NewMars, Cathartes: write because you want to write, guys. Write because you enjoy it! It's never "wasting your time" if you love what you're doing. If you feel like you need feedback, ask for it, and ask for specifics. We have a lot of talented writers here who would be glad to point you in the right direction if you're looking to improve your craft. If what you're wanting is a more general appreciation, though, well--sometimes you won't get it! This thread is starting to move quickly compared to its old pace, commenting on fic is very time-consuming (the long-ass post I made took hours), and not everything you put forward is going to receive showers of accolades. Sometimes things slip by, or people mean to comment on something and they forget. It happens to pretty much everyone here.
This is a very good opportunity to work on confidence! The segment of people who say anything is very small compared to the segment of people who read it, enjoy it, and don't say anything. You just have to trust those people are out there. A writer who constantly has to be reassured is going to have a very rocky time of it.
So yes! post! continue! write! I wouldn't dream of trying to convince someone otherwise. But do it because you want to. And remember that this is a community, too! Unlike a general fic archive, this thread is built on engaging with others, so do your part. Ask questions, theorize, offer opinions, etc, not just on your own fics but on what other people do as well. If everyone came here to just post their own stuff and not give a crap what anyone else did, we'd have a lot more writers asking "does anybody even like my stuff??" Putting effort in will be met with effort from others.
I SUCK AT BREVITY
Orange: You're a talented writer, so I think that if you just let Dave "happen," as it were, you'd be surprised with the results. If you're having issues and wanting second opinions while you're writing, feel free to PM me with drafts! I love betaing.
Tezrial: hahaha holy fucking shit this was amazing. Spot on voices, hilarious mental image. Dave getting trolled by all of his friends at once = the. best.
Tenebrais: ...not what I was expecting! Vriska being a stereotypical pirate is kind of amazingly perfect, and I cracked up when Sollux chucked an onion at Tavros' head. poor guy. I'd love to see more of this.
NewMars: For some reason, I love the mental image of philosostrife. Just two people debating and it counting as a battle makes me laugh for some reason. Good stuff.
Red Pen: I don't think I've gotten to comment on this series yet! Completely crack idea with ingenious execution = the purest of all loves. Rose and Dave are perfect, and I have never loved the alt-MC more than I ever have in this fic. (Like Doc, I think it would be so great to see you integrate John and Jade into this! It wouldn't detract from the fic to leave them out by any stretch of the imagination, but watching the three just lose their shit while Rose is all "its cool guys I got this" would be fabulous.)
aaand responses for my stuff:
NewMars: Thank you! If you think this is confusing, the finished product is going to punch you in the brain. Hope you like brain-punching!
DocBeard: don't look away, don't turn your back, don't even blink, because I will rocket in out of nowhere with darkfic. And thank you! I was getting worried after like two months of reading this over and over that my take on the Denizens was dumb.
PaulPower: thanks! I wanted to push an area that hadn't really been explored in fic yet, so hopefully the finished product meets expectations.
nextian: I will do my best to confuse you when I finish it! (and yes Rose and Dave just died! and so did John but that was offscreen! and it only goes downhill from here.)
And that is absolutely the most perfect definition of "hussied" because that is pretty much what happened here, and I cannot even remotely pull together the energy get upset about my fic's canon getting shot to hell.
Alright, I think I understand. I'll work on the next chapter. It will probably be a while, though, since I kind of write in spurts whenever inspiriation hits. Sorry if I was annoying you guys asking for feedback!
If romart people want to draw me, my character is here! Done by TimeChaser, thanks a ton!
Tezrial: OH MY GOD YES. Don't make me want to write it please.
"Dave, don't freak out, but you need to keep staring at the statue."
"Freak out? Who's freaking out? I'm not the one windmilling like an idiot and shrieking in a shrill, girlish voiOH FUCK. OH FUCK."
"WHY WEREN'T YOU LOOKING AT IT."
"I WAS. I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS."
"TAKE YOUR FUCKING GLASSES OFF!!"
"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN FUCKING MATTER, JOHN?"
"THEY MIGHT NOT KNOW THAT YOU'RE LOOKING."
"THAT'S THE DUMBEST SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE."
"STOP YELLING. THIS IS THE WORST TIME EVER TO PANIC."
"YOU STOP YELLING. FUCK."
"Well, this is completely absurd."
"THIS IS REALLY NOT THE FUCKING TIME, LALONDE."
"I feel the need to point out that this statue was once Zazzerpan, the Wizard of the Great--"
"Well, NOW it's a fucking CURLY-HAIRED MERCHANT OF DEATH UP IN HERE, so WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR POINT--"
"As I was saying, it seems to be similarly susceptible to dark lightning."
"...I had this under control."
"You were screaming like a little girl."
"Man, what are even you talking about, that was my manly, uh, alerting you to the problem at hand."
"Um, Rose, I think a lot of that shrieking might've been me."
"Oh, no, John, your shrieking is more of an alto. Dave is the soprano."
"Wait a second, Dave."
"Your shadow. Or your shadows I should say."
"Rose, what are you babbling about now?"
"You have two shadows."
"I'm calling bullshit on this one. Of all the dumbass things I have heard in my life, and believe me, I'm friends with John Motherfucking Egbert, I have heard some retarded things in my time, this tops them all. My having two shadows is the lightning rod on the skyscraper of unintelligble nonsense that has been my life to this moment."
"Dave Strider, just look behind you. Then I suggest you be still. Very, very still."
"Fine, if it will shut you up, which is something I don't believe is humanly possible, I will look behi-- shit."
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
"So wait, wait, the end boss is...a guy in a suit. Suit man. We're fighting Bing Crosby."
"It is a bit of an anticlimax."
"...its a bit of a fuc-"
"Dave? Buddy? Your eyes got all wide and-"
"...David, what's wrong."
"Rose, he's just shaking, what the-Rose get down!"
"John. John. I'm sorry. I. i can't control my arms. this isn't me. i'm so sorry."
"heh. heh. heh." The man in the suit's hand pressed a button, and the dulcet tones of Bette Milder crooning, "I Put A Spell On You!" rung out as he kicked his feet up to watch the fun.
I'm the wind, baby. Gotta live my life my own way, unfettered and free.
Unless there are those little meatballs, then I'll crash or something.
And "Yes". A Timelord is trouble enough for Dave but the Master is just bad news the second you let him in your head. I could almost see an arc where the Master infects Dave with his insane drumbeat in the hopes of forging the Knight of Time into a living weapon.
Just look at Dave, guys. Dave agrees with the doctor in almost all fashions. Especially his defending of all things he considers cool. (HINT: HE'S GOT A BOW TIE.)
"Aw yeah, you and me are irony buddies, wearing these totally lame bow ties."
"Um. No, not really. You see, bow ties are cool. They're hip. Get with the program."
"What? Alright no we're gonna have to have some words about this time period, bro."
"Or I can just tell you what's hoopy in the next few centuries to come."
"Hoopy? Tryin' to pull some Douglas Adams shit on me, dawg?"
"Not in the least. In fact, about this Adams character..."
(I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO GET IN THE PARTY AND PRACTICE DAVE AT THE SAME TIME OH GOD)
Meanwhile, the ADVENTURES OF JADE AND K-9! (I would pay to see that.)
Edited Dave's side of Chapter 3 of "The River" to make it more Dave like, except with less effort. Kept a few things in, in light of them sounding like Dave putting serious thought into things, if not briskyl.
EVERYONE SHOULD WRITE IT. Doc first! No, wait, me first.
TG: shit my head hurts
TT: Uncharacteristic of you.
TG: what do you mean
TT: A simple declarative statement.
TG: shut the fuck up
TG: got a headache
TG: what else is new
TG: doesn't need spit
TT: I have never known you to refrain from elaborate excursions into the world of rhyme for a reason like "it isn't necessary."
TT: ... That was your cue to tell me that I'm overanalyzing you.
TG: i hear this beat
TG: freaking me out
TG: drums in my head
TT: Strider. Don't go anywhere.
TT: Just ... stay wherever you are and I'll come find you.
TT: There's got to be another gate around here somewhere.
TT: Or we'll send Jade in after you.
TT: Who better to get a sound out of your head than the queen of earworm anime tunes.
TG: isnt a joke
TT: Now I know you're sick.
TG: good job on that
TT: Your sarcasm assures me that I'm not too late.
TT: If you've got a beat in your head try taking it out on your imps.
TT: Hold on.
Posted this in the romart thread in response to something i read, guess I'll post it here too.
Originally Posted by LeCrab
Well it's fairly long winded but aight
-Basically the premise is the Red Team trolls as they're younger are meeting and playing or whatever. Karkat, Terzei, etc
-CT shows up, wants them to play some ridiculous game with him as the leader since he's the blue blood
-The other trolls laugh at him, call him names, reject him and walk away since they think he's an ass
-CT goes back and meets Vriska who says something like "Your hobbies are bad enough but now you want to hang with the lower grubs? Hah, you're the worst noble ever" and walks away
-CT then goes home alone and tries to practice archery, but his bow shatters and he can't hit anything, or he accidentally hurts his Lusus who runs away
-He breaks down crying in the shattered remains of his bow, he's all alone
-Suddenly you see hand reach in toward him, zooms out to reveal it's Nepeta's paw
-He breaks down more and they embrace
that was embarrassing to write
I read the above and got inspired. Not sure I nailed the voices right, but hey. I had fun writing this.
â€œGuh how in the cuttlefish raping hell did you convince to come out here at all? It is a waste if your time. More importantly, its a waste of my time.â€
â€œKarkaaat, I can smell your fear. Hehehehe. Don't be afraid, we only want to play a game. Do you want to play a game?â€
Karkat pushed the huffing blind girl away. â€œI don't know how you smell anything over that shit stained breath.â€
â€œUhh, Karkat? Don't be so mean...â€ said the weary Tavros.
â€œYeah man... Just groove.. You coming out is a -â€
â€œYou say it and I'll paint the ground with that nonsense you all makeup. And your blood.â€
â€œYummy,â€ said Terezi.
All of a sudden, the ground started rumbling and all the arguments stopped. A growing mechanical sound filled the air. Through the forest they could see a giant metal ungulate with the head of a certain troll tromped through the tree, crushing all manner of stupid creatures that couldn't get out way, both big and small. The mechanical monstrosity stopped a few feet away and a long tube slammed into the ground from between the back legs. Smoke filled the clearing as broken toothed trolls stepped out.
Karkat coughed and said, â€œTroll Jegus built a giant wooden dildo and fucked me with it. Oh wait, this is worse.â€
â€œYou... Lack proper respect,â€ said the troll.
â€œI, uhhh, respect you, CT.â€ said Tavros carefully. CT stared at his horns before turning away,
â€œI have... a game for all of use to play. I will put you all... into two teams.â€
â€œThere is a big thing behind you bro. Its like a fucking miracle of something something. How does that work maaaannn?â€
â€œThis game, â€œstarted CT, ignoring the uncouth one, â€œuses robots I built. They are four legged beasts. Majestic and strong. We ride them...and use these hammers. â€œhe indicated a brown bag that had fallen. We hit the balls, to a goal, and-â€
â€œIs this bone bulge breaker serious?â€ asked Karkat. â€œI'm only here to make this horn squeezing fuckbrain to shut his hole slime eating hole. Know what? You can eat my larva remains, I'm going back to something that isn't covered in blue eye shadow like a trollop troll so honry for the enlisted men.â€
CT reached out and grabbed the leaving troll's arm. â€œYou will listen to your betters-â€
Pow! he was on the ground, clutching his stomach. Karkat kicked him in the face, breaking his shades. â€œScrew your caste!â€ He grabbed CT's horn and started bending it. â€œLet's see you be all snobby without some manhood!â€
â€œuhh, stop-â€ but before Tavros could wheel over a loud crack! filled the air.
â€œI didn't know you cared so much Karkat.â€ Terezi said, picking up the broken piece. â€œThis tastes like orange.â€
CT stood up and brushed himself off. They chouldn't see through the cracked shades, but everyone there knew brown streaks were coming off the corners of his eyes. He walked back to the tube, ignoring the long brown bad, and went up the elevator, still hearing Karkat's insults and the blind girl's laughter.
No none knew his hive had exploded in an experiment gone wrong, leaving only this giant machine. This was his only place to live, his home. The recuperacoon had gone up in flames as well, and he didn't sleep anymore. Just pass out, hearing the voices get louder on each awakening.
Trollian was blaring. It was Ag.
â€œgC said you got 8eat doooooooown!â€
â€œPlaying with lower gru8bs?â€
â€œHow did you ever get to 8e 8lue 8lood in the first place?â€
â€œhahahahahahahaha you are a disgrace!â€
This was nothing. Nothing.
He felt a patting on his shoulder. His lusus was holding a bow and arrow it had made. Yes... This would help.
On top of his mobile home was several bales of dried grass and leaves tied together, covered with paper with targets on them. The paper was clean, no holes, never changed, never hit by any arrow.
He prepared to take a shot, setting the arrow into the string as he pulled back. CT's hands started with get slick with sweat. Just line up the shot, just see the target and-
Snap! The bowstring broke and the arrow went wild, cutting deep into his arm. Stupid lusus, using such terrible material! Its fault he never hit the target. Lusus fault. Always. Noble blood flowed onto the floor, staining it. It was next to other stains all across the roof of his mechanical ride. Mocking him. Constantly mocking him. Reminding him of his failure.
As CT grabbed his wound, his lusus trotted up. Yes, it would help him inside, bandage the wound. Of course it would. It was a majestic beast. But no. Instead it leaned over and licked up the thick viscous fluid flowing from it's wards arm. No, this wasn't right! In anger, the troll kicked the custodian away. But the kick was to hard. To hard. The lusus scrambled with its hoofs but to no avail. It fell, screaming a wordless scream. It was a fatal fall. CT knew it was fatal.
Fatal. Fatal. Useless. Pointless. These words ran through his head. Why even bother? Why? Gushy tears flowed freely. Blue bloods don't cry. They couldn't cry. But he couldn't stop. What was the point? Lower grubs hated him. He lusus hated him. High born hated him. His own hive burned down because he couldn't do anything right. It must have hated him too. His horn was broken. Broken by the lowest of the low. It would get infected soon. Painfully.
He look to the edge. Scratch marks covered the side where his Lusus jumped. Why not? He walked over. Why not? No one would notice. They didn't even know his name.
One step. One. Step. Just one then-
He stopped. Looked behind himself. There at the hatch. Bright yellow eyes, the cute hat. But where was the bright smile? The one that could make the eternal night look like day? She must smile. She must have that smile.
A step. But a step back, away from the edge. He fell to his knees, no longer able to hold himself.
And cried. Cried.
Warm arms surrounded him. â€œIts okâ€ a gentle voice said. â€œI'm here. We will be ok.â€ CT felt warm liquid on the back of his neck. â€œJust never leave me, ok?â€
He reached out and held her. The sun was coming out.
Nepeta jumps to CT, and they both go flying off the edge.
Eh, one more.
The giant mechanical humanimal blows up. Everyone dies.
Thirty-two hours, forty seven minutes, seventeen seconds. The four of them encountered those things, those monsters that had infected the troll nazi's machines and wanted to use the aliens themselves for spare parts. John had insisted the four of them help, despite the colossal pain in the ass the trolls were what with alternating between trying to make friends and attempted murder every fucking week. John was insisting on a lot, lately, despite the Heir's usual passive demeanor. Maybe Lalonde was rubbing off on him. The double entente made Strider smile, a little, despite his frustration with his friends.
The throbbing in his head sharpened, pulling to a violent crescendo that caused Dave to emit a weak moan of pain. Why wouldn't it stop? Did those cyborg things do this to him?! He knew they should've killed the things, hurled them in the lava, damn Harley's sympathies! She never had to suffer the consequences for her actions...and it suddenly occurred to Dave how wrong that was, how the unjust universe never repaid in kind. How it needed someone to make sure things worked properly, and how good it would feel to see that stupid, buck toothed smile shrivel and die as the realization of just what she was seeped into Jade's empty little head...to watch her bend and buckle and twist under the red hot pressure of his will!
"What. What the fuck." Dave shook his head wildly, trying to rip sobriety from the soul draining humidity of the Land of Heat and Clockwork. "This isn't me. What am I thinking?"
"That's kind of what I was wondering, man." John's voice was strong and sad, and Dave jumped all the same. He hated himself for showing that much weakness in front of Egbert. When had their dynamic changed so much? Either way, the amateur scientist was leaning against a brass tree, pushing a gear branch with his right hand like it was a toy. "Rose showed me the log."
"Good to see she's as dedicated to doctor patient confidentiality as fucking usual." Dave groused, shoving his sunglasses up with one hand and finding his other closing around the hilt of his sword. "So, what, are you here to try and cure me with a big hug and some electroshock therapy?"
"The other log." There was a bit of a chill in John's voice now, and for reasons he could not consciously comprehend, it excited Dave as much as it bothered him. "She thinks the world of you."
What log? "Thought." Dave said in a voice that wasn't entirely his. What was John talking about? "I was sick of being used and her thinking it was okay because she's bright and perky."
And, finally, mercifully, wonderfully, as his best friend's temper snapped and the awkward boy shucked his facade off in order to better leap into the air, hop off of the brass tree, flip around three times and send a three ton hammer screaming towards Dave's head, the drums quieted. As the weird, alien Dave cawed a chuckle and sliced John's cheek open, spilling blood he loved like a brother, all the real Dave Strider could do was guiltily thank Egbert for the reprieve.