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Thread: Iji

  1. #1
    Freddie Uranus Captain Lhurgoyf's Avatar
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    Iji





    A young woman stands in her bedroom. It just so happens that, unbeknownst to this young woman, this particular day will have particular importance to the world. What shall this young woman's name be?

    ENTER NAME: GORBLESNATCH VON HUMPERDINK
    No way, Jose.

    ENTER NAME: IJI KATAISER



    Your name is Iji Kataiser. You are an enormous fan of the popular webcomic Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, which you believe to be the greatest work of literature ever written in the history of the world. You're the kind of fan who likes to hurl themselves down the stairs in order to reenact your favourite scenes from the comic. You do not believe that alien lifeforms exist, a statement that may or may not become extremely ironic later on. You also are interested in such things as missiles, explosions, and incredibly heavy weaponry, and are somewhat good with computers. What do you do?



    Recap
    (I had to delete the List O' Stats sorry)
    Last edited by Captain Lhurgoyf; 02-20-2011 at 08:28 AM.
    Ach! Hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!
    AVGN Quote of the Moment-I-Have-Time-To-Update-It: "When we heard that a Ghostbusters game for Nintendo was coming out, we were so excited, we shit our pants! Literally, shit came out our asses and we rocketed through the roof! "

  2. #2
    Chaos Weaver Asmodemus's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    > Examine TV at the bottom of the screen.
    The only constant is Chaos.
    Avatar by the Amazing Gentrigger, author of Songs we sing, with some minor terrible editing by me to fit.

  3. #3

    Re: Iji

    Visit the link that your drunken friend gave you last night.

  4. #4
    Freddie Uranus Captain Lhurgoyf's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    > Examine TV at the bottom of the screen.



    That's actually your computer, but OK. The area is still littered with candy wrappers after you stayed up to 2:00 AM last night reading SBAHJ and editing the wiki. You're the kind of fan most people would call "obsessed", but you take pride in the fact that you're not as big as a slacker as your stoner brother.

    > Visit the link that your drunken friend gave you last night.



    You have absolutely no idea what this has to do with anything, so you go back to your homepage instead.



    Last edited by Captain Lhurgoyf; 02-20-2011 at 08:24 AM.
    Ach! Hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!
    AVGN Quote of the Moment-I-Have-Time-To-Update-It: "When we heard that a Ghostbusters game for Nintendo was coming out, we were so excited, we shit our pants! Literally, shit came out our asses and we rocketed through the roof! "

  5. #5
    Chaos Weaver Asmodemus's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    > Run a search for Iji Tvtropes.com, see if there's any characters with the same name as you.

    > View bookcase and examine it's contents.
    The only constant is Chaos.
    Avatar by the Amazing Gentrigger, author of Songs we sing, with some minor terrible editing by me to fit.

  6. #6

    Re: Iji

    OH GOD! ARTIFACTS are leaking into reality!

  7. #7
    I'd strike that earth. Gnauga's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    Acquire nano-enhancements or something. Hell if I know.

  8. #8
    Freddie Uranus Captain Lhurgoyf's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    [b]
    > View bookcase and examine it's contents.



    Upon closer inspection, this isn't a bookcase at all! It's a wall modelled to look like a bookcase for the express purpose of filling up space!



    There is a BAG OF JELLYBEANS and a HORSE PLUSHIE in the cabinet, though.

    > Acquire nano-enhancements or something. Hell if I know.

    Please, that sounds like something your dad would say.



    Your father, RON, is a mad scientist. Currently, he's been employed in a local military research facility for community service after he destroyed half the town while testing a killer robot. Since then, though, he's constantly been trying to get you to appreciate his weird inventions. Last you heard, he's been working on a death ray that could "ward off the invading raisins". That makes no sense, but you'll go with it.

    > Run a search for Iji Tvtropes.com, see if there's any characters with the same name as you.

    INTERLUDE OF SILLINESS





    Doodadoodadoodadoo DOO DOO

    END INTERLUDE OF SILLINESS


    Ach! Hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!
    AVGN Quote of the Moment-I-Have-Time-To-Update-It: "When we heard that a Ghostbusters game for Nintendo was coming out, we were so excited, we shit our pants! Literally, shit came out our asses and we rocketed through the roof! "

  9. #9
    Chaos Weaver Asmodemus's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    > Examine bananas and spiked fruit on table by poster.
    The only constant is Chaos.
    Avatar by the Amazing Gentrigger, author of Songs we sing, with some minor terrible editing by me to fit.

  10. #10
    Thief of Hearts Reecer6's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    > Make an account of TVTropes, oblivious of the entry on your game.
    hello friends, i still exist.
    Avatar by Nimz.

  11. #11

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    Re: Iji

    > Leave room.

  12. #12
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    Re: Iji

    >Have a good time. HAVE A GOOD TIME

  13. #13
    Freddie Uranus Captain Lhurgoyf's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    [center:1upo3hnp]> Examine bananas and spiked fruit on table by poster.



    You examine your potted plant, CHUCK. He's really there only to take up space as well. The real attraction on this wall would be your Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff Poster.



    It is decidedly hella sweet.

    1/11 POSTERS FOUND



    > Make an account of TVTropes, oblivious of the entry on your game.



    Your life's already been ruined by SBAHJ, so you decide to sign up on TV Tropes. And you know exactly where you're going.



    > Have a good time. HAVE A GOOD TIME



    You develop a sudden urge to entertain yourself. This comes to you in the form of dancing like a maniac.

    > Leave room.



    But eventually you just get bored and walk out of your room.

    [/center:1upo3hnp]
    Ach! Hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!
    AVGN Quote of the Moment-I-Have-Time-To-Update-It: "When we heard that a Ghostbusters game for Nintendo was coming out, we were so excited, we shit our pants! Literally, shit came out our asses and we rocketed through the roof! "

  14. #14
    Boss Tseralith's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    What does the note on the other door say?
    Never say you have to do it.
    Instead, say you want to do it.

  15. #15
    Did Not Think This Through MrGuy's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    Vow to kick aliens in the crotch when you grow up.
    Avatar by Lankie.

  16. #16

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    Re: Iji



    > Activate Retribution


    (Don't look at me like that)

  17. #17
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    Re: Iji

    >Wonder if the player got 100% on everything.

  18. #18
    Freddie Uranus Captain Lhurgoyf's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    > What does the note on the other door say?



    "Gladnessmelted, the Quietness of Taxing. This is a wooden door. All craftsdwarfship is of the finest quality. It menaces with spikes of imaginary green tourmaline. On the item is an image of a dwarf in paper. The dwarf is laughing."

    This is your brother's room. He's posted this note on the door in yet another one of his strange mood shenanigans. Just as you're obsessed with Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, your brother, DAN, is obsessed with Dwarf Fortress, a bizarre computer game that he is absolutely addicted to despite the fact that, from what you've seen of it, one needs to have a master's degree in metaphysical philosophy to play it. He's so into the game that he randomly creates "artifacts" just like his "dwarves", mostly consisting of bending paper clips into weird shapes and taping pictures on things (or "engraving", as he calls it). And people call YOU weird.

    > Vow to kick aliens in the crotch when you grow up.



    What utter nonsense! Aliens don't exist. The sightings of UFOs can be attributed to clouds, planes, and mass hysteria. It is a clear fact that there are no such things as aliens, and even if they were, it is doubtful that they would take any interest in the Earth, such as, say, attempting to nuke it to oblivion. And that won't happen because aliens don't exist.

    > Activate Retribution



    You attempt to RETRIBUTE, but in order to do that, you'd have to have sufficient weaponry and also be a cyborg. And the only cyborg around here is that gorilla in your dad's lab.

    > Wonder if the player got 100% on everything.



    [/quote]

    You know, seeing you here was one of the reasons I started this so soon. Actually, Homestuck was one of my big inspirations for this. The original name was going to be "Ijistuck".
    Ach! Hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!
    AVGN Quote of the Moment-I-Have-Time-To-Update-It: "When we heard that a Ghostbusters game for Nintendo was coming out, we were so excited, we shit our pants! Literally, shit came out our asses and we rocketed through the roof! "

  19. #19
    Boss Tseralith's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    Decend down the stairs. SBHJ style!
    Never say you have to do it.
    Instead, say you want to do it.

  20. #20
    Did Not Think This Through MrGuy's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    Prank call your brother.
    Avatar by Lankie.

  21. #21

  22. #22
    KingTwelveSixteen's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    >Head out to the car, its bring your kids to work day at the top secret military base remember?

  23. #23
    Freddie Uranus Captain Lhurgoyf's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    [font=Courier]
    > Prank call your brother.
    > Decend down the stairs. SBHJ style!



    You decide the best course of action is to send your brother an obnoxious prank call, but in order to do that, you'll need to get to the PHONE. And that's downstairs.



    YOU TOLD YOURSELF
    YOU TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!



    You slam into the floor and suffer the loss of one HEALTH POINT, of which you have two. Not that it matters, since the chances of you getting into any sort of life-threatening situation any time soon is pretty slim.



    Just then, your dad walks in.



    Well, that would prevent you from sneaking into the kitchen to use the phone. Hmm.



    You guess you'll just use your CELL PHONE instead.

    > Be the other guy





    You are now DAN.
    Ach! Hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!
    AVGN Quote of the Moment-I-Have-Time-To-Update-It: "When we heard that a Ghostbusters game for Nintendo was coming out, we were so excited, we shit our pants! Literally, shit came out our asses and we rocketed through the roof! "

  24. #24

  25. #25
    KingTwelveSixteen's Avatar
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    Re: Iji

    >Play dwarf fortress; make a stupid mistake and flood the land with magma, killing everything.

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