Adventures in Minionhood.

[gloomyMoron]

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So, this is an adventure for "Don't-Call-Him-Dragon" DragonFogel's contest. It may involve gratuitous deaths and shitty art. Well the shitty art is my own special addition, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

This DOUCHE is Doctor Doktour Von Sillinamenstein Ph.E. It appears that the good doctor is taking a break from a the laborious but rewarding task of EVIL SCIENCING by partaking of his favorite past-time, a game of Kick-the-DOG. Thankfully, you are neither this douche or this dog.


You are this guy and you are about to die a relatively routine death.


Yep. You're dead alright. Ar-are those bits of brain matter? Man, that's gonna be a bitch to clean when you revive.


Speaking of, looks like the Regenitron is already working hard on just that. Ahh the sweet warm embrace of science.

[Restoring Life Functions in...]
[3]
[2]
[1]
*DING*
[Have an evil day.]

You are this guy. A minion under the evil EMPLOY of Doctor Doktour Von Sillinamenstein. By employ you mean 'an unwilling slave', of course. Your duties are supposed to entail guarding some of the various bases that the good doctor has at his disposal, and performing a myriad of tasks of ill and evil intent. Oh and you sometimes have to get the doctor coffee. Man, you hate when you have to do that. The ass.

You've never had a name as you've been a slave and faceless minion since you were born, but you somehow feel a distinction is being made. You feel as if it is finally time to don a name worthy of you.

What is your name?

[Dragon Fogel]

A death in the intro post? Now that's taking initiative!

[Schazer]

Murray.

[Andorxor]

>Bob 001
>Hit the regeneration thing until it produce Bob 002.Minion work is easier if it is spread out between several minions.

[thetoastking]

gordon freechman.

and mash the cloner button until you have an army to revolt against your master with.

[CCCXLII]

> TOM

[TheBoyd]

> Exploding Name

[brainfree]

Your name is Yu There, it causes no end of confusion.

[wizard96]

gordon freechman.

and mash the cloner button until you have an army to revolt against your master with.

[Xander]

Bob.

[Ub3rD4n]

Jeremy Freeman

[Anomaly]

> Raca Nabal.

[gloomyMoron]

Yes! Excellent. You are now Murray Yu Nabal, minion extraordinaire.


Wait. Something seems missing here.



[b]

[Restoring Life Functions in...]
[3]
[2]
[1]
*DING*
[Have an evil day.]

I am SO not cleaning that up.

and mash the cloner button until you have an army to revolt against your master with.

>Hit the regeneration thing until it produce Bob 002.Minion work is easier if it is spread out between several minions.

Your name isn't Bob, but it yet could still be, that is if you figure out how the Regenitron works. You decide to take a look at it.


It doesn't seem to have any buttons but the side panel comes off easy enough. You decide to fiddle around with the wiring and see if you can't get it to activate the regeneration process early.


With the expected result. You're just a minion not an brilliant scientist with a Ph.E. What were you thinking, numbnuts?

[b]

[Restoring Life Functions in...]
[3]
[2]
[1]
*DING*
[Have an evil day.]

Completely ignoring the your dead bodies, you proceed to the next room and find the TELE-PADS. One seems to take you to the Mars Base and the other takes you to the Oceanic Base. Both are probably in need of some good minion-ing. Which do you take?

[Andorxor]

Send your corpses to Mars base and visit the Ocean base.

[CCCXLII]

> Death by drowning or death by asphyxiation, take your pick!

[Piezor]

Know that no matter what you do will make you die, then die!

[Fengar]

>Step on both pads at the same time with one of your arms in the hole above the pads.

[Decoy Elite]

Go to Mars Base.

[Pick Yer Poison]

> Make an opposite sex clone minion. Proceed with sloppy makeouts.

[gloomyMoron]

Right so.. people actually bump'd this.. which... I was not expecting. So I've started working on an update of sorts. I wasn't actually planning for him to die immediately at either location (especially Mars as it was/is gonna be a reference). So I guess a smaller teaser wouldn't hurt? Also I stopped this because my wrist is shot I can't draw for very long without it giving me hell. It's a bit better now for now. So we'll see how that goes.

[Schlega]

> Go to Mars. Be the zombie.

[brainfree]

go to mars disguised as a fat lady.

[Andorxor]

>There is a third option:Jump out of windowtron 2000

[yuumitsu]

throw one of your dead bodies in each transporter, then follow whichever one stained your shirt the least red.

[Fengar]

> Lift up the mars pad and place it on the ocean pad.