MSPA fan fiction 2

[BPrinny]

The Vodka Mutiny, Part Four:
Storm
"Thomeday you need to learn how to thut the hell up."

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"Kanaya?" Rose poked her head into the cabin of the Jade Pearl where the white-green wolfhound had indicated her companion was waiting. For a brief moment, she felt a glimmer of a presence-- a dark force within the room whose power matched her own. The presence was gone as quickly as she became aware of it, an audible pop filling the silence of the cabin.

Kanaya was seated in an ornate chair, clutching at her head, her jaw clenched, her face a rictus of pain. Abruptly, the expression and color drained from her face as her body went limp, and she collapsed forward out of the chair with a groan.

With a sharp gasp, Rose sprung forward. The wolfhound was there before she even had a chance to register that it was, Kanaya's collapse shielded by the large beast's soft fur as it caught her on its' back, carefully letting her slide forward off its' head so that Rose could cradle her.

Kanaya didn't seem to be under the effects of any sort of spell, and there were no runes of any sort in the room. Her pulse was quick, but beginning to slow, and her breaths were deep and ragged, but becoming even-- whatever had been effecting her had stopped when she lost consciousness from the strain. Or perhaps she passed out because it had stopped. Regardless, a brief checking-over assured that she was unharmed physically.

With a soft moan, Kanaya's eyes fluttered open slowly, and she stared up at Rose with a bleary expression, as if unsure of her surroundings. Rose smiled softly, gently carressing Kanaya's head. "You're all right," she whispered after a moment, relief clear in her voice.

"What... Mistress..." Kanaya mumbled, and tried to sit up, but only got a short distance before her arms gave out and she collapsed again. Rose tutted softly, and shifted her position a bit, drawing Kanaya up into an awkward sort of half-hug.

"Rest, Kanaya. Whatever it was is gone." She rested her chin on Kanaya's head, taking the moment of closeness as a chance to cast a few simple warding spells on the cabin; nothing triggered them immediately, confirming her suspicions. The being that she'd felt was truly gone, perhaps had never been there in the first place, a projection of a being of immense power.

The wolfhound nudged at her shoulder after a moment, and she looked over to it with a perplexed look on her face; the beast nodded its' head upwards, toward the bed, and Rose nodded in response, only to have her view of the world invert briefly before feeling the bed's plush surface sagging gently underneath their combined weight.

Before she even had a chance to thank the wolfhound, it was gone in a fitz, and two pairs of sensible boots clattered on the floor at the foot of the bed.

"Do you have any recollection of what happened?" she asked after some time had passed.

Kanaya felt her eyelids growing heavy from exhaustion, but managed to shake her head gently. "All I remember is... my head beginning to hurt... and strange images flashing through my head." One of her hands came up to gently twine with Rose's, which gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Images?" Rose prompted, her free hand toying with a ruffle on the side of Kanaya's dress idly. The action didn't go unnoticed by the troll, and she flushed faintly. Was Mistress aware that that ruffle was one of the ties for the bodice?

"I saw... you, speaking to the Constable in his office..." she said after a moment. "And then again, at the docks..." she sighed. "I do not remember anything else." A flat out lie, of course, and Rose could tell. She'd known Kanaya long enough to know when her companion was withholding thoughts of a suggestive or embarassing nature. She also knew that if it was something truly important, Kanaya could be trusted to overcome her fears.

"Implanted visions, then," Rose said softly. "Could you hear what was being said?" At the negative response, she closed her eyes. "I see. Do you want to know what was going on?"

Kanaya was silent for a moment, before shaking her head. "It is not my place to intervene in your private matters," she muttered, and Rose smiled. The troll might as well have wrote a sonnet about how badly she wanted to know.

Making the mental link was simple and instant. Within a matter of seconds, Kanaya saw the events occurring through Rose's eyes, heard the things she heard, thought the things she thought. She was kind enough to tastefully 'fade' past the more heated moments of the memory, knowing full well that Kanaya was smart enough to infer from them.

After the full memory had been passed on, she severed the mental link, feeling a wave of relief from Kanaya just before the release. They remained silent for some time, both simply content to enjoy the moment.

At the sound of the cabin door opening, Rose twisted to look toward the door, a look of surprise and confusion etched on her face matching John's expression as he stood there in the doorway, the plush bunny sitting primly in his hand, button-eyes impassively watching the scene.

"Uh, you forgot this," he said after a moment, and uttered a sharp yelp of surpise as a bright flash of green and a mighty FZAT erupted in the air around them.

---

Jade had dozed off in Dave's lap, her head lolling against his shoulder as she snoozed softly, her sunglasses set off in a corner of the crate out of the way. He felt too wired to rest. The unfortunate side-effect of weilding only one TimeTable, he could only affect his personal time and the time of whatever or whomever he was in contact with.

Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem, as the second TimeTable, along with allowing him to step forward and backwards in time, balanced the effects of the other TimeTable, which inexplicably had an inverse effect to what one would expect.

Instead of tiring him out more quickly, speeding up his personal time somehow left Dave feeling more rested, although he was fully aware that it was a result of an unnatural imbalance in endorphines in his body. The second TimeTable helped regulate this, but without it he was left almost jittery from the overload.

On the contrary, however, any secondary passengers were effected as one would expect, becoming weary after longer periods of compressed time. He could help someone rest by slowing down their personal time, but it wore him out to do so-- perhaps because getting back to normal time took a herculean effort of dexterity and strength which to others resembled a lazy flick of the wrist.

Regardless, sleep was the farthest thing from his mind when he heard the telltale arrythmic tapping of a certain peg-legged troll fighting for balance against the gentle tilt and sway of the ocean.

"Ah, dammit, where was it?" Tavros muttered aloud as he searched through the hold. "If I don't get that barrel up to Vriska soon..." he shuddered at the thought of an enraged captain. He didn't like it when she took on these exotic spirits as 'cargo'. Everyone aboard the ship knew it was just an excuse so she could try some new kind of buzz.

Some whispered that she was looking for the 'perfect booze', others that she just wanted to forget losing her hand. Tavros was one of the select few that knew the truth, if only because of that time she'd gotten drunk on cognac. She'd shown him the truth behind that black eyepatch, right before she'd...

Tavros' face darkened at the memory, and he shook his head rapidly, accidentally striking a box with one of his wide horns and unbalancing himself. With a stumble and a yelp, he fell atop a dilapidated box, accidentally punching a hole in the top.

A pair of dark glasses stared back at him through the hole. Before he had a chance to utter even a squeak, a glowing orange sword as wide as his head shot up through the hole, the jagged, broken end of the blade pressing lightly against his chin. He swallowed hard.

"You didn't see us," Dave said flatly.

"I d-d-didn't see you," Tavros stammered in response.

The blade disappeared, and a fist shot up from the hole and stopped short just inches from his face, jabbing a thumb toward one of the corners of the hold. "You're looking for that barrel, right?" The troll followed the direction to the small barrel he'd tucked away when Jade'd surprised him with that impromptu order on the dock, and he nodded emphatically.

"Get it and go. And put a cloth over this crate," Dave added, drawing his hand back through the hole.

Grabbing a large battered canvas from nearby that sometimes saw use as a waterproofing seal for the hold hatch, Tavros draped it carefully over the top of the box, and quickly picked up the squat keg, propping it on his shoulder and heading for the hatch.

"Nitram."

He stopped cold, and turned slowly to look at the crate. A finger was holding a boondollar-sized hole up to eye level through one of the slats on the side of the crate, an emerald eye staring at him through the hole with an almost apologetic look. "Good luck." The finger retracted, and the canvas un-bunched, hanging loose again.

"Oh. Thank you." He stumped his way up the steps out of the hold.

Jade continued to doze as the hold hatch thumped shut. In response, she uttered a soft snore, mumbled something unintelligible about quantum theory, and burrowed her face into the hollow of Dave's neck.

---

Several hours had passed since the Spider's Web had left port when Jade began to stir from her slumber. During that time, trolls had come and gone, each occasionally checking throughout the hold to make sure nothing had shifted.

The only one that came even close to discovering them had been distracted by sheer luck; when Tavros' horn had struck one of the boxes, it'd damaged it enough to allow a rat to worm its' way in, and the troll's attention was drawn to it when the rat started trying to squeeze out of the box, having eaten its' fill of whatever lay within.

She'd chased the rat in circles for the better part of half an hour, eventually trapping it and heading upstairs with the air of a proud hunter, her task entirely forgotten. He tried not to think of what the fact that she was the ship's cook entailed.

Jade uttered a noise that Dave could only refer to as a 'murble', rubbing sleep from her eyes as she sat up slightly and bonked her head on the lid of the box with a squeak. Chuckling at the sight, Dave gave her head a gentle pat as he handed her glasses to her.

"How long was I asleep?" She whispered after a few moments, blinking blearily at him in the dim light.

"A while," He replied softly. Ten hours, nine minutes, twelve seconds, and 47 milliseconds, he added mentally, but didn't bother saying it out loud. It wasn't important.

Frowning, she looked at the canvas showing through the damaged slats on the crate. "How much longer until we get out of here?"

Tilting his head, Dave thought for a moment, listening silently.

FZATSPLOOSH.

"About now, I'd think," he posited smugly, and she made a pouty face at him as they pushed the top off of the crate, standing in the dim light of the cargo hold, lit by naught but two lanterns by the steps. The troll that'd been down there checking the cargo, the four-horned Sollux, had immediately rushed upstairs at the sound of the Jade Pearl erupting into existence.

Climbing the steps to the main deck, Dave gave Jade a hand up, and walked calmly toward the trolls standing in shock and awe at the galleon towering over them. Vriska was at the back of the group, wearing naught but her blue breeches and a loose white shirt, her coat roughly thrown about her shoulders.

Tavros, standing beside her and looking oddly more self-confident than normal, seemed to be missing his shirt. For that matter, it looked like everyone save for Sollux was in some state of disrepair. It didn't take much for him to realize they'd all gotten a little liquid courage from that cask of vodka, save the ship's doctor, who had the sensibility to be the only one sober.

"The Jade Pearl's a beauty, isn't she?" Dave announced, and a half-dozen heads whipped around. Vriska had the good sense, or good luck, to pitch forward under the wide swing of Tavros' giant horns, her expression of surprise changing to one of rage.

"Whathe fuck are yoooooooou doing here?" she snarled, jabbing a finger at Dave, who held his hands up in a placating gesture as Jade stretched with a happy sigh.

"Hey, come on, that's no way to treat the guy that's waived every 'extra' barrel you've left port with for the past month," he said flatly. "All sixteen of them," he added, his lips quirking up sideways as Vriska's eye widened.

"You... you... yoooooooou... blackmailing...m... mm..." Vriska muttered, searching for a word. "Motherf--" MOTHERfucker!" she snapped over the suggestion of one of the trolls."Thas' why you did it! You were plannin' this aaaaaaaall along, weren't you?" She swayed slightly, and Tavros' hand on her shoulder steadied her. How much had she drank?

"Blackmail? Pffsh. Hell no."

Dave reached up and took off his sunglasses, folding them calmly and tucking them into the neckline of his shirt. "I'm just sayin', I've been helping you get this shit by ever since I got back. You don't got nothin' to fear from me." She seemed a little put off by his change in mannerism, and Jade nudged him lightly with her elbow. He nudged back with an impassive air.

"Look. I have business with the Seafaring Shipmaster, Cap'n Vriska, and I know that you're hauling a load for him. I also know that, based on most of the tales, he's gonna attack tonight." Murmurs rumbled through the crew behind Vriska, but silenced when she shot a venemous glare back at them.

"What's your point? You wanna sink the Midnight Sail? Fat chance," she spat, storming up to him and swaying in his face, mere inches away. This close, he thought he was going to get drunk from the fumes on her breath alone. "IIIIIIII'm not helpin' you."

He quirked an eyebrow, and poked her lightly in the forehead. She flushed deep blue as she windmilled her arms, almost falling over; righting herself, she glared down at him.

"I can pay," he said after a moment. "Handsomely." He flicked his left hand out with the TimeTable, and visibly flickered; almost immediately after, a loud crack erupted from the deck before him, and a chest laden with gold and jewels appeared amid a flash of garishly bright green. More whispers passed between the crew of the Spider's Web.

Vriska's eye widened as she stared at the mound of gold before her, the flickering light from torches held aloft by two members of the crew dancing flashes of gold across her face dimly. Her expression hardened, and she resumed her angry scowl at Dave.

"We aren't gonna be bought off by... by some failure, just so yoooooooou have a chance to fuck up again," she growled.

"The fuck?" Karkat's voice rose above the negative noise among the six crewmembers as he pushed his way through. "You fucking insane or something? There's more money in that box than what the Shipmaster offered twofold!"

Vriska rounded on him with a glare. "And your point, Vantas?" she spat, emphasizing 'point' with a flick of her hook to one of his stumpy horns. "I'm the captain here! It's me! Yoooooooou don't get to make decisions!" She almost fell into him, but righted herself.

"You're gonna get us all fuckin' killed for your goddamned pride," Karkat glowered. "When you can just take the damn money and be done with it? Are you fucking stupid, or did all that shit you drank go to your head?"

Jerking back as if she'd been visibly struck, Vriska raised her hook with an angry snarl, and whipped it toward him.

A large, strong hand caught her arm, and she swayed in Tavros' grip as he calmly whipped her around to face the rest of the crew, his grip on her hook-arm firm.

"As per the law of the sea, if the crew of a ship believes their captain to be unfit for her position, the crew can choose to elect a new captain and throw the old one in the brig," Tavros said with a confident air, his voice no longer quite as nasal as normal. Dave suppressed a chuckle. It seemed the big-horned troll was a confident drunk.

"We've heard Karkat's weigh-in on the matter; he'd rather take the money. I agree with him. All others who agree?" A chorus of 'aye' and one 'fuckin' A' came from the crowd. "All who oppose?" The ship was dead silent.

Vriska sputtered. "This... this is... s'fuckin' muuuuuuuutiny!" she managed as Tavros carefully swung her arm behind her, pulling her good arm up and crossing it with the other at the wrist. Holding her arms in place, he looked over to Karkat.

"I guess you're in charge now," He said flatly. "Where do we put her, since we don't have a brig?"

Karkat shrugged. "Toss the bitch overboard," he said noncommittally. "We don't need her."

"I'd rather you didn't," Dave spoke up as Vriska started to babble frightened pleas for mercy, her voice fading almost immediately. "There's a secure cargo room aboard the Pearl, we can leave her there."

Tavros nodded, smiling somewhat. "I wasn't going to throw her overboard anyway," he said sheepishly, and darkened as he felt all eyes on him. "She's not as bad as you guys think, she just gets like this when she's drunk." Taking a rope supplied by one of the trolls-- a short girl with a bright blue scarf tied about her head and some wicked-looking claw-like weapons hanging from her belt-- he tied Vriska's hands behind her back and hauled her over his shoulder.

"Agh, dammit, you can't do this to meeeeeeee!" Vriska snarled. "Stop it, stop it, stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stoooooooop iiiiiiiit!" she kicked at the air as Tavros gripped the rope netting that dangled from the side of the Pearl and began to climb one-handed, pegs finding purchase in the various grooves on the hull. "Striiiiiiiideeeeeeeer!"

Smiling up at Vriska as she receeded, Dave withdrew his sunglasses, flicked them open with one hand, and slid them into place. "Deal with it."

---

Aboard the Jade Pearl, Rose was dealing with an unconscious John and an unnerved Kanaya. With her companion's help, she was able to get him onto the bed after he struck his head against the doorframe when the ship pitched after reappearing; dabbing lightly at the cut on his scalp with a napkin from the table, she had Kanaya seek out some form of medical supplies, producing a roll of linen bandage from a cabinet.

Binding the wound with efficient speed, Rose cast a small healing spell on the injury, and making certain John was still breathing, got up to go find out where they'd wound up. As she opened the door, she was greeted to the sight of Captain Vriska the Eight-Eyed, dangling over the shoulder of a broad-backed shirtless troll with two peg legs, paused in the act of opening the hatch to the hold.

"Oh, uh, hello," Tavros said after a moment. "This, uh, is the way to the hold, right?"

Rose glanced over at the wolfhound, which had appeared beside the hatch unbeknownst to Tavros, and nodded. He turned his attention to the beast, and tilted his head, releasing the hatch handle and reaching out, his hand held low and limp; the wolfhound sniffed the back of his hand, then nudged it, and he began to scratch behind its' ears, a smile forming on his face.

"Becquerel will assist you in stowing the ex-captain," Dave's voice rang from the rail, and Rose turned to see him climbing up, Karkat, Sollux, and Jade in tow. At the sight of him, Vriska yowled like a feral cat.

"I'm going to tear you to pieces when I get my hand on yoooooooou!" She grunted, bucking and kicking in Tavros' grip. "You'll wish you've, you've never been born! You'll wish you went down with your damn ship!" She was becoming shrill with each passing breath.

Dave cast a pleading look to Rose, who rolled her eyes, whipping two fingers toward the nearly frothing troll and uttering a quick incantation, at which point Vriska's eye began to flutter closed. "I'm gonna... uh... I... fuckn..." She was limp in Tavros' grip and snoring loudly in seconds.

Standing, Becquerel hauled the hatch open with his teeth and began the trip down into the hold, pausing and glancing back at Tavros; as if understanding him perfectly, the peg-legged troll followed with a sigh, shifting Vriska into a more comfortable double-armed grip.

"Thank you," Dave and the two trolls said simultaneously. After a pregnant pause, Dave beckoned toward the cabin. "Shall we? We have to draw up the plans if we're going to pull this off."

As the four passed Rose and Kanaya, Karkat glanced down at her bare feet before levelling a sneer at Rose. "I actually might think you're not such a useless bitch after all," He snarked, and she frowned.

For an instant, Karkat's hand flashed pink, and whipped up to swat him square across the face with a yelp. Rubbing the self-inflicted injury, he stared incredulously at Rose as she calmly returned to the cabin, Kanaya turning her nose up at him as she glided by after her.

"Thomeday you need to learn how to thut the hell up," Sollux said flatly as walked by.

"Go throw yourself overboard, Tholluckth. That's an order."

"Kiindly go thwallow a blunderbuth, thir."

---

Dave leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. They'd argued and debated over the plan for the better part of an hour, going through five 'game plan schematics' and half an ink well, before finally deciding on a course of action. He'd planned ahead for Vantas' powerful desire to not die, but not for the combined military knowledge that Sollux and Rose of all people brought to the table.

She'd often make metaphors regarding chess, which at first didn't seem to make much sense to him. People didn't move based on set rules and restrictions. However, when she started to explain them, elaborate on how the dynamics of the various methods around which defending a king or sacrificing a pawn to expose a weakness could be retooled into naval combat, he had to concede the floor.

Regardless, they had a foolproof plan. Now, all that waited was to enact it. Dave and Jade were to wait aboard the Spider's Web, the former in hiding, the latter disguised (with a little help from Rose's magic) as Captain Vriska. When the Midnight Sail showed itself, Dave reveal himself, and offer him one chance to surrender.

If he didn't (as expected) Rose would dispell the illusion on the Pearl and the ship would plow into the Sail at full speed, fortified by magic and Becquerel's energies.

They didn't expect it to work; the Midnight Sail was powered by magic just as strong as Rose's, and she was the fastest ship anyone had ever seen. However, the plan wasn't to scuttle the ship with a head-on attack, but rather to distract.

With the TimeTable and some help from Rose's magic, Dave would charge the ship with a small army of summons at his back, while Becquerel kept the Sail from getting away with the Pearl's cannon. The crew of the Web would facilitate this with covering fire, using enchanted rifles brought up from the hold. Jade would join them just as soon as the trap was sprung while Dave went after the Deacon.

While the others went out to explain the situation to the crew, Dave remained in the cabin. John stirred after a short time, and when the Constable sat up, he waved from his seat.

"Welcome back to the living," David said with a chuckle, sipping from a goblet of vodka. Grimacing at the taste, he set it aside and retreived a canteen of water to clear his palate. "Are you feeling alright? How many fingers am I holding up?"

John squinted at him, and blinked rapidly, pushing his glasses up onto his face. "Four," He said after a moment. "One," he amended, when Dave changed his number. "Three," he followed up when it changed again, growing midly annoyed. "One," he repeated with a scowl as Dave flipped him off.

"You're doing fine, then," David said with a self-assured nod. Standing up, he capped the canteen and turned to face John, suddenly all business. "Now, what are you doing on my ship?"

John's eyes were drawn to the amber object sitting on the table. He swung his feet off of the bed and stood, slowly. "It was you," he muttered incredulously, turning his gaze up to Dave. "You stole the contraband!"

Glancing at the TurnTable, Dave rolled his eyes, dropping all pretense at being Captain Strider. "Jegus fuck, John, still on about that? Give it a rest. Why are you on the Pearl?"

Frowning, John turned his eyes to the floor. "Then... you were the one that was in the room... you were in there, and that's why Rose wanted to show me that, that trick! The thing she did with the painting! She was stalling me!" His voice began to rise. "She was working with you the whole time! She tricked me! She... lied to me..." his voice faded again as his hands balled up, his knuckles going white.

"John, there are forces at work far larger than you know," Dave started, holding up a hand in a placating gesture. He seemed to find himself doing that often lately. "I needed this thing, and I still do. I don't have time to explain everything, but I need you to trust me--"

"TRUST you? Trust YOU? You 'lost' Casey! You tricked me and took the contraband from my room! You turned Rose against me! And my sister! How the hell do you think I should trust you? How do I know you're not just fucking with me while your whole goddamn crew of... of pirates ransacks the port? How do I know--"

"BECAUSE," Dave shouted over John, "We're not in the fucking port anymore! Don't believe me?" He stormed to the back window, flipped the clasp and slid them open forcefully. "Look for your own damn self!"

John followed, staring out the window at the dark waters below. Everywhere he could see from the window was water, no land in sight; clouds obscured the moon overhead, pregnant with rain and waiting to burst.

"Shit's going down that you have no fucking idea about, Egbert, and I ain't got time to fuck around with you," Dave snapped, slamming the windows shut hard enough to rattle them. "Either you're going to cooperate with me, or I'm going to knock the shit out of you and wake you up when all this is over. Make your choice."

"This... this is treason!" John snarled, and Dave threw his hands up with an exasperated groan. "Oh, yeah, big fuckin' deal, treason on the high seas, bluh bluh, my best friend's a fucking pirate. Get the fuck over yourself." He jabbed John in the chest with a finger for emphasis. "This shit's bigger than you, bigger than the isles, bigger than the queen, and bigger than the fucking world." Another jab. "Either you're helping me, or you're dead weight in the bunk. Choose."

John said nothing, glaring furiously back at Dave, their faces mere inches apart. He could practically feel the heat rising off of the Constable's face. "I'm sorry I'm being so pissy about this, but there isn't much time left to explain," Dave said, taking a deep breath and stepping back. "We're planning to sink the Midnight Sail--"

"--are you insane!?" John shrilled in a falsetto tone, and Dave held up one hand, an warning expression on his face. "We're planning to ambush and sink the Midnight Sail when it shows up to try and sink the Spider's Web in a little while. That ship is the reason for all this, and the reason the Sweet Catch, and the Plush Rump, sank."

John's anger melted at the mention of the late elder Strider's ship, and Dave nodded. "Yeah, you heard me. The Shipmaster of the Midnight Sail has been the one sinking the ships that take on his order. He scuttles the ship, has his Deacon work some magic to get the contraband off of the sea floor, and petitions some other idiot for the job."

"But why?" John asked, sitting down hard on the bench next to the window.

Dave shook his head. "Doesn't have to pay, gets the cargo off the mainland for a fistful of gold, doesn't have to deal with docking fees and inspections, and makes a mint off of the contraband, selling it to god knows where."

The room was silent for a few moments while Dave allowed that fact to sink in. Picking up the TurnTable, he watched the vinyl immediately jump to its' idle spin speed, and looked back to John.

"The reason I had to steal this from you was because it's a magical artifact from another world," he began, walking back to the constable and holding it where he could observe the spinning disc. "It allows the manipulation of a person's sense of time. If I make it spin faster, I move faster and everything else seems to move slower. If I slow it down, the world speeds up around me."

John looked perplexed. "From another world? Dave, I don't think--" A flick of his wrist, and Dave sped up, John's words halting immediately.

Calmly, he walked to the door, opened it, and walked out, taking a stroll along the deck of the Pearl. Frozen in time, Karkat and Sollux were apparently in the middle of a rather close talk at the aft of the ship, the troll girl with the blue head-scarf watching from a safe hiding place and jotting down notes in a weathered notebook with a small stick of coal wrapped in paper.

Just out of the hold, Tavros was in the middle of tripping over the top step with an armload of guns; Jade was reaching out in dismay, while Rose stood nearby enchanting a small stack of muskets, Kanaya watching with a guarded look of both interest and something more hidden within.

Taking the moment to properly balance Tavros on his own two feet and stack the guns in a teepee, Dave walked down into the hold.

Down below, a long-horned troll with white face-paint was calmly rebuking a furious argument from the troll opposite him, whose jagged horns almost matched his. The other troll had a rather wicked looking musket on his back, and had a deep violet sash wrapped around his neck like a scarf that matched the slicked back streak of purple in his hair.

Walking a few rooms over, he found his way to the locked door that Vriska had been left behind. He opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind him before bringing himself back to normal speed.

Laying on her side, Vriska had a golden butterknife and was sawing feebly at the rope that bound her hands, glaring at the wall and uttering a series of progressingly angrier epithets. Unaware of Dave's sudden arrival, she continued to saw away.

"Aaaaaaaargh! Fucking dammit!" She growled when he tugged the butterknife from her hand, and began to pat at the floor behind her. Smirking, he reached down and hooked the knife in the rope, and with a quick, hard pull, snapped her bonds.

"What the--" She half-rolled over to stare at him in surprise. He just smirked at her and waggled the butterknife before flipping it over his shoulder to land in one of the piles of gold utensils in the small room, and stood up. "Think you might be willing to cooperate? I can always truss you up like a pig if you really want to be a bother."

Rubbing at her wrist, Vriska glared at him. "The hell are you up to?" she grumbled, sitting up as he walked back to the door.

"We have a plan, and it's basically that your crew stays on the ship and unloads on the Spider's Web while I tear up the Shipmaster's shit. If you want to be helpful, you can help us. If not, you're staying here. Your choice." He opened the door, turning to look at her.

"I'll be back in five minutes to get an answer," he said levelly, and spun up the TurnTable again before closing the door and barring it.

Walking back up the stairs, he smirked at the changes that occurred while he was talking to her: Rose was waiting for the next load of guns, Jade and Tavros were examining the teepee, Sollux and Karkat were now yelling at each other, the headscarf-girl was scribbling furiously, and clown-face and hipster-hair were nowhere to be found.

Walking back to the cabin, he opened the door to find Egbert pressing a glass to the door. Shifting him back three feet, Dave turned his head lightly and flipped the glass around, closing the door and sitting at the table before slowing back to normal time.

"--sayAAH!" John almost dropped the glass, looking around in surprise; when he spotted Dave, he blinked owlishly. "You were-- but then you-- but now you're-- how did--"

"Chill," Dave said, holding up a hand. "Like I said, time manipulation device." He picked up the TimeTable from where it floated under his left hand and rested it on the table, the amber vinyl winding down as he turned to look up at John. "So, what's your answer?"

---

When the rain began to fall, and all the players were in place, it was only a matter of time. The Pearl was cloaked and still in the water, and Dave and Jade took their places as Tavros and Vriska, some simple magic allowing Dave to appear as if he had Tavros' peg-legs. He stood at the helm, calmly guiding the ship as 'Vriska' stood behind him, adopting an aloof expression.

Dave scowled at the arrangement. He was planning to just hide somewhere, but Rose insisted on him playing the part of Tavros for realism. It wasn't that he didn't mind being bossed around, he just didn't like having to play the 'bumbling buffoon' role.

He adopted a nervous, whipped expression, making a mental note to redress Rose about the plan of disguising him as Tavros. A rather in-character headslap from 'Vriska' ('Keep the damn wheel level!') brought his forehead in contact with one of the handles on the wheel, and he uttered a Tavros-level yelp, stumbling and jerking the wheel to the right.

"Hey, watch what you're dooooooooing!" 'Vriska' snarled, using her good arm to steady him and right the wheel forcefully.

"You really should be more careful when slapping around your crew, Captain Serket," a voice sneered from behind them, and 'Tavros' stumbled slightly against the wheel, playing up the 'meek and scared' angle. 'Vriska' admirably stood her ground, frowning mightily at the Seafaring Shipmaster.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped. "Your cargo's just fine, we'll have it delivered in no time flat. We aaaaaaaare, after all, the best ship in the isles." She crossed her arms, a smug expression on her face.

"Yes, yes, the best ship, blah blah," Shipmaster snarked, his eyes squinted more than usual. "Spare me the drivel, Serket. I don't have time to play your games. We're here to take your cargo and sink you. I have a headache, so if we can skip the 'oh god why' moments and get right to the me killing you, I'd be grateful."

Dave smirked, unable to restrain himself. "Headache? WHAT, HAVE A LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK LAST NIGHT? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG[/u]?" The Shipmaster's scowl deepened, and he winced at the emphasized last word, his hands clenching. "YOU SEEM A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER, SHIPMASTER! YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS A BAD IDEA TO DRINK TOO MUCH--"

The Shipmaster's rapier was out in a flash, but Dave was ready for it, neatly parrying the attempted stab with the Caledscratch, his illusion fading immediately as he kicked the wheel, disarming the Shipmaster neatly and bringing the glowing orange blade up to his throat with a flourish.

"Miss me?" Dave said with a smirk. The Shipmaster just scowled. "So you didn't die after all, Strider. Pity. I assume you're going to kill me?"

Dave shrugged. "Maybe. Not sure. Tell me, has your magician been acting strange lately?"

"If you're insinuating that the shadow entity that has been plaguing this world has taken me over, the answer is no, captain," the Deacon supplied, stepping out of the fog and rain, which burst back to reveal the Midnight Sail floating beside the Spider's Web.

Waiting calmly at the railing were the Heavyset Bosun with his ever-present frown and the Colorful Drudge, who waved a multi-colored rag-swaddled hand at Jade, who smiled and waved back.

Dave frowned at the Deacon. "Wait, you mean you know--"

"--about the Darkness, yes. I've been observing its' attempts to acquire and manipulate a host in this world. It's not exactly something that can get past my attention." The Deacon strode calmly up to stand next to the Shipmaster, reaching down to gently direct the Caledscratch from his throat.

Growling, the Shipmaster hopped back, a dagger appearing in his hand. "What the shit are you on about, Deacon? What 'Darkness'?" He glanced back and forth amongst the group. "Fuck it, I don't have time for this shit. Fire the cannon already."

The Deacon shook his head. "We have bigger things to worry about. For instance, your crew, Strider." A wave of his hand, and the Pearl's cloak was dispelled. Jade stifled a gasp at the sight.

The white ship's hull was now flat black, and shadow smoke billowed from the sides.

---

"...there, you're all set," Rose announced, wrapping up the final layer of illusory spellwork on Dave. "I will await your command, and relay the message to Becquerel when the time is right."

Dave nodded. "Right then, guess all that's left is for us to get down to the Web." His voice tweaked to match Tavros', the only thing breaking the illusion was his laid-back, self-assured stance, and the TimeTable hovering at his side. Tucking it into the satchel at his side, he adjusted the shoulder strap and made his way for the netting to climb down, 'Vriska' following close behind.

Once they were overboard, Rose quickly drew up a focus circle and cast the illusion to hide the Jade Pearl from sight, followed by a sound-dampening spell that would allow them to sneak up even in the roughest waters. It drained her somewhat, but it was nothing compared to some of the spells she'd cast in the past.

Kanaya was fidgeting nearby, wringing her hands and repeatedly smoothing out her dress. When Rose walked up, she almost didn't seem to notice, staring off into space. Her eyes seemed... vacant, and the way she was worrying at her dress almost seemed furtive, afraid.

"Kanaya?" Rose said in a worried tone. When her companion didn't respond, she tried again, placing a hand gently on the troll's. "Kanaya, are you all right?"

She shrieked at the contact, stumbling backwards away from Rose and falling down. Rose was at her side almost immediately, her fingertips flicking about and casting small tendrils of magic to check for any sign of interference as she gently took the trembling girl in her arms. "Shh, shh, you're OK, Kanaya," she whispered, and Kanaya whimpered, clinging to Rose and burying her face in her shoulder.

Rose looked up at the sound of footsteps. Karkat crouched at her side. "She OK? Something screw up with that spell of yours?" He asked, genuine concern etched on his face. Raising an eyebrow, Rose shook her head. "I can't find anything wrong, and the spell went fine."

After a few moments, Kanaya stopped trembling. Karkat helped Rose stand her up. "I... I am not sure what... what came over me," she admitted, flushing deep green. "I felt like someone was talking to me in my mind. You woke me out of it, Mistress."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "Talking to you... what did it soud like?"

Heads turned when the hatch to the cabin swung open and John hopped out, one of Jade's muskets in hand. "I heard a scream, is everything alright?" He strode quickly to Rose, pushing past Karkat, who snapped a curse at being brushed aside. "Is everything OK?"

"We're fine, John, thank you for your concern," She said tersely. "Please return to the cabin. Everything is under control."

John shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't want you to get hurt, Rose. You shouldn't be out here."

Rose frowned. "Your concern is touching, John, but you're in far more danger than I am. I will be fine. I have my magic and the crew to protect me. Please, go back." When John didn't budge, she sighed. "This isn't the time to be stubborn."

"I'm going to protect you whether you like it or not," John replied, taking her hand. Kanaya made a soft sort of whimpering noise, but he kept speaking. "Just because you're working with thieves and pirates doesn't mean you're safe. You're probably in more danger. Please, at least take shelter when the time comes, Rose."

Rose's frown became a look of exasperated annoyance. "John, I--"

Black exploded in his face, and he flew back, skidding on the deck. Becquerel appeared with a [fitz and teleported Rose away immediately as black smoke rose from Kanaya's hand as she drew the snub-nosed pistol from her bodice, pure blackness enveloping her eyes and body as she stepped up to John and leveled the gun at him, the hammer pulling back with a soft click.

Groaning, John sat up, addled. "What the--" he started, but the black smoke lashed out and wrapped around his legs and arms, whipping him up to hold him in the air, spread-eagle. Karkat unleashed a roar of rage and threw himself at Kanaya, but was sent flying down into the hold by an idle lash of a spectral shadow-tentacle as she sneered up at John and pointed the pistol at his head.

"Mistress... is.... mine..."

She pulled the trigger.

---

"Your friends are all under the control of the Darkness, Strider," The Deacon said flatly. "I'd been watching it attempt to use the troll consort of your sister Rose as a host for some time, and even experimented with a method to halt it by intentionally befuddling the connection, but it got through anyway. After LaLonde put up the cloaking illusion, it made its' move. I don't sense anyone left on the ship."

Dave punched the wheel of the Web with a curse. "So what the fuck do we do now," He muttered under his breath, extracting the TimeTable from the satchel at his side. The Colorful Drudge tottled up to Jade, who was clutching the railing with fear, and gave her hand a gentle, reassuring pat; after a moment of staring at the short crewman, she wrapped it in a tight hug, and it returned the gesture silently.

"What's more, I believe you might be a bit underequipped for this battle," he added. "I've seen that artifact before, but it was one of a pair. The other one was stolen by a former colleague of ours and lost in a storm." A wave of his hand, and a dozen black specters erupted from the ground around them, dark energy seething about them. "If that artifact is the 'key' to lock out this Darkness, it's almost guaranteed that the other half of the key is the other artifact."

"So what then?" Dave spat. "What are you saying? Congrats, you fucked up, we're all dead, enjoy the show? I'll save them one way or the other, and then I'll find the damn key, kick the Darkness' incorporeal ass, and that's all there is to say on the matter!" The Caledscratch erupted to full length in his grip.

The Shipmaster laughed, a long, rasping sound. "You've got a brass pair, boy. The Deacon just told you you're completely useless in this fight and you're saying you'll win anyway? Shit, I'd hire you on the spot if this 'end of the world' business weren't about to happen." Picking up his rapier, he turned to the Deacon. "Got any plans, or do I have to make all the decisions around here?"

"I do have a plan, yes," The Deacon admitted, walking up to Jade and tapping her on the shoulder. She released the Drudge reluctantly, and followed him over to Dave.

"Put that pigsticker away, boy," he muttered, gesturing to the Caledscratch. Frowning, Dave banished the blade. "So what's this 'plan' then? Surrender?"

"Yes, and no," The Deacon admitted, and reached out to place a hand on Dave's forehead. He felt a strange chill run through his body as the Deacon did the same to Jade, and dark violet shadows played on the edges of their vision.

"You and your little friend here are in this world as visitors from another plane. If there's anything I've learned about planar destiny, one way or another you're gonna wind up here again if you don't finish the job here today. Hell, you may wind up here a week ago. So, I'm going to send you back to your plane of existence.

When you do eventually wind up here again, it won't be as these two. If you're lucky, the world won't be dead when you get here. Regrdless, you'll be able to seek out the other artifact, the one that allows travel through time." Violet flame played about their feet and began to rise, enveloping them.

"Use it to get here. I'll leave the memories of this world's version of you intact so that he'll know what to do when you show up out of nowhere and give him the other artifact," The Deacon finished. "In the meantime, the rest of us are going to probably have to kill your friends. Sorry about that." Before either had a chance to protest, the flames devoured them completely, and they disappeared.

Turning to the Shipmaster, the Deacon gestured forward. "You've been complaining that nobody ever puts up a fight." As he spoke, six entities enveloped in blackness erupted from the top of the Jade Pearl, arcing down to strike the deck of the Spider's Web. Six shadow-bound trolls rose menacingly, hate and anger in their expressions. "Ever wanted to kill an elder god?"

The Shipmaster cackled, whipping out a black cutlass to match the rapier as the Deacon's shadow soldiers leapt to his side.
With the laughter of a madman finally pushed over the edge, he struck forth.

---

Dave sat up abruptly in darkness with a gasp, Jade reacting the same in his arms. After a moment's staring at each other, they both flopped back on his bed with a simultaneous exasperated sigh, staring up at the ceiling of his room.

"Fuckin' hell," Dave grumbled.

"I wasn't expecting that either," Jade replied, and pressed a hand to her eyes. "We screwed up." Opening one eye, she frowned at her hand, examining a ring that hadn't been there before, an ornate band topped with three sapphires.

"Don't know whether I want to kill the bastard or thank him," Dave grumbled, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes. "I mean, if he's right, we've got a second chance. If he's wrong, we're fucked, unless there's another world between that one and this one." When Jade didn't respond, he opened one eye. "Jade?"

"Dave?" She said in a nervous whisper, and he looked up at the ring on her finger.

"The hell's that?" He muttered.

"...an engagement ring."

Silence.

"...huh. Go me."

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AND VODKA MUTINY IS DONE! Now to do some maintenance on my Ao3 account in the morning.

Take the ending for what you will.

Next up on Hearts Across Time: After-School Special!

That better not be the final chapter.

I swear to Jegus if that is the final chapter...

[VagabondRaiser]

WORDS

That better not be the final chapter.

I swear to Jegus if that is the final chapter...

Oh, trust me, there'll be more of what appears to be everybody's favorite video-game-structured Dave/Jade AU smörgåsbord.

Although the next thing I'ma be posting after I fix my Ao3 account up will likely be a 'fic that Raequiem requested over in the Romart thread when I was being my usual buttheaded self and started spewing ideas all over the place because of the awesomeness of one of her pictures. It'll also probably get posted today, as it'll be nice to work on a Trolls-centric 'fic that isn't Flavors for a bit. For some reason I have a growing urge to write Kanaya and Vriska.

[momatoes]

This isn't exactly fan fiction, but I thought it turned out Pretty Okay

It's supposed to be a collection of answering machine messages, on the fateful day that the meteors fell. The callers and the recipients are mostly normal people, with normal lives, who suddenly find themselves in the midst of an apocalypse.

OK, roll it:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Please leave your message after the beep.
BEEEEP

* * *

John! Hey, John are you there? You gotta hear this. Our school's on fire! OUR SCHOOL IS ON FIRE! This is, like, THE greatest shit ever! 'K, call me later! click

* * *

Um, so hey. Greg here. Ah, hahaha, I just sort of learned that I'm pretty fucked by this giant meteor. Like, I'm just trying my best to enjoy my weekend and what the hell meteors everywhere. I - uhrm, ah, hahaha, it's fucking funny right? It's... It's... ... You know what? Fuck you. Fuck your face. Fuck everyone. click

* * *

Important business: tie just got singed, damage potentially permanent. No replacements could be found. Advice is needed, thank you. click


* * *

Lindsey? Lindsey, this is Mommy. If you can hear this, follow my instructions perfectly. I need you to get your brother and hide in the basement. OK? There ... there will be large explosions, DO NOT BE SCARED, okay baby? I'm, I'm going home baby, everything's going to be alright. I just need you to be safe, okay? Oh god. Oh god. OK, I just...want to say that I really love y - click


* * *

This is, I suppose, a doomed missive. But I believe it is needed. It's the only closure I can have, one that is possible in this ...situation.

Nobody had ever wanted it to be this way, Lalonde. As the meteors rage against the burning earth, I look back to the beginning of it all. Of Sburb. What beautiful aspirations we had then! Why did we have fun then, Lalonde? When even then we knew that we were mere puppets serving the deft movements of an unseen lord?

Now there is nothing left of this world. In a few years, the desert sands will smother all traces of our existence.

I doubt that you will ever hear my message. There is nobody alive who sits by their telephone and indulges the whim of a defeated man. You would have fled to the safety of Skaia. Still. I - I shall miss you, more than you have ever known or suspected.

Now, the only words left are farewell, Lalonde...fare...well. click

* * *

Hey, how are you! The morning light looks so beautiful here today. I wish you could see it.

Um, anyways, that's it! Pretty short, huh? Hahaha, don't forget, 3 pm at the front of the coffee shop! I'm really looking forward to it. Today is going to be a perfect day!




click

* * *

[Isoraqathedh]

Blarp

http://pasaruconworld.wikia.com/wiki...ies_Chapter_13

[orngjce223]

Please leave your message after the beep

You know...

Hussie never really did drive home the fact that it's an apocalypse, to me. You did that. Admirably.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Hey does anyone remember a million years ago when DocBeard suggested a John/Rose week?

Apparently I do!

Crisis Averted

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ectoBiologist [EB] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

EB: hey rose!
EB: sorry, i forgot something.
TT: What is it?
EB: i just meant to ask you…
EB: have you been hearing a lot from the trolls lately?
TT: Yes, their temporally misplaced communications have become more frequent.
TT: Although their hostility has decreased just as severely.
EB: it's the same with me.
EB: some of them are still kind of jerks, but they’re helping me out at least.
TT: I believe I have developed a rapport with one of them.
TT: We’ve set up a mutual exchange of information that has proved quite beneficial.
EB: yeah, one of them has been really friendly to me!
EB: like, in a sort of weird way.
TT: What do you mean?
EB: i dunno, just…
EB: she acts all goofy and nice to me.
EB: and i don’t know how to feel about it.
TT: Oh.
TT: It’s a female troll, you say?
EB: uhhh assuming that their weird alien genders even work the same…
EB: yeah, i think so.
TT: I see.
EB: why?
TT: Just curious.
EB: oh geeze rose, if i were you i’d be having a field day with that.
EB: being all nosy and wanting to know what you’re hiding!
TT: I suppose I am fortunate that you are not me, then.
EB: hehe yeah i guess.
EB: whatever your reason is i’m sure it’s a good one, so i don’t have to ask!
TT: Thank you, John.
EB: uhhh don’t mention it?
TT: So what have you and this troll been talking about?
EB: she’s just been helping me do things to save jade and get through the game.
EB: like telling me where to find my server disk.
TT: That is rather charitable of her.
EB: yeah, like I said, she’s been really nice.
EB: plus she’s pretty silly.
EB: i like talking to her actually, it’s way more fun than dealing with angry jerks or tricky blind girls.
EB: between you and me, i think she’s being a little flirty.
TT: …
EB: huh?
TT: Sorry.
TT: I just think you should be careful, John.
TT: One of the trolls already deceived you once.
TT: We wouldn’t want that to happen again.
EB: right…
TT: So how do you feel about her then?
TT: After all, stranger romances have happened.
EB: okay firstly i don’t think that could possibly be true.
EB: she is an alien from a different universe that helped make ours who thinks we ruined things for her and her friends, apparently has weird mind powers, and is from the future or something.
EB: what is stranger than that?
TT: I’ll admit that was a rather unfitting usage of a common expression.
EB: secondly...
EB: i’m kind of glad we won’t actually meet the trolls!
EB: she’s fun to talk to but also really bossy.
EB: and she’s nice overall but she has this meanness to her too.
EB: like you’ve got to be careful around her or else!
EB: so i hope i’m just imagining things.
TT: Oh, alright then.
TT: Yes, that is probably for the best.
EB: haha, yeah.
EB: i’d rather be with someone that’s more than just fun to talk to!
EB: someone i trust a whole lot, and that i care about.
EB: you know what i mean?
TT: Yes.
TT: I know exactly what you mean.
EB: anyway…
TT: Anyway?
EB: well, i’m just wondering if you’re okay.
EB: you sounded weird last time we talked…
TT: No need to worry, John. I’m fine.
TT: Well…
TT: Something started bothering me very recently.
TT: But I believe I feel much better about it now.
EB: oh, that’s good!
EB: i’m glad to hear it.
TT: I am quite busy, though.
TT: My quest to uncover what I can about this game while destroying the very fabric of its existence is tiring work.
EB: um okay well i guess i’ll talk to you later.
EB: bye rose!
TT: Goodbye, John.
TT: And thank you.
EB: for what?
TT: Being you.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

That was really cute; I like the light touch you gave to the entire piece. It made the pesterlog very believable.

[raequiem]

show spoiler

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Please leave your message after the beep.
BEEEEP

* * *

John! Hey, John are you there? You gotta hear this. Our school's on fire! OUR SCHOOL IS ON FIRE! This is, like, THE greatest shit ever! 'K, call me later! click

* * *

Um, so hey. Greg here. Ah, hahaha, I just sort of learned that I'm pretty fucked by this giant meteor. Like, I'm just trying my best to enjoy my weekend and what the hell meteors everywhere. I - uhrm, ah, hahaha, it's fucking funny right? It's... It's... ... You know what? Fuck you. Fuck your face. Fuck everyone. click

* * *

Important business: tie just got singed, damage potentially permanent. No replacements could be found. Advice is needed, thank you. click


* * *

Lindsey? Lindsey, this is Mommy. If you can hear this, follow my instructions perfectly. I need you to get your brother and hide in the basement. OK? There ... there will be large explosions, DO NOT BE SCARED, okay baby? I'm, I'm going home baby, everything's going to be alright. I just need you to be safe, okay? Oh god. Oh god. OK, I just...want to say that I really love y - click


* * *

This is, I suppose, a doomed missive. But I believe it is needed. It's the only closure I can have, one that is possible in this ...situation.

Nobody had ever wanted it to be this way, Lalonde. As the meteors rage against the burning earth, I look back to the beginning of it all. Of Sburb. What beautiful aspirations we had then! Why did we have fun then, Lalonde? When even then we knew that we were mere puppets serving the deft movements of an unseen lord?

Now there is nothing left of this world. In a few years, the desert sands will smother all traces of our existence.

I doubt that you will ever hear my message. There is nobody alive who sits by their telephone and indulges the whim of a defeated man. You would have fled to the safety of Skaia. Still. I - I shall miss you, more than you have ever known or suspected.

Now, the only words left are farewell, Lalonde...fare...well. click

* * *

Hey, how are you! The morning light looks so beautiful here today. I wish you could see it.

Um, anyways, that's it! Pretty short, huh? Hahaha, don't forget, 3 pm at the front of the coffee shop! I'm really looking forward to it. Today is going to be a perfect day!




click

* * *

I think it's really easy, sometimes, to forget that there are more than seven people on the whole planet. We ignore the masses of strangers simply because we don't know their story as intimately as we do the kids'. I think this fic really has an important message - just because they don't affect your life, doesn't mean you don't affect theirs. And for someone completely unrelated to Sburb, the pending apocalypse is that much more terrifying because there's not even any kind of semi-logical reasoning behind it.

tl;dr Good fic, the fourth one and the last one both made me bawl like a very small child. I WANT YOU TO WRITE MORE NOW OKAY? OKAY.

[momatoes]

orngejce223 (oh god where did the vowels go) and raequiem, thanks a bunch

Yeah, I did find it weird that even the kids got over the end of the world pretty well. You'd think that losing their school and friends would have made it pretty rough :/

Um, anyway, thanks again. I shall lurk in this thread! Everyone's posting such good quality work, it's really cool!

[VagabondRaiser]

orngejce223 (oh god where did the vowels go) and raequiem, thanks a bunch

Yeah, I did find it weird that even the kids got over the end of the world pretty well. You'd think that losing their school and friends would have made it pretty rough :/

Um, anyway, thanks again. I shall lurk in this thread! Everyone's posting such good quality work, it's really cool!

Do not lurk! Post! Spread your authorative wings and fly!

We can never get enough good writing in here.

[Metaflare]

VR. VR I apologise but I must remove the writing section of your brain to create the perfect android. THE PERFECT ANDROID CANNOT BE MADE WITHOUT PERFECT FICS

[VagabondRaiser]

VR. VR I apologise but I must remove the writing section of your brain to create the perfect android. THE PERFECT ANDROID CANNOT BE MADE WITHOUT PERFECT FICS

You can have it when I've finished Impermanence, Flavors, and written this shortfic for Raequiem. I'm kinda backlogged on usage at the moment.

Er... you might be waiting a while.

[raequiem]

VR, I'm just gonna kinda stalk the thread until you post it. Just thought you should know how anxiously I'm awaiting this fic, as I've been hooked on the premise since you first mentioned it.

So yeah. No pressure.

[Solaris]

there is room for there to be some random guy in the medium because he was walking up the stairs when Dave entered.

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The Tale of Jim Jonah Jones

It was yet another unbearably hot day and Jim J. Jones, the tenant of the penultimate floor of this Texan apartment was doing what he did almost perpetually.
Complain about the Strider Brothers.
"Well, I'm sorry that they be bother'in you, but I can't help ya out. I owe that Strider boy more than you know, he can do what he wants. I gave you a discount for a reason.
"But this was ridiculous! I heard explosions! And I think a sword flew out the window! And isn't that kids dj stuff noise pollution? I can usually deal with it, I just need some peace and quiet for once or I can't finish this article!"
"Hmm, tell ya what, why don't you just ask them? They won't bite."
"Uggh, I guess I'll just go back to trying to work."
Suffice to say, it didn't. There was a series of loud shakes, and he thought he heard a crash!
And he just couldn't take it anymore!
He ran up the stairs only to reach the front door of the Strider Abode only to hear a loud explosion.
And then, a blinding light.

When Jimmy regained his eyesight he could not believe what he saw.
As he looked down the stairs, he did not see and endless downward spiral, hell, he didn't see more than 10 steps.
Everything after that was just red and gray as far as he could see. Not that it was much anyway, the heat blurred his vision even more than that weird light.
"Where the fuck am I? Grah, stupid Strider's! What do I do?"
Just then, Jim saw it. An amber yellow creature of indescribable features, flying straight towards him.
"OH GOD WHAT IS THAT"
He ducked as the creature flew right past him, scraping him a bit with... "A s-s-sword? In its chest? Where the fu-!?"
The creature returned once more this time from behind, and pushed Jim off the stairs.
"AAAAAAHHHHH," he yelled out in terror as he fell into the sea of lava below, to his unavoidable death.

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Jim awoke on one of LoHaC's gears, surprised at this completely and utterly unforeseen event. "Uhhh, where am I... Wait, how did I..."
"Yo, Jim," said a young man, his eyes covered by his trademark Shades.
"St-St-Strider?" Jim sat up, surprised at these developments. "I fell, into lava, I mean, I was about to, how did.. did you?"
"Don't mention it Jim, I shouldn't have dragged you into it in the first place, but now that you are here... we kinda need you." Bro Strider took jim by the hand and helped him stand up
"What? Need me? Need me for what? I don't even know where I am!"
"Yeah.. see that's the thing, it's hard to explain, better to just tell you that you aren't home, and we aren't going back anytime soon. But, we can get you a nice alternative if you promise to help us out?"
"Uhh, well I don't think I have much of a choice now, do I? I guess so.."
"Oh c'mon chin up, let's do this shit, now I just have someone I want you to meet, she'll give you all of the details...."

yeap. May or may not elaborate.

[momatoes]

there is room for there to be some random guy in the medium because he was walking up the stairs when Dave entered.

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hide spoiler

The Tale of Jim Jonah Jones

It was yet another unbearably hot day and Jim J. Jones, the tenant of the penultimate floor of this Texan apartment was doing what he did almost perpetually.
Complain about the Strider Brothers.
"Well, I'm sorry that they be bother'in you, but I can't help ya out. I owe that Strider boy more than you know, he can do what he wants. I gave you a discount for a reason.
"But this was ridiculous! I heard explosions! And I think a sword flew out the window! And isn't that kids dj stuff noise pollution? I can usually deal with it, I just need some peace and quiet for once or I can't finish this article!"
"Hmm, tell ya what, why don't you just ask them? They won't bite."
"Uggh, I guess I'll just go back to trying to work."
Suffice to say, it didn't. There was a series of loud shakes, and he thought he heard a crash!
And he just couldn't take it anymore!
He ran up the stairs only to reach the front door of the Strider Abode only to hear a loud explosion.
And then, a blinding light.

When Jimmy regained his eyesight he could not believe what he saw.
As he looked down the stairs, he did not see and endless downward spiral, hell, he didn't see more than 10 steps.
Everything after that was just red and gray as far as he could see. Not that it was much anyway, the heat blurred his vision even more than that weird light.
"Where the fuck am I? Grah, stupid Strider's! What do I do?"
Just then, Jim saw it. An amber yellow creature of indescribable features, flying straight towards him.
"OH GOD WHAT IS THAT"
He ducked as the creature flew right past him, scraping him a bit with... "A s-s-sword? In its chest? Where the fu-!?"
The creature returned once more this time from behind, and pushed Jim off the stairs.
"AAAAAAHHHHH," he yelled out in terror as he fell into the sea of lava below, to his unavoidable death.

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Jim awoke on one of LoHaC's gears, surprised at this completely and utterly unforeseen event. "Uhhh, where am I... Wait, how did I..."
"Yo, Jim," said a young man, his eyes covered by his trademark Shades.
"St-St-Strider?" Jim sat up, surprised at these developments. "I fell, into lava, I mean, I was about to, how did.. did you?"
"Don't mention it Jim, I shouldn't have dragged you into it in the first place, but now that you are here... we kinda need you." Bro Strider took jim by the hand and helped him stand up
"What? Need me? Need me for what? I don't even know where I am!"
"Yeah.. see that's the thing, it's hard to explain, better to just tell you that you aren't home, and we aren't going back anytime soon. But, we can get you a nice alternative if you promise to help us out?"
"Uhh, well I don't think I have much of a choice now, do I? I guess so.."
"Oh c'mon chin up, let's do this shit, now I just have someone I want you to meet, she'll give you all of the details...."

yeap. May or may not elaborate.

This is awesome. Go Jim!

[Wigmund]

The Tale of Jim Jonah Jones

yeap. May or may not elaborate.

Jim is obviously the most important character in Homestuck. We must hear more about this brave hero.

[VagabondRaiser]

Wealp, I feel like a doofus. Tried to take a twenty minute nap at five yesterday, woke up at two in the morning. On the upside, I almost finished chapter two of this, so that'll be done at some point today.

Without further ado, I present yet another attempt at making an ass out of myself:

Flights of Fancy, Chapter One: Visitor

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It wasn't uncommon, nor unexpected, for Kanaya to have to deal with the problems of the other trolls; she was a tried-and-true auspistice at heart, after all. She had mediated when Tavros and Aradia cooperated to terrorize Vriska as a sort of 'payback', helping her eight-eyed former crush get over the shock of finally feeling what it was like to no longer be in control.

She had mediated more than a few arguments between Karkat and Sollux in the past, as well. From their bickering over whose horns were shorter (she redressed Terezi for starting that one quite soundly) to arguments over whether Sollux had eaten Karkat's serving of the human food called 'spaghetti' out of the refrigeration unit in the kitchen, and everything in between, she kept them from strangling one another.

As a mediator, negotiator, and general organizer of the goings-on about the laboratory, Kanaya was unmatched. She could find a way to take charge of any situation that came up and get everyone under control and calmed down; some days she was the only reason anything ever got done around the lab, and she was proud of it. The realm of all things rational was her kingdom.

This, of course, meant that when an unfamiliar troll with pale skin and long, sloping horns appeared before her in her room as she awoke one morning, bearing a sleeping pink-clad human in his arms, and proceeded to dump her on the bed, snap a salute, and disappear with a resounding pop of pink light, she could be excused for assuming she was still asleep and curling up underneath the covers.

That sort of thing didn't happen, after all. A troll with skin like a human's was a strange enough concept, but the idea of said troll depositing a slumbering Rose Lalonde on her bed was absurd. Impossible, even by the standards of any recalibrated Inane Horseshit Meter, whether for Flighty Broads or Bored Writers.

The dream-entity uttered an unintelligible noise in her sleep, squirmed around, and buried her face in Kanaya's stomach through the bedsheet, throwing an arm around the warm body and cuddling close. Kanaya allowed herself a moment's indulgence in her dream, gently feathering her hands through the silken blonde hair on her head.

There was a knock at the door, followed shortly by the door opening and Vriska poking her head in.

"Heeeeeeeey Kanaya, you awake?" she chirped, blinking sleepily. It'd become habit for her to visit Kanaya in the morning before their group convened to troll the humans.

"Mm," came the response from the bed. "I appear to be having a pleasant dream at the moment, Vriska, please do not wake me just yet."

Blinking owlishly, Vriska stepped into the room, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at the human.

"Kanaya."

"Mm?"

"Why is that Rose girl sleeping in your bed?"

"You are just part of the dream too then?"

"Kanaya, wake up." Scrunching her face up, Kanaya opened one eye, affixing Vriska with a sleepy glower.

"Fine, I am awake. What is it?" She mumbled, sitting up and stretching. The action caused Rose to stir, and the blonde girl arched her back like a cat, uttering a soft sigh of contentment and sitting up.

Kanaya opened her eyes to find Rose's face mere inches from hers. After a few moments, a deep green flush began to spread.

"Dreaming, huh?" Vriska muttered, turning to leave the room. "Wake me up when you do."

After a few moments, Rose seemed to tire of examining Kanaya's eyes, and sat back, looking down and plucking idly at a stray thread on the bedsheet in a manner that reminded the troll of Nepeta's occasional fidgeting. Purely out of reflex, she gave the human's hand a gentle but firm slap. "Stop that."

Rose yanked her hand to her chest and cradled it like a wounded featherbeast, an expression of shock and fear on her face.
She abruptly scurried back on the bed with her 'uninjured' hand, almost falling off of the foot of the bed and curling herself into a ball, watching Kanaya with a look of sheer animalistic terror and appearing to try for all she was worth to encase herself in her own arms without causing personal harm.

Frowning, Kanaya rubbed at her eyes. If she was awake, reality was playing a rather cruel joke on her. "Rose?" She said after a moment, and the human's head shot up, fear slain by surprise and curiosity.

"You are Rose, correct?" Kanaya ventured, and Rose tilted her head slightly at the repetition of her name. Memories of how animals occasionally react when being addressed in a way that they do not understand came unbidden to Kanaya's thoughts, and she found herself wondering just how much background work Trollian did for the sake of conversational complacency.

"Do you not understand my language, Rose?" She started to crawl toward the human, slowly, ignoring her lack of proper dress for the time being. While making contact with an alien species was ostensibly best made while wearing more than a spaghetti-strap and panties, if her assumption was correct, then she needed to get a handle on the situation soon before something went wrong.

Besides that, 'first contact' had already been made when she ran her hand through Rose's hair. A flush formed on her face when that realization struck, but she ignored the feeling of warmth in the pit of her stomach for the situation at hand.

When Rose began to withdraw again, she stopped, and slowly reached out, her hand held low and loose, a gesture of submissive, unthreatening interest. When the human didn't shy away from her hand, she held up two fingers, the classic sign of victory. "Rose. Do you understand what I am saying? What is this number?"

Rose tilted her head at her name, but did nothing.

Kanaya sighed, and sat back, letting her hand fall. "Then you do not understand me," she concluded, and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady her thoughts. She needed to take stock of the situation.

From what she had seen before, the differences between human and troll society were mostly structural. They had 'toilets', 'bathtubs', 'refrigerators', and all manner of other objects and similarities, their technology more mechanical than organic. Save for different views on the concepts of relation, parenting, and emotion, they weren't all that different.

The likelihood of a difference in language was rather slim, especially considering the trolls were able to communicate with the humans via the chat program, Trollian. From what she had seen, they had a different written language, although the letters matched up in number and apparent structure; humans simply wrote backwards.

However, as intelligent as Rose was, or at least seemed to be, Kanaya could not get her mind around the idea that the human would be frightened by a light slap on the wrist or an unfamiliar face. What's more, she should've recognized an attempt at utilizing mathematics as a form of base communication.

If she was unable to recognize mathematics despite showing a talent for far more complex concepts in her SBURB session, Kanaya was forced to assume something had damaged the human's memory, or the logical connections of her mind. Had she perhaps cast one too many spells? Heard the whispers of the Dark Gods from the Beyond one too many times?

She opened her eyes to find the human invading her personal space and attempting to peer curiously down the front of her spaghetti strap, a slender pink finger hooked in the soft fabric to aid in her examination.

Resisting the kneejerk reaction to push the human away, she gently clasped her hand around Rose's, idly marveling at how soft and warm she was. Rose looked up at her with a look of surprise, but didn't pull away, instead looking down to their joined hands with open curiosity.

Tentatively, she turned Kanaya's hand this way and that, examining the pale gray carapace-flesh of the troll. She gently spread her fingers, examining the nails on the tips of her fingers, the way her fingers bent, how the hand linked to her arm. If Kanaya weren't worried for the state of Rose's mind, she'd find the examination both entertaining and endearing.

"If I did not know any better, I would believe you were acting purely on instinct," she muttered as Rose pressed her hand to Kanaya's, examining their similarity in size and structure. Rose tilted her hand and closed her fingers around the back of Kanaya's, and a deep flush returned to the troll's face at the intimacy of the gesture.

"Rrright you arrre!" An echo of a voice, as if heard at the end of a long tunnel, reached Kanaya's ears.

A bright flash of pink at the corner of her vision drew Kanaya's attention to the lone chair in her room. Following her gaze, Rose abruptly released her hand and scrambled to get behind her, peeking out over her shoulder at the stranger in the chair.

He somewhat resembled an older human at first glance, his pale skin and shaggy dark red hair a sharp contrast to the green drapes behind him; however, the orange horns extending from just above his hairline to curve back along the top of his head into a point at the back were a fairly clear sign that he wasn't human.

The stranger didn't seem to have much fashion sense either, wearing a pair of worn denim cutoff shorts, leather sandals, and a dark blue tee-shirt with what appeared to be a sleeveless zippered hoodie a shade of pink that was rather close to hitting the ultraviolet range, his hands bound in worn black fingerless gloves and steepled before him, one ankle propped on the other leg's knee. The smirk on his face gave her chills.

"Suppose you're wonderrrin' who I am, and why therrre's a human in yourrr bed," he said after a moment, a low tenor voice with a slightly nasal quality to it hammering home the gender impression. Kanaya snatched up her bedsheet, throwing it up around herself, and the visitor chuckled, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees.

"People might start complainin' if I stick arrround too long, so I'll be brrrief. Some interrrestin' stuff's goin' down elsewherrre in the multi-verrrse, and frrrom what I ha-ve been told, I'm the cause. Rrregarrrdless, that's not much of a help to yourrr situation, aye?" He pointed at the human cowering behind Kanaya, and Rose uttered a squeak of fear, ducking out of sight.

"Herrre's the deal: I needed herrr help forrr somethin', but when we werrre all done with it, herrr memorrries got scrrrambled. Until she's strrraightened out, we can't do a damn thing to fix the prrroblem, y'see, and I don't have the time to play babysitterrr, aye? So, I'm leavin' herrr herrre, in yourrr capable hands," he concluded, holding his hands out palm-up.

Kanaya frowned. "So you mean to tell me that you used her for your own devices, and until she is returned to... normal, you will have nothing to do with her?" A sick feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. This person reminded her in some way of the individual who had cost Vriska her eye and arm.

"Verrrily," he said with a smile, and stood, clonking his head on the low ceiling and barking an epithet, his hands darting to his horns.

"Frrreakin' shorrrt people," he muttered. "Why you all gotta be kids when all the fun stuff's goin' down?" Before Kanaya had a chance to ask what he meant, he held up four fingers, the half-smirk eschewed in favor of an all-business blank stare.

"Fourrr days, Kanaya. S'all I need you to watch herrr forrr. Can you do that? She's still intelligent, she just needs time forrr herrr memorrries to rrrestrrructurrre themsel-ves. Until then, she's rrrunnin' on purrre id. She should be able to access herrr knowledge if you can dirrrect herrr, though." His orange eyes watched her impassively, waiting for an answer.

Kanaya turned to look at Rose, who had wormed her way up under the bedsheet and was peeking at him over the edge across Kanaya's shoulder. Upon realizing she was being watched, she gave Kanaya a small, open smile, and cuddled up against her before locking her eyes on the strange not-quite-troll.

After a moment, Kanaya looked back to the visitor and nodded. "I believe I will accept your request," She said coolly. "But I believe, as the humans say, 'you owe me one.' What is your name? What are you?"

He shrugged, smirking. "Heh. Suppose I owe you that much just forrr the visit." He turned around, and the black symbol of Mu revealed itself on the back of his hoodie as pink began to flicker about his frame.

"A-vid authorrr and amateurrr musician. Some call me Tagelo Verrrbos," he said after a moment, and a deep violet backwards cap appeared on his head under his horns, a pair of black sunglasses reminiscent of welding goggles covering his eyes as he grinned at her over his shoulder.

"Most call me Raiser."

With a flash brighter than the previous ones, he was gone.

Kanaya frowned at the pink steam rising from the floor just in front of her chair for a few moments, before directing her attention to Rose, who had made herself comfortable against her and was snuggling contently into her shoulder.

The troll sighed. She'd hoped beyond reason for a chance to meet, and here she had Rose all to herself and the human's mind was as empty as the void.

It was going to be a long four days.

Oh yeah. I went there.

[raequiem]

Rose is so snuggly-adorable. Oh and also there are plotty plot things happening? I am excited and curious.

More? Pretty pretty please?

[VagabondRaiser]

Rose is so snuggly-adorable. Oh and also there are plotty plot things happening? I am excited and curious.

More? Pretty pretty please?

Because you asked so nicely.

Flights of Fancy, Chapter Two: Exposition

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Having properly dressed herself-- a matter made all the more complicated by Rose getting into her wardrobe and entertaining herself with the contents of her underwear drawer-- Kanaya took stock of her situation. She'd been propositioned by an otherworldly being to act as Rose's temporary guardian for four days' time. She had to assume the other trolls were unaware of the matter.

The other trolls... That would be a bit harder to handle than just watching over a human. Vriska was aware of Rose being there, but save for her, the rest of the trolls had no idea. With the amount of time that'd passed, Vriska was likely either already telling the others about Rose or about to; hiding her wouldn't work out too well.

Karkat would be furious, but then again, he was always furious about something. But no, this time their self-appointed 'leader' was going to be extruding pure liquid rage when he found out. She would have to do some fast talking to explain the situation to him, and hope he understood.

Then there were the others. Tavros, Gamzee, and Sollux could be expected to be reasonable; Aradia and Nepeta as well. She'd have to keep Rose away from Equius and his abnormal strength. Could she trust Terezi to behave? That was another unknown. And how would Vriska react?

"I suppose we have our work cut out for us," She said after a moment, turning to look at... nothing.

Rose was nowhere to be found.

Kanaya facepalmed.
---

Vriska yawned broadly, wandering down the halls to the kitchen. She wasn't too thrilled with the idea of trolling the humans, and she certainly didn't feel like cooperating with Karkat when he was being his usual bitchy self, but what was she to do?
Thankfully she and Kanaya had a habit of being up far earlier than everyone else. Usually they' have breakfast, she'd claim she had something important to do, and go back to sleep or spend some time in her room drawing up storylines for FLARP sessions.

Since the incident with Tavros and Aradia, she'd found herself thinking more often about what other people thought. It was a strange feeling, worrying about others' feelings, but whether it was out of pity, or if her change in attitude was causing it, the others weren't quite so mean to her.

Tavros was especially more open to her, although she had a hard time bringing herself to speak to him. Any time he'd stammer or stop short, she'd find her thoughts lapsing back to before the game was finished, when she'd attempted to get him interested in her. Everything she'd done to him was part of some asinine 'test' she'd come up with to make him like her.

She hated the old Vriska. Terezi was open and friendly to her, even after knowing what she did; save for helping Tavros, Aradia wasn't even that cold to her. Not more than she was to anyone else, anyway. And Kanaya... it was hard to decide who was hurt worse by her plot, Tavros or Kanaya. Yet, Miss Fussyfangs continued to consider her as a friend.

Digging in the cupboard, Vriska pulled out a box of some form of sugar-laden breakfast cereal with an onomatopeic name and a bowl, turning to set them on the table. Moving over to the fridge, she pulled out a bottle of lusus milk.

When she turned back, the cereal box was gone.

"What."

Frowning, Vriska looked around. There didn't seem to be anyone in the room. She peeked into the cupboard, but there wasn't anyone in there either, nor had the cereal been put back.

A rustling noise drew her attention back to the table, and she quirked an eyebrow, crouching to look under the table.

Rose froze like a deer in headlights with a piece of cereal halfway to her mouth, held in a dainty pinch.

"If you wanted some you coooooooould've just asked," she suggested. "Come out of there." Standing, she got another bowl from the cupboard, as well as a pair of spoons.

Rose crawled carefully out from under the table, setting the box next to the first bowl.

Pouring a measure of cereal, she doused it in milk and set a spoon in it, sliding it over to a vacant spot on the table. "Eat up," she said, pouring herself a bowl. Rose didn't budge, watching her like a hawk.

Perplexed by the scrutiny, Vriska returned the almost empty bottle of milk to the refrigeration unit and had a seat at the table. When she did, Rose sat down as well, mimicking her movements.

When Vriska took a bite, Rose matched it. She watched the human out of the corner of her eye as she took another bite, and set down her spoon; Rose did too.

"Stop that!" She demanded, slamming her hands on the table. Rose squeaked and sprang out of her seat as Kanaya rushed in, immediately scurrying to hide behind her.

"I see you have found our visitor," Kanaya said with a sigh, giving Rose's hand on her shoulder a reassuring pat. "Her memories have been scrambled, and she will be staying with us for four days until her mind is in order again."

Vriska settled back in her chair with a grumble. "So what, are we grubsitting now? Why was she copying me?" She crammed a spoonful of cereal in her mouth, chewing sullenly.

"It would appear that she is able to reassociate her memories through imitation," Kanaya mused. Turning to Rose, she gestured for her to sit. "Go on, it's all right."

Tentatively, Rose returned to the table, watching Vriska, who decided it was better to just stare at her food until she was done.

Kanaya dug out a bowl for herself and a box of lightly frosted wheat pillow cereal, pouring it together with the remainder of the lusus milk and returning to the table as Vriska finished her bowl and stood up.

Rose froze again, watching her fearfully as she took her dishes to the sink. When she finished washing them, she turned to leave.

"Vriska?" Kanaya spoke up, and she paused.

Kanaya seemed to be having trouble meeting her gaze. "Thank you for keeping an eye on her. I have an unforunate feeling that the next few days are going to be somewhat bothersome... it is hard to ask this of someone, being that I am usually the one to be the helper and not the other way around, but, and I do not mean this in any form of insult, however I--"

"I get it, Kanaya," Vriska sighed. "I'll help you out." The relief on Kanaya's face was immediate. "Buuuuuuuut, I'm not gonna be the one responsible for cleaning up after her. I'll keep the others off your back." Seeing that Rose had finished and was examining her bowl as if expecting it to sprout more cereal, she reached over to take it.

Rose snatched the empty bowl away before Vriska could lay a finger on it, stumbling out of her seat and walking quickly to the sink. With a precise, calm air, she quickly cleaned up her dishes, rinsing them and leaving them in the drain board before whipping about and smiling at Vriska. The whole matter echoed of years long past, of a child successfully downing her first prey and looking to her lusus for approval.

A sad sort of half-smile formed on Vriska's face and she gave Rose a feeble pat on the head, as if expecting the girl to bite. To the contrary, Rose gave her an abrupt hug, having apparently determined she wasn't a threat after all, and bounced back to her seat, plopping down and propping her chin on her hands, waiting for Kanaya to finish her breakfast.

"I, uh... I think I'll go doooooooo... some research on humans," Vriska stammered. Still tingling from the unexpected friendly contact, she wandered out of the kitchen, wondering why her face felt so hot.

Oh, yeah, by the way, because I forgot to mention it last post: Kanaya's slumbering outfit was roughly described based on that picture you did that pater colored here. After I saw that the idea just stuck in my head until I started writing that Rose would show up while she was sleeping.

So I proceeded to dump her off like a sack of potatoes.

E: I am having an inordinate amount of fun writing this and I'm not sure why.
Also, Rae? I think I mighta lied.
This might turn out to more than four or five chapters. That was chapter two and I haven't even gotten to Karkat being grumpypants or her interactions with anyone else for that matter.

[Solaris]

God Damnit Raiser, using yourself when Jim is obviously the king of the multiverse?
Not classy at all.

(seriosuly though, awesome fic , "dumb" Rose's are fun)

[VagabondRaiser]

God Damnit Raiser, using yourself when Jim is obviously the king of the multiverse?
Not classy at all.

(seriosuly though, awesome fic , "dumb" Rose's are fun)

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"dumb" Rose's are fun

Rose's

In all seriousness though, I actually debated whether or not it would be me dropping her off or just a temporal -ify type thing. Figured, what the hell, my stories aren't convoluted enough! Sooner or later I might actually draw up a timeline so that it actually makes sense. On second thought, a timeline would probably help me keep my brain in order. Think I'll doodle one up.

[mutecebu]

There's a lot of great stuff here! I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring:

Victory of Another Kind

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A few last beeps, then the stereotypical long tone filled the room. Martin lifted his bloody hands from the dead man’s chest, shed his gloves, and went through the motions of washing up. It had been a long night.

As a medical student, he didn’t even have to be here. When the meteors started falling and the city started burning, though, Martin had grabbed his short white coat and reported for duty.

That was 24 hours ago. Now, the scene had become something out of a nightmare. Hopelessly beyond capacity, the hospital still continued to accept more and more injured and homeless refugees. Last night there had been talk of evacuation, but between abandoned cars and meteor craters the roads had become unnavigable, and besides, where would they go? No, the best thing was to stay here. Pushing aside fatigue, Martin finished cleaning, and returned to the rehabilitation ward, now a makeshift emergency room, to help the survivors the best he could. In a building the size of a city block, every floor had become an emergency room.

As he checked a patient for shock, his phone rang... which was odd, considering that all cell phone coverage had given up the ghost about eight hours ago. Judging by the Rocky Horror Picture Show ringtone, it could only be his old gamer buddy and friend, Evan. Martin used to hang out with Evan and the gang, but Martin’s work had more or less cut them off. Martin excused himself, and answered. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Who, me? Yah, I’m peachy. You need to get on SBURB, though. Like, now.”

“...what? No! Evan, I’m at the hospital right now.”

“I know! Well, I mean, I guessed. But, do you have a laptop or something?”

“Yah... wait, no! Evan, I’m really busy.”

“So am I! Have you been following the news?”

“Umm... sort of?”

“Do you know where the meteors are coming from?”

“...space?”

“Wrong. That’s the thing. They’re appearing out of nowhere. Like, literally, appearing a short distance above the earth, and mostly concentrated on highly populated areas of industrialized nations. Now listen to me and don’t interrupt, because I’m as serious as a heart attack right now. This random game that claims virtual reality capabilities or whatever, on software alone, is released the same day. They’re connected. You play the game, and it zaps you… somewhere else. I’m... uh, I’m playing it right now. I know that you’re at the hospital, saving lives and stuff. That’s awesome. But, you and all those people are going to die in the storm if you stay there. Long story short: the game’s a way out. It’ll save you and your hospital full of people from death by meteor.”

Martin took a long pause to understand what his friend was saying. “You’re not kidding, are you.”

“Nope. I’d tell you to look up stuff online to prove it, but there’s no time. The gang and I have been through this a few times now, and I can promise that you’ll now need to move as fast as possible.”

“This game is supposed to save lives?”

“I would not joke at a time like this.”

“...Allright. What do I do.”

***

Martin’s laptop was super portable, and didn’t even have a CD drive. But, even with Earth’s information network in shambles, software piracy will always find a way, and thanks to Bit Torrent, Martin acquired a copy of SBURB without much hullabaloo. During the agonizingly slow download, Evan explained a bit about the game.

“…so you’ll connect to Jess to get her in, then I connect to you, and the chain will be complete. Then, we’ll fight our way though the game, and hopefully defeat the Black King.”

“Screw that.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Evan, this is apocalypse. People are dying out there. I don’t give a flying weasel fuck about any black king. If this game works like you say it does, we need to get as many people as we can ASAP.”

“...I don’t even know if it works that way.”

“Does it matter? We get as many people in as we can. Period.

“… You’re right. I brought my Mom’s house in, so I’m good. Do you need me to call your family?”

“Please.”

“Allright. They’ll be your server next.”

***

And so the chain continued. The secret to salvation was passed on by word of mouth, always told to blood or close friends, because who else would believe such a farfetched story? Other chains were initiated, but this session grew to include seventy eight “players”, accounting for over five hundred people saved from the dying Earth. The chain was never completed; the sequence ended when a server player was obliterated before the next player could connect. Many were specifically instructed not to prototype their kernelsprite. Their session was fated to be unwinnable from the very beginning, but few cared. A couple brave players sought out and secured safe passages between gates and worlds, and people adapted to life inside the Medium. Their session never spawned a new universe, but the refugees carved out a new life for themselves, and secured a victory of their own.

[Solaris]

Whats a matter Raiser?
Have a problem?
Hmmm?
Hmmmmmm?

Also, mutecebu, that is what I really hope happened to at least some people.

[raequiem]

VR, will you marry me? You are just. So awesome. I'mma draw you more art now okay?

Mutecebu, that was awesome. I'm loving these "hey there are people on Earth besides the kids what happened to them?" kinda fics.

[KarneWarrior]

This might turn out to more than four or five chapters. That was chapter two and I haven't even gotten to Karkat being grumpypants or her interactions with anyone else for that matter.

12 trolls, 12 chapters. One troll per chapter, with it building up until the final chapter where everyone helps take care of Rose.

And I saw her as babby-rose at first, not stupid-rose. meh. :\

[VagabondRaiser]

This might turn out to more than four or five chapters. That was chapter two and I haven't even gotten to Karkat being grumpypants or her interactions with anyone else for that matter.

12 trolls, 12 chapters. One troll per chapter, with it building up until the final chapter where everyone helps take care of Rose.

And I saw her as babby-rose at first, not stupid-rose. meh. :\

Probably won't be -that- long. It's really just an excuse to write some fun WAFFy Kanaya/Vriska/Rose cuteness that, in being something that I particularly am writing, will be overblown and has been shoehorned loosely into the IoW timeline for a bit of context.

I wouldn't even say she's 'Stupid-Rose' either, honestly. More like amnesiac-thoughtsponge Rose. I mean, she's already re-learned how to walk, eat, and wash dishes in a chapter and a half. Seeing and encountering certain concepts and situations will realign her memories together properly. She'll have black hair and be listening to bands like As The Autumn Ashes Fall and The Black Winter's Sullen Heart Bleeds and claiming nobody understands her while writing bad self-insert wizard fiction in no time.

...this may say more about my brain than anything else...