MSPA fan-fiction

[Raccoon]

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Distortion Chapter 7

They had come to visit Dave the next day, though no one said a word. It was more out of courtesy than actually liking Dave at the moment. The incident was quickly forgotten in Dave's memory, though he could sort of feel that something had happened just yesterday causing his friends and sibling's coldness. They had stayed for only half-an-hour, before saying their goodbyes, with Rose and Jade mentioning they would be on Pesterchum, and John saying he would return the next weekend. It creeped Dave out to see even Jade not her usual, peppy self.

He hadn't noticed when he had forgotten about it.

Wednesday or Thursday the next week, after intensive physical care for the pathogen responsible, he went home to Bro's apartment. Despite having very temporary memory and significant memory loss, Dave finally had Bro pinned down by his cap, shades, and general mannerisms, as well as the somehow stuck memory of smuppets. So it surprised Dave when he didn't see a single one when he entered and was shown to his old room. It was quite nice, though somewhat disturbing. Dave turned in for the night sometime later, but had forgotten where his room was, and had went into his Bro's room, with the entire smuppet collection crammed in.

“Ironic that I should take your comments to heart.”

Dave didn't know what Bro had meant, but simply rolled with it. He took a shower the next morning, and happened to glance at himself in the mirror. This was his first time seeing himself in a mirror since what had happened, and if he had his hair, he might've recognized himself, but the emergency shave and stitchwork gave an already unfamiliar face nothing to go off by. Dave felt his stomach turn, and felt total dread hit his brain. He knows it's him in the mirror, yet it was a total stranger looking back at him.

“Fuck.” Only a tiny bit of solace was taken to the fact that at least his hat kind of gave the vibe of a street soldier kind of thing. It didn't do much, though.

---

Dave was silently working on one of his remixes. Somehow, trying to ignore the fact that his memory would drop how he was trying to remix a song and even forget what he was remixing in the first place wasn't working out. But he had woken up early in the morning and found what he surmised was a work in progress on his computer desktop when he couldn't get back to sleep. That was 4 AM, and it was now 2 PM. Bro had returned from shooting a collaborative smuppet film, and ninja'd his way behind Dave, and threw down a wad of cash in front of him.

Dave jumped back a little. “What's this?”

“Three grand, man. Dickhead manager di'int want t' pay you a cent, but me and yo' buds down dere worked out a deal.”

“Bro, whatchu talkin' about?”

“Yo' gig. The one y' almost… uh… anyway, two grand was taken to replace dat turntable y' desecrated wit' yo stomach.”

“I… see…”

“Aren'tchu gonna say thanks t' yo' bro?”

“Uh… yeah. Thanks?” Dave was too confused right then.

“You're welcome, man. Now get ready. Taken you back t' the hospital. They want t' do tests on ya.”

“Fuck.” Dave buried his head in the desk. “No, man. I'd rather not.”

Dave seemed to have forgotten of his Bro's ninja abilities, and without any other protest he had been put into the car. “Shit, man.”

---

Dave forgot what he did in those five hours, but he knew it was five hours he would never get back. They had gotten a report of almost everything to do with Dave, with very long notes concerning which specific aspects of memory was affected. He just wanted to go back to his room and sleep, only because what he was doing before was forgotten, and was feeling unexplainably tired. He had just curled up when his computer was trying to grab his attention. Dave sighed and got up, and noticed an item in his system tray blinking. Pesterchum.

“Goddammit! Fuck!” Dave opened it up and doubleclicked on Jade's flashing chumhandle.

TG: how long have you tried talking to me
GG: for days!!! John said he couldn't make it so im coming over!!!
TG: what. Whats going on is this some of that gaslighting shit cuz theres enough gas to fill a fucking truck
GG: your memory hasn't gotten better???
TG: apparently not
GG: well maybe I can help while im over!! Unless you still think were in ur way >
TG: what no I have no idea why you think I think that
GG: then you still want us over then??
TG: sure why not but you live on hellmurder island how can you get over here?
GG: bec, silly!!! Anyway here I come!!

Dave wasn't sure what was going on, and thought to contact John to ask him just what was going on. He doubleclicked on John's chumhandle, and typed up a message, but when he hit enter, the chatbox displayed the message “[EB] has blocked [TG]. The message cannot be sent.”

“Christ, what got his Twinkies crinkled?” He was going to talk to Rose and see just what happened, but was interrupted with enthusiastic knocking. He got up to open the door, and was instantly squeezed into a hug.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Jesus, you're squishing me!”

Jade let go. “What's up? How are you feeling?”

“Fine, if you take away the fact that I have no idea what I did today, or any other day.”

“Yo, bro! Didja remember t' clean yer stitches there?” A blank response. “Sup, Jade. Couldja help him?”

“Sure!”

Jade grabbed Dave by the wrist and dragged him to the bathroom. Dave plopped down on the toilet seat and watched Jade find a bottle of antiseptic and a clean rag. He fidgeted with his hat.

“What's wrong, Dave? It's not gonna hurt for too long!”

“It's just… I dunno if y' want t' see it. It's kinda gross and shit…”

“I think I can handle it, Dave!” She started putting the pure alcohol onto the rag.

Dave hesitated for a long moment, then caved and took it off. Jade noticed Dave grimacing as the alcohol touched his wound, but was more interested in his reddening cheeks.

“Dave, are you embarassed?”

“A-a little…” Dave was shocked at himself. “I look like a freakin' cancer patient.”

“It's already starting to grow back, Dave! It looks prickly!” Indeed, it was. “Would you rather have cancer?”

“Nah, Jade! I mean, at least I'd die from it than from embarrassment, but still, no.” Dave shoved the hat squarely back on. “I'd rather not have had dis happen, Jade. And I'd rather not have John getting all PMSin' on me.”

“He's pretty mad at you.” A pause. “Rose and I still kinda are.”

“Goddammit, Jade. What the hell did I do?”

“Well, you kinda exploded at us after Bro said he was gonna make you live here, and you said some pretty nasty things to us. You basically said we shouldn't help you and that we'd only be useless.”

“Dat's all?”

“You punched me and knocked me over when I was trying to tell you to not say such things. And then you insulted John really bad when he told you not to do that.”

“…I see…”

“You don't remember any of that?”

“…No…”

Jade made a goofy grin. “Well, Rose and I are over it now, so don't worry about us!”

“I guess John's still bitchin' about it?” Jade nodded. “Shit… I can't even talk to him now. He blocked my ass on Pesterchum!” Dave trudged back to his room.

Jade followed. “I'll talk to him! I'll tell him you're sorry about it and that you take it all back and junk and you'll both be bros again!”

“No… I was kinda right about you guys not helpin' me.”

Jade looked hurt. “Why, Dave? Why wouldn't you want us now?”

“Y'all don't need to see me like dis, man. I only recognize you because of your messy hair, I have nuffin!”

Jade realized what Dave had meant. “You mean you can't recognize yourself?”

“…No.” Dave buried himself in his bedsheets.

“Oh, Dave.” Jade hugged Dave. “We'll be here, and we'll help you get better no matter what!”

“Please stop, Jade. All's I need is some rest, and I'll be back in the game.”

“But Dave…”

Dave gently nudged out of the hug. “Jade, I just need some time alone.”

Jade backed away, to the door. “Okay, Dave. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jade. Please don't tell them anythin' except dat I don't need ‘em.” Jade ever so gently closed the door.

Dave turned over on his stomach, and made a primal, guttural yell into his pillow. It didn't matter if Bro and Jade heard, because he would just forget the event. Jade had heard the cry, and after some consideration, reached out for her lunchtop.

---

Dave fell asleep at around 9 in the evening, but didn't wake up until about 2 PM the next day, but he felt exhausted as all hell. He had no memory of the day before and, as a result, no memory of Jade coming over until she exclaimed he was awake and bellyflopped on him.

“Jade! What are you doing here?!”

“I'm staying for the weekend to help you get better!”

“W-what day is this?”

“Saturday! I came over last night!” Dave stared at her blankly. “Don't worry! I wrote down what happened at the hospital for you!” Dave looked more confused. “Wanna play a board game or something?”

“We don't have any board games, Jade.”

“Don't worry! I brought some!” She showed the selection. “Come on! It'll get your mind off of forgetting!”

Dave knew Jade would be persistent, so he just picked a game at random. Monopoly. It took all day, but he ultimately won by Jade's amazingly bad luck.

“…Don't I usually lose to you?”

“Yeah!”

“Jade… it ain't cool to take a dive.”

“I didn't. I honestly thought I wouldn't. Maybe I confused one game with another.”

Dave sighed. “Don't matter. Not like I ain't gonna know I won anyway.” Jade failed to interject. “But it's just some stupid board game. It ain't like dere's a message to it.”

“Why would there be?”

“I dunno, Jade.”

“Oh hey, messages! I talked to John last night! He said he's not quite as mad with you since I said you sounded sorry about most of it.”

“Quite? Most of it?”

“He's still pretty mad, and I'm not sure if the whole “I don't want help” junk hit his soft spot or made him more upset, but he has unblocked you, and that's the most important part!”

“…Is it?”

---

Sunday morning came, and Dave woke up somewhat early considering his very late time going to sleep. He walked outside his room and noticed Jade. He nudged her awake.

“Hey, Jade?”

“Dave?”

“What's today?”

“Uhh… Sunday!”

“You've been here the whole weekend, right? I mean, I handed your ass in some game, didn't I?”

Jade latched onto Dave tightly. “That's right! You're remembering things!”

Dave ran off to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Jade followed and saw Dave as his expression of anticipation turn into disappointment.

“Dammit… Jade, don't ever get a bro's hopes up.”

Dave could barely muster himself up to give Jade even a wave goodbye that evening. As much as his desire to stay calm and cool fought, it had been defeated with gloom.

Never stop writing. This is incredible,just like all your other stories

[Lehana]

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Distortion Chapter 7

They had come to visit Dave the next day, though no one said a word. It was more out of courtesy than actually liking Dave at the moment. The incident was quickly forgotten in Dave's memory, though he could sort of feel that something had happened just yesterday causing his friends and sibling's coldness. They had stayed for only half-an-hour, before saying their goodbyes, with Rose and Jade mentioning they would be on Pesterchum, and John saying he would return the next weekend. It creeped Dave out to see even Jade not her usual, peppy self.

He hadn't noticed when he had forgotten about it.

Wednesday or Thursday the next week, after intensive physical care for the pathogen responsible, he went home to Bro's apartment. Despite having very temporary memory and significant memory loss, Dave finally had Bro pinned down by his cap, shades, and general mannerisms, as well as the somehow stuck memory of smuppets. So it surprised Dave when he didn't see a single one when he entered and was shown to his old room. It was quite nice, though somewhat disturbing. Dave turned in for the night sometime later, but had forgotten where his room was, and had went into his Bro's room, with the entire smuppet collection crammed in.

“Ironic that I should take your comments to heart.”

Dave didn't know what Bro had meant, but simply rolled with it. He took a shower the next morning, and happened to glance at himself in the mirror. This was his first time seeing himself in a mirror since what had happened, and if he had his hair, he might've recognized himself, but the emergency shave and stitchwork gave an already unfamiliar face nothing to go off by. Dave felt his stomach turn, and felt total dread hit his brain. He knows it's him in the mirror, yet it was a total stranger looking back at him.

“Fuck.” Only a tiny bit of solace was taken to the fact that at least his hat kind of gave the vibe of a street soldier kind of thing. It didn't do much, though.

---

Dave was silently working on one of his remixes. Somehow, trying to ignore the fact that his memory would drop how he was trying to remix a song and even forget what he was remixing in the first place wasn't working out. But he had woken up early in the morning and found what he surmised was a work in progress on his computer desktop when he couldn't get back to sleep. That was 4 AM, and it was now 2 PM. Bro had returned from shooting a collaborative smuppet film, and ninja'd his way behind Dave, and threw down a wad of cash in front of him.

Dave jumped back a little. “What's this?”

“Three grand, man. Dickhead manager di'int want t' pay you a cent, but me and yo' buds down dere worked out a deal.”

“Bro, whatchu talkin' about?”

“Yo' gig. The one y' almost… uh… anyway, two grand was taken to replace dat turntable y' desecrated wit' yo stomach.”

“I… see…”

“Aren'tchu gonna say thanks t' yo' bro?”

“Uh… yeah. Thanks?” Dave was too confused right then.

“You're welcome, man. Now get ready. Taken you back t' the hospital. They want t' do tests on ya.”

“Fuck.” Dave buried his head in the desk. “No, man. I'd rather not.”

Dave seemed to have forgotten of his Bro's ninja abilities, and without any other protest he had been put into the car. “Shit, man.”

---

Dave forgot what he did in those five hours, but he knew it was five hours he would never get back. They had gotten a report of almost everything to do with Dave, with very long notes concerning which specific aspects of memory was affected. He just wanted to go back to his room and sleep, only because what he was doing before was forgotten, and was feeling unexplainably tired. He had just curled up when his computer was trying to grab his attention. Dave sighed and got up, and noticed an item in his system tray blinking. Pesterchum.

“Goddammit! Fuck!” Dave opened it up and doubleclicked on Jade's flashing chumhandle.

TG: how long have you tried talking to me
GG: for days!!! John said he couldn't make it so im coming over!!!
TG: what. Whats going on is this some of that gaslighting shit cuz theres enough gas to fill a fucking truck
GG: your memory hasn't gotten better???
TG: apparently not
GG: well maybe I can help while im over!! Unless you still think were in ur way >
TG: what no I have no idea why you think I think that
GG: then you still want us over then??
TG: sure why not but you live on hellmurder island how can you get over here?
GG: bec, silly!!! Anyway here I come!!

Dave wasn't sure what was going on, and thought to contact John to ask him just what was going on. He doubleclicked on John's chumhandle, and typed up a message, but when he hit enter, the chatbox displayed the message “[EB] has blocked [TG]. The message cannot be sent.”

“Christ, what got his Twinkies crinkled?” He was going to talk to Rose and see just what happened, but was interrupted with enthusiastic knocking. He got up to open the door, and was instantly squeezed into a hug.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Jesus, you're squishing me!”

Jade let go. “What's up? How are you feeling?”

“Fine, if you take away the fact that I have no idea what I did today, or any other day.”

“Yo, bro! Didja remember t' clean yer stitches there?” A blank response. “Sup, Jade. Couldja help him?”

“Sure!”

Jade grabbed Dave by the wrist and dragged him to the bathroom. Dave plopped down on the toilet seat and watched Jade find a bottle of antiseptic and a clean rag. He fidgeted with his hat.

“What's wrong, Dave? It's not gonna hurt for too long!”

“It's just… I dunno if y' want t' see it. It's kinda gross and shit…”

“I think I can handle it, Dave!” She started putting the pure alcohol onto the rag.

Dave hesitated for a long moment, then caved and took it off. Jade noticed Dave grimacing as the alcohol touched his wound, but was more interested in his reddening cheeks.

“Dave, are you embarassed?”

“A-a little…” Dave was shocked at himself. “I look like a freakin' cancer patient.”

“It's already starting to grow back, Dave! It looks prickly!” Indeed, it was. “Would you rather have cancer?”

“Nah, Jade! I mean, at least I'd die from it than from embarrassment, but still, no.” Dave shoved the hat squarely back on. “I'd rather not have had dis happen, Jade. And I'd rather not have John getting all PMSin' on me.”

“He's pretty mad at you.” A pause. “Rose and I still kinda are.”

“Goddammit, Jade. What the hell did I do?”

“Well, you kinda exploded at us after Bro said he was gonna make you live here, and you said some pretty nasty things to us. You basically said we shouldn't help you and that we'd only be useless.”

“Dat's all?”

“You punched me and knocked me over when I was trying to tell you to not say such things. And then you insulted John really bad when he told you not to do that.”

“…I see…”

“You don't remember any of that?”

“…No…”

Jade made a goofy grin. “Well, Rose and I are over it now, so don't worry about us!”

“I guess John's still bitchin' about it?” Jade nodded. “Shit… I can't even talk to him now. He blocked my ass on Pesterchum!” Dave trudged back to his room.

Jade followed. “I'll talk to him! I'll tell him you're sorry about it and that you take it all back and junk and you'll both be bros again!”

“No… I was kinda right about you guys not helpin' me.”

Jade looked hurt. “Why, Dave? Why wouldn't you want us now?”

“Y'all don't need to see me like dis, man. I only recognize you because of your messy hair, I have nuffin!”

Jade realized what Dave had meant. “You mean you can't recognize yourself?”

“…No.” Dave buried himself in his bedsheets.

“Oh, Dave.” Jade hugged Dave. “We'll be here, and we'll help you get better no matter what!”

“Please stop, Jade. All's I need is some rest, and I'll be back in the game.”

“But Dave…”

Dave gently nudged out of the hug. “Jade, I just need some time alone.”

Jade backed away, to the door. “Okay, Dave. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jade. Please don't tell them anythin' except dat I don't need ‘em.” Jade ever so gently closed the door.

Dave turned over on his stomach, and made a primal, guttural yell into his pillow. It didn't matter if Bro and Jade heard, because he would just forget the event. Jade had heard the cry, and after some consideration, reached out for her lunchtop.

---

Dave fell asleep at around 9 in the evening, but didn't wake up until about 2 PM the next day, but he felt exhausted as all hell. He had no memory of the day before and, as a result, no memory of Jade coming over until she exclaimed he was awake and bellyflopped on him.

“Jade! What are you doing here?!”

“I'm staying for the weekend to help you get better!”

“W-what day is this?”

“Saturday! I came over last night!” Dave stared at her blankly. “Don't worry! I wrote down what happened at the hospital for you!” Dave looked more confused. “Wanna play a board game or something?”

“We don't have any board games, Jade.”

“Don't worry! I brought some!” She showed the selection. “Come on! It'll get your mind off of forgetting!”

Dave knew Jade would be persistent, so he just picked a game at random. Monopoly. It took all day, but he ultimately won by Jade's amazingly bad luck.

“…Don't I usually lose to you?”

“Yeah!”

“Jade… it ain't cool to take a dive.”

“I didn't. I honestly thought I wouldn't. Maybe I confused one game with another.”

Dave sighed. “Don't matter. Not like I ain't gonna know I won anyway.” Jade failed to interject. “But it's just some stupid board game. It ain't like dere's a message to it.”

“Why would there be?”

“I dunno, Jade.”

“Oh hey, messages! I talked to John last night! He said he's not quite as mad with you since I said you sounded sorry about most of it.”

“Quite? Most of it?”

“He's still pretty mad, and I'm not sure if the whole “I don't want help” junk hit his soft spot or made him more upset, but he has unblocked you, and that's the most important part!”

“…Is it?”

---

Sunday morning came, and Dave woke up somewhat early considering his very late time going to sleep. He walked outside his room and noticed Jade. He nudged her awake.

“Hey, Jade?”

“Dave?”

“What's today?”

“Uhh… Sunday!”

“You've been here the whole weekend, right? I mean, I handed your ass in some game, didn't I?”

Jade latched onto Dave tightly. “That's right! You're remembering things!”

Dave ran off to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Jade followed and saw Dave as his expression of anticipation turn into disappointment.

“Dammit… Jade, don't ever get a bro's hopes up.”

Dave could barely muster himself up to give Jade even a wave goodbye that evening. As much as his desire to stay calm and cool fought, it had been defeated with gloom.

Awesome story. I've been reading a long so far and I really like where this is going. I must be a horrible person because I really enjoy seeing characters I like in horrible situations.

It also makes me want to write something myself.

[Aerok12]

Ch.1
Ch.5

Alandoned: Chapter 6

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Minutes in the past, but not many...

"What are you doing?"
"Nothing, mom, just, uh, taking out the trash for you."
"Hmm. Alright. It's good to see you respecting your elders for once. Hop to it."

The elder dragon spat at Patty with an air of supremacy that gave her chills. She begrudgingly took the can to the outside bin, and tossed all but one tissue in. She brought the can back to her mother's room, receiving a condescending "thank you" in response. But she got what she wanted.

Pat walked back to her room, used tissue in her pocket, and discovered that her room had been trashed to make room for all the machines. She dismissed them and began the ritual needed to complete the voodoo doll. She placed the doll in a small circle of ash, and deposited a quantity of the green goo on the head. She stood a white feather on the top, and set it alight with the lighter from her lighterkind strife abstratus. As the feather burned, she placed a black pin into the center of the doll, where her mother's stomach would be. She could hear the sound of retching in the hallway, and a grin of triumph spread across her scaly face.

Content with this outcome, she tossed the doll into the shining purple spirogram in the air.
FLASH
Turning to look, she saw, to her chagrin, her mother glowering down at her, a pin protruding from her head. Looking away, she noticed that the countdown had reached down to 03:15.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 20:17

EG:k gt it
AT:what happened?
EG:lng stry shrt
EG:gt dna
EG:atchd 2 vd dl
EG:gt vdsprt
AT:cool
EG:wo u gna cnct w/
AT:i dunno
AT:maybe pp
AT:hes booky
AT:he can read the rest of this rubbish
EG:tht mt b smrt
AT:yes it is
AT:im the smrtest guy i know
AT:anyway
AT:ill pester him about it
AT:hed probably be too afraid though
AT:coward
EG:ya cwrd
AT:okay see ya
EG:cya

amazingTraveler [AT] ceased pestering excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:20

felineRoyalty [FR] began trolling excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:15

FR:If I may, could I please ask you to not prototype your sprite with that?
FR:Well, that's unfortunate.
EG:wt r u goin on abt
FR:I was preparing to persuade you to avoid prototyping your sprite with that voodoo doll,
FR:As it will indirectly cause an injury to one of your friends,
FR:But it seems that I was too late.
EG:wtf hw dd u no tht
FR:That is none of your business.
FR:Good day.

felineRoyalty [FR] ceased trolling excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:21

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 20:21

EG:hy
DS:Hey, your boyfriend keeps bothering me.
DS:Saying I'm hitting on you.
DS:Could you tell him to stop?
EG:sr
EG:lso
EG:u mit wnt 2 no
EG:sm1 jst trld me
DS:Who?
EG:fr
DS:Oh yeah.
DS:He trolled me too.
DS:Sounds a bit like PP.
EG:ya
EG:nw
EG:cd u plz tl me hw 2 wrk ths sht
EG:thrs a cntdn
EG:wtf ds it mn
DS:The countdown is counting down to when your meteor strikes.
EG:wt
EG:
EG:y ddnt u tl me tht erler
EG:
DS:Because I didn't have the walkthrough then.
DS:Anyway, the machines are simple.
DS:I assume you have a prepunched card somewhere.
EG:ya
DS:What's on it?
EG:a cndl
DS:Well here's what you have to do.

Two minutes later...

Pat looked at her Alchemiter, a tall violet candle sitting on it. The countdown on her Cruxtruder had reached 00:34.

EG:wdid w/ ths
EG:th metrs omst hr
DS:Just do whatever feels natural to you.

Pat looked to the candle, pulling the lighter out of her Sylladex. The plastic felt cool against her sweaty palm. She could see the timer, counting slowly.
*click*
The lighter erupted with flame, ready to set anything alight with searing intensity. She reached over to the candle, blaze dancing before her eyes, as the wax began to liquify. Meteor mere feet away, the wick finally caught with a flash.

------------------------------

Marcus stared as the ground, a chessboard pattern of squares, gently slid over and under each other in an eternal dance. He was hesitant to step on one, in case it was one that moves underneath, and he didn't want to be on it when that happens. But he needed to progress, and navigating this land was the only way to do so.

Finally mustering up the courage to step off the safety of his front porch, he tentatively stepped onto one of the squares. It swiftly moved away from the house, dragging him along with it, and knocking him down. He promptly stood up and swung his new bat at a headless ogre flying towards him. The hit collided with a sudden bang, and the ogre was sent soaring.

Wow.

He rested on the square for several more minutes as it took him farther away from his house. Somehow it seemed to "know" where to take him. A little while longer, he glanced to his right, and noticed a monumental bluish wall rising up. And he was headed right for it! He pulled out his cellphone, and began to text.

doubtfulStrongman [DS] began pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 20:35

DS:Nate!
DS:There's this huge blue wall here!
DS:What do I do?!
RE:cnat hlp
RE:bsy
RE:ht it
RE:ow
RE:tht mthrfcker stbed my leg
DS:Oh my god!
DS:Are you okay?
RE:fin
RE:jst a nedle
RE:dot wory
DS:Alright, I'll try hitting it.
DS:Might work
DS:This bat is "magic" after all.
DS:But please stay safe.
DS:I worry about you, you know.
RE:yeh i know
RE:i lov you 2
RE:ota go

randomEngineer [RE] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 20:39

Oh man, stabbed in the leg? That's gotta hurt.

Marcus looked on as the wall slowly came closer. He readied his bat at his shoulder, and swung.
*CRASH*
Marc watched as the entire wall turned to dust, cracks radiating out from the impact point, and subsequently dissolving.

Oh. Mai. Gawd. This bat is teh ossomest thing evar.
Wait, what is that? OH MY GOD.

Looming above him, beyond the now-destroyed wall, was a monstrous mound of earth, smaller mounds crawling around it like bees around a nest. And Marc was getting closer.

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I don't actually know anything about voodoo, so I don't know if that "ritual" was accurate or not.
Also, I'm trying to use more metaphors and similes, but I'm being all aspergery about them.
Alsox2, I think, aside from the previous statement, my writing style is definitely improving.

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Alsox3, check out what I did in school today! Somehow, I developed some sort of artistic talent. It's still not that good, but I know you guys won't judge.


I guess I can draw sometimes? Please ignore the obviously edited needle-leg, and the fail perspective.
Yeah, they're hard to see. If you can't read them, the top one says, on the bottom, "FS> Enjoy your new home." and the basilisk in the bottom picture is a bronze basilisk. I got lazy with the wires near the end, but I don't really care.

Ch.7

[I-gor]

Gabu, Distortion is still awesome. I really want to see how it turns out.

Aerok-Keep churning those segments out. I'm enjoying them.

Troll Log 3, Part IV

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grimAuxiliatrix: No, I Could Probably Figure Out What The Person Is Connoting My Pet Name For The "Experience" To
ectoBiologist: like what?
grimAuxiliatrix: I Didn't Follow The Kubler Ross Model
grimAuxiliatrix: And Yes I Know What We're Both Talking About
grimAuxiliatrix: But It Was More "Confusion" Than "Acceptance"
adiosToreador: yEAH RIGHT
grimAuxiliatrix: Yes Right
ectoBiologist: so wait
ectoBiologist: i'm not sure i understand here
grimAuxiliatrix: What Is It You Don't Understand?
ectoBiologist: i thought you two were
ectoBiologist: uh
ectoBiologist: uh
gallowsCalibrator: 1 TH1NK JOHN'S WOND3R1NG 1F YOU 4ND 4T 4R3 GO1NG OUT Y3T OR NOT
ectoBiologist: yeah
grimAuxiliatrix: I Am Here
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Know If AT Is As Advanced In Time As I.
carcinoGeneticist: I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S ENVIOUS OF HIS FUTURE SELF
adiosToreador: i DOUBT THAT hAPPENS
carcinoGeneticist: WHATEVER MAN
gallowsCalibrator: W41T SO WH3N 4R3 YOU 4T
gallowsCalibrator: D1D G4 B34T YOU UP Y3T?
gallowsCalibrator: >:]
ectoBiologist: oh yeah that was funny
grimAuxiliatrix: Hmm?
adiosToreador: ta JUST LET ME BACK ON THE tERMINALS
adiosToreador: hE KICKED ME OFF WHEN i RUINED THE PROTOTYPE YESTERDAY
grimAuxiliatrix has left.
adiosToreador has left.
grimAuxiliatrix has joined.
adiosToreador has joined.
carcinoGeneticist: I CAN ONLY GUESS THAT'S AT BUMBLING AROUND WITH THE SERVERS AGAIN
carcinoGeneticist: WHY TA LETS YOU USE ANY COMPUTER BESIDES "ETCH-A-SKETCH FOR LARVAE" IS BEYOND ME
adiosToreador: mAYBE BECASUE iM HIS FRIEND?
carcinoGeneticist: YOU?
grimAuxiliatrix: That's A Bit Of A Stretch
grimAuxiliatrix: I Don't Think He Warms Up To You Any Time Soon
gallowsCalibrator: JUST Y3ST3RD4Y YOU L1T H1S P3RSON4L L4PTOP ON F1R3
grimAuxiliatrix: Just Yesterday As In When?
ectoBiologist: was it on windows or something?
gallowsCalibrator: Y3ST3RD4Y
adiosToreador: i DONT THINK iVE DONE THAT YET
gallowsCalibrator: H4RD TO T3LL W1TH TH3 T1M3L3SS EXP4NC3 4ND T1M3 TR4V3L 4ND 4LL
adiosToreador: hOW DO YOU KNOW i DO THAT
carcinoGeneticist: AT
carcinoGeneticist: SHE'S IN THE FUTURE
carcinoGeneticist: SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW
adiosToreador: hOW iS sHE TALKING BACKWARDS?
carcinoGeneticist: I REFUSE TO DIGNIFY THAT QUESTION WITH AN ANSWER
grimAuxiliatrix: This Application You Have Can Allow You Talk To Someone Any Time In Their Past Or Future
adiosToreador: rEALLY? hOW?
ectoBiologist: thats awesome
ectoBiologist: can you send me a copy?
grimAuxiliatrix: You Hadn't Ascertained That Yet John?
ectoBiologist: well
ectoBiologist: uh
ectoBiologist: maybe
gallowsCalibrator: H3 M34NS NO
grimAuxiliatrix: You Thought We Were Kidding About Being In Different Points In Time?
adiosToreador: wAIT i FIGURED IT OUT
ectoBiologist: well i thought
ectoBiologist: i thought it was a pretty good prank actually
adiosToreador: hMM ALL THESE PEOPLE Cg SAID i SHOULD TROLL
adiosToreador: wHO DO i START WITH?
ectoBiologist: i dunno
ectoBiologist: like you still haven't tried trolling me yet
carcinoGeneticist: TRY DAVE.
adiosToreador: wHICH ONE IS dAVE?
grimAuxiliatrix: TG
carcinoGeneticist: I'M SURE HE'LL BE FRIENDLY AND NOT TRAUMATIZING IN THE LEAST.
gallowsCalibrator: YE4H!
gallowsCalibrator: H3H3H3H3
adiosToreador: aLRIGHT i'LL TRY THAT
adiosToreador is now an Idle Chum.
ectoBiologist: that doesn't sound like a good idea
grimAuxiliatrix: I Kind Of Feel Bad For Doing That
grimAuxiliatrix: But Only Just
tentacleTherapist has joined.
tentacleTherapist: Hello to all.
adiosToreador: oH
adiosToreador: oH GOD
ectoBiologist: hey rose
tentacleTherapist: Hello John.
carcinoGeneticist: OH WAIT THIS IS GOLD
grimAuxiliatrix: It Appears AT Discovered What Counter Trolling Is Like
adiosToreador: tHIS IS
adiosToreador: uMM
adiosToreador: dISTURBING?
adiosToreador: i THINK THAT IS THE WORD
tentacleTherapist: What is?
adiosToreador: tHIS "Tg" GUY
adiosToreador: wHAT, WHAT IS hE TALKING ABOUT NOW?
tentacleTherapist: Dave? Wouldn't ever have dreamed of it.
adiosToreador: aAAAAAUGH
adiosToreador: hE TALKS ALOT
adiosToreador: aND ITS HURTFUL
ectoBiologist: im sure that's just being ironic
adiosToreador: wHATS IRONY?
gallowsCalibrator: 1TS 4 ST33L
grimAuxiliatrix: Poor Man's Sarcasm
gallowsCalibrator: FROM TH3 B4RG41N B4S3M3NT
adiosToreador: hEY i LIVED IN THE bARGAIN bASEMENT FOR THREE YEARS AND SAW NO "IRONY"
tentacleTherapist: I'm not sure whether to be appalled by the pun or astonished that an alien culture would have them in the first place.
ectoBiologist: i know
ectoBiologist: isn't that ironic?
gallowsCalibrator: >:/
ectoBiologist: dave does that better than i do though
grimAuxiliatrix: How Did They Let You Live In The Bargain Basement?
grimAuxiliatrix: I Could Imagine They'd Tell You To Leave
gallowsCalibrator: NO C3NTS WH4TSO3V3R
tentacleTherapist: Again with the puns.
adiosToreador: i HID IN THE dISCOUNT sELF hELP BOOKS SECTION
tentacleTherapist: Are you always like this?
adiosToreador: nO ONE LOOKED
grimAuxiliatrix: She Is When She Is Slowly Descending Into A Fit Of Hysterics
adiosToreador: uMM THIS gUY DOESNT STOP TALKING DOES HE,
grimAuxiliatrix: No, I Would Venture He Doesn't
adiosToreador: sHOULD i TRY BLOCKING hIM?
carcinoGeneticist: NAH
carcinoGeneticist: HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.
grimAuxiliatrix: Try Trolling Him
adiosToreador: i GUESS i WILL TRY TROLLING HIM
ectoBiologist: that's not going to work
adiosToreador: uMMM hE IS JUST TALKING HARDER NOW
grimAuxiliatrix: How Does One "Talk Hard?"
adiosToreador: i DUNNO
ectoBiologist: it's like being robert ritter in "clear and present danger"
ectoBiologist: man that movie was awesome
grimAuxiliatrix: Equating It To Earth Movies Does Not Do It Justice
grimAuxiliatrix: He Really Doesn't Know When To Shut Up
carcinoGeneticist: WHO?
carcinoGeneticist: DAVE OR AT?
turntechGodhead has joined.
grimAuxiliatrix: That Guy
carcinoGeneticist: I SEE
ectoBiologist: sup dave?
turntechGodhead: oh so its a party in here
turntechGodhead: and my friends are invited i guess
tentacleTherapist: Yes.
turntechGodhead: what are you guys doing in here?
ectoBiologist: crashing the party
turntechGodhead: so they were trolling you too then
ectoBiologist: something like that
turntechGodhead: id admire their tenacity if they werent all so shitty at this
tentacleTherapist: I'm inclined to agree.
grimAuxiliatrix: You Said Some Of Us Weren't So Terrible
grimAuxiliatrix: At Trolling That Is.
turntechGodhead: fuck that
turntechGodhead: you guys are worse than a crow or something
gallowsCalibrator: >:\
turntechGodhead: i could literally have a harder time arguing politics with a crow
gallowsCalibrator: 4ND H4V3 YOU 4RGU3D STUP1D HUM4N POL1T1CS W1TH 4N 34RTH CORV1N3 CR34TUR3?
turntechGodhead: no
turntechGodhead: what
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 YOURS3LF?
turntechGodhead: i haven't seen a crow for weeks
grimAuxiliatrix: Are You Blind?
gallowsCalibrator: H3Y
grimAuxiliatrix: Because I Could See Crows In Your Room Earlier
grimAuxiliatrix: No Offense GC
turntechGodhead: how the fuck were you looking in my room?
gallowsCalibrator: NON3 T4K3N
gallowsCalibrator: 1 GU3SS
turntechGodhead: i dont even own a webcam
gallowsCalibrator: >:_
grimAuxiliatrix: I Think It Doesn't Matter When I'm Using A Time Hopping Device
turntechGodhead: what did i just fall into the fucking twilight zone
tentacleTherapist: That seems illogical.
turntechGodhead: time hopping device
turntechGodhead: where did you get that?
ectoBiologist: thats what i was asking earlier
turntechGodhead: secret crackpot home depot or something
ectoBiologist: or maybe some weird alchemy or something
turntechGodhead: alchemy?
turntechGodhead: what is this the medieval ages?
adiosToreador: hOW DID YOU FOLLOW mE, i BLOCKED YOU
turntechGodhead: you didnt block me
ectoBiologist: he has a friend
turntechGodhead: you put your status as "away"
ectoBiologist: he has all the numbers
turntechGodhead: this room doesnt even have security
turntechGodhead: you could have secured the room or something
tentacleTherapist: Yes.
turntechGodhead: to avoid getting trolled
tentacleTherapist: The security on this room is dismal, if not downright nonexistent.
grimAuxiliatrix: How Ironic, We Are Being Trolled
carcinoGeneticist: HEY, YOU'RE LEARNING
turntechGodhead: took you long to notice
turntechGodhead: what else are you going to do
turntechGodhead: infect our computers with viruses that break the computer that made it?
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S NOT LIKE WE CAN PLANT ANY INCRIMINATING DOCUMENTS ON YOU OR ANYTHING
turntechGodhead: well the only really possible things you could have against me are likely some shitty counter trolling i did
turntechGodhead: i just bleated like a goat to scare one of you off
ectoBiologist: i remember
ectoBiologist: you blew them away from the future one time
turntechGodhead: what
ectoBiologist: like cg had a document of you being awesome in the future
carcinoGeneticist: WHAT
turntechGodhead: you actually believe they are magical time travelers or something
carcinoGeneticist: NO I DIDN'T
carcinoGeneticist: YOU SURE?
grimAuxiliatrix: Well Aren't You Technically A Time Traveler?
grimAuxiliatrix: Being The Knight Of Time Or Such
turntechGodhead: okay now you arent even trying
turntechGodhead: knight of time?
tentacleTherapist: Listen to what she's saying, Galahad.
ectoBiologist: whose galahad?
tentacleTherapist: Never mind.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Inspired by a conversation on pesterlite. Rose is dared by Dave to write Zazzerpan slash-fic.

"Zazzerpan approached Smarny's elder sister confidently. He had more than recovered in his previous pursuit of her fancy and had come prepared. A single boquet of Roses lay hidden behind his back as he confidently knocked on her door. The knock was one of conviction and its strong pounding matched that of his heart. Though resolute, Zazzerpan still held slight fear of the repercussions of another courtship error. This is because he did rather poorly last time and should be pretty self evident. Eldrass opened the door before Zazzerpan. Taken by the beauty he saw before him, the boqeut of Roses fell from Zazzerpan's grip. A single Rose survived this fall and lay open on the path while the others rolled away. This single Rose bore witness before Zazzerpan as he made his advance. So taken, Zazzerpan could hardly restrain himself. The gentle curve of Eldrass's bossom was...."

Rose: Burns paper

[gardenGenosse]

Rose will never know how much she has denied the world.

I mean I was totally gonna try some cliche speculating about what her journal held, but it looks like we all missed that boat. All our ideas about her writing are crushed under the infallible black boot of canon.

Unless her journal has more pages, of course. Or she has a third one tucked away that John didn't get at.

[Aerok12]

What am I doing, writing this early in the morning? Something's wrongright with me.

Ch.1
Ch.6

Alandoned: Chapter 7

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Back in the future...

FS rests as her bunker rolls along the sandy terrain. She looked behind her, and found that she was riding alongside the ocean. In the corner of the screen, she noticed a speck of white. She assumed that is was just a bug, at least, until it came fully into her view, and she discovered that it was in fact a large four-wheeled vehicle, following her!

FS began to panic. Who knew what could be in there? And it was gaining! Suddenly, she felt momentum pull her forward as the terminal stopped. The door behind her opened with a swoosh, and the scent of seawater wafted past the smell receptor in the center of her pale face with a cool breeze brushing lightly against her carapace. She grabbed her trusted rucksack, loaded with food and drink, in case she couldn't return for a while. She tentatively stepped out, looking down to the beach several meters below. She glanced up to find a ladder leading up to the roof of the round base. Climbing up, she peeked over to the car next to her. It had stopped as well.

She continued up to the top, scuffling to her feet on the sloping dome. She watched the sight of her new home, seas at her back, her few remaining bandages whipping in the wind, staff-held satchel dangling over her shoulder.* Shifting her view to her right, she observed as a cap on top of the car opened, and a strange black creature appeared.

--------------------------------

Hours in the past, but not many...

A SANGUINE ARTISAN explored the vast desert. He didn't know what he was searching for, but he kept going, hopeful for a new beginning. As he paced, he noticed a hint of light on the bloody horizon. He sprinted forward, stomach empty, but filled to the brim with promise and optimism. When he finally reached it, half an hour later, he slowly walked over, intimidated by the colossal pillar. He was about to reach it, when he felt a deep rumbling. Fearfully gazing upwards, he found a white boulder barreling towards him from above!

Ducking to the left, SA narrowly missed being crushed to death by the huge ball. It landed with a loud crash, and began rolling away from the tower. SA sat, aiming to get his breath back. He could feel his heart pumping, as he stood up and surveyed his surroundings. The only noteworthy thing around was the tower, and that was, wait what was that? He spotted a small white dune, contrasting the normal rust color of the rest of the world.

He walked over to the dune, only to discover that it was not a dune, but a large automobile, half buried. Near what he approximated to be the center of the machine was a small hatch, nearly submerged in the ground. SA opened the hatch, and stepped inside.

Within the odd contraption was a bunch of computers, one displaying an unusual being, appearing to be a person made completely of mobile water, in the middle of a torrential downpour. He also noticed a keyboard by the floor. He gently made his way over to the computer screen, as the car was buried with a somewhat steep incline. When he finally reached the computer, he managed to type a single question.

What is that?
It happens to be a creature known as a Gharhig.

The screen flared with bright white energy as the computer exploded, knocking the car out of the dirt, and it started to run, driving in the same direction as that ball-shaped machine. SA looked out the window at the front of the car, watching the scene rush by as he felt his own sweat roll down his cheek. He could barely see the ball in the distance.

A few hours later, he was gaining on the spherical mechanism, when it suddenly stopped. SA ducked fearing that he was going to crash into it. Luckily, he wasn't flattened, but was still sent tumbling with the immediate stop. When he regained his composure, he climbed out the hatch he had entered from, slowly pushing it open, fearing the worst.

SA was startled by the crisp ocean breeze, squinting when he got salt blown into his eyes. He looked up to the top of the ball, seeing a strange white being staring down at him.

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@I-Gor, thanks, that's nice to hear! Your Troll-logs are excellent, if a little confusing.
*Yeah, I just wanted to make that last image canon.

Ch.8

[Vinni]

Ok, I don't read too much the work of the users here, and I'm not a good writer (english was not my first language) but I will do a Pesterlog.

GC's Love

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-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --
CG: GC.
CG: JOHN JUST TOLD ME YOU WERE HELPING HIM.
CG: THIS IS THE COMPLETE REVERSE OF WHAT YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY BE DOING.
CG: DOES YOUR STUPID LITTLE GIRLY BRAIN NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE PLANNED?
CG: WE HAVE TO DESTROY THEM.
GC: SHUT UP CG >:O
GC: 1 DONT W4NT TO K1LL HIM
CG: WHAT THE POOL OF BOVINE DIARRHEA ARE YOU THINKING.
CG: OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO KILL HIM.
CG: OR ELSE WE WILL BE TRAPPED ON THIS BUNCH OF STUPID METEORS FOREVER.
GC: 1 ST1LL WONT K1LL H1M
CG: OK THEN.
CG: WE ARE GOING TO KILL THEM OURSELVES.
CG: AND YOU ARE GOING TO STAY HERE LIKE THE STUPID PILE OF STUPID YOU ARE WANT.
CG: AND WE ARE GOING TO ENJOY LIBERTY.
GC: NOTH1NG YOU S4Y W1LL M4K3 M3 TRY TO K1LL JOHN
CG: WELL THEN COULD YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN ME WHY YOU'RE BEING SO STUPID.
GC: 1 DONT KNOW
GC: 1...
GC: 1 TH1NK 1 LOV3 H1M... <:\
CG: WHAT.
CG: WOW GC YOU SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.
CG: I AM SERIOUSLY LAUGHING AT WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME.
GC: 1 4M S3R1OUS 4BOUT TH4T >
CG: FOR GOD'S SAKE GC.
CG: OH WAIT THAT STUPID THEORY OF HOW THE WORLD WAS CREATED ONLY EXISTS ON THOSE STUPID HUMANS' MINDS.
CG: BUT ANYWAYS YOU ARE SERIOUSLY STUPID.
CG: JOHN IS ONE OF THOSE PRIMITIVE HUMANS.
CG: AND YOU ARE AN ALIEN.
CG: HE WILL NEVER BE ON YOUR SIDE.
CG: BECAUSE YOU ARE UGLY.
CG: TO BOTH HUMANS AND ALIENS.
GC: SHUT TH3 FUCK UP >:O
CG: YOU ARE JUST IGNORING THE TRUTH AND TRYING TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
CG: CAN'T YOU PUT THIS INSIDE YOUR RETARDED HUMAN-LOVING BRAIN?
GC: ............
CG: HAHA WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
CG: NOW INSTEAD OF LEETSPEAKING YOU ARE WRITING WITH PERIODS.
CG: STOP BEING SO STUPIDLY RETARDED.
CG: JOHN WILL NEVER LOVE YOU. THE END.
CG: NOW GO AND KILL HIM LIKE WE PLANNED.
GC: OK4Y...
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

[Aerok12]

Hey, look, two in a row. I'm on fire today. I feel kind of bad about crowding everyone else out, though, but I just can't stop!

Ch.1
Ch.7

Alandoned: Chapter 8

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looking upon an ever-changing world
stormy seas to searing deserts
icy tundras to rolling plains
the ground under my feet
to vaporizing magma

forgetfulHistorian [FH] began pestering excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:17

FH:Hey
FH:You
EG:wt
EG:im bsy
FH:Don't leave home
FH:Too dangerous
EG:ya wtvr
FH:Please
FH:Trust me
EG:k
EG:sr
EG:y nt
FH:Thank you

forgetfulHistorian [FH] ceased pestering excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:18

Whatever.

Pat's not gonna listen to her. She doesn't have time for that psycho clairvoyant bullshit. She's gonna go outside right now. Nuttin's gonna happen to her. She's just gonna walk right out that do-woah, what?

What the hell?

She looked over the ground. It was changing! Rain clouds were moving over the landscape, as desert sands followed, glaciers and flowery fields growing out the sides. She could almost feel a heat wave come down on her. She walked out the door, glanced left and righ-OH MY GOD! A wave of molten lava was coming straight for her! She instinctively jumped inside and slammed the door shut. She felt sweat drip over her scales, though whether it was from the magma or her own adrenaline was uncertain.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 20:20

EG:cn u c my hse
AT:yeah why
AT:unless you mean your hose
AT:in that case
AT:no
AT:it melted
EG:hy nw
AT:hahaha
AT:
AT:i didn't even mean that
AT:im even subconciously awesome
EG:ya so awsm
EG:bt ya
EG:do u c ths
EG:th clmt thng
AT:i assume you mean climate
AT:yeah i see that
AT:mesmerizing
AT:hang on i have to deal with something

suicidalMirror [SM] began trolling excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:25

SM:yo
SM:you gotta know
SM:sometimes its best to just go with the flow
SM:ride the waves
SM:don't be afraid
SM:take this code
SM:master the change
SM:Du6tFMs3
EG:at is tht u
SM:what no
SM:how do you know at
SM:he shouldnt be able to troll you
EG:fn i no ts u
EG:u cnt fl me
EG:il mk th cd tho
SM:you do that
SM:its heat proof
SM:sweet and aloof
SM:aint gotta worry
SM:just hurry
SM:and scurry
SM:outta this shit
SM:fucking furry
EG:sk ryms fn
EG:bt im 2 smrt 4 u
SM:whoops gotta go
SM:see ya ho
SM:heres your bro

suicidalMirror [SM] ceased trolling excitedGymnast [EG] at 20:28

AT:okay back
EG:ya bk
EG:clrly wsnt jst trlng me
EG:obvisly nt
AT:whaaaat are you talkin bout
AT:i was just taking care of some imps
EG:yp
EG:i no
EG:nting ls
AT:i have no idea what your talking about
AT:but whatever
AT:what did you want to talk to me about
EG:hng on

Pat went back to her room and began to produce the code Fin gave her. When she got to the Alchemiter step, she found that it was a personal metal-shielded boat, but with wheels and treads.

EG:whr dd u gt ths
AT:what
AT:the boat
AT:its not mine
EG:bt u gv me th cde
AT:no i didnt
EG:ys u dd
EG:dnt dny it
EG:ur sm
AT:sm?
AT:no clue
EG:stp it
EG:drp th fcde
EG:
AT:i swear i dont even know who that is
EG:ok im cnfsd
EG:
EG:wts gng on
AT:maybe sm is someone else
AT:i dunno
AT:just a thought
EG:ok fn
EG:i bliv u
EG:stl
EG:wdid w/ ths bt
AT:maybe use it
AT:you know outside
EG:thrs lv tho
AT:maybe the metal is lava proof
EG:sm dd sy ht prf
AT:well push it out then
EG:hy nw
AT:

excitedGymnast [EG] ceased pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 20:39

Patty rolled the boat out her door, and into the foyer. Strangely, her folks hadn't bothered her the entire time she was in this place. She opened the door and found that the magma had been replaced with a frozen tundra. She jumped into the driver's seat, and closed the glass cover. She drove out the door, setting to explore the bizarre new world.

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Yeah, I can't rap. I hope I did Dave okay. I can't do subtle sarcasm, and I couldn't think of any sbahj references.

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Hey I drew something else. It's Patricia's world. I was going to make a GIF out of it, but couldn't be bothered. The title is underneath in a spoiler, in case you want to wait for the story to catch up. It's actually a bit smaller than it should be in comparison to the house, but I wanted to make it visible.

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The Realm of Change and Mutations

Ch.9

[Limot]

So, I did this thing while I was on the phone with my friend. Don't ask me why I thought this up while conversing with a buddy. In fact, don't even think too much on that subject. It's short, and not very good, but it made me laugh. YES I LAUGH AT MY OWN JOKES. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.

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AT: uMMM,
AT: wHAT ARE YOU DOING, GC,
GC: 1'M D3PLOY1NG TH3 SBURB M4CH1N3RY.
GC: 1S TH3R3 4 PROBL3M? >:/
AT: wHY DID YOU PUT THEM IN THE LAKE,
AT: hOW AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THIS SHIT NOW?
GC: 1T SM3LL3D L1K3 COTTON CANDY.
GC: LOOK JUST SH1MMY YOUR SOGGY 4SS INTO TH4T L4K3 4ND G3T TH1S OV3R W1TH
GC: 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR M3T3OR COM1NG 4ND 1T SM3LLS L1K3 D34TH
GC: ... ON S3COND THOUGHT, T4K3 YOUR T1M3. 1 W4S WRONG, TH3 M3T3OR 1S NOWH3R3 N34R YOU Y3T.
AT: tHE CRUXTRUDER SAYS i HAVE 41.3 SECONDS,
GC: NO 1T'S JUST M4LFUNCT1ON1NG FROM TH3 W4TER.
GC: TRUST M3 4T
AT: uMM,
GC: JEGUS, WHY WON'T YOU TRUST 4 BL1ND G1RL. 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR M3T3OR 4ND 1T'S 4T L34ST 4 D4YS 4ND 13 HOURS 4W4Y.
AT: oK i GUESS,,
-adiosToreador has went offline-
GC: H3H3H3 >

Also I'm not going to color code it because I'm a lazy fuck >>

[Tenebrais]

That was quite amusing, Limot.


So, this is it, guys! The fifteenth and final chapter of House Party!

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I woke to find John crouched over me, visibly worried. Either he'd been trying to wake me up or he found my unconscious form to be a particularly comfortable cushion. I am inclined toward the former.
“Rose! Are you alright? You fainted!”
“I know, John,” I replied. “Well. I'm not sure if it was really a faint.”
“What happened?”
“I saw things. Like some sort of really vivid dream. I saw places I've never seen before. Impossible places...”
John helped me into a sitting position, then sat down beside me.
“You mumbled things,” he said. “What did you dream of?”
“Hard to say. I didn't see anything for very long. But it felt more... real... than reality. Hmm. We're late for something...”
“What?”
“You know, what those trolls have been saying? It must be related.” I spotted someone walking toward us. “Oh, hi Dave. Wait...”
It was Dave. And yet it wasn't. He looked... older. A little. Maybe a couple of months at most, if he were living hard. And he hard much sharper clothes on than when I saw him a few minutes ago.
“You're not Dave,” I said.
“Am too,” not-Dave replied.
“You look like him,” John said. “Who are you?”
“Told ya. I'm Dave. Maybe not the Dave you know.” He crouched down to me. “What'd you see, Rose? Tell me everything. Though I bet I could tell you.”
“Go on then,” I challenged. “Tell me.”
“A psychedelic sea. A purple city. A chess planet. Am I warm?”
“Dead on,” I mused. “But you can't be the Dave that just had that same vision.”
“Nope. Like I said, I'm not your Dave. I came back to fix things... guess I failed.” He looked toward the house. Following his gaze, Jade and our Dave were walking out to find us. “Better go,” he said quickly, retrieving a pair of hovering turntables. With a scratch, he vanished.
“What the fuck?” exclaimed John.
“I think I'm starting to get it,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“I'll explain later.” I called out to Jade and Dave. “Hey, over here!”
I walked over to meet them.
“You alright?” Dave asked.
“I am now. I saw what you saw, Dave. It happened to me.”
“So what are you going to do?” Piped up Jade.
“Get some answers. Come on.”

A moment later we were in my bedroom. I had my laptop open on my desk, and was waiting.

carcinoGeneticist has come online.
This was the time.

“Alright,” I typed, “time for you to explain.”
“BEEN WAITING LONG ENOUGH,” came the response. “GOD DAMN. WHY IS YOUR SPECIES SO BAD AT PICKING OUT WHAT IS WRONG?”
“You said we were late,” I continued, ignoring him. “Late for what?”
“LATE ENTERING.”
“What does that mean?”
“YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW YET. YOU'LL KNOW IT WHEN IT HAPPENS. IF IT HAPPENS. IT'S NOT JUST YOU, IT'S YOUR WHOLE PLANET.”
“The planet is going to enter something?”
“NO. GOD DAMN. LISTEN. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A GAME CALLED SBURB?”
I thought for a moment. “I think so. There was some hype about it, but it got cancelled at the last minute for some reason. What's that got to do with it?”
“EVERYTHING. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THAT GAME LAST YEAR. BUT YOU NEVER GOT IT. YOU NEVER ENTERED. WE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HELP US BUT IT JUST SCREWED US OVER EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IF IT ALL WENT PROPERLY.”
“What do you mean?”
“I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU MORONS SO MANY TIMES BEFORE THE TIMELINE SHIFTED. I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN. IT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW ANYWAY.”
“Why not?”
“WE SPOKE TO YOUR GUARDIANS. GAVE THEM SOME OF OUR COPIES. YOU GUYS ARE ALL GOING TO GO HOME. THEN YOU WILL PLAY THAT GAME. THEN HOPEFULLY WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WON'T BE TOO DIFFERENT TO HOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE. IF I'M REALLY LUCKY YOU'LL ALL HAVE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO BE LESS STUPID ABOUT IT ALL. BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKELY.”
“That's as good an explanation as we're going to get, isn't it.”
“YES. NOW GO DOWNSTAIRS. THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU.”

True to his word, John's dad, Dave's brother, Bec and Mom were waiting in the living room downstairs.
“We're back!” my mother called up cheerfully.
We went down the stairs. Jade ran up to her dog and hugged him tightly. John's dad ruffled his son's hair. Dave and his brother gave each other a fist bump. Mom and I eyed each other cautiously.
“I hope you had fun,” John's father said. “But it's really time to be going home now.”
“Yeah, best say your goodbyes and shit,” added Dave's brother.
Jade hugged John tightly and kissed him on the cheek. She then did the same to Dave, and then to me. “Bye guys! It was really great!”
“Bye, Jade,” the rest of us responded, with a little bit of nervous laughter at the display of affection. She hugged her dog again, and they both disappeared with some strange bend of reality.
“Been a blast, guys,” Dave said. He started to copy Jade with his usual sense of irony, but I pushed him off. He just gave John a fist bump. “Don't go doin' anything I wouldn't do. See ya.”
“See you online, Dave,” I said, as he left with his brother.
“Rose?” John turned to me. “Thanks. For everything. This has been the best few days of my life.”
“You don't really mean that, John,” I responded. “But thanks. It wouldn't have been the same without you.”
“Bye then,” he said, a little tearfully.
“Goodbye, John,” I replied. Reluctantly, he turned and left with his father to go home.

“So what was it like?” my mother asked me after she'd poured herself a glass of wine. “Did you enjoy yourselves?”
She most certainly knew about all the chaos that we'd faced. If she really was with those trolls, she must have seen us. She probably wasn't even listening, so I didn't answer.
“Well,” she said, after a few moments, a little flustered. “I've got a game for you to play, on your computer. Perhaps you should try it out with your friends?”
She handed me two envelopes, with what I recognised as the old logos of Sburb printed on the front.
“The game was cancelled last year,” she continued, “but I managed to get hold of these copies. I gave them to the others, too, so you should all be able to play together. Think, you'll be playing a game nobody else has ever played. Won't that be nice?”
I wasn't going to take her condescending tone of voice. But I didn't want to look like the typical rebellious teenager, so I played up my gratitude.
“Thank you so much, mother! I'm sure we'll love it!”

I'm not sure I convinced her.

Fin.

It's been quite a ride. I hope you enjoyed it.

[Solaris]

That was quite amusing, Limot.


So, this is it, guys! The fifteenth and final chapter of House Party!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

I woke to find John crouched over me, visibly worried. Either he'd been trying to wake me up or he found my unconscious form to be a particularly comfortable cushion. I am inclined toward the former.
“Rose! Are you alright? You fainted!”
“I know, John,” I replied. “Well. I'm not sure if it was really a faint.”
“What happened?”
“I saw things. Like some sort of really vivid dream. I saw places I've never seen before. Impossible places...”
John helped me into a sitting position, then sat down beside me.
“You mumbled things,” he said. “What did you dream of?”
“Hard to say. I didn't see anything for very long. But it felt more... real... than reality. Hmm. We're late for something...”
“What?”
“You know, what those trolls have been saying? It must be related.” I spotted someone walking toward us. “Oh, hi Dave. Wait...”
It was Dave. And yet it wasn't. He looked... older. A little. Maybe a couple of months at most, if he were living hard. And he hard much sharper clothes on than when I saw him a few minutes ago.
“You're not Dave,” I said.
“Am too,” not-Dave replied.
“You look like him,” John said. “Who are you?”
“Told ya. I'm Dave. Maybe not the Dave you know.” He crouched down to me. “What'd you see, Rose? Tell me everything. Though I bet I could tell you.”
“Go on then,” I challenged. “Tell me.”
“A psychedelic sea. A purple city. A chess planet. Am I warm?”
“Dead on,” I mused. “But you can't be the Dave that just had that same vision.”
“Nope. Like I said, I'm not your Dave. I came back to fix things... guess I failed.” He looked toward the house. Following his gaze, Jade and our Dave were walking out to find us. “Better go,” he said quickly, retrieving a pair of hovering turntables. With a scratch, he vanished.
“What the fuck?” exclaimed John.
“I think I'm starting to get it,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“I'll explain later.” I called out to Jade and Dave. “Hey, over here!”
I walked over to meet them.
“You alright?” Dave asked.
“I am now. I saw what you saw, Dave. It happened to me.”
“So what are you going to do?” Piped up Jade.
“Get some answers. Come on.”

A moment later we were in my bedroom. I had my laptop open on my desk, and was waiting.

carcinoGeneticist has come online.
This was the time.

“Alright,” I typed, “time for you to explain.”
“BEEN WAITING LONG ENOUGH,” came the response. “GOD DAMN. WHY IS YOUR SPECIES SO BAD AT PICKING OUT WHAT IS WRONG?”
“You said we were late,” I continued, ignoring him. “Late for what?”
“LATE ENTERING.”
“What does that mean?”
“YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW YET. YOU'LL KNOW IT WHEN IT HAPPENS. IF IT HAPPENS. IT'S NOT JUST YOU, IT'S YOUR WHOLE PLANET.”
“The planet is going to enter something?”
“NO. GOD DAMN. LISTEN. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A GAME CALLED SBURB?”
I thought for a moment. “I think so. There was some hype about it, but it got cancelled at the last minute for some reason. What's that got to do with it?”
“EVERYTHING. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THAT GAME LAST YEAR. BUT YOU NEVER GOT IT. YOU NEVER ENTERED. WE THOUGHT THIS WOULD HELP US BUT IT JUST SCREWED US OVER EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IF IT ALL WENT PROPERLY.”
“What do you mean?”
“I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU MORONS SO MANY TIMES BEFORE THE TIMELINE SHIFTED. I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN. IT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW ANYWAY.”
“Why not?”
“WE SPOKE TO YOUR GUARDIANS. GAVE THEM SOME OF OUR COPIES. YOU GUYS ARE ALL GOING TO GO HOME. THEN YOU WILL PLAY THAT GAME. THEN HOPEFULLY WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WON'T BE TOO DIFFERENT TO HOW IT SHOULD HAVE GONE. IF I'M REALLY LUCKY YOU'LL ALL HAVE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO BE LESS STUPID ABOUT IT ALL. BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKELY.”
“That's as good an explanation as we're going to get, isn't it.”
“YES. NOW GO DOWNSTAIRS. THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU.”

True to his word, John's dad, Dave's brother, Bec and Mom were waiting in the living room downstairs.
“We're back!” my mother called up cheerfully.
We went down the stairs. Jade ran up to her dog and hugged him tightly. John's dad ruffled his son's hair. Dave and his brother gave each other a fist bump. Mom and I eyed each other cautiously.
“I hope you had fun,” John's father said. “But it's really time to be going home now.”
“Yeah, best say your goodbyes and shit,” added Dave's brother.
Jade hugged John tightly and kissed him on the cheek. She then did the same to Dave, and then to me. “Bye guys! It was really great!”
“Bye, Jade,” the rest of us responded, with a little bit of nervous laughter at the display of affection. She hugged her dog again, and they both disappeared with some strange bend of reality.
“Been a blast, guys,” Dave said. He started to copy Jade with his usual sense of irony, but I pushed him off. He just gave John a fist bump. “Don't go doin' anything I wouldn't do. See ya.”
“See you online, Dave,” I said, as he left with his brother.
“Rose?” John turned to me. “Thanks. For everything. This has been the best few days of my life.”
“You don't really mean that, John,” I responded. “But thanks. It wouldn't have been the same without you.”
“Bye then,” he said, a little tearfully.
“Goodbye, John,” I replied. Reluctantly, he turned and left with his father to go home.

“So what was it like?” my mother asked me after she'd poured herself a glass of wine. “Did you enjoy yourselves?”
She most certainly knew about all the chaos that we'd faced. If she really was with those trolls, she must have seen us. She probably wasn't even listening, so I didn't answer.
“Well,” she said, after a few moments, a little flustered. “I've got a game for you to play, on your computer. Perhaps you should try it out with your friends?”
She handed me two envelopes, with what I recognised as the old logos of Sburb printed on the front.
“The game was cancelled last year,” she continued, “but I managed to get hold of these copies. I gave them to the others, too, so you should all be able to play together. Think, you'll be playing a game nobody else has ever played. Won't that be nice?”
I wasn't going to take her condescending tone of voice. But I didn't want to look like the typical rebellious teenager, so I played up my gratitude.
“Thank you so much, mother! I'm sure we'll love it!”

I'm not sure I convinced her.

Fin.

It's been quite a ride. I hope you enjoyed it.

What a tweest.
Thank you for the whole thing Tenebrais, I really liked it.
I can't wait for In Which Twelve Trolls Ascend.

[zebtrestalala]

Nice, that was a very good twist and a very good ending to the story. Like Solaris said, I eagerly await your next peace of fiction.

[Aerok12]

Oh look, another one. Yay.

Ch.1
Ch.8

Alandoned: Chapter 9

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A teenaged newt rests in his library chair. What is his name?

>Alexander Columbus

Alexander sits in his personal library, holding his portable touchscreen computer. He is wearing a simple robe, an target shape embedded into the area over his heart. He lives in an ornate mansion, guarded with all manner of traps, hired guards, and searchlight alarms to protect him and his crazy rich uncle against any sort of who-knows-whats. He was playing this "Sburb" game with his buddy, Phineas. On the screen, he saw Fin in some sort of island world, but without the water. Just a bunch of big columns protruding from the planet center. He opened the pesterchum application, and asked Fin What he thought of the place.

paranoidProfssor [PP] began pestering amazingTraveler [AT] at 20:25

PP:May I ask your opinion on the nature of this realm?
AT:its cool i guess
PP:Yes, I supposed it is "cool" as you assert.
PP:How do you believe you will be able to traverse this domain?
AT:i dunno
AT:maybe i could just jump
PP:I would have to advise against that.
PP:Jumping may be dangerous,
PP:If you lack the physical strength necessary to clear the entire distance.
AT:hey i can do anything i want to
AT:im jumping after i finish with pat

amazingTraveler [AT] ceased pestering paranoidProfessor [PP] at 20:28

Alex thought that Phineas was always sort of rude, but it was kind of cute how he was eternally confident and persistent, and found it somewhat humorous when his plans tended to backfire on him. While Fin was talking to pat, Alex thought he'd start building up his house, as the walkthrough he had been given suggested to do. He began by setting up a network of metal girders and placed stairs and floors around.

amazingTraveler [AT] began pestering paranoidProfessor [PP] at 20:41

AT:yo
AT:what the hell are you doing to my room
PP:I am assembling a set of platforms,
PP:So that you can reach the first gate.
AT:gate?
PP:Yes, the aim of this game is to build up to Skaia,
PP:As the walkthrough indicates.
AT:oh shit
AT:was i supposed to be doing that for pat
PP:Yes, you were.
AT:oh
AT:well then i better get started
AT:also i found out how to get around
PP:How, are there bridges?
AT:even better
AT:teleporters
PP:Ah, yes.
PP:I have some teleporters as well,
PP:Except that they are actually called transportalizers.
AT:i dont need to hear you brag
AT:about your rich uncle
PP:I apologize.
AT:yeah whatever
AT:i better start with pat
AT:you need a host
PP:Oh, I had forgotten about that.
PP:Whom do you suggest?
AT:how about fh
AT:she knows things
PP:Hmm, maybe.
PP:I'll ask her.
AT:whatever

amazingTraveler [AT] ceased pestering paranoidProfessor [PP] at 20:45

Oh man, that calm aloofness is what endeared him to Alex's heart. But now was not the time for romance. Now was the time for action. Well, talking, but, whatever.

paranoidProfessor [PP] began pestering forgetfulHistorian [FH] at 20:46

PP:FH, would you happen to have gotten Sburb?
FH:Yes
FH:But I can't play with you
FH:I already have a client
FH:Try OG
PP:If you say so.

paranoidProfessor [PP] ceased pestering forgetfulHistorian [FH] at 20:47

Well, that was weird. Alex didn't even tell her what he needed.

Spooky.

paranoidProfessor [PP] began pestering opinionatedGoth [OG] at 20:47

PP:OG, would you happen to have Sburb?
PP:I previously questioned FH, but she has already joined with someone else.
OG:yeah, i got sburb.
OG:what's it to ya
PP:I was going to ask if you would play,
PP:As my host.
OG:fine
PP:I have already downloaded the client disk.
PP:We only need to download your server.
OG:what do you mean 'we'
OG:there is no 'we'
OG:there is 'you' and 'i'
OG:i have a girlfriend
OG:now back up off me, bub
PP:I promise that I was not coming on to you.
PP:Now, have you installed the disk yet?
OG:jeez
OG:you don't need to be all up in mah bizness
OG:but yeah, it's done
PP:Alright, then,
PP:Let us begin.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Man, why are over half my characters gay? I mean, seriously.
Also, I've noticed that these are becoming progressively shorter.
Alsox2, I rewrote the Prologue. It's under the next spoiler.

Ch.10


Alandoned: Prologue

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A ferret-boy stands in his room, waiting to be named.

>Nathaniel Reed

Nathaniel walks over to his computer. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, and overalls with a symbol looking like two zigzag lines crossing each other at the center on the front. His room is nearly filled with electronics and gadgets that he invents. The last thing he worked on was a globe that pinpointed any location that you name, in terms of latitude and longitude. His room was kind of a mess, but he didn't care. He turned on his computer, and found that all of his chums were online!


He decided to pester DS first.

randomEngineer [RE] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 21:59

RE:heeeey, baby
RE:how are you doin' today?
DS:Okay, I guess.
RE:whats wrong?
DS:Nothing, I'm fine.
RE:you know
RE:thats the kind of attitude that tells me
RE:there is something wrong
RE:but im to ashamed to tell any1 about it
DS:I told you, nothing's wrong!
DS:Now get off my back about it, please.
RE:aww, honey, you know i love you
RE:and i just care about you
RE:please tell me
DS:Alright, fine, there is something.
DS:But, can I tell you about it later?
DS:It's kind of heavy.
DS:And I need to think on it some more.
RE:ok i can wait
RE:pester me when your ready
DS:I will.
DS:I love you.
RE:love you too

randomEngineer [RE] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 10:15

Nate hoped DS was okay. He tends to get worked up about trivial things, though, so it's probably nothing to worry about. He decided to pester SA and see hat he was up to.

randomEngineer [RE] began pestering sleepyArtist [SA] at 22:35

RE:hey sa, you awake?
SA:ya wy
RE:ds is upset over something
RE:have any idea why?
SA:no
RE:ok
RE:hey, have you heard about that new game?
RE:sburb?
SA:ya
RE:think we could get all the others to play?
RE:it would be, like, the longest chain evar.
RE:i think the longest was 12 or something
RE:we can beat them easy
RE:we got 14 of us
RE:speaking of which
RE:are you playing?
RE:your twin to?
RE:hello?
RE:asleep
RE:of course

randomEngineer [RE] ceased pestering sleepyArtist [SA] at 22:44

He prepares to go outside and do something else, but someone started trolling him.


elderlyPranker [EP] began trolling randomEngineer [RE] at 23:11

EP:what are you doing?
RE:ugh, what do you want?
EP:stop that!
EP:be careful!
RE:what are you talking about?
EP:what youre doing right now!
EP:yuore hurting her!
RE:you're crazy
RE:i'm not doing anything
RE:except wasting my time with you
EP:casey!!!

randomEngineer [RE] blocked elderlyPranker [EP]


Nate blocked the other trolls for good measure and then left. He walked into the living room and began to leave, when his step-father, a canine member of the police force. He tries to get out his taser to stop him, but he was too slow! His step-dad reach over, grabbed his shoulder, and,

“Tag, you're it!”

He runs off, out the back door.

What is wrong with him?

Nate went out the front door and thought that maybe the mailbox was still full. As he walked down the driveway, he glanced next-door to DS's house. He briefly pondered whether or not to go over and ask him about that thing he was worried about personally.

He went and got the mail, took note of the Sburb disks and chrome box, stashed them in his room, and then walked to DS's home. He rang the doorbell, and, after a minute of waiting, went back to his own home.

doubtfulStrongman [DS] began pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 16:16

DS:Hey, Nate, did you just come over to my house?
RE:yeah
RE:why didn't anyone aswer?
DS:It's about that thing.
RE:are you redy to tell me?
DS:Yeah, I think so.
DS:Popster,
RE:oh god
RE:he didn't die did he?
DS:No, no, he's fine.
DS:It's just,
DS:He found out about our,
DS:relationship.
RE:oh no
RE:that's terrible
RE:are you oky?
DS:I'm fine,
DS:just grounded,
DS:for two months.
RE:awww
DS:And you're not allowed to visit either.
RE:well I can see that
RE:are you going to be okay witout me?
DS:I think I'll be fine.
RE:okay, good
RE:hey are you going to play sburb with me?
DS:I'm not allowed to leave the room,
DS:much less play a video game.
DS:Especially with you.
DS:Sorry.
RE:maybe you can sneak past them
RE:some how
DS:I don't know,
DS:I mean, it's probably still in the mailbox,
DS:and, besides, the computer is in the middle of the living room.
DS:How am I going to sneak it in there?
RE:hmm,
RE:maybe i can sneak my laptop into your amilbox,
RE:you can go get it
RE:andthe sburb disks
RE:by saying your just getting the mail
DS:I highly doubt that that would work.
DS:But, I guess it might.
DS:And no harm in trying, right?
RE:alright ill pester you when its in there

randomEngineer [RE] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 16:41

Nate turned off his laptop, placed it in an orange box, and got ready to leave. Thinking that he might need a spare weapon, he placed a metal pole in his sylladex, along with the box, and ran out the front door, keeping wary of his step-dad.

Nate swiftly scurried away from his home, jumping behind a tree. Looking back, he ran on all fours to DS's mailbox, and placed the box in, carefully, but quickly.

There. Piece of cake.


A young bull sits on his bed, grounded to his room. What is his name?

>Marcus Ictoae

Marcus peered out his window as his boyfriend, Nate, set an orange box inside his mailbox.

Not terribly bright, but it still could work.

Marcus was wearing a simple baseball T-shirt with a sideways green square with a normally-oriented clear square inside and a plus-sign within that. Behind him was his room, covered in sports memorabilia, along with his drumset in one corner. He waited with his phone until Nate pestered him. The phone rang, and surprisingly, Nate wasn't the sender.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 17:48

EG:hy mrc
EG:wil u ply sbrb w/ me
EG:plz
EG: :3
DS:Well, I was going to play with Nate
DS:but, I guess he can be my server
DS:and you can be my client.
EG:aw
EG:bt i wntd 2 b ur srvr
EG:
DS:Okay, I guess
DS:I'll pester him.
DS:See what he has to say.
EG:yy!
EG:

excitedGymnast [EG] ceased pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 17:56

randomEngineer [RE] began pestering doubtfulStrongman [DS] at 17:57

RE:hey
RE:i put the box in
DS:I know.
DS:I saw you out my window.
DS:Did you have to use an orange box?
RE:yeah ornage is kinda my thing
DS:I know that as well.
DS:And unfortunately,
DS:so do my grandparents.
RE:oh no
RE:i forgot
RE:
RE:do you thnik you can sneak it pst them?
DS:Maybe.
DS:By the way,
DS:I spoke with EG.
DS:She said that she wanted to be my server.
DS:Is that alright?
RE:i don't se why not
RE:iwas going to ask yuo to be my serevr anyhow
DS:Oh.
DS:Alrighty then.
DS:I guess I'll go get the mail

doubtfulStrongman [DS] ceased pestering randomEngineer [RE] at 18:08

Ch.1

[grigori]

The fanfic here looks really cool. I'm not too fond of shipping/romance stuff, but the other fanfic was nice. I really like all the stuff with the kids just hanging out together.

Anyway, I was wondering if people would be interesting in reposting their stuff to a fanfic archive? It'd be easier to comment on each story and you'd probably get more publicity, plus it'd work better for the chaptered stuff. I'm on a kind of new place called Archive of Our Own. (Right now there's a signup delay, so you have to wait a few hours to get sent an invite. Or you could PM me, I have a couple invite links to give out.) It's kind of like fanfiction.net, only with no random deleting/you're allowed to post chat format stories/can make new categories (I've just made the one for Homestuck)/good stuff. (You can also post images into stories, but they aren't set up to actually host images yet.) Anyway, I've posted my own story there, though I'll also post it in the thread:

[spoiler]

Sburbian Strife

[nextian]

MFYes, I love the Archive! I'm cosmogyral over there and I'll put up my fic. What I'm really hoping for is a Homestuck surge for Yuletide... I've got one invite left, so if anyone wants it, let me know.

[gardenGenosse]

It's kind of like fanfiction.net, only with no random deleting/you're allowed to post chat format stories/can make new categories (I've just made the one for Homestuck)/good stuff.

Ooh, this looks like a nice place. Applied for an invite, hopefully we can start filling the Homestuck section out soon. Plus I can't say no to a place with Top Gear slash what am I talking about? Of course I can say no to that. That's repulsive.

[spoiler]

Sburbian Strife

This is p. good grigori. I appreciate having a window into Rose's unsettling thought patterns.

[Valter]

Sure, why not. Signed up for an invite.

I finished up my current semester recently, came back home, and got instantly sucked in by the Halo: Reach beta. I haven't written for almost a week now, but I might contribute some more in the next few days.

[Aerok12]

Ch.1
Ch.9

Alandoned: Chapter 10

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hide spoiler

In the future again...

A FATIGUED ASSASSIN stalks her prey. Makeshift spear in hand, she lithely slides through the stale night air, her quadrupedal game oblivious to her existence. She sneaks, nearly close enough to attack, but came on with a sudden dizzy spell, losing her footing, and scaring away the little critter. This was the third time today, and she was starting to get hungry. But this was nothing new. She hadn't had any food in over three days. Maybe four. She was beginning to lose track of time. Night was falling, so FA defeatedly walked back to her house, to rest before trying again the next day. And the next. And the next. There was rarely anything new happening around there. Day in and day out, it was the same exact thing: Wake up, get a drink from the lake, hunt, eat, store the extras, go back to sleep. Except, the leftovers had almost run out, and she was bringing in less and less.

FA reached her home, popped open the conical cap, and slipped down the ladder. She walked over to her bed, sat down, put her head in her hands, and groaned.
What is going on with me?
She was about to lie down and take a nap, but she noticed an unusual red light from her right. She detatchedly turned her head to the source, and found that the computer that she had previously been unsuccessful in activating alight with the image of a amethyst-scaled young woman with a bizzare symbol on her black shirt, sitting in a watercraft riding through a molten sea, oh wait, now it's a green flower-covered field. It appeared that the world she lived in had a very fluid climate, shifting endlessly around a still planet. FA saw that in the direction she was headed, there was a large crevice, reaching down into the core. She glanced down, and saw a keyboard connected to the computer. Her vision was still a bit blurred, but she could mostly make it out.

hry, look ouy1 thers a gao1 turb riht2
Excuse me?

The dragon girl turned and looked around, as if she could hear her, but indistinctly. She focused, and typed more slowly and carefully.

Hey, look out! There's a gap! Turn right!
Oh, okay.

The girl turned the steering wheel to the right. Meanwhile, the lush gardens turned to a harsh desert, complete with dunes and hills. The car-boat flew over the crest of the wave of sand, flying into the air. And it wasn't turning! Wait, propellers just appeared out of the side! The propellers nudged the gliding vehicle starboard, and away from the hole in the middle of the planet. She was safe! FA felt a sense of relief wash over her, and she typed another message on the keyboard.

Good job.
Thanks. You saved me though.
You can hear me?
Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?
I don't kno, iges i jyst thkugt smtgb
What? Are you okay? Hello?

--------------------------

Patricia looked around as the voice in her head faded away. She thought that she had imagined it, but she realized that she couldn't have known about the gap. Maybe there was some sort of person like those troll guys that always seemed to know what she was doing. It sounded to her that whoever that was had fallen asleep or something. Maybe they had narcolepsy, like SA. It didn't really help to dwell on it herself, so she pestered FH about it. She knows about all that crazy-ass psychic junk.

excitedGymnast [EG] began pestering forgetfulHistorian [FH] at 20:51

EG:hy
EG:cn i sk u smthn
FH:Yes
FH:Maybe
EG:myb?
EG:',:|
FH:Depends on the question
EG:k
EG:i tnk im hrng vics n my hd
FH:No
EG:aw
EG:
FH:Sorry
FH:All will be revealed soon
EG:hw sn
FH:Depends on your definition
EG:}:[

excitedGymnast [EG] ceased pestering forgetfulHistorian [FH] at 20:55

--------------------------

Alexander looked around his room in horror as books flew, statues crashed, and walls caved in on themselves.

What is OG doing?

paranoidProfessor [PP] began pestering opinionatedGoth [OG] at 20:52

PP:Please be gentle carrying my antique furniture and literature.
OG:why, is that where you keep your porn collection
OG:i think i just saw some hunk rump fly by
PP:I say, I admonish these convictions.
PP:I do not own any degree of pornography or the like.
PP:I do not associate with such immature provocations.
OG:jeez settle down
OG:i was just poking fun
OG:and besides,
OG:everyone likes porn
PP:Well, I'll have you know that I don't.
PP:I have many more productive undertakings to be fulfilling.
OG:whatever
OG:i put your porn back
PP:You know what, I don't need to deal with these shenanigans.
PP:Read this.

paranoidProfessor [PP] sent opinionatedGoth [OG] file"sburb_faq/walkthrough_by_tentacleTherapist"

PP:It explains everything about this game.
OG:tl;dr
PP:Read.
PP:It.
PP:Now.
PP:
PP:I have had to explain this to two people already.
PP:I am tired of it.
PP:Read.
OG:okay, okay
OG:i'm reading it now

opinionatedGoth [OG] is now an idle chum

OG:okay done
PP:It took you long enough.
OG:hey i read it alright
OG:so i put everything in here/
PP:Yes, you do.

Alex watched as several machines appeared in his library. He saw a bust of his uncle hover towards the Cruxtruder, hitting it and smashing in the process. Strangely, nothing came out, as had happened with Phineas's. He picked up a chunk of the busted bust, and angrily threw it through the air.
FLASH
A bright light blinded him, and after he blinked the spots out of his eyes, he looked to where he tossed it to find...nothing. There was nothing there.

Wait a minute. Isn't my color invisible? Yes, that must be it!

He took a book from the floor, an Aerokian Bible(he had studied all the worlds' religions, even the small, inconsequential ones), and chucked it in the direction of the flash he saw.
FLASH
Now, floating above him was a ghostly version of his uncle, with a standard Aerokian symbol etched onto his chest.

Uncle?
Yes?
So you're a sprite now?
Yep.
Alright.

Alex went back to his work, following the steps outlined in the walkthrough. The Cruxtruder read 00:27, so he had no time to lose. He quickly created the item on the prepunched card, and on the alchemiter was nothing. He felt around for the object, but couldn't find anything there. The Cruxtruder was counting down from 00:05. Alex frantically searched for whatever the thing was, tears running down his cheeks.
:04
:03
Uncle?
:02
Yes, Al?
:01
I love you.
:00
I love you too.

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hide spoiler

*gasp* Did Alex die? I did say this was going to be sort of dark.
Also, I'm starting to make the chapters longer again. Yay?

Ch.11

[I-gor]

I like all this stuff in this thread. I also eagerly await the coming of "In Which Twelve Trolls Ascend". It sounds epic. Also, Alandoned is getting more complicated. Just the way I like it.

Troll Log III, part V

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turntechGodhead: what is this knights of the cubist starship or some shit
grimAuxiliatrix: Not Accepting Your Title Then?
turntechGodhead: title, what am i your fucking trolling dalai lama
carcinoGeneticist: DOESN'T QUITE WORK THAT WAY, I THINK
turntechGodhead: i have a bunch of titles and knight of gullibility isn't one of them
grimAuxiliatrix: You Spelled Time Wrong
turntechGodhead: no im pretty sure i spelled it right
adiosToreador: yOU ARE SUCH A JERK
turntechGodhead: im pretty sure the way you spell it is
turntechGodhead: b
turntechGodhead: u
turntechGodhead: l
turntechGodhead: l
turntechGodhead: s
turntechGodhead: h
turntechGodhead: i
turntechGodhead: t
adiosToreador: jEEEEERK
carcinoGeneticist: NICE GOING AT
grimAuxiliatrix: I'm Pretty Sure It Transcends “Jerk"
carcinoGeneticist: KEEP THIS UP AND MAYBE YOU'LL LEARN NOT TO GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT BY NEXT YEAR
turntechGodhead: yeah i would say im more in league with critics than jerks
turntechGodhead: you guys taking notes?
turntechGodhead: because this is how you troll someone
adiosToreador: iS THERE a DIFFERENCE BETWEEN cRITICS AND jERKS?
turntechGodhead: yeah critics get paid for it
carcinoGeneticist: I ADMIT THIS TROLLING ONSLAUGHT WAS PRETTY DISORGANIZED
turntechGodhead: disorganized?
gallowsCalibrator: 1T'S 4T'S F4ULT
gallowsCalibrator: 4S 4LW4YS
turntechGodhead: you actually planned anything
tentacleTherapist: Dave.
tentacleTherapist: Would you know where my journals have gone?
turntechGodhead: it seemed more like you just fell out of a ceiling and started typing on a computer
turntechGodhead: no what
tentacleTherapist: I could have sworn I left them over here-wait
tentacleTherapist: There they are.
tentacleTherapist: You didn't mess with them, did you?
turntechGodhead: how in hell would i get your journals from like, five states away
turntechGodhead: i dont see how i could have
ectoBiologist: dave did you start playing yet?
turntechGodhead: playing what?
carcinoGeneticist: YOU TOOK LONG ENOUGH TO GET THAT, JOHN
turntechGodhead: trolling tips for assholes?
turntechGodhead: that's the only thing im playing right now
grimAuxiliatrix: When In The Timeline Did You Start Trolling Dave AT?
adiosToreador: hOW AM i SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
adiosToreador: i PRESSED "RANDO"
turntechGodhead: oh so now its time travel roulette then
turntechGodhead: you troll linus torvalds yet
tentacleTherapist: With you around it seems like the Russian variety.
turntechGodhead: oh yeah killing time
turntechGodhead: killing time is easy
turntechGodhead: you aim for the head
adiosToreador: wHAT
turntechGodhead: use your brain
carcinoGeneticist: IT MEANS THAT HE WANTS YOU TO SHOOT YOURSELF, AT
ectoBiologist: like if he had a face
ectoBiologist: you'd shoot yourself
ectoBiologist: in the face
turntechGodhead: sure lets go with that
turntechGodhead: although i doubt you have a gun
turntechGodhead: you would have shot yourself already
turntechGodhead: probably twice
turntechGodhead: or maybe you decided to see how far you could eat it without choking
carcinoGeneticist: I'M SURE THAT PROBABLY ALREADY HAPPENED.
turntechGodhead: and found out that you had a abnormally small neck
gallowsCalibrator: 1M SUR3 G4 C4N T3LL US 4LL 4BOUT TH4T
grimAuxiliatrix: Rudeness Towards People I Fancy Doesn't Yield Favorable Information
turntechGodhead: oh god youre more pretentious then rose
turntechGodhead: what did you even think you would accomplish with trolling us?
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S A BIT OF A LONG STORY
turntechGodhead: tips tricks friendly advice?
turntechGodhead: fucking greatest effort ever guys
carcinoGeneticist: TURNS OUT JADE SCREWS UP ROYAL AND THROWS EVERYTHING OFF
turntechGodhead: mission accomplished
carcinoGeneticist: BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW.
turntechGodhead: what
turntechGodhead: jade screws what up
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S ALL OVER NOW.
turntechGodhead: your attempts at trolling
turntechGodhead: im pretty sure a dead grandmother could out troll you guys
turntechGodhead: a cremated dead grandmother
ectoBiologist: um
ectoBiologist: about that
turntechGodhead: i dont think many dead grandmothers own computers
turntechGodhead: so you guys are safe i guess
turntechGodhead: dont have to worry about getting logically served by an elderly zombie
turntechGodhead: although im sure you guys could find a way
turntechGodhead: thats probably part of your modus operandi
turntechGodhead: getting countered by the most pathetic things possible
ectoBiologist: hoo hoo hoo?
adiosToreador: lIKE YOU?
turntechGodhead: no you guys made a mistake and went after a competent guy instead
turntechGodhead: looks liked you fucked up fucking up
turntechGodhead: reaching records in the field of fucking up
carcinoGeneticist: GOT A POINT THERE.
turntechGodhead: improving everyday asshattery every day
carcinoGeneticist: I THINK AT'S RUN TO HIS ROOM CRYING
grimAuxiliatrix: No He Wouldn't
gallowsCalibrator: L1K3 H3 N33DS 4N 3XCUS3
grimAuxiliatrix: Now Now GC, Do You Want Another Bile Removal Procedure
grimAuxiliatrix: The Last One Burned Up The Syringe
turntechGodhead: see just what im saying
turntechGodhead: now your trolling each other
turntechGodhead: i should be the one taking notes
turntechGodhead: in case i ever have to commit suicide in the most embarrassing way ever
carcinoGeneticist: FAMOUS LAST WORDS
turntechGodhead: oh yeah you must know because your magical future time travelers
ectoBiologist: dude they are
turntechGodhead: whats next, you going to tell me your 900 years old
turntechGodhead: and really aliens
turntechGodhead: and you abduct young women and fly them around in telephone booths
gallowsCalibrator: 4T DO3S TH4T 4 LOT
gallowsCalibrator: W1TH G4
gallowsCalibrator: BUT TH4TS B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT
grimAuxiliatrix: AT Doesn't Own A Telephone Booth
grimAuxiliatrix: He Own A Paper Mache Telephone
gallowsCalibrator: S4M3 TH1NG
carcinoGeneticist: DIDN'T HE USED TO?
grimAuxiliatrix: Says The Blind Girl With No Talent
turntechGodhead: where the fuck do you get a paper mache telephone
turntechGodhead: and how the fuck do you get the time to make one otherwise
gallowsCalibrator: TH4T L4ST ON3 HURT
turntechGodhead: what you guys produce paper mache telephones?
turntechGodhead: as a front for your trolling fuckery
ectoBiologist: well come on
ectoBiologist: that map was pretty bad
turntechGodhead: what map?
turntechGodhead: now they make maps too
turntechGodhead: what are you guys, acmes retarded younger brother?
grimAuxiliatrix: No I Believe That Someone Else Owns That Team Name
grimAuxiliatrix: We Tried Our Best But Weren't Able To Use It
turntechGodhead: haha very funny
turntechGodhead: flattery now
turntechGodhead: trying to catch me off guard or something
ectoBiologist: thats a good one
grimAuxiliatrix: well we've pretty much ceased trolling at this point
turntechGodhead: oh you have?
turntechGodhead: i hadnt noticed
turntechGodhead: something must have confused me there
turntechGodhead: maybe the fact that i got trolled ten minutes ago
turntechGodhead: by you guys
carcinoGeneticist: GA WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR TYPING
grimAuxiliatrix: The Keyboards On These Terminals Are Usually Untrustworthy and Shady In Their Service
adiosToreador: yEAH i KNOW
carcinoGeneticist: AND ALL THAT TIME TA PUTS INTO THEM
adiosToreador: mY cAPS lOCK IS OPPOSITE FOR SOME REASON
carcinoGeneticist: RIGHT.
adiosToreador: wHEN THE LIGHT IS ON IT TYPES IN LOW CASE AND WHEN ITS OFF IT TYPES BIG
carcinoGeneticist: REALLY.
adiosToreador: oH WAIT
adiosToreador: yEAH
grimAuxiliatrix: That Isn't Actually True
grimAuxiliatrix: AT Never Looks At The Light
grimAuxiliatrix: And He Doesn't Use Shift
carcinoGeneticist: YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
adiosToreador: sHIFT IS FOR BABIES AND OLD LADIES
tentacleTherapist: This is interesting.
adiosToreador: i USE CAPS LOCK LIKE im TRUE BE SHADY
turntechGodhead: that was some shitty poetry
turntechGodhead: only just better than chuckles dickens over there
adiosToreador: bUT IT WAS RAP
turntechGodhead: oh wow that was the shittiest rap ive ever heard
turntechGodhead: and ive heard some shitty rap
turntechGodhead: and some ironic shitty rap
turntechGodhead: but that was the shittiest rap ive ever heard
tentacleTherapist: Pray tell, what's your motivation for trolling us?
turntechGodhead: me?
adiosToreador: mE?
tentacleTherapist: Besides your usual allegations of Jade screwing things up?
turntechGodhead: oh okay then
carcinoGeneticist: YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
turntechGodhead: unless you think im subconsciously insulting jade or something sigefried and froyd
tentacleTherapist: Freud.
turntechGodhead: i was making a joke
tentacleTherapist: It doesn't matter how you spell it
tentacleTherapist: I can extrapolate such behavior when you talk to me sometimes.
turntechGodhead: oh thats right you had your humor surgically removed last year
ectoBiologist: that sounds a tad suspiscous
turntechGodhead: im sorry i forgot
carcinoGeneticist: WE KNOW YOUR FUTURE, DAVE.
grimAuxiliatrix: Now We've Pulled A Reach Around
grimAuxiliatrix: Now You Are Trolling Each Other And We Are Bemused By It
turntechGodhead: how can you know my future if its me whos the "king of time" or whatever
grimAuxiliatrix: Now Your Just Humoring Us Then, As An Attempt To Push Us Off Into A Long Discussion
gallowsCalibrator: D4V3 DO YOU 3V3N KNOW WHO TH1S HUM4N FR3UD OR FROYD OR WH4T3V34 1S?
gallowsCalibrator: >:]
turntechGodhead: yeah i do
turntechGodhead: he was groucho marx's personal therapist
turntechGodhead: but he couldnt get him off those cigars
gallowsCalibrator: >:_
turntechGodhead: thats a really ambiguous emote
turntechGodhead: looks like a prompt or something
grimAuxiliatrix: Maybe She Is Prompting You To Speak
grimAuxiliatrix: And You Are Complying Like A Trained Monkey
turntechGodhead: technically we are all trained monkeys
turntechGodhead: except maybe rose
tentacleTherapist: I'm going to go ahead and accept that as a dubious compliment.
tentacleTherapist: As one would accept the Darwin Awards.
tentacleTherapist: Or perhaps an Ig Nobel Prize.
turntechGodhead: also you got to stick up for your ancestors i guess
turntechGodhead: you know, youre all like "frogs forever"
turntechGodhead: i guess
grimAuxiliatrix: Humans Come In Frog Variety?
turntechGodhead: oh look pretending to be aliens now then
turntechGodhead: taking my advice
carcinoGeneticist: LIKE THAT TIME YOU THOUGHT ROSE WAS A SALAMANDER THE FIRST TIME YOU FIGURED OUT THE VIEWPORT FUNCTION, GA?
turntechGodhead: she is most likely
turntechGodhead: some kind of reptile
turntechGodhead: you should see that tongue
turntechGodhead: perfect for catching flies and shit
grimAuxiliatrix: Reptiles Don't Have Long Tongues
turntechGodhead: thats the joke
adiosToreador: i DONT GET IT
ectoBiologist: isn't it
ectoBiologist: ironic?
turntechGodhead: arguably
turntechGodhead: it wasnt ironic, which is ironic because i make ironic jokes 90 percent of the time
turntechGodhead: so yeah it was ironic
turntechGodhead: that means that whole explanation was ironic
ectoBiologist: i thought you weren't supposed to explain the joke
turntechGodhead: thats the joke
turntechGodhead: isnt it ironic?
grimAuxiliatrix: Augh Now You're Just Stringing Together Everything We Say And Calling It Irony
ectoBiologist: thats the idea
ectoBiologist: i think
turntechGodhead: at this point
tentacleTherapist: More like a litany of utter confusion and chaos.
gardenGnostic [GG] has joined.
carcinoGeneticist: HI AGAIN, IDIOT
turntechGodhead: like they dont make enough of that for themselves
gardenGnostic: guys!!! why are you here with the trolls??
ectoBiologist: um
ectoBiologist: i don't know
turntechGodhead: discouraging words of advice
ectoBiologist: maybe just having a chat i guess
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S ALREADY OVER AND DONE WITH, DAVE
gardenGnostic: but... but theyre so mean!
carcinoGeneticist: THIS IS THE AFTERPARTY.
turntechGodhead: oh good i convinced you you are all utter piles of fetid shit
tentacleTherapist: I suppose this all makes sense in a vaguely Machiavellian way.
gardenGnostic: well i finished building up your house dave, you should go check it out!
ectoBiologist: dave's kinda out of it right now
gardenGnostic: i think i made it really nice!!! :}
turntechGodhead: um
ectoBiologist: i'm sure it looks cool too
turntechGodhead: you built my house?
turntechGodhead: i think i may have noticed a bunch of construction work



END PART V
No, this is not the end of this troll log. It's longer that I expected.

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Also, that part in the middle where Dave talks to GA with only a few times interrupted by John or CG? That was me trying not to bust a gut laughing at Disk's monologue.

[Valter]

Catalyst!

Catalyst: Chapter 5.

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The RIGOROUS CAPTAIN eyed TA suspiciously as he led the newcomer into the office. He and TA had been aquainted from even before the days of the war with the Prospit, and RC recognized TA's lousy poker face. Something big was clearly planned for this meeting, and TA was doing a poor job concealing the fact.

TA opened the meeting: "How did your first scouting mission proceed, Guest?" This must be important, or else he would have beaten around the bush as was his usual style.

"He did fine, and you should probably direct any other questions to me."

"Oh?" TA gave RC an arched eyebrow for his interruption. "Is the Guest unable to speak for himself?"

"That's exactly right, TA. Looks like the mutations that spawned him have finally reared their ugly heads. We got a mute on our hands."

~~~

TA smothered a few obscenities. Already his plans had experienced a setback, and the meeting hadn't even begun properly! Perhaps it could be expected, though, in light of his recent fortune. It seemed that no lucky break could be encountered without something lurking around the corner to smash it to pieces. And how had he not noticed until now? He had clearly been too complacent in the last few days.

"A very excellent plan was just made significantly more complicated, RC. I can only pray that it hasn't been ruined entirely." TA looked the guest over once more. "Well, we better get down to business. The sooner we can get the basic briefing over, the sooner I can think about how to fill in all the holes. I know you can understand me, Guest, and I have a task for you, if you are willing to take it.

"You are apparently a combination of Dersian and Prospitians traits, Guest, a fact which grants you unprecedented opportunity here on the Battlefield. The mutations plaguing both armies have reduced the brains of all the abominations roaming it down to pinpricks. They follow extremely simple patterns which determine their behaviors, and it would appear that they check to see if an unidentified target is their own color before they check if it's the opposite. If the color matches, they move on without checking the other color.

"What this means, in short, is that both the white and black armies regard you as one of their own. Have you observed this yet, RC?"

"That I have, TA. We encountered jackals of both hues on our little trip, and every time they ignored him. Even the abominations let him be."

"As I expected. Guest, you have in essence a free pass to roam the battlefield as you please. You could conceivably walk all the way to the white palace if you wanted to.

"And, as it may be becoming clear to you, this is exactly what we want you to do.

"We haven't completed a single scouting mission to the white Royal Quarters in more than twenty days, Guest. The battlefield presents many dangers to those who wish to cross it. We make do the way things are now, with all of us scuttling around our corner of the field, but traveling across the border between the black and white territory is nigh-impossible.

"The Prospitians do not trust us, either. They still believe us to be committed to the destruction of Skaia. I've tried to establish contact with the survivors on their side on many occasions, but always they escape contact or fight back against our scouting parties.

"You, I believe, are the perfect bridge between worlds. Perhaps you can be our catalyst, the one who brings Prospit and Derse together. With the combined might of two kingdoms behind us, maybe we could finally devise a way of getting off of this scrap heap of a planet. There are important issues to address now that the Heir and Witch are dead, and bumbling around on Skaia isn't one of them.

"Your job, then, will be to find the White King or whoever is in charge over there, deliver to them a correspondence, and return to me with their answer. All I need is an agreement to meet in person, and then I will be able to take over from there.

"Do you understand this, Guest, and will you take up this task? A nod or a shake is all I need for an answer. Just understand that this mission may decide the fate not just of us, but of every live Skaian still left on this rock."

~~~

AM regarded the guard captain and the bureaucrat in turn. He hadn't picked up half of what TA had just said, but he understood the magnitude of what was being asked of him. He felt he would have perished by now without their hospitality though, immunity or no, so he knew he owed something back. He gave a quick nod.

TA gave a deep sigh of relief. "Excellent. I suppose you won't be able to deliver the request verbally, so I guess a parchment will have to be drafted up. RC, we've talked about this before. Could you ink up an invitation?"

"Yeah, sure, if you're really incapable of doing it yourself."

"Ah, well, there were still some things I wished to discuss with the Guest..."

"Oh, well who am I to get between you and even more talking?" RC gave another glower for good measure and began on the parchment in front of him.

"Well, you are definitely a member of Derse now, so I suppose the first thing we should do is get you a proper name. Hmmmm.... I do believe, given the task that you just accepted, that you shall now be known as the AMICABLE MESSENGER."

AM considered the name. It... fit, somehow. He gave another nod.

"Very well. The next order of business, then, is the response. This will be a very serious event, and I want it to have an appropriate level of gravitas, if you will. Here..." TA rummaged through the drawers of his desk, and produced a very interesting item from one of them.

"This tablet must have been smuggled on to Skaia from the Land of Wind and Shade, because I've never seen anything else like it in my time here on the field. I think it would make an excellent medium for the agreement. Just make sure that the head of the White Kingdom scratches a signature into the tablet." TA handed the tablet to AM.

AM looked at the tablet more carefully. One side had already been carved, it seemed, and... oh my.

"You see now, do you? I think it fits the situation quite well." TA took the tablet back, long enough to scratch his own signature into its back, and returned it to AM. He also fished out a short sword from the seemingly endless expanse inside his desk, and offered it to AM as well. "The Battlefield is a dangerous place, AM, and even with your immunity you may find yourself in extreme peril. Just remember that this is to be used only in cases of extreme emergency. A sword is only as strong as the arm that weilds it, after all, and you haven't the skill that the rest of us posess." AM gave another curt nod at this advice, and took the sword nervously.

"I've finished the letter, TA," RC said. He handed the finished letter to TA, who gave it a brief perusal. He nodded, and passed it along to AM.

"I do believe that will be all, then. The engineers should have some rations and a pack ready for you, AM. Return here once you are fully ready to leave."

AM nodded once again and made his way out of TA's office. His journey was about to begin.

~~~

"Well, there he goes. Didn't do too bad a job on the scouting mission, at least. Of course, he'll never be able to replace-"

"He's not going to, either. I told you we were going to do things differently this time. He'll fill in his own role on the team if he manages this mission."

"..."

"Patience is key here. You know that, and I know that. That's why you said you'd let me handle this one, right?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"If we can get Prospit and Derse together, maybe we'll finally have a bit of free time available. As things currently stand, we couldn't get off of Skaia even if we knew how to. I'm telling you, AM's the key to all of this."

"Yeah, you keep saying that, and you said that even before you knew why. I get the feeling you're just making this up as you go along."

"I've never been shy about that fact, have I?"

"Grrr... I'll give you one month. If you can't figure something out in that time, we're gonna get traditional."

"...Okay, then. Agreed. Besides, if AM manages to get himself to the White King and back, I'll have an alliance set up with Prospit in two weeks flat."

"If he does."

"Well, that's the question, isn't it? You said yourself that he's not so bad, though. I'm willing to stake my plans on his success."

"I guess we'll just have to see if that ends up biting us in the ass later, then. I hope for your sake and mine that it doesn't."

[Orange]

Catalyst Chapter 1
Catalyst Chapter 4
(I'm going to edit all the initial posts to include a link to the next chapter, so presumably I only need to link to the first and most recent chapters here)

Catalyst: Chapter 5.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

The RIGOROUS CAPTAIN eyed TA suspiciously as he led the newcomer into the office. He and TA had been aquainted from even before the days of the war with the Prospit, and RC recognized TA's lousy poker face. Something big was clearly planned for this meeting, and TA was doing a poor job concealing the fact.

TA opened the meeting: "How did your first scouting mission proceed, Guest?" This must be important, or else he would have beaten around the bush as was his usual style.

"He did fine, and you should probably direct any other questions to me."

"Oh?" TA gave RC an arched eyebrow for his interruption. "Is the Guest unable to speak for himself?"

"That's exactly right, TA. Looks like the mutations that spawned him have finally reared their ugly heads. We got a mute on our hands."

~~~

TA smothered a few obscenities. Already his plans had experienced a setback, and the meeting hadn't even begun properly! Perhaps it could be expected, though, in light of his recent fortune. It seemed that no lucky break could be encountered without something lurking around the corner to smash it to pieces. And how had he not noticed until now? He had clearly been too complacent in the last few days.

"A very excellent plan was just made significantly more complicated, RC. I can only pray that it hasn't been ruined entirely." TA looked the guest over once more. "Well, we better get down to business. The sooner we can get the basic briefing over, the sooner I can think about how to fill in all the holes. I know you can understand me, Guest, and I have a task for you, if you are willing to take it.

"You are apparently a combination of Dersian and Prospitians traits, Guest, a fact which grants you unprecedented opportunity here on the Battlefield. The mutations plaguing both armies have reduced the brains of all the abominations roaming it down to pinpricks. They follow extremely simple patterns which determine their behaviors, and it would appear that they check to see if an unidentified target is their own color before they check if it's the opposite. If the color matches, they move on without checking the other color.

"What this means, in short, is that both the white and black armies regard you as one of their own. Have you observed this yet, RC?"

"That I have, TA. We encountered jackals of both hues on our little trip, and every time they ignored him. Even the abominations let him be."

"As I expected. Guest, you have in essence a free pass to roam the battlefield as you please. You could conceivably walk all the way to the white palace if you wanted to.

"And, as it may be becoming clear to you, this is exactly what we want you to do.

"We haven't completed a single scouting mission to the white Royal Quarters in more than twenty days, Guest. The battlefield presents many dangers to those who wish to cross it. We make do the way things are now, with all of us scuttling around our corner of the field, but traveling across the border between the black and white territory is nigh-impossible.

"The Prospitians do not trust us, either. They still believe us to be committed to the destruction of Skaia. I've tried to establish contact with the survivors on their side on many occasions, but always they escape contact or fight back against our scouting parties.

"You, I believe, are the perfect bridge between worlds. Perhaps you can be our catalyst, the one who brings Prospit and Derse together. With the combined might of two kingdoms behind us, maybe we could finally devise a way of getting off of this scrap heap of a planet. There are important issues to address now that the Heir and Witch are dead, and bumbling around on Skaia isn't one of them.

"Your job, then, will be to find the White King or whoever is in charge over there, deliver to them a correspondence, and return to me with their answer. All I need is an agreement to meet in person, and then I will be able to take over from there.

"Do you understand this, Guest, and will you take up this task? A nod or a shake is all I need for an answer. Just understand that this mission may decide the fate not just of us, but of every live Skaian still left on this rock."

~~~

AM regarded the guard captain and the bureaucrat in turn. He hadn't picked up half of what TA had just said, but he understood the magnitude of what was being asked of him. He felt he would have perished by now without their hospitality though, immunity or no, so he knew he owed something back. He gave a quick nod.

TA gave a deep sigh of relief. "Excellent. I suppose you won't be able to deliver the request verbally, so I guess a parchment will have to be drafted up. RC, we've talked about this before. Could you ink up an invitation?"

"Yeah, sure, if you're really incapable of doing it yourself."

"Ah, well, there were still some things I wished to discuss with the Guest..."

"Oh, well who am I to get between you and even more talking?" RC gave another glower for good measure and began on the parchment in front of him.

"Well, you are definitely a member of Derse now, so I suppose the first thing we should do is get you a proper name. Hmmmm.... I do believe, given the task that you just accepted, that you shall now be known as the AMICABLE MESSENGER."

AM considered the name. It... fit, somehow. He gave another nod.

"Very well. The next order of business, then, is the response. This will be a very serious event, and I want it to have an appropriate level of gravitas, if you will. Here..." TA rummaged through the drawers of his desk, and produced a very interesting item from one of them.

"This tablet must have been smuggled on to Skaia from the Land of Wind and Shade, because I've never seen anything else like it in my time here on the field. I think it would make an excellent medium for the agreement. Just make sure that the head of the White Kingdom scratches a signature into the tablet." TA handed the tablet to AM.

AM looked at the tablet more carefully. One side had already been carved, it seemed, and... oh my.

"You see now, do you? I think it fits the situation quite well." TA took the tablet back, long enough to scratch his own signature into its back, and returned it to AM. He also fished out a short sword from the seemingly endless expanse inside his desk, and offered it to AM as well. "The Battlefield is a dangerous place, AM, and even with your immunity you may find yourself in extreme peril. Just remember that this is to be used only in cases of extreme emergency. A sword is only as strong as the arm that weilds it, after all, and you haven't the skill that the rest of us posess." AM gave another curt nod at this advice, and took the sword nervously.

"I've finished the letter, TA," RC said. He handed the finished letter to TA, who gave it a brief perusal. He nodded, and passed it along to AM.

"I do believe that will be all, then. The engineers should have some rations and a pack ready for you, AM. Return here once you are fully ready to leave."

AM nodded once again and made his way out of TA's office. His journey was about to begin.

~~~

"Well, there he goes. Didn't do too bad a job on the scouting mission, at least. Of course, he'll never be able to replace-"

"He's not going to, either. I told you we were going to do things differently this time. He'll fill in his own role on the team if he manages this mission."

"..."

"Patience is key here. You know that, and I know that. That's why you said you'd let me handle this one, right?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"If we can get Prospit and Derse together, maybe we'll finally have a bit of free time available. As things currently stand, we couldn't get off of Skaia even if we knew how to. I'm telling you, AM's the key to all of this."

"Yeah, you keep saying that, and you said that even before you knew why. I get the feeling you're just making this up as you go along."

"I've never been shy about that fact, have I?"

"Grrr... I'll give you one month. If you can't figure something out in that time, we're gonna get traditional."

"...Okay, then. Agreed. Besides, if AM manages to get himself to the White King and back, I'll have an alliance set up with Prospit in two weeks flat."

"If he does."

"Well, that's the question, isn't it? You said yourself that he's not so bad, though. I'm willing to stake my plans on his success."

"I guess we'll just have to see if that ends up biting us in the ass later, then. I hope for your sake and mine that it doesn't."

This is fantastic. I figure it's a good thing to let folks know every now and then that their work is actually being looked at, and mentally commented on. So, there it is in words.

[resdaMalos]

-IFY!

What. What happened now? Man, where was I these past few months?

No matter!

A look into the not-so-distant past...

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WHAT AM I MAID OF TIME - Chapter One

"Ho boy. This is different."

Aja looked all around her. Her house, it appeared, was unscathed for the most part; but something was definitely... off. She instinctively patted herself down; two arms, two legs, face not blown off, two horns. Check.

The air, she realized. It's completely different. This is crazy.

She had known what to expect, having sent her friend William into the Medium a few hours prior. She saw his house wink out of existence for a split second, only to reappear in a strange new world.

But actually experiencing it? Totally different story.

She clutched her broom in hand as she walked, ready to take on any comers. Though her skill with broomKind was unmatched, she knew her entrance into the Medium only served to make things more difficult for everyone.

I mean, if they were having trouble with imps prototyped nine times over, imagine what TEN would do.

A soft bleat issued above her head. She raised her broom, but quickly lowered it after realizing the source. Her weird, double-prototyped sprite resembled her old science professor with a goat's head. It swam in the air above her, looking at her with a mixture of concern and amusement.

"Uh... hey."

The sprite bleated in reply.

"Oh no, do you speak English?" Aja put a palm to her forehead.

"I say," it replied, "I am a learned man. How can you think so little of me, child?"

Oh thank Ophiuchus, she breathed, it can talk. It's a weird, goat-sounding talk, but at least it's intelligible. "Sorry, er, Professor. Do I call you Professor?" Aja inquired carefully. "I mean, you were prototyped with a stuffed goat and a picture of my science teacher. Nothing really animate."

"Hmm, alas, I don't think I survived the meteorite that hit the schoolhive when your friend entered the Medium," the sprite bleated sadly. "When I died, I guess the Medium saw fit to let me help you. But no matter!" It smiled, a weird goat-smile that was possibly more unnerving than was intended. "You were always my best student, Aja."

"Okay, Professor," Aja sighed. "So, tell me. What's going on? What are we doing here? Where is here, even?"

"The beginning," it replied. "The first page of a wondrous storybook, filled to the brim with-"

"Ugh," she groaned. "No riddles, please." She began to massage her horns. "They give me a headache."

"No can do, my dear," answered the Professor. "Part of the job description. If I do a job I do it right."

"Oh, damn it all, sorry Professor," she started, before correcting herself. "If you won't help me, I'll see what the others have to say." She excused herself back to her room.

"No problem, my dear. I'll just go scrounging for some vegetables. You do have some nice leafy greens around here, I hope." With that, the PROFSPRITE glided away, through a wall on a beeline towards the kitchen.

Aja had already returned to her computer, opening up Trollian. Only cG was available; it looked like everyone else was busy exploring their respective planets. Conveniently enough, it seemed that he wanted to speak with her anyway, as the pulsating icon indicated.

She opened up the connection.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] --

CG: about time aja.
TC: ccccommeee onnn mann
CG: oh god.
TC: whhhaaattt??///
CG: fix your damn keyboard. the keys are stuck
TC: orrrr whhhhhattt?? :PPP
TC: heeeeeehhheeehhhheeeeeeeeeeeee

-- [color=#626262][cG] opened a voice connection. --

"What the hell, Aja?" An irritated voice hissed over Aja's speakers.

Well, she thought, looks like Carson isn't in the mood for games. "Just some good-natured trolling," she replied. "You ought to try it. Everyone else does."

"Ugh," Carson groaned. "Mark this day, Aja. I tell you. I will NEVER. EVER. Stoop to that level."

"Even if-"

"EVER."

"...okay, jegus," Aja muttered.

"So. You finish exploring the planet yet or what?"

"Huh?" Aja scratched a horn. "I... just got here."

"Aja, you sent a message about that two hours ago. What have you been doing?"

"I was passed out the last two hours," Aja clarified. "You could probably ask Ariel, she'll confirm. She must have seen me KO'd on the ground."

Carson became serious. "Aja, Ariel told me you were awake and running around two hours ago. That's why I've been trying to get a hold of you. But you were the one who wasn't answering."

Aja was silent for a moment. "...so, what, is there some sort of doppelganger?"

"Stranger things have happened, ever since Mary prototyped with a mirror." Carson mulled it over in his head before continuing. "Okay. Go out and figure out some stuff. Go see your planet, for one. Tonight we'll all coordinate over Trollian."

"Got it, C," Aja agreed. "I'll see you in a few hours." She terminated the link. "Well, I guess the only way forward is... forward." She made sure to grab her broom as she shut the door to her room.

Meanwhile, in a timeless expanse...

A BALEFUL QUERULIST stared wistfully at a flickering computer screen. "Another one of those weird horned-things got into the Medium..." she sighed. "No word on the wardrobe change yet. I hope you have some fashion sense, girl."

"Nice to meet you." She traced out the purple Capricorn symbol with a carapaced finger. "Maid of Time."

AUGH WHAT

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There are a few names there that I decided to take artistic license with. Obviously cG is Carson, as we have seen several other writers use in this thread. But there are other, unidentified trolls. Specifically, William, Mary, and Ariel. I know who these trolls are, but I won't tell you. I will, however, leave one hint: The trolls' chain goes in the same order that their respective signs does.

[Valter]

Orange: Thanks!

Is it bad that I giggled while I typed in the title drop?

resda: I like where you're going with this, although the pun in the title made me want to kill myself.

[resdaMalos]

Orange: Thanks!

Is it bad that I giggled while I typed in the title drop?

resda: I like where you're going with this, although the pun in the title made me want to kill myself.

The pun is shamelessly stolen from a post earlier in the forums. I don't think I would have been able to come up with it myself.