Breakin (Unarmistice)

[JNJ]

This is back, too? Awesome. I figured the return of BES was a good sign.

[Armok]

> The inevitable: happen.

[Draslushee]

> LAWYER: Look up "inevitable" in handy LAW DICTIONARY.

[GhostPikmin]

> Get out POCKET DICTIONARY. You might need to look up "inevitable" for future reference.

Implying you'd ever need a dictionary is insulting. What good is a dictionary when you can change what words mean whenever you feel like it?

Also you're pretty sure Chef used it as an ingredient in some sort of "Alphabet Stew" or something.

> The inevitable: happen.

The inevitable continues to happen.

Doorman tells you that unless you stop messing around with your RADIO and start meeting his demands, he'll spill your secret and you'll be opening your own store here within the hour.



Custodian asks who the hell you're talking to. He says you better not have blown the TEAM's cover so soon. You ask how you could have blown the TEAM's cover when Custodian was the one who was captured ten minutes within getting in the Facility. Before Custodian can answer you also say you thought the three of them were in the middle of some life or death struggle against some security measures. Custodian says that Backpacker has all that under control.



Doorman asks if you're even paying attention. You put the RADIO on hold. It will be easier to handle these things one at a time.

[snuffysam]

> That doorman is a fool.
> Listen to his demands. Let's see how we can twist things around here.

[Draslushee]

> BACKPACKER: Continue having that all under control.

> CUSTODIAN: Shout obscenities into RADIO.

> LAWYER: Explain that you have already met his DEMANDS, as they were former clients.

Alternatively:

> LAWYER: Offer to share delicious INEVITABLE SOUP.

[GhostPikmin]

> BACKPACKER: Continue having that all under control.

You do so.

> That doorman is a fool.
> Listen to his demands. Let's see how we can twist things around here.

Doorman carefully outlines his demands. He says first and foremost, he needs you to break him out of this cell one way or the other. Afterwards, he'll require an escort to lead him to a destination of his choosing. He reserves the right to modify the terms of the agreement at any time.



You let him know that his demands are impossible for you. There's no way you're going through the trouble of escorting him wherever he wants to go. You have an appointment to make in the core of this FACILITY, and you can't afford to get sidetracked by some idiot's errand. Doorman snaps at you for calling him stupid.

You tell him that his talents begin and end at opening doors, and the fact that he finds this simple task so complex that he can devote his life to it shows how limited his mind is. Hell, he's so low on the corporate ladder that he shouldn't even be in the damn building. You also remind him that attempting to blackmail a lawyer is a ridiculous proposition, as any lawyer worth his salt (such as yourself) can undo him with a single argument.

Doorman asks why you're having so much trouble with the RED DOOR system if you're so smart. Additionally, if you're such a genius, why are you so intent on pissing off the one person here who's specialty is getting anywhere he wants in the entire building? He shouldn't be blackmailing you, you should be begging him for help. After all, you both seem to be headed to the same place: the core of the FACILITY.



Doorman says you've got to have a dozen different ways to break him out of his cage at this point. Whatever method you choose, just be sure to stand about five feet in front of it. He stresses this point, that it's absolutely critical for you to stand at that location. He says just to trust him.

[Dalmationer]

it's a trap!
>make sure to stand five feet in front of the door to ensure you avoid the trap.

[snuffysam]

Hm... break him out of his cell...
> Use your power of LAW to cause all his DNA to burst out of his CELLS, killing him.
> Smash the window using the power of LAW. It's against the rules to break that window, right? Well, rules are meant to be BROKEN. By extension, so is the window.

[Draslushee]

> LAWYER: Ignore current plight and help that giant stone man that's tripping into that pool of water.

[eerr]

Dinosaur feet could be about a half-yard.

Stand five dinosaur feet away, instead.

*should you actually choose to do such a thing.


I would much rather argue that the fountain is a man, as it has the head of a man, the body of a man, and even pants.

[GhostPikmin]

> LAWYER: Ignore current plight and help that giant stone man that's tripping into that pool of water.

There's nothing there.



You could have sworn there was a statue in that fountain.

[Solaris]

HE MIGHT BE BEHIND YOU!!!

[GhostPikmin]

HE MIGHT BE BEHIND YOU!!!

That's just the hat store you came from.



There's nothing unusual here.

[Solaris]

Do me a favor and spin around in a circle with your arms out.
Please?

[GhostPikmin]

Do me a favor and spin around in a circle with your arms out.
Please?

For reasons that aren't entirely clear to you, you spin with your arms out. You wonder why Doorman's been so quiet suddenly.





Oh. That's why.

What the hell is the Statue doing in there? And where did Doorman go? Does this mean the deal is off?

[snuffysam]

>Don't turn your back.
>Don't look away.
>And don't.
>BLINK.

[Reecer6]

>BLINK.

2nd, and I'm sure the Doctor would agree.
(Or maybe the DOCTOR! If the DOCTOR is on your side)

[ManualSearch]

Lawyer: Use a STATUTE to stop the STATUE in his place. (Perhaps one that mandates statues not being able to move for fear of fines?)

[Draslushee]

> LAWYER: Stand atop STATUE PEDESTAL to get a better view.

> LAWYER: Continue to forget to dismiss the case against the LANDSHARK from Panel 572.

[ManualSearch]

Backpacker: By the way, after all that CONTROL you have exerted, how much WEIGHT does your BACKPACK have?

[snuffysam]

2nd, and I'm sure the Doctor would agree.
(Or maybe the DOCTOR! If the DOCTOR is on your side)

> LAWYER: Call the DOCTOR.
> DOCTOR: Be like The Doctor, not a doctor. Know what I'm saying?

[reverentInfiltrator]

>Be the Doctor.
>Wear a bow tie.

[GhostPikmin]

Backpacker: By the way, after all that CONTROL you have exerted, how much WEIGHT does your BACKPACK have?

You attempt to pull up your UI, but it's so heavy from your extended WEIGHT meter that you can no longer lift it to the screen.

> LAWYER: Call the DOCTOR.

No.

Your policy of "no RADIO calls when busy" extends both ways. You don't want anybody wasting your time, and you certainly don't want to waste any of your time yapping to somebody else on your RADIO. The thought that you could ever need to call for help is laughable. You can't remember whose idea it was for everybody to carry a RADIO, but you didn't approve of it.

Lawyer: Use a STATUTE to stop the STATUE in his place. (Perhaps one that mandates statues not being able to move for fear of fines?)

You cast a new LAWSUIT on the STATUE. You specify that as a statue is by definition inanimate, Statue should not be able to move from its current location.

It resolves successfully.

That was boring.

LAWYER: Continue to forget to dismiss the case against the LANDSHARK from Panel 572.

You continue to do so.

Hypothetically though, if you were to remember that case, you would probably take a bigger concern in your remaining EVIDENCE. More specifically, you have yet to drop any cases and the ones you're taking are piling up. You would see that if you don't jettison something soon, you could end up in deadlock, or worse, just dropping everything at once. You would immediately lay out exactly how things are being allocated and efficiently determine what can be cut without undermining your current situation.

All hypothetically, of course.

Now, where were you heading again?

[Dalmationer]

How do you actually get new evidence? By creating logical paths for the way things are instead of how you want them to be? Wait I worded that horribly poorly, never mind.