MSPA fan fiction 2

[Solaris]

Just check her Phototbucket.

[mutecebu]

@conceptofzero
That was AMAZING. I really liked the queen, she was amazing.

Also, I just now realized that you managed to write the whole thing without any name but "The Queen". I never noticed it until now, so good job with that too.

[Author]

Well me and Domoz have been talking a bit.

A lot.

On Pesterchum.

So now I have fictional ideas of a fictional variety. I took a leaf out of Skaian's style and used eventlogs and carp.

Dave's (Alternate) Scribblings

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Event Log

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You look around Dave's room, completely perplexed. You're unsure of what to think about the walls around his bed. You decide to message him about it.

Pesterlog

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-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 3:34 --
GG: hey dave?
TG: what is it jade.
TG: i'm still trying to figure out
TG: why the fuck you moved my toilet.
GG: weeeeell...
GG: i didn't mention this before
GG: (thought it would freak you out and all)
GG: but i'm wondering about what you did to your wall.
TG: what you mean jeff?
TG: hes just fucking awesome.
GG: no not jeff.
GG: (although he is really cool : DD)
GG: i mean the words above your bed.
TG: what words?
GG: dave, im just going to ask you straight out.
GG: why'd you write "not so cool" above your bed?
TG: ...
GG: dave?
TG: THAT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT JADE.
TG: VERY FUCKING FUNNY.
TG: IM GONNA GO TRY AND YOU KNOW
TG: GET INTO THE FUCKING MEDIUM
TG: SEE YOU LATER.
--turntechGodhead has blocked gardenGnostic for the next five minutes.--
GG: ...
GG: well, shit.

[Domoz]

Oh man. I remember this, I was there.
Good times.
Good times

[Graven_Image]

I lol`d heartily. Good show.

[Kawa]

Shit, Let's Be Human

Part 3

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"Jade, put that thing away", Dave said in a calm, collected tone. "We both know you're not going to shoot me, because you know I wouldn't start anything with the crazy blind chick."

"Dave, that hurts", Terezi taunted as she slowly made her way towards the boy. "Didn't I tell you not to play with a woman's feelings like that, Dave? Heheh..."

Jade slowly lowered her rifle. Terezi may be a disturbingly flirty nut, but she knew Dave was basically serious. There was no telling how the situation might change now that Terezi was human, though. On the opposite side of the room, Rose suppressed a weak smile -- this was a potential side effect she hadn't planned for. Intriguing. Perhaps it would be wise to inform Jade of the reasons behind miss Pyrope's new appearance, she thought to herself as she beckoned the girl over.

"Jade, do you want to know why Terezi looks human?" Rose whispered. Terezi's ears twitched. They were sharp as ever, even if not in an asthetical sense. She could clearly smell the two girls absconding... leaving her with her target -- Dave Strider.

"Heheheheheh..."

"Why'd they have to leave?" Dave asked noone in particular. Terezi was advancing at an unsettling pace. The girls had locked the door behind them and Terezi was in the way of the other door. He could speed his way past if he tried, but found himself bound to the chair in a strange mix of fear of excitement. Compared to his Karkat-appointed matesprit, Terezi radiated romantic intent, and despite her newfound humanity, her grin was as frightening as always. Images of criminals on trial entered his mind, locked in their place not because they were just plush toys but because of that unspoken message -- try to leave and I'll break your kneecaps.

"Dammit, Lalonde."

Terezi just giggled some more.

~

"So you had the Gods of the Furthest Ring turn the trolls into humans?"

"Hmmhmm."

"Woah. I didn't know they could do that."

"Jade, they don't have that title for nothing. They could do worse if they were any less friendly."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that... but is it permanent?"

"Ofcourse not. That'd be inhumane!"

"Wait, who's screaming?"

~

When Karkat and Nepeta finally got to the kids' area, Terezi had already climbed onto Dave's lap. She had taken off her shirt, which caused Dave considerable trouble in maintaining his cool -- every time Terezi moved, he shuddered a bit. This, ofcourse, entertained the deranged lawyer in training to no end.

"And fuck you if we're too late just because you had to run off the other way, Nepeta", Karkat could be heard shouting from the corridors.

"Blaaah!"

"Whatever, let's see what we got."

Karkat mashed his fist into the "open" button. The subsequent scream could be heard all over the lab. Not so much because he broke the button's glass covering with a hand that was easier to damage than usual, but because his more-or-less matesprit was rubbing her disgusting Earth human upper body into Dave's disgusting near-to-cracking face. How she still had a tongue like Gene Simmons, noone would know.

"AND WHY IN THE NAME OF THE FURTHEST FUCKING RING ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE, DAVE!??"

Can't talk, jackass. Trying to preserve my honor. In a little jar on a shelf. I'm... just cool... like that...

"Ooh! Can I play?" Nepeta obliviously asked, tugging at Karkat's sleeve.

Rose ran back into the main room in response to Karkat's inhuman wail, the Thorns in hand. It took her all of two seconds to determine that Terezi was going too far and -- perhaps more importantly -- Dave was trying hard to remain relatively innocent. It took her another two to transportalize Terezi straight back to the terminal chamber.

~

"Uhhh wait - is it Sunday already?"

"Noooooooo, you useless sack of shit! Put your shirt back on!"

[Author]

Well.

That was sufficiently AWESOME.

SO AWESOME.

And now I have to find part one and two.

Pose As A Team

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Jade looked at her friends, finally meeting them all face to face. Unfortunately, this might be the last time they would get to meet, speak to each other.
She looked at Rose, John, and Dave, and smiled, happy. She loved all her friends more then she ever could have known.

"I... I don't know what to say... Getting to meet you all... It's like a dream come true."

Dave just nodded, keeping with his chill persona. Rose looked into the distance, worried by the shadows quickly approaching, but John?
John grinned confidently.

"But Jade, it's not a dream. It's a reality. And now that we've all met, we can get rid of the one thing that stands between us and our homes."

He looked at the shadow, taking out his hammer, as Dave readied his sword, as Rose's needles crackled with energy.

Jade pulled out her old, old rifle, and sighted the enemy.

But a voice went through all their heads at once...

Pose as a team!

'Cause shit just got real.

[aerialArtisan]

And then they did.
And it was awesome

also oh man I needa find part one and two of that, Kawa
such an awesome concept xD

[Author]

Found part 1 and part 2.

[Domoz]

Author
Author this is all your fault


???

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carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: ARIGHT LISTEN YOU HUMAN SCUMBAG
CG: OBVIOUSLY YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW TO GO ABOUT CONDUCTING THIS ORCHESTRA
CG: SO HERE'S THE DEAL
TG: whoa hold up
TG: i dont need any trolls help
TG: ive got this shit tighter than a thong on a smuppet
TG: i am the master of sick beats
CG: FUCK YOU STRIDER
CG: I'M TALKING ABOUT A LITERAL FUCKING ORCHERSTRA HERE
CG: WITH A GOGDAMN VIOLIN AND A HAUNTING TUBA REFRAIN
TG: okay ill admit ive got no idea what the fuck youre talking about
TG: theres definitely no orchestra here
CG: NO BUT THERE COULD BE
CG: CONSORTS ARE EASY ENOUGH TO MANIPULATE
TG: okay then
TG: so why the hell would i ever need an orchestra
TG: wait let me guess
TG: one of those shitty romcoms or something right
CG: MY ROMCOMS ARE NOT SHITTY OKAY
CG: And ORCHESTRAS ARE PRETTY FUCKING ROMANTIC
TG: okay so i was right about the romcom thing
TG: but you are way to bad a troll to be acting like youre interested in me
TG: and be completely ironic about it
TG: this isn't that kimesi whatever the fuck thing is it
CG: WHAT THE FUCK
CG: THATS NOT HOW KIMESITUDE WORKS AT ALL
TG: so then you're in love with me
TG: or matespritship whavever
CG:WHAT
CG: FUCK
CG: FUCK

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has blocked turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: oh wow
TG: called it

[SkaianRedeemer]

Am I weird that after reading all these fics I'm actually excited to go to sleep? Because if I am, That's another 5 bucks I owe myself (which i can't pay, by the way - stupid self-debt).

Also, I'm thinking of trying my hand at fanfiction for the first time. A kind of And Then There Were None kind of story, but with pranks, irony and trolling instead of murder. I'm planning on rereading the book before I start, but does anyone have any ideas/advice/"THIS MUST HAPPEN OR YOU DIE!!!!!!!!" things to say? As I said, it's kinda gonna be my first actual piece of writing I cared to put work into, so any hints/help/advice/warnings/etc. would be helpful.

Douhneill, I think this is a great idea! I'm not sure what kind of advice to give you, though. Just go for it and put it up!

[Author]

Check fucking mate Doz.

"Hey Nepeta? Have you ever heard of Spin the Bottle?"

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Pester Log: Jade & Nepeta

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-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] at 2:26. --

GG: hey cat?
AC: :33< *looks at GG and tilts her head*
GG: *pokes AC and asks*
GG: do you want to play a game?
AC: :33< *nods happily*
GG: have you ever heard of
GG: spin the bottle?
AC: :33< *twitches her nose* no, whats that?
GG: well it's a game
GG: where you get aaaall your friends together!!
GG: in a circle!
AC: :33< *Jumps up and down happily*
GG: and then you put a bottle in the middle of the circle
GG: and spin it
GG: and whoever it points to...
AC: :33< *quivers with excitement!!!*
GG: spins it!!! : DD
GG: and then the next person it points to has to kiss the first one!!! : DDDD
AC: :33< *screams with joy* that sounds puurrrfect!
AC: :33< *hugs GG happily* thanks!!!! im gonna go play it now!!!
-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 2:39. --

Event Log: Karkat, Non-Omniscient.

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Nepeta hopped over to Equius, and whispered something to him.

Karkat glanced suspiciously at them, then back at his computer screen. He overheard a few words...

"Whhhhhy!"
"Oh come on!"
"We're going to play this game, right now!"

All of those came from Nepeta.
Karkat was suddenly very interested in his computer.

Event Log 2: MINUTES IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY...)

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Terezi wondered about how the hell Nepeta had managed this. She had gotten them all in a circle, and had a bottle.

Terezi had no idea where Nepeta had found a bottle, because she swore to Gog that all the bottles were gone.
"All of them," she muttered to herself, giggling slightly. This of course attracted a glance from Karkat, due to Terezi not giggling without something suspicious going on. He pretended not to notice, preferring to ask Nepeta a question,
"Nepeta. Where the fuck is Equius?"
Nepeta looked incredibly shifty.
"Oh... nowhere." She glanced surreptitiously at the closet.
"Nowhere at all."
Karkat sighed, rolling his eyes. "Fine. What are we doing?"
Nepeta grinned, and quickly explained the game, causing Karkat's eye to twitch.
"No. Fuck no. I'm not playing a game where I might have to kiss that fucking clown lover." Sollux called out, grinning,
"It'th worth for uth Karkat. We might have to kith you!"
Everybody except Karkat laughed at that. Nepeta grinned childishly.
"Alright, Karkat, you get to go first..."

Pesterlog 2a: Karkat & Jade, Two Hours Later.

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-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] 4 hours and 13 minutes from now. --
CG: THANKS TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING IDEA.
CG: I'M NOT SURE WHO I HATE MORE.
GG: what are you talking about??? how could you hate me?? ;((
CG: BECAUSE THANKS TO YOU
CG: I HAD TO KISS
CG: FUCK I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY IT
CG: LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS HORRIBLE.
CG: AND I WILL NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.
GG: oooh, so you mean cat played spin the bottle with you? : DD
CG: WHAT.
CG: IS THAT WHAT THAT GAME IS CALLED?
CG: BECAUSE I PLAN TO FIND WHOEVER INVENTED THAT GAME
CG: AND BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM.
GG: did... it not go well??
CG: AHAHAHAHA
CG: DID IT NOT GO WELL?
CG: WE'RE FUCKING TROLLS ENTOILED WITH SOME STUPID PAILHEADS WHO DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE IN FUCKING REDROM OR BLACKROM WITH THE OTHER PAILSTAINS.
CG: IT WENT ABOUT AS WELL AS EXPECTED.
GG: oh.
GG: well...
GG: what happened??
CG: FINE, LET ME TELL YOU...

Event Log 3: Back to the Past!

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Karkat instantly began gagging after he kissed that which will not be named. The unnamed one also gagged.
Nepeta giggled happily. "That was a great twenty-second round! Whose up for twenty three?" Vriska glared at the ground. "This is stupid Nepeta. Can't we just stop? It's ridiculous." Tavros nodded. "Yeah, and I want to try stairs again!"
Suddenly, the closet exploded, the door flying straight through the air.

A shadow loomed forward, and screamed angrily,
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT FUCKING STAIRS?!?!?!"

Pesterlog 2b

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CG: AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT HAPPENED.
GG: oh...
GG: well, im really sorry karkat! DD;
GG: what can i do to make it up to you??
CG: WELL YOU COULD ALWAYS...
CG: WAIT.
CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?
GG: erm...
GG: gotta go bye!
-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] 6 hours and 12 minutes from now. --
CG: GOG DAMMIT!

[Katrika]

Um, well, this is the first fic I've posted! It was inspired by the OOC discussion on the Homestuck RPs on the TV Tropes Forum. I hope you enjoy it!

Let the Squiddles Sleep

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Eridan’s heart quickened. He had given up on her, he really had, and here she was. Her soft lips kissed his neck and her earfins fluttered happily. ‘F-Fef…’, he started, but before he could finish, she bit down. Hard. He gargled and fell to the ground, writhing in agony. The last thing he saw was her purple-stained grin coming close to his face for one last kiss.
----------
Sollux looked back at his computer screen, then walked to the hallway. Feferi wanted to meet him for something. He knocked on her door, but there was no reply. Shrugging, he opened her door and stepped in, only to slip on a wet, sticky puddle. Purple? He knew that shade of purple, that was…what was going on here? Soft, gentle hands hugged him from behind. ‘Shhhh, Sol, it’ll all be over soon,’ Feferi sang. ‘My lusus is hungry…’

There was a snap and he fell motionless to the floor.
----------
Terezi stopped and thought suddenly that it was awfully quiet. She’d gotten used to the constant sound of Eridan’s whiny drone and Feferi’s fluting laugh. And now that he thought about it, where was the clicking of Sollux’s keyboard? She took a deep sniff, but she couldn’t smell them. It was a little worrying, but nothing mu-…wait. There. She heard Feferi laughing softly in the hallway. Making her way toward the sound intently, she never even noticed the barbed wire strung across the floor until it was too late. As she fell to the ground, she felt a quick sharp pain as Feferi clubbed her in the head with her own cane.
----------
Gamzee drifted down the hallway, high as a kite and twice as happy. Rainbows glimmered and shifted on the edge of his vision. Something dripped on his nose and he looked up. ‘Aw man!’, he crowed delightedly, ‘A painting!’ It wasn’t quite a rainbow, he noted, it only had three colors. Teal, purple, and yellow. As he stared at it with a huge smile, he didn’t even notice the sound of footsteps behind him.
----------
A lone ‘HoNk’ rang throughout the asteroid.
----------
Nepeta and Equius ran through the halls, argueing. ‘I’m just saying you should play purrtend sometimes!’, she wailed, plaintive. Before Equius could reply that yes, he did play pretend, like how he pretended that he had to follow Karkat’s orders, and by the way had she seen a dry towel, Feferi made her move. Her thin, bloody arm shot out from a recess in the wall, grabbing Nepeta around the waist and putting a glinting knife to her neck. Equius lunged at Feferi with a growl, but she ducked, revealing the sharp spike in the wall behind her. He hit it with a wet thump and went limp. Nepeta screeched for a moment before Feferi pressed on the knife, ending her.
----------
Tavros stopped suddenly mid-stride, aghast. Did something freeze up in his legs again? He was about to cry out for Equius when a shadow fell across his line of sight. He looked up to see a rainbow-spangled Feferi, grinning manically and holding the remote control for his legs. ‘Uh, Feferi, I thought Equius had, uh, gotten ridden of that.’ He smiled at her nervously. She grinned back. They stared at each other for a few minutes before she pressed the self destruct button on the remote control.
----------
Kanaya and Karkat ran toward the sound of the explosion. Something had felt off all day, and now they had something to prove it. They braced themselves for the worst, but nothing could prepare them for what they found. As Tavros’ lance pierced through Kanaya’s torso, Feferi turned her trident on Karkat. He managed to block it with his sickles, stopping it a scant inch from his throat. He stepped back, his foot sliding over a mangled toy horn. As he struggled to regain his balance, the prongs of the trident slid past his sickles and into his neck.
----------
Aradia knew what was coming. Rather then try to fight it, she activated the self destruct on herself. ‘Oh well,’ she muttered as the numbers ticked down, ‘living again was fun while it lasted.’
----------
Vriska huddled in the corner, sobbing. This couldn’t be happening. This was just a bad dream. She was going to wake up wake up wake up wake up-

Feferi grinned at her and picked up Tavros’ badly burned head, opening and shutting his protein chute like an obscene puppet. ‘It’s okay, Vriska!’, she trilled in a warped parody of Tavros’ inflection, ‘It’s time to let the squiddles sleep!’

[Beep]

So much left unanswered.


DAMN YOU AUTHORRRRRRR!! *shakesfist*

[Author]

So much left unanswered.


DAMN YOU AUTHORRRRRRR!! *shakesfist*

You laugh maniacally at Beep's foolishness.

Your friends stare at you, shaking their heads as you cackle over your laptop.

[c_rowles]

@conceptofzero

finally got around to reading Figurehead, and I really liked it; you write very well, and it was neat as heck to see Jack in a world where he didn't take a turn for the murderous. Something that kind of struck me a little dissonant, though, was PM's pregnancy at the end... these dudes have hard shells and are grown in vats; can they even get pregnant like people can, if they can reproduce naturally at all? Hmmmm.

[Unlicensed Busdriver]

Um, well, this is the first fic I've posted! It was inspired by the OOC discussion on the Homestuck RPs on the TV Tropes Forum. I don't know how to do spoilers, so if a mod could help, that would be great.

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Let the Squiddles Sleep

Eridan’s heart quickened. He had given up on her, he really had, and here she was. Her soft lips kissed his neck and her earfins fluttered happily. ‘F-Fef…’, he started, but before he could finish, she bit down. Hard. He gargled and fell to the ground, writhing in agony. The last thing he saw was her purple-stained grin coming close to his face for one last kiss.
----------
Sollux looked back at his computer screen, then walked to the hallway. Feferi wanted to meet him for something. He knocked on her door, but there was no reply. Shrugging, he opened her door and stepped in, only to slip on a wet, sticky puddle. Purple? He knew that shade of purple, that was…what was going on here? Soft, gentle hands hugged him from behind. ‘Shhhh, Sol, it’ll all be over soon,’ Feferi sang. ‘My lusus is hungry…’

There was a snap and he fell motionless to the floor.
----------
Terezi stopped and thought suddenly that it was awfully quiet. She’d gotten used to the constant sound of Eridan’s whiny drone and Feferi’s fluting laugh. And now that he thought about it, where was the clicking of Sollux’s keyboard? She took a deep sniff, but she couldn’t smell them. It was a little worrying, but nothing mu-…wait. There. She heard Feferi laughing softly in the hallway. Making her way toward the sound intently, she never even noticed the barbed wire strung across the floor until it was too late. As she fell to the ground, she felt a quick sharp pain as Feferi clubbed her in the head with her own cane.
----------
Gamzee drifted down the hallway, high as a kite and twice as happy. Rainbows glimmered and shifted on the edge of his vision. Something dripped on his nose and he looked up. ‘Aw man!’, he crowed delightedly, ‘A painting!’ It wasn’t quite a rainbow, he noted, it only had three colors. Teal, purple, and yellow. As he stared at it with a huge smile, he didn’t even notice the sound of footsteps behind him.
----------
A lone ‘HoNk’ rang throughout the asteroid.
----------
Nepeta and Equius ran through the halls, argueing. ‘I’m just saying you should play purrtend sometimes!’, she wailed, plaintive. Before Equius could reply that yes, he did play pretend, like how he pretended that he had to follow Karkat’s orders, and by the way had she seen a dry towel, Feferi made her move. Her thin, bloody arm shot out from a recess in the wall, grabbing Nepeta around the waist and putting a glinting knife to her neck. Equius lunged at Feferi with a growl, but she ducked, revealing the sharp spike in the wall behind her. He hit it with a wet thump and went limp. Nepeta screeched for a moment before Feferi pressed on the knife, ending her.
----------
Tavros stopped suddenly mid-stride, aghast. Did something freeze up in his legs again? He was about to cry out for Equius when a shadow fell across his line of sight. He looked up to see a rainbow-spangled Feferi, grinning manically and holding the remote control for his legs. ‘Uh, Feferi, I thought Equius had, uh, gotten ridden of that.’ He smiled at her nervously. She grinned back. They stared at each other for a few minutes before she pressed the self destruct button on the remote control.
----------
Kanaya and Karkat ran toward the sound of the explosion. Something had felt off all day, and now they had something to prove it. They braced themselves for the worst, but nothing could prepare them for what they found. As Tavros’ lance pierced through Kanaya’s torso, Feferi turned her trident on Karkat. He managed to block it with his sickles, stopping it a scant inch from his throat. He stepped back, his foot sliding over a mangled toy horn. As he struggled to regain his balance, the prongs of the trident slid past his sickles and into his neck.
----------
Aradia knew what was coming. Rather then try to fight it, she activated the self destruct on herself. ‘Oh well,’ she muttered as the numbers ticked down, ‘living again was fun while it lasted.’
----------
Vriska huddled in the corner, sobbing. This couldn’t be happening. This was just a bad dream. She was going to wake up wake up wake up wake up-

Feferi grinned at her and picked up Tavros’ badly burned head, opening and shutting his protein chute like an obscene puppet. ‘It’s okay, Vriska!’, she trilled in a warped parody of Tavros’ inflection, ‘It’s time to let the squiddles sleep!’

I'm alright with graphic descriptions of violence being part of a fic and all, but does it have to be the whole thing?

Also Re: Spoiler tags:
Click the 'go advanced' button on the reply box and then they are the button with 'SHH' in a black box.

[Katrika]

Oh, I'm not normally that violent, but another person in my RP group said that if you really thought about it, every time Feferi glubbed at someone she was trying to kill them due to her lusus, and that they'd like to see a fic where she snapped, so...

[Ezekiel]

Oh, I'm not normally that violent, but another person in my RP group said that if you really thought about it, every time Feferi glubbed at someone she was trying to kill them due to her lusus, and that they'd like to see a fic where she snapped, so...

Um, I think, or rather, I know for a fact that it was two different people, one pointed that out and the other made the request...

[Katrika]

Eh, really? ...oh snap! My mind kinda wandered. Sorry!

Yeah, it was two different people, but that was how the ideas flowed...

[c_rowles]

Let the Squiddles Sleep

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Eridan’s heart quickened. He had given up on her, he really had, and here she was. Her soft lips kissed his neck and her earfins fluttered happily. ‘F-Fef…’, he started, but before he could finish, she bit down. Hard. He gargled and fell to the ground, writhing in agony. The last thing he saw was her purple-stained grin coming close to his face for one last kiss.
----------
Sollux looked back at his computer screen, then walked to the hallway. Feferi wanted to meet him for something. He knocked on her door, but there was no reply. Shrugging, he opened her door and stepped in, only to slip on a wet, sticky puddle. Purple? He knew that shade of purple, that was…what was going on here? Soft, gentle hands hugged him from behind. ‘Shhhh, Sol, it’ll all be over soon,’ Feferi sang. ‘My lusus is hungry…’

There was a snap and he fell motionless to the floor.
----------
Terezi stopped and thought suddenly that it was awfully quiet. She’d gotten used to the constant sound of Eridan’s whiny drone and Feferi’s fluting laugh. And now that he thought about it, where was the clicking of Sollux’s keyboard? She took a deep sniff, but she couldn’t smell them. It was a little worrying, but nothing mu-…wait. There. She heard Feferi laughing softly in the hallway. Making her way toward the sound intently, she never even noticed the barbed wire strung across the floor until it was too late. As she fell to the ground, she felt a quick sharp pain as Feferi clubbed her in the head with her own cane.
----------
Gamzee drifted down the hallway, high as a kite and twice as happy. Rainbows glimmered and shifted on the edge of his vision. Something dripped on his nose and he looked up. ‘Aw man!’, he crowed delightedly, ‘A painting!’ It wasn’t quite a rainbow, he noted, it only had three colors. Teal, purple, and yellow. As he stared at it with a huge smile, he didn’t even notice the sound of footsteps behind him.
----------
A lone ‘HoNk’ rang throughout the asteroid.
----------
Nepeta and Equius ran through the halls, argueing. ‘I’m just saying you should play purrtend sometimes!’, she wailed, plaintive. Before Equius could reply that yes, he did play pretend, like how he pretended that he had to follow Karkat’s orders, and by the way had she seen a dry towel, Feferi made her move. Her thin, bloody arm shot out from a recess in the wall, grabbing Nepeta around the waist and putting a glinting knife to her neck. Equius lunged at Feferi with a growl, but she ducked, revealing the sharp spike in the wall behind her. He hit it with a wet thump and went limp. Nepeta screeched for a moment before Feferi pressed on the knife, ending her.
----------
Tavros stopped suddenly mid-stride, aghast. Did something freeze up in his legs again? He was about to cry out for Equius when a shadow fell across his line of sight. He looked up to see a rainbow-spangled Feferi, grinning manically and holding the remote control for his legs. ‘Uh, Feferi, I thought Equius had, uh, gotten ridden of that.’ He smiled at her nervously. She grinned back. They stared at each other for a few minutes before she pressed the self destruct button on the remote control.
----------
Kanaya and Karkat ran toward the sound of the explosion. Something had felt off all day, and now they had something to prove it. They braced themselves for the worst, but nothing could prepare them for what they found. As Tavros’ lance pierced through Kanaya’s torso, Feferi turned her trident on Karkat. He managed to block it with his sickles, stopping it a scant inch from his throat. He stepped back, his foot sliding over a mangled toy horn. As he struggled to regain his balance, the prongs of the trident slid past his sickles and into his neck.
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Aradia knew what was coming. Rather then try to fight it, she activated the self destruct on herself. ‘Oh well,’ she muttered as the numbers ticked down, ‘living again was fun while it lasted.’
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Vriska huddled in the corner, sobbing. This couldn’t be happening. This was just a bad dream. She was going to wake up wake up wake up wake up-

Feferi grinned at her and picked up Tavros’ badly burned head, opening and shutting his protein chute like an obscene puppet. ‘It’s okay, Vriska!’, she trilled in a warped parody of Tavros’ inflection, ‘It’s time to let the squiddles sleep!’

ooooooooh. I like the last lines; they've got a darkly comedic quality that I get from other places in the fic, but which I think it might be better for the writing to be just saturated with since this is wildly OOC and fantastically violent.

[Unlicensed Busdriver]

I'm not seeing the appeal.

Oh well.

[nightmarechild]

I wouldn't be to sure about that checkmate Author because a new challenger approaches...and appears with the worst possible weaponNEVER MIND.

Lessons from a cool kid:

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"This is pointless I'm going back to my terminal." Aradia said with her constant monotone and started to withdraw her hands from the human records.

Dave caught her hand before it moved an inch, "No your not." He said, not even leaving room for discussion. "Besides your actually doing, ok, for a beginner."

She didn't even bother wasting the effort scolding him about his joke at her expense, wouldn't have done any good anyways. He let go of her hand and moved his fingers in the air casually while he walked back to his seat, "You gotta make circles not ovals."

She moved her hands back over records and traced circles in the air directly above for a minute or so. It was surprising actually, despite every impression she had of him the knight of time, her partner in crime, was surprisingly patient when it came to teaching. She finally became confident enough and touched her fingertips down on to Dave's records and started repeating the same circles. It wasn't two seconds before she messed up and her desire to return to her work welled up again.

She actually felt a pang of anger when she heard Dave sigh at her messing up but before she could comment she felt warm human hands lightly touch the tops of hers. "Here, I'll help." He said before gently clasping his hands over her cold metal ones and lightly guided her fingers along the record.

For the first time in her existence she was glad she was a dead half frog spirit in a robot because if she was still alive and her emotions in full strength she wouldn't be able to remain standing with the cool kid so close to her. His hands were on her hands, his arms reaching around hers, his body almost rubbing against hers, his head looking down over her shoulder, his lips inches away from hers. She prayed to whatever force there was that it would give her at least this and make Dave not notice her nervousness.

She focused enough to note the look in his eyes through the reflection on the inside of his glasses. He had no doubt either noticed but kept it to himself for later use, or was really focused on teaching her. OR he is thinking the same thing you are! She mentally shuddered at the thought that seemed suspiciously like something Nepeta would say.

Turned out the shudder wasn't completely in her mind as she saw Dave turn his head to look at her but otherwise not moving, "Ha, that's pretty good miss Medigo."

She mentally noted to thank Equius for not having her bots voice be able to change otherwise she surely would have sounded pathetic, "C-Call me Aradia."

She was so thankful he didn't mention the stutter, "When?"

He would never cease to confuse her, "When? When what?"

"When I call you?" If it was possible for a robot to blush she was sure she was now.

The words seemingly came out on their own accord, "Whenever you want." Her hands jerked up trying to cover her mouth so she wouldn't say anything else but she wasn't that lucky and Dave held on.

She was about to say something but was, yet again, interrupted before she could begin by this incredibly cool kid moving his head an inch and kissing her cheek. She was utterly dumbstruck and her mind just shut down. When she felt his hands finally let go of hers she actually felt a bit saddened.

"I'll make sure to." He said before casually walking out as if this was normal for him.

She knew that when this was discovered (and it WOULD be discovered either by Equius creepily watching her soulbot video logs or a slip of the tongue) she would never live it down. Yet after catching a glance of an almost undetectable smirk from Dave (almost), she wasn't sure she wanted to.

I'm on a role with fic's about Dave!

[Katrika]

Oooooh, I liked that, Nightmare! Seeing Aradia go all awkward is endearing.

[Douhneill]

I have an idea.

Douhneill, I think this is a great idea! I'm not sure what kind of advice to give you, though. Just go for it and put it up!

Thanks! Here's what I've got so far.

Twelve little Trolls - Prologue

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[B]-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

EB: hey, rose.
TT: What is it, John?
EB: i've been reading that book you sent me.
TT: The mystery novel?
EB: yeah, that's the one.
EB: anyway, i've been thinking.
EB: we haven't really been able to get back at the trolls for all the nonsense they've put us through, right?
TT: And you are suggesting we recreate the setting from within the book?
EB: yeah, exactly!
EB: well, with more pranks, at least.
TT: I see.
TT: And how exactly do you expect to accomplish this?
EB: rose, have you forgotten already?
EB: this is the pranking MASTER you are speaking to.
EB: i have a plan.
TT: Would you care to elaborate on this plan?
EB: i will, i will.
EB: but first, i have to know if you're in.
EB: are you in, rose?
TT: ...
TT: I'm in.
EB: perfect. now we have everyone.
TT: What's the plan?
EB: it starts with building the right 'base of operations'.
EB: i have a location, and dave is there already to set the traps, but i need you to design a nice place for us to trap them in.
EB: the rest of the plan is in here.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] sent tentacleTherapist [TT] the file "theplan.txt" --

TT: hmm...
EB: rose?
TT: Very clever, John. Very clever indeed.
EB: thanks.
TT: Although you've underestimated everyone's abilities.
TT: Yours included.
EB: i know that, rose.
EB: i also know you haven't read the whole text.
TT: How could you possibly know that?
EB: read until the end, rose.
TT: Very well...
TT: ...
TT: Wow.
EB: do you understand now?
TT: I have to give you credit, John.
TT: I didn't believe you could be so frighteningly accurate.
EB: hehehehehehehehee.
EB: i told you before, rose.
EB: i am the MASTER of pranking.
TT: Indeed you are, John.
TT: Indeed you are.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

I figured I'd start with just a pesterlog so that I can have more time to think of the rhyme, the crime, and the reactions. I mean, I still have no clue as to what the hell is actually going to happen in the story, so any ideas are welcome, even if I can't use them. C&C would be nice too, if you don't particularly mind.