MSPA fan fiction 2

[ToreaderTornado]

@Karne: Thank you! And I'm glad I could get to read those, they were great!

@Kawa: THIS. We need more of it.

[Graven_Image]

Human!Vriska is... Interesting.

Also: SO COOL.

[nightmarechild]

Oh god a new chapter of Flavors and a bunch of other stuff I like? This is the WORST time to post a fic! but whatever here is something my weird mind made the connection from ONE LETTER.

I have no explanation and no regrets for the greatest idea/crossover my mind ever came up with (That probably no one will get) I present unto you great forum I am not worthy of,

Vampire Hunter Dave:

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The wind blew restlessly through the air which when coupled with the rain did not do justice to the eyes. This young woman, however, didn’t mind. She just persisted through it shielding her eyes from the rain and covering herself with a shroud to keep dry though that was proving quite ineffective. She had the faintest of grins as she heard the metallic ‘clip clop’ of hooves on the dirt road approaching. Though it took a while for the slow horse to come into view through the rain she stayed where she was and didn’t move. The man on the cybernetic horse wasn’t changing his course either but after a full minute he stopped in front of her, his face blank but still sending the message for her to move.

She kept her mild grin but was a bit surprised when she saw him up close. He looked no older than nineteen but his face…it showed the experience of decades. She would have guessed his eyes would be more impressive but they were hidden from view by a pair of dark sunglasses which went well with his dark cape. Under his cape she could see a bright red suit with the corner of some symbol hidden from view. She was again drawn to his face because of what an anomaly it was. The rain was hitting it hard because of the lack of protection and the rain was pouring down on his cloths but he seemed completely dry even with water droplets sticking to his skin. It was as if the rain had no business with this figure. She was called back to reality when she heard the youth slowly exhale reminding her he still needed her to move.

She blushed ever so slightly and called out to him, “Judging by the look of you you’re a hunter, and I’m guessing a strong one at that.”

He said nothing.

“So what are you then, a great dragon hunter?” Still nothing. “A werewolf hunter? … So my guess was right, you’re a vampire hunter…”

In this era there were many dangerous creatures to be reckoned with and with that came people who specialized in killing them, hunters they called themselves. A hunter was classified by what creatures he specialized in killing with simple creatures like mist monsters being at the bottom and at the top…well…the nobility without a second thought.

His look didn’t change but she could tell that she was right, “Well I’m in the need of a hunter but I can’t hire just anyone, why shouldn’t I just beat you out of town?”

There was a long silence with the woman grinning. The only sounds were the occasional thunder and the horses breathing. The youthful man hadn’t moved since he had stopped but something about him said he was listening to every word. After his expected lack of answer the woman rolled her eyes and said something to the lines of suit yourself and pulled a gun from inside her protective cloak and with a flick of the wrist it shot a bullet at the figure on top of the horse.

Her eyes widened with shock as the bullet from her rifle seemingly disappeared. It shouldn’t have been possible with how much she had upgraded it. The bullet traveled faster than any other and it could go through two feet of solid steel.

She had to regain her bearings quickly as the figure looked as if he was about to start again, “Humph. Before you go I have something to show you.”

In one swift motion she threw off the cloak that was, ineffectively, shielding her from the rain showing her very complimenting green dress. While the late teen was a bit surprised he showed no sign of it. The woman was smirking again as she shook out her long black hair which was by now completely soaked. Without warning she lifted her rifle again and fired.

Right before the bullet reached the man’s head it shattered. The shards of the bullet, however, moved as if on their own accord each to a lethal point on his body. He seemed almost annoyed if she had to guess even though he had sharp metal shards at his throat, heart, jugular, and many other pressure points that could kill anyone if injured.

“Ha, that’s what you get for letting a pretty dress distract you! …Well? Any tricks up your sleeve?” After getting, surprise surprise, no answer she gave an annoyed ‘humph’ and snapped.

Her mouth actually hung open as the shards of the bullets seemed to pass through him as if he wasn’t there. He had evaded an attack that took all of her skill and, as if his patience was up, the horse started walking to the side and around her from a silent command of its master.

“Please! I just needed to test you; I need more than the average Vampire Hunter. The one I need killed is very powerful. My name is Jade Harley…please listen.”

For the first time in the exchange the youth spoke, a mature voice that in itself made Jade blush a little, “Payment?”

She knew what she was getting into as Vampire Hunters always demanded vast sums for payment in exchange for slaying the Vampire, most people paid in some way as they usually had no other choice.

Jade quickly gathered her thoughts and answered, “Access to all of my property and three square meals a day.” She knew what she was getting into but she’d rather lose everything she had than succumb to the whims of the nobility.

“One thing you should know, I’m a Damphire” Her smile was shattered and she was left with an utter look of surprise and almost horror, “Is that ok?”

She sighed and, knowing it was her only real option, answered the hunter, “Yes…do you have a name?”

He looked down at her for the first time through his dark glasses and unreadably said, “Dave, just Dave.”

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHNO REGRETS!!!! *absconds*

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That was exacly 1000 words! :O

[VagabondRaiser]

Oh god a new chapter of Flavors and a bunch of other stuff I like? This is the WORST time to post a fic! but whatever here is something my weird mind made the connection from ONE LETTER.

I have no explanation and no regrets for the greatest idea/crossover my mind ever came up with (That probably no one will get) I present unto you great forum I am not worthy of,

Vampire Hunter Dave:

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hide spoiler

The wind blew restlessly through the air which when coupled with the rain did not do justice to the eyes. This young woman, however, didn’t mind. She just persisted through it shielding her eyes from the rain and covering herself with a shroud to keep dry though that was proving quite ineffective. She had the faintest of grins as she heard the metallic ‘clip clop’ of hooves on the dirt road approaching. Though it took a while for the slow horse to come into view through the rain she stayed where she was and didn’t move. The man on the cybernetic horse wasn’t changing his course either but after a full minute he stopped in front of her, his face blank but still sending the message for her to move.

She kept her mild grin but was a bit surprised when she saw him up close. He looked no older than nineteen but his face…it showed the experience of decades. She would have guessed his eyes would be more impressive but they were hidden from view by a pair of dark sunglasses which went well with his dark cape. Under his cape she could see a bright red suit with the corner of some symbol hidden from view. She was again drawn to his face because of what an anomaly it was. The rain was hitting it hard because of the lack of protection and the rain was pouring down on his cloths but he seemed completely dry even with water droplets sticking to his skin. It was as if the rain had no business with this figure. She was called back to reality when she heard the youth slowly exhale reminding her he still needed her to move.

She blushed ever so slightly and called out to him, “Judging by the look of you you’re a hunter, and I’m guessing a strong one at that.”

He said nothing.

“So what are you then, a great dragon hunter?” Still nothing. “A werewolf hunter? … So my guess was right, you’re a vampire hunter…”

In this era there were many dangerous creatures to be reckoned with and with that came people who specialized in killing them, hunters they called themselves. A hunter was classified by what creatures he specialized in killing with simple creatures like mist monsters being at the bottom and at the top…well…the nobility without a second thought.

His look didn’t change but she could tell that she was right, “Well I’m in the need of a hunter but I can’t hire just anyone, why shouldn’t I just beat you out of town?”

There was a long silence with the woman grinning. The only sounds were the occasional thunder and the horses breathing. The youthful man hadn’t moved since he had stopped but something about him said he was listening to every word. After his expected lack of answer the woman rolled her eyes and said something to the lines of suit yourself and pulled a gun from inside her protective cloak and with a flick of the wrist it shot a bullet at the figure on top of the horse.

Her eyes widened with shock as the bullet from her rifle seemingly disappeared. It shouldn’t have been possible with how much she had upgraded it. The bullet traveled faster than any other and it could go through two feet of solid steel.

She had to regain her bearings quickly as the figure looked as if he was about to start again, “Humph. Before you go I have something to show you.”

In one swift motion she threw off the cloak that was, ineffectively, shielding her from the rain showing her very complimenting green dress. While the late teen was a bit surprised he showed no sign of it. The woman was smirking again as she shook out her long black hair which was by now completely soaked. Without warning she lifted her rifle again and fired.

Right before the bullet reached the man’s head it shattered. The shards of the bullet, however, moved as if on their own accord each to a lethal point on his body. He seemed almost annoyed if she had to guess even though he had sharp metal shards at his throat, heart, jugular, and many other pressure points that could kill anyone if injured.

“Ha, that’s what you get for letting a pretty dress distract you! …Well? Any tricks up your sleeve?” After getting, surprise surprise, no answer she gave an annoyed ‘humph’ and snapped.

Her mouth actually hung open as the shards of the bullets seemed to pass through him as if he wasn’t there. He had evaded an attack that took all of her skill and, as if his patience was up, the horse started walking to the side and around her from a silent command of its master.

“Please! I just needed to test you; I need more than the average Vampire Hunter. The one I need killed is very powerful. My name is Jade Harley…please listen.”

For the first time in the exchange the youth spoke, a mature voice that in itself made Jade blush a little, “Payment?”

She knew what she was getting into as Vampire Hunters always demanded vast sums for payment in exchange for slaying the Vampire, most people paid in some way as they usually had no other choice.

Jade quickly gathered her thoughts and answered, “Access to all of my property and three square meals a day.” She knew what she was getting into but she’d rather lose everything she had than succumb to the whims of the nobility.

“One thing you should know, I’m a Damphire” Her smile was shattered and she was left with an utter look of surprise and almost horror, “Is that ok?”

She sighed and, knowing it was her only real option, answered the hunter, “Yes…do you have a name?”

He looked down at her for the first time through his dark glasses and unreadably said, “Dave, just Dave.”

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHNO REGRETS!!!! *absconds*

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That was exacly 1000 words! :O

Oooh, crossover. It's been years since I saw Vampire Hunter D, but I'm liking the cut of your jib here. I'm just a tad behind on my knowledge of the subject matter.

Although I have on eeensy little concrit that's more personal choice than anything else... *offers a bag of spare commas* Your descriptor paragraphs could use a little slowing down. Your mileage may vary, but these commas have served me well, aye, and they'll serve you well too.

An elegant weapon, for a more civilized *shot* *thud* *pool*

[nightmarechild]

Woah someone got it! ...I will use these commas wisely, It has always been a problem I've had.

[KarneWarrior]

The power of a comma is not to be taken lightly, young grasshopper. See to it you do not becoma as Tavros while you fix your rapid speech impediment.

:P

[Wigmund]

Shit, Let's Be Human

Part 2

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"I think I like you better this way, Karkles", Terezi teased as she hung over Karkat's shoulders. "You're softer to the touch now."

"Well I don't -like- being 'softer' in any way, especially not this one so get your freak on against some other fucking guy, would ya?"

"Heheh. Well, Kar. I suppose I could go and find my favorite coolkid to hang out with."

It took Karkat less than three seconds to come to a horrible revelation. His rival in the flushed quadrant was no longer of a different species! Terrible visions clouded his mind just long enough to miss Terezi making a break for it.

"Nepeta", he called out.

"Yes, Karcat?"

"Stop looking at your gogdamn limbs, do me a favor and help me stop Terezi before she does something fucking disgusting, would ya?"

"Yessir", Nepeta bouncily affirmed as she put her coat back on.

Meanwhile, Terezi was already getting close to the kids' area of the lab. The trolls hadn't seen them at all that morning, so that was suspicious enough. In just another thirty seconds, she was there.

She paused and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Rose.

"It's Terezi, heheh. Can I come in?"

Rose knowingly winked at Dave. Now, Dave didn't know exactly what Rose had done, or even if she had done anything at all, but it seemed to him that she at least had done -something- that night. The only reply Rose'd get out of him was a single raised eyebrow.

"Okay, you may come in."

Still grinning like her usual self, Terezi hit the little "open" button next to the door and waited.

John and his pseudo-sister Jade, who hadn't been informed of any shenanigans at all, were rather perplexed by the figure standing in the doorway. The black clothes, zodiac symbol, cane and obnoxious glasses confirmed that this was indeed supposed to be Terezi Pyrope, but the hair and skin colors were all wrong. Terezi was -not- supposed to have auburn hair!

However Dave felt, he tried hard not to show it -- he had an image to maintain, but his sunglasses noticably slid down his nose at the sight. The next thing he knew, he had a rifle aimed at the side of his head as a so-called playful warning. Jade had taken aim at him once before, when the kids and trolls first met face-to-face and Terezi started licking Dave. Jade was an idiot, Dave considered, but she was remarkably quick to realize what a human Terezi could do to her guy. That explained why the rifle was even closer this time.

Since it was close enough this time, Dave just took a hold of the barrel between two fingers and pushed it to the side.

So cool.

Need more.

[nightmarechild]

The power of a comma is not to be taken lightly, young grasshopper. See to it you do not becoma as Tavros while you fix your rapid speech impediment.

:P

I said I'd use them WISELY, I'm not one of those comma flingers.

[Red Pen]

Remember the good old days when I wrote a chapter a week? Yeah, me neither.

Also I swear I had most of this written forever ago and then it pretty much happened in canon and now it just looks like I'm stealing Andrew Hussie's ideas. It's hard to write fanfiction for a constantly updating webcomic you guys!

Previously, on Unhinged...
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Unhinged - part 11

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Jade was typing frantically on Pesterchum, filling Davesprite's iShades with lines of green. With a short huff of agitation the sprite threw open his window, ignoring the wave of heat that poured in from outside, and leaned with his hands on the sill, gazing out at what could only be described as an army.

The black skies of Lohac seethed with the soft roar of beating wings as reptilian Basilisks swarmed locust-like around Dave's towering house, some clinging to the brickwork and scuttling along the walls, flitting away angrily as gargantuan Giclops climbed slowly and unstoppably past them. Far, far below, the twisted metal structures and gears rising from the lava were covered in imps and ogres: Dave's own familiar Amber and Sulfur enemies far outnumbered by legions of Marble and Shale; far more than should have been found on the clockwork planet.

He withdrew his head quickly and slammed the window shut as one of the Basilisks spotted him and spat out a few ripples of fire.

GG: dave?
GG: this isn't supposed to be happening right? I know your house is always covered in imps but there aren't supposed to be this many!
GG: all of johns and roses enemies are going after you now!!
TG: yeah no
TG: this is definitely not supposed to be happening
TG: but the important thing here is not to panic

He was interrupted as Jade's cursor swooped by and rather violently wrenched up the desk that housed Dave's mixing equipment, dumping several hundred dollars worth of electronics onto the floor as she flipped it upright and rammed it against his bedroom door.

TG: dammit jade what did i just say
GG: im not panicking!!!
TG: oh my mistake
TG: i thought you throwing my stuff around indicated panic
TG: but i guess youre just cool as can be over there
TG: and in your state of total calm
TG: you decided to wreck my room for the hell of it
GG: >:|
GG: i am establishing a perimeter!!!

There was a loud crash as elsewhere in the house, Jade toppled yet another piece of furniture.

TG: what
TG: is that even a thing you can say
TG: because outside of all those really cheesy movies that johns into
TG: i refuse to believe that that is a thing you can say
GG: i am going to block as many doors and windows as i can so they cant get in!

The cursor zipped by again and began methodically tearing up the cinderblocks in Dave's room and stacking them in front of his window.

TG: okay i guess thats actually a pretty good idea
TG: but
TG: can you do that without destroying my furniture?
GG: you can alchemize new furniture it is not a big deal!!
GG: but you cant alchemize a new dave!

"Oh," he said softly.

TG: jade
TG: this isnt something you need to worry about alright
TG: im a sprite
TG: i am so ridiculously overpowered
TG: that my eye lasers
TG: have their own eye lasers
GG: what about other other you??
GG: dave youre asleep in here and we cant wake you up right now!!
GG: and i know you have cool sprite powers but that is a lot of imps!!
GG: and maybe you can protect yourself but can you protect both of your selves?
TG: yes

Davesprite looked up, trying to imagine the angle from which Jade was viewing him so that he could make an attempt at meeting her eyes. Her cursor dropped the last of the cinderblocks in front of the window and went still, hovering motionlessly somewhere behind his shoulder.

TG: jade look at me
GG: im not panicking!!!
TG: i know
TG: just look at me for a second
TG: nothing bad is gonna happen
TG: not this time
TG: i wont let it

There was a long silence from Jade.

TG: did you just fall asleep
GG: no!!!! :P
GG: its just that maybe i was panicking a little bit...
GG: because i guess im not used to not knowing how things will end!
TG: hey its fine
TG: just think of it like
TG: an amazing stroke of luck
TG: we are going to be drowning in grist after this
TG: alchemize ourselves up a rowboat
TG: so we can paddle through this sea of impberry gushers
GG: we will be grist millionaires!
TG: billionaires
GG: kajillionaires!! :)
TG: thats not a word but you know what
TG: we will make it a word
TG: because well just be that rich
GG: the big man......
GG: HASS the grist!!!
TG: exactly
TG: feel better?
GG: a lot better!
GG: thanks dave. :)
TG: yeah no problem

He seated himself on the edge of the bed where his past-self still lay sleeping, and watched the door and window through his iShades while Jade busied herself elsewhere in the house, sealing up more exits. It didn't matter what they did; an army that size would eventually break through, and when it did, Davesprite would be ready for it. Even as he watched, something with claws scratched against the cinderblocks barricading the window.

TG: hey jade
GG: yes?

I missed you.

TG: nothing
TG: just
TG: uh
TG: jack hasnt asked about the bunny again
GG: oh yeah i guess he hasnt!
TG: think he forgot?
GG: i dont think he would forget about something like that...
GG: so maybe he just decided that if he had to choose between rose and the bunny.....
GG: hed rather have rose.

- - - - - - - - - -

Rose's cell was now two hundred paces across, lavish with decorative moulding along its vaulted ceiling and deep violet walls, and bright with the sourceless, ambient light that spilled in through a row of wide, vaulted windows along one wall, overlooking Derse. She had an office chair and a varnished desk of purpleheart wood, and a set of three sleek Fenestrated Walls, set in a semicircle around the control panel at her back, awaiting the slightest touch of her hands on the dials to sent their invisible eyes sailing across the skies of the dark planet.

The silver nameplate at her desk read "Archagent," but this was still a cell, and she was still a hostage, her door locked from the outside and her windows barred by intricate iron gratings. They needn't have bothered. Rose had no interest in escaping just yet.

It wasn't as if she'd expected to get out of this alive, she admitted to herself. She'd fully intended to tear through the Sovereign Slayer's psyche like rice paper; do as much damage as possible so that when someone caught on and took her dreamself out, she'd at least be taking Jack's sanity with her. And that was still the plan, of course. She just hadn't expected it to go so well.

The girl shuffled aimlessly through the various piles of paper that had been dragged up indiscriminately from Jack's old office - unpaid tickets and citations, half-filled forms, files on people she'd never heard of and places she'd never seen - oddly aware of how her new silky black uniform moved against her skin. Most of what she was expected to do was simple addition and subtraction; busywork, and although she'd never been particularly good at math she did her best to tally everything flawlessly.

She amused herself for a while by dredging up old budget reports, columns of numbers scrawled in Jack's wild handwriting, and changing all his threes to eights and his ones to fours. Spun in her office chair until she was too dizzy to see straight. Played with the controls to the Fenestrated Walls, knowing with some satisfaction that no matter what silly thing she did, no one would see. The surveillance equipment was hers and hers alone.

After a while, fiddling with the dials and making the screen swoop at random around the outside of the palace, she caught a glimpse of ginger-blonde hair and froze. Dave was crouched just outside the window of her old cell, his hands on the bars, his lips moving as if quietly calling her name. Rose's heart sank. I'm here, Dave, she wanted to call out, and knew he wouldn't hear her if she did. He would have to search for her all over again.

At last Dave seemed to give up and dart away, and Rose followed him with the screen, watching as he alighted silently in the shadows at the very base of the palace, where two dark figures awaited him...

- - - - - - - - - -

"They moved her," Dave stated shortly as his feet hit the ground. The hulking shape of Bishop looked up from where he'd been crouching, picking the lock of a small side-door with a piece of wire, tiny in his giant hands. There were other ways into the palace of Derse, doors that weren't locked, but none secluded enough that someone as conspicuous as the Traitorous Bishop could approach without being seen.

"She is not in the same cell? Are you sure she wasn't simply taken for questioning, and they'll return her later?"

Dave shook his head. "Nah, they moved her. They caught me talking to her earlier, that's why."

The Warpainted Pariah, sitting against the wall with a paper bag in her hands that clinked glassily when she moved, turned her head and spat disgustedly. "He'd just do that out of spite, wouldn't he?"

"Don't be vulgar in front of the prince," Bishop scolded her absentmindedly, and Pariah's eyes went wide.

"Oh! Oh, oh no, my apologies, Lord Vader, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine," said Dave, concentrating very hard on keeping a straight face. Have you decided what you want us to call you, your highness? Yeah, now that you mention it...

"Nothing to be done about the princess now," Bishop murmured, and with a small click the door swung inwards. "But keep searching, and hope you find her again. There we are, Pariah. Squawk."

Pariah tightened her grip on her paper bag and stood, peering inside the dark doorway. "Coast is clear. Let's move before the Walls find us." She darted inside, beckoning for Bishop to follow.

"What are you guys doing, anyway?" Dave asked while the massive chessman struggled to squeeze through the narrow doorway.

"Pariah has a delivery to make to the palace kitchens. Several of the chefs are sympathetic to our cause, and one has agreed to help us, as long as we provide the... materials. Squawk. Go on and search for the princess; this should only take us a few minutes, and we'll see if we can pick up any information about where they're keeping her."

Dave shrugged. "Okay, sure, be cryptic. Not like I'm your leader and should be kept in the loop or anything."

"I'm glad you understand," Bishop said, completely ignoring the Knight's sarcasm, while somewhere in the corridor beyond Pariah urged him to hurry up. "Good luck with your search, and hope they do not catch you with their Walls again."

"Yeah, you too." Dave leapt into the air and flew away, the windows of the palace darting past him in a purple blur.

She might leave another sign, if they hadn't picked up on it before. Or maybe she'd find some other way to contact him, retreating back to LoLaR to send him a message on his iShades. As long as he steered clear of the Walls, he would have plenty of time to-

Dave stopped dead in midair. They had her under surveillance, didn't they? Wherever she was, he'd be able to see her with the Walls. And while Rose might be gone, he knew exactly where to find those.

- - - - - - - - - -

He managed to locate the right window this time, instead of having to sneak in through the balcony like he had before, and as his luck would have it, the grating here was mostly ornamental, meant more to decorate than to keep people in or out. After a few minutes of struggling with it as quietly as he could, the entire violet metal grille worked its way free from the mortar and came away in his hands. He dropped it without a second thought and climbed inside.

Compared to the world outside, the room was dim, lit by the glow of the screens. Dave crept forward, letting his eyes adjust and trying to get a good look at the Fenestrated Walls without being seen.

The one directly in the center was focused on him.

Dave cursed under his breath as the chair in front of the control panel swiveled around and the dark silhouette in an Agent's uniform smirked at him over steepled fingers. "Well well, Strider. Fancy meeting you here."

"What the- Rose?!"

"That's Archagent Lalonde to you, Dave," she teased.

"That's Timelord Darth Vader to you, Rose," he answered.

Part 12.

[Metaflare]

...this must be a dream. Unhinged actually updated. *insert various internet phrases of excitement here*

[Red Pen]

Why yes, I do in fact take my irons out of the fire and temper them on occasion.
(No really though I hate this chapter so much it was so boring and it didn't help that the next couple chapters after this one would be really fun to write if I could only get through this one stupid chapter.)

[Beep]

...this must be a dream. Unhinged actually updated. *insert various internet phrases of excitement here*

IKR?

[Metaflare]

Either way, I'm glad it updated again. I knew you as a writer before an artist or music maker or whathaveyou

[chronicallyCrafty]

@Red Pen: AUGH YES! New part of Unhinged is the best thing to read before bed 8D This story is the whole reason I'm on this thread in the first place, and it continues to make me very very happy. Characterization is spot-on, plot is superb and imaginative, and...just...everything. I am loving it.

[conceptofzero]

Hello everyone, I'm doing my usual drop-by-with-fic thing. This one is called Figurehead and it's an AU inspired by the end of the Troll's session exploring what would happen to Prospit and Derse if the Black King died but the players were killed before they could proceed through the door (warning: it's an AU session and has zero trolls or humans). It's fairly long (24,000 words or so) and the primary pairings are Black Queen/Black King, Black Queen/Jack Noir and Black Noir/OMC (original male character), and the rating is PG-13 for some violence. As per usual, there's a sample under the cut and a link to the rest on AOOO.

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The Black Queen arrives in time to stop the players from progressing through the door, but not quick enough to save her husband. Even with the Baron of Time's stolen pocket watches, she is unable to intercept the killing blow. She picks off the survivors one by one, until the last blue-faced creature is begging for its pitiful life. The Black Queen breaks the thing's neck, which is about as merciful as she gets, and rushes to her husband's side.

He is dying. His sceptre lies in pieces nearby, and he is unprototyped, looking like he did the day she first saw him, except far more mangled. She presses her hands over the wound in his chest and presses down, trying to stem the flood. His heart keeps pumping, and the crimson mess just swells over her hands.

"No, no," She tells him, pressing down as hard as she can, "You can't. I won't let you die. I'll go back, I'll- I'll fix this."

"Your shoulder," His voice is deep as mines and just as rocky. He's dying, and yet he's more concerned about her, and the Baron's overlarge butterfly pin stuck through her left shoulder. It hurts everytime she touches it, so she's given up on trying to take it out, choosing instead to pretend it simply isn't there.

"Just hold on. I'll be right back." She almost takes her hands off of his wound, but there's the gentle tick of watches, and a version of her appears nearby, shaking her head. The Black Queen feels her throat swell, and she refuses to look her double in the eye, "Just hold on. I'll be here with you when you face them. We'll kill them all together."

The Black King just reaches out with his one remaining hand and cups her head with it. He tries to smile, but he can't quite do it in time, and as he dies, that hand falls away from her face, and the blood gushing out of him slows to a trickle. Her hands and uniform are coated with red, and her double is gone, lost in time, and all she can do is wail.

And then she presses her face against him and weeps helplessly.

--

They find her on the Battlefield, holding her husband's head in her lap. She doesn't look up when they approach, eyes intent on watching her husband's face. The dark luscious black has faded from his skin, leaving him a sort of grey. Her hands stroke his head and face, as if maybe doing so bring him back to life, but she knows better.

"Your Majesty." One of them says, and she finally turns her eyes upwards. She finds herself looking at a motley group of soldiers, medics, and what appears to be a farmer. It's the farmer who addresses her, purple hood covering his head, "I… we hate to interrupt. But there's a messenger from Prospit. They're trying to surrender and…" The farmer trails off. Prospit can only surrender to the ruler of Derse.

She looks down at the Black King. He should be accepting their surrender, not her. But he's dead, and she's the only royalty left.

The Queen sets her husband's head back on the battlefield and gets to her feet. She barely feels the pin through her shoulder, and ignores the soldiers when they attempt to ask her about it. Surrender is far more important than a slight pain, "Where's the delegation?"

The remains of Prospit's royal guards and bureaucracy are waiting near the shuttles. There is a tension in the air so thick that knives could cut it. It was only twenty-four hours ago that the Black Queen killed the White Queen, and three hours after that when the White King was beheaded and his sceptre used to begin the Reckoning. They've come to unconditionally surrender, not because they wish to, but because Derse will crush Propsit if they don't. This is the golden city's only chance of survival.

Their careful blank looks turn shaken when they see the Black Queen in her bloody gown and torn wings, and the deadly pin still impaling her left shoulder. She feels calm when she greets them, which is strange because she can still feel tears rolling down her face, "I am here. Speak your piece."

"We surrender to Derse." The Crestenvoy, Prospit's equivalent of Derse's Archagent, extends one of their golden flags. "Our lands are your lands. Our soldiers are your soldiers-"

"Your surrender is accepted." She interrupts and takes the flag. There isn't any time to waste on formalities. Despite the pain in her shoulder and the blood covering her hands, her voice remains steady and dispassionate, as if she all her emotions had been cried out over her husband's body. The Black Queen addresses both groups, "Set up base camp here. Search for survivors and spread the word that we are now at peace. Who has the authority to get supplies from Prospit?"

The delegation exchanges looks, and the Prospitarian Crestenvoy steps forward, "I do, Your Majesty."

"Find every medic you can and get them down here and working on people. Contact Archagent Jack Noir and coordinate with him. We'll need clean-up crews to bury the dead. Pick someone to delegate that to. I need an escort." She looks over the crowd, and points to one of the women standing in back, "Come with me. You too." She directs this last statement at the farmer.

They head for the shuttles, the Black Queen and her makeshift escort. Her shoulder hurts, but she pushes it aside, focusing instead on organizing her thoughts. She's not entirely sure what to do. Technically, they've lost the war. There's a doorway floating above the Battlefield, and the Battlefield isn't destroyed. But the players never proceeded through the door, so in a way, they haven't won either. And this is where the extent of her knowledge on what to do has run out.

She stops and turns to look at the two following her. They quickly stand at attention, as though they're afraid of her, "What are your ranks?"

"Parcel Mistress." The tall white woman says.

"Warweary Villein." The short black man responds.

A farmer and a postal worker. These are not the advisors she needs, but they are what she has, "What else needs to be done? We have a base camp, and medics on their way, and crews to clean up the dead."

The Mistress and Villein exchange looks. It's the Mistress that speaks first, "There isn't anything to eat or drink down here. At least nothing clean."

She nods. That's good. They'll need food. The Villein, heartened by the Mistress' suggestions, makes a few of his own. "And other supplies too. Blankets. Clothing. But… Your Majesty, your shoulder-"

"It looks worse than it is." She brushes off his concern and begins walking again. It is a lie. She can feel the throb in her arm growing slowly worse and worse. But despite the pain, she sees no point in wasting time to have someone look at it. There are more important things at stake besides an arm, "We will need to go to Derse immediately and make arrangements. Can either of you pilot?"

They both shake their heads no. That's fine. If they can't find a pilot, she'll have to remember how to do it. She knows that at least. Everything else is strange and unfamiliar, but this is something she can grasp and hold onto. Knowledge is easy and she has so much of it, so much that it fills her and shuts out any emotions that could interfere.

The Queen leads and they follow.

Read the rest of Figurehead on Archive Of Our Own

[Graven_Image]

Timelord Darth Vader

NOOOOO

Yeah, this is awesome. More archagent Rose, plz.

[Kawa]

Now, I would really like to deliver more of "Shit, Let's Be Human" but I'm not sure where to go from here. On one hand, there's the option of a violent retribution. On the other hand there's hot sloppy shenanigans. On the gripping hand there's... something. I wouldn't know. Perhaps you guys and girls would know something for that - I just like to have a third option but could only think of two. Whatever.

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Personally, I'm leaning towards the second option

incidentally, you guys rock and i couldnt hope to be that good. especially graven_image and skaianredeemer

[Graven_Image]

Shenanigans. DO IT.

[Kawa]

But Graven, there are rifles pointed at people's heads

[KarneWarrior]

I dunno.

Also random thought: Does Kanaya not strike you as the type of person who would be really into Lady Gaga? All I know is that I don't know enough about Lady Gaga to let this plot bunny loose and I really don't care to find out.

[Graven_Image]

But Graven, there are rifles pointed at people's heads

No, there was a phenominally cool coolkidtech pulled off in the last chapter. You didn't see it?

COOLKIDTECH LV. 43: IRONIC NONCHALANCE

[Kawa]

I HADN'T EVEN NOTICED THAT.

Okay then

[Graven_Image]

HaRlEyQuIn

Chapter 2

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OPEN PESTERLOG

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terminallyCapricious began trolling carcinoGeneticist

TC: UmM, kArKaT, hEy.
CG: WHAT IS IT NOW?
TC: YeAh, WeLl, ThE JaDe hUmAn gIrL Is lAyInG HeRe
TC: AlL CoMaToSe aNd sTuFf
CG: OH LORD.
CG: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?
TC: I DuNnO, i mEaN I OnLy gAvE HeR A SlIcE Of pIe
TC: WhAt, Do yOu fIgUrE A QuArTeR'S ToO MuCh fOr a fIrSt-tImEr?
CG: UGH.
CG: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU.
CG: HUMANS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO EAT SOPOR SLIME
CG: HECK, TROLLS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO EAT SOPOR SLIME.
CG: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT, ANYWAY?
TC: YeAh sHe fOuNd iT iN mY SyLlAdEx
TC: It's a mIrAcLe, MaN, i'm tElLiNg yOu.
CG: OH, ENOUGH WITH YOUR MIRACLES BULLCRAP.
CG: JUST
CG: WHERE ARE YOU?
TC: I ThInK I'M On aBoUt tHe tHiRtIeTh fLoOr oR So
TC: YoU BeTtEr nOt mOvE HeR ThOuGh, sHe sEeMs tO Be hAvInG OnE HeCk oF A TrIp.
CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I PUT UP WITH YOU SOMETIMES.
CG: JUST STAY RIGHT THERE.

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling terminallyCapricious

It was a beautiful hill, really.

She spun, letting her silvery dress billow around her as she tasted the sweet Prospitian air. Dave was somewhere nearby, napping in the shade beneath an old tree. And there was Gamzee, being about as chill as Gamzee had a right to be.

“Heeey there, dream girl. What’re you doing here?”
“I don’t know. I just fell over, and now I’m here!”
“Yeeeaah... I’ve been here a while.”
“Look! You can see pictures in the clouds!”
“Nah, they never mean anything. It’s pretty miraculous, though, don’t you think? Getting cloud visions at all after dying on Prospit...”

Jade didn’t hear him. She was too busy looking into the clouds, lost again in visions of, if not futures, then different presents.

A lone figure, straddling a clockwork lattice, looking out over a field of underlings.

A young troll, clutching her arm as it seeped bright green. A human, clothed in brown, posturing menacingly at her with a lance.

A sort of halfway-human, with slightly nubby horns on his head, typing furiously into a PDA.

And all sorts of different races, each going through trials and tribulations at the hands of SBurb. Bugs. Turtles. Elves. Dwarves. Humans. Trolls.

But none of her friends.

She stood up. She was going to find the answers in the clouds, just like she had before. But she needed more time.

“Gamzee?”
“Yeah, girl?”
“I want to stay here with you.”
“Shoot, girl, you’re telling the wrong Gamzee.”

She was going to ask him what he meant, but then the world winked out. The colors coalesced in front of her, and all was silent again.

OPEN PESTERLOG

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carcinoGeneticist began trolling ectoBiologist

CG: OK LISTEN.
CG: YOUR SISTER’S UNCONSCIOUS ON THE THIRTY-FIRST FLOOR WITH GAMZEE.
EB: who?
CG: THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING.
CG: THIS IS A VERY BAD THING.
CG: YOU NEED TO GO UP THERE BECAUSE GAMZEE TOLD ME AND I CAN’T BE ASKED.
CG: BYE.
EB: hang on!

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling ectoBiologist

EB: ugh.

OPEN PESTERLOG

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ectoBiologist began pestering arachnidsGrip

EB: sorry, vriska, change of plans.
AG: What?
EB: gamzee and jade are up to something, and karkat’s too ornery to tell me what.
EB: so, the date’s off for now.
AG: Awwwwwwww!
AG: 8ut we were going to have a night on the town!
AG: It was going to romantic and everything!
AG: I was even going to wear the dress!
EB: you what.
AG: The white dress, remem8er.
AG: You looooooooved that dress.
EB: this is not up for debate.
EB: I’m sorry, but right now my sister is in some vague form of trouble.
EB: we can go out some other time.
AG: ::::(

ectoBiologist ceased pestering arachnidsGrip

PCHOOOOO

...went the jetpack.

John was the rocketman. It was him. Then he saw Jade unconscious on the balcony, and he ceased being the rocketman and started being the concerned brother.

“Dude, I don’t think she shoulda eaten so much...”
“Ok, just... hang on. What happened?”
“Oh, dude, I just shared some pie with her, s’all.”
“What... kind...”
“Slime pie.”

John sighed and rubbed the spot his glasses had chafed on his nose.

“Ok, help me out here. We need to get her to a bed.”
“S’alright, my man. I got it.”

With nary a backward glance, Gamzee swept Jade’s somnambulant form into his arms.

“Where do you want her?”
“Uhh, the first floor’s... fine.”

[JudgeDeadd]

Now, I would really like to deliver more of "Shit, Let's Be Human" but I'm not sure where to go from here. On one hand, there's the option of a violent retribution. On the other hand there's hot sloppy shenanigans. On the gripping hand there's... something. I wouldn't know. Perhaps you guys and girls would know something for that - I just like to have a third option but could only think of two. Whatever.

You could make use of Chandler's Law and have a ninja bust in with a gun or something.



sorry, my mood's too silly for serious advice today.

[Beep]

The JohnxVriska part was awesome.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!