Weird stuff happens (Dead Hippies Tell No Tales)

[GreyGabe]

What a perfect morning. What an average morning. You are quite certain that this will be a perfectly average day. After, of course, you remember your name. That seems to be giving you some trouble and you don't think that is normal at all. You don't remember not being able to remember your name. Of course, you don't not remember not being able to remember whether or not you remember your name. You hate suspiciously specific spontaneous retrograde amnesia. You're sure if you just concentrate your name will come to you...


Fanart!

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The Saddest Hippie by FKOD

[Iridium]

Name: Norman Egareva

[Dragon Fogel]

>You have no name. You used to have one, but you were stripped of it as a punishment after performing a shameful and forbidden act which nearly destroyed your entire society. When people absolutely must mention you, which they only do reluctantly, they call you He Who Is Eternally Shamed For His Hideous And Unforgivable Indiscretions.

>Alternatively, your name is Phil Parkson.

[KingTwelveSixteen]

>You have no name. You used to have one, but you were stripped of it as a punishment after performing a shameful and forbidden act which nearly destroyed your entire society. When people absolutely must mention you, which they only do reluctantly, they call you He Who Is Eternally Shamed For His Hideous And Unforgivable Indiscretions.

>Alternatively, your name is Phil Parkson.

>Meteor: Crash through window.

[Loather of Irk]

Your name is Richard Dale Dickinson. At least that's what you think it is. You have a long history as a legendary veterinarian who specializes in oyster lubrication, or something. You're not quite sure.

[GreyGabe]

Name: Norman Egareva

>Alternatively, your name is Phil Parkson.

Your name is Richard Dale Dickinson. At least that's what you think it is. You have a long history as a legendary veterinarian who specializes in oyster lubrication, or something. You're not quite sure.

Norman Egareva Parkson. Yes. That seems like a perfectly normal and un-extraordinary name, doesn't it? Though you aren't quite sure of the significance of the middle name. You also seem to remember being an animal doctor of some kind.

>You have no name. You used to have one, but you were stripped of it as a punishment after performing a shameful and forbidden act which nearly destroyed your entire society. When people absolutely must mention you, which they only do reluctantly, they call you He Who Is Eternally Shamed For His Hideous And Unforgivable Indiscretions.

You are pretty sure you would remember something like that. Then again, it's hard to say. Regardless, you are not going to go around introducing yourself as He Who Is et cetera. That wouldn't be normal at all!
That settled, you decide it's time to make like a tree and get the hell out of here.



Hmm. No matter how much you man-handle the door-knob, it won't budge. How very abnormal. Especially since you distinctly remember that you don't have a lock on this door.

>Meteor: Crash through window.

You hear a crashing sound and the tinkling of broken glass elsewhere in the house. You certainly hope you aren't being robbed. Or if you are the robber is at least a competent lock-smith and can let you out of your room.

On top of everything else your mouth is starting to feel... weird. This morning keeps getting worse and worse.

[Dragon Fogel]

>Try to open your window. If you can't, look outside through it and see if there's any sign of what made that noise.

[AvzinElkein]

Kick the door. (Yes, that's how it's done. You don't shoulder-tackle it, you kick it.)

[Xine8]

Kick the door. (Yes, that's how it's done. You don't shoulder-tackle it, you kick it.)

Son, We shoulder tackle where I come from.

> Rox:Fall

[GreyGabe]

Kick the door. (Yes, that's how it's done. You don't shoulder-tackle it, you kick it.)

Just to show how frustrated you are, you do what any normal man in your situation would do. You give it a solid kick.



The door-knob promptly pops out and hits you squarely in the face.
This strikes you as highly abnormal. And painful, for that matter.

Who puts a door-knob at face-height anyway?

>Try to open your window. If you can't, look outside through it and see if there's any sign of what made that noise.

Looking over at the window, you think you catch a quick, furtive movement, so you move to investigate. Predictably, the window is stuck. Looking out, you can see... practically nothing. A thick fog swirls and eddies about outside.

> Rox:Fall

HOLY HELL! WHAT'S GOING ON!?



Great. Now there's a big, gaping hole in the floor. That's coming out of the deposit. You think.

Your mouth still feels weird. Like something's... moving around in there. But... what could possibly be... No. You don't want to think about it.

[Quote]

look down the hole to check if you can jump down,
then get mattress and throw it in the hole.

[TheBoyd]

Yay! another Greyventure! ...wait... Gabeventure! ... Greygabeventure? ...

Your name does not lend itself to being portmanteau'd with adventure...

> Look around room. find something entertaining. sit on bed,ad n entertain yourself. Ignore these abnormalties.

or go find your best friend

[Dragon Fogel]

>Close your eyes, face the hole, and spit. That should get rid of that weird feeling in your mouth without having to find out what it actually is.

[KingTwelveSixteen]

>Close your eyes, face the hole, and spit. That should get rid of that weird feeling in your mouth without having to find out what it actually is.

[Loather of Irk]

Jump in the hole while making a rebel yell.

[GreyGabe]

> Look around room. find something entertaining. sit on bed,ad n entertain yourself. Ignore these abnormalties.

Unfortunately, the room is pretty barren of entertaining things. All that's in here is your bed. There isn't even anything hanging up. And you don't even want to think about the wall opposite your bed.



However you're feeling pretty stressed. So you hide under the bed covers and pretend you are a Transformer that can turn into a submarine. This calms you down somewhat.

>Close your eyes, face the hole, and spit. That should get rid of that weird feeling in your mouth without having to find out what it actually is.

You get out from under the covers and prepare to spit like you've never spat before. But suddenly, you hear voices.

"No more will we be prisoners in this dank, noisome cave! No more will be at the mercy of the great masticator! No more shall the brush of oppression scrub us down with the vile, minty gel of servitude! Rise up my brothers! Fight for your independence!"



"The Tooth will triumph! The Tooth will set you free!"

Oh God your teeth are revolting! Also they are trying to escape, and possibly to kill you from the sound of things.



You decide it's time to let them go.



Their leader manages to hang on for a second.

"I will make you pay for this, Parkson! Count on--"
The tooth falls. "--iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!"
That tooth was stranger than fiction.

Man, with all your teeth gone you guess you're stuck with jello. And shoup.
You hate shoup.
Unless you can somehow run a steak through a blender.

look down the hole to check if you can jump down,
then get mattress and throw it in the hole.

Looking down, you can't see the bottom.



You heave the mattress hole-ward.









You are getting the feeling that you are misunderstanding some of the more fundamental rules of this place.

Jump in the hole while making a rebel yell.

"WITH A REBEL YELL SHE CRIED 'MORE, MORE, MORE!'"

You leap into the center of the mattress screaming the lyrics to the only Billy Idol song you know. This unsurprisingly accomplishes nothing. But it is kinda fun.

You don't think this is something a normal person would do. You surprise yourself by not caring.



You have the strangest feeling you're being watched.

[Dragon Fogel]

>Grab that sheet, then jump back on the mattress and pretend to be a Transformer again.

[AvzinElkein]

"Two plus two equals fish!"

[KingTwelveSixteen]

>Glare at the window.

[GreyGabe]

"Two plus two equals fish!"

Why yes... wait... n-nnnnoooooo... argh!
You think you may have just suffered a minor brain aneurysm. Nothing to worry about, though.

>Grab that sheet, then jump back on the mattress and pretend to be a Transformer again.

That sounds like fun! This time you'll transform into a--



okay okay weird eye-stalk things watching me what do i do what do i do

>Glare at the window.

You quickly muster up the most intimidating glare you can manage.



Ha! That'll show them to wave their creepy flagellating eye-stalks around here.

[Dragon Fogel]

>Now that they're gone, and quite clearly will not be coming back under any circumstances, get back on that mattress and TRANSFORM!

[GreyGabe]

>Now that they're gone, and quite clearly will not be coming back under any circumstances, get back on that mattress and TRANSFORM!

Obviously no intelligent creature would come back to face a glower of that magnitude! You feel quite safe in pulling the sheet over your head and Transforming!



CHU CHU CHU CHU CHU!



Rrrrrrah! Land-stalking laser submarine! Where is your god now, Megatron!?

CRUNCHACRUNCHACRUNCHACRUNCHA



That wasn't the answer you were expecting.

[TheBoyd]

(I like the new name)

> suffer delayed reaction to bad puns

[Ruki]

> Pretend to fire laser at source of sound.

[GodPiece]

>Jump through the window