHN
ectoBiologist: uh
ectoBiologist: i'll say no
gallowsCalibrator: H3H3H3H3
grimAuxiliatrix: This Is Getting Nowhere
grimAuxiliatrix: I'm Going To Go And See If AT's Still Alive
grimAuxiliatrix has left.
adiosToreador: wAIT GUYS i NEED TO CHECK SOMETHING i'LL BE RIGHT BACK
adiosToreador has left.
carcinoGeneticist: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
adiosToreador has joined.
grimAuxiliatrix has joined.
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T W3R3 YOU CH3CK1NG
grimAuxiliatrix: Me?
adiosToreador: cHECKING wHAT?
adiosToreador: hEY gA
adiosToreador: wHAAAASSSSSUP
gallowsCalibrator: YOU S41D YOU W3R3 CH3CK1NG SOM3TH1NG
gallowsCalibrator: W41T D1D W3 T1MEHOP?
adiosToreador: i DID?
adiosToreador: tIMEHOP?
carcinoGeneticist: LOOKS LIKE IT
grimAuxiliatrix: Hello AT How Are You Right Now?
adiosToreador: i'M DOING OK
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3LY
ectoBiologist: are you back from beating him up again?
grimAuxiliatrix: What? Why Would I Beat Up AT?
carcinoGeneticist: YOU JUST LEFT TO DO JUST THAT
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Want To Beat Up My Loyal Romantic Accomplice For No Reason
grimAuxiliatrix: This Idea Itself Strikes Me As Reckless And Foolish
adiosToreador: yEAH
adiosToreador: wHAT SHE SAID
gallowsCalibrator: 1TS FUTUR3 G4 TH3N
carcinoGeneticist: GOOD GRIEF
gallowsCalibrator: 4ND...P4ST 4T
gallowsCalibrator: >
adiosToreador: pAST?
gallowsCalibrator: 1 C4NT T3LL
ectoBiologist: he is a little dumb isn't he?
adiosToreador: hEY
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S TRUE
grimAuxiliatrix: Why Must Everyone Gang Up On AT Every Conversation?
grimAuxiliatrix: He Is A Bit Slow, But He Makes Up For It In Heart
ectoBiologist: um
ectoBiologist: i don't know
gallowsCalibrator: 4UGH
gallowsCalibrator: YOU P41N M3 G4, YOU P41N M3
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Think Pain Is Verb
gallowsCalibrator: 1 DONT C4R3
carcinoGeneticist: I'M PRETTY SURE IT IS
grimAuxiliatrix: Well I Haven't Read Anything In A While
adiosToreador: tHAT'S AMAZING
grimAuxiliatrix: Maybe I'm Just Rusty.
ectoBiologist: what have you been doing
grimAuxiliatrix: Why Would I Disclose My Doings Here?
grimAuxiliatrix: In Deep Public?
carcinoGeneticist: DON'T NEED TO
carcinoGeneticist: CAN SEE THEM ALL ON MY MONITOR
carcinoGeneticist: YOU LEAD QUITE THE BUSY LIFE, AT
adiosToreador: mE?
grimAuxiliatrix: Hmmm It Isn't Too Much Of A Secret I Suppose.
ectoBiologist: you can tell me
grimAuxiliatrix: Why You Even Care Is What Baffles Me.
ectoBiologist: you wanted to kill him a minute ago
gallowsCalibrator: T1M3 1S L1K3 4 STYRFO4M W4LL H3R3 JOHN
ectoBiologist: styrofoam?
gallowsCalibrator: Y3S
adiosToreador: sOUNDS LIKE sOME KIND OF INNUENDO IF YOU ASK ME
carcinoGeneticist: BUT DID WE ASK YOU?
carcinoGeneticist: NO
grimAuxiliatrix: He Is Part Of The Conversation, Is He Not?
adiosToreador: yEAH
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes.
gallowsCalibrator: WOW MS.OV3RPRO3CT1V3
adiosToreador: uM
gallowsCalibrator: YOU'R3 R34CH1NG N3W H31GHTS
gallowsCalibrator: 1 M1SS TH3 OLD YOU
grimAuxiliatrix: I'm Sorry To Hear That.
ectoBiologist: like falling down all those stairs
grimAuxiliatrix: But I Don't Want To Go Back.
gallowsCalibrator: ST4IRS JOHN?
ectoBiologist: i told you about stairs
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T
gallowsCalibrator: 1 DONT R3C4LL TH1S
adiosToreador: wHAT DO STAIRS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING aGAIN?
carcinoGeneticist: THEY'RE AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE
grimAuxiliatrix: He's Referencing His Friends Comic, You Really Need To Be More Observant
ectoBiologist: i thought you didn't like dave
adiosToreador: wHOSE DAVE
grimAuxiliatrix: It Pains Me To Do So, But I Had to Defend Fact
carcinoGeneticist: WELL, THAT'S QUITE THE COME-DOWN FOR YOU
grimAuxiliatrix: Besides, Everyone Squeaking Like Imbeciles Was Not Very Becoming Of Us.
adiosToreador: oH YEAH
adiosToreador: sORRY ABOUT HITTING YOU WITH THAT CHAIR THE OTHER DAY
grimAuxiliatrix: What?
grimAuxiliatrix: Oh.
grimAuxiliatrix: That Was A While Ago, I Don't Know Why I Didn't Recall It Until Just Now
gallowsCalibrator: BR41N D4M4G3
adiosToreador: dON'T SAY THAT
grimAuxiliatrix: Very Humorous.
gallowsCalibrator: 1 PR1D3 MYS3LF
gallowsCalibrator: D41LY
adiosToreador: iS PRIDE A VERB?
gallowsCalibrator: 4UGH
gallowsCalibrator: 1S TH4T F1XED
gallowsCalibrator has left.
grimAuxiliatrix has left.
gallowsCalibrator has joined.
grimAuxiliatrix has joined.
carcinoGeneticist: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
adiosToreador: yEAH wHAT
grimAuxiliatrix: TA Was Not Kidding About The Server.
adiosToreador: i WAS GETTING WORRIED
carcinoGeneticist: YOU WOULD BE
grimAuxiliatrix: How Sweet.
gallowsCalibrator: DO3S TH4T M34N M3 4ND YOU 4R3 RUNN1NG P4R4LL3L?
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Know, Are We?
ectoBiologist: maybe
gallowsCalibrator: C4N YOU S33 M3 W4V1NG?
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes.
adiosToreador: nO
grimAuxiliatrix: I Guess We Are In The Same Frame Of Time.
carcinoGeneticist: FOR ONCE
gallowsCalibrator: 1ND33D
carcinoGeneticist: NOW ONCE YOU START ARGUING YOU CAN GO OVER TO EACH OTHERS' COMPUTERS AND START FIGHTING IN REAL LIFE
adiosToreador: tHAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS
grimAuxiliatrix: I Doubt We'll Argue.
gallowsCalibrator: OH Y34H N3G4T1VE N3LL13, W3LL HOW 4BOUT YOU 4ND YOUR L4M3 4SS BOYFR13ND GO 4ND ST1CK YOUR H34D 1N 4 P1G
adiosToreador: hEY
adiosToreador: wELL
adiosToreador: wELL
adiosToreador: mAYBE YOU CAN uM
grimAuxiliatrix: 1. Heads, 2. Excuse Me For A Moment
ectoBiologist: whats going on now?
ectoBiologist: cause there's this thing
ectoBiologist: it's alive
twinArmageddons has joined.
ectoBiologist: what is this thing
twinArmageddons: you guy2 diid cra2h the server
twinArmageddons: and a fiight broke out
twinArmageddons: what are you doiing iin here
ectoBiologist: i have no idea
adiosToreador: wHOSE WINNING
twinArmageddons: well iif you deciide to ruin more of our own 2hiit knock fiirst
twinArmageddons: and ii dont know who2 wiinniing becau2e everyone formed a drum ciircle around them
adiosToreador: oH
twinArmageddons: and they are incessantly yelliing "fiight fiight fiight"
carcinoGeneticist: WHAT ABOUT YOU
twinArmageddons: why would ii have tiime to watch a fiight between my friend2
twinArmageddons: why would ii want to
carcinoGeneticist: OH NEVER MIND
twinArmageddons: well iif you want anymore adviice to throw on your piile of unused knowledge, ju2t call
twinArmageddons has left.
ectoBiologist: but seriously what is going on here?
grimAuxiliatrix: What's Going On?
ectoBiologist: who won?
grimAuxiliatrix: AT Joined The Fight And I Just Left
adiosToreador: aM i WINNING?
grimAuxiliatrix: No
carcinoGeneticist: YOU LOSE BADLY
carcinoGeneticist: AND HAVE A BLACK EYE FOR DAYS
carcinoGeneticist: GC HAS A HARD RIGHT
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Know, What If I Go Help Him?
carcinoGeneticist: YOU DON'T
grimAuxiliatrix: I Could
carcinoGeneticist: AT GETS KNOCKED OUT PRETTY QUICKLY
adiosToreador: hEY NO i DON'T
grimAuxiliatrix: You Are
carcinoGeneticist: YES YOU DO
grimAuxiliatrix: I'll Clean Up The Mess
gallowsCalibrator: WH4T H4S B33N GO1NG ON 1N H3R3?
carcinoGeneticist: AT, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO
gallowsCalibrator: H3'LL S4Y TH3 R3L4T1ONSH1P M4K3S 1T WORTH 1T
gallowsCalibrator: JUST W4TCH
carcinoGeneticist: YEAH
grimAuxiliatrix: The Relationship Is Worth It.
adiosToreador: i SUPPOSE SO
gallowsCalibrator: BUT DO3S 1T L4ST?
carcinoGeneticist: IT DOES
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Think It'll Cease Any Time Soon
gallowsCalibrator: HOW DO YOU KNOW
carcinoGeneticist: LOGS FROM THE FUTURE
grimAuxiliatrix: It Seems To Be What We Do On A Regular Basis
carcinoGeneticist: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BUYING INTO TA'S SERVER NONSENSE
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Know What You Mean
grimAuxiliatrix: It Seemed He Had Facts Ready
gallowsCalibrator: TH3 HUM4NS C4N G3T PR3TTY 3NT3RT41N1NG
grimAuxiliatrix: Mutual Entertainment Perhaps
grimAuxiliatrix: But Aren't We Supposed To Get Work Done?
adiosToreador: wHAT WORK?
ectoBiologist: what kind of work
gallowsCalibrator: S1NC3 WH3N DO YOU L1ST3N TO T4 4BOUT WORK
adiosToreador: wE JUST YELL AT PEOPLE UNTIL...i DUNNO, Cg SAYS wE DO SOMETHING RIGHT
grimAuxiliatrix has left.
carcinoGeneticist: I WONDER WHERE SHE THINK SHE'S GOING
grimAuxiliatrix has joined.
gallowsCalibrator: YOUR3 B4CK
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes
grimAuxiliatrix: With Proof I Can Assume
grimAuxiliatrix: I Just Unwittingly Proved Server Errors I Suppose
grimAuxiliatrix: Thus Validating TA's Rant
grimAuxiliatrix: He Can Talk For The Longest Time.
gallowsCalibrator: R1GHT
adiosToreador: hOW DO WE KNOW yOU DIDN'T DO ON PURPOSE?
carcinoGeneticist: YEAH
carcinoGeneticist: YOU COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING IN THAT TIME
carcinoGeneticist: TROLL SOMEONE
carcinoGeneticist: READ A BOOK
grimAuxiliatrix: Because I Don't Support The Argument Enough To Fabricate Things Outright.
carcinoGeneticist: OR DRAW ON WALLS SOME MORE
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Think I'd Remember That
carcinoGeneticist: YOU...DON'T REMEMBER?
ectoBiologist: yeah
ectoBiologist: you were going crazy and everything
grimAuxiliatrix: What I'm Saying Is I Don't Think I'd Remember The Physical Action
grimAuxiliatrix: Until I Saw My Work And Realized My Predicament
gallowsCalibrator: OH
gallowsCalibrator: SO WH3N 4R3 YOU
adiosToreador: oR MAYBE yOUR JUST DENYING EVERYTHING
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Know, When Are You?
gallowsCalibrator: OR 4R3 YOU P4ST TH3 D3N14L ST4G3
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Think So
grimAuxiliatrix: Mostly Because I Can't Remember A Denial Stage
adiosToreador: mAYBE YOU CALL IT sOMETHING ELSE?
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 TH3 F1V3 ST4G3S OF D34TH
gallowsCalibrator: D3N14L, 4NG34, B4RG41N1NG

[ChemIisan]

My favorite so far is the troll log.

[Aerok12]

Ch.1-4 links 3 posts ago

Alandoned: Chapter 5

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Meanwhile, back in the present, a snake-man lies on his rented bed, laptop by his side. What is his name?

>Phineas Estell

Phineas, a 19-year-old nature photographer, rests in his temporary home in the outer fringes of Strasbourg, in his homeland of France. As previously stated, he is a nature photographer, and travels all over the world, searching for interesting photo opportunities, and posting them on his blog. His room is not well-decorated, as he rarely stays somewhere longer than four or five days. On his laptop is an image of his "girlfriend" in her house, doing something silly with her folks. He had to wait for her to get back to her computer before he could pester her, and he was feeling kinda bored. He decided to pester that moron Marcus until she got back.

amazingTraveler [AT] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 20:13

AT:hey keep your homo hands off my girl
AT:i know your after her
DS:Way to contradict yourself, genius.
AT:what are you talking about
AT:wait i know
AT:your trying to psych me out
AT:get in my head
AT:well too bad
AT:this nuts way too hard to crack
DS:*giggle*
AT:cut it out man
DS:You called yourself a nut.
DS:This isn't working as well as you had planned,
DS:is it,
DS:Fin?
AT:i told you to stop calling me that
AT:whatever man
AT:just step off her
AT:shes mine
DS:Oh, no.
DS:I can't possibly do that.
DS:She's far too hard to resist.
DS:So alluring.
DS:I mean,
DS:I ain't no fag.
DS:I'm not in a gay relationship already.
DS:Certainly not.
DS:Personally, I find the idea audacious and immature.
DS:Now that this matter has been settled,
DS:I shall bid you,
DS:adieu.

doubtfulStrongman [DS] ceased pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 20:17

Man, that guy is a freak.

Phineas changed the focus to the Sburb window. From the looks of it, Pat had already prototyped her Sprite with the voodoo doll. It looked somewhat like her mother, but with stitches and pins sticking out.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 20:17

EG:k gt it
AT:what happened?
EG:lng stry shrt
EG:gt dna
EG:atchd 2 vd dl
EG:gt vdsprt
AT:cool
EG:wo u gna cnct w/
AT:i dunno
AT:maybe pp
AT:hes booky
AT:he can read the rest of this rubbish
EG:tht mt b smrt
AT:yes it is
AT:im the smrtest guy i know
AT:anyway
AT:ill pester him about it
AT:hed probably be too afraid though
AT:coward
EG:ya cwrd
AT:okay see ya
EG:cya

amazingTraveler [AT] ceased pestering excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:20

amazingTraveler [AT] began pestering paranoidProfessor [PP] at 20:20

AT:yo
AT:you got sburb?
PP:Why, yes,
PP:I do.
PP:Why do you ask?
AT:i need to play with you
PP:Of course,
PP:I will gladly engage in such a boisterous pursuit of merriment,
PP:if I am accompanied by one of my amiable cohorts.
AT::|
AT:say again?
PP:Sure, I'll play.
PP:Also, get a thesaurus.
AT:no thanks
PP:If you insist.
PP:Are you in requisite of a client or a server?
AT:server
PP:I am commencing the inauguration of the Sburb server disk into my computing system.
AT:|:|
PP:Installing.
AT:thank you
PP:The induction operation has completed.
PP:Done.
AT:alright
AT:lets get this shit started
PP:Please refrain from exercising profane terminology amidst my presence.
AT:whatever man
AT:read this

amazingTraveler [AT] sent paranoidProfessor [PP] file "sburb_faq/walkthrough_by_tentacleTherapist"

PP:I am grateful for this supplementary information.
PP:Thank you.
PP:Oh, my.
AT:i know right
PP:This document has been inscribed with an extraordinarily garrulous demeanor.
PP:I am impressed.
AT:so you can understand that gibberish?
PP:I can interpret it effortlessly.
AT:so do what it says
AT:and we might win

Phineas watched as PP laid out all the machines necessary to progress.

AT:so whadda i do with this?
PP:It is simple.
PP:Retrieve one of the filled cards out of your Sylladex, read the Captcha code on the reverse side, and place an empty one in the Punch Designix.
PP:That is the machine that appears to be an elaborate keyboard of some sort.
PP:Type in the code that you read, and the machine should punch the card with holes.
PP:You must then attain a Cruxite dowel from the Cruxtruder, which is the one that I have placed next to the door.
PP:In order to collect it, however, you must strike the cover with a cumbersome object.
PP:After doing so, you will receive a Cruxite dowel, as mentioned earlier, as well as a creature known as a Kernelsprite.
PP:You need not worry yourself over the purpose of the Kernelsprite, as we do not require it at the current time.
PP:With the punched card and dowel in tow, move yourself over to the Totem Lathe.
PP:The Totem Lathe strikes as a complicated and oversized sewing apparatus, but is used for carving the dowel into a certain shape.
PP:First, you must place the dowel in between the pressure tools, the items used to keep it in place.
PP:Next, the punched card has to be allocated to the slot at the front.
PP:This will tell the machine how to carve the totem.
PP:Pressing the button next to the card slot will cause the machine to form the shaft into an unusual configuration.
PP:This is fundamental to the next step.
PP:Now, you have to affix the modeled figure to the small podium on the Alchemiter, the large platform.
PP:Upon establishment, I can use the Atheneum, an item menu for server, to create the object that was in the card you read.
PP:Using this, we can send objects to other players, and combine and alter them with numerous computational actions.
AT:okay are you done?
PP:I am finished, yes.
AT:okay i didnt get any of that
AT:can you just show me how to do it?

Half an hour later...

AT:okay thanks
PP:You are welcome.
AT:now lets make this shit
AT:sorry stuff
PP:You should probably start with the prepunched card.
PP:That will get you into the Medium.
PP:Prototype with something first, though.
PP:Preferably something damaged.
PP:So as to impair our Underlings.

Phin began searching the room for something suitably crippled. He found a photo of a headless bird in his album. The Kernelsprite was hanging out near the window. Phin tossed the picture at it.
FLASH
Floating in the air above his bed was a reflective image of a bird's upper torso and wings. Looking at the Sprite against the window, Phin noticed a red spot in the sky. Squinting his eyes, he could just barely tell that it was coming towards him.

AT:holy shit
PP:Why the sudden display of surprise and/or fear?
AT:because theres a fucking meteor coming straight for me
AT:thats why
PP:Yes, the walkthrough did mention a meteor.
PP:You should get that Cruxite item ready.

Phin went through the procedures necessary for creating the Cruxite item. From what he could tell, the item was a photograph, silver in color.

When he placed the dowel on the platform, and PP activated the machine, Phineas looked to the sky, hardly registering the old camera appearing, and printing out a metallic photograph. He saw only the meteor.

I will not fall to you.

He reached over, grabbing the picture, and, only moments away from destruction, tore it in half.





Welcome to the Realm of Slavery and Division.

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OMG, I am so glad I have access to a useful thesaurus. PP is hard to write for!
On a more serious note, I feel like I missed something, or there is some sort of inconsistency with the other chapters, but even after reading through it three times, I couldn't figure it out. If anyone finds any let me know, please.

Ch.6

[Gabu]

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Distortion Chapter 7

They had come to visit Dave the next day, though no one said a word. It was more out of courtesy than actually liking Dave at the moment. The incident was quickly forgotten in Dave's memory, though he could sort of feel that something had happened just yesterday causing his friends and sibling's coldness. They had stayed for only half-an-hour, before saying their goodbyes, with Rose and Jade mentioning they would be on Pesterchum, and John saying he would return the next weekend. It creeped Dave out to see even Jade not her usual, peppy self.

He hadn't noticed when he had forgotten about it.

Wednesday or Thursday the next week, after intensive physical care for the pathogen responsible, he went home to Bro's apartment. Despite having very temporary memory and significant memory loss, Dave finally had Bro pinned down by his cap, shades, and general mannerisms, as well as the somehow stuck memory of smuppets. So it surprised Dave when he didn't see a single one when he entered and was shown to his old room. It was quite nice, though somewhat disturbing. Dave turned in for the night sometime later, but had forgotten where his room was, and had went into his Bro's room, with the entire smuppet collection crammed in.

“Ironic that I should take your comments to heart.”

Dave didn't know what Bro had meant, but simply rolled with it. He took a shower the next morning, and happened to glance at himself in the mirror. This was his first time seeing himself in a mirror since what had happened, and if he had his hair, he might've recognized himself, but the emergency shave and stitchwork gave an already unfamiliar face nothing to go off by. Dave felt his stomach turn, and felt total dread hit his brain. He knows it's him in the mirror, yet it was a total stranger looking back at him.

“Fuck.” Only a tiny bit of solace was taken to the fact that at least his hat kind of gave the vibe of a street soldier kind of thing. It didn't do much, though.

---

Dave was silently working on one of his remixes. Somehow, trying to ignore the fact that his memory would drop how he was trying to remix a song and even forget what he was remixing in the first place wasn't working out. But he had woken up early in the morning and found what he surmised was a work in progress on his computer desktop when he couldn't get back to sleep. That was 4 AM, and it was now 2 PM. Bro had returned from shooting a collaborative smuppet film, and ninja'd his way behind Dave, and threw down a wad of cash in front of him.

Dave jumped back a little. “What's this?”

“Three grand, man. Dickhead manager di'int want t' pay you a cent, but me and yo' buds down dere worked out a deal.”

“Bro, whatchu talkin' about?”

“Yo' gig. The one y' almost… uh… anyway, two grand was taken to replace dat turntable y' desecrated wit' yo stomach.”

“I… see…”

“Aren'tchu gonna say thanks t' yo' bro?”

“Uh… yeah. Thanks?” Dave was too confused right then.

“You're welcome, man. Now get ready. Taken you back t' the hospital. They want t' do tests on ya.”

“Fuck.” Dave buried his head in the desk. “No, man. I'd rather not.”

Dave seemed to have forgotten of his Bro's ninja abilities, and without any other protest he had been put into the car. “Shit, man.”

---

Dave forgot what he did in those five hours, but he knew it was five hours he would never get back. They had gotten a report of almost everything to do with Dave, with very long notes concerning which specific aspects of memory was affected. He just wanted to go back to his room and sleep, only because what he was doing before was forgotten, and was feeling unexplainably tired. He had just curled up when his computer was trying to grab his attention. Dave sighed and got up, and noticed an item in his system tray blinking. Pesterchum.

“Goddammit! Fuck!” Dave opened it up and doubleclicked on Jade's flashing chumhandle.

TG: how long have you tried talking to me
GG: for days!!! John said he couldn't make it so im coming over!!!
TG: what. Whats going on is this some of that gaslighting shit cuz theres enough gas to fill a fucking truck
GG: your memory hasn't gotten better???
TG: apparently not
GG: well maybe I can help while im over!! Unless you still think were in ur way >
TG: what no I have no idea why you think I think that
GG: then you still want us over then??
TG: sure why not but you live on hellmurder island how can you get over here?
GG: bec, silly!!! Anyway here I come!!

Dave wasn't sure what was going on, and thought to contact John to ask him just what was going on. He doubleclicked on John's chumhandle, and typed up a message, but when he hit enter, the chatbox displayed the message “[EB] has blocked [TG]. The message cannot be sent.”

“Christ, what got his Twinkies crinkled?” He was going to talk to Rose and see just what happened, but was interrupted with enthusiastic knocking. He got up to open the door, and was instantly squeezed into a hug.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Jesus, you're squishing me!”

Jade let go. “What's up? How are you feeling?”

“Fine, if you take away the fact that I have no idea what I did today, or any other day.”

“Yo, bro! Didja remember t' clean yer stitches there?” A blank response. “Sup, Jade. Couldja help him?”

“Sure!”

Jade grabbed Dave by the wrist and dragged him to the bathroom. Dave plopped down on the toilet seat and watched Jade find a bottle of antiseptic and a clean rag. He fidgeted with his hat.

“What's wrong, Dave? It's not gonna hurt for too long!”

“It's just… I dunno if y' want t' see it. It's kinda gross and shit…”

“I think I can handle it, Dave!” She started putting the pure alcohol onto the rag.

Dave hesitated for a long moment, then caved and took it off. Jade noticed Dave grimacing as the alcohol touched his wound, but was more interested in his reddening cheeks.

“Dave, are you embarassed?”

“A-a little…” Dave was shocked at himself. “I look like a freakin' cancer patient.”

“It's already starting to grow back, Dave! It looks prickly!” Indeed, it was. “Would you rather have cancer?”

“Nah, Jade! I mean, at least I'd die from it than from embarrassment, but still, no.” Dave shoved the hat squarely back on. “I'd rather not have had dis happen, Jade. And I'd rather not have John getting all PMSin' on me.”

“He's pretty mad at you.” A pause. “Rose and I still kinda are.”

“Goddammit, Jade. What the hell did I do?”

“Well, you kinda exploded at us after Bro said he was gonna make you live here, and you said some pretty nasty things to us. You basically said we shouldn't help you and that we'd only be useless.”

“Dat's all?”

“You punched me and knocked me over when I was trying to tell you to not say such things. And then you insulted John really bad when he told you not to do that.”

“…I see…”

“You don't remember any of that?”

“…No…”

Jade made a goofy grin. “Well, Rose and I are over it now, so don't worry about us!”

“I guess John's still bitchin' about it?” Jade nodded. “Shit… I can't even talk to him now. He blocked my ass on Pesterchum!” Dave trudged back to his room.

Jade followed. “I'll talk to him! I'll tell him you're sorry about it and that you take it all back and junk and you'll both be bros again!”

“No… I was kinda right about you guys not helpin' me.”

Jade looked hurt. “Why, Dave? Why wouldn't you want us now?”

“Y'all don't need to see me like dis, man. I only recognize you because of your messy hair, I have nuffin!”

Jade realized what Dave had meant. “You mean you can't recognize yourself?”

“…No.” Dave buried himself in his bedsheets.

“Oh, Dave.” Jade hugged Dave. “We'll be here, and we'll help you get better no matter what!”

“Please stop, Jade. All's I need is some rest, and I'll be back in the game.”

“But Dave…”

Dave gently nudged out of the hug. “Jade, I just need some time alone.”

Jade backed away, to the door. “Okay, Dave. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jade. Please don't tell them anythin' except dat I don't need ‘em.” Jade ever so gently closed the door.

Dave turned over on his stomach, and made a primal, guttural yell into his pillow. It didn't matter if Bro and Jade heard, because he would just forget the event. Jade had heard the cry, and after some consideration, reached out for her lunchtop.

---

Dave fell asleep at around 9 in the evening, but didn't wake up until about 2 PM the next day, but he felt exhausted as all hell. He had no memory of the day before and, as a result, no memory of Jade coming over until she exclaimed he was awake and bellyflopped on him.

“Jade! What are you doing here?!”

“I'm staying for the weekend to help you get better!”

“W-what day is this?”

“Saturday! I came over last night!” Dave stared at her blankly. “Don't worry! I wrote down what happened at the hospital for you!” Dave looked more confused. “Wanna play a board game or something?”

“We don't have any board games, Jade.”

“Don't worry! I brought some!” She showed the selection. “Come on! It'll get your mind off of forgetting!”

Dave knew Jade would be persistent, so he just picked a game at random. Monopoly. It took all day, but he ultimately won by Jade's amazingly bad luck.

“…Don't I usually lose to you?”

“Yeah!”

“Jade… it ain't cool to take a dive.”

“I didn't. I honestly thought I wouldn't. Maybe I confused one game with another.”

Dave sighed. “Don't matter. Not like I ain't gonna know I won anyway.” Jade failed to interject. “But it's just some stupid board game. It ain't like dere's a message to it.”

“Why would there be?”

“I dunno, Jade.”

“Oh hey, messages! I talked to John last night! He said he's not quite as mad with you since I said you sounded sorry about most of it.”

“Quite? Most of it?”

“He's still pretty mad, and I'm not sure if the whole “I don't want help” junk hit his soft spot or made him more upset, but he has unblocked you, and that's the most important part!”

“…Is it?”

---

Sunday morning came, and Dave woke up somewhat early considering his very late time going to sleep. He walked outside his room and noticed Jade. He nudged her awake.

“Hey, Jade?”

“Dave?”

“What's today?”

“Uhh… Sunday!”

“You've been here the whole weekend, right? I mean, I handed your ass in some game, didn't I?”

Jade latched onto Dave tightly. “That's right! You're remembering things!”

Dave ran off to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Jade followed and saw Dave as his expression of anticipation turn into disappointment.

“Dammit… Jade, don't ever get a bro's hopes up.”

Dave could barely muster himself up to give Jade even a wave goodbye that evening. As much as his desire to stay calm and cool fought, it had been defeated with gloom.