MSPA fan fiction 2

[nightmarechild]

Wow geeP, I had trouble keeping track of all the conversations I don't know how you wrote that!

[The_Second_Beast]

geeP, that was fantastic. Definitely my favorite part of it was that you took advantage of the IM format. A lot of people, even great writers, will write IMs too much like spoken dialogue. You perfectly captured what happens when too many talkative people get into the same chatroom--they all talk on top of each other, have five conversations at once, and respond to things that were said several lines ago. Bravo.

A few of the parts that cracked me up:

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The whole unicorn monologue that began it.

CTG: no i got it, youre a werecatgirl
CTG: you were bitten by a catgirl while hiking through the moors of japan
CTG: and now you become one on the full moon
CTG: wait does japan have moors

FTC: :33 > wait what are cahoots?
FTC: :33 > i dont think i have a cahoots section yet!

FTC2: uHhHhHhHhH
FTC2: SoRrY bRo I fOrGeT
FTC: hOlY sHiT, mE tOo
FAT: bUT I DIDN'T KISS HER BACK BECAUSE I, wAS SCARED,
FTC: It'S lIkE yOu ReAlLy ArE mE
FTC: fUcKiN mIrAcLeS

FAG3: Don't listen to meeeeeeee, I'm lyiiiiiiiing!
FAG2: You 8itch! Why do I always ruin everything for me?!

FAG: 8oth of you can it! I'm through with you stupid 8oys!
CTG: i dont know
FGA: Vriska
FGA: As Your Moirail I Must Applaud You On This Breakthrough
FAG: Yeah!!!!!!!! I don't need any of you.
CTG: i think this shit is like kryptonite for them
FAG: 8ecause I'm deeply in love with Nepeta!
FGA: What

After that the hilarity is completely nonstop.

Okay, so at the end, this is what I think happened, but I'm not 100% sure.

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Nepeta started crying right after Equius was yelling at her and Terezi broke the news that she and Karkat were an item. I'm not sure if Nepeta was actually crying because of Equius or if she was using whatever he did (smash a computer?) as an excuse. Either way, Karkat blamed Equius and started fighting him. Terezi demanded Sollux intervene on Karkat's behalf and attacked him when he refused. Feferi fought Terezi because of this and Eridan backed her up. Vriska forced Tavros to try and end the fight, but he was unsuccessful and accidentally damaged the server racks. Vriska entered the fight and someone in the brawl started a fire.

I can't believe you were able to manage all those relationships so smoothly and naturally. You have all the shippings. All of them.

[Graven_Image]

geeP, you know what that pestermemo reminds me of?

A DOUBLE RAINBOW, MAN.

Yes, all 16 characters' chat colors have been injected into those three words.


Also, the ending line is just retarded enough to make me facepalm, but funny enough to not make me bang my head against the wall.

[kmsumrall]

So, I was trying to think up some story ideas, when a what if occurred to me.

What if a tv exec got the rights to hivebent?

Alterian Heroes, the saturday morning cartoon show!

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Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight for justice!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight with might!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They do what they can to make things right!)

Karkat is the leader,
Terezi fights crime!
Tavros has a rocket chair,
And Gamzee is chill all the time!

Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight for justice!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight with might!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They do what they can to make things right!)

Vriska was bad now good,
Kanaya give us missions true,
The fight the evils of the Blue,
Cause Equius is one bad dude!

(Karkat) You know whats going on, kids! Equius is being a big bad meanine and its up to the Alterian Heroes to stop his evil plans with his evil team of BlueS!

Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight for justice!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight with might!)
Alterian Heroooooooooooooooooooes!

4s a Quadrant, the sitcom!

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Karkat: I'm going out to the bar, you guys wanna come?
Sollux: Maybe if we go to a gay bar.
(Audience wooooo~)
Kanya: Can't you at least wait till its night?
Karkat: Its always night.
(Audience laugh)
Terezi: Are you seeing that Jack guy again? I don't like him.
Karkat: He's ok!
Terezi: He stabbed you!
Karkat: A couple of those were accidents!
(Audience big laugh, fade out to commercial.)

All my trolls, the Drama!

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Kanaya: Vriska, I think I love you.
Vriska: I can't deal with this right now, my brother, Tavros, is in the hospital because I accidentally drove the car off a cliff.
Kanaya: Maybe it wasn't an accident.

Single Female Lawyer, the court show!

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Terezi: As you can plainly see, this graph shows my client was working on a computer project at the time and logged into his work account.
His tyranny: That graph is upside down.

Hivebent, the reality show!

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http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003889

I'm sorry for this

[Cakepan]

Haha, that was fast! I like this, it's fun to imagine Jack acting awkward about stabbing Karkat.

Haha, thank you very much! Karkat's hero worship of Jack is kind of one of my favorite things about the comic, so I couldn't help but to write up at least something small pertaining to the "knowing for a fact" that the third time was an accident.

[Bardic Feline]

Sorry for what, ksumrall? XD I would actually watch some of those shows. Especially the Single Female Lawyer one.

Terezi: What, upside down? That's impossible! *starts licking the chart to check*
courtroom audience: *murmurs uncomfortably as they watch her*
Terezi:...Whoops! It is upside down! My bad! Well, then, clearly my client is as guilty as sin.

[kmsumrall]

Sorry for what, ksumrall? XD I would actually watch some of those shows. Especially the Single Female Lawyer one.

Terezi: What, upside down? That's impossible! *starts licking the chart to check*
courtroom audience: *murmurs uncomfortably as they watch her*
Terezi:...Whoops! It is upside down! My bad! Well, then, clearly my client is as guilty as sin.

There is a slight (read: good) chance I mashed some jokes from family guy and arrested development together to arrive at that one. Also
His tyranny: actually, this proves his innocence.
Terezi: does it? I guess I shouldn't have put him in that noose.

[I-gor]

There is a slight (read: good) chance I mashed some jokes from family guy and arrested development together to arrive at that one. Also
His tyranny: actually, this proves his innocence.
Terezi: does it? I guess I shouldn't have put him in that noose.

Lemonsnout: You know what they say. No noose is good noose.

Also I just finished reading through this thread. I've been behind about ten pages for a couple of weeks now. I might be working on something (not very good).

[Bardic Feline]

The title is also a shoutout to Futurama, right? X3

Client: *wheezes* I'm...not...dead....yet...
Terezi: yes you are, shut up.
Studio audience: *laughs*

theme song: Single Female lawyer/ hanging all the clients/ working hard for justice/ and being self reliant!

[geeP]

Okay, so at the end, this is what I think happened, but I'm not 100% sure.

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Nepeta started crying right after Equius was yelling at her and Terezi broke the news that she and Karkat were an item. I'm not sure if Nepeta was actually crying because of Equius or if she was using whatever he did (smash a computer?) as an excuse. Either way, Karkat blamed Equius and started fighting him. Terezi demanded Sollux intervene on Karkat's behalf and attacked him when he refused. Feferi fought Terezi because of this and Eridan backed her up. Vriska forced Tavros to try and end the fight, but he was unsuccessful and accidentally damaged the server racks. Vriska entered the fight and someone in the brawl started a fire.

Close! Nepeta did actually end up slightly hurt somehow struggling physically with Equius, and because she was a baby about it people started overreacting. I confess it didn't actually occur to me that she'd be upset about Terezi's announcement since those conversation strings were written at different times (most of the multiple conversation effect was achieved by splicing together two conversations after they were written. Now I have destroyed the magic forever!)

I'm not surprised that the trolls' final breakdown was a bit hard to follow, the problem being that people in a brawl do not stop to text about what's happening in their brawl. I already cheated a bit inserting as much narrative dialogue as I did, although I guess I probably should have inserted a line with someone observing that Nepeta and Equius were scuffling--that's probably the most ambiguous point and it happens before the brawl proper is underway. Lessons learned, I guess! Other lessons: DO NOT WRITE CHATLOGS WITH 20 CHARACTERS (counting time duplicates.) It was fun and I'm glad people were able to enjoy it, but I doubt there's really an elegant way to keep that many balls in the air (hence long unexplained silences for most of the characters at some point or another.)

[Metaflare]

So I wrote a thing. Based on this thing. BUT UNLIKE MY OTHER TWO WORKS IN PROGRESS, this shall only be one chapter, AKA: Oneshot.

The End of the Trollian Empire

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She stood at the table, reading and rereading the battle plans over and over. Each and every movement had to be perfect, or else they had a very likely chance of recieving major casualties. A slight humming in her mind seemed determined to distract her from her work, but she made sure to stay on task. No time for rest. Only idiots rest when there's work to be done.

So of course her concentration would be ruined by a lowly peon bursting into her chambers. "Empress! Empress Isishi!"

The empress of Alternia slowly turned around to glare at the messenger. "If this isn't of the highest priorety, I'm going to have one hell of a time sending your bloody corpse back to your child."

"It's-I-It is-" The man seemed too shaken up to be fully coherent. In fact, blue-tinted tears seemed to be streaming down his face.

Of course, this didn't deter Empress Isishi Venhem. "OUT WITH IT!" she screamed as a dangerous aura literally surrounded her very being. The lower troll just silently handed her the note he was holding and proceeded to collapse onto the floor, sobbing without shame.

There were only four words written on the paper, but they were the four words no Troll ever wanted to see in the same sentence. "CODE PURPLE: VAST GLUB."

The warning fell slowly to the ground as the empress fell to the ground in despair. "...How...?" She asked the ground, as she seemed to be focused on nothing else. Something had angered or hurt Gl'bgolyb enough for it to send out the apocolyptic psychic shockwave that would kill every Troll in existance.

Except for that damn Feferi.

Isishi chickled dryly. Of course that spoiled little brat would survive this. She's had nothing but her way since she was a tiny grub.

The empress punched the ground. And again. And again. And again until her knuckles started to bleed pink and even then she didn't stop. She didn't stop until she couldn't feel her arm any longer.

After a while, the troll who originally bursted in and the empress had calmed down, but they both still had an air of devestation around them. "...Colonel Serket." She ordered.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"Go down to the bridge and open up all comm lines to my mic here. There's something I have to say to the entire fleet."

"...Alright." The man slowly stood up and walked out the door, all purpose of life gone from his body.

It took a moment for Isishi to compose herself enough to stand up, and a while longer before she could find the mic over on her desk. She pressed the button, and began to speak,

"Brothers, sisters, matesprits kismesises, morails, and auspisitices, I speak to you all today to bring dire news. The one day that a Troll never wishes to have seen has arrived. The Vast Glub...Has been sent." She left that statement hanging for a moment; not only to let it sink into the minds of her people, but also to steel herslef for what she was about to say.

"I am sure most of you have noticed it. Especially those of you on the redder end of the hemospectum: a humming, in your mind. Distracting, annoying, maybe a bit painful. Even I can feel it. Yes, your ruler is just as mortal as you are.

"But, I have not contacted you all to fill your hearts with dispair. The end of the Trolls may be coming, but I for one do not plan on just sitting around waiting for the end! That is unbecoming of a Troll, no matter what blood caste you may be! As Trolls, I say we face the end with all our pride, and all our dignity! We will face the Vast Glub, and give it a big FUCK YOU in the face! Tonight will mark the night of the greatest assault of the Trollian Empire! Tonight, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS! TONIGHT, WE WILL DIE WITH GLORY! ALL HAIL THE TROLLIAN EMPIRE!!!"

Throughout every ship in the fleet, the voices of the Trolls cheered as one, shouting, "ALL HAIL THE TROLLIAN EMPIRE!!! ALL HAIL EMPRESS ISISHI VENHEM!!!"

Okay my fingers hurt.

Also, funny thing. It loses some of its omph when the bane of your race's existence is called the Vast Glub. :\

[Odina]

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So I wrote a thing. Based on this thing. BUT UNLIKE MY OTHER TWO WORKS IN PROGRESS, this shall only be one chapter, AKA: Oneshot.

The End of the Trollian Empire

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She stood at the table, reading and rereading the battle plans over and over. Each and every movement had to be perfect, or else they had a very likely chance of recieving major casualties. A slight humming in her mind seemed determined to distract her from her work, but she made sure to stay on task. No time for rest. Only idiots rest when there's work to be done.

So of course her concentration would be ruined by a lowly peon bursting into her chambers. "Empress! Empress Isishi!"

The empress of Alternia slowly turned around to glare at the messenger. "If this isn't of the highest priorety, I'm going to have one hell of a time sending your bloody corpse back to your child."

"It's-I-It is-" The man seemed too shaken up to be fully coherent. In fact, blue-tinted tears seemed to be streaming down his face.

Of course, this didn't deter Empress Isishi Venhem. "OUT WITH IT!" she screamed as a dangerous aura literally surrounded her very being. The lower troll just silently handed her the note he was holding and proceeded to collapse onto the floor, sobbing without shame.

There were only four words written on the paper, but they were the four words no Troll ever wanted to see in the same sentence. "CODE PURPLE: VAST GLUB."

The warning fell slowly to the ground as the empress fell to the ground in despair. "...How...?" She asked the ground, as she seemed to be focused on nothing else. Something had angered or hurt Gl'bgolyb enough for it to send out the apocolyptic psychic shockwave that would kill every Troll in existance.

Except for that damn Feferi.

Isishi chickled dryly. Of course that spoiled little brat would survive this. She's had nothing but her way since she was a tiny grub.

The empress punched the ground. And again. And again. And again until her knuckles started to bleed pink and even then she didn't stop. She didn't stop until she couldn't feel her arm any longer.

After a while, the troll who originally bursted in and the empress had calmed down, but they both still had an air of devestation around them. "...Colonel Serket." She ordered.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"Go down to the bridge and open up all comm lines to my mic here. There's something I have to say to the entire fleet."

"...Alright." The man slowly stood up and walked out the door, all purpose of life gone from his body.

It took a moment for Isishi to compose herself enough to stand up, and a while longer before she could find the mic over on her desk. She pressed the button, and began to speak,

"Brothers, sisters, matesprits kismesises, morails, and auspisitices, I speak to you all today to bring dire news. The one day that a Troll never wishes to have seen has arrived. The Vast Glub...Has been sent." She left that statement hanging for a moment; not only to let it sink into the minds of her people, but also to steel herslef for what she was about to say.

"I am sure most of you have noticed it. Especially those of you on the redder end of the hemospectum: a humming, in your mind. Distracting, annoying, maybe a bit painful. Even I can feel it. Yes, your ruler is just as mortal as you are.

"But, I have not contacted you all to fill your hearts with dispair. The end of the Trolls may be coming, but I for one do not plan on just sitting around waiting for the end! That is unbecoming of a Troll, no matter what blood caste you may be! As Trolls, I say we face the end with all our pride, and all our dignity! We will face the Vast Glub, and give it a big FUCK YOU in the face! Tonight will mark the night of the greatest assault of the Trollian Empire! Tonight, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS! TONIGHT, WE WILL DIE WITH GLORY! ALL HAIL THE TROLLIAN EMPIRE!!!"

Throughout every ship in the fleet, the voices of the Trolls cheered as one, shouting, "ALL HAIL THE TROLLIAN EMPIRE!!! ALL HAIL EMPRESS ISISHI VENHEM!!!"

Okay my fingers hurt.

Also, funny thing. It loses some of its omph when the bane of your race's existence is called the Vast Glub. :\

Oh my goodness :0
I literally got chills! Isishi is such a great name too - thank you for coming up with it and thank you for writing this fic! I love it!!!

[kmsumrall]

Ok, I'm in a very weird mood.

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Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight for justice!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight with might!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They do what they can to make things right!)

Karkat is the leader,
Terezi fights crime!
Tavros has a rocket chair,
And Gamzee is chill all the time!

Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight for justice!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight with might!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They do what they can to make things right!)

Vriska was bad now good,
Kanaya give us missions true,
The fight the evils of the Blue,
Cause Equius is one bad dude!

(Karkat) You know whats going on, kids! Equius is being a big bad meanine and its up to the Alterian Heroes to stop his evil plans with his evil team of BlueS!

Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight for justice!)
Alterian Herooooooes! (They fight with might!)
Alterian Heroooooooooooooooooooes!

Alterian Heroes! Episode 13, the Fantom Pizza!

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Karkat steps into the room. “Hey gang, looks like evil is taking a holiday today!”

Vriska looks up from her action figures. “I thought evil never slept.”

Kanaya looks up from her computer. “The BlueS sent us a nice letter saying they would do nothing bad today.”

Karkat looks happy. “Great! I know we can trust them because honesty is the best policy. Lets go get pizza!”

All look happy. “Hooray!”

At the pizza shop they are all at a table.

Tavros is excited. “I like this place because they have wheelchair ramps!”

Terezi chimes in too. “I like it because of the all the rails so I have something to hold onto.”

Gamzee drinks his drink. “So cool man, so cool man.”

Terezi waves her hands in the air. “I smell pizza!”

Vriska looks bored. “And not crime?”

They all laugh.

The big pizza is put on the table. Gamzee reaches for a slice and his hand goes through the pizza.

All look shocked. “What?!”

Terezi stands up. “I smell crime!”

Karkat stands up. “This can only be the work of Equiusuis and his Blue Meanies!”

Vriksa stands up. “I know a secret way into the base!”

They are in a sewer. Karkat looks annoyed. “Next you you want to suggest a secret way in, forget it!”

Tavros is floating in his rocket chair. “I’m s-s-scared!”

Vriska is trying to tiptoe. “At least you don’t have to step in this. Yuk!”

Tavros blushes. “You can g-get in the chair too, if you want.”

Vriska looks away. “Yuk!”

Terezi up. “I smell the Blue team!”

They walk through a door. A cage falls on them.

“Welcome!”

Equius walks out with Aradia holding his arm. “I see you fell for my trap!”

They all look at Vriska. “Did you set us up?”

Vriska looks angry. “Of course not!”

Karkat looks at Equius. “You mean that letter was a lie?”

Nepeta walks out. “Karkat! They you come to see me?”

Karkat looks at Equius. “You mean that letter was a lie?”

Equius laughs. “I told Sollux to write it as a joke too!”

Karkat pulls open the bars. “Lying is bad!”

Equius looks sad. “Wow, you are right. I’ll never lie again. People can get hurt. Here is your pizza!”

Karkat and his friends pose like a team.
End credits.

[Sushi Database]

best pesterlog ever written

plain and simple

gj geeP

also i really like the end of the alternian empire. I like that they go out with some defiant dignity.

[Red Pen]

In which Dave takes an entire chapter to do something as simple as acquire a pen, and the author cranks the crack factor up to eleven with something resembling manic glee.

Previously, on Unhinged...

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Part 1: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3880657
Part 2: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3882155
Part 3: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3899736
Part 4: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3904475
Part 5: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3927875
Part 6: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3956414
Part 7: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post3986329
Part 8: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4022794

Unhinged - part 9

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-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at ??:?? --

TG: somethings up
GG: what?
TG: im looking at roses house right now
TG: and there are no imps or ogres or anything anywhere on my screen
GG: oh, um...
GG: well maybe they are in other parts of lolar? rose isnt at her house so they really dont have any reason to be there, right?
TG: thats not how it works
TG: they spawn everywhere randomly and they dont just stop showing up because the player is somewhere else
GG: you know that stuff because youre a sprite?
TG: yeah
TG: the game tells me some of this stuff
TG: and right now its not doing what its telling me its doing
TG: so i need you to ask john if his house is still full of imps
GG: dave! :-(
GG: please ask him yourself! i know hes really upset right now but thats because hes worried about rose! whatever you two are mad about, you need to talk to each other and be friends again!
TG: look just ask him
TG: i dont feel like having another all out strife with the guy
TG: ill talk to him when weve both had some time to cool down
GG: you promise? :-/
TG: yes
GG: ok then...
GG: but im going to keep bothering you about it until you do!
GG: john says his house is empty. this is weird!
TG: ok now check mine
TG: id do it myself but i can't exactly leave while im asleep in here
GG: ok ill zoom out and see!
GG: oh no
TG: oh no
TG: whats oh no
TG: give me context here
GG: um dave i think i know where all the imps are disappearing to...

- - - - - - - - - -

A blast of fire smashed through the winding and warped walkways of Derse, turning the world from purple to brilliant orange. Uttering a long and creative string of explicatives, Dave Strider dived down a side street at random and felt the heat of another searing fireball explode against the side of a building behind him. He'd expected to be trailed, after being caught talking to Rose. He hadn't counted on his follower being a Basilisk.

The Sulphur Basilisk skidded around the corner at breakneck pace and scuttled after him, its huge, ashen wings flapping wildly as it scrambled like a lizard across the adjacent wall, wide maw gaping in a slack-jawed grin and dripping drool. He could have taken it on in his other body. But here on Derse, without his swords or his turntables, Dave could do nothing but flee. He half-sprinted, half-flew, out of the far end of the street and found himself on another of those angular walkways that wound around the upper stories of Derse's skyscrapers, twisting in accordance with the planet's distorted geometry like something designed by M.C. Escher. The monster burst out after him, and Dave quickly leaped over the railing and plummeted deeper into the maze-like heart of the violet city.

He hit the tiled surface of a lower walkway, his landing cushioned by flight, and rolled out of the way just as a massive fireball smashed down after him and sent razor-sharp chips of stone flying through the air. Dave heard panicked shouts as a few of the pawns nearest him on the walkway threw up their arms against the shrapnel.

"Yeah, sorry about this. Blame your glorious monarch," he muttered, and took off running again.

Pawns Dave had to push through scattered to let the Basilisk pass, and the creature's feet thundered against the ground behind him, but he knew he couldn't simply take off and fly, because then it would take off and fly, and the Knight knew which of them was faster. More walkways, bridges, and alleys blurred past, and then, panting from exhaustion and pain and clutching at the stabbing ache rising in his side where Draconian had kicked him, he rounded a corner into an alleyway and smacked face first into something huge and black. For the second time that day he found himself sent sprawling, this time by his own inertia, and his bruised body protested painfully as he hit the ground.

In the shadows of the alley, the massive figure towering over Dave raised its arms above its head. The Knight caught the flash of a gleaming white blade descending through the air...

...and then the Sulphur Basilisk leapt forward to devour him, and the alabaster sword cleanly severed its head.

Dave lay there dazedly as a shower of grist rained down around him. The massive sword-bearing creature bent down and peered at him with beady white eyes set far apart beneath the brim of its tall hat, and said in a voice heavily impeded by its large, purple beak: "Squawk."

"Um," said Dave, still somewhat dazed. "Thanks?"

"What was it chasing, Bishop?" said another voice from somewhere behind the hulking creature, and a moment later a black pawn was pushing her way past it through the alley, so dwarfed by its mass that her head barely reached its waist. A moment later she had hauled Dave unceremoniously upright by the bloodstained collar of his pajamas, and was shouting in his face: "WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY? YOU ONE OF US OR ONE OF THEM??"

"Not so loud, Pariah," the gigantic Bishop muttered, its cloak shifting as it reached out and plucked Dave out of her grasp, holding him up by the back of his shirt as if he weighed nothing. The pawn's fingertips left long black smears down his front. "He's one of us. Squawk," it added, as an afterthought.

"You don't know that. Could be a spy for the Slayer. Everyone's a spy for the Slayer. YOU A SPY, BOY?! ADMIT YOU'RE A SPY!! I say we kill him."

"Why would the Basilisk be after him if he was on Noir's side?" the Bishop reasoned calmly. "He's one of us."

"'Cause Noir's a raving lunatic," said the pawn who seemed to fit that description very aptly herself. "Came from the direction of the palace, didn't he? Ergo he's a spy ergo we should kill him. If he's not one of us he's one of them."

"Nope, definitely one of us," Dave chimed in quickly, still being suspended a few feet off the ground by the Bishop's firm grip on his shirt. "Totally on your side. Go team us."

The pawn eyed him suspiciously, and it occurred to Dave, albeit unhelpfully, that fighting-class pawns were not very smart. "You're really one of us?"

"Uh-huh. Oh yeah. Team player, that's me."

"Pariah," the Bishop said slowly, lowering Dave to the ground but not releasing him. The Knight considered trying to make a break for it, but turned the thought down after considering the sharp-beaked, sword-wielding brute standing directly behind him. "I keep telling you, he's one of us! Squawk. This boy is... Well, look at him!"

The pawn leaned forward and squinted her milky white eyes as though nearsighted. "Ahrg, I can't see with these things." And then, to Dave's surprise, she reached up to touch her eyes, and a pair of pearlescent contact lenses came away, revealing irises as oily black as her skin. But her skin wasn't oily black; he could see as she leaned in closer that her entire body had been painted over with what looked like shoe polish, and around the edges of her face it was flaking away to reveal the alabaster carapace underneath.

"Oh my god," hissed the Warpainted Pariah. "Oh my god."

"We have to go, quickly, before they send another underling," the Bishop told them both. "Squawk. They'll be searching for him with their Walls, so we'll have to take the back alleys in order to get him back to-"

"Hold it," Dave muttered, at last squirming out of the Bishop's grasp. "Yeah, no, this isn't gonna happen. It's great that you killed that Basilisk, and I'm thrilled that you've apparently decided not to stab me or whatever, but I've got places to be, so..."

He would have taken off then and there, had not the Pariah suddenly launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around him in a vicegrip, bawling uncontrollably. "Oh my god oh my god oh my god you're him! YOU'RE HIM!! You finally came down from your tower after all these years and the first thing I did was scream at you!! Please don't go because of me! AHHG WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE HIM!! FORGIVE ME!!"

"Uh, okay, we're cool," said a nonplussed Dave, while the pawn sobbed into his shoulder, tears streaking her caliginous facade and making runnels of white down her cheeks. He glanced up at the Bishop beseechingly, and the hulking chessman gently reached down and pried the Warpainted Pariah off of him.

"Our apologies for this misunderstanding, your majesty. Both of us have been through much fear and suffering in the past few days. We fought side by side in the glorious uprising on Skaia's battlefield, only to flee in fear while Jack Noir easily slaughtered both armies, white and black alike. I am a traitor to the crown, and Pariah has no home to return to." Even with that stiff, birdlike face, he managed to look regretful. "We would be killed if the Slayer or his agents found us. So please understand why we find it hard to trust anyone."

"Well, we've got spies of our own," Pariah muttered viciously. "We've got spies everywhere! Everyone on Derse hates him; they'll all help when we call them to arms. We're building a resistance! And it's all for you!" she ranted, grabbing Dave by the shoulders and having to be pulled away by the Bishop again. "It's all been for her and for you!!"

"Good thing you didn't kill me, then," Dave managed, not sure whether or not he was really following the conversation anymore or if this entire scenario had dropped off into the churning waters of dream-logic. As he spoke, his ears finally caught up to his brain, and Dave paused while his mind switched gears. "Wait, 'your majesty?' Who do you people think I am?"

The Traitorous Bishop's beady eyes glimmered. "You're turntechGodhead, Knight of Time and Prince of the Moon, one of the last true heirs of Derse's royal line. Squawk."

There was a long silence from Dave, and then: "...god that title is girly." The news hardly came as a surprise at this point in the game. Dave was all too used to being proclaimed the prophesied chosen one by varying people and for varying reasons. It was just another game mechanic.

"And you're finally here," Pariah was whispering feverishly. "It's you. We've been waiting for you. Anything you need, any order or whim or desire, tell me and I will fight to the death to serve you. We are your resistance. It's you. It's you. My god. It's you."

In my dream I am the star. It's me. Dave nearly broke his cool, ironic demeanor by cracking a grin at that. "Okay, cool, so now I've got a couple of fanatics who'll do whatever I tell them." It was a mark of how very odd his life had been after installing the game that he didn't feel the least bit surprised at that. "Feel like storming the palace and rescuing the moon princess for me?"

"They have the Princess?" the Bishop began, but he was cut off by a tragic wail from the Warpainted Pariah.

"HE DARES!! HE DARES!! AFTER WHAT HE DID TO THE GLORIOUS MONARCHS, HE DARES THREATEN THE PRINCE AND PRINCESS?! I'LL KILL HIM!! I'LL mmph!" Her screams turned to muffled wauling as the Bishop hastily clapped his large hand over her mouth and glanced in apprehension at the mouth of the alley. She struggled helplessly against his mass.

"This is why I don't let her carry the sword," the beaked chessman explained. "I'm afraid you and the Princess fall into the category of her obsession. Squawk."

"Her obsession?" said Dave, not entirely sure he wanted to know.

"Kings. She adores them. And if the Princess has been taken, then of course we will do everything in our power to aid her. But perhaps we should discuss this in a... safer setting."

Dave nodded and trailed the Traitorous Bishop as he led the way through the dark back-alleys of Derse. "Just how big is this resistance of yours, anyway?"

"With you as our leader," the Bishop said, "There are now three of us."

Behind him, the Knight of Time gave a low groan. "Great. We can totally storm the palace with that. Look out Jack Noir, 'cause we're a freaking army of three. Man, we win, no contest. He might as well just surrender now."

"Storming the palace does seem a bit ambitious," the Bishop agreed, either not noticing Dave's sarcasm or choosing to ignore it. "But surely we can help in small ways. If there is anything she needs - food, tools, knowledge gathered from outside the palace walls..."

Dave shrugged. "She could use a pen."

He heard the Pariah gasp, and the Bishop came to a halt so abruptly that Dave almost walked into him. "A pen?"

He turned around with a flourish, something ghostly white gleaming in his dark hands, and a moment later Dave found himself holding a long, elegant quill pen, glowing ethereally in the shadowy alley. He stared down at it, while above him the Bishop murmured, "My lord, you are a more cunning strategist than I thought."

Dave continued examining the feather blankly. But I could have sworn that when the Bishop was holding it, it was... "Wasn't this a sword a minute ago?"

The Traitorous Bishop gave him a conspiratorial wink as if the the three of them, standing hidden in the narrow, winding alleyways of the dark planet, were in on some secret together. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Squawk."

"Right," said Dave, deciding at this point to stop acting surprised at every mind-warping twist the game decided to throw at him. "Hey, can you stop calling me 'my lord' and 'your majesty' or whatever? It's kind of weird."

"What would you prefer to be called, your- sir?"

"I dunno, maybe His Most Ironic Excellence or something. Nah, too obvious. I'll think about it."

"Squawk."

"What's up with that, anyway?"

"I can't really control the squawks."

"Good for you."

I swear I'm going somewhere with this. I'm setting stuff up for the climax and the next chapter will feature so much Jack you don't even know.

Part ten: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4085248

[JudgeDeadd]

Ok, I'm in a very weird mood.

Alterian Heroes! Episode 13, the Fantom Pizza!

Oh my, the nostalgia! I remember that great episode! My heart almost back-flipped out from my chest like a ninja when the nefarious ghostly pizza showed up. And I felt like reaching through the TV screen and strangling Equius when he revealed his evil plot! Of course I was like 4 at the time, so I might have over-reacted a little. Also the Polish voiceover was really badly made. But I still enjoyed the show immensely.

Nowadays the only memento from that time is my old sweater with the silhouetted Team Red on it. I was pretty sad when my little brother, who now hass the sweater, couldn't tell what was depicted on it. Though it may be because the image almost completely faded away after all these years.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

@ Red Pen: Yay! More Unhinged~ I love the two new characters; Pariah and Bishop. It still feels like there could be, I dunno, 6 or 7 parts left. Is there much left or are we nearing he end for Unhinged? Kinda curious if John will ever get into the action too but I don't think he or Jade will.

[Tenebrais]

Okay I'll type this up then I'll read the next Unhinged.

OpEn SpRiTeLoG

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Gamzee: WhOa
Gamzee: WhAt ThE fUcKiN mOtHeRfUcK
Gamzee: yOu WeRe DeAd
Gamzee: NoW yOuRe AlIvE
Gamzee: iTs A fUcKiN mIrAcLe
Goatsprite: Not really.
Goatsprite: I was resurrected by the game to be your guide through the medium and beyond.
Goatsprite: You see, you, Gamzee, have a very important role to play in the events that will unfold.
Goatsprite: High above us, beyond the gates, is a world called Skaia.
Goatsprite: At the heart of this world, two armies, white and black, war for dominance.
Goatsprite: The forces of darkness, who seek the world's destruction, are always fated to win.
Gamzee: HeY dO yOu ThInK iF yOu GaVe KaRkAt IcE cUbEs
Gamzee: He WoUlD bE lIkE
Gamzee: cOoLkAt
Gamzee: BrOtHeR nEeDs To ChIlL oUt YoU kNoW
Goatsprite: Were you listening to a word I said?
Gamzee: sUrE i WaS
Gamzee: aRmIeS iN tHe SkY
Gamzee: lIkE a MiRaClE
Goatsprite: Well, then. I shall continue.
Goatsprite: Your role in all this is the ultimate riddle.
Goatsprite: You must ascend through the gates, to the Land of Tents and Mirth, and ultimately reach Skaia, where your destiny will unfold.
Gamzee: yEaH mAn I cAn GeT bEhInD tHaT
Gamzee: aLlS yOuR dEsTiNy AnD sHiT
Gamzee: lIkE a MoThEr
Gamzee: FuCkIn
Goatsprite: Miracle.
Goatsprite: I know, Gamzee.

OP3N SPR1T3LOG

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Dragonsprite: sniff sniff sniff
Dragonsprite: hey terezi!
Dragonsprite: hiiiiiii!
Terezi: DR4GON!
Terezi: YOUR3 4L1V3!
Terezi: >:O
Dragonsprite: yes!
Dragonsprite: that was quite a scare!
Dragonsprite: but it all worked out juuuuuuuuust fine.
Dragonsprite: heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
Terezi: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H
Terezi: 1 W4S SO WORR13D WH3N YOU D13D!
Terezi: 3V3N THOUGH 1D 4LR34DY SM3LL3D YOU 1N 4 V1S1ON
Terezi: NOW 1 KNOW WHY YOU SM3LL3D L1K3 4 GHOST 1 GU3SS
Dragonsprite: how do you know what ghosts smell like?
Dragonsprite: ghosts are invisible!
Dragonsprite: innasable
Dragonsprite: heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
Terezi: W3LL K4N4Y4 S41D YOU W3R3 4LL D34D
Terezi: BUT WH4T3V3R
Terezi: 1M B3H1ND ON 4NNOY1NG K4RK4T!
Dragonsprite: heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehe eheehee!
Terezi: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H3H3H3H3H3H3H!

Okay, I read it. Red Pen, well... you already know you're brilliant. Saying it once again would be needless. But I love the characterisation of TB and WP.

[ToreaderTornado]

Okay just read geeP's thing so, this might be late, but,

Brilliant.

Abso-
Fucking-
Lutely-

Brilliant.

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Where was Aradia, though?

[Eco-Mono]

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In my dream I am the star. It's me.

Okay, I'll admit it - I laughed out loud at this part.

[InfiniteLives]

So. First time posting, long time lurking. You know the type. Shifty-eyed newcomers and what not. Makes everyone in the cafeteria glare at them for all of two seconds to put them in place. Hopefully, this isn't that kind of cafeteria. Hopefully, it's a friendly cafeteria where I am invited in and the lunchlady actually wears her hairnet so I don't choke on the taste of her morning shampoo when I find a rather intrusive follicle in the pizza my taste buds were falling madly in love with. What are you doing here, hair strand? Did you really hate being a part of that woman so much that you decided you'd rather divebomb your way into my pepperoni? It couldn't've been that bad.


I'm rambling now aren't I?

Anyway, back on focus, I just wanted to give praise to all the amazing goings on. Just so much amazing in this thread. I do have a question, though. Does anyone know the status of Flavors, or is it going the way of Firefly, doomed to disappear into obscurity thanks to executive meddling i.e. current updates. It was one of my favorite fics and I'm just curious. But, yes, great job everyone. KEEP IT UP!

[KarneWarrior]

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The Games Not Over Yet

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riskyArbiter [RA] began pestering newAce [NA] at 12:39

[RA]: Hey
[RA]: Hey
[RA]: Hey listen
[NA]: What the hell do you want, Keller?
[RA]: I want to play a game with you!
[RA]: You know...
[RA]: The one where we get together and kill things...
[NA]: I don't have time for your inane fetishes Keller.
[RA]: Inane? Fetish? No no no! I wish to play Sburb!
[NA]: Whatever you call it, I shall not be involved.
[NA]: Besides, you already type at a snails pace, I shudder to think what your speed would be in a combat situation.
[RA]: D:
[RA]: I'm not worried. You'll join.
[RA]: I've seen it in the clouds.
[RA]: WOOOooooOOOO
[NA]: Why is it, Keller, that you got more vocal as our...
[NA]: Realtionship...
[NA]: Progressed?
[RA]: I hate meeting new people.
[RA]: People make me sick alot.
[NA]: At last, something we have in common. Goodbye, Keller.
[RA]: Wait!

newAce [NA] stopped pestering riskyArbiter [RA] at 12:44

Jack Keller clicked the chat window shut. He wasn't too angry, he knew Ace would play with him at some point. The clouds by Skia had said so. Jack used to never trust the clouds, but after he let slip the fact that he saw things in his dreams that seemed to come true often, His friend Alnya drew him aside and told him all about Skaia and Derse and all that neat stuff.
Jack was very childish, though he could rustle up a good 'adult' act, he only showed his more childish side to his close friends. And Ace, who was a bit of a dick but he was their dick so it was O.K.

Jack took a glance around his new room. He tended to renovate it every year or so, to reflect his ever-changing intrests. Right now it was all MSPaint Adventures, the documentary of the only version of Sburb yet to be played successfully. It was unfinished, but through chats with the stars, he had learned of their eventual success against the game itself, with the death of Lord English.
Or at least, so they liked to tell themselves, said Rose when prodded on details of the Big Bad. Rose was the most open one of them. Dave had a tendancy to block anyone who pestered him with fan-girlishness, and John was just... John. Jade wasn't capable of chatting anymore.
But today was a very bright day. The final release of Sburb was coming out, guaranteed NOT to destroy the planet earth, and all your friends who avoided the game. In fact, Jack had the box on his desk, opened, and the disk was hanging haphazardly- OH CRAP THE DISK!
Jack shot his arm out to nab the disk from it's precarious perch on the edge of his desk. It would turn out however, that this only made things worse, for Jack missed and sent the disk skidding along the tile floor of his computer room. He skittered over to it and checked the shiny, reflective side. After blowing on it a few times, the disk seemed only a little worse for wear, with one long, but mercifully shallow scratch running a hair-thin line around it in a semi-circle.
Jack placed the (almost) alright disk in his computer and clicked the install button. Windows popped up a box claiming that the creator of the software was unverified. Would Jack like to install anyways?
YES
Is Jack sure?
YES
Double mega ultra sure?
YESYESYESYESYESYESYES

Sburb began the install process, placing a massive spirograph motif on his computer. After the intall was done, a little black box popped up. Jack was ready for a server.

Narrator [N] has begun pestering forum [F]


[N]: Uh Oh...
[N]: >:)

EDIT BONUS!

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just beneath the spirograph
ever spinning
ever turning
the valley deep has made a mark
on he who deals in decks of cards

with white is black
and black is white
a Arbiter gets no sleep tonight
with spades and hearts
diamonds and clubs
two monarchs shall fall

a god is born
a god of death
the demon will soon find no breath
with no great evil
the game shall make one anew

the JACK of spades and JACK of hearts
the game takes on a new part
a part of blood
a part of death
from this deep dark they shall draw no breath
for with no light there is no seer
there is no fear
there is no life
there is only FROST

rose petals die on the water

This is not a poem...
It is nice and rythmical most of the way through though!

[Ledundead]

Forum grandioseLiberator [FGL] entered the memo at 5:57 PM
[FGL]: Uh, hello. You seem to h@ve sh@ttered your fourth w@ll.

[KarneWarrior]

That's O.K, I'll just nab a replacement from Jack.

[Metaflare]

So hey couple notes about End of the Trollian empire that people may or may not care to read so I'll spoiler them.

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The ending was originally gonna be Isishi hypnotizing the entire fleet into a deep sleep so none of them would feel the Vast Glub asploding their minds. All except her, who would face the death head on. But I figured that she wasn't THAT sympathetic of a person so

Then I tried a different ending. Pretty much the same thing, but instead of waiting for the end, she'd kamikaze the entire fleet onto the enemy stronghold. Then I thought "that just doesn't seem right. :\" And then I got the ending I wrote because hey, I've never written an inspiring speech before so why not?

Also, Isishi comes from Isis, goddess of egypt or something. And Venhem comes from venom. THE MORE YOU KNOW :mpsa: