Although sadly April 13th, 2009 was a Monday, not a Thursday.
e: something very silly and hastily edited together:
"But Mr Egbert, the server disk has been available in the local Breeze sorting office for the last nine hours."
"Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see it, fifteen minutes ago. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to it had you? I mean like actually telling anybody or anything."
"But the disk was on display ..."
"On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find it."
"That's the display department."
"With a torch."
"Ah, well the phosphorluminescent mushrooms had probably gone."
"So had the stairs."
"But look, you found the disk didn't you?"
"Yes," said John, "yes I did. It was on display at the bottom of a locked parcel pyxis stuck in a disused load gaper cubicle with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Giclops."
I have three sections this time, 3 natural break. Intermission or commercial breaks, if you will. Story in each one.
I woke up with a headache like a three day bender. In front of me was just globs and burs of color. I tried to reach up but I couldn’t move my arms. I tried to stand up but I couldn’t move my legs. The only thing I could move was my head, which to shook a few times, trying to clear away the haze. Either I was poisoned or I was tied down. There we go, my vision came back and I looked at my arms. Yeap, tied down with zip-ties. The expensive, high-quality ones too. Great.
I strained against them but didn’t make any headway. I could tell that I had them on my wrists, elbows, upper arms, ankles, knees, and thighs. Guess someone learned their lesson. Easy enough to get out of, though. I pushed a button on my palm, ejecting the hidden blade in my cuff, allowing me to cut the ties and get out. At least, I would have if whoever knocked me out hadn’t taken my knife.
Still, no worries. If the chair was wood, I could break it against the wall. It would hurt like hell, but I’d be free. Well, that’s what I would have done if the chair wasn’t metal. And bolted to the floor. Some really did learn their lesson.
Well crap.
At least they left my clothes this time.Only thing to do now was wait to be rescued or for Slick to reveal his plans in a overly grandiose way.
“You know, I should have expected something like this. It’s all really freakin’ obvious now. Every damn spy movie has a casino something and every time the spy gets captured. But those guys in the movies have stupid arch-villains that don’t take all the damn gadgets! Come on, who does that?!”
A TV flickered on in front of me and Slick’s stupid mask filled the screen. “Enjoying yourself, Scratch? I hope so, because this building is set to explode.”
“Have I ever told you you have a face for radio and a voice for a sinus commercial?”
“Yeah? Well you have a mother for a- wait, face like a combat boot? Stop laughing!”
I couldn’t help it. “You’re a clown, Slick! Can’t even face me in person? Probably got Droog to do the dirty work.”
“Shut up! You and Vegas will be little tiny pieces soon!”
“A bold move for you. Sure you don’t want to start small, like a town in Ohio?”
Spades Slick was near unintelligible with anger. I’m not sure what he was trying to say because at that moment someone broke through the wall Kool-Aid man style. Cans looked through the wreckage, holding a sledgehammer like it was a toy.
“Scratch? Oh yeah! I thought I heard you yelling.”
“Umm... All part of the plan? I figured you would um, hear me from wherever you happened to be. What happened with the op?”
“I think we were set up,” he explained and he cut the zip ties. “I was ready to start my part when I got a bad feeling in my gut.”
“Good instincts?”
“No, bad oysters. When I got back out I noticed that there were way more guards then there should have been. They all looked nervous-like. I asked myself, what would Doc Scratch do? So I took out one of the them all quiet-like and got the radio-”
“Can it, Cans. Where are we?”
“23rd floor, almost at the top.”
“Resources?”
“Nothing expect this hammer. See, I-”
I waved him silent. “I know Slick. He already knows I escaped and is planning one of his own. The whole building is wired to explode and we have to get the detonator.” I gave Cans a piercing look. “Are you up for this?”
He hefted the hammer over his shoulder. “You betcha!”
Before I could go any further the other wall burst open and from the debris stepped the biggest man I had ever seen.
Hearts Boxcars.
With more speed I would have given credit to for a man his size, Cans barrelled Boxcars through the hole, both men scrapping across the floor. I run in to help but was socked in the stomach by someone I didn’t see.
“You have more pressing matters, agent,” said Diamonds Droog, holding a detonator switch. “Come and get me.” And with that, he was up the stairs.
Cans got Boxcars in the gut. “Doc! I got this bozo, you get the detonator!”
No argument from me. I ran after Droog.
~
Upstairs was dark and wide, no walls expect windows. Droog stood in the middle, calm and poised.
“Where is the device?” I demanded. He just stood there, expressionless due to the mask.
“A little hasty, aren't we agent? Not worried about traps or tripmines or poison gas?”
I laughed. “This late in the game? I figured you better than that.”
He sighed and placed the detonator on a table behind him. “I suppose you are right. Catch!” He threw something metal at me and I caught it out of the air.
A katana? “What are you trying to pull? I can’t use this thing!”
Droog drew one of his own. “I’ve been waiting years for this, agent. Ever since I found out you trained under my master’s rival.”
I was taken aback. “You’re a student of the Dragon?”
He laughed and ripped off his shirt, showing an intricate tattoo on his arms and chest, barely concealed by a padded vest. “You fool! I am the Dragon!”
He rushed toward me with blinding speed, slashing left and right. I barely blocked the barrage of blows, not able to break the attack. They were fast blow, but they were light. I pushed forward and allowed a cut on the arm and used that moment to punch his chest. Droog went flying but recovered quickly. Now it was my turn.
I pressed the attack, hard deliberate blows, testing his defense. Droog parried each one, but I could tell he favored the right. My style had a hidden technique and I switched my grip mid swing, taking him by surprise from the left. A hard strike made him falter and I was able to cut a line across his chest.
Droog jumped back, making distance between us. “So, that's why its called the Two Fist Style. You can turn the tables at any moment. But here is why I am the Dragon!” He threw down some smoke bombs, filling the air with a black mess. I closed my eyes and stood on guard, listening. Wait, there was a click and a snap-
I duck and rolled from under a stream of fire just in time. Droog emerged from the smoke, sword high above his head. Everything seemed to slow down and I brought up my own to deflect the blow. It didn’t work. Droog cut through my blade and I barely angled out of the way, my shoulder sliced across the side. But the power to cut through the sword was too much. Droog’s blade bit into the floor and I stomped it, the shock making him drop it. With one fluid movement I punched him in the face and stabbed him in the chest. Droog flew into the shadows, a trail of blood marking his path, halfblade still stuck in, mask in pieces.
I moved quick and tore out the wires in the detonator.
“That won’t work,” said Droog.
“What do you mean?!”
He walked into the light, broken mask still covering most of his face. “This is a suicide bomber vest, agent. I was to beat you or take you down with me. The only thing set to explode is... us.”
I started to him but he held out his hand. “Please. I would never stoop so low. Spades Slick is the puppet master here. Farewell, DS!” Before I could move Diamonds Droog jumped out a window, and the blast shattered the rest.
“Farewell, Dragon,” I said to the winds.
Only thing left was Spades Slick. I ran to the top of the next stairs, opened the door and
*Bang!*
I took one in the gut and fell to the floor. Someone walked over and kicked me hard.
“What up, doc?” Slick started laughing.
~
“I can’t believe that after all these years I thought you had a magic bullet or a secret reload.” He held out my revolver, delight in his voice. “But really, all it was was a pistol made to look like a six shooter.” He laughed again, a high pitched nasally sound.
I rolled onto my back. “Actually,” I said softly. Slick leaned in close. “Its a clip fed six shooter.” I spun, sweeping his legs out from under him. The gun went flying. I made a grab for it but it skated out of reach.
Slick was up in a flash but I grabbed his shin, bringing him back down to my level. He kicked wildly and connected with my face. I was dizzy, but I held on. Slick growled and took out a knife and stabbed me in the hand. He crawled fro the gun and I got into a crouch, throwing the knife back to its owner. The blade stuck into Slick’s shoulder but he didn’t slow down.
I stood up but was wobbly, losing too much blood. I leaped but fell short, and Slick had the gun again. He shot out a window and threw the gun after the falling shards. With his good hand he picked me up and dragged me to the new exit.
“Well, isn’t this familiar? One in power, one in mercy, top of a tall building. But last time, our roles were reversed. Weren't they, Dave Strider?!”
My remaining blood went cold. “There are only two people who know that name, and both of them are dead.”
Spades Slick took off his mask. “Really? I don’t feel dead.”
This-this was impossible! But, those roesy cheeks- full lips- gold tooth- and eyes, blue eyes, piercing eyes-
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's just.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
So I have a concept now. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I'll figure it out when I get there.
It's one late night, when you and Dave are out killing Underlings and shooting the breeze, that he makes an offhand comment about having time in his head. Neither of you are entirely sure what this means - other than the obvious, the fact that the game changes you.
It's when he tells you that it doesn't matter, that he's fine, that you get a flash of his thoughts - that he's lying, that he doesn't want you to worry about him. You ignore it, but when it comes time for you to bid goodnight to him and take first watch as he sleeps, you call him the Knight of Time, and he calls you the Seer of Light. You don't really know why.
A few months later, and Jade's trying to tell you that the fact that one corner of the tent is an inch higher than the other three and it's bothering her, and Dave's in the corner again trying to play his music to drown out the beat of time in his ears, and John's building a campfire with the help of the Breeze, and you're sitting there wondering if anyone else ever experienced the concept of a hive mind more completely than you are right at the moment. Probably not, you muse, and sigh as Jade comes over and, with her usual good grace, asks you to help her with the rope that's holding up the tent.
The idea is that if Dave gets the time in his head, why not the other three? Also, using a universe that isn't quite HS's own, insofar as they've been in the Medium for months now and there's no Reckoning.
Last edited by orngjce223; 08-25-2010 at 05:28 PM.
So I have a concept now. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I'll figure it out when I get there.
The idea is that if Dave gets the time in his head, why not the other three? Also, using a universe that isn't quite HS's own, insofar as they've been in the Medium for months now and there's no Reckoning.
Ooh, good concept. One suggestion I have there is that you probably need something to make John neurotic as well. Seems a bit odd for him to be going "welp, building a campfire" while everyone else is slowly being driven mad by their powers. Perhaps he always hears whispers on the wind or something, ghosts of messages sent on the Breeze.
Ooh, good concept. One suggestion I have there is that you probably need something to make John neurotic as well. Seems a bit odd for him to be going "welp, building a campfire" while everyone else is slowly being driven mad by their powers. Perhaps he always hears whispers on the wind or something, ghosts of messages sent on the Breeze.
Could also be that it makes him antsy, like he always has to be rushing around and doing things so that he can feel the wind, and he can't stand waiting of having nothing to do. (Might also vaguely sort of be supported by the comic, if you kind of turn your head and squint.)
SO hey I decided to continue the thing I made earlier. I've been thinking about it and I'm gonna make this chapter longer than what I usually write JUST so I can get to one scene. You'll know what this scene is when I get to it.
Just a Fan pt.2
After a somewhat lengthy tour of the area, Kanaya led Rose to a small coffee shop in town called Captor's. The first thing the actress noticed was the lack of any customers, and only one employee behind the counter. He was a Troll, probably around the same age as Kanaya. He was wearing what seemed like 3-D sunglasses, which really stood out in the cafe's color scheme of yellow.
The boy looked up as the bell above the front door jingled. "Hey Kan. Who'th your friend?" He asked with a lisp.
Kanaya paniked slightly, unsure weather to tell her friend that Rose was a famous actress, or something else that she couldn't think of while in said panic.
Thankfully, Rose knew exactly what to say. "I'm Tessa Trabist. A pleasure to make your aquaintence."
The boy raised an eyebrow at the language, but nonetheless introduced himself in turn, "Tholluckth Capthor."
"...Tholluckth?"
"Fuckin' lithp." He mumbled. "Athk Kan, I can't thay my own name right."
Rose turned to her new friend with an inquiring look. Kanaya responded, "Sollux Captor. His family owns this place, if you couldn't tell."
"Thpeaking of witch," Sollux spoke up, "are you two gonna order thomethin' or not?"
Although she didn't like his tone, Rose complied with the boy's wishes. "I'll just have an iced tea, please."
"I'll have the usual." Kanaya ordered.
Sollux nodded, but said under his breath, "You don't come to a coffee shop to order ithed tea."
In a few moments, the two girls had gotten their drinks and sat down at a table in the back of the shop, while Sollux went somewhere to take care of business. "So," Rose started, "I assume you know all about me, so I'd like to know about you, if you don't mind me asking."
Kanaya blushed and stared down into her cup of decaf. "I-I'm nothing special, really. Just graduated high school, and all that."
"Come on," Rose said, "there's got to be more than that to you. What do you like, what's a hobby of your's...stuff like that. I promise I won't judge."
"Well...I do like do draw." The Troll seemed to muse over something before reaching into her purse and pulling out a small sketchbook and pencil. "In fact, I love drawing clothing and costumes. Sometime in the near future, I hope to be a fasion designer." She handed the book to Rose, who started flipping through it. Kanaya become increasingly nervous as the minutes passed and Rose continued to flip through the sketchbook. "I-I'm not really that good yet, but-"
"What are you talking about?" Her idol asked with disbelief as she handed the book back to its owner. "These are some of the most amazing and detailed designs I've seen, rivalling my own costume designer! In fact..." She glanced at the watch on her wrist and then looked back to to her new friend with a smile. "I must apologise, but I have to be leaving now. But," she said before Kanaya's face could even show a hint of sadness, "can you meet me in front of this shop tomorrow morning at, say, nine AM? I want to show you something."
Kanaya was confused, but excited all the same. "Sure thing!"
As they stood up and walked out of the shop, Rose said, "Oh, also make sure to bring your sketchbook. There's someone I want you to meet.
---
The next day, Rose had picked up Kanaya in her (very nice) car, and drove off. Whenever the Troll asked where they were going, Rose just answered criptically with a small grin. Pretty soon, they parked nearby a few other cars, which were near a ton of filming equipment and trailers.
Rose said, to an awestruck Kanaya, "Welcome to the set of my next movie."
The actress pulled her friend through the mass of people and equipment to a slim man with a pale complexion and was wearing a very nice hat. He turned away from whatever he was doing when he heard the two girls approach him. "Well well," he said with a strange accent, "what're you doin' back here, toots? You aren't in any of this week's scenes, so ya got it off."
Rose just smiled and said, "I just wanted to introduce you to someone."
The man seemed to finally notice Kanaya. "Oh. Who's this dame?"
"She's a friend I just met in town. I decided to show her a bit of my life today." She turned to a confused Kanaya. "Kanaya, this is the director of this movie, Peter Sleuth: The director of the best noir-age movies this day and age."
YES, I WROTE THIS WHOLE CHAPTER JUST TO INTRODUCE ONE CHARACTER. AREN'T I SWELL.
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's just.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
Man, I need to praise dump more. Ok, who has posted since I last posted?
orngjce223 : Sounding good so far. Now drop them in Manhattan and laugh! Lauuuuugggggghhhhh!
Metaflare : What is this I see? Problem Sleuth in a predominately HS thread? I like the characterization you've put to Kanaya. This is a whirlwind of a ride and she is barely staying in the seat. Rose as a confident successful actress works very well as well. You know what I'd like to see? Sillyness.
Metaflare : What is this I see? Problem Sleuth in a predominately HS thread? I like the characterization you've put to Kanaya. This is a whirlwind of a ride and she is barely staying in the seat. Rose as a confident successful actress works very well as well. You know what I'd like to see? Sillyness.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE. That will indeed happen with the next chapter.
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's just.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
“Stop calling me that! I hated that name! I hated being called ‘Lil’ and you knew it!”
I swallowed hard. Had to do this right. “Slick-Cal, what did- How did you even-”
Cal threw me back into the room. “Why didn’t I die after you threw me off the building? Why was I still alive when you were doing that stupid spy shit?”
“I didn’t-”
“Shut up! You are not allowed to talk!” He pulled out another knife and held it to my throat. “You do not get to lie again! You just listen! You threw me out of the window and I fell! Fell for so long...” Cal pulled off a glove, showing a metallic hand. “I lost my arm trying to grab something, something to slow me down! And I landed. And I broke. Every. Bone. In. My. Body!” He punched me again. “Every bone! Did you even think to look for me? No! You starting playing spy~!”
I coughed up some blood. “They s-said you w-were-”
“You said it was a simple heist. A grab and go! Get the jewels, get out, and grab a drink! But no, baby got scared and threw me out a window. A window! Diamonds Droog, he saved me, made me good again, fixed my arm. Hehehe... Fucker thought he was in control. I showed him who was boss.” He laughed again, looking wildly from side to side. Then he stopped, eyes narrowing. “Get up.”
I struggled and haltered.
“Get up!” Cal picked me up and slammed me against the wall.”
“Cal... It didn’t...”
“Wanna talk now? Beg!”
“Ex-explosion...”
“No! Wrong! Damnit, this is all wrong! I wanted to fight Dave Strider, not this little pissant!”
“Cal...” My hand shot out, thumb screwing into Cal’s right eye. “I am a Strider!” My ruse worked. In a quick move I reached around and pulled the knife from his shoulder and stabbed it into his chest.
“Now you listen to me,” I said and he fell. “My friend died that day! You want to know what happened? Well so do I! Something went off and you hit your head really damn hard! Alarms where going off, shit was blaring and you were out waving your hands around and boom! Bombs went off and I was shot into the next building by the blast! I spent the next year in traction! They told me you were dead!”
“Doc Scratch was you! You you you! Only you used that name!”
“I didn’t join till two years after you lil brain!”
“No!” Cal leaped up, caught me by surprise. “No no no! It was Strider!” He hit me over and over again, clawing at my wounds. “D. Strider! D. Strider!”
“Yes... D.S. Doc Scratch,” said a voice from the shadows. “Or.... Derek Strider. At your service.”
“B-bro?”
“Droog?!”
~
“Why aren’t you dead, Droog?!”
Diamonds Droog stepped into the light, no longer wearing his mask. I saw them. Green eyes. Red hair. Shades.
“Bro...? Whasit-”
“You have lost a lot of blood, Dave.” He took out a syringe and stuck it into my chest. I jumped up with a start, energy in my veins. “Isn’t adrenaline nice? Special cocktail there, hope you enjoy it.”
“What are you doing Droog?! Kill him and get my gauze for my eye!” Cal was near spitting with anger.
“Shut up, Slick. Seriously, ‘I showed him who was boss’? You’re a cartoon character. Dave, its clear I’m the real power here, right? Also, I set up that botched heist.”
“What?!” Cal and I screamed in unison.
“Well you needed the kick in the pants. Running jewels? Hanging out with this piece of trash? I raised you better than that. But you still refused to join the Agency. What the hell man, we could have been the best team. The Agency really wanted another Strider, and I wanted to train you. So I found this thing and made the Midnight Crew.”
I was speechless. Bro-Droog- whoever it was continued.
“Doc Scratch was me back in the day. See-”
Cal shouted and ran at Bro, another knife in this hand. With blinding speed Cal was knocked down. “Sorry about that. Now, where were-”
Bro stopped. He looked at me, and looked at the knife I put in his collarbone. And then he fell.
“Raised me? You were gone for 20 years! 20! Damn! Years! And now you show up?! And tell me you almost killed me? And my best friend? To join some damn spy organization? Fuck you!”
Bro nearly grinned. “M-maybe not so young anymore.” He stood up and grabbed Cal, not showing any pain. “Farewell, Agent.” He moved to the broken window.
“Bro, no!” But I was too late. He and Cal were gone.
~
I sat on the roof, lamenting the loss of my suit. But, my wounds were patched up, so it went to a good cause. I barely glanced when someone sat down next to me.
“Hey, Scratch.”
“Cans.”
We sat a moment longer in silence.
“What’d you wanna do now? Wait for a ride?”
“I guess. Hey Cans, you know how Doc Scratch is a super agent? Best of the best? Faceless? Do any role?”
“Yeah. That’s you, buddy.”
We sat again, staring at the city. I came to a decision. “You know, I don’t think we’ve been introduced. My name is Dave.”
Cans looked shocked, but then smiled. “John. I’d shake your hand but I remember I broke it last time. Long day, Dave?”
“A little. Found out my brother tired to kill me. I stabbed him. He jumped out a window.”
“Damn. I had to break my dad’s back. He was Hearts.”
“Damn. My best friend was Slick, and my brother was Diamonds. Family business, amirite?”
John leaned back and looked at the stars. They sure were bright. “Snowman say when our ride was getting here?”
“Soon, I hope. Bleeding a little. I’ll check.” I switched on the com. “Snowman, what’s the ETA?”
“Three minutes, Agent.”
Agent. The Agency. The Striders. “And Rose? We need to talk.”
I suddenly have the desire to laugh evilly. Unrelated, I'm sure.
Nope, I was played like a fiddle with this.
Please, begin your evil laugh.
Very nice twist at the end.
One day I will not read your stories and be surprised at the events that occur.
At that point, nothing may surprise me.
Holy hell. WHADDA TWIST! Oh my god. kmsumrall, I always knew you were an awesome writer, but this...this is just beautiful. Just glorious. Now I have to go back and re-read all the other Secret Agent parts because this...oh my god. Spectacular. Just spectacular.
What's that? I promised this update for yesterday morning? Well... um... SHUT UP.
Seventeen minutes and forty-seven seconds later, you're a new man. Well, not really, but at least you're clean and in fresh clothes and you spent four minutes and twelve seconds making sure your hair has exactly the right "I-don't-really-care-I'm-just-naturally-this-good" tousle, and that's close enough to being a new man. You're still hung over and completely baffled by the fact that you won't be spending this anniversary alone with a bottle, but there's no helping that.
Jade's cleaning up from breakfast, and you feel the slightest pang of guilt. "Here, let me help." And as she hands you a dishtowel with a smile and thanks, you're struck by the most bizarre feeling - normalcy. This is what normal life is like, when normal people help their normal friends put their normal dishes and silverware away, and then go to spend time with their other normal engaged friends, because what's more normal than being in love and getting married?
You haven't been normal in years. You're not sure if you remember how.
You push that thought away as Jade shuts the drawer. "Alright, let's go," she says. "I called Rose - we're gonna meet at her place. You're driving."
"And why is that? I don't even know where her place is, remember?"
"Because I don't have a car and don't you dare try to deny the fact that you're dying to show off the Ferrari I saw parked out back."
You grin, part sheepish and part smartass. "Yeah, she is beautiful, isn't she? And what do you mean you don't have a car? How did you get here?"
"Public transportation. Some of us care about the rapidly deteriorating environment." Jade grabs her bag - you didn't even notice it last night, you were so mentally and emotionally out of it - and slings it over one shoulder. "Your car is a 'she'? What's 'her' name, if you don't mind me asking?"
You feel your cheeks start to get red. Damn, why did you have to say "she"? Why couldn't you say "it" like a normal person? "None of your business, filthy hippie." She pouts, and you tilt your shades down and grin to let her know you're kidding. "Ready to go?"
"Dave, I've been ready for hours. It's your lazy ass that wouldn't get out of bed." You blink - you'd forgotten that Jade can give as good as she gets sometimes.
You grab your car keys from the shelf by the door. "Well then, let's go already."
~~~~~
And that's how you find yourself, just slightly hungover, driving to Rose's with a human GPS in your passenger seat, giving directions. "Take a left in seventy-two feet, and follow that road for exactly one and a half miles until you get to a three-way intersection, where you'll go right."
You glance over and, yep, her eyes aren't even open. She'd fiddled with the radio as soon as you started the car, and found some classical station. She's smiling as she listens, her hand making little conducting motions in the air.
You smirk and turn your eyes back to the road, making the left. "I'm guessing this is some sort of 'Witch of Space' thing?"
Her eyes open, and she grins back. "Uh-huh. I literally can't get lost, even if I try. You could drop me blindfolded in the middle of the Sahara and I'd be home in three days."
"Sounds useful. More useful than what I've got, at any rate." As soon as the words are out of your mouth, you regret them. You were hoping to avoid this subject of conversation.
The awkward pause lasts for one minute and four seconds when she asks, "Dave, how long have you been drinking?"
Twenty seconds later, you pull over and shut off the car. "Now? You really want to do this now?"
"It's either with me now or with Rose in twenty minutes, and do you really want to be psychoanalyzed to within an inch of your life?" Her words are light, but something in her tone of voice means business. "Answer the question, Dave. How long?"
You rest your arms on the wheel and lay your head on your arms. "Off and on since I was seventeen. I had a beer at some party, I don't even remember who was there or what it was for, just that the more I drank the less I could hear the ticking in my head." You replay that last sentence in your head, and laugh harshly. "God, I sound like a lunatic."
Her hand is at the middle of your back, rubbing in small circles, and it's soothing enough to get you to continue. "After that, I started sneaking my bro's. If he noticed, he didn't care enough to say anything. It was just a drink or two, once in a while, when things were really bad. But then things started getting really bad all the time, and so it was a few more drinks. And a few more." You turn your head towards her. "Pretty soon the only time I was sober was when I made music. I know it's not okay, but it's the only thing that helps."
You lean back against the seat, and Jade removes her hand. "I don't know how to deal with this any other way."
She laces her fingers through yours. "Who said you have to do it alone?"
STUPIDLY SHORT, I KNOW. I'm so sorry. Writing more right now, I just felt bad for not updating sooner. (In my defense, Scott Pilgrim is AWESOME and my boyfriend says hi. So there were good reasons for lateness.)
Tangle : Part 2 (Karkat/Sollux)
aka "Incessant Dialogue."
For some reason that was currently escaping him, Sollux was tiptoeing through the hallways. His bare feet stepped delicately over the cold, metallic floor of the lab as though at any moment it may creak and send a wave of his friends crashing down upon him in immediate response. He could almost imagine them building strength out in the ocean of their collective antagonism, waiting to form up into a giant crest to come barreling down upon him, washing him up upon some sort of shore of embarrassment.
Sollux was not very good with metaphors.
He crept around the last corner he had to travel past, eyeing every shadowed corner, imagining in one of the less-rational portions of his brain that one of his friends could be lying in wait in even the tiniest sliver of darkness. Terezi might be flattened up against a wall, her blind superpowers waiting for a waft of his anxiety to hit her nose before she re-inflated to a proper size and attacked. This was something that obviously could happen.
He had already come up with nearly two dozen excuses for why he was creeping along the hallways at night, long after everyone had retired to their makeshift respiteblocks. He had over-thought it so much that he worried he would end up mashing several of them together into something completely incomprehensible. "I couldn't fall asleep so I was just going to go pee because I was thirsty and my dream woke me up about computers making too much noise in the next room and it was cold."
His fears were unfounded. The lab would have been completely silent if it wasn't for the loud snoring that came from Tavros' room, the last one he had to pass. Equius could give him the ability to walk, but it seemed that no one could cure his inability to breathe properly.
Karkat's door was set apart from the others. He had claimed no less than five separate rooms, alleging that his status as leader allowed him to demand such great privacy and separation. No one really knew why a leader would require so much privacy in the first place, but the lab was spacious and rooms were hardly a commodity, so no one had said anything.
Sollux hadn't decided if he should knock. It might betray his location to the Trolls that he still imagined to be lurking in the shadows. However, barging in might cause a raucous so loud as to betray his location to the entire universe. He glanced around the dark, empty hallways once more before he slowly and silently turned the doorknob and stepped into the room.
Karkat was staring at him. "What are you doing, Sollux?"
He stopped mid-step. "O-Oh. H-Hey."
Karkat was sitting up in the small room's strange, cushioned slab, his lower half covered by the light material that had been laid out over them. "Hi."
He had not prepared for this obvious series of potential events. "I was ... I couldn't sleep ... so ... I had to ... pee."
The other Troll's flat expression was visible even in the dim light of the room's only window. "Okay. Well, how 'bout you don't pee in here?"
Sollux sighed and relaxed his body, closing the door behind him quietly. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep. Too much to think about. I figured I'd see if you were awake, too."
"I haven't slept in a fucking solar sweep," Karkat said, frowning. "These fucking things are horrible."
"I know," Sollux was relieved that Karkat hadn't yet jumped on him for showing up in his room, unannounced. He walked to the slab and sat down on the edge, examining it. "What kind of fucked up species wants to lie on some flat slab of stuffing all night?"
"Yeah, and I'm sure it's hard for you to not have a red and blue one to choose from."
"Shut up."
There was a lapse in their conversation, and Sollux felt his anxiety rise up. Neither of them had spoken about their encounter earlier in the day, and had opted to avoid each other instead.
Karkat was clearly on the same page as him. "OK, I have been thinking about this all day," he put on his best serious face, which usually amused Sollux. "I propose that … we never talk about what happened earlier ever again."
Sollux considered the proposition. He wasn't sure what else they could do about it, anyway. " … Okay."
"Great."
"Yeah. Great." He had uneasily stumbled toward Karkat's room for a variety of reasons, and finding closure on their awkward encounter was definitely one of them. It may not have been his first choice, but he was glad for the opportunity to move on.
They looked in opposite directions. Karkat shifted uncomfortably in his spot. "So … did you see when Terezi was fucking with Nepeta earlier?"
"Oh yeah!" his voice sounded more enthusiastic than he intended. "Whacking her with her cane while pretending it was part of some role play…"
"Yeah!" Karkat was a little too eager to change the subject as well. "That was pretty funny. She couldn't tell her to stop because she'd be breaking character."
Sollux nodded. "Equius tried to intervene; I think it was after you left. He tried to grab the cane mid-strike but she was too fast for him and he ended up tripping and falling over like a fucking tree."
Karkat let out a particularly forced laugh. "Oh man. That is hilarious."
"Yeah. Then she whacked him when he was on the ground."
"Terezi can actually be pretty great, at least when you're not at the receiving end of her attacks. Or … of her attention at all, really."
"Hah … Yeah."
They both looked down uncomfortably as silence crept back into the room.
"Yeah … " Karkat rubbed the back of his neck.
Sollux scratched his nose. "… Yeah."
Karkat coughed.
"Did you … did you ever finish trolling that kid?" Sollux asked awkwardly, eager for any sort of distraction.
"The Heir? No, he is still a plump little groundfruit ripe for some serious trolling."
Silence again. Sollux felt anxiety creep back into the pit of his stomach.
"KK … this is weird."
"WELL IT'S YOUR FAULT!" he snarled.
Sollux shot up in his seat at the abrupt accusation, anger appearing instantly. "What?! Since when?!"
"You were the INSTIGATOR!"
"Y-You! YOU instigated!"
"I HAVE NEVER INSTIGATED IN MY LIFE."
Sollux slammed a hand onto the soft bedslab as his annoyance rose. "YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL INSTIGATOR AND ANTAGONIZER!"
"HOW ARE THOSE RELATED?"
"I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU ARE BOTH OF THEM ALWAYS."
They glared at each other.
"OK," Karkat said with contrived finality, "This is clearly not going to work. We need a better solution. I suggest expelling you into space."
Sollux was eager to attack his friend as well. "I suggest letting you exist of your own volition without me to always watch out for you until you fuck up everything like always!"
"What?"
"I am saying you are completely helpless on your own and I'm always getting you out of your own shit!"
"You DIED once. How am I the one who's always getting into shit?!"
"Why do you always bring up ancient history?!"
"THIS WAS A FEW DAYS AGO, SOLLUX!" Karkat waved his arms around dramatically. A thought visibly occurred to him and he sunk back, eyeing Sollux with disgust. "Come to think of it … I never told you that I saw Feferi rub her slimy gills all over your face! Oh god I can't BELIEVE I forgot about that! I need to go wash myself FOREVER."
Sollux shot an accusatory finger into his face as he pulled out his ace in the hole. "GAMZEE TOLD ME YOU CRIED."
Karkat's jaw dropped. "WHAT?! W-WELL -- MAYBE I WAS ONLY CRYING BECAUSE I WAS SO DISGUSTED BY SEEING THAT FISHY RETARD LAP UP YOUR DISGUSTING MUSTARD BLOOD!"
"YEAH, DOESN'T IT UPSET YOU HOW MANY GIRLS ARE AFTER ME ALL THE TIME WHEN ALL YOU HAVE IS GAMZEE TRYING TO TOUCH YOUR FACE?"
"NO. I MEAN, YES THAT BUGS ME, BUT HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY USE THE FACT THAT A DEAD GIRL AND A FUCKING FISH ARE AFTER YOUR GNARLED LITTLE BULGE TO MAKE ME JEALOUS?"
"IT'S BETTER THAN …" Sollux struggled to come up with a retort as he began to notice how silly his charges were becoming. "WHATEVER IT IS … THAT YOU HAVE."
Karkat only glowered back at him.
Sollux glared at the floor. "This is stupid. I'm tired of yelling."
"I say we go with my suggestion of flinging you into space."
He shot his friend an angry look.
"What?" Karkat looked genuinely surprised at the reaction. "You know it would solve a lot of problems!"
Sollux sighed; his fluctuating emotions were draining. "OK … we can't talk about it … and we certainly can't NOT talk about it. What are we supposed to do?"
"Maybe we should go back to when we only interacted through Trollian. Things were much easier to manipulate then. Logs could be deleted."
"We can't be social retards forever, Karkat."
"Why not?!" he cried. "We're about to die! I think it's perfectly reasonable to think that we can maintain this for the rest of our lives, considering their truncated length!"
Sollux couldn't help but growl at his friend's annoying response. "You know, with all those shitty romance movies you watch, you'd think you'd know how to handle something like this!"
"This is COMPLETELY different!"
Though Sollux was tired of the subject already, he couldn't help how his frustration forced him to continue it. "HOW?!"
"Well, this isn't romance."
Sollux stared at him. "What?"
"I mean … it falls into the REALM of romance but that's not what it was! It's not like I'm gonna … you know, DO something about it."
"What?" he repeated.
"Well, why would I?" Karkat closed his eyes and began to speak in a voice that feigned intelligence. "I am an impartial third party observer of the romantic endeavors taken on by our people. If I become involved then my status as an expert becomes jeopardized as bias may set in."
Sollux nearly pulled on his hair. "ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW?"
"I wouldn't expect you to know anything about being a scholar."
He sputtered incomprehensibly, a sense of rejection nowhere to be found in his current state of shock. "Bu—I –What?! WHY did you let me do ANYTHING AT ALL THEN?!"
"If you're the instigator then I'm not endangering my academic duties," he said simply.
This time Sollux did pull. Hard. "OH MY GOD."
"What?"
"I can't believe you are REALLY going to be like this!"
Karkat crossed his arms defiantly, and a bit childishly. "It's just how it is."
Sollux tried to calm himself, though with his friend's dismissal of their earlier encounter and his annoying superiority it proved quite difficult. "So anyone in the world could jump on you RIGHT NOW and have their way with you and as long as you didn't initiate it, you wouldn't consider it real romance?"
"I would simply be observing a natural phenomenon," was his smug response. "Well, wait. No, it couldn't be ANYONE. I do have standards!"
Sollux attempted to set fire to his friend by means of his intense stare. "You are the absolute fucking worst."
"Oh, whatever!"
Sollux felt as though he might bite through his tongue. "Fine. So, it was all just a natural phenomenon that you do not object to because you are so god damned impartial! FINE!"
"Hey, I SAID that there are some people I would object to! THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT."
"OH OKAY, THANKS KK."
He frowned. "You are so pissy sometimes. I basically just admitted that I was OK with what happened! That was practically an emotional fucking breakthrough. Way to be a god damned nooklicker, Sollux, fucking up my fucking emotional blossoming!"
He had to forcibly deny the urge to split his friend in half via his particularly useful system of emotion-based psionic violence. "What are you expecting me to do, exactly?! Am I supposed to be your instigator again, so you can hide behind the WORST FUCKING EXCUSE I'VE EVER HEARD?"
Karkat looked surprised. "What? It's—It's not an excuse!"
"GEE SOLLUX, I SURE DIDN'T MIND YOU EMOTING ALL OVER ME LIKE THAT BUT TURNS OUT I WAS MERELY OBSERVING YOUR FLUSHED BEHAVIOR UP CLOSE AND DIDN'T ACTUALLY MEAN ANY OF THAT ISN'T THAT FUNNY HA HA HA."
"Flushed?! I—I SAID that there are some people I would—"
"HA HA HA HA."
"Stop … stop being such a little grub!"
He felt as though he had reached an emotion beyond the spectrum of anger. "If you can't own up to it then FINE, that's FINE, Karkat. But don't insult me with your flimsy fucking excuses!"
"It's not an excuse! I am owning up to it! I am owning up SO FUCKING HARD. Oh my GOD I cannot BELIEVE how hard I am owning right now!"
"You know, I think normally I would feel pretty shitty about this. I think normally I'd consider it a PRETTY BIG SLIGHT. PRETTY HIGH ON THE FUCKING REJECTION SCALE. But, whatever. I'm not going to be your ‘instigator' to save you the hassle of having to stick your neck out and risk real emotional repercussions. You are a fucking slime sucking idiot and I can't understand why I ever spent even a MODICUM of emotion on you."
"W-Well … I don't need you to be my instigator! I mean, I don't WANT you to be my instigator!"
"Good!" he snarled. "'Cause we're about to fucking die and I would HATE TO WASTE ANY MORE OF MY PRECIOUS TIME ON YOU."
Karkat looked uncomfortable. "Good … I feel the same way."
Sollux was beyond noticing. "I can't BELIEVE I was your … your stupid INSTIGATOR. FUCK. I am a blistering fucking herpe deep in the crook of the devgil himself but at least I have the sense to be done with you FOR GOOD. You're an idiot and I hope you sit here alone and feel sorry for yourself all night!"
"I have nothing to feel sorry for, you – you just don't understand! Also YOU'RE the idiot, I was COMPLIMENTING you on how—"
"IT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT."
"You're no emotional fucking expert, Captor, why the fuck are you—"
"I SAID I'M DONE." Sollux stood up, his hands balled up into fists, squeezing them together tightly. He looked to Karkat with finality. "CLEARLY I MADE A MISTAKE IN BEING YOUR STUPID INSTIGATOR ONCE, BUT I PROMISE I WON'T MAKE IT AGAIN."
"Sollux—"
"SHUT UP KARKAT, JEGUS CHRIGST JUST STOP TALKING FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE."
"But—"
Sollux turned away from him again and stepped towards the door, his intense anger still drowning out the obvious and impending sense of rejection and insecurity that hovered just beyond his periphery.
"H-Hey!" Karkat dove forward grabbed Sollux by the arm before he could take another step, pulling his body halfway out from under the blankets. Sollux reeled back at the touch, mistaking it for aggression and dragging Karkat further away from the slab until he was hovering over the ground. Karkat's legs tangled in the bedslab's loose fabric as he tried to find balance. His fingers dug into Sollux's arm and before either could make an adjustment to avoid the impending crash, Karkat tumbled face first toward the ground, one hand still clinging to Sollux's elbow, pulling him down along with him.
"God damnit," Sollux cried as he was dragged down onto a knee, Karkat writhing about next to him. "You fucking spaz!"
Karkat's legs were fully wrapped in the sheet now, and he began clawing desperately at Sollux, attempting to escape from the white cocoon that had enveloped his legs. "What the fuck is this stuff?!" he yelled as he knocked Sollux over onto his back, one hand crushing down on his face. His restrained legs splayed around dramatically, kicking Sollux in various locations.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" he cried as he tried to block the incoming attacks.
"Auuughh!!" Karkat wasn't paying attention to his friend, and pawed at his face once more as he tried to regain his balance and wriggle free of the fabric.
"OK, YOU ARE PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE NOW AND I AM ABOUT TO MURDER YOU," Sollux yelled. Karkat was nonresponsive as he continued to struggle, cursing and waving his various appendages around. Finally, Sollux shoved the wriggling mass next to him as hard as he could.
"Augh!" Karkat rolled away from the shove and came to a stop on his back, his legs wrapped together even tighter than before. With the remnants of his energy he clawed at the material one last time, cursing. He quickly gave up and fell back to the floor, staring up. He exhaled wearily. "I ... I fell."
"WHAT? REALLY? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"
" ... Sorry."
Sollux sighed angrily and adjusted his glasses, making sure they were still intact. "It's like babysitting a mentally handicapped grub with you sometimes, KK."
Karkat only looked to the ceiling, silent and pitiful, as Sollux glared down at him angrily. Finally he sighed once more and rolled his eyes. He still felt sorry for his friend, after all was said and done.
"Okay, stay still; I'll undo another one of your ridiculous messes for you, but then I'm done. For good."
" … I'm sorry."
Sollux ignored him and looked to the tangled bed sheets, examining them for an edge. He briefly considered pulling at it sharply, sending his friend rolling away across the floor. It would be the least of potential revenge tactics he could partake in, considering how much he had been put through.
Karkat slowly hoisted himself up on his arms, looking sad and pathetic with his legs wrapped together. "I'm not going to unfurl you across the floor," he said, assuming Karkat was privy to the more devious thoughts he was having. "Despite how hilarious and well-deserved it would be."
As he reached toward the sheet, a hand grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him mid-air.
"KK, I swear, despite how much I hate you I am just trying to help."
Still he was silent. Sollux looked up to him, noticing the odd response. Karkat was flushed. Despite the slight connection, Sollux felt as though the heat emanating from his cheeks passed through them like an electrical current. Yellow-tinged blood rushed to Sollux's face in response.
"Sorry," he said again.
Though his brain stopped functioning under Karkat's unsure expression, Sollux continued to speak. "Why are you – I'm just trying to – I'm going to leave—" He felt like a headless cluckbeast.
Karkat gave a small tug, swallowing visibly and pulling him closer. Their gazes were locked in mutual fear and uncertainty. As it usually happened when Karkat surprised him in such a way, Sollux's mind was blank, emotions taking over for rational thought. His former anger seemed crushed in immediate anxiety. He fought the urge to continue talking, even nonsensically, to avoid the uncomfortable situation. Perhaps he should say something about Karkat being an idiot? He seemed to recall feeling that quite strongly just a few seconds ago.
Sollux attempted to open his mouth to speak, his non-functioning system of cogent thought convincing him that he should fill the silent room with loud, unnecessary words. No sound came from him except a loud, quick heartbeat that rose up to his ears and filled his senses.
In the back of his mind, drowned out by a complex array of conflicting and confusing emotions and the inability to focus on anything rational or coherent, flashed a reminder that he couldn't let himself do this again.
This time, however, Karkat tugged on his wrist once more, his expression mirroring Sollux's uncertainty. Sollux was pulled forward and they both instinctually closed the gap between them, Karkat pulling the wrist past him as they connected.
Karkat pushed into him roughly and desperately, his lips still awkwardly struggling to find the best position. Sollux no longer cared. He pressed back, nearly knocking them both over from his position above. Karkat gripped Sollux's arm tightly, pulling him closer.
The jumbled thoughts continued to flow through Sollux without reason, his heart beating so fast and loud that he worried he would wake the entire lab with the incessant pounding. Karkat's body was tense against him. In the few microseconds they had been connected, one thought managed to take shape in his mind. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM GIVING IN SO FUCKING QUICKLY.
They simultaneously broke the connection for a moment, barely separating past the tips of their noses, as they exchanged a close, worried look. Karkat's expression was still one of frantic uncertainty. The tightness in Sollux's stomach was nearly unbearable. He wondered if his entire body was shaking from his intense anxiety. It was mildly comforting, though it translated to very little in his racing mind, that Karkat was equally and visibly nervous as well.
He shouldn't be doing this, Sollux thought. He was so angry, so utterly done with his friend for once. He would end up saying something horrible once this was over, Sollux knew that. He knew this had to be a mistake, a stupid misunderstanding, putting himself on the line again just to face Karkat's harsh words once more. How could he be so stupid? So easily manipulated? So stupid. Everything was stupid. Stupid Karkat and stupid emotions. He couldn't do this again. He couldn't make the same exact mistake twice!
"Sol-"
Sollux flung himself forward as he tried to speak, kissing him once more, both out of a desire for the connection and a desire to keep his friend from saying anything else that might ruin the moment. It was an effective method, and Karkat brought his free hand to the back of his head, pulling him closer.
God damnit, he thought as his mind began to settle, relaxing into the surprisingly reciprocated connection.
When they finally parted once more, Karkat looked void of all possible annoying responses. Sollux welcomed the blankness, though it meant he was left to his own thoughts. Karkat's expression was unreadable. He stared at Sollux blankly for a moment before breaking into a more familiar expression of unnecessary anger. Sollux's stomach wrung itself as he braced for the callous denial.
"OK, I WILL CLAIM INSTIGATORSHIP FOR THIS IF WE CAN JUST FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID."
Sollux blinked at the unusual response. " … Okay."
They remained still until Karkat began to look uncomfortable once more. "Do you hate me now?"
Sollux was barely able to process the words. "Really? … Shut up."
"I'm sorry," he said, looking away. "but … do you … what if you … I guess … maybe … stayed here. Instead of going back to your room. Because it's … late. And someone might see you in the hall. I mean, if you want."
Sollux frowned. "That's a terrible reason, but … yeah, OK."
He was still avoiding eye contact. "Cool."
The situation hit Sollux hard and he dropped his head down, sighing heavily. "Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE how fucking easily I give into you sometimes."
"Well, I am basically a fucking expert on romance."
Sollux shot him a look. Karkat turned flush once more.
"OK, sorry, I will shut up now."
-------
Sollux barely remembered falling asleep. While it was true that they argued incessantly and pointlessly for quite some time, wrestling and struggling against each other in a way that satisfied their dual needs to drain out their remaining frustration with each other and the now- unspoken desire for some sort of physical connection, they eventually came to a position of rest.
Karkat fell asleep with one hand on Sollux's face, mid-sentence, as he tried to push his head away to stop him from his unending listing of all the stupid shit that proved he was a better programmer than Karkat. Sollux followed suit, his mouth gaping open, drooling onto the slab as he drifted off trying to put to words just how badly Karkat sucked.
Though they were splayed out gawkily, limbs twisted and bodies stacked in a position that should have been uncomfortable, they both passed out, sleeping heavily for the first time since they had arrived in the Medium.
After an unknown amount of time, Sollux blearily opened one eye as one of Karkat's fingers began approaching a nostril. He grumbled sleepily as he tried to bat the hand away. Karkat mumbled a few nonsense words, refusing to move. Sollux forced his eyes open fully to try and find a better place for the hand. As his eyes adjusted to the room and his vision focused slightly, he thought he could see the outline of a figure standing next to the bed. He blinked furiously and as the outline refused to dissipate he shot up, jostling Karkat violently from their entwined position.
"Oh, hey bro," was Gamzee's voice. "I didn't know you were here."
"What—What—" Sollux stared at the other Troll, his brain refusing to make the proper connections.
Karkat tried to sit up, half asleep, to smack at Sollux. "Fucking … stop moving."
"Aw shit man, I'm sorry I had to fuckin' wake you up like this."
Karkat's eyes fluttered open slowly, and as he turned to face the uninvited voice, Sollux could see the muscles in his face tighten. He shot up as well.
"What … What the FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"
Gamzee laughed. "Shit bro, I really fuckin' didn't mean to get you all riled!"
Karkat's eyes were bulging. "GET – GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
Sollux's usual insecurity was once again masked by a stronger emotion: utter shock.
"Haha, I'm real motherfuckin' sorry! I just thought you might be awake. I was hell of all caught up in thinkin' about shit and wanted to come over to rap with you. I guess my man Sollux beat me to it."
Karkat turned to face Sollux, his mouth hanging open.
Sollux wasn't sure how to respond, but Karkat's desperate expression was begging him to do the talking. "I'm not – I didn't – I didn't come to … we're not – I mean, I was just … I had to pee, and so I ended up –"
Gamzee laughed once more, waving a hand at him as though to dismiss the pathetic excuse. "Shit brother, you know it's all good in the hood. I just thought our little Karkles here seemed all on edge lately so I wanted to be there for him like a real bro, but you're way better at doin' that for him than me! This is exactly what we were hopin' would happen, after all!"
Karkat continued to boggle, his mind visibly racing to try and decide which aspect of Gamzee's insanity to comment on first. "K-Karkles?!"
Gamzee looked off into the distance, ignoring him. "I mean, when I was talkin' to Tavros earlier we were all ‘shit dude, is there any way we can help them relax and just do what they clearly want to be doin'?'"
Sollux could no longer speak. Luckily, Karkat was there for him. "WHAT?!"
"Nepeta had some ideas, ‘cause that little juggalette is just the bomb-ass shitnasty at all this romance shit! But then you guys both seemed all motherfuckin' twisted up and shit today so we didn't know what to do. That's when I asked Terezi, ‘cause she seems to have you down fuckin' pat!"
Sollux briefly wondered how Karkat hadn't imploded yet. "OH MY GOD."
"She said it wouldn't be any fuckin' use to talk to you all straight up and shit, but I was all ‘Nah, Karkat is fuckin golden, I bet if I just approached him all straight and shit, he'd respect that."
"MAKARA WE HAVE MADE IT THROUGH A FUCKING LOT LATELY, I REALLY WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO DISMEMBER YOUR FUCKING GRUESOME BODY AFTER SO MANY NEAR DEATH ENCOUNTERS JUST TO THROW YOUR SICK LITTLE PAINTED BITS OUT INTO THE FUCKING BLEAKNESS OF SPACE."
"Haha, wow bro, you really went from all chill to fuckin' crazy at fuckin' light speed, there! Vriska said you would probably flip the fuck out if I asked you all directly, but she doesn't really think you do much other than that anyway! That's when Eridan was like--"
"GET OUT."
"Hey bro, it's cool! No need to get all worked up and shit, I'll leave you two alone! Everyone's gonna be real motherfuckin' happy when I tell them about this tomorrow, though! Feferi said she'd even fuckin' throw you a bomb-ass party if you guys ever finally fessed up!"
"Oh my god," Karkat fell backwards onto the slab, covering his eyes with his hands.
"Sorry again, my brothers. Get some fuckin' sleep, yeah?" Gamzee waved, smiling. Karkat let his arms fall to his sides as he stared up at the ceiling vacantly, his mouth still open. Sollux hadn't moved in some time. Gamzee turned to walk happily to the door, casting one final, fatherly look back at them as he shut it behind him.
Sollux exhaled loudly once they were alone. Karkat was silent. His mouth was still open.
He wasn't sure where to start. There was too much information. Too much. He was overloaded yet again. Finally one thought came through, and Sollux looked down to Karkat. "Nothing ever really works out in our favor, does it?"
He snapped his jaw shut, his eyes narrowing in anger as he thought over the question. "No. No it doesn't. Everything sucks. Also I hate it."
Sollux sighed wearily and fell back onto the slab as well, looking up to the ceiling along with Karkat. "Well … I don't hate you, KK."
The other troll echoed his sigh. "I don't hate you either, I guess."
"So what should we do?"
"Murder them. All of them."
"Okay."
"But first, maybe we should sleep more. To build up strength."
"Yeah, we'll need a lot of strength for all the murdering."
"Indeed."
Sollux couldn't help but laugh. Karkat growled and grabbed him by the arm, forcibly twisting and contorting his body around. He plopped himself down on top once a suitably entangled position was found. "Shut up."
Sollux's struggled to bring his face out from being buried in the soft slab, seeking cool air. That was enough. They fell asleep once more in the horribly malformed position.
Breccia, my love, that was beautiful. And I was laughing out loud when Gamzee showed up. XD
The thought of their attraction being so bloody obvious to all of the other trolls that they were actually plotting to force them to hook up amuses me on so many levels. And now Feferi is going to get to throw a party! I bet she throws the best parties ever...X3
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Originally Posted by orngjce223
Eurobunny in Wales: 
