MSPA fan fiction 2

[Valter]

karne, I am inexplicably amused by you putting "lol" in single-quotes.

"Hmmm, I do believe I have been taken by that phenomenon known by the internet as 'laughing out loud', yes."

[KarneWarrior]

heh, I use 'BLUH' and "BLUH" pretty much interchangably. I know they aren't actually the same thing, but I use 'em that way. Mostly I use " in stories and ' in my everyday speech.

[KilroyWasHere]

Hey guys look I wrote more.

Yaaaaaaaarg!: Part Two: Revenge of the Son of Yaaaaaaarg

aka "The Wackiest Ships in the Navy"

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Karkat swore as his “brave” captain swooped upon him. “Heeeey, Karkat my motherfucker. What the Hell’s happening?”

Karkat muttered something under his breath. He absolutely hated talking with the troll. Supposedly, he was descended from royalty – but only the most incestuous of slurries could produce this creature. He took a deep breath. “Nothing, Captain,” the first mate nearly spat.

Gamzee, to his credit, didn’t look fazed. He just adjusted his amazingly tall indigo hat, keeping the sun off of his makeup. “Whatever, my man. That’s cool. Anything you do is cool.”

Evidently, he’d just gotten himself some illicit materials. Karkat could almost make out his skin changing colors, which Captain Makara was probably hallucinating. “Hey, Captain –“

“Call me by my name, bro.”

“Gamzee, whatever. I’m going to go now. Okay?” Karkat didn’t care what the crazed clown said. He would just leave, and Gamzee’d be completely cool with it. He was too chill, Karkat decided, to be a good captain.

Gamzee shrugged. “Whatever, my motherfucker. Do whateveeer.” Karkat took this invitation, and promptly skedaddled.

Meanwhile, on the great ship the Spider’s Claw…

“Taaaaaaaavros!” Captain Serket yelled. “Where aaaaaaaare you?” She looked around, squinting with her good eye. She grinned when she saw a big hunk of orange sticking out behind a crate. She bounded over to it. “Tavros!” she scolded, picking the slightly shorter, peg-legged troll up. “Just what the Hell do you think you’re doing? We’re supposed to be heading over to the party!”

“We’re not, uh, going to the party Captain,” her “first mate” (for he was the only one willing to take the job) stammered. “It’s for royals and rich people, and, uh, we’re not – “

“Why, Tavros! We’re the most glaaaaaaaamorous, prettiest trolls on the sea! Of course they’ll let us in!” Vriska said, grinning like a maniac.

“Uh, what if they kick us out?”

“They’d never do something so stupid! We’re practically famous, dumbass!”

“If you say so.” First Mate Nitram sighed.

The two walked down the gangplank. Belowdecks, their navigator scowled. She heard their footsteps (one the steady plunk-plunk-plunk of Tavros, the other the stomping of Vriska) and grumbled something under her breath. The young lady pushed her ruby glasses up her nose, lowering the pressure on her nose. How rude of them to leave her alone like this! A blind girl could get hurt! Well, any other one, maybe. But not Terezi Pyrope!

On the other side of the ship, a short young troll lady lay sleeping. She rolled over, mumbling something about “Captain Serket,” and spoke no more.

[-Benedict]

Alright, so, I know I already posted a fic today, but, I just have to post this according to Angetaro?

It's a memo, so, uh, it's pretty long. I've just had the plotbug of "Fiduspawn duel between Dave and Tavros" in my mind forever and somewhere along the line it turned into... this.

Enjoy??

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CAT AT ?:?? opened memo on board fIDUSPAWN STADIUM 3.
CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG: ok so this is some kind of super gay name
CTG: why the three
CAT: hI DAVE, aRE YOU READY TO,
CAT: uH,
CAT: tHE THREE, iS BECAUSE, i MADE TWO ATTEMPTS AT MAKING THIS MEMO BEFORE BUT i SCREWED UP,
CAT: mUCH LIKE YOU DO AT, "everything", hEH, bECAUSE YOU ARE A SMOKED RETARD ON A SANDWICH BUN,
CTG: ok this is getting way too much into your fetishes for my taste
CTG: what the fuck is this about
CAT: e, eR, wELL i WAS ABOUT TO TELL YOU, bEFORE YOU INTERRUPTED ME LIKE A RUDE, iNTERRUPTING HUMAN PERSON, wHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE, hA,
CAT: bASICALLY, yOU ARE SHIT, aND i AM GOING TO SHOW YOU IN THE MOST POWERFUL AND MASCULINE WAY POSSIBLE,
CTG: oh
CTG: ok just let me grease up over here
CAT: e, eR,
CAT: nO, pLEASE DON'T, iT BOTHERS THE, eR, fIDUSPAWN,
CAT: wHICH IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE USING, aS i SHOW YOU THE VERY ERROR OF YOUR WAYS, tHE VERY LACK OF POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES YOU POSSESS, tHE, uH, hOW MUCH YOU SUCK, iN A FORM, tHAT IS EASILY SWALLOWABLE BY YOUR WEAK HUMAN THROAT,
CAT: lIKE A PILL, bUT, tHIS WILL BE A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW, dAVE STRIDER, }:D
CTG: you just said it would be easy to swallow you fucking retard
CTG: also why all this interest in my gag refl
CTG: oh
CTG: my eyebrows are wiggling right now
CTG: are you looking at me with your weird voyeur program thing
CTG: see them wiggling
CTG: theyre wiggling just for you
CTG: wiggle wiggle
CAT: oH MY GOD STOP,
CAT: i NEED TO EXPLAIN THE RULES AND THINGSSS, tO YOU, sO i CAN FIRMLY, eR, wHIP YOU,
CTG: whips now
CTG: getting a little sassy over there
CAT: oK JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN YOU FREAKKKKK,
CAT: tHE WAY THIS IS GOING TO GO, iS, i AM GOING TO SEND YOU A PROGRAM, aND,
CAT: wE ARE GOING TO DUEL, vIA THIS PROGRAM, aND, i WILL DESTROY YOU, aND THEN LICK UP YOUR TEARS,
CTG: only tears
CTG: are you sure
CTG: i have so many other lickable things to offer you at
CTG: like
CTG: my elbow
CTG: look at it
CTG: it is also wiggling now
CAT: hOLY FUCK STOP WIGGLING THINGS, iT'S UH, "creepy", tO ME,
CAT: aNYWAY, sENDING THE PROGRAM,
CAT sends program "fIDUSPAWNCLIENT2.0.EXE" to CTG.
CTG: ok so what is this shit
CTG: ...
CTG: oh my god
CTG: are you seriously challenging me to a pokemon match at
CTG: cant we do ballet or something more manly
CAT: oK, wELL, fIRST, tHIS IS NOT UR STUPID HUMAN "pokemon", bUT INSTEAD SOMETHING FAR MORE WONDERFUL AND ALSO FUN,
CAT: aLSO, i DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO BALLET, sO, tHAT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION,
CTG: ugh
CTG: fine
CTG: lets see what weve got here
CTG: oh my god
CTG: is this seriously a fucking duck named "alfreduck"
CTG: at i am dying over here from how lame this is
CAT: sHUT UP AND SELECT YOUR WARRIORSSSS, sO THAT YOUR FIERCE DRUBBING MAY BEGIN THAT MUCH SOONER, aND ALSO SO,
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: tHAT, uH,
CAT: uM,
CGG: hi dave!!!! hi tavros!!!!
CTG: hi jade
CAT: w, wHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, tHIS IS, fOR DRUBBING, aND, nOT MUCH ELSE,
CAT: jUST DRUBBINGS,
CAT: vIA FIDUSPAWN, aND, dELIVERED FIRMLY TO YOUR FRIEND "dave's" REAR END, vIA MY TEAM,
CCA: wwhat the fuck this isnt wwhat i meant to click wwhat the fuck are you evven doin
CTG: drubbing
CAT: dRUBBING,
CGG: drubbing!!!!!!
CAT: jADE GO AWAY AND LET ME DRUB HIM,
CGG: geez i want to watch!!!!
CCA: this is retarded im fuckin out of here
CCA banned himself from responding to memo.
CTG: cmon tavros let her watch
CTG: theres nothing to hide
CTG: unless
CTG: youre afraid of her seeing our love
CTG: tavros are you afraid of her seeing our love
CAT: nO,
CAT: i MEAN,
CAT: bECAUSE THERE, iSN'T ANY, nOT BECAUSE,
CAT: oK BASICALLY jADE GO AWAY,
CAT banned CGG from responding to memo.
CTG: oh ok
CTG: nice and private
CTG: just the way you like it huh
CTG: whisper those soft words into my ear at whisper them now
CTG: your raspy tool voice is what i need to hear cmon
CAT: oK THIS ISN'T PICKING YOUR TEAM, pICK YOUR TEAM, }:(
CTG: ugh
CTG: fine if itll make you stop acting like a kicked puppy
CTG: not that i mind kicked puppies i love kicked puppies
CTG: i kick the little shits all the time just and they fucking thank me for letting them touch my shoe
CTG: woof woof thanks dave can i have another
CTG: haha of course not you stutid dogs
CTG: anyway
CTG: what the fuck are these things anyway
CAT: tHEY ARE FIDUSPAWN, wHICH ARE THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS ON aLTERNIA, eXCEPT, fOR MOST OF THE OTHERS,
CAT: bUT, iN THIS CASE THEY ARE JUST VIRTUAL,
CAT: aNYWAY, tHE MOST EFFICIENT TEAM FOR YOU WOULD BE, a STUPID ONE,
CAT: mADE UP ONLY OF FUCKING AWFUL FIDUSPAWN, bECAUSE, yOU'RE AWFUL, aND AS SUCH,
CTG: ok i pick this one thats like a dragon or something
CAT: yOU WILL,
CAT: uM,
CAT: n, nO, dON'T, tHAT'S NOT AN AWFUL ONE,
CTG: oh really
CTG: i wasnt going to pick it but i will now thanks at youre a real help
CTG: you just earned like five bucket trips for that mister
CAT: oH MY GOD,
CAT: oK, uM, sTOP TALKING AND JUST, pICK, pLEASE,
CTG: ugghhhhh this is fucking retarded i have so many better things to be doing right now like
CTG: scraping my own dick with this steel wool
CTG: but oh wait youd like that nvm
CTG: ok fine i pick like all of these things on this page i dont care
CAT: uM,
CAT: aRE YOU SURE, bECAUSE, i MADE A FIDUSPAWN JUST FOR YOU, dAVE STRIDER, aS A MAGNAMIOUS GESTURE BEFORE OUR EPIC DUEL OF FATE,
CAT: oN THE NEXT PAGE,
CTG: uh
CTG: "turntechgodbread"
CTG: is this a duck with a wang at
CTG: because if this is supposed to be me you made the wang about thirty times too small
CAT: uM, wOWWWW, iT'S JUST A DUCK, tHAT IS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, yOUR HUMAN QUACKBEASTS,
CTG: normally they have bigger wangs at
CTG: its like youre not trying to understand our culture at all
CTG: havent you ever seen a duck
CAT: nO,
CAT: jUST PICK IT GOG DAMN,
CTG: ha
CTG: fine
CTG: ok so my team is this big dragon thing, the wangless duck wonder, and this gayass horse thing
CAT: w, wHAT,
CTG: uh
CTG: "horsaroni"
CAT: hORSARONI ISN'T GAY YOU LOSERRRR,
CTG: at look
CTG: amongst the horses there is a crown that is given to only the gayestass horse thing
CTG: it was a long and arduous quest that the horses undertook to find their gay king
CTG: they searched high and low and in all sorts of caves and mountains
CTG: finally they found him, their glorious ruler
CTG: eating bonbons and watching his stories in a hot tub at a gay resort in maui
CTG: they crowned him and he wanted to cry but it would have made his mascara run and also he was a horse
CTG: that horse is this horse right now
CTG: someday he may be defeated by another but the chances of that are slim
CTG: unlike his gayness which is fat as fuck
CAT: uHHH,
CAT: oK, bUT, sHUT UP,
CAT: aND LET US BEGIN THE DUEL,
CTG: how the fuck are we even going to do that
CTG: all you gave me is a bunch of pictures
CAT: uM, wELL,
CAT: i THOUGHT THAT WE COULD, wELL, rOLEPLAY THE BATTLE ITSELF, aND,
CTG: oh my fucking god
CTG: are you fucking serious
CAT: wHAT'S THE MATTER, sTRIDER,
CAT: aRE YOU PISSING YOUR HUMAN TROUSERS IN FEAR OF HOW MUCH i WILL STOMP YOU,
CAT: aRE YOU A HUMAN CLUCKBEAST DAVE,
CTG: yes
CTG: didnt you know that
CTG: seriously you know nothing about birds
CTG: also
CTG: get fucked
CTG: fine ill play your stupid game
CAT: nOW THAT IS MORE LIKE IT, }:D
CAT: pREPARE TO GET TROUNCED,
CTG: what happened to drubbing
CTG: i was looking forward to a good drubbing right about now
CAT: oK, tHEN UH, dRUBBING TOO, i GUESS,
CAT: fOR MY FIRST FIDUSPAWN I SELECT,
CAT: tURTLEINI,
CTG: i pick the huge dragon thing
CTG: whos turn is first
CAT: mINE,
CAT: mY TURTLEINI ENGAGES IN EXERCISES, tO LIMBER ITSELF UP, aS IS TRADITION, wHAT DO YOU DO,
CTG: my huge dragon thing eats your turtle
CTG: fucking swallows the fucker
CTG: oh wait shouldnt say swallow you get all hot about that
CTG: "slides it into its entrance"
CTG: ok there we go nice and innocent
CAT: b, bUT, tHAT, tHAT MOVE IS,
CAT: uGHHHH, f, fINE,
CAT: sORRY TURTLEINI, }:(
CTG: oh my god are you seriously apologizing to the fucking turtle at this is like twenty levels of virtual stacked on top of each other
CTG: we are rping that we are pretending to battle monsters
CTG: anyway
CTG: my dragon levels up
CTG: and gets ye flask
CTG: getting all these flasks over here is turning me the fuck on at are you sure you just want to play fidustupidouche
CAT: oK, uM, sHUT UP, aND ALSO, i SUB IN MY NEXT FIDUSPAWN, rAVIOLEECH,
CAT: mY MOVE IS TO EAT YOUR STUPID DRAGON, aND AVENGE MY TURTLE,
CTG: what the fuck
CTG: at are we even rping your monster thing anymore or are we just playing on your vore fetish
CTG: because to be honest that sounds a whole lot more fun than this shit
CAT: uM,
CAT: tHIS IS JUST HOW FIDUSPAWN GOES, a LOT OF THE TIME,
CAT: aNYWAY, yOU LOSE YOUR DRAGON, aND I HAVE GAINED EXPERIENCE POINTS,
CTG: ok i bring out the wangduck
CTG: he puts on his robe and his wizard hat
CTG: hes looking mighty sexy over here at
CTG: you know what he says at
CTG: he has a message for you
CAT: uH,
CAT: oK, wHILE THIS IS WEIRD, i AM FINDING IT COOL THAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO THE GAME, aND SO, i WILL LISTEN TO HIS MESSAGE,
CAT: wHAT IS IT,
CTG: "quack"
CTG: hes a duck you fucking retard
CAT: oH,
CAT: hEHE,
CAT: uM,
CAT: aNYWAY, yOU WASTED YOUR TURN WITH YOUR WEIRD COSTUMING, sO UH, mY TURN,
CAT: rAVIOLEECH FIRES A WAVE OF ALMIGHTY DARKNESS AT YOUR DUCK, aND HE IS DESTROYED INSTANTLY BECAUSE, hE HAS A DARKNESS WEAKNESS,
CAT: hAHAHAHA, yOU FELL FOR MY RUSE,
CTG: no he isnt
CAT: yOU F
CAT: uH,
CAT: yES HE IS, bECAUSE, dARKNESS WEAKNESS,
CTG: nope i counter it
CAT: wITH WHAT,
CTG: he casts magic missile at the darkness
CAT: uM,
CAT: ,,,
CTG: youre the one who wanted to rp this shit dumpass
CTG: also this is getting kind of fun now that im just firmly kicking your ass all around the world with a fucking loaf of bread
CTG: a wangless one
CTG: where is the wang at where is it
CAT: oK SHUT UP i AM PONDERING MY NEXT MOVE,
CTG: yeah you do that im gonna invite some people to watch how much you suck at this shit
CAT: wHAT, dON'T, tHIS IS A PRIVATE DUEL TO THE DEATH, aND,
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: aS SUCH, iT WOULD BE A SIGN OF RESPECT, iF,
CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: yOU DIDN'T INVITE PEOPLE, aND INSTEAD LEFT IT PRIVATE, aS IT WAS MEANT TO BE, aND, lIKE I WANT IT TO BE, wHICH, oF COURSE, mEANS,
CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: tHAT YOU SHOULD NOT INVITE PEOPLE, lIKE YOU ARE ACTIVELY DOING, aT THIS MOMENT,
CAT: ,,,
CAT: yOU'RE A LITTLE RUDE, DAVE, }:(
CAC: :33 < *ac slinks in as a mighty hunter is purrone to doing!!! with a furiendly and yet dangerous slash of her claws she greets efuryone*
CTG: oh god why did i invite her
CTG: this was already confusing enough
CGC: D4VE 4R3 YOU S3R1OUSLY PL4Y1NG TH1S W1TH T4VROS
CTG: yeah
CGC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4
CTT: I admit ignorance as to what is going on here.
CTG: were becoming pokemon masters
CTG: i think ats just in it so he can bang gary though
CTG: "youre my best pal gary i want to fuck" "in that case i choose squirtle"
CTG: then, tears
CAC: :33 < oh wow thats a little weird tavros
CAC: :33 < *is something that the mighty tigress says with a purrturbed look on her face*
CAT: oK EVERYONE JUST LET ME DECIDE ON MY MOVE,
CTG: yeah geez everyone how rude of you to just burst in here like this
CTG: think about his feelings
CTG: im especially angry with you person who will remain nameless
CTG: lalonde youre that person
CTT: Strider, don't you have better things to be doing than this?
CTT: A certain game to disassemble, things like that?
CTG: dont worry rosey i have all the time in the world
CTG: also, more than that
CGC: 1SN'T TH4T SOM3THING 1 TOLD YOU ONC3 D4V3
CTG: probably but to be honest i have never read a single thing youve written
CTG: even that just now im just guessing what it says
CAT: oK, mY LEECH, eRRR, aCTIVATES ITS SUCKING ABILITY, aGAINST THE DAVE DUCK,
CTG: whoa
CAC: :OO < tavros!!!!
CAC: :33 < i am putting this on my wall right now, brb!!!!
CGC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4 WOW T4VROS COULD YOU B3 4NY MOR3 OBV1OUS >:?
CAT: uHHH, i DON'T, uNDERSTAND THE ISSUE,
CAT: i AM JUST ATTEMPTING TO REMOVE TURNTECHGODBREAD'S FLUIDS, vIA SUCTION,
CTG: wow thats pretty hot and also it sounds like something lalonde would call it
CTG: wow
CTG: there goes that hotness
CTT: I would be far more verbose than that should I ever engage in such activities and feel the need to describe them.
CTT: Either way, please continue your match so that you can get back to the matters at hand.
CTG: this is the matter at hand lalonde this fucking battle is one of destiny or something
CAT: tHAT'S RIGHT, hAHAHA, yOU AGREE WITH ME FINALLY i SEE,
CAT: aNYWAY, dEFEND AGAINST MY SWEET ATTACK, oR DIE,
CTG: ok yeah he dies from too much passion
CTG: moving way too fast here at
CTG: were only 13 jegus calm it down a little
CGC: T4VROS 1S 4CTU4LLY ONLY S1X
CTG: uh
CTG: wow
CTG: well guess i should put my pants back on in case hes watching this
CAT: oK YEAH THAT WOULD BE APPRECIATED, aND ALSO, hAHAHA, i AM DOING SO WELL, }:D
CTG: i still have one thing left
CTG: snoop doggy horse i choose you
CTG: go out and zap to the extreme
CAT: uH,
CAT: oK, wELL, yOU WILL BE DEFEATED NOW, bY MY LEECH, wHICH IS ABOUT TO ATTACK YOU,
CTG: its my turn
CTG: seriously your commitment to this is really lacking at
CTG: how will you ever avenge your sick grandfathers death at kaibas hands like this
CTT: Might I jump in here with a query, aT?
CAT: uH,
CAT: oK,
CTT: Exactly how large is this leech of yours?
CTT: Is it proportional to our own terran leeches or is it of a greater size?
CAT: iT'S UH, aBOUT THE SAME SIZE AS ONE OF YOUR EARTH HUMAN LEECHES, eXCEPT, iT HAS A LOT OF MOXIE TO MAKE UP FOR IT,
CGC: 4T 4T
CAT: uH, yEAH, wHAT IS IT,
CGC: YOU'R3 4N 1D1OT
CGC: TH4T'S 4BOUT 4LL 1 H4D TO S4Y
CTG: ha
CTG: sick burn
CTG: anyway my horse steps on your leech
CTG: while staring at a picture of jake gyllenhaal
CTG: this horse has really shitty taste at
CAT: y,
CAT: yOU STEPPED ON MY RAVIOLEECH, }:(
CTG: uh
CTG: you ate my dragon and sucked my duck to death
CTG: compared to that this is kind of like comparing me eating a bowl of cereal in my underwear watching mtv to a hate crime involving baseball bats perpetrated against lil romeo
CTG: the first one is just normal shit
CTG: the second one is both weird and also gay
CTG: anyway yeah steps on the leech
CAC: :33 < ok im back!!!
CAT: oK, i GUESS, tHAT THAT IS OK, tHEN, }:(
CAT: i GUESS THAT I SEND OUT MY FINAL fIDUSPAWN THEN,
CAT: yOU WILL FALL BEFORE THIS, cHERISHED CHAMPION OF MINE,
CAT: gO,
CTG: oh god at the suspense is too much i cant control my boner
CAT: hORSA,
CAT: uM,
CAT: dAVE COULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL YOUR BONER i'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A DRAMATIC THING AND YOUR UNNECESSARY AROUSAL IS MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE,
CAC: :|| < ok wow i dont think equius would want me to see this, im gonna go
CAC: :|| < *the mighty tigress bans herself from the memo!!!*
CAC banned herself from responding to the memo.
CGC: H3H3H3 1 TH1NK 1T'S CUT3 T4VROS
CGC: H3 F1N4LLY LOV3S YOU B4CK
CGC: CONGR4TS 1 TH1NK >:?
CAT: oH MY GOD,
CAT banned CGC from responding to the memo.
CAT banned CTT from responding to the memo.
CAT: jUST YOU AND ME, dAVE,
CTG: i just noticed that your name is cat
CTG: hahahahaha
CTG: i will call you whiskers
CAT: oK, wOW, dON'T DO THAT, bECAUSE,
CAT: iN A MOMENT HERE i AM GOING TO WRECK YOU, aND YOU WILL BE INCONSOLABLE, aND I DON'T THINK YOU WILL BE IN A WHISKERS KIND OF MOOD THEN, bECAUSE, i AM ABOUT TO WRECK YOU, aS i SAID,
CAT: gO,
CAT: hORSARONI,
CTG: huh
CTG: two horses
CTG: isnt there a law or something about this
CTG: my horse is making the eyes at your horse at
CTG: clearly there can be two kings of gayness in this world
CAT: oK, uHHH, tHIS IS REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, bECAUSE hORSARONI IS MY FRIEND,
CTG: oh jesus
CTG: at seriously its not like were actually using these stupid things
CTG: were not flipping our hats backwards and playing trap cards while our tags and crests glow with the power of the sailor scouts
CAT: uM, wHAT,
CTG: jesus at let me finish that was a quote let me attribute it to the right guy ok
CAT: uMMM, oK, fINE,
CTG: were not flipping our hats backwards and playing trap cards while our tags and crests glow with the power of the sailor scouts
CTG: --king kamehameha of hawaii
CAT: yOUR KINGS ARE STUPID,
CAT: jUST LIKE, a CERTAIN FACE, tHAT BELONGS TO A STUPID HUMAN AND, oH YEAH, tHE HUMAN IS STUPIDER THAN THE FACE,
CAT: (tHE HUMAN IN QUESTION IS YOU,)
CTG: ouch
CTG: at you broke my life
CTG: thats supposed to be capitalized but to be honest i dont give a carpenters dick
CTG: its still your turn can we just get this shit over with
CAT: oK, yES,
CAT: mY MOVE IS, tHE ULTIMATE MOVE,
CAT: wITH A BURST OF FIERY ENERGY, aND THE FORCE OF A MILLION FOSSILBEASTS, hORSARONI IGNITES AND RUNS AT YOUR HORSARONI,
CTG: at look i know that the horses are flaming but
CTG: seriously could you make it a little more subtle here
CTG: maybe some ballet slippers or something
CTG: also
CTG: my horsafuckwit
CTG: moves about three feet to the left and dodges
CAT: u, uH,
CAT: hE WHAT,
CTG: yeah he just kind of
CTG: slides on over there
CTG: like a pepsi on a 1960s bar counter
CTG: only theres no big meaty hand to catch him at he has to do it all on his own
CTG: anyway though yeah he dodged
CAT: o, oH,
CTG: and you lit your horse on fire so uh
CTG: he should like be burning up over there or something
CAT: ,,,
CAT: uM,
CAT: y, yES,
CAT: tHAT IS, wHAT HAPPENS,
CTG: ha
CTG: wow
CTG: youre basically not any good at this at all are you
CTG: fiduspawn trainer tavros paid some shit amount of japanese currency for winning which dave promptly pockets to buy knockoff bourbon with later at the fidusmart
CTG: trainer tavros blacked out
CAT: uM,
CAT: tHIS, wENT REALLY POORLY,
CAT: aND i'M MORE THAN A LITTLE UPSET NOW,
CAT: i'M JUST, gONNA GO, aND,
CAT: mAYBE WE CAN FORGET ABOUT THIS, }:(
CTG: nah
CTG: it was pretty fun i guess
CTG: you know in a total ironic sense you know like
CTG: i didnt enjoy it but i enjoyed not enjoying it
CTG: and stuff
CAT: r, rEALLY,
CAT: wELL, oK,
CAT: tHEN FOR NOW i WILL RETURN MY OOGONIBOMBS TO THEIR HOLSTERS, aND,
CAT: i WILL TRAIN FOR ANOTHER DAY, wHEN I DEFEAT YOU,
CAT: }:)
CTG: yeah whatever get out of here you stutid fuck
CAT: yEAH, oK,
CAT: bYE, yOU STINKY HUMAN GROSS PERSON,
CAT banned himself from responding to memo.
CTG: jegus gog
CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CEB: uhhh i just now got the request, am i too late?
CTG: no youre just in time
CTG sends program "fIDUSPAWNCLIENT2.0.EXE" to CEB.
CTG: lets play a game john

This is amazing. I love this- it's one of the rare times that Tavros actually shows some backbone, which is always fun.
The only problem, of course, is that he's trying to show backbone to Dave, who is practically the f-cking king of backbone. Dave has so much backbone it's pushing out of his back like a godd-mn tail. His backbone is so amazingly huge he could literally strangle the planet f-cking jupiter with his own spine. By comparison Tavros is like some spineless crippled cripple who can't even move his legs because he has no spinal column.

[KarneWarrior]

Challenge! Write a fic while listening to a song. post the song and the fic. You MUST finish the fic as SOON as the song ends. No finishing sentances, words, nothing. No punctuation, either.

Here's my go:

Doctor

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"Can you see that?" Asked Rose. John turned to face her, heaving the Wrinklefucker over his shoulder as he did so.

"Yep. And I know what it is. It's the denizens cave- I mean, lair." John blushed as Rose opened her mouth to correct him. Bubbles Von Salamancer gurgled out his watery laugh. Dave groaned, and Jade was, as always, almost as bubbly as Bubbles Von Salamancer.

"We're going to go hit it, right?" Asked Dave. John nodded, and as one the group hea

Wow. That ended abruptly. Must... resist... urge... to... finish...

[NateDude]

Karne, I laughed

[KarneWarrior]

And now you all know that I write incredibly slowly! It took me 3 whole minutes to write this very post!

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Thought I'd give that flash-fiction thing a try. Was kinda fun.

Listened to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0lj2bG-s0E

Rose pointed her wants at the turtle's temple and began to concentrate her will through them. Although it hadn't taken more than a second's worth of thought, the slight pause that streamed from the effort was drawn out. A million tiny matches flickered across a single log; a spotaneous and all-encompasing fire which came from nowhere and burned everything in its path. The turtles stood little chance. The temple erupted with eldritch fire before the ashes constituting it blew away in the wind. Where the temple stood was a simple, green captch card. Another indication of the green sun, another momento of that hidden riddle Rose sought after. A flame once ignited that disappeared into nothingne

[BenevolentDemon]

Oh boy, flash-fiction! This brings back memories of freshman year English classes... Hm, I wonder what a six-word-story fanfic would be like...

"Bloodstained metal. Calm down, you're 0kay."

[JudgeDeadd]

Okay I Admit I Suck At Titles
(and also probably at writing. self-depreciation is fun!)

PG-13 for f-bomby bad languages! Go play outside, children!

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...
"yes dave......i really think youre a coolkid.....a very very coolkid" terezi said. she was sitting on an ornamental bench in a beautiful park next to the human dave who was in his coolkid black glasses he liked so much because of how coolkid-like they were. "i talked to you a lot terezi and all this time i was thinking how attractive you looked and how much i like you" he said. he was quite hesitant before saying this and he stammered a lot too.
in the distance karkat and nepeta were watching them. "they are really flushed for each other" nepeta said to karkat. "i knew this would happen, i knew terezi and you wasnt really a very good idea frankly karkles." karkat said "wow nepeta youre so smart, you sure know everything about romance and relationships. thats why i like you so much." and he planted a kiss on her and then said "lets play a fun pretend game." nepeta said ok!

"What’re you typing there?" The aforementioned Karkat appeared suddenly beside her.
"Nothing!" Nepeta quickly covered up the computer screen while assuming the most innocent feline smile she had in her repertoire.
"If you’re writing your imbecilic love stories again while we’re busy coming up with important plans..." he grouched before staggering away. "...what kind of a fucking retard wastes his time choosing mating partners for other people who maybe just maybe aren’t interested in getting any pairings forced on them anyway..."

She resumed writing.

terezi smiled sw33tly and said "dave you are so handsome... let me look closely at your face" then she leaned over and suddenly licked dave in the face and then kissed him unexpectedly!! dave appeared almost paralyzed by this kiss and his face began glowing with

...Began glowing with what?

She hesitated. What blood color did the Dave human have? Red? Something like that; better to be sure though. Fantasy pairings aside, she prized verisimilitude in such details in her writing.

Ask her troll friends, perhaps? (Terezi in particular may have known.) But they were all busy right now, it seemed. And besides... they’d probably guess what she needed it for, and mock her and her fics (they were so mean to her favorite hobby sometimes!) No, another source of information seemed the right choice.

And she needed to get a feeling for Dave's dialogue anyway.

***

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
AC: :33 < *a cute kitty comes from behind a corner and rubs against daves leg!*
AC: :33 < *its ac! who delivers a sw33t gr33ting meow*
AC: :33 < *ac displays her most endearing pair of smiles*
TG: *tg clandestinely steals a handy duo of asterisks from a passing asterisk truck*
TG: *ladies all around behold the power of shift+8s*
TG: *the rapping rp reaper is here*
AC: :33 < *ac props herself up against dave on her hind legs and whispurrs into his ear*
AC: :33 < hi dave!
TG: ah and another one of you speaks up
TG: this time its a furry
TG: not doing new commissions of sbahj fursona portraits right now sorry gal
TG: anyway how many of you are yet to talk to me
TG: gotta catch em all
AC: :33 < nice to m33t you!
AC: :33 < im nepeta
AC: :33 < hope youre not too busy at the moment
AC: :33 < im curious about so many things about you and your friends!
TG: yep thats very much what i want to do right now
TG: to act as encyclopedia humannica for you creeps
TG: not that i have anything important to do or whatever
AC: :33 < oh dont be so mean!
AC: :33 < i only have one question! for now
AC: :33 < can you tell me what color is your blood?
AC: :33 < i think its red but im not one hundred purrcent sure!
TG: whoa steady there girl
TG: ladies and gentlemen
TG: lets all stand up and deliver an ovation to miss colon thirty three
TG: the new member of the daveblood fan club
TG: which has now passed the elite threshold of two members
TG: whats with fate handing out extraterrestrial hos like cheap cigars today
TG: why do you even care about that
AC: :33 < its
AC: :33 < a secret!
AC: :33 < i think youd just laugh at me anyway
TG: i know you have our human internet in there
TG: couldnt you just google it
AC: :33 < i dont know much about this human internet
AC: :33 < maybe its in there i dont know!
AC: :33 < im not a computer purrofessional
TG: its okay
TG: actually if you tried searching it youd sooner or later end up with pages upon pages of weird blood fetish porn
TG: true real life fact
TG: im saving your impressionable young furry mind from corruption by our human filth
TG: also btw its red
AC: :33 < oh thank you so much!!! :))
AC: :33 < *ac deploys a cute twofold lick on daves ch33k*
AC: :33 < bye now I must do something!
TG: no purroblem
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] --
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
AC: red. "im sooo flushed for you too my love" dave said and he awkwardly began to prepare for a kiss..........
TG: uh
TG: what the hell
AC: 8OO < oops!!!
AC: :33 < oops sorry i was so excited that i furgot to change the window
TG: what
TG: youve got to be fucking shipping me
AC: :33 < mmmmaybe?
TG: so whos the guy youre pairing me with
AC: :33 < why do you assume its a boy??
TG: you mean you come from a planet where shipper girls arent automatically yaoi fangirls
TG: i knew you were aliens but never realized how alien you are
TG: too alien
TG: no way we can ever meaningfully communicate
TG: so much for the pioneer plaques
AC: :33 < okay if i tell you will you stop saying these weird things??
AC: :33 < its terezi
TG: oh ahahaha
TG: cant wait to tell her next time
AC: :33 < no dont!!
AC: :33 < shed mock me like crazy!!
AC: :33 < oh youre just a big jerk!!
AC: :33 < ummm...
AC: :33 < *ac is obviously quite hesitant to continue and her face blushes a healthy gr33n*
AC: :33 < what if i show you what i have written of this story so far
AC: :33 < then you promise you wont tell??
TG: sure
TG: bring on the mind scarring prose
TG: cant wait to read things about myself that will remain burned into my retinas for the foreseeable future
AC: :33 < plz dont laugh ;((
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] sent turntechGodhead [TG] the file loversinshades.txt --
TG: oh jegus
TG: oh ahahahaha
TG: ok i wont tell her but i will totally keep this on my hard drive ironically
AC: :33 < oh thanks
AC: :33 < umm can you maybe give some critique on this?? i want to impurrove my writing
TG: well
TG: believe it or not creepy shipping of real life world persons is not something i obsessively do every day
TG: so im not really an expert on this
TG: but i can still see that your fic is kinda bland
TG: maybe you should get some writing tips
AC: :33 < from who?
TG: prose
TG: i mean rose
TG: i know at least she likes to write weird wizard slash
TG: she knows a lot about this kind of thing
AC: :33 < oh thx so much!!
AC: :33 < i think ill contact her a sw33p or so ago when shes not very occupied with anything and ask for help
AC: :33 < *whats this?? ac dashes away unexpectedly! could it be that the silly and clumsy dave has startled her??*
AC: :33 < *but then look! the cute kitty comes back with a big multicolored bunch of flowers!*
AC: :33 < *dave takes the flowers gratefully and sniffs them sw33tly*
TG: hey no godmodding
AC: :33 < sorry *so dave doesnt sniff them he just does whatever he wants with them*
AC: :33 < *and whatever he does with them is sw33t!*
AC: :33 < ...
AC: :33 < *even though frankly hes a bit of a jerk sometimes*
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: heh
TG: me x terezi
TG: ...

***

on that day, a day characterized by fatefulness and an extreme sort of it to boot, john and jade were inside jade’s hive hiding from the sun which was incandescing especially luminously on that day which i have already mentioned. jade vocalized "john come up to my respiteblock i wanna show you my toys" and john ind33d has followed.
jade’s respiteblock was nice and pleasing to the bespectacled eye and also looked nice. there was a multifarious olio of playthings and miscellanea which indicated jade’s numerous interests that were voluminous, multitudinous and plentiful.
and it was then that the radiance intruding through the window danced an enrapturing trollantella in jade’s spectacles, and underlined by this light-show her eye-orbs became like paragons of enthrallment. it has not escaped john’s attention and his heart organ felt ticklish all of a sudden. "oooooh jade" john spoke "i always wanted to say but never quite had the courage.......you’re sooo beautiful. i think i........."
"yes john???" jade inquired.
"will you be my matesprit?" john uttered timorously.
"oh john................" jade was now like a small human-shaped volcano erupting with blush (rather than lava). "ooh i must admit this is something i wanted to tell you for a long time too. let’s make out!!!!!" and then they made out in a manner most sloppy.
((too abrupt?? maybe lets think of some more talking befur the ending.

thank gog for online thesaurus! :)) ))

[kmsumrall]

Awesome stuff judgedeadddd. If I can suggest a title, (unless it's supposed to be ironic) 'super nepeta awesome grate writing jounral (don't read if you find this it's private!!11]'

That'd be a fun series.

[gingerale]

I really liked that Nepeta writing a Dave/Terezi story. It was adorable. ^^

Pairing herself with Karkat though? Awww.. xD

[sarasvati]

judgedeadd, that was p. hilarious. nepeta, aspiring fic writer.

okay so I tried doing the speed writing thing but I'm a filthy cheat and let it run through the song twice because I had too much of a story going. apparently I can get a lot done in 15 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky0ObR2j1lY

ghosts among men

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"Don't fuck this up," his sprite says with all the emotion he can ever expect from himself, shrugging his skeleton-thin shoulders, and Dave can only wonder who he thinks he's talking to.

one

Two days later, Jade isn't breathing. His first kiss is panicked CPR and he breaks her ribs trying to get her to respond, and he doesn't think he'll be getting a second.

He rewinds, passes it on--don't let her run ahead, don't stop and tell John to get his ass down there, just get in there sword swinging and don't fuck it up.

He isn't meant to stick around, so he doesn't. Four hours later, he gets in front of them, dives into the ambush himself and thins out the ranks before he joins her in an arc of red, but not before he wonders if he's a hero or a sacrifice or if it even matters.

two

Hero, maybe.

He's all sinewy, compact aggression when he pushes John out of the way, maybe with a little more force than he needs, but he wants John to feel something because he's sure as hell about to feel something now. Teeth tear into muscle and flesh and his bones give with ugly, greasy wishbone cracks, and goddamnit that's the arm that controls his position in space--

But hell, as long as he can get a hand on his tables, he's invincible. A goddamn hero. His lungs fill with blood and every breath is wet and shuddering and his arm isn't working right, but it doesn't have to because he still manages to get where he needs to go.

"You aren't ready yet, so don't fucking think about it," he coughs through a syrupy film, and the last thing he does is throw a punch at a friend who doesn't even know what he's done wrong.

three, four, five, and onward

And maybe he's just a sacrifice.

If there's a hell, he thinks he might've walked it a dozen times over--and that's just as far as he knows. He's seen himself maimed and mangled and barely recognizable; he's seen himself weak and trembling from poison, illness, exhaustion. It's worse when it's none of that. He dreads pristine suits and even, stone-stoic tones, because it means that someone's dead and it isn't him.

Don't fuck it up. He hears it over and over again in voices that are his and aren't his, cold and bitter and angry and sad and all the things that don't seem to come out until it's too late. Don't fuck it up. Bullets and head trauma, pitfalls and politics, don't go here, don't do this, don't let them lose.

One stumbles towards him, limping on a bad leg and holding a bloodied hand under his glasses and he thinks he probably just lost an eye. "Tell Rose it's a shitty idea," he says. "She'll know. She'll probably try it anyway, so be ready for her, and don't fuck it up."

coda

And how much does it matter?

"It's this way, or no way at all," Rose says with an infuriating level of calm that makes him want to choke her. She raises her wands because she's going to try anyway and he raises his sword because he's ready for her, and he wonders--to what end, if not his?

"Don't fuck it up," he says, and he thinks with an edge of wildfire fury that maybe this whole goddamned mess could've been avoided if he'd just been telling the right people all this time.

[Nanakii]

Hehe, that Nepeta fic was cute!
Sara, ah man that song (And fic) you posted was just awesome . That would be such a grisly and sucky situation to be in.. I don't think I envy the time people at all <<.

[Ember]

Oh God, Nepeta. XD

...and oh god Dave. ;_; Hey, remember when we all used to think that time powers were the most awesome powers in the game and the Of Time was definitely the best thing to be?

[Nanakii]

Aye, aye. Then we got all of these stories going "Hey, here's a bunch of stories about Dave having to cope with the sighs of seeing his friends die and himself nearly die or a future version die in front of him!" which are also really awesome, which makes you go... "Per..Perhaps not. HOW ABOUT THOSE HEARTS".

[Summergale]

Couldn't get this idea out of my head. All aboard the U.S.S. Denial!

Voices (Chapter One?)

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Aradia sobbed out loud as she staggered through the dark trial caverns. One hand was pressed into a fist against her temple; the other stretched out to claw at the blood-slicked rocks all around. She'd hatched several weeks ago, and had been pupating for much of that - although her age wasn't an issue, given how quickly trolls matured just after hatching. Now she had to prove herself worthy of a lusus, if only the voices would be quiet for just a moment. They screamed inside her head, begging for attention, wailing in a debilitating cacophony.

"Shut up! Please, just shut up!" the young troll cried out as her legs finally gave. She crashed to the floor in a crumpled heap, pressing both hands to her ears as if she could block out the voices. But they were in her head, in her head and they wouldn't leave. "Be quiet... Please, please..." Aradia was hiccuping as she spoke, and the voices used the silence after her words to start again.


it's simple just over there stop it you're upsetting wait who's there someone's coming aradia we're serious no ignore him over there hi my name is shut up nobody wants to hear it over there hey look

Aradia began to sob incoherently, trying in vain to block out the deluge of sound within her mind. However, she was distracted by another voice - this time, outside her head.
"...Hello? Ith anyone there?"

She glanced up to see another troll - about her age, unsuprisingly - with two sets of horns and some very strange eyes. One was red, while the other was blue, rather than both of them being yellow. He was dressed much like her, in tattered clothing that had seen better days; the clothes had apparently been meant for someone shorter than him, if the length of the trousers was anything to go by. Another helpful hint was the fact that they were encrusted with blood of almost every colour... although Aradia couldn't tell which colour, if any, was his. She swallowed carefully, lifting her head from her knees to stare at this new troll. "Y-Yes... I'm here," she whispered, before adding in a darker tone, "Shut up shut up shut up..."
"There'th no need to be thuch a jackathh. I'm jutht thaying hi." the boy retorted, narrowing his eyes at Aradia.
"S-sorry. I... nevermind," Aradia mumbled, placing her hands on either side of her and shakily standing up. "I was talking to someone else."

The boy looked around and frowned, his fangs jutting out out over his bottom lip. Aradia reached out and attempted to hold onto the rough cavern walls, but she slipped, flinching as she toppled-
"Hey! Watch it!" the other troll hissed, catching Aradia before she completely fell over. He cautiously helped her stand up before gripping her shoulders through the thin fabric of her shirt. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, eyebrows furrowing above those strange bi-coloured eyes.

"I... I'm okay. I think." she mumbled disconcertedly, her eyes wide.

he's just trying to no ignore him he'll ruin everyth this is the way it's meant to happe he's cute ask his name alrea leave him

Aradia shuddered. "What's your name?" she asked carefully, pulling herself free from the male troll's grip. He stared at her for a moment before replying, "Thollukth."
"...Pardon?"
"It'th my lithp, okay?!" he spat, scowling and going to turn away.
"So you're called, uh... Sollux?"
"Yeah, thure. Th'what I wath trying to thay." Sollux muttered, rolling his eyes. "We thould get going."

[arianadream]

What would the kids do if they were exiled to post-apocalyptic earth?
Part one of a massive speculation fic about the kids as exiles.

HAY GUYS remember this?

RogerMexico and I made a thing!

[Shadow of the Lotus]

What would the kids do if they were exiled to post-apocalyptic earth?
Part one of a massive speculation fic about the kids as exiles.

HAY GUYS remember this?

RogerMexico and I made a thing!

That was fantastically done! I love how you handled adapting the story and used John's voice for Rose's section, Rose for John's, etc... I think that really brought out the story.

I still nearly lose it every time at lizard Dave's funeral. Still such a fantastic story.

[Acey Enn]

Couldn't get this idea out of my head. All aboard the U.S.S. Denial!

Voices (Chapter One?)

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Aradia sobbed out loud as she staggered through the dark trial caverns. One hand was pressed into a fist against her temple; the other stretched out to claw at the blood-slicked rocks all around. She'd hatched several weeks ago, and had been pupating for much of that - although her age wasn't an issue, given how quickly trolls matured just after hatching. Now she had to prove herself worthy of a lusus, if only the voices would be quiet for just a moment. They screamed inside her head, begging for attention, wailing in a debilitating cacophony.

"Shut up! Please, just shut up!" the young troll cried out as her legs finally gave. She crashed to the floor in a crumpled heap, pressing both hands to her ears as if she could block out the voices. But they were in her head, in her head and they wouldn't leave. "Be quiet... Please, please..." Aradia was hiccuping as she spoke, and the voices used the silence after her words to start again.


it's simple just over there stop it you're upsetting wait who's there someone's coming aradia we're serious no ignore him over there hi my name is shut up nobody wants to hear it over there hey look

Aradia began to sob incoherently, trying in vain to block out the deluge of sound within her mind. However, she was distracted by another voice - this time, outside her head.
"...Hello? Ith anyone there?"

She glanced up to see another troll - about her age, unsuprisingly - with two sets of horns and some very strange eyes. One was red, while the other was blue, rather than both of them being yellow. He was dressed much like her, in tattered clothing that had seen better days; the clothes had apparently been meant for someone shorter than him, if the length of the trousers was anything to go by. Another helpful hint was the fact that they were encrusted with blood of almost every colour... although Aradia couldn't tell which colour, if any, was his. She swallowed carefully, lifting her head from her knees to stare at this new troll. "Y-Yes... I'm here," she whispered, before adding in a darker tone, "Shut up shut up shut up..."
"There'th no need to be thuch a jackathh. I'm jutht thaying hi." the boy retorted, narrowing his eyes at Aradia.
"S-sorry. I... nevermind," Aradia mumbled, placing her hands on either side of her and shakily standing up. "I was talking to someone else."

The boy looked around and frowned, his fangs jutting out out over his bottom lip. Aradia reached out and attempted to hold onto the rough cavern walls, but she slipped, flinching as she toppled-
"Hey! Watch it!" the other troll hissed, catching Aradia before she completely fell over. He cautiously helped her stand up before gripping her shoulders through the thin fabric of her shirt. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, eyebrows furrowing above those strange bi-coloured eyes.

"I... I'm okay. I think." she mumbled disconcertedly, her eyes wide.

he's just trying to no ignore him he'll ruin everyth this is the way it's meant to happe he's cute ask his name alrea leave him

Aradia shuddered. "What's your name?" she asked carefully, pulling herself free from the male troll's grip. He stared at her for a moment before replying, "Thollukth."
"...Pardon?"
"It'th my lithp, okay?!" he spat, scowling and going to turn away.
"So you're called, uh... Sollux?"
"Yeah, thure. Th'what I wath trying to thay." Sollux muttered, rolling his eyes. "We thould get going."

Oh Gog, if you don't continue this I will cry.

[KarneWarrior]

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Silly creepy friggin' crossover I came up with while reading Wee Free Men.

Spiders kill Spiders
(SkS)

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The woods were vibrant and green. The sun was out, but it wasn't a horrible burning ball of fire. It was actually quite nice. Dew sparkled on the flowers, and trembled as a red shoe dragged through them. They giggled slightly as a syrup-like blue fluid dripped on their petals.

It was entirely too nice for Vriska Serket. Of course, the fact that the flowers giggled with the touch of blood took the edge off, but it wasn't quite enough. This place was a nightmare, like something out of Kanaya's dreams. The daisies waved, and Vriska stomped one. The others screamed and huddled together as best they could. Slowly Vriska plucked each one and left it do slowly choke in front of the others. When the last flower sobbed out its last breath, she turned around.

Tavros was there, looking quite pitable and weak. Vriska smiled and strode across the meadow towards him, humming and twirling. She reached Tavros and swept him up in her dance, still humming a bright little tune. Tavros soon joined in, somehow losing his wheelchair, and they spun about and around the meadow, crushing the wailing flowers beneath their feet.

And then, as soon as it began, it stopped. Tavros clutched at the throat that wasn't there, and melted into something doughy, something strange. The warm meadow gave way to biting cold and frost, trees that looked real only when concentrated on. The dreamscape faded away into a reality without enough real to go around. Vriska smiled at the drome squirming beneath her before looking up. Something flitted behind the unreal trees.

Vriska started off after it, slowly. It fled from her, but she was faster than the lumbering beast, and soon she was too close. The thing pulled out it's only weapon, and suddenly Vriska was alone on the cliffs overlooking the beach and sea. She was in her respiteblock, waking up from the dream she'd had. And wasn't it a dream? It hadn't been real, certainly.

Vriska stood up and rubbed the blueish sleep from her eyes. "Time for breakfast, I suppose." She said aloud, perhaps a bit more loudly than was strictly needed when all alone.

"I think, perhaps," she went on, "That I will take my breakfast with Kanaya today. We do see so little of eachother. And so she dressed slowly and left her hive, speeding to Kanayas on her Rocket-boots. On the way she decided that 'rocket-boots' was quite a stupid name for such things, obvious and honest though it was. She promised herself that she would rename them something better when she got back home.

She arrived at Kanayas hive, and nearly threw up at all the bright colors. Floating over to the window she rapped thrice on the glass.

A half-asleep Kanaya arrived at the window, the bags under her eyes more pronounced than usual. She opened the glass, which vanished as though it had never been. Kanaya didn't even blink.

"What?" she muttered, rubbing one eye with the heel of her hand. Vriska kicked her in the face, which is substantially more painful when there are flames spewing from the bottom of your boot. Kanaya fell back, wide awake now, as Vriska slowly and daintily climbed into the hive. She sat on the window sill and clacked her hells together. The flames vanished and the boots fell off her feet.

Kanaya was breathing heavily, but not for long. She soon met with the same fate as Not-Tavros, and the drome died mercifully quick. Slowly, Vriska turned and looked for another one. She found her quarry, a tiny little man of dough standing at the edge of the treeline, looking with unmistakable sadness at the corpse of the older drome. time itself seemed to stop as it looked up.

Then, Vriska was in a long dress, beneath her hand was a tiny troll, barely older than a grub. Across from her was a street-hardened maverick, clutching a dirty bunny in one grubby paw and what appeared to be a hotdog in the other, although it was the alternian variety. Vriska knew exactly where the drome was. She knew exactly how to kill it and make it's last seconds of life miserable.

And yet, Vriska was trapped. Vriska would never awaken from this one. She couldn't do it. She couldn't kill the drome.

I think I got blocked again, since I seem to stir the creative juices of the community so well. heh heh heh.

But I got new material too!

Sorta. Remember this?:

THE GAME'S NOT OVER YET
Arrival

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At the center of the ruined mass of Skaia, at the edge of a crater, there was a tiny flash. It was miniscule, hardly something that would cause this sort of destruction. From this rift stepped a fourteen year old girl, purple and black robes swirling about her feet as she settled into this new universe. Multiple scared and frightened faces watched from nearby as others followed.

A gray girl, with orange horns. She sniffed at the air as she entered and made a frightened face. A angry boy with smaller horns followed her out, looking about in endless rage. Behind them came a boy with sunglasses. No horns adorned this head, but his blonde hair could just barely be seen to stand a bit higher.

More entered behind them, but the purple woman had struck up a hushed conversation with a smaller boy with raven hair and large glasses. In his hand he clutched the snapped remains of what had once been a magnificent halberd, but now only added to the black and white rubble scattered about.

A shadow passed over the congregation. Quickly the huddled, frightened masses reacted. They threw the new arrivals down, with most of them falling prone as well. But the raven haired boy didn't go down with Rose. Instead he stood taller. He said something, and weeping sofly, he climbed to the top oif the nearest hill. The shadow descended.

The beast landed before the RiskyArbiter, silent. The ground did not react as one would expect it to, there was no shaking, no rumbles. The beast landed as a cat, lightly, agile. It opened all three of its mouths, each revealing tiny hairs, slowly waving into the gullet. It was like a plant. Even its breath was sickly sweet, like a flower, but a hundred times stronger.

It ate the Arbiter in one swallow.

The beast rose into the air, swinging a head towards the congregation and taking a deep breath.

"What was that?" came the soft question, after minute of simply lying prone and thanking any and all gods that they were not the ones eaten so easily.

"It was going to be our exile. That was a minor beast, too." Said one of the survivors, getting shakily to his feet.

A woman survivor continued with, "And you're going to kill them. All of them."

I suck at dramatic dialogue!

[arianadream]

That was fantastically done! I love how you handled adapting the story and used John's voice for Rose's section, Rose for John's, etc... I think that really brought out the story.

I still nearly lose it every time at lizard Dave's funeral. Still such a fantastic story.

Yes, that was RogerMexico's idea! And I love that scene too, it was a lot of fun to act. Such an awesome story! I just finished making a list of other fics I'd like to voice sometime. (I am really hoping someone will help me do the Aragorn/Arwen-Dave/Jade fic you wrote a while back. That was so hilarious.)

[Layra]

Warning: really short.

Reminder

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Her sleep is no longer filled with prophetic clouds and the colored string of her childhood has been set aside, but still she wears a band of gold on her finger to keep fresh her memories of a face she now only sees in her dreams.

I might expand on this in the future.

[Unlicensed Busdriver]

Shortest effective sadfic I've seen. Bravo.

[Graven_Image]

It's just one sentence.


So why am I crying...?