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Thread: MSPA fan-fiction

  1. #2176

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Graven Image! I like that this is going along at a steady, not-fucking-around clip; it doesn't drag, nor does it go too quickly, so the balance is there. What's missing are...characters! What gives Homestuck such charm is its cast of characters and their interactions; without them, it would be like reading Problem Sleuth 2.0, except far more confusing, and the end product would be much less interesting than what we've got. That's the issue with your fic, I think. You've got characters--use them! Let them talk, interact, have thoughts, etc. Even if you have to accomplish this through pesterlog instead of standard dialogue (which you've been doing since they're in the same area), it would improve your fic like a thousandfold. Characters are (usually) the vehicles through which readers come to care about the plot. Without that interface, it will be hard to get readers engaged.

    VR! I really love the little playground that Impermanence sets up, knowing that all these scenarios are stories from Jade's head; that one bit of knowledge makes it much easier to get into some wildly different AUs with no issues. The kids as Noir-style villains is such a fun mental image, but I honest to god think my favorite part of the story is this one tiny little insignificant bit: Dave's accent. My headcanon has Dave always hiding a twinge of a Texan accent, and seeing something similar in another fic makes me do this weird giddy 8 year old clapping thing. (It makes me feel so ridiculous.) The only part that was hard to get into was Jade's accent, which adds to how it sounds mentally at the huge cost of readability. I had to stop and go "wait what the crap is she saying--oh" a few times, which was a bit of a speedbump. Other than that, though, good work. I love me some cute Dave/Jade!

  2. #2177
    AKA Shamus_Aran Graven_Image's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    @PaulPower
    Thanks for the heads-up. I changed it to something a little more direct.

    @Sarasvati
    Thank you for the complement. It's actually because of that not-screwing-around speed at which the story is moving that I haven't gotten around to characterizing them yet.

    You wouldn't waste much time on in-depth conversations if you had six minutes until firey meteoric death, would you?
    Fanfics (There's a bunch):

  3. #2178

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Hey, um, i don't really have anything to contribute except that VagabondRaiser, your fics (plural!!!) are awesome and I can't wait to see more of Flavors and Impermanence. Jade's dialogue was a little hard to read, but I just ended up sounding it out out loud. I love the fact that they robbed Vriska's jewelry store.

    Graven_Images, you've done a great job setting up the situation! But it's like sarasvati said, you should flesh out the characters a little more. I can't wait for the next part!

    also um i might have done some art for some of the fics here and here. maybe.

  4. #2179
    Viseroy of Pretty Kool Guy mediokreKarapase's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by VagabondRaiser View Post
    As for Equius auto-parrying the hammer with his face, it woulda gone something like this:
    I demand that someone draw this immediatley.

  5. #2180
    Bass practice reminder PaulPower's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Reading all this stuff lately about troll romances, I've just realised something about the way I write John and Rose, particularly in Light: they're moirails. Partly because I'm loathe to do anything romantic what with them being 13 and all, mostly because it really does fit: John is concerned about Rose's wellbeing if she sets out to break the game on her own, Rose is concerned about John's wellbeing if he and the others team up with her on it. In another sense, John is crazy on the surface but sane underneath, while Rose is sane on the surface but crazy underneath, so they both have to do some stablising and complementing for each other.

    I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling. Thoughts?

  6. #2181
    Stone Temple Guardian Admin Zuki's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulPower View Post
    Reading all this stuff lately about troll romances, I've just realised something about the way I write John and Rose, particularly in Light: they're moirails. Partly because I'm loathe to do anything romantic what with them being 13 and all, mostly because it really does fit: John is concerned about Rose's wellbeing if she sets out to break the game on her own, Rose is concerned about John's wellbeing if he and the others team up with her on it. In another sense, John is crazy on the surface but sane underneath, while Rose is sane on the surface but crazy underneath, so they both have to do some stablising and complementing for each other.

    I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling. Thoughts?
    I think it's very easy to read a Morail relationship into John and Rose! It makes a good deal of sense to me.
    Zuki says:
    "I'll find something to put here later!"

  7. #2182

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    when writing badfic it is important to do it quickly, like pulling off a bandage.

    Condolences to tenaciousApologetic

    (YOU AND ME COULD HAVE A) RED ROMANCE*
    Vriska teaches Tavros sloppy makeouts.

    *this joke has never been done before and is extremely topical, right? RIGHT?

    Last edited by breccia; 08-13-2010 at 01:27 PM. Reason: so many typos
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  8. #2183
    AKA Shamus_Aran Graven_Image's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Okay, I laughed really bad at this one. I can just imagine Tavros.

    "KARKAAAAT! DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!"
    Fanfics (There's a bunch):

  9. #2184

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    breccia

    i almost peed my pants, breccia

    i hope you're happy

  10. #2185
    Flower Shadow of the Lotus's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulPower View Post
    Reading all this stuff lately about troll romances, I've just realised something about the way I write John and Rose, particularly in Light: they're moirails. Partly because I'm loathe to do anything romantic what with them being 13 and all, mostly because it really does fit: John is concerned about Rose's wellbeing if she sets out to break the game on her own, Rose is concerned about John's wellbeing if he and the others team up with her on it. In another sense, John is crazy on the surface but sane underneath, while Rose is sane on the surface but crazy underneath, so they both have to do some stablising and complementing for each other.

    I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling. Thoughts?
    I think that their ages could come into play a bit here. Romance isn't something that comes all that natural to 13 yr olds and John is kinda thick when it comes to realizing stuff. I usually just think of John as unaware with Rose the more knowing between them (I usually play this aspect up with Rose being 'shy' (though not carrying the usual worry-wart connotations; just unwilling to admit any feeling she might have for John but in a more controlled and rational way)). I think that a lot of what we would consider moirails is just a part of human romance. I think the best relationships are ones that both carry love as well as a balancing between the partners. How many times have we heard "I love my husband; he's my best friend" or "I love my wife; she's my best friend" etc when successful couples describe their relationship? I think John and Rose do act perfectly to compliment one another; it's part of what makes their non-canon totally-in-my-mind relationship work. John brings a brighter, more open attitude to Rose while Rose helps bring out his passionate side and direct him towards focusing on more serious matters. The trolls, if anything, would probably have trouble placing them between moirail and matesprit; some weird funky middle zone that incorporates both qualities.
    Last edited by Shadow of the Lotus; 08-13-2010 at 12:49 PM.

  11. #2186
    Doggle Brigade Askal's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by breccia View Post
    when writing badfic it is important to do it quickly, like pulling off a bandage.

    Condolences to tenaciousApologetic

    (YOU AND ME COULD HAVE A) RED ROMANCE*
    Vriska teaches Tavros sloppy makeouts.
    Hey. Fuck you. Fuck you for thinking this is bad. The whole thing was adorable and hilarious and I can't stop smiling. ILU, man.

  12. #2187
    UNREAL AIR UNREAL AIR BV tawawawa's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by breccia View Post
    when writing badfic it is important to do it quickly, like pulling off a bandage.

    Condolences to tenaciousApologetic

    (YOU AND ME COULD HAVE A) RED ROMANCE*
    Vriska teaches Tavros sloppy makeouts.

    *this joke has never been done before and is extremely topical, right? RIGHT?

    WE'RE DOING THIS. WE'RE MAKING THIS HAPPEN.
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  13. #2188
    Sage of Rest Sushi Database's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by breccia View Post
    when writing badfic it is important to do it quickly, like pulling off a bandage.

    Condolences to tenaciousApologetic

    (YOU AND ME COULD HAVE A) RED ROMANCE*
    Vriska teaches Tavros sloppy makeouts.

    *this joke has never been done before and is extremely topical, right? RIGHT?

    Oh my god this was fun to read XD Tavros is such a lovable dope and Vriska is....

    Well, Vriska is Vriska.

    BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE

  14. #2189

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Graven Image: I totally understand! In-depth conversations wouldn't be necessary, but the best part about stories is that time is always relative, so you can squeeze in thoughts, feelings, etc. But I believe you when you say you'll get around to characterizing them, and I look forward to it.

    nV: totally unrelated to fics but have I mentioned that I love your style? Just really crisp and clean with such neat coloring, and I have a huge appreciation for traditional media. So cool.

    breccia: okay tavros/vriska squicks me in that abusive relationship way even when it's supposed to be funny but I have to admit, I laughed. Especially at Vriska's "Girl things. Girl things are complicated."

    Paul, I totally get what you mean, but I think Lotus put it in a really good light that I agree with. They're 13 and just kind of figuring things out; it would be so unrealistic for them to be like super "we were meant to be together" romantic at that age! (I mean, how many married adult couples do you know who can say 'yeah we've been together since 8th grade'?) Moirallegiance as a concept is a fated, unbreakable friendship, and while trolls try to find different people to fill different relationship needs (as in "there's exactly one morail for me," and being the exactly one morail precludes that troll from being anything else), humans are more likely to combine them. In that light, Rose and John acting like moirails is almost just like a precursor to a romantic relationship when they're older. The longest-lasting relationships do tend to be built on really solid friendships.

  15. #2190

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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by breccia View Post
    when writing badfic it is important to do it quickly, like pulling off a bandage.

    Condolences to tenaciousApologetic

    (YOU AND ME COULD HAVE A) RED ROMANCE*
    Vriska teaches Tavros sloppy makeouts.

    *this joke has never been done before and is extremely topical, right? RIGHT?

    THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT. Hnghsh. I was avoided the realms of fanfiction, but NOW I'm going have to go through at read all your stuff. -SIGH- Presuming you have stuff? I assume you do.

    but srsly, this is just how I picture their early interactions as COUPLE IN LOOOOOOOOOVE [or bandaids, probably both]. I also am impressed by your dialogue--it keeps character really well.

  16. #2191
    What's a God to a Non-Believer Moderator Solaris's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    breccia has some of the best stuff!
    A lot of poeple here have some of the best stuff!
    There is just no bad Homestuck Fan-Fiction in this thread.
    It is the best there is!

  17. #2192

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Solaris View Post
    A lot of poeple here have some of the best stuff!
    There is just no bad Homestuck Fan-Fiction in this thread.
    It is the best there is!
    QFT

    EDIT: EXCEPT FOR THE SILLINESS I POST HERE; That's just the not-bad Homestuck Fan FAN-Fiction there is, maybe?

  18. #2193
    Quantum Lurker Orange's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Okay, arguably this should probably go in a separate thread because it's not necessarily prose, but then I don't really have the hubris to do so.

    Ever since I heard the words "Alternian Slam Poetry" I've been thinking about this. And when I saw what happened that crippled Tavros, I started writing this. It wasn't until today though that I found the gumption to finish it and just post it, regardless of what I think of the damn thing. The thing is, I used to primarily write poetry before I came here. So I guess this is also an homage to my older stuff.

    Here's "The Steepest Hill," from the perspective of Tavros.

    Beneath a windmill and the night sky
    I dressed in an outfit of felt and a feather
    Of hopes and dreams and the yearning to fly
    Was flung off of a cliff because I could not decide
    Between certain death and the absolute end.

    And it wasn't, but it was, and if it isn't then it might have been
    Because you don't need legs to fly but you need something, someone
    To carry your dreams and if no one will do it for you
    You must take them up in a wheelbarrow
    And take them into town like crops reaped for the season
    To sell them to spiders in the dark.

    And she may tell you that she loves you, that she hates you
    That she can't conceive of a world without you in it
    Because she's in it to win it and you can't begin to win without a loser
    She wants you to choose her because you don't have any choice
    She wants to take away your mind and make you say yes with your own voice
    But you know and she knows that the hate isn't there and if there's love it doesn't care
    Because nothing prospers upon these strands of spider web.

    Your feelings ebb and flow, why should you know what to do
    Or where to go, why is it up to you to forever brave this thing
    That has you wanting to run for home
    This terror eightfold that makes you want to reach out and grab and hold of
    Whatever it is, whoever it is, that knows the truth of how you deal
    That knows those hard nights with your hands upon the wheels
    Burning against the rubber when your grip slips away from it
    As you push yourself up a hill so steep that it's a miracle you even see daylight
    Above the crest of the grass when sun finally rises on another day of, what,
    The solitude of your own room and the comfort of colored text
    From miles away from friends who are there for you but aren't here when you need them
    And you wonder then if giving up is the right thing to do.

    You would get no satisfaction out of it but it would steal that feeling from her lips
    That grin might fade away, that same one that haunts you in the day
    Long after you awake and long after you fall asleep
    So maybe that hill isn't so steep but instead just steep enough
    But.

    But there are friends, and they say friendship is a disease
    But they don't say it with conviction, and sometimes they say please
    Before they ask you to do things that would have the beasts run from your side
    But your friends feel pride, you can feel it in the current of their thoughts
    And know that when they ought to help they are frought with worry
    Even when your eyes are blurry and you don't have the shoulder you need
    Because you're diseased, but that's not the affliction that they see.

    But you're not "you" because I am this, this restricted thing that longs for sky
    I don't care if I have to become a verb incarnate just to fly
    I am going to escape these damn confines
    And meet the clouds with my own eyes.

  19. #2194
    Comic Ungenius Gabu's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Oh fuck, I've been neglecting the romart and fanfiction threads for far too long now.

    I need to commit this weekend to catch the fuck up.

  20. #2195
    Rastea's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Hey gaiz!
    What am I doing back in this thread?
    I don't knooooow.



    I dunno, I've been having this urge to write Gamzee sopor slime withdrawal fic lately.
    CAN YOU TELL I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

    Arg, I'm so behind on this thread. :< I'm never going to catch up...

    Orange -- Waaaaa that was really cool, I like that! I wish I could write poetry like I used to...

  21. #2196
    Bass practice reminder PaulPower's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    @Lotus, sarasvati: Yeah, fair enough. As I say, mostly just an observation about how I write them and the definition of moirallegiance and thinking "hahaha, that fits so well". Obviously it's different for trolls and humans so who knows where John and Rose will end up if they get through this stuff and reach adulthood without dying or being erased from time or having their memories wiped or something equally downer-ending-y (sure hope none of that happens by the way ).

    (Saying that, it would actually kind of make sense for John to be clueless about such a thing even beyond his usual simpleness: Rose has a four month head start on him, and girls typically start taking an interest in that sort of thing earlier than boys).

  22. #2197
    Ember's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    VR: I can't say I've been following "Impermanence" closely, but I really enjoyed that last chapter. I love villain couples, and I love the idea of the kids being all fannish over the Midnight Crew universe, and this was just really adorable and well-done. Also you get a gold star for doing all that research for a story-within-a-story vignette.

    Breccia: I normally avoid Vriska/Tavros, partly for the reasons Sarasvati alluded to, partly because it always makes me get all wibbly for Kanaya in the back of my mind. However, I love this. Your characterization is spot-on and continually reminds me why I love the Trolls even as my patience with Hivebent wears thin. BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE. GIRL THINGS ARE COMPLICATED. Also the way you write Karkat/Sollux just keeps getting better and better and I thoroughly enjoyed their little part at the end. (Nitpick: Sollux would probably use the lower-class Troll words for things like "toilet bowl.")

  23. #2198

    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    nV: I really can't decide which I like more at times: your fiction, or your art. X3 I especially love the one of John and Terzi wearing each others glasses!

    Breccia: Eeeeeeee, I love you for this! It's so awkwardly THEM. And your Karkat/Sollux continues to be my favorite rendition of that pairing.

    Orange: *holds up lit lighter* encore!

    Rastea: I liked it! Having a hard time picturing a sober Gamazee with no makeup and brushed hair. (That last one made me laugh...it was such a Kanaya move!) The closest I can think is one of northernVehemence's illustrations for Windows, the one of young, pre-Juggulo Gamzee.
    My Deviantart Account/ My AO3 Account (both updated sporadically and infrequently. Yay for inconsistency!)

  24. #2199
    silrini's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction

    Quote Originally Posted by Rastea View Post
    I dunno, I've been having this urge to write Gamzee sopor slime withdrawal fic lately.
    CAN YOU TELL I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
    HEY GET OUT OF MY HEAD I JUST FINISHED VACUUMING AND REARRANGING THE FURNITURE AND EVERYTHING. ^__^' You totally stole my idea, although what I had in mind was more involved and probably more depressing, though I can never write anything that doesn't have a happy ending. XP I was just about to try and a post a snippet to see what other people thought. But yours was really awesome too, so no worries! Plus mine was gonna be from Gamzee's POV, so yeah. ^__^

  25. #2200
    What's a God to a Non-Believer Moderator Solaris's Avatar
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    Re: MSPA fan-fiction


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