Because I want and need to read more of these, and I also need SOMETHING to do to keep me occupied at school during spares, seeing as I barely have any homework this year.
There is an on-going effort to get all the fics moved to Archive of our Own I believe. Google that and look around and you'll be able to find a lot of fics. There's also the directory thread > here <. It's currently behind by like, 40 pages (my fault). But it has the first 90 pages of the first thread all directorized by alphabetical order. I imagine something like 500 fics by at least 100 people all up. Those are just random guesses on my part; could be more too. There has been a lot of writing though!
I think it's interesting that you said that there could be more than one planet that could be seeded. Makes you wonder what would happen if multiple planets were seeded at once.
I rather think you'd have to have more than one to keep the whole thing self-sustaining, given how many sessions fail. That or multiple sessions on one planet. Or both (It's possible that Earth could have produced multiple sessions given SBurb was an open beta there, but SGrub only seems to have been distributed to Sollux's social circle).
Because I want and need to read more of these, and I also need SOMETHING to do to keep me occupied at school during spares, seeing as I barely have any homework this year.
Over here is a thread with links to most of the last thread's fics.
The Esoteric Adventures of Zazzerpan the Learned, part eleven
The room was small and dark and smelled a bit like kerosene. Rose had been in a room like this recently. Things were different now, though. Now she was a prisoner.
After being taken from holding, Rose had been led down series of halls until she had finally been brought to this place. Officer Product was gone now, and she didn't think she'd see him again. The Sticks that had brought her in here had been a lot more rough than the others had been up to now. She was in Candles' hands, now.
Before when she had seen Candles it had been brief, and he had not spoken to her. Now his full attention was focused on her, and there was definitely something sinister about this Baize. He smiled constantly, but she could hear malice oozing from his every word. This was a man capable of great cruelty. He smoked constantly, seemingly for effect- most of his cigarettes burned all the way to his fingers (no filters) without him even remembering to take a drag from them. He had what had at first glance appeared to be a scruffy chin-beard, too, which confused Rose since none of the Baize she had seen had hair of any kind. On closer examination she could see that it was more like a dark-tinted carapace rash. Or maybe rash wasn't the right word... roughness. Where most carapace was smooth and shiny as polished steel, his chin and jawbone had the texture of brick. He wore a green and white business suit with a matching beret. The beret had the number 16 stitched into it professionally.
Candles had a very casual, friendly posture. He lit a new cigarette and smiled at Rose.
"Rose Lalonde. a.k.a., the Seer of Light, a.k.a. the Tentacle Therapist. I'm honored to meet you. Certainly not many living Destined end up in my realm. I'd say you're the first in a paradox space age."
Rose was silent.
"We met briefly, before, if I'm not mistaken. My apologies for my behavior at the time. I was rather busy and my underlings were proving themselves idiots. I hope that first impression doesn't reflect too negatively on me. I understand you've had a fairly pleasant stay so far. Have you been provided with adequate food and drink?"
Rose was silent. She had not, in fact, been provided any food or drink. Her photosynthesis was keeping her somewhat nourished, but by now it was obvious that it wasn't enough. She was desperately hungry, and she was pretty sure he knew it. Still. Nothing to be gained by revealing that little weakness.
"I understand if you don't want to talk. I've read your dossier. Says you have a lack of respect for authority stemming from resentment towards your mother." Candles shook his head sympathetically. "Would you agree with that diagnosis? Do you resent your mother, Rose?"
Rose was silent.
"We don't have mothers, we Felt. We have progenitors, and it isn't a very close relationship. More like a five-minute briefing to confirm the things we already know when we're popped. From what I hear, humans devote a lot more effort towards communication with their parents, don't they? Well. You don't have to answer that. Perhaps I'm being a bit too personal. I just find that a little bonding between prisoner and captor builds a stronger, more cooperative relationship. And you want to cooperate, don't you, Rose?"
Rose was silent.
"Of course you do. Oh, you don't want to talk now, and that's fine. You're a mature girl, and I'm sure you'll work through this patch of spite. But you'll cooperate. Because why wouldn't you? You don't want to be here, do you, Rose? You didn't want to be here. Someone else put you up to this, someone who would have a motive to disrupt our business. Certainly you have no reason to be here yourself! This is no place for living humans. No, not at all. You'll cooperate. And after all, there are things you want too, aren't there?
"I'd like to know to know what you want, Rose. Did you come quietly for the Witch? Do you want to bring her back to the realm of the living? It's not impossible. She wont live again, but you could have her back with you. I'm sure Dave would like that too. Dave misses Jade, doesn't he? You could have the whole, happy family again. It's no chitin off my olfactory receptor organ. Not like we have a shortage of human ghosts down here. All we need from you is a simple explanation of how you got here. That isn't unreasonable, is it? Rose?"
Rose was silent.
"Alright. You don't want to talk right now. That's fine. We can have this conversation later. I have all the time in the universe, Rose. You've come all this way and you must be tired. We'll discuss the matter in the morning. Before your next meal."
When two more Sticks entered the room to lead Rose out, she took careful note of Dave's room, still behind her and in the middle of a wall. Lyn was on Dave's computer. Still alive. Still looking anxious.
Don't leave that room, Lyn. I'm going to get you when I can.
"Maybe seeing your friend will improve your attitude," Candles said cheerfully, and Rose was removed from the room.
~
Rose was dumped into her cell unceremoniously, and she bruised her knee. This was a proper dungeon, the way they were depicted in movies. A real fortress dungeon. Cobblestone floors and walls, high ceilings, no internal lighting... and of course, open cell-blocks with nothing but bars between inmates. It was almost comically cliche, or it would have been if Rose wasn't trapped in it. She wished she had her wands. She looked behind her and stared at Dave's room. No way to make it to the door- even if she moved as far into her cell as she could, it never came closer than her cell door. No way to Lyn. No way to that soft bed.
She looked around, through the darkness, into the other cells. She had expected to find something here, and when she spotted it in the cell two doors down from hers, she wasn't even surprised.
It was Jade Harley, pretending to sleep. She was still wearing the same clothes Rose had always seen her in in pictures- baggy jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt that continually changed style. Her skin was smudged with dirt and marked with bruises, which for some reason seemed unsurprising.
What would it feel like, getting hit by a meteor? Would you be killed instantly? It would pick upa lot of heat, passing through the atmosphere... would the heat incinerate you before it even-
"Jade. It's me, Rose." And then, feeling kind of dumb: "are you awake?"
For a while Jade didn't respond. Rose began searching her cell for a loose pebble. There were plenty of them- this facility was in severe disrepair. She picked one up and threw it at Jade.
"Oww! Rose! What the hell!"
"You were pretending to sleep.
"Yeah, but... geez! That hurt!"
"Well... you were pretending to sleep. You weren't responding to words, so-"
"Whatever!" Jade stood up, shook her head, and moved to the far side of her cell. "Leave me alone, Rose! I don't want to talk to you!"
"Why not? Nepeta told me you'd changed, but... look, Jade, I've got a plan. If we-"
"Fuck off!"
Rose sat down, dismayed. It wasn't that Jade had anything against vulgar language (certainly not from the way she acted when Dave paid attention to her), but she rarely swore. Jade was either very angry, or... well, Rose couldn't think of any other interpretation right now.
She spread out on the cot at the far end of her cell and warcked her brains trying to think of a way to escape.
She fell asleep before she had an answer.
~
"Well. Do you feel much better, Rose? Did talking to your friend set you at ease? I do hope you're in the mood to talk a little bit more this session. We'll never make any progress if you can't improve your attitude."
Rose stared straight ahead. Her sleep had been an uneasy one, and she didn't have the patience to deal with her interrogator.
"Come on, Rose. I've been cooperative, haven't I? I let you get through Gate Customs. I've put helpful people in your path so you could find your way to me. And I haven't hurt you, yet. Am I really the one being unreasonable here?"
She had ignored his comments so far, but this she could not ignore. "I got shot."
"So you can speak. Good. At any rate, you can hardly blame my men for defending themselves, can you? Besides, you've already avenged yourself for that particular injury. If you'd spoken up sooner we could've provided medical attention."
"Mm."
"Rose. I don't care about your petty little broken session. In fact, my Lord wants you to continue your session, if possible. He still has designs for you. But this is my city, and I do care to know how a living human- a destined Seer, at that- gained access to it. And you will tell me, one way or the other."
"I don't really know how I got here."
"Are you protecting someone? Who would you even have to protect in this matter? If you tell me the truth, you are free to go. We have no reason to hold you, anyway."
Rose looked away, staring up at the ceiling as Candles waited for an answer. Finally, he sighed.
"I didn't want things to go this way, you know. I've been extremely reasonable. This could have gone so simply. But this matter poses a significant security risk. I'm going to have to use more extreme measures. Give me your hand, Rose."
Rose didn't move, and Candles nodded to the two Sticks guards. They came from behind Rose and roughly grabbed her right arm, pulling up the sleeve and slamming it to the table. She squirmed, trying to break their hold, but they held her in place. As she did, Candles opened a drawer in the table and pulled out an object. It was a bowl of what looked like hardened wax. Candles inhaled deeply from his cigarette and exhaled out on the bowl, and when the smoke had mostly cleared the wax had melted and was bubbling hot. Candles reached out with a metal spoon and took a big spoonful of hot wax.
"Stay still, Rose. This will hurt a little."
He poured the wax onto her outstretched hand, and she yelped with pain. She had intended to take it silently, but it hurt more than she had expected. As she was reeling from the pain of it, Candles punched down on her hand with some kind of metal device. As he withdrew, she saw that it was some kind of stamp. A strange pattern had been marked on her palm in wax, looking like a pyramid made of circles (five at the base, then four on the next level, and so on) with a larger circle above it. It reminded Rose of that movie, what was it, the sci-fi movie from the 90s with Kurt Russell... John would know the title...
"Now," Candles said, and the Sticks let go of her arm and returned to standing next to the door. "That didn't hurt too much, did it? Please don't touch the wax while it cools. If you pick at it you'll peel your skin off. Also, you'll make me mad and I might have to shoot you." He chuckled to show that she was supposed to believe he was joking, though they both were fully aware that he wasn't. "Now, Rose, I'm going to ask you some questions. I will expect answers to these questions. If I don't get answers, or if I' get answers I don't like, well, bad things will happen. Okay? Pretty simple. Are you ready?"
She didn't respond.
"Okay. Practice question. What is your name?"
"Rose Lalonde."
"Good. Excellent. And see, nothing bad has happened. Now. Tell me where Dave Strider is."
"The Land of Heat and Clockwork."
"Where is the cat?"
"...I have two cats. One is on the Land of Light and Rain."
"And the other?"
"Heat and Clockwork."
Now Candles leaned forward, and there was something greedy and murderous in his eyes. "Whose soul did you come to steal from my Lord?"
"The Witch of Space."
Candles shook his head, making a mournful "tsk, tsk, tsk" sound. "Rose. Rose. You were doing so well."
"I came for the Witch of Space! Jade Harley!"
"Now, we both know that isn't true," Candles said. He opened his drawer again and pulled out a tall candle, in a candlestick. He placed in the middle of the table, between himself and Rose. "It's a shame, but maybe this is for the best. Negative reinforcement is an important part of diplomatic negotiations." He cocked his head to the side, pretending to think. "Or perhaps I'm thinking of house-training a lusus. At any rate, this will hurt. More than a little."
He lit the candle, but he might as well have lit her on fire. Rose's body was wracked with a sudden indescribable burning agony. It was everywhere, all at once. She thrashed about in her chair with pain, and the Sticks came from behind to hold her in place. Later, she would try to recall how long it had taken before Candles had put a stop to it. Thirty seconds? A few minutes? Impossible to judge when every cell in your body begs for mercy. All she could know was that suddenly, it was over, all at once, and Candles was blowing smoke over a pinched wick.
"That was three months of your life," he said softly, with only a hint of a smile. "Burned away at both ends. Incredible, the amount of stress you humans subject yourselves to on a regular basis. I just made you feel all of it at once. You may find yourself slightly numb. That's a side effect that may last for a few hours. Or longer, if I have to do that again. I hope that wont be the case."
"Now. Let's continue."
~
"You shouldn't have come here," Jade said.
Rose stared. It was the first time Jade had talked to her since she'd come back from her last session with Candles. She could hardly feel the stone floor of the dungeon cell underneath her. Everything felt dulled.
"Why are you here? Why hasn't Dave reversed yet?"
Rose sighed. It looked like this conversation was happening now, whether she liked it or not. "I didn't have a choice in the matter, Jade. I was brought here against my will by forces that-"
"It's been weeks, Rose! Weeks, or months, or... I can't keep track of time in here, but it's been too long! We talked about what our plan would be, before the meteor hit! You and Dave told me you guys would do it! Why did you leave me here?
"That's..." Rose broke off. "We're trying to make as much progress as we could first. So that once Dave reversed, we could beat the game. It was necessary to get as far as we could."
Jade leaned her head against her cell bars, either unwilling or unable to look Rose in the eye. "And you figured I wasn't getting any deader."
"Jade..."
"That doesn't really bother me. Maybe a little bit, but... you didn't know we were waiting here for you. You didn't know we were suffering here." Now Jade looked up, and she looked more angry and hurt than she had ever seen her. "Except you did, because you summoned John."
"You had to have known there was an afterlife, because you summoned him away from it. It was okay, Rose! I was scared and he was scared but we were together and it was okay! And then he got a call from you, and you needed his help, so he left. And he never came back. Where's John, Rose?"
Rose wanted to tell her, but it felt like something was caught in her throat. The implications of what Jade was saying were too horrible to consider. John wasn't in the afterlife. And he still wasn't alive. Rose had known there were risks with the summoning; it was the main reason she and Dave had been reluctant to try it. But they'd had no choice, had they? They'd needed that code to beat that bastard of a Davesprite. "Jade, I- it was a difficult situation."
"What was a difficult situation? What did you do to him, Rose? Did you prototype my kernelsprite with him, or send him back in time, or, or, turn his ghost into grist, or... what? What did you do to him?! How difficult could the situation have been, that you lost John?"
"I didn't... I only had a tenuous grasp of the summoning spell. I knew it was risky, Jade, but... we needed his help. And he gave it to us; thanks to John we managed to save an entire array of alternate Daves and sort of... fix the timeline, a little. I'm sorry I summoned him without really knowing what I was doing, but we thought it was the only solution, and we didn't have time to-"
"What happened to him?! Where is he?! Just tell me that! I don't care if you had a choice, I want to know where you put my brother!"
"He's... I don't know for sure, Jade. I'm sorry. He was summoned through a shadow, and my magic is light-based. Maybe dismissing the summons... dissolved him."
Jade went limp. "So where is he? I-I mean you can't just, he can't be-"
"We'll have him back when we fix the timeline. I'm sorry, Jade. We didn't know you were waiting, or... anything like this. We're going to make everything right. You wont remember any of this. ...I wont either, I guess."
Jade rubbed the tears from her eyes. "He was so excited when he got the summons. He thought it was great that he could still help you guys. Especially you. He liked you, you know."
What could she say to that? "Jade. I need your help to get out of here."
"So why don't you just summon me and bind me to help you?!" Jade spat the words angrily, but then immediately softened. "I'm sorry, that wasn't- that didn't even make sense. I'm just, this place is so..."
"I know. And I'm going to try to get us out, but I need your help. The locals of the Table said you If you can warp space. If you can make a Gate back to the Medium, we can all escape back through it. Together."
"I can't do that, Rose!"
"You can't or you wont?"
"I can't! Maybe if I was higher on the echeladder, but... Rose, if I could make Gates I wouldn't be here!"
Rose's face fell. "Dave is stuck in a dream until I can get out of here. Until I can find my mother. Jaspers has been taking care of him, but it's only a temporary solution. If he doesn't wake up, he can't reverse. He cant fix the timeline. You were my only hope to breaking out of here."
"Then there is no hope. We'll be stuck here forever."
"It can't be that simple! You've seen the future, Jade! Is that how our session ends- with you and John dead and Dave and I in irreversible comas?"
"The clouds never told me John was going to die. Either they lied or it wasn't supposed to happen. I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm tired of this game. I tried so hard, Rose. All those years, trying to figure out what the things I saw in the clouds meant, and when they'd happen... and not being able to tell you guys what was going on, because I never knew enough to know for sure.
They were silent for a while, then Rose looked up. "Did you call John your brother?"
"He's supposed to be. It has to do with the game. I never learned all the details."
The game. It hadn't felt like a game for a long time, it seemed. Rose didn't know for sure how long she'd been in the Table, by now... every time she talked to Candles, the waking world seemed farther and farther away. "Jade, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired, even when I sleep. Did he do the thing to you, with the wax?"
"It doesn't work on the dead. But he's done it to others. Felt, and other prisoners. ...there used to be others in here. But they're all gone now." Jade curled up into a ball on the floor of her cell. "He'll kill you if you try to hold back."
"I know. I'm tired from it all. I don't know how much strength I have left."
"You need to figure out what he wants. You're the Seer, Rose. I wont pretend I believe in our destinies anymore, but that still means something."
"I don't feel like a Seer," Rose said. "The magic comes easily enough, but... I need the wands to use it, and the offensive magic is so much easier. You would've made a much better Seer." Rose didn't say it, but she couldn't help but think that she would've made a better Witch, too.
"You'll figure it out, Rose. You'll have to."
Rose wanted to ask more, but her thoughts wouldn't come together. Still thinking about how to beat Candles, she drifted asleep.
~
"Rose? Are you paying attention?"
"Mm?" Rose started awake. She was back in the interrogation room with Candles. When had she gotten here?
Candles sighed theatrically. "Perhaps these sessions are getting to be too much for you. Would a week's reprieve in your cell help you rest up enough?"
A week from now she'd surely be dead. Rose shook her head blearily. "My attention was just drifting. What... what was your question?"
"I asked you if you'd like a drink."
"A drink." The question seemed ridiculous to Rose, whose nerves were barely hanging on. How many sessions had she spent with Candles, now? She remembered... at least four, surely... maybe five? But everything seemed to blur together in here. Hadn't he started out asking questions about how she'd gotten here?
"Is that... the only thing you have left to ask...?"
Candles was already holding a bottle, and he poured himself a drink. "We worked past all the rest. Don't you remember?"
Rose shook her head, staring down at the table. Was he lying? She couldn't tell. She just didn't remember. Everything seemed to be crumbling away.
"You already answered most of my questions, anyway. What you didn't tell me I managed to figure out." He sipped an amber liquid from a highball glass, labeled on the bottle as UNCLE JULIUS' CHURCH-TYME SIPPING BOURBON. "But I keep finding excuses for us to spend time together."
Rose nodded. She felt like she was being led to something. She closed her eyes. She wasn't truly blind, as Tiresias was, but she was a Seer in the land of the dead, and that had to count for something. I don't believe in destiny, either, but I know there's a way out of this. If I had more light...
But with eyes closed, one cannot see the light. She smiled, and let light flow through her mind, illuminating the future.
"So is that a yes? Do you want a drink?"
"Candles," she said, her eyes still closed, "why don't you tell me about yourself?"
She opened her eyes. She had to, to see his reaction. Candles was staring at her, puzzled. "What's that?"
"You know so much about me, but I don't know anything about you. Or the Table at all, really. Who are you Baize? Where did you come from? Who is the Lord you all make reference to?"
"That's not really your business." Candles flicked his cigarette, but he still looked confused. "What's a Baize?"
"That's what I call you green people."
"Well... stop it."
"What about yourself? How'd you come to be in charge of this city? Were you created for the job, or were you hired?"
"I don't like to talk about that."
"Well, if we don't have anything else to talk about..."
"I used to be part of a gang, on another planet. Not my home planet. A place that was once called Alternia. Our gang was established to... destabilize another group and provide a foothold, so to speak."
"What happened to the gang?"
"Nothing. They're still out there, as far as I know."
"Then why aren't you?"
This was the question she'd been leading to, and Rose had to make serious effort not to smile. Candles looked visibly agitated. She thought she heard a creaking, snapping sound somewhere... the floodgates, straining. About to break.
"I was in charge, do you understand? Me and Crowbar, we ran the Felt. I made the plans. He gave the orders. And we were good. Really good. And then she came. And she. Ruined. Everything."
"All of the sudden the Doc is talking to her in private. Suddenly he's taking me aside and talking about reassignment." Candles was shaking with rage, his fingers quivering so much that it looked like he would snap his cigarette in two. "Says my talents can be put to better use for the Lord as an administrator. So they send me here. Set me up as the big cheese of the Table, give me a pretty title. But I know. And everyone else knows. That I've been fired from the Felt. They don't need sixteen guys. And they replace me with that... that Dersite. That exile."
His voice raised an octave. "I should have been Snowman! I was twice the agent that bitch was! Before I came to Alternia, there were no "Felt"! The Midnight Crew ran everything! We had nothing and we took what we needed! Where was the Doc and his precious Quasiroyal at the Pharaoh's Monolith Shoot-out?! Where were they when Droog got the jump on Stitch and we had to rescue him?! WHERE WAS THAT BACKSTABBING WHITE-HEADED SONUVABITCH WHEN WE RAIDED PACIFIC CITY WITH NOTHING BUT OUR LORD-GIVEN TIME POWERS AND A SHAKEN CAN OF MOXIE?!"
"I EARNED MY PLACE ON THAT TEAM, D'YOU UNDERSTAND?!" Candles was enraged now, waving his cigarette around like a weapon. "I DIDN'T SPEND ALL THOSE LONG NIGHTS PORING OVER BLUEPRINTS OF SPADES SLICK'S DAMNED CASINOS SO I COULD HAND OVER MY PLACE TO THAT DERSITE HARPY! AND WHAT DO I GET FOR IT?! DROPPED OFF IN THIS MISERABLE NETHERPLANE AND PATRONIZED TO BY GRUBSUCKING BOTTOMFEEDERS WHO THINK THEY KNOW HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN!" He threw the smoldering stub that was all that remained of his cigarette at the floor and immediately lit another one, seething with rage and breathing heavily.
There was a silence between them as Candles recovered from his outburst. This is it, Rose realized. This was her chance, if she had one at all. This moment was what she had provoked him for. If she said the wrong thing this insane green man might kill her, but if she let this moment pass she would surely waste away in this place until her death. As would Dave, and whatever remained of Jade's spirit. She had to strike now. She chose her words carefully and said:
"And how did that make you feel?"
Candles stared at her. "What."
"How did that make you feel... having your boss replace you with... this woman?"
There was no rage in his voice now. If anything, the Baize sounded sullen, like a sulking child. "Felt unappreciated. Of course. Anyone would feel unappreciated. Perfectly executed heists don't just happen. Not with that crew anyway. And they acted like I was replaceable. After all that work, no recognition. What would you have done?"
He had given her a dangerous opening there, Rose knew. But she would take it, trap or not. "Well, perhaps I'm just a petty child with lack of respect for authority stemming from resentment towards my mother... but I would have taken revenge."
"Revenge." Candles laughed bitterly. "Like there was anything I could do to the Doc."
"What about the woman?"
Candles was silent for a long period of time, and Rose was worried she'd made a tactical misstep. Did he harbor some kind of twisted attraction to the woman that had taken his job? She didn't have enough time or resources to really analyze his internal motives. If she was wrong...
But she wasn't. "Yeah. I didn't do anything, but... yeah. I would've liked to see something happen to Snowman."
"So why didn't you do anything?"
"I don't know." He was lying, but Rose couldn't tell why.
"I think you're manipulating me," Rose said. "I think you know what I'm doing here, and how I got here. I think you told me about yourself so I would start asking questions. I think you want to offer me a job."
Candles rubbed his chin. "Maybe I do. Could you handle it, if I did?"
"It depends on what I'd be paid for it."
"What if I told you you could walk out of this place and return to your session, no strings attached? You can take the little girl with you, and your mother. And Jade. That's what you want, isn't it? For you to all go home free. You don't want your friends and family in the hands of the minions of the Furthest Ring."
"Yes. I want that."
"Then it looks like we have a deal, doesn't it?" Candles stretched out his hand to Rose for her to shake. "You will be released to assassinate Snowman. And in return, you and your friends will be free to go. As a courtesy, I'll even settle your debt with whatever idiot wizard got you here. Free of charge."
They shook hands.
"She'll be dead by this time tomorrow."
I've been waiting to write this part for a long time, partly because the revelation about John kind of casts the events of Shenanigans in a new light, but mostly because Candles is fun to write. Writing it was really tough, though, and I'm not sure it's turned out quite the way I wanted, but... eh. I've spent so much time on this part that if I put it off any more I don't think I'll ever post anything. This will have to be good enough.
PS: If any Felt fan would like to draw Candles that would be so cool.
PaulPower: I adore your mythology write-up. But the thought of the Kids going around seeding planets makes me shudder. Even if it is the way that universes procreate, I'm not ready to forgive Sburb for all the suffering it causes, and I'm still rather hoping they end up smashing things up.
BPrinny: Nothing particularly interesting, I'd imagine, given the way Sburb works. Separate sessions, separate "bandicoots," separate created universes (assuming victory, which is never a safe assumption).
PaulPower: I adore your mythology write-up. But the thought of the Kids going around seeding planets makes me shudder. Even if it is the way that universes procreate, I'm not ready to forgive Sburb for all the suffering it causes, and I'm still rather hoping they end up smashing things up.
Thanks. Yeah, fair enough, like I say it was a bit of an AU thing where the Kids actually do end up winning conventionally. Would be cool if the Kids did find a way to stop the cycle of destruction.
Maybe Rose is actually doing the worlds of this universe a favour at the end in the alternate ending I posted a couple of posts later .
DERP DERP Ruka writes some stuff. 8| Prompts "cheater" and "paranoia" are mildly AU-ish.
neutral
It was hard to get angry at Scratch, if only for the fact that he never was angry. It was hard to tell if he felt anything; the giant cue ball that served as his head was completely devoid of any facial feature. It unnerved most of the Felt members, really, when they saw him; most tended to avoid him.
(Clover, however, just giggled and indulged what was apparently a suicidal tendency by scrawling faces on the blank ball whenever he got a chance, and made sure it would take a while to wash off. Somehow, he hadn't died by electrocution yet. )
mentors and students
Jack and Karkat were not friends. They would not even class themselves as close acquaintances.
However, they learned things from each other; from Jack, Karkat picked up the finer points of bloody murder, and from Karkat and the rest of the odd band he led, Jack learned the meaning of a certain troll disease called friendship.
They taught and learned from one another; a mutual arrangement they didn't completely realise they had.
However, despite that, it worked surprisingly well.
cheater
"Itchy?"
The younger man simply grinned and fanned his cards out with the steady gaze of the true liar - if nothing else, the man had a talent for being able to make people believe in whatever he made up, despite his jitters and the drugs he had to take - and leaned back in his chair, propping one foot up on the table as he easily found the point between falling over backwards and sitting properly (some habit learned as a child, no doubt).
"Yeah? What's up?"
If Die was someone prone to any strong emotion besides relative apathy, he would have possibly twitched. As it was, he just settled for a sigh and adjusted a pin in his top hat, holding his cards close to his chest.
"You really need to understand something, Itchy."
"Uh-huh." The older man could already see Itchy was getting bored with the conversation, eyes wandering - no, wandering was too slow a word, it was more like his eyes flicked from one point to another - and decided to raise the stakes a bit.
His hand was a blur of motion for a second, and then a needle neatly punctured the middle card in the fan the other was holding, stopping just short of actually touching any body part.
It was almost amazing how focused Itchy became about a second afterward. Sharp objects did wonderful things for drawing attention.
"What you really need to understand," Die continued mildly, as if he hadn't just almost punctured the other man, "is that the aim of most games is to follow the rules and win that way, not by cheating."
He didn't look up from his cards, but his tone turned to ice.
"And I really don't tolerate cheating."
"...Uh-huh. Yep. Got it."
After that little incident, Die was mildly amused to see that whenever he was around, Itchy improved his game significantly.
paranoia
"Where the hell is he?"
"Are you even sure--"
"Damn right I'm sure!"
This pair of guards was on edge. Nervous. They'd heard one of the Felt was wandering around here tonight, trying to get into the complex so they could steal some data - something like that.
There was a rustle in the bushes, and one of them spun around to face it, slowly approaching it like it was a bomb about to go off, and poked the tip of his gun into it. Behind him, his partner grunted, and there was a thud.
Nothing there. He sighed in relief, turned, and met a bloodied axe violently coming the other way, the wielder having neatly dispatched the other man on duty in about five seconds.
The last thing he heard before another blow put him out for good was a sinister little giggle.
---------
"Clover. How hard is it. To go in there, get what we need, get out, and not kill anyone."
Clover tried his best to look innocent. And by god, he was good at it - he had people fooled right until he brought out the axe he always carried around and gave any enemy around him a severe case of missing limbs, and in most cases heads. He was a quick little bastard too, which just complicated things - you could never really stop him from doing anything, because he was almost as fast as Itchy and twice as cunning.
"But I did get what I was asked to get," the smaller man said cheerfully. (And that was another thing; he was always smiling. He never stopped. If Clover stopped smiling, anyone on the receiving end was in very big trouble.)
Crowbar sighed and pressed on nevertheless, painfully aware of the fact that they'd had this talk a thousand times.
"I know you did. But you also killed half the guards in the damn complex. Do you have no idea of self control?"
"Of course I do! But it's so much more boring that way."
Crowbar left it at that and dismissed the other man. It wasn't even twelve yet, and he could already feel the beginnings of a headache.
>You see a LINK.
>Click LINK.
>Upon clicking the LINK, you are redirected to a DEVIANTART ACCOUNT. What a STRANGE THING.
DERP DERP Ruka writes some stuff. 8| Prompts "cheater" and "paranoia" are mildly AU-ish.
neutral
It was hard to get angry at Scratch, if only for the fact that he never was angry. It was hard to tell if he felt anything; the giant cue ball that served as his head was completely devoid of any facial feature. It unnerved most of the Felt members, really, when they saw him; most tended to avoid him.
(Clover, however, just giggled and indulged what was apparently a suicidal tendency by scrawling faces on the blank ball whenever he got a chance, and made sure it would take a while to wash off. Somehow, he hadn't died by electrocution yet. )
mentors and students
Jack and Karkat were not friends. They would not even class themselves as close acquaintances.
However, they learned things from each other; from Jack, Karkat picked up the finer points of bloody murder, and from Karkat and the rest of the odd band he led, Jack learned the meaning of a certain troll disease called friendship.
They taught and learned from one another; a mutual arrangement they didn't completely realise they had.
However, despite that, it worked surprisingly well.
cheater
"Itchy?"
The younger man simply grinned and fanned his cards out with the steady gaze of the true liar - if nothing else, the man had a talent for being able to make people believe in whatever he made up, despite his jitters and the drugs he had to take - and leaned back in his chair, propping one foot up on the table as he easily found the point between falling over backwards and sitting properly (some habit learned as a child, no doubt).
"Yeah? What's up?"
If Die was someone prone to any strong emotion besides relative apathy, he would have possibly twitched. As it was, he just settled for a sigh and adjusted a pin in his top hat, holding his cards close to his chest.
"You really need to understand something, Itchy."
"Uh-huh." The older man could already see Itchy was getting bored with the conversation, eyes wandering - no, wandering was too slow a word, it was more like his eyes flicked from one point to another - and decided to raise the stakes a bit.
His hand was a blur of motion for a second, and then a needle neatly punctured the middle card in the fan the other was holding, stopping just short of actually touching any body part.
It was almost amazing how focused Itchy became about a second afterward. Sharp objects did wonderful things for drawing attention.
"What you really need to understand," Die continued mildly, as if he hadn't just almost punctured the other man, "is that the aim of most games is to follow the rules and win that way, not by cheating."
He didn't look up from his cards, but his tone turned to ice.
"And I really don't tolerate cheating."
"...Uh-huh. Yep. Got it."
After that little incident, Die was mildly amused to see that whenever he was around, Itchy improved his game significantly.
paranoia
"Where the hell is he?"
"Are you even sure--"
"Damn right I'm sure!"
This pair of guards was on edge. Nervous. They'd heard one of the Felt was wandering around here tonight, trying to get into the complex so they could steal some data - something like that.
There was a rustle in the bushes, and one of them spun around to face it, slowly approaching it like it was a bomb about to go off, and poked the tip of his gun into it. Behind him, his partner grunted, and there was a thud.
Nothing there. He sighed in relief, turned, and met a bloodied axe violently coming the other way, the wielder having neatly dispatched the other man on duty in about five seconds.
The last thing he heard before another blow put him out for good was a sinister little giggle.
---------
"Clover. How hard is it. To go in there, get what we need, get out, and not kill anyone."
Clover tried his best to look innocent. And by god, he was good at it - he had people fooled right until he brought out the axe he always carried around and gave any enemy around him a severe case of missing limbs, and in most cases heads. He was a quick little bastard too, which just complicated things - you could never really stop him from doing anything, because he was almost as fast as Itchy and twice as cunning.
"But I did get what I was asked to get," the smaller man said cheerfully. (And that was another thing; he was always smiling. He never stopped. If Clover stopped smiling, anyone on the receiving end was in very big trouble.)
Crowbar sighed and pressed on nevertheless, painfully aware of the fact that they'd had this talk a thousand times.
"I know you did. But you also killed half the guards in the damn complex. Do you have no idea of self control?"
"Of course I do! But it's so much more boring that way."
Crowbar left it at that and dismissed the other man. It wasn't even twelve yet, and he could already feel the beginnings of a headache.
Yessssssssss oh my god Clover being a crazy axe murderer is HILARIOUS
So it turns out what's good for my RL is bad for my fandom time. Specifically, this short fic was meant to be a testbed for an art style I want to try animating, but since I'm now overwhelmed with other stuff, I figured I might as well get it out while it's still relevant.
Flash and a Clatter
With a flash and a clatter, the four of them landed face first on the floor of the Alternian session’s laboratory. Righting themselves (Dave righting Jade manually, as she had reflexively taken her horizontal position as another excuse to catch up on about eight years of lost sleep as was becoming a bad habit), they took a look around. John immediately noticed that, by the looks of things, this was where their friends from another dimension had been paradoxically spat into existence, similar in makeup to the room in their own session. Each of the vats in the place had been retrofitted to produce quantities of the Troll’s sopor slime, as, down to one life, everyone that slept returned immediately to their genetic bad dreams. Other than the churning of the sopor machines, the room was silent and empty, at least until he walked in.
“Karkat!” John said with a start. “Wow, I was starting to think we were in the wrong universe. Wouldn’t that have been embarrassing?”
The troll stopped and looked the four of them up and down with astonishment. John imagined how he felt from the look on his face – he might have been able to see them for the past few months, but actually being in the same room as an alien for the first time was something else entirely. Rose and Dave looked much the same, while Jade was drifting off again on her feet and he was trying to make up for it out of sheer enthusiasm.
“We’re all ready to go, the minute you want us out. I mean, sure, we’d like to meet everyone and say hi but if we’ve gotta go we’re gonna kick some demon ass, heh, you know?”
His partner in the conversation did not reply at first. Something, he thought. Is not right here. He tried to take John in in more detail as if that would give him the answer.
“…Oh,” John said, edging closer. “I don’t know if you quite remember, but you and I just had our first conversation from your point of view. You know, where I thought you were feeling…” He cast a look over his shoulder to make sure the others – Rose snapping her fingers to keep Jade awake – were not listening. “When I thought you might be feeling blackrom feelings for me? I’m still feeling bad about that. I mean, both that I made the mistake and that you don’t, because you’re a pretty cool guy and I think we’re going to be a good team! Anyway, no hard feelings, right?”
Wait, though the Troll as his brain clunked into gear and hit on what had been bothering him. WhY iS tHiS pInK iMp TaLkInG tO mE?
“Marquise!” John jumped to his feet and turned to the door, where Nepeta jumped a foot with a yelp, and John bowed deeply. “I should have recognized you in your... uh..." Even he did not seem all that sure about this one, but if you're going to put your foot in your mouth it might as well go the whole way. "...ceremonial garb.”
Nepeta looked down at herself, at first wondering if this meant she was supposed to extract her foot from out of the trenchcoat edge caught under it, and realized that she was still carrying the plush jingle squirrel Tavros had given her. She dropped it and kicked it to the side not at all surreptitiously, before anyone else could realize just how far she had fallen in isolation.
“Marquise,” John said again, “I don’t think you’ve had the pleasure of meeting my friends. This is Rose, our Seer of Light, Dave, our Knight of Time, and… uh… Jade. Witch of Space.”
Nepeta’s hands tapped together nervously, eyes flicked back and forth between John and Gamzee, neither providing her with the answer she sought, until they suddenly lit up with euphoric glee. Reaching up, she swept off her hat and stuffed it into a pocket, pulling down a part of her hair cloaked across her right eye. “Perfect,” she said. A captchalogued apple bounced up and down in her hand for want of an eight-ball and she spoke with such a sterling Vriska impression that Gamzee almost checked the chill running up his verticalmost structure-support bone.
“Good to see you, John, really, certain people didn’t think you were going to make it here in one piece. Rose, charmed. And you’re the one responsible for this mess in the first place?” she said to Jade, lifting her chin to look her in the eyes. Gamzee had to admire their naivety: no one in the lab would dare let Vriska look them in the eyes since she had got her eightfold vision back. “And you,” she said to the last. “Dave. Knight of Time. I should warn you: I had a 8ad experience with our ‘of Time.’” And then she smiled, pulling her teeth back to give Vriska’s toothier grin. “But you’re interesting.” She set her hand on his chin as well, not at all in the simple inquisitive way she had Jade. She ran her tongue out to coax around one of her fangs and, though he could not see his eyes past the shades, Gamzee finally saw the look of mounting fear he had long been expecting run across his face.
Nepeta laughed, Vriska’s horrible lingering cackle, and turned to saunter toward the sopor as though she had reason to do so. “8etter 8e careful, red8lood,” she said. “8ad things happen to people who interest me.”
Back still to them, she reached out her hand and crushed the apple, it vanishing as she did into her deck, and she used the empty hand to point them toward the door.
"...yeah..." John said. "...we should probably be..." And they left at the double.
She stayed there, Gamzee watching them leave in a perturbed shock, and turn off to the left. At last, seeing they were gone, Nepeta came up to him, tiny fists held before her, shaking with glee.
“:33 < oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my GOD!!” she squealed at a whisper. “Did you see that? Did you see their faces? Oh my god, I got to be Vriska!” She clapped her fists together at the knuckle, but then stopped and composed herself, back straight, adjusting her hair with her hand. “I… I mean, I got to be the Marquise Spinneret Mindfang!” But she could not control herself and squealed aloud, shaking from head to toe. “:33 < gamz33, nobody’s played with me in so long! I’ve been so bored. Did they go to Karkat? No? Will you keep them from Karkat? Just for like, five minutes. And the real Vriska. ...Holy crap, seriously keep away the real Vriska. Pleeeeeeeeeeease?”
“Uh… sure, kitty, whatever you say.”
“Yes! Yes yes yes! Okay, okay.” She composed herself. “:33 < *the marquise is getting ready for her big entrance. poised, ready for any--* Do we have a throne?”
“A what?” Gamzee said, having partially forgotten what was going on and starting to walk out.
“A throne. A big fancy chair.”
“Haha, no.”
“Can we make one?”
“FuCk, PrObAbLy.”
And Nepeta squealed with joy at a level only cats and fans can hear.
Last edited by SkaianRedeemer; 09-27-2010 at 08:39 PM.
The Esoteric Adventures of Zazzerpan the Learned, part eleven
The room was small and dark and smelled a bit like kerosene. Rose had been in a room like this recently. Things were different now, though. Now she was a prisoner.
After being taken from holding, Rose had been led down series of halls until she had finally been brought to this place. Officer Product was gone now, and she didn't think she'd see him again. The Sticks that had brought her in here had been a lot more rough than the others had been up to now. She was in Candles' hands, now.
Before when she had seen Candles it had been brief, and he had not spoken to her. Now his full attention was focused on her, and there was definitely something sinister about this Baize. He smiled constantly, but she could hear malice oozing from his every word. This was a man capable of great cruelty. He smoked constantly, seemingly for effect- most of his cigarettes burned all the way to his fingers (no filters) without him even remembering to take a drag from them. He had what had at first glance appeared to be a scruffy chin-beard, too, which confused Rose since none of the Baize she had seen had hair of any kind. On closer examination she could see that it was more like a dark-tinted carapace rash. Or maybe rash wasn't the right word... roughness. Where most carapace was smooth and shiny as polished steel, his chin and jawbone had the texture of brick. He wore a green and white business suit with a matching beret. The beret had the number 16 stitched into it professionally.
Candles had a very casual, friendly posture. He lit a new cigarette and smiled at Rose.
"Rose Lalonde. a.k.a., the Seer of Light, a.k.a. the Tentacle Therapist. I'm honored to meet you. Certainly not many living Destined end up in my realm. I'd say you're the first in a paradox space age."
Rose was silent.
"We met briefly, before, if I'm not mistaken. My apologies for my behavior at the time. I was rather busy and my underlings were proving themselves idiots. I hope that first impression doesn't reflect too negatively on me. I understand you've had a fairly pleasant stay so far. Have you been provided with adequate food and drink?"
Rose was silent. She had not, in fact, been provided any food or drink. Her photosynthesis was keeping her somewhat nourished, but by now it was obvious that it wasn't enough. She was desperately hungry, and she was pretty sure he knew it. Still. Nothing to be gained by revealing that little weakness.
"I understand if you don't want to talk. I've read your dossier. Says you have a lack of respect for authority stemming from resentment towards your mother." Candles shook his head sympathetically. "Would you agree with that diagnosis? Do you resent your mother, Rose?"
Rose was silent.
"We don't have mothers, we Felt. We have progenitors, and it isn't a very close relationship. More like a five-minute briefing to confirm the things we already know when we're popped. From what I hear, humans devote a lot more effort towards communication with their parents, don't they? Well. You don't have to answer that. Perhaps I'm being a bit too personal. I just find that a little bonding between prisoner and captor builds a stronger, more cooperative relationship. And you want to cooperate, don't you, Rose?"
Rose was silent.
"Of course you do. Oh, you don't want to talk now, and that's fine. You're a mature girl, and I'm sure you'll work through this patch of spite. But you'll cooperate. Because why wouldn't you? You don't want to be here, do you, Rose? You didn't want to be here. Someone else put you up to this, someone who would have a motive to disrupt our business. Certainly you have no reason to be here yourself! This is no place for living humans. No, not at all. You'll cooperate. And after all, there are things you want too, aren't there?
"I'd like to know to know what you want, Rose. Did you come quietly for the Witch? Do you want to bring her back to the realm of the living? It's not impossible. She wont live again, but you could have her back with you. I'm sure Dave would like that too. Dave misses Jade, doesn't he? You could have the whole, happy family again. It's no chitin off my olfactory receptor organ. Not like we have a shortage of human ghosts down here. All we need from you is a simple explanation of how you got here. That isn't unreasonable, is it? Rose?"
Rose was silent.
"Alright. You don't want to talk right now. That's fine. We can have this conversation later. I have all the time in the universe, Rose. You've come all this way and you must be tired. We'll discuss the matter in the morning. Before your next meal."
When two more Sticks entered the room to lead Rose out, she took careful note of Dave's room, still behind her and in the middle of a wall. Lyn was on Dave's computer. Still alive. Still looking anxious.
Don't leave that room, Lyn. I'm going to get you when I can.
"Maybe seeing your friend will improve your attitude," Candles said cheerfully, and Rose was removed from the room.
~
Rose was dumped into her cell unceremoniously, and she bruised her knee. This was a proper dungeon, the way they were depicted in movies. A real fortress dungeon. Cobblestone floors and walls, high ceilings, no internal lighting... and of course, open cell-blocks with nothing but bars between inmates. It was almost comically cliche, or it would have been if Rose wasn't trapped in it. She wished she had her wands. She looked behind her and stared at Dave's room. No way to make it to the door- even if she moved as far into her cell as she could, it never came closer than her cell door. No way to Lyn. No way to that soft bed.
She looked around, through the darkness, into the other cells. She had expected to find something here, and when she spotted it in the cell two doors down from hers, she wasn't even surprised.
It was Jade Harley, pretending to sleep. She was still wearing the same clothes Rose had always seen her in in pictures- baggy jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt that continually changed style. Her skin was smudged with dirt and marked with bruises, which for some reason seemed unsurprising.
What would it feel like, getting hit by a meteor? Would you be killed instantly? It would pick upa lot of heat, passing through the atmosphere... would the heat incinerate you before it even-
"Jade. It's me, Rose." And then, feeling kind of dumb: "are you awake?"
For a while Jade didn't respond. Rose began searching her cell for a loose pebble. There were plenty of them- this facility was in severe disrepair. She picked one up and threw it at Jade.
"Oww! Rose! What the hell!"
"You were pretending to sleep.
"Yeah, but... geez! That hurt!"
"Well... you were pretending to sleep. You weren't responding to words, so-"
"Whatever!" Jade stood up, shook her head, and moved to the far side of her cell. "Leave me alone, Rose! I don't want to talk to you!"
"Why not? Nepeta told me you'd changed, but... look, Jade, I've got a plan. If we-"
"Fuck off!"
Rose sat down, dismayed. It wasn't that Jade had anything against vulgar language (certainly not from the way she acted when Dave paid attention to her), but she rarely swore. Jade was either very angry, or... well, Rose couldn't think of any other interpretation right now.
She spread out on the cot at the far end of her cell and warcked her brains trying to think of a way to escape.
She fell asleep before she had an answer.
~
"Well. Do you feel much better, Rose? Did talking to your friend set you at ease? I do hope you're in the mood to talk a little bit more this session. We'll never make any progress if you can't improve your attitude."
Rose stared straight ahead. Her sleep had been an uneasy one, and she didn't have the patience to deal with her interrogator.
"Come on, Rose. I've been cooperative, haven't I? I let you get through Gate Customs. I've put helpful people in your path so you could find your way to me. And I haven't hurt you, yet. Am I really the one being unreasonable here?"
She had ignored his comments so far, but this she could not ignore. "I got shot."
"So you can speak. Good. At any rate, you can hardly blame my men for defending themselves, can you? Besides, you've already avenged yourself for that particular injury. If you'd spoken up sooner we could've provided medical attention."
"Mm."
"Rose. I don't care about your petty little broken session. In fact, my Lord wants you to continue your session, if possible. He still has designs for you. But this is my city, and I do care to know how a living human- a destined Seer, at that- gained access to it. And you will tell me, one way or the other."
"I don't really know how I got here."
"Are you protecting someone? Who would you even have to protect in this matter? If you tell me the truth, you are free to go. We have no reason to hold you, anyway."
Rose looked away, staring up at the ceiling as Candles waited for an answer. Finally, he sighed.
"I didn't want things to go this way, you know. I've been extremely reasonable. This could have gone so simply. But this matter poses a significant security risk. I'm going to have to use more extreme measures. Give me your hand, Rose."
Rose didn't move, and Candles nodded to the two Sticks guards. They came from behind Rose and roughly grabbed her right arm, pulling up the sleeve and slamming it to the table. She squirmed, trying to break their hold, but they held her in place. As she did, Candles opened a drawer in the table and pulled out an object. It was a bowl of what looked like hardened wax. Candles inhaled deeply from his cigarette and exhaled out on the bowl, and when the smoke had mostly cleared the wax had melted and was bubbling hot. Candles reached out with a metal spoon and took a big spoonful of hot wax.
"Stay still, Rose. This will hurt a little."
He poured the wax onto her outstretched hand, and she yelped with pain. She had intended to take it silently, but it hurt more than she had expected. As she was reeling from the pain of it, Candles punched down on her hand with some kind of metal device. As he withdrew, she saw that it was some kind of stamp. A strange pattern had been marked on her palm in wax, looking like a pyramid made of circles (five at the base, then four on the next level, and so on) with a larger circle above it. It reminded Rose of that movie, what was it, the sci-fi movie from the 90s with Kurt Russell... John would know the title...
"Now," Candles said, and the Sticks let go of her arm and returned to standing next to the door. "That didn't hurt too much, did it? Please don't touch the wax while it cools. If you pick at it you'll peel your skin off. Also, you'll make me mad and I might have to shoot you." He chuckled to show that she was supposed to believe he was joking, though they both were fully aware that he wasn't. "Now, Rose, I'm going to ask you some questions. I will expect answers to these questions. If I don't get answers, or if I' get answers I don't like, well, bad things will happen. Okay? Pretty simple. Are you ready?"
She didn't respond.
"Okay. Practice question. What is your name?"
"Rose Lalonde."
"Good. Excellent. And see, nothing bad has happened. Now. Tell me where Dave Strider is."
"The Land of Heat and Clockwork."
"Where is the cat?"
"...I have two cats. One is on the Land of Light and Rain."
"And the other?"
"Heat and Clockwork."
Now Candles leaned forward, and there was something greedy and murderous in his eyes. "Whose soul did you come to steal from my Lord?"
"The Witch of Space."
Candles shook his head, making a mournful "tsk, tsk, tsk" sound. "Rose. Rose. You were doing so well."
"I came for the Witch of Space! Jade Harley!"
"Now, we both know that isn't true," Candles said. He opened his drawer again and pulled out a tall candle, in a candlestick. He placed in the middle of the table, between himself and Rose. "It's a shame, but maybe this is for the best. Negative reinforcement is an important part of diplomatic negotiations." He cocked his head to the side, pretending to think. "Or perhaps I'm thinking of house-training a lusus. At any rate, this will hurt. More than a little."
He lit the candle, but he might as well have lit her on fire. Rose's body was wracked with a sudden indescribable burning agony. It was everywhere, all at once. She thrashed about in her chair with pain, and the Sticks came from behind to hold her in place. Later, she would try to recall how long it had taken before Candles had put a stop to it. Thirty seconds? A few minutes? Impossible to judge when every cell in your body begs for mercy. All she could know was that suddenly, it was over, all at once, and Candles was blowing smoke over a pinched wick.
"That was three months of your life," he said softly, with only a hint of a smile. "Burned away at both ends. Incredible, the amount of stress you humans subject yourselves to on a regular basis. I just made you feel all of it at once. You may find yourself slightly numb. That's a side effect that may last for a few hours. Or longer, if I have to do that again. I hope that wont be the case."
"Now. Let's continue."
~
"You shouldn't have come here," Jade said.
Rose stared. It was the first time Jade had talked to her since she'd come back from her last session with Candles. She could hardly feel the stone floor of the dungeon cell underneath her. Everything felt dulled.
"Why are you here? Why hasn't Dave reversed yet?"
Rose sighed. It looked like this conversation was happening now, whether she liked it or not. "I didn't have a choice in the matter, Jade. I was brought here against my will by forces that-"
"It's been weeks, Rose! Weeks, or months, or... I can't keep track of time in here, but it's been too long! We talked about what our plan would be, before the meteor hit! You and Dave told me you guys would do it! Why did you leave me here?
"That's..." Rose broke off. "We're trying to make as much progress as we could first. So that once Dave reversed, we could beat the game. It was necessary to get as far as we could."
Jade leaned her head against her cell bars, either unwilling or unable to look Rose in the eye. "And you figured I wasn't getting any deader."
"Jade..."
"That doesn't really bother me. Maybe a little bit, but... you didn't know we were waiting here for you. You didn't know we were suffering here." Now Jade looked up, and she looked more angry and hurt than she had ever seen her. "Except you did, because you summoned John."
"You had to have known there was an afterlife, because you summoned him away from it. It was okay, Rose! I was scared and he was scared but we were together and it was okay! And then he got a call from you, and you needed his help, so he left. And he never came back. Where's John, Rose?"
Rose wanted to tell her, but it felt like something was caught in her throat. The implications of what Jade was saying were too horrible to consider. John wasn't in the afterlife. And he still wasn't alive. Rose had known there were risks with the summoning; it was the main reason she and Dave had been reluctant to try it. But they'd had no choice, had they? They'd needed that code to beat that bastard of a Davesprite. "Jade, I- it was a difficult situation."
"What was a difficult situation? What did you do to him, Rose? Did you prototype my kernelsprite with him, or send him back in time, or, or, turn his ghost into grist, or... what? What did you do to him?! How difficult could the situation have been, that you lost John?"
"I didn't... I only had a tenuous grasp of the summoning spell. I knew it was risky, Jade, but... we needed his help. And he gave it to us; thanks to John we managed to save an entire array of alternate Daves and sort of... fix the timeline, a little. I'm sorry I summoned him without really knowing what I was doing, but we thought it was the only solution, and we didn't have time to-"
"What happened to him?! Where is he?! Just tell me that! I don't care if you had a choice, I want to know where you put my brother!"
"He's... I don't know for sure, Jade. I'm sorry. He was summoned through a shadow, and my magic is light-based. Maybe dismissing the summons... dissolved him."
Jade went limp. "So where is he? I-I mean you can't just, he can't be-"
"We'll have him back when we fix the timeline. I'm sorry, Jade. We didn't know you were waiting, or... anything like this. We're going to make everything right. You wont remember any of this. ...I wont either, I guess."
Jade rubbed the tears from her eyes. "He was so excited when he got the summons. He thought it was great that he could still help you guys. Especially you. He liked you, you know."
What could she say to that? "Jade. I need your help to get out of here."
"So why don't you just summon me and bind me to help you?!" Jade spat the words angrily, but then immediately softened. "I'm sorry, that wasn't- that didn't even make sense. I'm just, this place is so..."
"I know. And I'm going to try to get us out, but I need your help. The locals of the Table said you If you can warp space. If you can make a Gate back to the Medium, we can all escape back through it. Together."
"I can't do that, Rose!"
"You can't or you wont?"
"I can't! Maybe if I was higher on the echeladder, but... Rose, if I could make Gates I wouldn't be here!"
Rose's face fell. "Dave is stuck in a dream until I can get out of here. Until I can find my mother. Jaspers has been taking care of him, but it's only a temporary solution. If he doesn't wake up, he can't reverse. He cant fix the timeline. You were my only hope to breaking out of here."
"Then there is no hope. We'll be stuck here forever."
"It can't be that simple! You've seen the future, Jade! Is that how our session ends- with you and John dead and Dave and I in irreversible comas?"
"The clouds never told me John was going to die. Either they lied or it wasn't supposed to happen. I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm tired of this game. I tried so hard, Rose. All those years, trying to figure out what the things I saw in the clouds meant, and when they'd happen... and not being able to tell you guys what was going on, because I never knew enough to know for sure.
They were silent for a while, then Rose looked up. "Did you call John your brother?"
"He's supposed to be. It has to do with the game. I never learned all the details."
The game. It hadn't felt like a game for a long time, it seemed. Rose didn't know for sure how long she'd been in the Table, by now... every time she talked to Candles, the waking world seemed farther and farther away. "Jade, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired, even when I sleep. Did he do the thing to you, with the wax?"
"It doesn't work on the dead. But he's done it to others. Felt, and other prisoners. ...there used to be others in here. But they're all gone now." Jade curled up into a ball on the floor of her cell. "He'll kill you if you try to hold back."
"I know. I'm tired from it all. I don't know how much strength I have left."
"You need to figure out what he wants. You're the Seer, Rose. I wont pretend I believe in our destinies anymore, but that still means something."
"I don't feel like a Seer," Rose said. "The magic comes easily enough, but... I need the wands to use it, and the offensive magic is so much easier. You would've made a much better Seer." Rose didn't say it, but she couldn't help but think that she would've made a better Witch, too.
"You'll figure it out, Rose. You'll have to."
Rose wanted to ask more, but her thoughts wouldn't come together. Still thinking about how to beat Candles, she drifted asleep.
~
"Rose? Are you paying attention?"
"Mm?" Rose started awake. She was back in the interrogation room with Candles. When had she gotten here?
Candles sighed theatrically. "Perhaps these sessions are getting to be too much for you. Would a week's reprieve in your cell help you rest up enough?"
A week from now she'd surely be dead. Rose shook her head blearily. "My attention was just drifting. What... what was your question?"
"I asked you if you'd like a drink."
"A drink." The question seemed ridiculous to Rose, whose nerves were barely hanging on. How many sessions had she spent with Candles, now? She remembered... at least four, surely... maybe five? But everything seemed to blur together in here. Hadn't he started out asking questions about how she'd gotten here?
"Is that... the only thing you have left to ask...?"
Candles was already holding a bottle, and he poured himself a drink. "We worked past all the rest. Don't you remember?"
Rose shook her head, staring down at the table. Was he lying? She couldn't tell. She just didn't remember. Everything seemed to be crumbling away.
"You already answered most of my questions, anyway. What you didn't tell me I managed to figure out." He sipped an amber liquid from a highball glass, labeled on the bottle as UNCLE JULIUS' CHURCH-TYME SIPPING BOURBON. "But I keep finding excuses for us to spend time together."
Rose nodded. She felt like she was being led to something. She closed her eyes. She wasn't truly blind, as Tiresias was, but she was a Seer in the land of the dead, and that had to count for something. I don't believe in destiny, either, but I know there's a way out of this. If I had more light...
But with eyes closed, one cannot see the light. She smiled, and let light flow through her mind, illuminating the future.
"So is that a yes? Do you want a drink?"
"Candles," she said, her eyes still closed, "why don't you tell me about yourself?"
She opened her eyes. She had to, to see his reaction. Candles was staring at her, puzzled. "What's that?"
"You know so much about me, but I don't know anything about you. Or the Table at all, really. Who are you Baize? Where did you come from? Who is the Lord you all make reference to?"
"That's not really your business." Candles flicked his cigarette, but he still looked confused. "What's a Baize?"
"That's what I call you green people."
"Well... stop it."
"What about yourself? How'd you come to be in charge of this city? Were you created for the job, or were you hired?"
"I don't like to talk about that."
"Well, if we don't have anything else to talk about..."
"I used to be part of a gang, on another planet. Not my home planet. A place that was once called Alternia. Our gang was established to... destabilize another group and provide a foothold, so to speak."
"What happened to the gang?"
"Nothing. They're still out there, as far as I know."
"Then why aren't you?"
This was the question she'd been leading to, and Rose had to make serious effort not to smile. Candles looked visibly agitated. She thought she heard a creaking, snapping sound somewhere... the floodgates, straining. About to break.
"I was in charge, do you understand? Me and Crowbar, we ran the Felt. I made the plans. He gave the orders. And we were good. Really good. And then she came. And she. Ruined. Everything."
"All of the sudden the Doc is talking to her in private. Suddenly he's taking me aside and talking about reassignment." Candles was shaking with rage, his fingers quivering so much that it looked like he would snap his cigarette in two. "Says my talents can be put to better use for the Lord as an administrator. So they send me here. Set me up as the big cheese of the Table, give me a pretty title. But I know. And everyone else knows. That I've been fired from the Felt. They don't need sixteen guys. And they replace me with that... that Dersite. That exile."
His voice raised an octave. "I should have been Snowman! I was twice the agent that bitch was! Before I came to Alternia, there were no "Felt"! The Midnight Crew ran everything! We had nothing and we took what we needed! Where was the Doc and his precious Quasiroyal at the Pharaoh's Monolith Shoot-out?! Where were they when Droog got the jump on Stitch and we had to rescue him?! WHERE WAS THAT BACKSTABBING WHITE-HEADED SONUVABITCH WHEN WE RAIDED PACIFIC CITY WITH NOTHING BUT OUR LORD-GIVEN TIME POWERS AND A SHAKEN CAN OF MOXIE?!"
"I EARNED MY PLACE ON THAT TEAM, D'YOU UNDERSTAND?!" Candles was enraged now, waving his cigarette around like a weapon. "I DIDN'T SPEND ALL THOSE LONG NIGHTS PORING OVER BLUEPRINTS OF SPADES SLICK'S DAMNED CASINOS SO I COULD HAND OVER MY PLACE TO THAT DERSITE HARPY! AND WHAT DO I GET FOR IT?! DROPPED OFF IN THIS MISERABLE NETHERPLANE AND PATRONIZED TO BY GRUBSUCKING BOTTOMFEEDERS WHO THINK THEY KNOW HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN!" He threw the smoldering stub that was all that remained of his cigarette at the floor and immediately lit another one, seething with rage and breathing heavily.
There was a silence between them as Candles recovered from his outburst. This is it, Rose realized. This was her chance, if she had one at all. This moment was what she had provoked him for. If she said the wrong thing this insane green man might kill her, but if she let this moment pass she would surely waste away in this place until her death. As would Dave, and whatever remained of Jade's spirit. She had to strike now. She chose her words carefully and said:
"And how did that make you feel?"
Candles stared at her. "What."
"How did that make you feel... having your boss replace you with... this woman?"
There was no rage in his voice now. If anything, the Baize sounded sullen, like a sulking child. "Felt unappreciated. Of course. Anyone would feel unappreciated. Perfectly executed heists don't just happen. Not with that crew anyway. And they acted like I was replaceable. After all that work, no recognition. What would you have done?"
He had given her a dangerous opening there, Rose knew. But she would take it, trap or not. "Well, perhaps I'm just a petty child with lack of respect for authority stemming from resentment towards my mother... but I would have taken revenge."
"Revenge." Candles laughed bitterly. "Like there was anything I could do to the Doc."
"What about the woman?"
Candles was silent for a long period of time, and Rose was worried she'd made a tactical misstep. Did he harbor some kind of twisted attraction to the woman that had taken his job? She didn't have enough time or resources to really analyze his internal motives. If she was wrong...
But she wasn't. "Yeah. I didn't do anything, but... yeah. I would've liked to see something happen to Snowman."
"So why didn't you do anything?"
"I don't know." He was lying, but Rose couldn't tell why.
"I think you're manipulating me," Rose said. "I think you know what I'm doing here, and how I got here. I think you told me about yourself so I would start asking questions. I think you want to offer me a job."
Candles rubbed his chin. "Maybe I do. Could you handle it, if I did?"
"It depends on what I'd be paid for it."
"What if I told you you could walk out of this place and return to your session, no strings attached? You can take the little girl with you, and your mother. And Jade. That's what you want, isn't it? For you to all go home free. You don't want your friends and family in the hands of the minions of the Furthest Ring."
"Yes. I want that."
"Then it looks like we have a deal, doesn't it?" Candles stretched out his hand to Rose for her to shake. "You will be released to assassinate Snowman. And in return, you and your friends will be free to go. As a courtesy, I'll even settle your debt with whatever idiot wizard got you here. Free of charge."
They shook hands.
"She'll be dead by this time tomorrow."
I've been waiting to write this part for a long time, partly because the revelation about John kind of casts the events of Shenanigans in a new light, but mostly because Candles is fun to write. Writing it was really tough, though, and I'm not sure it's turned out quite the way I wanted, but... eh. I've spent so much time on this part that if I put it off any more I don't think I'll ever post anything. This will have to be good enough.
PS: If any Felt fan would like to draw Candles that would be so cool.
Okay, you? You are awesome. I just read all of this on a whim, and... holy crap, just amazing.
That said, I think I'm gonna draw Candles.
Okay well I haven't written in a long time, so please forgive all terribleness, but I got kind of inspired recently, so...
Try to Understand
FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 3:11 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCA: hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin
CCG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
FCA: gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage
CCG: NO, DUDE, DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. IF IT WERE UP TO HIM WE WOULD ALL DRINK FAYGO AT ONCE IN SOME RITUALISTIC RAP CLOWN SUICIDE PACT.
CCG: BUT INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUICIDE THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE.
FCA: i mean
FCA: its not evven that bad
FCA: its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point
CCG: THIS ISN'T THE VENUE FOR AIRING YOUR FUTURE PROBLEMS, COUNT SEA DIPSHIT.
FCA: i knoww i knoww
FCA: its just
FCA: i got a problem
FCA: wwith feferi
FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin
CCG: OK, WELL
CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO
CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU.
CCG banned FCA from responding to memo.
Eridan slumped back into his chair. He’d been trying to get in touch with Karkat for what felt like hours now, but could be more appropriately described as thirty minutes. Finally he’d found a way to talk to him, but all he got out of the attempt was a couple insults, some useless instructions, and a public airing of his own stupidity. Argh. So many feelings and problems. Too many.
He looked around his block one more time, letting his eyes take in all the loot and doomsday devices he’d amassed over the years. For the most part, he didn’t need them anymore. After all, with the meteors raining down and Fef’s lusus letting off the Vast Glub, nearly all the land dwellers were dead now. Only his ten friends left, and he and Fef were the only aristocrats. He was, on some level, aware that he should be happy about this, but he wasn’t. He just felt…empty.
He tore himself away from the flashier treasure he owned and instead looked over at the bookcase. Right on top was a small picture of Eridan and Feferi from one of the few times he’d done so well that she’d been able to take a break from feeding Gl’Bgolyb. She’d swam up to his hive and they’d spent some time together, just hanging out, talking…doing moirail things, he guessed. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d considered letting up on the feeding routine just to look at the picture and decide against it. He couldn’t bear the thought of upsetting Feferi. Maybe that should have told him something about what he really wanted.
He sighed and rubbed his temples. He didn’t want to think about this by himself right now. Karkat knew about this sort of stuff, but Eridan was clueless and he knew it. He’d just demonstrated how stupid he was multiple times in succession, from telling Fef when he knew it was doomed and letting everyone know about it, to distracting Fef when Sollux needed her help…it was all so fucking stupid. Why did he even bother?
Sollux. He felt worse about that than he thought he would. “Good, another dead land dweller,” he’d expected to think. But in reality he’d just felt horrible. Sollux had saved Feferi after all. And besides that…well, they were friends. He guessed. Argh.
Better just to keep going, he decided. Play this game and worry about everything else later. He whistled for his lusus, sadly killed right before he entered the Medium but reborn as his sprite. It floated over, looking quizzically at its young charge.
“Is everything okay?” it asked.
Oh yeah. Sprites can talk.
“Don’t wworry about it,” Eridan said. “Just take me up to the gate, Fef is too busy to build up to it herself.”
With a sea whinny of acknowledgement, his lusus let him climb aboard. Eridan picked up Ahab’s Crosshairs before taking up the reigns and riding his guardian up to the first gate. Letting loose one final sigh (and maybe even a forlorn look back at his abandoned hive), Eridan jumped into his first gate.
-------
This Land was a joke. Of course, Eridan hadn’t expected it to be that difficult, but his powerful weapon and high position on the echeladder let him tear through these enemies. Except for the occasional Gl’Bgolyb-prototyped imp (what had Fef been thinking?) they were almost laughably pathetic. The only challenges were finding the next gate and dealing with his infuriating consorts.
“Friendship is paramount, new friend!” squealed the brightly colored, eight-legged squid-like creature.
“Shut up, shut up, shut the FUCK UP!” screamed Eridan in frustration. The thing had been following him since he entered the gate, babbling on and on about the importance of friendship and asking him to be ‘tangle buddies,’ whatever the fuck that was. He couldn’t take anymore.
Fortunately, he didn’t need to. Right up ahead he finally found his next gate, the place all the stupid puzzles he was supposed to solve sent him. He almost cried out of joy. He swore to fucking gog if he had to be around this…thing one more gogdamn minute he was going to do a magical fucking pirouette off the wand.
“That’s the gate, right?” he asked it, bracing for the barrage of nonsense that was about to occur.
“Yes, new friend! Through there you’ll find the Land of the Witch of Life, and she’ll help you awaken to your true role! It will be an exciting journey, and I am sure you will learn the importance of –“
“Let me guess. Friendship?” Eridan interrupted. “Spare me the fuckin inane bullshit. I am leavvin noww, and if I can help it I’m nevver fuckin comin back.”
Eridan jumped through the gate without letting his consort reply, eager to be away from them. He regretted it shortly afterwards, however, when he noticed that Feferi had also made it to her gate without building up, and he started falling to the ground below.
“FUUUUUUU-“he screamed, cut short when he slammed into the water in the bowl underneath her gates. He spasmed in pain at first, but soon his aquatic instincts, however little used, took over, and he was swimming near the top of the bowl. Glubbing in relief, he swam down to the bottom of the bowl to get his bearings and figure out where he was.
As soon as he reached the bottom, though, he froze up. He knew where he was, of course. He’d only spent a few days underwater, and most of them had been here. Feferi’s hive. It looked just as he remembered it: a huge, shell-like underwater castle. All the feelings he’d pushed down back when he first entered his gate came rushing back, and he soon found himself involuntarily swimming towards it, and eventually inside.
It didn’t take him long to find Feferi’s block. Despite how huge the castle was, it was mostly filled with wards for all the aquatic life she felt she needed to care for, and had very few actual rooms. Again, it looked almost exactly like he remembered it, full of cages and all the different cuttlefish. Honestly, the cuttlefish were kind of annoying. But he hadn’t really cared then, and he didn’t really care now.
Most of her personal possessions were gone, probably taken with her when she left for Sollux’s Land. But there was one thing left behind. It looked like a diamond-shaped picture frame, lying face down on her desk. Slowly, he picked it up and flipped it over. It was the same picture he had back in his hive. Feferi was smiling her goofy smile, of course, posing enthusiastically for the camera. Eridan, meanwhile, had been his usual sullen self…except for the bits of a smile on the edges of his lips. It had been a good day.
He didn’t know how long he stood there, just staring at the picture. All he knew was that sometime later, Trollian started flashing in front of his eyes on the computer glasses he had alchemized for himself. Snapping out of his stupor, he eagerly checked it, hoping Karkat had finally gotten back to him…but no. It was just Kanaya.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
GA: Do You Know Anything About Starting Volcanoes?
CA: wwhat wwhy wwould i knoww anything about that
GA: I Dont Know Im Just Sort Of Drawing A Blank Here Myself
GA: And I Figured Since Youre Always Boiling Over With Anger Maybe You Would Have Some Idea
CA: yeah wwell im not really in that sort of mood anymore
CA: so quit wwastin both of our times
GA: You? Not Angry?
GA: This Must Be Serious
CA: just fuckin leavve me alone kan im in no mood for any fuckin sarcasm
GA: That Was Sincerity
CA: oh right i forgot you dont know anything about bein sarcastic
CA: like some kinda fuckin alien
CA: but wwhatevver either wway i dont wwant to talk
CA: at least not wwith you
GA: I Think I Know What This Might Be About
CA: real fuckin mystery kan i only basically told it to evveryone tryin to talk to kar in that memo
CA: wwho still isnt answwerin by the wway
CA: so noww im sittin here just contemplatin wwhat a fuckin idiot i am for sayin it there and for evver sayin it to her in the first place
CA: wwhat did i think wwas gonna happen
GA: There Was A Good Chance
GA: It Seemed Like You Two Were Practically Made For Each Other
GA: It Just Didn’t Work Out
CA: yeah right shed nevver go for a moronic fuckin asshole like me
CA: i kneww that the wwhole time i just didnt wwant to believve it
CA: anyway wwhy should i talk to you about it wwhat do you knoww about this sort of thing
GA: You Arent The Only One Who Found Their Romantic Aspirations Crushed During This Game
CA: oh
CA: wwell im sorry kan i knoww howw much that fuckin blowws
CA: but i havve to knoww
CA: wwas i right
GA: Yes It Is Who Youre Thinking Of
CA: haha fuckin kneww it
CA: really though sorry
CA: wwhat happened
GA: She Chose The Moment Of My Entering The Medium To Reveal Her Feelings
GA: To Someone Else
CA: ouch
CA: thats evven wworse than mine in a wway
CA: you didnt evven get to tell her
GA: But At Least I Was Spared The Embarrassment Of Rejection
CA: yeah i guess
CA: theyre twwo vvarying flavvors of shit i suppose
GA: Thats A Good Description
GA: I Guess It Just Wasnt Meant To Be
CA: fuckin broken hearts club here huh
CA: just two sad fuckin brinesuckers too stupid for their owwn good
GA: Its Not Sad
GA: If We Dont Talk About This Stuff Itll Drive Us “Shithive Maggots”
GA: At Least According To Our Resident Expert
CA: oh wwhat he can make some fuckin time for you but none for me
CA: thats fuckin bullshit i thought he and i wwere bros
GA: It Was A Far Future Version
GA: I Believe His Time Is At A Premium At Present
CA: wwhatevver
GA: So I Think Im The Best Youre Going To Get
GA: Unless You Can Find Someone Else Willing To Deal With You
CA: i doubt it
CA: and i dont blame them
CA: i dont evven knoww wwhy you put up wwith me
CA: look at me its the end of the fuckin wworld and im wwhinin about my stupid fuckin relationship problems
CA: its fuckin pathetic
GA: Its Not Pathetic
GA: Eridan Clearly This Is Tearing You Up
GA: It Would Be Pathetic Not To Talk About It And Just Bottle Up Your Feelings
GA: And Youd Regret It Later
CA: eh maybe
CA: but still my fuckin priorities are messed up
CA: i got past my second gate but noww im just sittin here in fefs hivve
CA: just kinda thinkin about how fuckin stupid i am
CA: instead of progressin
CA: and its not like im the only one dealin wwith shit here
CA: you got your owwn stuff obvviously
CA: and sol died after savvin fef so thats gotta be hard on a lot of them
GA: Sollux Died?
GA: Oh No
GA: That’s Terrible
CA: yeah i knoww and maybe fef could havve helped him if she hadnt been dealin wwith my ovverwwrought bullshit
CA: its my fault
GA: Dont Be Ridiculous
GA: This Is A Dangerous Game
GA: Its Awful But It Wasnt Your Fault
CA: wwhatevver
CA: the point is im fuckin wworthless
CA: doesnt matter wwhat the hemospectrum says im the lowwest fuckin garbage there is
CA: overemotional sappy trash
GA: Do You Realize The Irony In What Youre Saying
CA: yeah its all just part of wwhy im so relentlessly awwful
GA: Dont Talk Like That
GA: Beating Yourself Up About Feeling Upset Is An Endless Spiral
GA: You Have To Just Accept How You Feel And Try To Deal With It
GA: Torturing Yourself Over It Doesnt Do Anyone Any Good
CA: ehhhh
GA: Eridan Its Hard
GA: Being A Kid And Growing Up
GA: Its Hard
GA: But I Understand
CA: alright wwell
CA: thanks for sayin
CA: talkin has sorta helped
CA: a little
GA: Youre Welcome
GA: You May Be ovveremotional and ovverbearing
GA: But You Are My Friend Eridan
CA: yeah and you might be a fuckin Annoying Meddling Fussyfangs
CA: but youre my friend too kanaya
CA: do you wwant to talk about your thing maybe
GA: No It Has Been Quite Some Time For Me
GA: I Have Had Time To Accept It
GA: Besides I Think You Just Helped Me Get Some Perspective Anyway
CA: youre wwelcome then i guess
CA: i think i should get goin noww
CA: if wwere gonna wwin this game you dirtscrapin little wwrigglers are gonna be needin my help
CA: rest of you dont knoww a fuckin thing about wwinnin a campaign
GA: Lucky We Have You To Show Us How Its Done
CA: fuckin right you are
CA: see you soon kan im gonna bloww through these fuckin gates like its nobodys business
CA: and start up that fuckin volcano myself if you still havvent done it
GA: I Look Forward To Your Arrival
GA: Goodbye
CA: bye
CA: and for wwhat its wworth
CA: youre too good for that fuckin landhag anywway
CA: you deservve better
Eridan turned off his computer glasses, his vision switching back to Feferi’s room. He looked back at the picture he was still holding; only this time, it hurt a little less.
He’d wanted to be matesprits. But in the end, he’d liked being moirails too. Maybe he’d be okay with just being friends.
Yeah, he could be okay with that.
He put the picture back down on the desk, just the way he’d found it, and then swam up out of the bowl. He was out of practice, but he managed a perfectly executed STRONGSWIM into a STRONGJUMP and continued through the gates.
-----------
This Land was a fucking pain in the ass. As if all the weird brain shit around wasn’t freaky enough, everything was perpetually on fire. Maybe it was better that Sollux didn’t have to deal with losing the fucking Land lottery, Eridan thought. The enemies were just as easy as before, but navigating this burning miasma of brain matter was disturbing on so many levels.
Still, he had to persevere. Fef wasn’t as experienced as he was at adventuring, and she was probably still stuck in this Land. It didn’t matter what had happened between them: Eridan was determined to stay her friend, and that meant he had to help her.
But he wasn’t expecting what he saw when he finally did catch up. Feferi had been doing a fine job of adventuring so far, it turned out, because she’d already had some help.
Isn’t he supposed to be dead? Eridan thought to himself.
But that confusion as he saw the pair dispatch a group of imps quickly turned to rage when they were successful, and Sollux floated over to Feferi, and she gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek…right after breaking up with Eridan and rejecting him in THE SAME FUCKING CONVERSATION…she just went right over here and…and…
He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. Eridan gripped Ahab’s Crosshairs hard and made a sort of choking noise. The two noticed, and both turned to see him. Feferi brightened instantly, smiling and waving, but Sollux saw the look on Eridan’s face. His hands went up to his glasses, likely just as a precaution, but Eridan wasn’t thinking straight.
He wasn’t even sure what he was doing anymore. All he knew was that at this moment he hated Sollux. Not the hate he always claimed to have for all land dwellers, and not the sharp hate of a kismesis either. It was just a raw, burning, instantaneous hate that he needed to express right now.
Before he even realized what was happening, Eridan pointed, aimed, and shot.
Last edited by This Is An Odd Name; 09-28-2010 at 03:17 PM.
Okay well I haven't written in a long time, so please forgive all terribleness, but I got kind of inspired recently, so...
Try to Understand
FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 3:11 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCA: hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin
CCG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
FCA: gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage
CCG: NO, DUDE, DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. IF IT WERE UP TO HIM WE WOULD ALL DRINK FAYGO AT ONCE IN SOME RITUALISTIC RAP CLOWN SUICIDE PACT.
CCG: BUT INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUICIDE THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE.
FCA: i mean
FCA: its not evven that bad
FCA: its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point
CCG: THIS ISN'T THE VENUE FOR AIRING YOUR FUTURE PROBLEMS, COUNT SEA DIPSHIT.
FCA: i knoww i knoww
FCA: its just
FCA: i got a problem
FCA: wwith feferi
FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin
CCG: OK, WELL
CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO
CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU.
CCG banned FCA from responding to memo.
Eridan slumped back into his chair. He’d been trying to get in touch with Karkat for what felt like hours now, but could be more appropriately described as thirty minutes. Finally he’d found a way to talk to him, but all he got out of the attempt was a couple insults, some useless instructions, and a public airing of his own stupidity. Argh. So many feelings and problems. Too many.
He looked around his block one more time, letting his eyes take in all the loot and doomsday devices he’d amassed over the years. For the most part, he didn’t need them anymore. After all, with the meteors raining down and Fef’s lusus letting off the Vast Glub, nearly all the land dwellers were dead now. Only his ten friends left, and he and Fef were the only aristocrats. He was, on some level, aware that he should be happy about this, but he wasn’t. He just felt…empty.
He tore himself away from the flashier treasure he owned and instead looked over at the bookcase. Right on top was a small picture of Eridan and Feferi from one of the few times he’d done so well that she’d been able to take a break from feeding Gl’Bgolyb. She’d swam up to his hive and they’d spent some time together, just hanging out, talking…doing moirail things, he guessed. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d considered letting up on the feeding routine just to look at the picture and decide against it. He couldn’t bear the thought of upsetting Feferi. Maybe that should have told him something about what he really wanted.
He sighed and rubbed his temples. He didn’t want to think about this by himself right now. Karkat knew about this sort of stuff, but Eridan was clueless and he knew it. He’d just demonstrated how stupid he was multiple times in succession, from telling Fef when he knew it was doomed and letting everyone know about it, to distracting Fef when Sollux needed her help…it was all so fucking stupid. Why did he even bother?
Sollux. He felt worse about that than he thought he would. “Good, another dead land dweller,” he’d expected to think. But in reality he’d just felt horrible. Sollux had saved Feferi after all. And besides that…well, they were friends. He guessed. Argh.
Better just to keep going, he decided. Play this game and worry about everything else later. He whistled for his lusus, sadly killed right before he entered the Medium but reborn as his sprite. It floated over, looking quizzically at its young charge.
“Is everything okay?” it asked.
Oh yeah. Sprites can talk.
“Don’t wworry about it,” Eridan said. “Just take me up to the gate, Fef is too busy to build up to it herself.”
With a sea whinny of acknowledgement, his lusus let him climb aboard. Eridan picked up Ahab’s Crosshairs before taking up the reigns and riding his guardian up to the first gate. Letting loose one final sigh (and maybe even a forlorn look back at his abandoned hive), Eridan jumped into his first gate.
-------
This Land was a joke. Of course, Eridan hadn’t expected it to be that difficult, but his powerful weapon and high position on the echeladder let him tear through these enemies. Except for the occasional Gl’Bgolyb-prototyped imp (what had Fef been thinking?) they were almost laughably pathetic. The only challenges were finding the next gate and dealing with his infuriating denizens.
“Friendship is paramount, new friend!” squealed the brightly colored, eight-legged squid-like creature.
“Shut up, shut up, shut the FUCK UP!” screamed Eridan in frustration. The thing had been following him since he entered the gate, babbling on and on about the importance of friendship and asking him to be ‘tangle buddies,’ whatever the fuck that was. He couldn’t take anymore.
Fortunately, he didn’t need to. Right up ahead he finally found his next gate, the place all the stupid puzzles he was supposed to solve sent him. He almost cried out of joy. He swore to fucking gog if he had to be around this…thing one more gogdamn minute he was going to do a magical fucking pirouette off the wand.
“That’s the gate, right?” he asked it, bracing for the barrage of nonsense that was about to occur.
“Yes, new friend! Through there you’ll find the Land of the Witch of Life, and she’ll help you awaken to your true role! It will be an exciting journey, and I am sure you will learn the importance of –“
“Let me guess. Friendship?” Eridan interrupted. “Spare me the fuckin inane bullshit. I am leavvin noww, and if I can help it I’m nevver fuckin comin back.”
Eridan jumped through the gate without letting his denizen reply, eager to be away from them. He regretted it shortly afterwards, however, when he noticed that Feferi had also made it to her gate without building up, and he started falling to the ground below.
“FUUUUUUU-“he screamed, cut short when he slammed into the water in the bowl underneath her gates. He spasmed in pain at first, but soon his aquatic instincts, however little used, took over, and he was swimming near the top of the bowl. Glubbing in relief, he swam down to the bottom of the bowl to get his bearings and figure out where he was.
As soon as he reached the bottom, though, he froze up. He knew where he was, of course. He’d only spent a few days underwater, and most of them had been here. Feferi’s hive. It looked just as he remembered it: a huge, shell-like underwater castle. All the feelings he’d pushed down back when he first entered his gate came rushing back, and he soon found himself involuntarily swimming towards it, and eventually inside.
It didn’t take him long to find Feferi’s block. Despite how huge the castle was, it was mostly filled with wards for all the aquatic life she felt she needed to care for, and had very few actual rooms. Again, it looked almost exactly like he remembered it, full of cages and all the different cuttlefish. Honestly, the cuttlefish were kind of annoying. But he hadn’t really cared then, and he didn’t really care now.
Most of her personal possessions were gone, probably taken with her when she left for Sollux’s Land. But there was one thing left behind. It looked like a diamond-shaped picture frame, lying face down on her desk. Slowly, he picked it up and flipped it over. It was the same picture he had back in his hive. Feferi was smiling her goofy smile, of course, posing enthusiastically for the camera. Eridan, meanwhile, had been his usual sullen self…except for the bits of a smile on the edges of his lips. It had been a good day.
He didn’t know how long he stood there, just staring at the picture. All he knew was that sometime later, Trollian started flashing in front of his eyes on the computer glasses he had alchemized for himself. Snapping out of his stupor, he eagerly checked it, hoping Karkat had finally gotten back to him…but no. It was just Kanaya.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]
GA: Do You Know Anything About Starting Volcanoes?
CA: wwhat wwhy wwould i knoww anything about that
GA: I Dont Know Im Just Sort Of Drawing A Blank Here Myself
GA: And I Figured Since Youre Always Boiling Over With Anger Maybe You Would Have Some Idea
CA: yeah wwell im not really in that sort of mood anymore
CA: so quit wwastin both of our times
GA: You? Not Angry?
GA: This Must Be Serious
CA: just fuckin leavve me alone kan im in no mood for any fuckin sarcasm
GA: That Was Sincerity
CA: oh right I forgot you dont know anything about bein sarcastic
CA: like some kinda fuckin alien
CA: but wwhatevver either wway I dont wwant to talk
CA: at least not wwith you
GA: I Think I Know What This Might Be About
CA: real fuckin mystery kan i only basically told it to evveryone tryin to talk to kar in that memo
CA: wwho still isnt answwerin by the wway
CA: so noww im sittin here just contemplatin wwhat a fuckin idiot i am for sayin it there and for evver sayin it to her in the first place
CA: wwhat did i think wwas gonna happen
GA: There Was A Good Chance
GA: It Seemed Like You Two Were Practically Made For Each Other
GA: It Just Didn’t Work Out
CA: yeah right shed nevver go for a moronic fuckin asshole like me
CA: i kneww that the wwhole time i just didnt wwant to believve it
CA: anyway wwhy should i talk to you about it wwhat do you knoww about this sort of thing
GA: You Arent The Only One Who Found Their Romantic Aspirations Crushed During This Game
CA: oh
CA: wwell im sorry kan i knoww howw much that fuckin blowws
CA: but i havve to knoww
CA: wwas i right
GA: Yes It Is Who Youre Thinking Of
CA: haha fuckin kneww it
CA: really though sorry
CA: wwhat happened
GA: She Chose The Moment Of My Entering The Medium To Reveal Her Feelings
GA: To Someone Else
CA: ouch
CA: thats evven wworse than mine in a wway
CA: you didnt evven get to tell her
GA: But At Least I Was Spared The Embarrassment Of Rejection
CA: yeah i guess
CA: theyre twwo vvarying flavvors of shit i suppose
GA: Thats A Good Description
GA: I Guess It Just Wasnt Meant To Be
CA: fuckin broken hearts club here huh
CA: just two sad fuckin brinesuckers too stupid for their owwn good
GA: Its Not Sad
GA: If We Dont Talk About This Stuff Itll Drive Us “Shithive Maggots”
GA: At Least According To Our Resident Expert
CA: oh wwhat he can make some fuckin time for you but none for me
CA: thats fuckin bullshit i thought he and I wwere bros
GA: It Was A Far Future Version
GA: I Believe His Time Is At A Premium At Present
CA: wwhatevver
GA: So I Think Im The Best Youre Going To Get
GA: Unless You Can Find Someone Else Willing To Deal With You
CA: i doubt it
CA: and i dont blame them
CA: i dont evven knoww wwhy you put up wwith me
CA: look at me its the end of the fuckin wworld and im wwhinin about my stupid fuckin relationship problems
CA: its fuckin pathetic
GA: Its Not Pathetic
GA: Eridan Clearly This Is Tearing You Up
GA: It Would Be Pathetic Not To Talk About It And Just Bottle Up Your Feelings
GA: And Youd Regret It Later
CA: eh maybe
CA: but still my fuckin priorities are messed up
CA: i got past my second gate but noww im just sittin here in fefs hivve
CA: just kinda thinkin about how fuckin stupid i am
CA: instead of progressin
CA: and its not like im the only one dealin wwith shit here
CA: you got your owwn stuff obvviously
CA: and sol died after savvin fef so thats gotta be hard on a lot of them
GA: Sollux Died?
GA: Oh No
GA: That’s Terrible
CA: yeah i knoww and maybe fef could havve helped him if she hadnt been dealin wwith my ovverwwrought bullshit
CA: its my fault
GA: Dont Be Ridiculous
GA: This Is A Dangerous Game
GA: Its Awful But It Wasnt Your Fault
CA: wwhatevver
CA: the point is im fuckin wworthless
CA: doesnt matter wwhat the hemospectrum says im the lowwest fuckin garbage there is
CA: overemotional sappy trash
GA: Do You Realize The Irony In What Youre Saying
CA: yeah its all just part of wwhy im so relentlessly awwful
GA: Dont Talk Like That
GA: Beating Yourself Up About Feeling Upset Is An Endless Spiral
GA: You Have To Just Accept How You Feel And Try To Deal With It
GA: Torturing Yourself Over It Doesnt Do Anyone Any Good
CA: ehhhh
GA: Eridan Its Hard
GA: Being A Kid And Growing Up
GA: Its Hard
GA: But I Understand
CA: alright wwell
CA: thanks for sayin
CA: talkin has sorta helped
CA: a little
GA: Youre Welcome
GA: You May Be ovveremotional and ovverbearing
GA: But You Are My Friend Eridan
CA: yeah and you might be a fuckin Annoying Meddling Fussyfangs
CA: but youre my friend too kanaya
CA: do you wwant to talk about your thing maybe
GA: No It Has Been Quite Some Time For Me
GA: I Have Had Time To Accept It
GA: Besides I Think You Just Helped Me Get Some Perspective Anyway
CA: youre wwelcome then i guess
CA: i think i should get goin noww
CA: if wwere gonna wwin this game you dirtscrapin little wwrigglers are gonna be needin my help
CA: rest of you dont knoww a fuckin thing about wwinnin a campaign
GA: Lucky We Have You To Show Us How Its Done
CA: fuckin right you are
CA: see you soon kan im gonna bloww through these fuckin gates like its nobodys business
CA: and start up that fuckin volcano myself if you still havvent done it
GA: I Look Forward To Your Arrival
GA: Goodbye
CA: bye
CA: and for wwhat its wworth
CA: youre too good for that fuckin landhag anywway
CA: you deservve better
Eridan turned off his computer glasses, his vision switching back to Feferi’s room. He looked back at the picture he was still holding; only this time, it hurt a little less.
He’d wanted to be matesprits. But in the end, he’d liked being moirails too. Maybe he’d be okay with just being friends.
Yeah, he could be okay with that.
He put the picture back down on the desk, just the way he’d found it, and then swam up out of the bowl. He was out of practice, but he managed a perfectly executed STRONGSWIM into a STRONGJUMP and continued through the gates.
-----------
This Land was a fucking pain in the ass. As if all the weird brain shit around wasn’t freaky enough, everything was perpetually on fire. Maybe it was better that Sollux didn’t have to deal with losing the fucking Land lottery, Eridan thought. The enemies were just as easy as before, but navigating this burning miasma of brain matter was disturbing on so many levels.
Still, he had to persevere. Fef wasn’t as experienced as he was at adventuring, and she was probably still stuck in this Land. It didn’t matter what had happened between them: Eridan was determined to stay her friend, and that meant he had to help her.
But he wasn’t expecting what he saw when he finally did catch up. Feferi had been doing a fine job of adventuring so far, it turned out, because she’d already had some help.
Isn’t he supposed to be dead? Eridan thought to himself.
But that confusion as he saw the pair dispatch a group of imps quickly turned to rage when they were successful, and Sollux floated over to Feferi, and she gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek…right after breaking up with Eridan and rejecting him in THE SAME FUCKING CONVERSATION…she just went right over here and…and…
He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. Eridan gripped Ahab’s Crosshairs hard and made a sort of choking noise. The two noticed, and both turned to see him. Feferi brightened instantly, smiling and waving, but Sollux saw the look on Eridan’s face. His hands went up to his glasses, likely just as a precaution, but Eridan wasn’t thinking straight.
He wasn’t even sure what he was doing anymore. All he knew was that at this moment he hated Sollux. Not the hate he always claimed to have for all land dwellers, and not the sharp hate of a kismesis either. It was just a raw, burning, instantaneous hate that he needed to express right now.
Before he even realized what was happening, Eridan pointed, aimed, and shot.
"Thought you were getting Jade into the medium," she says without turning to look, as he jetpacks in through the hole in her bedroom wall.
"Yeah, I just finished doing that a few minutes ago. I mean, I know I should be building up her house and stuff, but she says she's all right for now, and we both agreed that this was something I needed to do."
"What was?"
"Seeing you in person. While you're awake, this time."
"Is that really so important?"
"Yes. Rose, how do you seriously want to think of me? As your friend, or as your leader?"
"Why?"
"Because if I'm your friend, the next thing I say'll be a request. If I'm your leader... it'll be an order."
She looks down at the floor. "Say it then. I'll decide after I've heard it."
"Take a break. And not just building my house up, a proper break. Please?"
"Most orders don't contain 'please'."
"That's because I'd still rather you thought of me as your friend."
Silence for a few moments. Then: "How can I take a break, John? There's so much to do, and so little time."
"Rose, you've done an amazing amount of stuff since the last time I saw you. You can afford a break. You deserve one. And yeah, you need one."
"Why do I need one?"
"Because... because I've seen some of the stuff you've done. To Nanna, to the salamanders... to yourself. And I think you need reminding about how to be human."
"John, we have to be much more than human to deal with this."
"Maybe. But you can't be more than human without being at least human first. That's mathematics."
She sighs, and says, "All right. Half an hour. Where do you want to start?"
"Well, I thought a big hug might not be a bad idea," he replies with a grin.
"Go on then. Although I warn you, I haven't had as much practice at hugging as you have. What else is there?"
"Well, maybe I ought to finish telling you what I've been up to. You never know, I might even tell you something you haven't already guessed..."
Day 1: We've been here less than a day and we've already unearthed a Door. It's very oddly shaped, with a triangular top, but everyone agrees that it's a Door. It's covered in tiny marks that look like letters. We've scanned them and sent them back to headquarters to give to crypto. Until we hear back we'll just keep digging.
Day 13: We've been here almost two weeks now, and still no sign of a breakthrough. The team is getting antsy for an update from crypto, but it seems that we're on our own. We'll just have to decipher this thing by ourselves.
We've decided to call the project Billiards. Not for any particular reason, the word just stuck. I think it was Jack who suggested it.
Day 21: The results are finally back. We've been looking at a set of instructions for making a machine. In addition to simply studying these ruins, we've been tasked with building the machine itself. The higher-ups don't want any dangerous equipment being built inside the lifedome. I suppose being on a different planet probably constitutes a safe distance.
Day 43: The machine is complete, or so they tell me. Tomorrow we're all going to gather around to watch it start up. Nobody has any idea what it does; from what I hear, it doesn't even look like it should do anything. But there's a big button on it, so we're pressing that and hoping for the best.
Day 62: The little ball is growing steadily. Whatever we have created, it is developing much faster than our own universe did. Or perhaps time simply flows differently inside. But already we're seeing galaxies form. Everyone is quite excited, and more importantly headquarters has renewed our funding.
Day 134: It's hard to tear ourselves away from the machine and the universe within. And it is indeed a universe, as far as we can tell. It moves so quickly, and yet somehow we can see everything that happens. It's as if time has lost all meaning. Certainly the passing of days outside the machine has stopped meaning so much.
Day 143: I'm starting to worry about the team. Everyone except for me and the first mate have started growing obsessed with the machine. I fear the excavation will be abandoned completely in favor of watching that little cosmos develop. Nobody but myself has even noticed that all the clocks are wrong. I've been trying to correct them, but every time I so much as glance at the machine the clocks all end up at different times, different speeds.
Day 162: I'm starting to worry about the team. Everyone except for me and the first mate have started growing obsessed with the machine. I fear the excavation will be abandoned completely in favor of watching that little cosmos develop. There is talk of trying the other buttons on the machine that we have not touched yet, but the symbols on them all seem to be warnings. One of them claims to open the Door we dug up.
Time seems to flow strangely now. I find myself watching the clocks, trying to calibrate my sense of time passage. While doing so, the clocks themselves seem to warp and move at the wrong speed, even in the wrong direction. It's bothersome.
Day 166: I've ordered the team to stop watching the machine. There are other things here and our initial goal still stands. Project Billiards can wait until after we finish excavating this temple.
I've set guards. I don't trust the team anymore. It's only a matter of time before one of them presses something and causes a disaster. Two of them in particular, Prospero and Theresa, I don't trust at all. They've been arguing about the machine and I know nothing good can come out of it.
Day 41: They tell me the machine will be finished soon. I hope so; I could care less about resurrecting some outdated piece of technology when the rest of the site remains buried in sand.
Day 212: Prospero has declared that we need to share the technology with headquarters. I've shot down that idea. More examinations of the markings have convinced me that building this thing was a mistake. Theresa agrees that we shouldn't share with headquarters, but I think she wants the machine for herself. I've ordered guards to watch both of them.
Day 226: We've lost contact with headquarters. At first we thought it was just relativistic time-stretching, but then the signals we got were sped up too fast, or backwards, or chopped up into pieces and rearranged, and then nothing at all.
Of course, this has done nothing to stop the arguments about what to do with the machine. I'm certain that it is the cause of all these problems but as the team leader I can't order the machine destroyed until it actually visibly poses a threat.
Day 261: They're forming factions! Factions! How can there possibly be enough interest in that damned contraption for my team to form factions? And worst of all, the ringleaders are none other than Prospero and Theresa. Throughout the day I can hear them hurling their epithets, "Pros-spit!" "Derse!" back and forth.
I've ordered the machine to be destroyed.
Day ???: It haunts me. Always watching. They're all gone, in there, like pool balls into the pockets. And no matter which one they fell into they're not here.
This universe is coming to an end. The lifedome has long since rusted away, rotted, exploded, was never built. The planet the temple sat on was since swallowed by its star, and the star withered away. One by one, the lights in the celestial distance fade. And yet the temple, and myself, survive. And that damned machine.
I've forgotten my name. In exchange for what seems to be immortality, indeed living outside of time itself, I have sacrificed (been robbed of) who I was before. No matter. I will just use the name of the project. It is the only name I remember now.
Day 262: They did it! Those wretched, thoughtless snakes pushed whatever buttons they had to push and opened the Door and now they're gone! And yet I can see them. They're inside. Inside that pocket universe, pretending to be gods. And I can see Prospero and Theresa, still fighting over whether this potential should be shared.
And whatever they did, the Door is broken, cracked straight through. And beyond it all I see is rock. The matching button has vanished from the machine.
Day 311: No signal from headquarters. No other teammates. I can't get back without someone to crew the ship. I've continued digging, but it seems that the machine and the Door were all that this place held.
Inside the machine other Doors and other machines are spawning, no doubt from Prospero's machinations. And so they flee, deeper and deeper into these sub-worlds, as if that will save them.
341: I will make them pay. They disobeyed me. They stranded me here. And now they play god in this fake world of their own making, this pocket universe that I can almost hold in my hand but not touch. I will destroy them both, reckless Prospero, selfish Theresa. I will make them pay.
Day 21: The results are finally back. We've been looking at a warning. A long, bizarre warning not to open the Door under any circumstances. This isn't a temple, this is a quarantine.
Day 13: We've decided to call the project English. Not for any particular reason, the word just stuck. I think it was Jack who suggested it.
…Watch 10its old tricks though. While 10its mind-control techniques won’t work on you, do be aware that 10it has a tendency to try to kill even 10its friends, much less you. Ms. Elongated Vowels is a vicious being.
A rather loud beep stopped his reading. It was YokandsotkeBíloyækontusa.
Log begins 50,000,000,184 k181+704° 381’ 208”
AG: Doroesteeeeeeee.
GIV: Ah, Ms. Elongated Vowels. Queries on the rationale of contacting me?
AG: Ms. Elongated Vowels? What an idiotic name.
AG: My name, if you haven’t read a 8ook, is Vriska.
AG: Vriska Serket.
GIV: So it shall be, Ms. Serket.
GIV: Still, comments on your elongated vowels travel far.
AG: You remind me
AG: Of a certain man.
AG: One that I don’t want to think about.
GIV: And who will that be?
TELFE: Me. Of course.
TELFE: Although my anonymity seems to be stripped here.
TELFE: TELFE is what, exactly?
AG: Ha! Serves you right, you stupid manipul8ve 8east.
GIV: Now, now. Restrictions on verbal conflict must be imposed.
AG: And what is with you, then, making words longer than Kanaya’s?
AG: You just so want to talk to her.
AG: I’ll get her in a minute.
GIV: Hang on, what?
TELFE: Wait for 10:2.
GIV: Yeah, sure. I’ve got the time.
GA: What Is The Problem Here
GA: Why Am I Summoned Here
GIV: And you must be the aforementioned “Kanaya” 7thing?
GA: The Way You Stated That Makes Me Somewhat Uncomfortable
GA: Don’t Do Anything About That Seven
GA: I Am Not Of The Seventh Gender If That Is What You Are Hazarding
GIV: Records show otherwise.
AG: See? 8ig words. I told you two will fit peeeeeeeerfectly.
GA: We Seem To Have Different Types Of Loquaciousness If That’s What You Meant
GIV: I’m not loquacious; I just use word order a little unconventionally.
TELFE: Does this even pertain to me?
TELFE: I’ll be back after a certain period of time.
TELFE: It all depends.
TELFE: Status = –1
GA: GIV, If That Shall Be Your Name
GIV: No. It’s Doroeste.
GA: Very Well Then Doroeste
GA: There Is Something You Must Know
GA: Kalšunay Has Received Intelligence Of A Certain Planet Being Invaded
GA: I Do Not Know What Is Said Planet’s Name
GA: It Seems That That Data Is Restricted
EKD: Not really. Ask around! Look for answers!
GIV: Why didn’t you tell me anyway?
EKD: Because I forgot.
EKD: Call me clumsy.
GIV: Clumsy!
GC: 1 SM3LL THE N33D FOR 1NFORM4T1ON
GC: TH4T SUNR1SE R3D
GC: 1TS 1RR1S1ST4BL3
GIV: So apparently you told
GIV: Terezi
GIV: Of the planet!
GIV: I don’t know how you mistake us, with wildly different colors and names!
EKD: Yeah like whatever.
EKD: Does not matter now that you know who holds the key now does it?
GIV: I suppose that’s true.
GIV: So, Terezi, what shall be the name
GC: 1T 1S
GC: OH GOD TH1S 1S H4RD
GC: 3L3SK1TOKÁSO
GC: HOW DO3S ON3 PRONOUNC3 TH4T >:?
GIV: Eleskitokáso? It’s just how you say it.
GIV: Elle-skit-o-ca(r)-so.
GIV: Pretty simple, isn’t it?
GC: HMM
GC: 4PPAR34NTLY 1T 1S SOME K1ND OF S3CR3T M1L1T4RY B4S3
GC: 4ND 4LSO 4 R3SORT 1SL4ND
GC: THOSE TWO TH1NGS JUST DON’T GO TOG3TH3R
GC: 1TS L1KE K4RK4TS BLOOD AND W4T3R
GC: 3UUGGH
GIV: That one!
GIV: EKD, just how do you manage this thing!?
GIV: You give these things to some odd girl way out in Alterniyë, and not me!?
EKD: Look I said I was sorry.
GIV: My rage is rampant!
GIV: But in any case, write on.
GC: TH4TS TH3 3ND OF TH3 P4P3R
GC: OH NO
GC: TH3 B4CK R34DS
GC: “FOR MOR3 1NFORM4T1ON PL34SE CONT4CT T4VROS N1TR4M OF 189 K3LTR3ST3 STR33T, 4KOR3NS3, 4LT3RN1Ÿ3.”
GC: TH4TS NOT HOW YOU SP3LL 4LT3RN14 >:[
GIV: Phonetic spelling. It’s important.
GIV: But in any case, boss, why!?
EKD: ...
Log ends 50,000,000,184 k181+710° 34’ 170”
You really hate your boss. He’s so obtuse it’s a wonder that he hasn’t went and gone reflex yet (his body did go reflex, by the way). But that doesn’t matter for now, because you’ve got a couple of things to do. First of which is that letter of abstinence. Genehironsalten ek ul SehontaStiyorenÆsda Ver. (180374, 18) XCVIII can wait. You got bigger fish to fry.
Last edited by Isoraqathedh; 09-29-2010 at 03:59 AM.
Reason: Color tags BLUH
Originally Posted by Varkarrus
.
Zuki says:
Eurobunny in Wales: 
Writing it was really tough, though, and I'm not sure it's turned out quite the way I wanted, but... eh. I've spent so much time on this part that if I put it off any more I don't think I'll ever post anything. This will have to be good enough.
