MSPA fan fiction 2

[SkaianRedeemer]

This used to be the end of the last chapter, but I moved it to the next chapter. Then that got too long and now it’s the only thing in its own chapter. What silliness will split up chapters next? Well that’s an interesting question since I’m already aware of the answer. For now, fic, wherein the last piece moves into play.

A Hand in Holding Hands
Part 3 (1, 2, 4, 5a, 5b, 6, recap1, 7)

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“Rose? Uh… help!”

Rose stepped off the platform and took a look around the room. Not much to say: though Dave was home, Aradia was no where to be seen, and she presumed she had some business to attend to in what she had kept of her room. No one was there but Karkat, who was fiddling with the pile of DVDs he and John had built up so wide that they served as a coffee table and footrest, and Tavros, who was on the floor.

“Tavros, what…?”

His left leg was planted sole-down on the ground and his right sole-fore with the entirety of his boot through the solid metal table. His chair had rolled off almost to Rose’s side and he looked up at her upside-down from his position. Karkat selected a DVD and put it into the player.

“What happened?” Rose asked after John, who had arrived just after her, had helped her lift Tavros back into his chair and had gone to sit on the couch.

Tavros smiled lightly and said: “Pretty normal. I was just about to go to bed when I yawned. Yawning made my right leg kick out from under me and made both of them shut off.”

“You were here all night?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” he said with a nod. “Everyone else had already gone to bed, so there wasn’t really anything anyone could have done.”

Rose would not have quite said that, but bit her tongue. “So, do you want some help getting back to your room and get some sleep?” She could, with his permission, come into his room and help him the rest of the way. As a matter of fact, while for actual “bedrooms” she had only seen Kanaya’s, she had been in several of the Troll’s sections of the lab since her arrival: Equius could rarely be bothered to be torn away from his work in case of a repair, Terezi controlled access to the roof, and Gamzee’s was so large that he got lost from time to time and would text in that he needed to be found.

“Nah, I figure I should just wait here for Equius. I’ll just stay at my computer until then.” His smile was so cheery, Rose did not really have the heart to disagree with him.

“All right,” she said, “maybe I’ll go see if I can find him in a little bit, though. Eridan broke my door.”

“oH,,, uH, dID HE,” As anyone familiar with him would have expected, Tavros’s eyes flicked just off of meeting Rose’s. “I figured he might. He and Vriska haven’t been talking about anything else for the past two days.”

“Vriska too?” Rose said with a sigh, falling into Nepeta’s chair.

“Yeah. wELL, nOT TO EACH OTHER’S FACES, just to me. In fact, if they weren’t complaining about you, I’d figure they were trying to make me their auspistice.”

Rose laughed bitterly. “Well, maybe you should volunteer, because I just told Eridan I’m not doing it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I mean, I figure Vriska will come bother me about it on her own terms but no is still no.”

“Wow, that’s—!” Tavros said, and lurched forward with excitement, falling off-balance as his legs decided to stick magnet-hard to the ground. His arms flailed and Rose had to catch him before he fell straight into his own lap. “tHANKS, ” he whispered.

“No problem,” she whispered back. “You… don’t really care to see your friends turn kismeses?” she said, not really sure if she was barking up the right tree.

“No, that’s not it,” Tavros said as he pull-swivelled his chair back towards his desk and tried to set his head in his hands without touching the splayed metal hole struck by his boot in the middle of it. “It was sort of getting in the way of other things.”

“Yeah,” Rose said. “I know what you mean. New relationships can really put a wall in the middle of old ones.” She was thinking specifically of Terezi and Dave at the time, but it really did seem as though it stretched out to cover her entire group of friends. She kept talking to keep her mind off of it. “Do you think they’ll keep trying on their own?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. That’s not… uh… really what I meant, though.”

“What is it?” she asked, watching as he winced away, his head slowly disappearing into his crossed arms on his desk. “Tavros,” she said with a bit of a laugh.

“It’s… iT’S, well…” His face splotched over brownish-orange, an endearingly timed blush that nevertheless did nothing for his complexion. He then opened his mouth to give an answer, but to Rose’s surprise nothing, not even the tiniest whisper or gasp of air, actually came past his lips as he moved them.

“Tavros,” she said again, crossing her own arms.

She had to lean in to hear him, so had to ask him to repeat himself, which only made him blush harder. “…was hoping you might be interested in giving me some relationship advice.”

Rose set a hand to her lips. “You want me to auspistice for you?” she said, surprised she had managed to contain herself to a whisper. “Really?”

“Well uh, that's not really what I'd call it, I mean... well maybe, in the future if I ever get a kismesis because that would be awesome, but this is a matespritship and you can't auspistice those and... wOW, i HOPE ME BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP ISN'T THAT SURPRISING TO YOU,” Tavros said, looking as glum as ever.

“No, no, no,” Rose said, dropping her hand to better show her smile, and trying to hide her embarrassment over mucking up the simple definition of "auspistice". “You’ve got me all wrong, I’m just…” She searched her memory, but finding only irony, said with a bit of a sarcastic lilt: “…I’m honoured.”

“Really?” It was clearly his turn to be surprised. Beyond them, Sollux arrived to begin his morning code.

“Well sure! But maybe you should fill me in first. Who are we talking about? What kind of relationship? Does he or she know?”

Tavros’ face gradually began to brighten. “Well, I think so. I mean, we’ve gone outside twice already, and I really like him. But we haven’t talked much about it lately, and I didn’t know if it was me, or maybe he wasn’t interested any more because it was only twice, you know? So I didn’t think I would ask and then it looked like I wouldn’t be able to.”

“Hm,” Rose set a hand on her chin. Tavros had a good point. She might understand the Troll’s relationships in the macro but the closer she got the less she could really master. Even on Human terms she was hardly going to call two dates a commitment, and if Tavros was right his would-be matesprit was just impolite. And if he was wrong, as he was obviously hoping, there was still a chance for more. “Well, I can see why you’re all worried. Now I don’t know how ashen it is to try to figure out if a relationship is even possible, but if things are still together… who are we talking about, Tavros?”

At that moment, Vriska appeared in the middle of the room. She looked straight at them, her wry smile thinning out.

“Goober,” she greeted Tavros, and then Rose: “Bitch.”

“mORNING VRISKA,” Tavros said with a shrunken nod. Vriska’s frown deepened, but seeing nothing on which she could immediately intrude, summoned an eight-ball from her sylladex and tossed it to herself as she returned to her computer. Luckily for Rose, she was cut off from them by John and Karkat’s movie nook, but that did not stop Vriska from tossing looks at them from her web from time to time.

Rose took quick stock of the situation, which now included Tavros’ complete silence. “She… doesn’t like the idea of you dating this guy, does she?” Tavros, looking slightly petrified, coughed in response. “Was that a yes or a no?”

Tavros reached up to his throat and rubbed it, as though it hurt to speak, and whispered. “uH,,, nO, nO, sHE DOESN’T LIKE HIM AT,,, aT ALL,”

Rose tented her fingers at first, thinking over the situation and how to work around Vriska, when an independent part of her mind hit on a conclusion and stopped the rest of her train of thought outright. Lazily, her eyes slid from Tavros to Vriska and then across to the other empty side of the room as claustrophobia closed in. I just walked through a labyrinth, she thought ruefully to herself, clenching and unclenching a fist. I’ve walked all this way just to end up where I started!

“That’s what she was yelling at you about two days ago, wasn’t it?” Rose whispered. Tavros nodded slowly. “She came in early and caught you two… coming in.” Tavros nodded.

Rose knew this was not exactly polite but she had to ask: “Why Eridan, Tavros?”

“Well I don’t really know,” he said. “Have you ever heard him talking about his relationships? He’s so intense.”

“Yeah,” Rose said, looking at her hands, nodding meaninglessly. “Yeah, that’s the word I’d use.”

“And we were talking a week or so ago and he was saying how he figured that we were all land-dwellers now because there just any water any more, and got in this really deep funk, so I was talking to him and told him how nice the land is, really. And I asked if that helped and he looked really sad and said, ‘tAVV, YOURE THE ONLY ONE WWHO EVVEN BOTHERED TO CHEER ME UP,’”

Tavros’ impression was terrible, but Rose was deeply touched: very deeply, under miles of quickly accumulating oh-no-not-again. Tavros continued in the happiest tone Rose had seen him use in a while: “So we talked for a long time and two days later he came and asked me if I wanted to take a walk outside, and I didn’t really realize what he meant at first, so I said I couldn’t because of my legs and he just looked so sad all of a sudden that I had to think ‘wAIT, wHAT DOES THIS MEAN,’ and—”

“Tav,” Rose said, putting an arm on his shoulder, and then immediately: “Tavros! I’m sorry, I think I need…” Rose tried to be direct, it felt like the only way she was going to be able to say it and still stay the hell away from Eridan. Rose saw Vriska looking at them again, her eyelids lowered, and Rose dropped her hand. “I have to go take this all in a little. And I promised John I’d go watch some movies with him.”

“…oh,” Tavros said, his face falling as far as his tone of voice. “That’s okay Rose, take all the time you want.”

Oh no, don’t look like that, Rose thought, biting her lip. “Look, if he comes in in the next few minutes, why don’t you talk to him and see what you can about what’s up? I think that would really help a lot. Just go out and… do it.”

“Okay Rose,” he said, sounding even deeper in the dumps. Rose shut her eyes, swearing inwardly at herself, and stood up, making a bee-line to the couch.

“Hey Rose,” John said as she approached. “What’s up?”

“What are you two watching?” she asked.

“It’s… uh…”

Karkat, swallowing a handful of popcorn, butted in. “Innocent-Teenager-Emblematic-Of-Intended-Core-Demographic-Peppered-With-Largely-Superficial-Flaws-Falls-In-Flushed-Relationships-With-A-Variety-Of-Supernatural-And-Unusual-Matesprits-Including-An-Alien-An-Imperial-Drone-And-Especially-A-Rainbow-Drinker-Who-Fight-Against-Her-Wishes-In-Low-Budget-But-High-Flying-Fight-Scenes-Part-One-Of-Four.”

John coughed, and then leaned towards her to whisper. “‘Trollight.’”

“Oh, good,” Rose said, to John’s obvious surprise. “I’ve been so busy first thing in the morning. I need a numb mind. Is this seat taken?”

Karkat and John unwrapped their legs from around the tub of popcorn that sat between them, and Karkat handed it to Rose as she vaulted the back. “Karkat,” she said as she sat down, “I promise, it’ll be like I’m not even here. If you want me to pass a punch John’s way, you just tell me.”

Karkat gave her a wary eye, John a look that showed he did not fully grasp what she was implying, and Karkat at last decided to roll back to the movie while muttering: “Sollux was right. You are fucking turning into Kanaya.”

Rose just sat quietly and ate her popcorn. About half an hour later, Feferi arrived, gasped and immediately took a seat beside Rose, making Karkat break out into a kicking spat that only ended when they both took a seat on the floor. Kanaya joined them later, taking Rose’s old seat, to which Karkat did not object as he had, at that point, been reduced to blubbering tears by the film. Last of all came Jade, who took a seat beside Rose. The film completed, there was a clamouring demand (Rose decided to conclude that John’s muffled laughter constituted “demand”) to play the sequel.

Feferi almost started bouncing. “Rose, Jade, you have to see the next one. This is where it really gets interesting.”

Karkat, muttering behind his hand, said something to the effect of “Yeah, to the eyes.”

Feferi wagged her finger at him over her shoulder. “I’m not going to hear you complaining once he’s on screen.” Karkat shrugged. “Spends the entire movie in a loincloth,” she continued after a pause, referring, Rose assumed, to the young Imperial Drone character. “He’s gorgeous. It’s the same actor as in the first movie but like,” she closed her eyes, and swept both hands outwards. “…Completely grown up.”

John snickered and turned toward the back of the couch. “Hey, you hearing this?” he said to the rest of the room.

Feferi’s hand slapped to her mouth as she laughed at own misfortune. “Sollux!” she called. “I LOV-E YOU!”

Their Mage of Doom swatted a dismissive hand in their direction. Karkat grunted. “Dude, get rid of your hate-on for this series and help me and Egbert not be the only guys over here, huh?”

“Not a chanth in hell, Karkat.”

As Karkat, still muttering, composed himself and set to the technical details of playing the next film. Rose took a check of the room. Tavros had stuck around, just as he had promised, and was essentially watching the movie with the rest of them from his chair, looking as forlorn as before. There was no sign of Eridan. Her sweep completed, Rose turned to her side and looked up at Kanaya, setting a hand on her leg.

“Hey,” she said. “You get any sleep?”

“Enough, I suppose,” Kanaya replied, only briefly meeting her eyes. “It was a bit of a late night.”

Rose could not help but wonder at that. A “late night” had almost become their personal byword for a lengthy, involved conversation, but Rose had been far too flustered at the news of her own encounter with the three Trolls to have been much of an eloquent conversationalist the night before. On Kanaya’s advice she had gone to “play” with Jade and Nepeta to cool down, but Jade had recognized her friend’s mood and they had retreated to their corner of Aradia’s for a bout of sleepover-style complaining and counselling. Rose had invited Kanaya to go, but she had refused at the time, which had only really made sense. Now, Rose could think of a million things that could be wrong, but had nothing to work with.

As Karkat returned to his spot on the couch, remote in hand, Rose made a point to get quickly to her feet. “I think I should get going,” she said. “Equius should be up soon enough, and someone’s got to get him to pick up the pace and help Tavros. Also, Eridan may have broken my door.”

Kanaya seemed a touch taken aback and replied, “That’s…” She turned to Karkat, who had started chuckling the moment he heard it, and then back to Rose. “…unfortunate.”

“Yeah. When he shows up, would someone tell him to get on his damn computer?” She meant “John’s computer”, as it had been leant to Eridan from what Rose assumed was the a corner of her friend’s heart made of pure gold and fucking chocolate considering how Eridan had described the loss of his own. She tried to sound angry as she said it, as though she had left him some sort of nasty message, but Tavros gave the tiniest of smiles in response.

As she left, she stopped and, trying to appear casual, dropped down just behind Kanaya. “Hey,” she said. Though the pre-movie trailers-and-propaganda had begun (“Remember kids, an exercise regimen of at least an hour a day leads to a healthy life. Of course,” he says with a laugh, “an exercise regimen of less than forty-five minutes a culling offence!” followed by the earworm jingle), Kanaya was looking towards her nails, turning them over in her hands. She was not really paying them any attention, simply staring off into space.

“I was hoping…” Rose said, and could not help but notice that John took an immediate interest into the mandatory calisthenics routine at the time of the film’s release. “…we could have a chance to hang out later.”

“Yeah,” Kanaya said, apparently listening a bit more than she was watching. “Sure, let’s.”

Rose was not really sure what to make of that at least at the moment, but later, she promised, she would do what she could. From where Rose sat, Kanaya’s head was not far from her hands, and she extended a finger towards her and brushed with its tip at her hair. It was all Rose could really do. Kanaya must have noticed as she turned slightly back and smiled, lips pressed tight together, and held up her hand in a goodbye wave. Taking to her feet, Rose headed over to the transportalizer, smiling at Tavros. A lot of people wanted her to play relationship detective today, she supposed, but that didn’t preclude keeping a close eye on an established relationship. You know, she thought. Whatever it is.

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Tavros’ impression of Eridan is indeed terrible by my standards: in Musical Thrones, some of the other trolls can mimic one another much closer than that.

Speaking of MT: “Trollight” formerly appeared in Musical Thrones Pt 2. In fact, this is more or less a direct continuation of that scene, where Feferi promised to show the movie to everyone, though a few important persons are missing. I’m not saying the two fics exist in the same continuity, because they don’t, but it’s possible that Sollux and Feferi’s date happened all the same.

[Graven_Image]

8irds of 4 F34TH3R

Epilogue: Ascend

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OPEN MEMO

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turntechGodhead opened memo RAINBOW RUMPUS PSYCHE WARD
turntechGodhead invited gallowsCalibrator to memo
turntechGodhead invited arachnidsGrip to memo

TG: ok
TG: i think we can safely say this little rivalry has gotten out of hand
GC: 1 THOUGHT W3 W3R3 OV3R TH1S D4V3
GC: W3 WON SH3 LOST
AG: And now you’re here to glo8. Wonderful.
AG: Can I leave now?
TG: bugger off vriska
TG: and by bugger off i mean bugger on right back here and listen
TG: this whole rivalry thing
TG: its not going to stop
TG: but i think you two need to chill out
GC: OH Y34H R34L SMOOTH D4V3
GC: TRY1NG TO SQU3LCH 4 BLOSSOM1NG K1SMES1SS1TUD3
GC: TH4TLL 34RN YOU BROWN13 PO1NTS FOR SUR3 >]: |
AG: Ok, first off, eww.
AG: You’re nuts if you think I’d ever delve into any quadrant with you.
AG: Second, ewwwwwwww.
AG: You’re discussing make-out prospects?
AG: In front of me?
GC: 1 W4S B31NG 1RON1C
GC: OR 1S TH3 R1GHT T3RM S4RC4ST1C
GC: 1 FORG3T
TG: yeah and
TG: this is not the point
TG: what im trying to bring about is a cessation of hostilities
TG: and a reimplementation of borders
TG: and all that other crap that boils down to “make peace”

TG: ok i was seriously waiting for one of you two to come back with some scathing remark
TG: don’t leave me hanging here girls
TG: hello
GC: UM
GC: D4V3
TG: yeah
GC: 4R3 YOU W4X1NG 4SH3N FOR US
TG: what on god’s green earth does W4X1NG 4SH3N mean
AG: She wants to know if you’re suggesting an Auspisticeship.
TG: yeah more alien bullcrap terminology
TG: stupid human translation please
GC: 4USP1ST1C3SH1P 1S WH3N TWO TROLLS H4T3 34CHOTH3R V3RY MUCH
GC: 4ND 4 TH1RD TROLL LOOKS 4T TH3 R3P3RCUSS1ONS OF TH31R POSS1BL3 K1SM3S1SS1TUD3
GC: 4ND D3C1D3S TO ST3P 1N 4ND M3D14T3 B3TW33N TH3M
TG: ok yeah
TG: there is no way that happens often enough that you need a word for it
AG: You’d 8e surprised. ::::P
TG: yeah so
TG: i guess im waxing ashen for you two
TG: the ashiest ash-waxing that ever waxed
TG: ashen
TG: but this is not for either of your benefits
TG: im just interested in not seeing you tear this session apart like we did yours
TG: on accident
AG: Nice going there, 8y the way.
TG: ok shut up
GC: BUT W41T
GC: YOUR3 ASH3N FOR M3 AND VR1SK4
GC: TH4T M34NS OUR R3D L34N1NGS 4R3 SHOT >:(
TG: yeah sorry there
TG: but I can’t love someone im trying to corral back into line
TG: ill be glad to put this little phase behind me
TG: but darn it youre going to have to give a little too
AG: You’re starting some sick fires there, Strider.
TG: start nothing
TG: i am engulfed in them

OPEN PESTERLOG

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carcinoGeneticist began trolling arachnidsGrip

CG: I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD OF YOURSELF
AG: What?
CG: YOU KNOW, I HATE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE
CG: AND YOU, EVEN THROUGH YOUR BURNT OUT EMOTIONAL PSYCHE, MANAGE TO RAG QUITE EFFECTIVELY ON ME.
CG: BUT THE WHOLE REDROM WITH JOHN JUST CROSSES THE LINE.
CG: AND DON’T THINK I’VE FORGOTTEN THE THING WITH THE IMPERIAL DRONE COSTUME.
AG: So what are you saying?
CG: I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU.
AG: Awwww, you really mean it?
CG: I HATE YOU FROM THE BLACKEST PIT OF MY DRIED UP SHELL OF A HEART.
CG: I COULD CHOKE YOU TO DEATH RIGHT NOW EXCEPT I DON’T KNOW WHERE IN THIS STUPID PILE OF MASONRY YOU’RE SLEEPING.
AG: Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?
AG: I h8 you too, Karkat.
AG: And 8y the w8y...
AG: You just helped me fill all the quadrants.
CG: WAIT
CG: ALL OF THEM?
AG: Yes!!!!!!!!
CG: WELL
CG: DANG IT.
CG: THAT JUST MAKES ME HATE YOU EVEN MORE.
AG: I’d s8y this rel8tionship is off to a gr8 start.
AG: So long, jerkhole.
CG: SEE YOU, SPIDERWITCH.

arachnidsGrip ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist

OPEN PESTERLOG

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TC: sO wAiT mAn,
TC: YoU’rE sAyInG vRiSkA aNd ThE hUmAn KiD wErE aLwAyS sUpPoSeD tO gEt ToGeThEr?
That’s quite right. I helped bring them together because history says their love helped bring about the new universe.
And history says they fell in love because I helped bring them together.
Past, Present, Future.
It’s all written in stone.
TC: DuUuUuUdE, tHiS iS lIkE, i DoN’t EvEn KnOw, LiKe A...
Don’t say it.
TC: a MiRaClE.
You said it.
Terrific.
TC: WeLl I gUeSs I sAiD iT bEcAuSe HiStOrY sAiD i WoUlD
TC: aNd HiStOrY sAiD i WoUlD bEcAuSe...
That’s it, I’m leaving.

??? ceased manipulating terminallyCapricous

THE END

[Beep]

@SR: GOOD FIC BEST PAIRINGS.
@Graven: NINJA'D BY AWESOME!

[Nanakii]

Wow, nice jobs guys, loving all of these fics!

[Metaflare]

First two posts of this page are the two fics im following so much. And one ended with an amazing note. I LOVE IT.

[arcaneCalligramancer]

Here's another terrible thing. Bad rom-fluff, worst characterization. Writin' is hard!

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“What's 'kissing'?”

Rose stared at the innocent-looking Kanaya, and slowly lifted one eyebrow. John and Karkat stared, too, but for different reasons.

“I've never heard of it before,” the green-blooded troll continued. That was too much for Karkat. Grey skin beginning to mottle red, he stepped forward and prepared to shout – only for John to slap a hand over the troll boy's mouth.

Rose studied Kanaya for a moment more (who blushed a little under the keen-eyed scrutiny) and then smiled. “I see. A cultural misunderstanding, perhaps?” She slipped her arm around the other girl's waist and guided her towards the door as she continued. “Well, in the interests of inter-species relations and so on, I will endeavor to explain. It's a complicated topic, so I fear we will be exploring the subject for quite some time.”

The door hissed open.

“I'm very grateful,” Kanaya assured her human partner.

The door hissed shut.

“I'm very fucking disgusted!”Karkat shouted, yanking away from John's grip.

“Or jealous,” John said, leaning against the wall in what he thought of as 'Cool Like Dave' pose.

“No, fucking gogdamn disgusted.” The troll turned on John, waving his arms for emphasis. “It's ridiculous, of course trolls know what kissing is! And fucking Lalonde falls for it - “

“Or she knew what was going on from the beginning? I mean, Rose is smart. Like, really smart.”

“Fuck you, don't interrupt me when I'm getting my rant on. And bullshit, she's a moron and obviously fell for Kanaya's stupid shitty trick - “

John rolled his eyes and walked away, grinning a little at Karkat's outraged shouting. Hopefully the other boy would pick up on the fact that John was purposefully getting on his nerves by doing that. If Karkat didn't, John would need to ask Dave for advice on stepping up his game, and these days that almost guaranteed bringing Terezi in – he shuddered a little just thinking about it, and walked faster.

“John you miserable fucking miscreant get back here I hate you so much -”

[JNJ]

8irds of 4 F34TH3R
Epilogue: Ascend

That is quite an ending. I was already laughing at the first line:

RAINBOW RUMPUS PSYCHE WARD

I think Dave had the right idea about troll words.

[story]

Karkat will take any excuse to be angry, I guess.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Thanks Graven, now I ship Gamzee and Scratch. Don't you see what you've done? (I am going to miss your fic. I am.)

[KilroyWasHere]

I...

I think I'm expressing a MATING FONDNESS toward you, Graven. You too, Skaian.

[Ember]

Here's another terrible thing. Bad rom-fluff, worst characterization. Writin' is hard!

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“What's 'kissing'?”

Rose stared at the innocent-looking Kanaya, and slowly lifted one eyebrow. John and Karkat stared, too, but for different reasons.

“I've never heard of it before,” the green-blooded troll continued. That was too much for Karkat. Grey skin beginning to mottle red, he stepped forward and prepared to shout – only for John to slap a hand over the troll boy's mouth.

Rose studied Kanaya for a moment more (who blushed a little under the keen-eyed scrutiny) and then smiled. “I see. A cultural misunderstanding, perhaps?” She slipped her arm around the other girl's waist and guided her towards the door as she continued. “Well, in the interests of inter-species relations and so on, I will endeavor to explain. It's a complicated topic, so I fear we will be exploring the subject for quite some time.”

The door hissed open.

“I'm very grateful,” Kanaya assured her human partner.

The door hissed shut.

“I'm very fucking disgusted!”Karkat shouted, yanking away from John's grip.

“Or jealous,” John said, leaning against the wall in what he thought of as 'Cool Like Dave' pose.

“No, fucking gogdamn disgusted.” The troll turned on John, waving his arms for emphasis. “It's ridiculous, of course trolls know what kissing is! And fucking Lalonde falls for it - “

“Or she knew what was going on from the beginning? I mean, Rose is smart. Like, really smart.”

“Fuck you, don't interrupt me when I'm getting my rant on. And bullshit, she's a moron and obviously fell for Kanaya's stupid shitty trick - “

John rolled his eyes and walked away, grinning a little at Karkat's outraged shouting. Hopefully the other boy would pick up on the fact that John was purposefully getting on his nerves by doing that. If Karkat didn't, John would need to ask Dave for advice on stepping up his game, and these days that almost guaranteed bringing Terezi in – he shuddered a little just thinking about it, and walked faster.

“John you miserable fucking miscreant get back here I hate you so much -”

Oh come on. The only way this is "bad rom-fluff" is if you think rom-fluff in and of itself is bad. I don't, and it made me smile. So cute!

[deathsbuddy]

Anyone know whatever happened to Scratch? Was Dave going off to fight Hephaestus supposed to be the conclusion?

[nightmarechild]

Here's my idea for how the Davesprite fight will go. Leave all hate after the tone

You get what you get:

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Even with all the extra power Davesprite angerly admitted to himself, he was just getting tired. He had been fighting ever creature in the book to defend his sleeping self and it was taking it's toll. After another blow to the chest and coughing up more blood he mentally cursed himself. He really didn't want to do this but it was his last option.

He briefly recalled when he first had the idea of self prototyping. He had seen the other sprites in action and wondered what would happen with him. Johns sprite could create kitchen appliances and his could create puppets. So many god damn puppets. Well he had a few thoughts in mind of what his would be. Would it be shitty swords? Records? Hell he even thought it might be shades.

Though in hindsight he liked the powers he received from being a sprite, even though it left a sour feeling thinking about it. So after a few more sword hits he called upon the games mechanics and an orange beam shot out above all the creatures. Out of it fell not blades or records...but strings. The strings glowed orange and constricted every enemy. It brought back a pang of anger. He, even now as a ghostly sprite, was still mad that out of all the skills he learned from his brother the one he excelled at was the most useless, puppeteering.

He held out his offhand in the oh so recognizable position and orange wisps formed to give a reference to the strings. He saw his chance to release all of his pent up rage, as little as he showed it this game takes a lot out of you, but he pushed that thought away. He didn't yank the strings causing the enemies to be ripped to pieces, he didn't make them fight each other, he didn't keep them still while he slaughtered them, that's not his style. That's not something a Strider would do.

With a flex of his fingers all the creatures lifted their weapons in a 'present arms!' military fashion. He paused looking at all the emotionless faces, then back at himself. He slowly clenched his fingers linking everything to himself, the strings would pull their limbs to make them move as he wanted to. And so he sheathed his sword again.

Right into the hole in his chest.

The monstrous creatures weren't so lucky and blood, well...oil, seeped out as they mimicked his movements and plunged their weapons into their chests. There were all kinds of ogres, some with swords from the forge, some with makeshift weapons, hell some even had impaled themselves on sharper pieces of rubble.

"Caw caw motherfuckers. Caw fuckin' caw."

Davesprite sighed, he knew what came next, something he couldn't avoid as the sprite powers took not only his puppeteering skill but also his speed and without missing the beat the strings latched on to the next available target but the built up force that was needed to restrain the ogres and cyclops's was to much. And so the pillars were sheered apart in many places. With a bit of focus Davesprite retracted the stings but the damage was done and, another thing he hated to admit, to fast for him.

He sighed and observed the room around him crumbling. His head snapped back up and he remembered, sleeping Dave. If it weren't for the wings even the sprite speed wouldn't have been enough to make it in time. He used his sword, ignoring the pain as the blade was pulled out of him, to sheer a piece of rubble in half. With all the strength he had left he snapped out his wings and defended against the collapsing rock and rubble. After a very hard slew of debris Davesprite fell down next to his sleeping self.

It was a few minutes before Dave woke up. He didn't show any of the emotion he was surely feeling but reached a hand out getting a bit of orange blood on it.

"So, this it?" Dave said to the broken Davesprite.

"Yeah, really gave it my all I guess."

"I can tell, you really collapsed this part of the temple?"

"What the hell does it look like? Of course I did."

There was a bit of an awkward pause but Dave broke it, "So is this goodbye?"

"Yeah, and hey..."

"Hm?"

"I know it hasn't been as long as it was for me but I have to say, your turning out to be a better Dave than I was."

"Mission accomplished me."

Davesprite allowed himself something from that line that if anyone else saw they would tell their grandchildren about it and how they were a first hand witness. A smirk.

"Look on the less terrible side, you definitely went out in style."

"Hell, is it even possible for me not to?"

"Probably not but still..." Dave almost couldn't stop a tear from running down his cheek but he managed. This sight, actually seeing his alternate future self die, not just a corpse of a failed attempt warning him not to meddle to much, but an actual alternate of himself dieing for good? That really forced him to see his own mortality. If he couldn't reach the turntables, he was mortal.

"One more thing Dave."

Dave stayed silent for fear of loosing his cool.

"Just promise me...promise me you won't fuck everything up like I did."

"Well...don't see the point I could always just do the same thing you did..."

"Oh please you know as well as I that's not the way to go, if you do it too where does it stop? Will it just be an endless chain of Dave's fucking things up and going back to self prototype? Besides that's not what I meant."

"What'd you mean?"

"...The game changes you Dave. Don't let it change you like it did me. You know how I came because John died? I also came back to stop you from becoming me. When John and Jade died, I didn't cry. No tears at all, I just stood there and gave Rose a shoulder to lean on."

"I understand man, I'll try to bu-"

"No you don't. I didn't cry when 2 of my closest friends died, died to the point that I couldn't save them with time travel. I suppose I should make the promise different, do change Dave. Change for the better."

"Yeah..." Dave was to choked up to feel the shame about being choked up.

"If you learn one thing from me remember this. There are things more important than keeping your cool. Screw your reputation, there are only four of you."

Dave brushed moisture from his eye before it could become a tear and watched as the orange birdlike version of himself slowly started to fade. His hands, which he didn't even realize where holding on to Davesprites wing, fell to the ground. He seemed to go right back to before this and stood up with a blank face again.

Well, almost blank. He allowed himself a smirk to, the only time he was glad he was wrong. Sure it was goodbye and a good wake up call about mortality, but it wasn't the last goodbye. He tucked the spirograph inscribed amulet back into his suit and strode off towards his goal again still smirking. A passerby would be able to see the pleased look in his eye through his shades. Because of the active light of the amulet from around his neck lighting up his eyes.

----Dial Tone----

[Graven_Image]

NC, that was... weird. Very weird. Not bad, but weird.

Everyone else, thank you for all the positive comments about 8irds of 4 F34TH3R. I'm pretty sure I'll be writing again soon, as soon as I get an idea.

And with that, I fade back into lurker-mode. whoooosh.

[nightmarechild]

Meh, I just wondered what the whole sprite objects would be like for Davesprite and it kinda grew from there. (Though I'm guessing it's probably just going to be swords). A lot of my ideas come from something simple.

Oh and if there is one thing you should know, it's that I most CERTAINLY am a weird person.

[vehementPropagandist]

Oh and if there is one thing you should know, it's that I most CERTAINLY am a weird person.

And that's why we love you, NC.

[nightmarechild]

Oh and if there is one thing you should know, it's that I most CERTAINLY am a weird person.

And that's why we love you, NC.

ffffffffffLIES!!!!!! No one likes me! And I said to leave your hate at the end of the tone because I just want the hate over with quick and painless!

I HEARD A TONE DID YOU HEAR A TONE!

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I was going to post "leave your hate after the beep" but then I remembered that someones username is beep so that would lead to bad things.

[Domoz]

Domoz
Domoz what are you doing Domoz
This isn't even the right holiday
This writing isn't even very good.
Domoz, what do you think you're doing trying to write fluff.


Herp Derp.

12th Perigee

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Unlike humans, trolls fail to find the idea of snow romantic in any sense of the word, in fact, most trolls see snow a deadly threat that could easily lead to the loss of your fingers and/or toes.
For a young Karkat Vantas, the last 12th Perigee he had experienced had been the coldest of his life, as well as being the first time he had seen any sort of snow. On any normal 12th Perigee, Karkat would have been holed up inside with his lusus, hopefully with a nice fire blazing and a behemoth decorated. This Perigee was not a normal one, as there was Karkat, leaning his far enough out of his window so as to be in danger of falling out.
His eyes scanned the horizon for some sign of movement, anything that could possibly be his lusus. Three days ago the crab had left his hive, and though he would never admit it, Karkat was incredibly worried that his lusus hadn't returned yet. With a sigh, he leaned back and closed the window. What if something bad had happened to his lusus? Karkat shivered. He hated to admit it, but he had no idea how to take care of himself, and had no desire for anything bad to happen to his lusus.
The mental picture of his old crab, bleeding out in the snow, sprang unbidden to his mind. Karkat shuddered. Maybe, he reasoned, his lusus had come in the other side of his hive and he hadn't seen. It took all of his willpower to keep himself from sprinting down the stairs, but when he arrived in the darkened living room Karkat's heart sank to his stomach. The fire had gone out and his lusus still wasn't home.
Karkat looked up at the far wall. There was a picture he had drawn sweeps ago of his lusus pinned to it. He was crying, he realized, and quickly brought up his sleeve to wipe the tears off of his face. There was no time to be crying, there as a lusus in need of saving.

Karkat threw open the door and stumbled backwards as a familiar crab barged through, dragging something. “Y-what the hell do you think you're doing?”,he sputtered ,”you can't just come in here after three days and-” He was cut off by a loud thump as the tail of what was quite possibly the largest behemoth Karkat had ever seen hit the floor. His lusus shook itself off, and piles of snow hit the floor right next to it. “Y-you asshole, you can't just leave for three day like that and-” Karkat sobbed, he didn't know when he had started crying again “Just give a guy some warning next time, okay?” He scrubbed at his face with his sleeve. It was bad enough that his lusus had seen him crying...
And suddenly there were claws around him, if Karkat had to guess, he would say that it was his lusus trying to be comforting and give him a hug; the troll himself went completely against his natural instincts and grabbed his lusus tight around the neck, sobbing even harder.

“You fucking bastard, don't ever worry me like that again”

[Beep]

Oh and if there is one thing you should know, it's that I most CERTAINLY am a weird person.

And that's why we love you, NC.

ffffffffffLIES!!!!!! No one likes me! And I said to leave your hate at the end of the tone because I just want the hate over with quick and painless!

I HEARD A TONE DID YOU HEAR A TONE!

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I was going to post "leave your hate after the beep" but then I remembered that someones username is beep so that would lead to bad things.

I saw what you did there.

@Domoz: D'AWWWWWWWWW.

[kmsumrall]

Sober

Part 1

Part 2

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“Dude... How long have we been here?”

“A couple of hours. Hours with those shitheads running around like cockulebeasts minus heads, no supervision or damn direction. Fuckers are probably wasting the little resources they have left like grubs fresh out of the caves, eating everything in sight like hungry little caterpillars!”

“Man... Why are so angry my motherfucking brother? You just gotta relax man. We won this shit right?”

“Won?!” Karkat shouted, pacing around the small room. “What the hell did we win? A slow death! We are going to end up eating each other!”

“I wouldn’t eat you man. I’d honk my last honk before I hurt my best motherfucker. We be slamming Faygos in the great TrollAfter.”

“You are a fucking moron, you know that? Oh wait, you don’t know that because you are a moron! How you climbed any rung on the fucking ladder is a fucking mir- beyond even the wisest trolltorian! Trolls fight! Trolls Kill! And then we get all get eaten by a rapid MotherGrub!”

“I thought they got motherfucking meteored?”

“Shut up!”


“Hey Karkat?”

“What?”

“How long have we been here?”

~

“Dropping fat beats like motherfucking elites
making young trolls wet their seats
While they creep and cheap those
Pi-rate i-rate in a date with hate and
create a new motherfucking slime
to to make us all sublime
while my troller Big K gives up the time!”

“Karkat?”

“Motherfucker ya’ll dropped the beat?”

“Karkat?”

~

“You cold man?”

“Cold? It’s fucking burning up! My rage could steam the damn ocean into rain! Fuck! When I find out who put me in here I’m going to put them onto a rage rocket into the fucking sun!”

“Are you hungry? I’m hungry like a motherfucker.”

“It’s only been a day! We went through worse getting to your denizen! Remember that shit? Stuck in a cave for four days. All we had were those stupid slime pies and I know those had negative nutrition!”

“Dude I don’t feel so chill man...”

“Didn’t you just say you were- Gamzee!”

~

Gamzee was walking in the green grass under a dim twilight sky. All his friends were walking with him, just slamming some Faygo, chatting and chill as a cool motherfucker.

“Man this is great, am I right? Just motherfucking chillin an’ being chill.”

Across the sky a rainbow filled the sky. The grass was soft and cool and everyone was having a good time. Karkat was all relaxed, Terezi was laughing it up, Eriden was sitting in a pool, smiling. Everything was smart and cool and happy and rainbows and oats and the old goat and... and...

~

“Karkat?”

“Oh good, you aren’t dead. It’s bad enough being trapped with you, being stuck with a dead troll is a fucking nightmare. Stinks worse than musclebeast shit baking in the sun.”

“You got any motherfucking pie?”

“What? No! Why would I have shit like that? You shouldn’t be eating it anyways, we need it to sleep! Unless you like nightmare and blood soaked dreams. Blood soaked in the bad way!”

“I want some pie motherfucker. I want to get pie!” Gamzee started coughing and advanced, arms flailing all around. Karkat jumped back.

“Hey dipshit, stop being a stupid trollor! We have to-hey!” Karkat ducked under Gamzee’s fist. Old troll instincts took over and he pushed the troll to the ground.

Gamzee kicked and connected with Karkat shoulder, making him yell in pain. The troll jumped up, sweating more heavily that Equius on his worst day. His pupils shrunk to pinpricks and he shouted out, reaching with long gangly arms. “You took it motherfucker! Give it up man!”

“Calm the fuck down! What-”

The make-upped troll started screaming and backed into a corner. “Cuttlefish! Fishcuttle wish motherfucking claws! I don’t want it! It don’t want a motherfucker!”

Karkat stayed crouched, watching as the other trolled clawed at the air. “What is wrong with you?!”

“There is a motherfucking grub on the ceiling! It’s looking at me! It’s crawling across the ceiling at me! Mothingfucking why is this skin all over my arm?!”

“What the drone killing- Fuck!” Karkat jumped back as purple splashed to the floor. He tackled the bleeding troll and threw him to the ground, pinning Gamzee’s neck to the ground with his elbow. “Stop fighting! Don’t fight it!” Gamzee responded by biting down, drawing red. Karkat saw his blood and his vision went the same color. Growling, he threw the other troll against the wall. He started slamming his fist into Gamzee’s head, rubbing his face into the floor. “You do not” smash! “Bite your” Slap! “Fucking leader!”

The make-upped troll lay inert, barely breathing. Karakt looked from the troll to his purple fist and back to the troll.

“Fuck.”

~

It was kinda cool but was warming up a little and the twilight was getting more light than twi and not everyone was chill. Karkat was yelling about something and Vriska had lost her eye. Equius kept breaking his horn off over and over again.

“Chill, this aint chill. This isn’t cool my motherfucking comrades. This is a nice place you know.”
Nice?
“That’s what I said. Right? I said that right?”
How could anything with this group of idiots be nice?
“My motherfucking Karkat is nice man. Him are Terezi and flushed right?”
Two people who are always at each other’s throats and that's your example of flushed? If that’s red for you then I’d hate to see what black is.
“Man you think too much motherfucker. Where are you? Come hit a Faygo with me and eat some pie, right?”
That stuff is gone. No more.
“Motherfucker I have some right here.”
Do you?
“Do I what?”

Gamzee started eating and everything was chill again. Chill like his face, all watery and fallen. Rainbows are chill.

~

“My shirt is ruined you know. Can’t wear it covered in blood, you know how Nepeta gets around that smell and half naked trolls. I try to fucking take care of you idiots and look what happens. I get bite worse than a snake bite. You know, if you all had slowed down getting into the game I could have told you to prototype with other things. At least make it so that damned abomination Feferi took care of wasn’t used as a source for monsters. Now I have to sleep on the cold floor while you stay wrapped up like good little pupa on hatching day. I have to keep cleaning up after you. Every mess. Worse than Tavros in a breakable stuff shop.”

“Like that time you told Vriska that turtle spit would make a good eye shadow. Gave her that rash? Had to keep you three worlds apart to keep her from killing you or worse. Everyone always wanted to kill someone for something and it was my damn job to make sure that didn’t happen. Hypocritical asshats kept trying to bump me off and take my rightful position but who did they come crying to when the shit went down? Me. Fucking me. Karkat, he wants to kill me. Karkat, let me kill her. Karkat this, Karkat that, auspistice for me, make her Kismeses for me. Always me.”

“You and your stupid miracles didn’t help either. Convincing Tavros he’d walk again was a dick move even for Vriska. No one ever saw the shit you saw in the clouds, you know? Kept fucking us up. I don’t even know how you made Equius decide to not hit things anymore. Glad that didn’t last long.”

“...”

“How long are you going to take that fucking nap?”

“...”

“Wake up! As your leader I order you to wake up!”

“...”

“Please... Just wake the fuck up...”

Part 3

Writer's Notes

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I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best Gamzee or Karkat writer. Voices might be kinda off. Plus I'm writing into a subject I'm not as knowledgeable about.

[Graven_Image]

@kmsumrall: There needs to be a new category just for gamzee and his pies. Soporfic? Piefic? The possibilities are endless.


Also, I've gotten another idea for a fic of my own. It involves Gamzee. But I'm probably going to be writing him a little OOC, since I see no valid reason to drop F bombs every other word, no matter who the character is.

[mutecebu]

Salamancers, Dear Readers

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It had been a month since they had left the turtle city of Ruindell, and the Fellowship was feeling the strain of the journey. Now, deep underground, in a land filled with gears and molten rock, they had long since lost all since of direction and relied on the memory of a mysterious old salamander.

“Are we lost? I think we’re lost.”

Everyone had been thinking it, but Crumplehat was the only one who would say it aloud. The salamander had dishonoured his ancestors beyond comprehension with his frivolous accessory, but had a stout heart and was a welcome member of the group.

“No, no, it’s this way.” The grey-cloaked amphibian took the lead again, and lead them still deeper. They were occasionally accosted by imps and underlings, and would abscond as fast as their short feet would carry them, pausing frequently to allow the turtle to catch up.

“These monsters got you on edge, old man?” asked the disgruntled crocodile, who had recently lost everything on the lohacse.

“No. There is a greater enemy who seeks us, but is not yet aware of my presence.”

“Can you take ‘em?”

“There are many powers in this world, for Good or for Evil. Some are greater than I am. And against some I have not yet been tested.”

A glint of purple is seen at the other side of the vast hall, and a lone salamander walks into view, clad in black and bearing the purple sash of its trainer.

“This foe is beyond any of you. Run!”

The Fellowship beheld his robes as their leader stepped up to face his opponent.

“The Secret Wizard. I might have known.”

“Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer.”

[Solaris]

Salamancery?

[Isoraqathedh]

So if you read my thread (no you didn't) you might hear of a new piece of Literature (No. 2.*) coming around. It's a sburbventure, but as that thread already contains a book and some music, where do you think I should put it?

Also, Story 7 begins today.

[KarneWarrior]

Rose Lalondes 101 Things I will not do in a RPG. Anymore.
Numbers 27-30

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27:Gamzee and Nepeta are not flushed for eachother, and spreading rumors is a horrible thing to do.

Again, the whispers started. It happened every time she walked into the room. Nepeta had no idea what they were whispering about, but she could gather an educated guess from how they behaved.

For starters, the whispers intensified if Gamzee walked in with her. She would get knowing smiles from some of the more gentle trolls and disgusted sneers from the rest.
The second thing she noticed was that Rose and John wore the biggest smiles of all. This, if previous experience was any indication, was a very, very bad thing.
And third, Every once in a while she could make out the words "Bow chicka bow wow" in the whispers.

Nepeta shrugged it off, but she couldn't help but wonder; How did they know?

28: I will not invent my own typing quirk. Nor will I use it in a conversation with a live troll
SHOW PESTERLOG

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--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

[EB]: hEy, karkat
[EB]: look at what i'm doing
[CG]: DEAR GOD
[CG]: THERE'S SOMETHING HORRIBLY WRONG WITH YOU
[CG]: IS THAT A TYPING QUIRK?
[EB]: yEah!!!!
[CG]: NO. JUST... NO
[EB]: hEy, i spEnt alot of timE trying to think this thing up
[EB]: thErE's no rEason to BE mEan aBout it
[CG]: THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER
[CG]: ALTHOUGH IN SOME WAYS IT'S KIND OF FLATTERING
[CG]: YOU WHINY LITTLE BITCH GRUBS WANT TO BE JUST LIKE PAPA
[EB]: i takE offEnsE to that
[EB]: im not a whiny littlE Bitch gruB
[CG]: FUCK YOU

--carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB]--

[EB]: whos thE whiny littlE Bitch gruB now

29:I will not cover Karkat in his sleep with Jades squiddles.

Karkat opened his eyes to find... Nothing.

Everything was black. There was some sort of plushie darkness pressing down on him. He thrashed about, trying to get it off him, but it wouldn't budge. On top of the pile, Rose and John high fived.

30:I will not swap out Ahab's Crosshairs for a mop.

Eridian stalked through the corridors, hunting for Fangirls/boys/platypi. His footsteps were silent, trained from years of FLARPing. His yellowed eyes darted left and right, checking and doublechecking each corner for the telltale signs of a Fan. His ears pricked, and presently the soft sound of a suppressed squee came from around a nearby corner.

Slowly, with deliberation born of supreme confidence, Eridian reached into his strife portfolio. Without looking his hand seeked the place where his Riflekind absratus had always resided. Inside he found the thin stick of Ahab's Crosshairs and drew out...

A mop. The fangirl screeched out from around the corner. Eridian, in desperation, swung the mop at the approaching monstrosity. The thing collided solidly with the Fangirls face. She flew backwards and smashed into the wall. She slumped to the floor, and Eridian did likewise.

He vowed that if he ever found out who had taken Ahab's Crosshairs, he would personally make them wish they had never been born.

(I'm not on my computer with the colors, so that's why the pesterlog is all black.

[Graven_Image]

Do more. These are hilarious.