The Great Fight [Like a Grand Battle but Not]

**Ixcalibur** · 06-04-2010, 04:08 PM

A postman trudges along an old brick road, his bag bulging full of letters all addressed to one house, the only house on the postman's route. The only house in the entire dimension. A man naps, curled up on a lime green sofa, in an interestingly decorated living room. From ornate ornaments, to modern art pieces, to a bookcase made of wooden blocks upon a pair of cinderblocks the living room encompassed a vast number of different styles, all of which managed to clash horribly with each other and the rooms occupant. There is a knock upon the front door of the house, which wakes the man from his slumber.

"I'll be there in a minute." He called, with a yawn. He had a feeling he had been asleep for a very long time, and to be honest he felt more tired now than when he had gone to sleep. He grabs a classic snap brimmed brown fedora from the vintage coffee table and jambs it onto the top of his head. It suits his look, which can only be described as a combination of clothes that should never be worn together. He is wearing a smart black suit jacket and white undershirt, a novelty tie with piano keys printed on it, a black spiked punk wristband, a pair of frayed brown fingerless gloves, a beaded necklace and a pendant with a peace symbol on it, multiple gold rings with dollar signs on them, a long multicoloured scarf, torn stonewashed jeans and sandals. He himself is made from a thick white smoke shaped to resemble the body of a human. He is truly a sight to behold. He is known as The Eclectic. Guess why.

He stands up and walks to the front door, stretching as he does so. He opens the door and is greeted by the postman program he created, standing with a mailbag full of post and a beleaguered expression on his face. The Eclectic takes the mailbag and with a click of his fingers, dismisses the postman program, who dissipates into a cloud of mist. The Eclectic carried the bag into the living room and dumped it out over his coffee table. Letters stream forth from the upended bag; parcels and packages, videotapes and photographs. This is far too much post for a single day, clearly. The Eclectic reasons that the postman program must have developed a fault. He will look into it at some point. Looking through the debris he selects a letter at random and opens it. It's from The Director. In the letter he talks about some cool fight that he's just set up involving combatants plucked from time and space. It sounds cool and The Eclectic figures he'll give it some more attention when he uncovers the purpose of the rest of this mail.

A couple of hours later and The Eclectic is making frantic notes on Grand Battles. It turns out that he was asleep for almost an entire year and he's been missing out on the biggest thing to ever hit the Grandmaster community. All his friends are holding Grand Battles, even The Wordsmith and he's been dead for seven thousand years. The Eclectic makes his decision right then and there. He's going to hold a Grand Battle of his own and this one is going to known as the... erm... he hesitates uncertainly... The Great Fight? He guesses that will have to do.

**andanotherone** · 06-04-2010, 04:25 PM

Name:Brown
Gender: N/A
Race: Color
Text Colour: brown
Weapons: Variable
Description: The anthropomorphic personification of the color brown. Most of the time just a floating cloud of brown, can take shape of whatever, whenever. Enjoys company, will do most anything to have a companion.
Biography: Recently brought into existence by the Eclectic.
Setting: Our own universe. The color was torn out of it.

**cyber95** · 06-04-2010, 04:40 PM

what you never asked to do this this is terrible you are ruining grand battles forever

**Schazer** · 06-04-2010, 06:32 PM

I see you one intriguing idea for an adventure, and raise you a whackjob character.

Name: Cerro Azul (named after his mountain, in the tradition of all self-respecting Cherufe)
Gender: The competitor's gender. Male pronoun should do it, though genderless.
Race: Cherufe - malevolent beasts formed of rock and magma, which cause earthquakes and eruptions when not sated with human flesh.
Text Colour: A piping hot shade of #FF4040
Weapons: Fists like maces. Maces fresh out of a forge, and piping hot. A body temperature that'd burn at a touch, and roast flesh to a crisp if exposed too long.
Abilities: Can cause earthquakes and eruptions, but the ability to do so is inversely proportional to its distance from magma. Heat doesn't bother it; but weak against the cold. If he got too cold, the magma would solidify and render him immobile. To counter this, Cerro can shed built-up rock and also redistribute the heat through its body, so can ramp up the temperature to the point where he could melt steel in one hand. Such finesse is, of course, impossible when he's angry.
Description: Cerro is a veritable giant of a humanoid, twenty feet tall and built like a golem when in his volcano. When dragged out of it for an extended time, he shrinks to much more humanoid proportions, though still about eight feet tall and solidly built. In either form, he has a large, lizard-like tail which drags along the ground, but he's got the strength to swing it (and cause volcanic activity in his large form). He has three blocky fingers and a thumb on each meaty hand, and basically looks like a man made out of lava with chunks of black rock floating around in it. He's a haughty old mountain god who hasn't been fed in a while, and is none-too-cheerful about that. Partial to the odd human sacrifice when he can get his hands on one, but quite content to eat other things which have a low melting point. Cerro is bad-tempered and violent, but also cunning - he's well aware that if he can't get home to his mountain, he'll freeze to death.
Biography: Cerro Azul, in his heyday, had a sizeable following of Chileans who served him a steady supply of virginal sacrifices in return for him not erupting all over their villages. The arrival of those who turned his followers against him prompted Cerro to cause a fair bit of destruction, to show them who was boss. Sensibly, they all relocated a safe distance, leaving the mountain monster to sulk to itself for several centuries and reflect on the good old days. When bored enough, he'd periodically throw a tantrum, but most of the time just grumbled around his volcanic home.
Setting: A couple of hours' drive east from San Clemente, then a fair old slog up to the crater. The crater's filled with water at the moment; an indication that Cerro is resting or hiding deep underground, feeling sorry for himself.

**Dragon Fogel** · 06-04-2010, 06:42 PM

**MalkyTop** · 06-04-2010, 08:08 PM

Name: Beta
Gender: No real gender, honestly, though just call it a she.
Race: Robot prototype
Text Colour: How 'bout #838B8B
Weapons: Beta was programmed with a plasma cannon as an arm. Her other arm is supposed to be something almost like a swiss army knife, but so far the ones that made her managed to fit only a buzzsaw and a welding tool. She also has an incomplete chest cannon and her fingers are supposed to be able to puncture almost anything, but that fell short too.
Abilities: Beta is a calculator and a strategist and also a cook. Her AI has a few kinks to work out, especially if she has little information to work with, so she may behave erratically or illogically. It can be funny.
Description: Beta would look like a normal woman if it weren't for the fact that she clanks when she walks. Effort was made to make her look human, but she's made completely out of metal and the ball joints to allow her to actually bend are clearly visible. Beta is cold and indifferent. She seems to have an aura of superiority and sometimes when she talks she sounds as though she's talking down to people but usually the observers dismiss it because robots are cold and indifferent and emotionless! Feelings of superiority would just be silly! Beta is programmed to amass all available information and act accordingly. She doesn't recognize when she has too little information so she may seem hasty. She just picks up extra info along the way. She may be a little gun-crazy.
Biography: There's really not much to the history of Beta. Scientists decided to build a weaponized female robot cook and ran with it. She's the prototype. She stands around and occasionally is tested and then the scientists try to improve her and then she is tested again.
Setting: Beta's whole world is a lab. She sits in a large, steel room. The scientists observe her from a window as she either destroys targets or plays chess or whatever they decide to make her do. The lab she is held in is not even heavily guarded. It's isolated, in the middle of a forest and sort of looks like a plain office building. Except it's in the middle of a forest. There are keypads and passwords and keycards galore. And computers. There's a guard that sits at the entrance. That's about it.

**thetoastking** · 06-04-2010, 09:07 PM

interesting, interesting. bumping to see where this is going to go.

**Ixcalibur** · 06-05-2010, 02:19 AM

Originally Posted by andanotherone

Brown

The Eclectic has a certain recognisable style that can be found in the way he decorates his house and his mode of dress. While other people see it as just mashing together as random a collection of things as possible he appreciates that he's really combining a varied and diverse selection of styles into something greater than their individual parts. It is this style that he intends to bring to The Great Fight, especially when it comes to his line up of contestants.
He has a great idea for his first contestant, that doesn't even require him leaving his home dimension. He clicks his fingers, creating a floating translucent orange screen in front of him. He starts tapping on the screen, opening and activating various programs, inputting values which the machinery asked him to check in case there had been some kind of mistake. A couple of seconds later, he clicks his fingers again and it dissipates.

Suddenly a breeze is blowing through the house, and The Eclectic can hear his computer grumbling at being asked to perform such an arduous task despite having dissipated. The wind increased, growing in ferocity, blowing the front door open with a thud. The winds lifted The Eclectic's prized fedora from his head, through the hall and out into the garden. He, dashed down the hall and into the garden. There in the middle of the garden was a swirling vortex of colour, upon which his hat rested. To the Eclectic's disbelief, the wind's strengthened yet again and he found his gloves being pulled straight off his hands. Quickly he reacted and jambed them into his pockets. After a second he saw their colour being pulled through the air to the vortex. The winds calmed and The Eclectic pulled his hands out of his pocket to see that his gloves were now completely transparent. The Eclectic shrugged and turned his attention to the large cloud of brown that had formed itself into a vaguely humanoid shape.
"Hello!" he said cheerfully. "I'm the Eclectic and I'd like to welcome you to..." he paused for dramatic emphasis that was lost on the floating mass of brown "... The Great Fight!"

"What is the Great Fight?" the brown cloud asked, it's voice raspy and uncertain.

"It's a really cool new fight to the death between eight competitors. There are all kinds of crazy rounds and everything. You're going to really enjoy it, you know, presuming you survive long enough to do so." The Eclectic babbled enthusiastically. He summoned up his computer and quickly activated a commonly used program, entering a random string of numbers as the key variable, activated the program and dismissed the computer. He did this so fast that all the brown creature saw was a momentary blur. "I just have to go and collect some other contestants. Don't go wandering off." And on cue, a portal opened next to him, that would lead him into a randomly selected dimension to search for viable contestants for the battle. The Eclectic waved to the brown being and left.

**Ixcalibur** · 06-05-2010, 02:19 AM

**Schazer** · 06-05-2010, 05:57 PM

Go catch up with the Cultivator. You guys are like BFFs, right?

Plus you never know, she might have a few extra villains floating around for you to borrow.

**Schazer** · 06-05-2010, 05:57 PM

Go catch up with the Cultivator. You guys are like BFFs, right?

Plus you never know, she might have a few extra villains floating around for you to borrow.

**andanotherone** · 06-05-2010, 07:05 PM

**andanotherone** · 06-05-2010, 07:05 PM

**TheBoyd** · 06-05-2010, 08:27 PM

Intriguing. I can't handle walls of text, which is why I've never read a grand battle. (though of course I still know about them and some of there more well known characters)

As a collab and writing contest, requiring art wouldn't work, and the system is really good.

As an adventure of a behind the scene's you-are-the-Grandmaster thing, having a less text-venture feel would work.

I'm not saying you're doing it wrong, it's just a really cool idea and since it isn't a collab it could be done with images. Which of course would be better for showing the non-grandbattle crowd in. You've probably noticed the same handful of people in each grandbattle.

And yes, I get it, thats a lot of work and this is a more true to the meduim style, which makes for faster updates. I'm just thinking out loud is all.

**TheBoyd** · 06-05-2010, 08:27 PM

Intriguing. I can't handle walls of text, which is why I've never read a grand battle. (though of course I still know about them and some of there more well known characters)

As a collab and writing contest, requiring art wouldn't work, and the system is really good.

As an adventure of a behind the scene's you-are-the-Grandmaster thing, having a less text-venture feel would work.

I'm not saying you're doing it wrong, it's just a really cool idea and since it isn't a collab it could be done with images. Which of course would be better for showing the non-grandbattle crowd in. You've probably noticed the same handful of people in each grandbattle.

And yes, I get it, thats a lot of work and this is a more true to the meduim style, which makes for faster updates. I'm just thinking out loud is all.

**Rinoka** · 06-05-2010, 08:42 PM

Looks good.

Name: Liskal
Gender: Male
Race: Humanoid
Text Colour: How about something like this? (It's 5757FF)
Weapons: A portable stash of potions he's either made or collected, along with a revolver (in which he only has 6 bullets, and doesn't have any other bullets for it), and dual knives. He's not very good with the revolver, though.
Abilities:
Timebending: Due to the mixed species of his parents, he's gained the ability to mess with time. Doesn't mean Dave-style TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME BOTH WAYS UNSTOPPABLY. Because of the fact he doesn't use it much, his ability with it is next to none, tending to throw him around in time either a minute forwards or a minute backwards. At best, he can travel five minutes forward or five minutes backward, but won't be able to move through time unless he goes in the opposite direction/catches up with himself.
Potions: The potions vary, but normally they act as acid bombs. He has potions to amplify his timebending ability, but the ingredients are rare and he only uses it if he is at a clear disadvantage.
Description: Liskal normally doesn't start fights, but ends them. He's normally not aggressive, but he can be very skilled at self defense; and he doesn't exactly care if it's lethal or nonlethal. When not fighting, he's curious, outspoken, and a little bit more annoying than he thinks he is. He normally wears a labcoat over a black shirt and jeans, along with tennis shoes.
Biography: His father was a shapeshifter, and his mother was the creator and protector of realms. She could walk across the 'borders' between worlds. Their children never came out normal; his brother was a vampire from birth, and he was able to control time. Eventually he left his parents to seek power, only to be battered and bruised by the man he'd gone to in the first place. He still has the scars. He managed to get the guy off of his back and fled, leaving to wander. He explored science, and by mixing it with magic, came up with his potions and inventions. Unfortunately, he didn't bring any inventions with him to the fight.
Setting: Think Earth, plus mythical creatures and magic. That's basically the world he lives in.

**Rinoka** · 06-05-2010, 08:42 PM

Looks good.

Name: Liskal
Gender: Male
Race: Humanoid
Text Colour: How about something like this? (It's 5757FF)
Weapons: A portable stash of potions he's either made or collected, along with a revolver (in which he only has 6 bullets, and doesn't have any other bullets for it), and dual knives. He's not very good with the revolver, though.
Abilities:
Timebending: Due to the mixed species of his parents, he's gained the ability to mess with time. Doesn't mean Dave-style TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME BOTH WAYS UNSTOPPABLY. Because of the fact he doesn't use it much, his ability with it is next to none, tending to throw him around in time either a minute forwards or a minute backwards. At best, he can travel five minutes forward or five minutes backward, but won't be able to move through time unless he goes in the opposite direction/catches up with himself.
Potions: The potions vary, but normally they act as acid bombs. He has potions to amplify his timebending ability, but the ingredients are rare and he only uses it if he is at a clear disadvantage.
Description: Liskal normally doesn't start fights, but ends them. He's normally not aggressive, but he can be very skilled at self defense; and he doesn't exactly care if it's lethal or nonlethal. When not fighting, he's curious, outspoken, and a little bit more annoying than he thinks he is. He normally wears a labcoat over a black shirt and jeans, along with tennis shoes.
Biography: His father was a shapeshifter, and his mother was the creator and protector of realms. She could walk across the 'borders' between worlds. Their children never came out normal; his brother was a vampire from birth, and he was able to control time. Eventually he left his parents to seek power, only to be battered and bruised by the man he'd gone to in the first place. He still has the scars. He managed to get the guy off of his back and fled, leaving to wander. He explored science, and by mixing it with magic, came up with his potions and inventions. Unfortunately, he didn't bring any inventions with him to the fight.
Setting: Think Earth, plus mythical creatures and magic. That's basically the world he lives in.

**MalkyTop** · 06-06-2010, 11:14 AM

Obviously, Brown must now start messing with whatever it sees.

By the way: Avoid the Composer. She'll probably start telling you that you're doing it wrong because she's a meanie like that.

**MalkyTop** · 06-06-2010, 11:14 AM

Obviously, Brown must now start messing with whatever it sees.

By the way: Avoid the Composer. She'll probably start telling you that you're doing it wrong because she's a meanie like that.

**Ixcalibur** · 06-08-2010, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by Schazer

Go catch up with the Cultivator. You guys are like BFFs, right?

The Eclectic steps through the portal and into a dimension apparently formed entirely of clutter. Unwisely The Eclectic neglects to watch where he's stepping and his foot finds a discarded skateboard, causing him to plummet backwards through the portal and back into his garden. The colour brown stared at him, bewilderedly. The Eclectic stood up, brushed himself off, turned to Brown and gave him a look that said 'I meant to do that', before making his way through the portal again, this time more careful to see where he was going. The portal closed up behind him, and for the next couple of minutes he was picking his way through the piles of random clutter, his eyes occasionally alighting on a particuarly odd object that he would take for himself if he wasn't so sure that The Dabbler would notice. In the distance he heard the sound of fighting, and navigated his way in that general direction. As he neared he could see a selection of old televisions arranged in a circle around a gaudy purple sofa. Sat on the sofa was The Dabbler, her hair clumsily tied back into a ponytail. She was leaning forward, glancing between the screens and making occassional notes.
"Hey, whatever your name is this year."The Eclectic says.

"I'm The Cultivator now." she responded, not looking up from her notes. "And I'm sticking with it."

"Sure you are." The Eclectic replies. "And I'm going to co-ordinate my wardrobe." The Cultivator glanced around at him.

"Oh, Eclectic!" she said, surprised. "It's been a while."

"I overslept. By quite a considerable margin." The Eclectic responded. "Nevermind that though. Grand Battles! This is yours I take it?"

"Yeah. I've just moved them into this abandoned park." The Cultivator says. "Apparently there's some kind of horrible creature in there and a giant mech as well which is a bit odd. I should really have given the place a proper examination before setting up the round there." They stood there and watched as they argued amongst themselves for a moment. "So... you want to start up your own right?"

"Yeah definitely, it's called The Great Fight." The Eclectic pauses, "Yeah I know, it's the best I could come up with. You guys already took the best names. I've already got my first contestant though."

"You're getting them yourself?" The Cultivator asked. "Don't you have any Gentlemen for that kind of thing?"

"I tried programming some Gentlemen once but they had pathing issues. Used to just stand there and bang into one another. Gave me a headache.” The Eclectic paused. “So the universe is a big place to select contestants from at random, I was wondering if you had any spare that could come and compete in The Great Fight.”

“I do have one.” The Cultivator replied thoughtfully. “The Director imposed this limitation on me where I could only have villains and she isn't technically a villain. Technically she isn't a she either but so many contestants technically don't have a gender that it's kind of beside the point. I've got a file on her somewhere.” She glanced around at the clutter. “I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere.”

The Eclectic sat down and watched the Grand Battle for a little while, as he waited for the Cultivator to return from her trip. He was about to give up entirely when she returned carrying a clear plastic file with the contestant's information inside. “That bloodstained thing really hates you.” The Eclectic remarks.

“Yeah I know. I had to make him fight fair and he took it kind of personal.” The Cultivator says with a shrug. “Here's the file on Beta.” She handed it to The Eclectic.

”Thanks Dabbles.” He said with a grin.

“The Cultivator.” She responded, mock exasperatedly. “And I think it's too late to be an official Season Two battle, but you should go and talk to The Director anyway. You know how he gets when people don't fill him in.”

”Yeah sure.” The Eclectic says. “I can't wait. In fact I'll go and do it right now.” The Cultivator rolls her eyes.

“Well, whatever.” She says. “Later Eccles.”

The Eclectic quickly flips open the file, finds the code for the dimension he would be visiting and imputs it into his console. A portal promptly opens and with a quick wave to The Cultivator he steps through it. On the other side he finds himself standing in the middle of a dense forest, a thick canopy of trees blocking out the sunlight. Unsure what to expect from such a cursory glance at Beta's file he walks through the trees, carefully as the gnarled roots seem to curl around his feet, until he reaches a clearing, in the centre of which stands an incongruous office block, towering over the native foliage. Standing in front of the door of the office block is a bored looking security guard. The Eclectic ponders how to best approach this situation.

**MalkyTop** · 06-08-2010, 02:34 PM

Can't you, I dunno, open up a portal to pure horror and toss him in there so that he may forever be tortured by his worst nightmares?

Or if you want, you could just put him to sleep with a powder or a tainted pastry or whatever.

**andanotherone** · 06-08-2010, 02:43 PM

>Magic missile

**Schazer** · 06-08-2010, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by Malkytop

Avoid the Composer.

Seconded.

Now... saunter up to the main entrance with the air of someone who totally knows what they're doing.

**Rinoka** · 06-08-2010, 08:31 PM

**Schazer** · 06-09-2010, 07:44 PM

I'm still thinking about weird-ass characters, but here's some ideas for a MSPAFA round:

-All pokeventures. Ever.
-The caverns of Parrallels and Perpendicularities.
-The Enchanted Fairy Country from Mr. Fuzzleton's Funtime Adventure Quest.

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