[b]> Iji: Kick the door, and then screech like a Witch, in an attempt to disorient the Tasen inside the building.
> Iji: Kick down door, kick Tasen if you're strong enough.
> Iji: Onward!
You're not really that good at imitating Left 4 Dead sound effects, so you do this instead:
You set right to unleashing your FEET OF FURY.
Running back into the building, you catch sight of a HEALTH STATION. You go and set your HEALTH back to LEVEL 3, because you won't last long against a COMMANDER with just two HIT POINTS.
While you're getting HEALTH back, however, the COMMANDER sweeps you across the room with his claw. It's a madhouse in here!
As soon as you can feel your face, you get up and jump onto the ledge above you, activating the CHECKPOINT. That was close.
Okay, back to TASEN-KICKING.
You land on a sizeable portion of NANO and LEVEL UP at around the same time you kick this TURRET. What a deal!
And because you can never have enough NANO, you hop up onto this ledge to get more.
There's also a LOGBOOK up here. Always good. Reading this one reminds you that your RESONANCE REFLECTOR and BUCKSHOT AMPLISPLODER disappeared into the void when you REBOOTED yourself, and that makes you sad. You'll have to crack them again when you find a WEAPON STATION.
> If memory serves, there is a Rocket Launcher in this room. Along with another Tasen Upgrade Station. You know what to do.
In the meantime, you put that POINT into TASEN. You still have one LEVEL to go before you can wield a ROCKET LAUNCHER, but you'll get to that.
Anyway, where to now?
> Iji: Consider getting an even mix of Crack and Tasen and trying to make new weapon combos.
At this rate, we'll have to use our last normal point for this Sector on Tasen if we want a rocket launcher by the end of it (and we do. Don't lie.). However, I can put the Supercharge for this sector into Crack, because at this rate, we'll be getting that too.
> Urist McDan: Head out and look for anything interesting or things that need doing.
> Urist McDan: Head onwards, admiring any ENGRAVINGS you see.
You walk across the room to the MEETING HALL. Here, the DWARVES of the FORTRESS meet to discuss and/or argue over various manners. Some of your fellow residents are here, but they seem to be in the middle of a conversation, so you ignore them. You check out the rather impressive ENGRAVING on the back wall instead.
On the wall is an ENGRAVING of a DWARF and DWARVES. The DWARF is on fire. The DWARF is surrounded by the DWARVES. The DWARVES are laughing.
This is an accurate depiction of the incident last Malachite. You give props up to the artist, COG STEELFLAME. Sadly, he died in a tragic incident recently involving elephants.
> Yukabacera: Wonder if the Human Anomaly have arrived in sector 3. Message Vateilika.
You're concerned about VATEILIKA, since you've heard that the HUMAN ANOMALY has gotten into Sector 3, and last you heard from her, that's where she was moved to. You'd also like to check on the status of the cracked MPFB DEVASTATOR.
> Vateilika: Be too busy trying to make sense of the plot to answer Yukabacera
> Vateilika: Lose repeatedly to Gunther's annoying one-hit-kill attacks and question the developers' logic in putting a boss this difficult this early in the game.
AAAARGGGHHH! HOW is that even fair?!? What kind of game designer puts such a tough boss in so early? This is dumb! Seriously, that is such a cheap trick! And this plot still isn't making any sense!!!! GAH! But you like the music, anyway.
> Yukabacera: Oh my god! The Human Anomaly must have killed her!
Oh no! No response! B-but...the HUMAN ANOMALY must have killed her! NOOOOOO! Not your former sweetheart! And now whatever you had left of a plan will never come to fruition! CURSE YOU, ANOMAAALLLLYYYYYYY!!!!! CUUUURRRRSSSEEEE YOOOOOOOUU!!!!
> Geoff: Head outside and see how things are going.
You take a look outside, but things are still pretty bleak. The ground is beaten and cratered, plant life has withered away, many larger buildings are blown straight through, when it rains it's acidic, and occasionally some alien ships fly over on patrol.
You wonder how the Kataisers are even sticking around through all of this. Maybe the conditons aren't so bad up in Wisconsin.
Oh, who are you kidding? They're probably, you don't know, hiding out in some elabourate highly-fortified military complex or something. You don't know.
> Interlude of Silliness: Have every single character including those who haven't even appeared yet start the RAVE!
INTERLUDE OF SILLINESS
Okay, here we go now. (spoiled for big pictures)
You gather up every important character who is currently alive in their own time frame, from all three adventures thus far set in this universe, including those who haven't appeared but eventually will. In the immortal words of Hella Jeff: let's DO this thing. lets make this shit work. where doing it man
where MAKING THIS HAPEN
END INTERLUDE OF SILLINESS