>LAWSHARKESTIGATOR: Realize that Guard Captain's words ring true, and that you do not have a battering ram for a face.
>GUARD CAPTAIN: Use own face as battering ram.
You explain that as a LANDSHARK you must legally be at least 50% fish. As anybody familiar with eating knows, fish above land are in their most natural state battered. Your face in particular has also been used as a ram and is 100% fish. Therefore, it must be a battered ram.
You can't quite make the leap from something is battered to something is meant to be used in battering other things though. Battered rams, battering rams... should be close enough.
Your LAWSUIT batters your face, causing your HP to take a hit. On the plus side, your BATTERED FACE is also at least +27 more TENDER and +42 more DELICIOUS.
Guard Captain has better things to do with his face than that. Try again.
That's better. While Guard Captain is confident that he'd be able to knock a door clean off its hinges with a well placed headbutt, he doesn't see the point. As a GUARD, he's able to unlock any door in the FACILITY. Well, at least those with PHYSICAL LOCKS.
For a moment you forgot GUARDS were able to access just about any room in the FACILITY they needed to. That might be useful.
This store seems perfectly ordinary.
Guard Captain remarks how pleasant it is to walk into a store without a fight immediatly breaking out. To you it's not so much a veiled insult as it is a conversational slap in your face. Your now deliciously battered face, but your face none-the-less.
>OH MY GOD THE SHOPKEEPER DOESN'T HAVE ANY ARMS OR LEGS
WHAT KIND OF HORRIFIC CREATURE IS THIS
> GUARD CAPTAIN: Introduce self in a manner most courteous and fitting of a proper gentleman.
> LAWSHARKESTIGATOR: Inquire about the shop's supply of DOUBLEQUINTUPLEDODECAICOSAHEDRONS.
Guard Captain greets the shopkeeper warmly. He explains that he's here on business to escort a KEY INDIVIDUAL through the COMMERCE SECTOR. He asks whether or not the store has any special discounts for GUARDS or CAPTAINS, and more specifically if any of the discounts are on items that can double as HATS. He explains that he is growing tired of his current hat and would greatly appreciate something new to wear on his head.
The shopkeeper stares back at him blankly. Guard Captain takes it as a no.
First, your face is more DELICIOUS, not more DURABLE. Second, you know better at this point than to attempt to beat Guard Captain physically. You're dealing with an individual who parried a LANDSHARK that warped a couple feet above his head. If that didn't work, you doubt any surprise attack would fare any better while he's got his guard up.
Third, you can't physically carry everything in the store. Fourth, all this stuff looks useless. Fifth, what's the shopkeeper looking at?
Sixth, he's looking at you. Seventh... Something about him seems off.
Eighth, OH GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING. NINTH THAT'S NOT HUMAN. TENTH WHY ARE YOU STILL COUNTING.
MAKE IT GO AWAY.
The shopkeeper isn't surprised by your freakout. He asks Guard Captain whether he's finally free from the COMMERCE SECTOR, and if not he asks how much time is left in his sentence.
Wait, this sector is a prison?
> LAWSHARKESTIGATOR: Realize that all of these people are here because of your skills in LAW.
You can't realize something that isn't true! It doesn't make sense for the people you've smacked down with LAW to appear in the FACILITY'S prison. You tend to use LAW for more creative things than PRISON TIME, and it's not like you're an employee of the FACILITY.
You've had enough regrets about reckless use of LAW today. Poor Landchef's lifeless gaze will haunt your dreams.
The revelation that this is a prison brings to mind a more horrifying reality. You deduce that the COMMERCE SECTOR must be some sort of high security prison, a special ring of hell where the inmates are forced to live out the most inhumane punishments. For most, it's owning and operating a small business. For Doorman, it must be being trapped in a small glass cage, put on display and made powerless to watch others walking in and out of doors beyond his control.
You wonder what he could have possibly done to piss off the administration of the FACILITY so damn much.
You tell Guard Captain your theory. You mention that neither of you actually tried checking to see if the RED DOOR was locked to begin with. You bet Doorman was trying to trick the two of you into some convoluted escape plan to break him out of here.
Guard Captain is impressed by your investigative skills, and says that the FACILITY choose wisely when they discreetly hired you. He says he can't believe how foolish he was, and vows to never fall for a paper-thin story from a suspicious individual ever again. He apologizes for his disgraceful display of vigilance, and promises to strike down the next person he sees that tries to pull a fast one on him. Whatever, your disguise and cover story are ironclad.
Your skill in INVESTIGATION is now LEVEL ONE! You've learned YELLOW TAPESTRY!
Somebody on your TEAM calls you before you can celebrate your new useless skill. You thought you told them to never call your RADIO when you're busy, which is always. Always is also how often you question the decision to carry a RADIO with you. Even if they were having an emergency worth calling you over, it's not like you're in the best position to answer at the moment, what with being a shark and standing next to a person trained in murdering anybody that looks like they might be an intruder. You have to find a way to answer without being suspicious.
Guard Captain asks why your stomach is ringing.
>Your religion has specific times when you are supposed to engage in moments of private prayer, and your stomach is ringing as a reminder that one of those times is coming up soon. So you need some privacy for a moment.
> Explain that your stomach is ringing in response to all the terrible racket around here, like that infernal ringing noise.
>Just tell him it's your phone. Christ, you're a LEGAL REPRESENTITIVE, aren't you? Are you not allowed to have a phone in the FACILITY or something?
So we haven't updated in a month and I thought I'd clarify exactly what is going on. Specifically, I haven't seen Dave online at all in the past month, and he hasn't sent me any E-mails. With no idea of where he's off or for how long, I have a few options I can take. Before going down any of them, I think it would be best to get the input of the readers, the people most affected by these choices, what I should do in the meantime. The way I figure, these are my options:
- Continue Breakin but as a solo project. This is tricky since it would probably be very highly text based since I have no legos of my own and lack any competency when it comes to drawing. Any visuals present would most likely be simplified things like UI and map stuff rather than any serious depiction of the characters.
- There are a lot of concepts I have cooked up for Breakin but could still be used in some other adventure. So another option is to put this adventure on hold but starting some sort of spinoff vaguely similar in style to utilize whatever ideas I can (maybe a Breakout? Who knows). This other adventure would probably not have much in the way of visuals at all for reasons discussed above, but since it's technically a new project the shift in style won't be so jarring and the adventure could even be designed around it.
- Finally, put Breakin on hold and just make something totally unrelated instead, whenever the idea strikes.
I'm also open to any other ideas people have for me to do. I know I do want to keep working on some sort of adventure project, because working on this has not only been fun but it forces me to do something creative on a semi-regular schedule.
Usually, I always advice continuing artistic projects when complications to maintaing the quality arise rather than trying to wait them out... However, having visuals at all is a bit of an exception due to how huge a deal it is, especially on these forums, so I'm leaning towards the third option despite the large risk that he'll simply NEVER come online ever and this'll be permanently dead. This sucks.
Maybe it was something you ate.
I don't think that continuing without Dave is a good idea.
It would probably be better to put this on hold and make another adventure, be it related or unrelated.
There's always a chance that he'd come back!
I really enjoy this adventure, and I hope that Dave's okay.
I vote to hold off. I hope he's just on an extended vacation to Venezuela or something.
You inform Guard Captain that there's a bomb in your stomach that was placed in your stomach by some adversary years ago, and you need to reset the timer on it. Guard Captain asks why you haven't just gotten rid of the bomb instead of keeping it with you. You say that you found it came in handy as a contingency plan: if you somehow died during an investigation to a cult assassin, or worse yet went insane from a dark god, you'd have the bomb in your stomach backing you up. Guard Captain asks how a bomb that kills you could ever save you. You say the only way it would go off is if you didn't rest the timer, such as if you were dead or stuck explaining the mechanics of it to somebody who just wouldn't let you get on with your business.
Guard Captain says that sounds reasonable. You tell him he and Shopkeep should get out just in case you fail and explode. Guard Captain asks why they're the ones who need to leave. He points out that one of his many duties is to make sure scumbags like Shopkeep never leave their cell. He tells you to get out instead.
You decide it's best not argue the point.
You use LAW to get yourself into a form better at holding objects to your face.
You answer the RADIO and say you thought you made it clear you were not to be called.
Custodian tells you to shut the hell up. He says that's a stupid policy and you're stupid for suggesting anything other than getting every last penny's worth out of these RADIOS. You ask him if he thinks RADIOS are so important why he isn't using his own RADIO at the moment. He tells you to shut up because he's not done yelling at you.
You ask him where he is anyway. He tells you he, Backpacker, and Chef are currently in the VENTILATRIUM, as scheduled. However, because of a certain asshole goofing off, all the security measures are still fully active and they're in a desperate struggle against hordes of cold, heartless bastards. This certain asshole is you by the way. He just wants to be clear, since he knows that you have trouble understanding people unless they speak slowly and repeat themselves often. On account of you being an asshole. You tell him he has you confused with PLAYER 5, and ask why he isn't giving PLAYER 5 trouble about this.
Custodian says that PLAYER 5 lost his RADIO again and has been impossible to contact. You ask about PLAYER 2. Custodian says why not try calling PLAYER 2 yourself oh wait you're allergic to communication. You remind Custodian that you're allergic to fish, not communication. You add that he can't whine about poor communication skills when he's the one who interrupts people mid-sentence when he interrupts you to not change the subject. You explain that you can't be held responsible for them getting ahead of schedule. He says that they're not ahead at all, they were scheduled to be where they are at this moment always at this moment. You explain that them being on schedule is them being ahead of their normal schedule, and there's no way anybody could expect them to be responsible for once.
Chef turns on his RADIO and joins the conversation. He says you have no room to talk about responsibility, when you're always diverging off of his carefully planned RECIPES. You ask why everybody else gets to improvise but you. Chef explains that when he improvises he doesn't alter the fundamental laws of reality. You're not so much improvising on a few spices as you are cooking an omelette and deciding to make shark-fin soup in zero-G instead. You tell him you're allergic to fish. He says he knows, he's still bitter about you suing him.
You ask how you could possibly be causing as much trouble as Backpacker who doesn't even look at Chef's so-called MASTER RECIPES. Custodian yells that at least Backpacker pulls more than his own weight in a jam, unlike you who vanishes at the first sign of trouble leaving him to clean up your messes. You hear Backpacker in the background ask if they're talking about him. Custodian tells him not to worry about it and focus on destroying everything that isn't dead, on fire, and nailed down. He says okay.
Chef asks you just what the hell you're up to anyway. You say that you were searching for an easier way to traverse the FACILITY than collecting HELMETS for the RED DOORS. You explain that you've managed to infiltrate the FACILITY, to the point that the Guard Captain is convinced you are a specialist hired to sort out some top level conspiracy or something important. Chef asks what your backup plan is when that inevitably fails and you're exposed as a fraud. You say you don't have one, because that's not going to happen.
You hear somebody call out to you. You look up.
Doorman asks if Guard Captain knows about how good you are with LAW, or that you're trying to pull a fast one on him.
Chef asks if you're sure you understand what the definition of "inevitable" is.
Last edited by GhostPikmin; 03-18-2012 at 11:07 AM.
(Links aren't QUITE working for me... in that all I see is the textinstead of the actual image. When I copy-paste to that link, I see the image, but not on the forum. Is bbcode enabled?)Code:[IMG]www.lq-comic.com/breakin/0692.png[/IMG]
> Get out POCKET DICTIONARY. You might need to look up "inevitable" for future reference.