[TEXT] Can't stop the rock

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

You are on a hill, about 15 miles outside of a small town that is your home. Between you and the town is a long stretch of wilderness, a housing district or two, and some roads. It's all more or less downhill, although it's a pretty gradual slope.

You just accidentally started a very large boulder rolling down the hill towards your town. You don't know any way to stop it; it seems to be breaking through trees and such without deviating. Fortunately, you can easily outrun it, and you have a bicycle. You guess it might take an hour or two to get to the town, maybe half an hour to hit the first houses.

What do you do?

[Toasted]

DANCE

[Drakenforge]

Shrug and decide to move to another town. Plan ahead to loot the wreckage.

[Toasted]

BREAKDANCE PARTY

[AvzinElkein]

Sidestep it; it probably can't change direction.

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

DANCE
BREAKDANCE PARTY

You take a few minutes to dance around, whooping and making a fuss. It's actually kind of fun to be in this sort of high-pressure situation.

The rock knocks down another tree. It makes a lot of noise, and a bunch of woodland animals flee the destruction. You aren't sure why they didn't do that earlier. They must be the stupid ones.

Sidestep it; it probably can't change direction.

You're actually behind it at the moment. It's less than 20 feet away, although it's slowly opening the distance.

Shrug and decide to move to another town. Plan ahead to loot the wreckage.

Crap! You left your stereo at home! And your music and several other things. You may have also left the oven on, and you aren't wearing clean underwear. You should have planned ahead if you were planning on fleeing the scene after accidentally causing a disaster.

You do, however, have your emergency DO STUFF IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY CAUSE A DISASTER pouch attached to your bike.

[Toasted]

EXAMINE CONTENTS OF EMERGENCY BAG

Sit and watch destruction. Eat pretend popcorn.

Dance some more.

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

EXAMINE CONTENTS OF EMERGENCY BAG

When you open the DO STUFF IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY CAUSE A DISASTER bag, you are teleported back in time to when you were packing said bag, at which point in time you can have put something in the bag previously so that you can now have it on you.

However, anything you do in this time cannot significantly alter anything that's already happened. For instance, if you pack a lantern now, but later unpack the lantern and replace it with a flashlight, you can do so as long as the flashlight would always have worked in place of the lantern. You can only add or change one thing each time you open the bag.

You are now standing in your house, with your DO STUFF IN CASE YOU CAUSE A DISASTER bag open on the table.

Sit and watch destruction. Eat pretend popcorn.

Dance some more.

You eschew the bag, make some popcorn, and watch about five minutes of Worlds wildest police videos before it hits a commercial break.

You feel like you're forgetting something. You notice that you're dancing around a little, and decide you should probably use the bathroom while you're here.

[Toasted]

Put popcorn in bag so you can enjoy the disaster to the fullest.

If you can put more maybe put some money or something.

[KawaiiMelon]

Stop the rock

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

Stop the rock

What rock? You're still packing your DO STUFF IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY CAUSE A DISASTER bag.

You're suddenly struck, however, by the idea to go visit that huge boulder outside of town. It's truly a daunting hunk of stone. Fortunately, you are assured, it cannot possibly be moved from its place, which is especially fortunate considering it's just uphill from you. You make a mental note to visit when you get the time, although it might be several months from now.

Put popcorn in bag so you can enjoy the disaster to the fullest.

If you can put more maybe put some money or something.

You an extra $20 in the bag of popcorn, then place it in your bag.

You are now standing by your bicycle, holding a bag of stale popcorn. It seems you packed it a while ago, and it has gone bad. Inside, you also find one $20 bill soaked in old, greasy, stale butter-like sauce. You hate your past self for having done such a stupid thing, but since it was a while ago, you're certain that whatever stupidness came over you, there's nothing you can do about it now. You can only hope that you will not have made such stupid decisions about the other objects that are clearly already inside the bag, since there's no way to change them now that they're already there.

Unrelatedly, you now notice you have to go to the bathroom, which is odd, since you are certain you didn't feel the need a few moments ago.

Also, the boulder seems to have moved substantially further than you expected, as though several extra minutes had passed.

[Earth]

>Start eating stale popcorn to regain strength. Then run backwards towards the boulder while using the air as your bathroom. Forget this if you need to do a number 2.

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

>Start eating stale popcorn to regain strength.

It turns out that not only is the popcorn definitely stale, but something nasty has started growing on it. It's also grown on the $20 bill; it's possible that that's where it came from. The mere thought of putting it in your mouth sickens you.

The thought of trying to do any of the other things causes fearful memories of your mother's wrath to surface, and you quickly sublimate them all.

Relatedly, your underwear might be slightly more soiled now.

[buggy715]

>Try to run at the speed of sound (and probably exhaust yourself in the process).

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

>Try to run at the speed of sound (and probably exhaust yourself in the process).

You set yourself the goal of getting to over 1,100 feet/second in the fifty feet or so that there are between you and the boulder. Offhand, had you accomplished this, you would be subject to at least 35 Gs of force just from how quickly you would have had to accelerate.

Instead, you smash your face against the rock and fall over. It probably didn't even get to 5 Gs, but it hurt.

You go back to get your bicycle and walk it lamely back towards the boulder while nursing your new headache. You also notice your shorts are now wet, and you don't have to pee anymore. Also, your nose is bleeding, and maybe a little in the forehead. Fuck.

And oh look, there's your bicycle helmet, right there on the handlebars. You feel like a fucking idiot. Why don't you ever think of these things in advance?

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

You bump the rock. It seems to keep going at the same, slow pace.

[omegawill]

Throw the bike helmet at the rock.

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

Throw the bike helmet at the rock.

You take your bike helmet, and with the loudest obscenity you've spat in quite a while, hurl it at the rock. It bounces off with a tck... but then, the strap catches a sharp crevasse in the rock. You watch your helmet rise further into the air, then disappear out of sight on the other side of the boulder.

You wonder for a moment whether you'll hear it break as the boulder rolls over it, but an inconveniently-placed tree gets knocked aside. It was barely nicked by the boulder, but it shoots sideways--mostly. The crown drops over the boulder and covers up the area where you helmet probably is, unless it fell to one side. You can't see it from here, at least.

You suddenly realize that if you have to do any off-road biking, you're in danger of splitting your head open on a rock. Which is funny, since you had to off-road to get here, and you'll have to do more to get back.

You're beginning to suspect fate has it out for you. Also, your tendency to not think things through hasn't been helping.

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

You bump the rock. It seems to keep going at the same, slow pace.

---

I'm willing to take suggestions for this adventure again now that I'm back, should anyone be interested in it.

It will remain a TEXTVENTURE.