Originally Posted by Iridium
What, really? What are you, a therapist? Don't you have anything better to do than to adjust everyone's pathetic little moods? And for what? The "greater good"? Man, Equipment Guy Mort doesn't give a crap about the greater good. Leave it to that massive weirdo, Friend Computer. Mort's business is cool, and helping out others ain't cool, man.
Originally Posted by zebtrestalala
Now THAT'S what you're talking about. You can see it already: you blasting the door in, Vasily right behind you. He yells something, really hard-boiled like: "EVERYONE GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! THIS IS MORT PATROL LOOKING FOR A COMPUTER-DAMNED SUPERSONIC TRANQUILIZER!" Yes. You need that sidekick.
Yovu give the old man some of your patented Mort Magic. His expression's a little... off... but it's probably just because silly old men aren't used to feeling so good. Your plan is working great. You can hear the lady researchers' hearts inside the room beating with anticipation already. Or maybe it's the sound of the throbbing pile of AWESOME building up inside you. Whatever that means.
Originally Posted by MystifyOriginally Posted by zebtrestalala
You wind up to teach that door a lesson. A lesson about messing with the WRONG equipment guy.
The crack you just heard... It was the sound of Alpha Complex cracking with the might of your foot. Definitely not your broken toe. No way. That was broken wayyyy before that. You're way too hard-boiled to let a broken toe get in your way. You ignore the searing pain and put on your definitely genuine, not forced at all Mort-style badass face.
VASILY: Now... now THAT was a sight y'don't see often, lad. Th' way y'kicked that door has me blood boilin'. I'm ready fer ACTION, lad. Let's DO this.
Originally Posted by IridiumOriginally Posted by Red HerringOriginally Posted by bobthepen
The door is intimidated now. Quick! It's the perfect time to pull off one of your Equipment Guy Tricks (tm)! You look inside your bag for the tool that'll teach this door, and all the doors to come, that you don't just refuse Mort|R|MPA|1.
Lesse... What stands out is a Raspberry-Flavoured Blowtorch (labelled: "Now 36% less self-destructive!"), a small amount of malleable putty linked to a red button, some kind of mini-computer attached to an universal wire, and for some reason a sonic screwdriver. You have no idea what any of those are actually for, or how they work.