Oh cod, why are I still writing these hybrid troll-human baby shenanigans? Is it to provide a balance with the horrorCal fic I wrote earlier?
hey there 8a8y
Vriska frowned at the hybrid of her and the human John Egbert. What the hell was she supposed to do with this thing? It obviously couldn't take care of itself. How did it expect to survive? Maybe what she needed to do was encourage it to toughen up.
Joooooooohn! Wh8t is wrong with little Poe!!!!!!!!
He doesn't do anything!
Hey! Stop shaking our kid vriska, that'll mess him up!
You gotta be gentle with babies.
Whaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!! How useless is th8t! How do you humans survive?!
uMM, what is in a name
Tavros watched John snatch away little Poe away from Vriska and bat her away to keep her from showing the little boy how to use the stairs.
Tavros was sitting on the other side of the lab holding the little girl created from the mixing of Jade and himself. It felt weird holding her, but she didn't like being left alone and Jade was huddled up with Karkat and Kade. Tavros felt an odd pang while he watched them. He wondered when Jade would come over and talk to them. He kinda wanted her to.
umm, I guess I should try to figure out a name for you.
Rufio is a guy's name and Jade probably wouldn't like Rufina...
err raa?
hey, how about I name you Wendy after the girl from that human Pupa Pan story.
umm, would you be fine with that?
ehh raa
hmm, I don't know what you're trying to say.
But I'll take that as a yes.
I wish Tinkerbull was here...he'd know what to do...
W-E )(AVE T)(UC)( CUT-E BABII-ET)(!!!
Feferi was just so terribly excited. She couldn't help glubbing everytime the baby created from combining her and Jade smiled. It was just so CUT-----E! She picked up the little girl and thrust her at Sollux who was cradling the hybrid John made from him and Dave.
O)( COD! I just can't glubbing believe w)(at )(as )(appened! It's just so T-ERRIFIC!
LOOK AT THIS CUTI-E SOLLUX! S)(E'S SO --EXCIT--ED TOO!
----E----E----E!!!
Sollux and the baby boy both glared at the girls.
That'th lovely FF, but could you tuna iit down a bit.
You're friightening thiith kid. He doethn't theem two enjoy thtartliing thiingth.
Oh boy, that was mistake Sollux thought as Feferi and the girl both started squealing in joy at his fish pun.
giirlth
gaath
If you didn't know, these blurbs are continuing from the previous stories here.
The word you want for the horrorCal fic is "penance", Wigmund. Penance. Your sad Tavros and adorable Feferi has put you well back on the path to redemption, my child.
(Shoot, I was hoping to find one of those images I saw in the image manip thread with hidden Cals in them, but no luck).
I'm back!!!! And with the sequel to Wazzup, because I was bored, and as such, you must all read this piece of garbage!!!! :P
But seriously, I love the idea of having everyone together in the same memo. I'm gonna make a good one later. This is just an attempt at what I was trying to achieve with the first fic.
It's obviously not as high quality with the concept of the conversation, but w/e. Here you go.
WaZzUp? - A "continuation"
CEB at ?:?? opened memo on board CRAZY CON AIR MOVIE.
CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG: wazzuuup
CEB: wazzup!?
CTG: wazzuuup
CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTT: Hello everyone.
CEB: wazzup!
CTG: wazzuuup
CTT: Wazzup?
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CEB: wazzup!
CTT: Wazzup?
CTG: wazzuuup
CURRENT carcinoGenesist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCG: DAMMIT EGBERT I TOLD YOU TO STOP POSTING MEMOS!!!
CTG: wazzuuup
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CEB: wazzup!
CTT: Wazzup?
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CEB: wazzup!
CTG: wazzuuup
CTT: Wazzup?
CCG: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS NONESENSE?
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGC: WUZZ4P?
CEB: wazzup!
CTT: Wazzup?
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CTG: wazzuuup
CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTG: wazzuuup
CEB: wazzup!
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CTT: Wazzup?
CCG: I OUGHT TO STRANGLE YOU ALL THROUGH THE CHAT RIGHT NOW.
CGC: WUZZ4P?
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTT: Wazzup?
CTG: wazzuuup
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CEB: wazzup!
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGA: Watzup?
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTG: wazzuuup
CTT: Wazzup?
CCG: DAMNIT AS YOUR LEADER I COMMAND YOU ALL TO STOP THIS FUCKING SHIT WASTE DUMP ASS
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CEB: wazzup!
CURRENT cuttlefishCuller [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCC: Wazzup? 38)
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CGA: Watzup?
CTT: Wazzup?
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CTC: WaZzUp?
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CEB: wazzup!
CTG: wazzuuup
CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: wAZZAP!!
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTG: wazzuuup
CCG: YOU KNOW WHAT? I GIVE UP. GO AND SAY YOUR STUPID GREETING ALL YOU WANT.
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CCC: Wazzup? 38)
CTT: Wazzup?
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CGA: Watzup?
CEB: wazzup!
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CURRENT apcalypseArisen [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: wazzup.
CTT: Wazzup?
CEB: wazzup!
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CGA: Watzup?
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTG: wazzuuup
CAT: wAZZAP!!
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CCC: Wazzup? 38)
CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCA: wwazzup?
CTC: WaZzUp?
CCG: NO SERIOUSLY. I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE.
CTT: Wazzup?
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CAT: wAZZAP!!
CEB: wazzup!
CAA: wazzup.
CCC: Wazzup? 38)
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CGA: Watzup?
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CTG: wazzuuup
CURRENT centaursTesticle [CCT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTT: D --> Waazzup!!
CAA: wazzup.
CCC: Wazzup? 38)
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CTG: wazzuuup
CCG: OH, HERE COMES SOLLUX. BE SURE TO GREET HIM IN AN APPROPRIATE FASHION, BOYS AND GIRLS!
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CCA: wwazzup?
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTT: Wazzup?
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CGA: Watzup?
CEB: wazzup!
CAT: wAZZAP!!
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTA: wa22up?
CAA: wazzup.
CCC: Wazzup? 38)
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzuuuup? :33
CTT: D --> Waazzup!!
CAT: wAZZAP!!
CCA: wwazzup?
CTG: wazzuuup
CGA: Watzup?
CAG: Wazzuuuuuuuup.
CGG: wazzup!!! :)
CGC: W4ZZUP?
CEB: wazzup!
CTC: WaZzUp?
CTT: Wazzup?
CTG: waazzzzuuuuuup
CTA: waa2222uup?
CCC: Waazzzzuup? 38)
CAC: :33 < waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzuuuuuuuup ? :33
CEB: waazzzzuup!
CGA: Waatzzuup?
CGG: waazzzzuup!!! :)
CGC: W44ZZZZUUP?
CTC: WaAzZzZuUp?
CTT: Waazzzzuup?
CAG: Waazzzzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
CAA: waazzzzuup.
CTT: D --> Waaaazzzzuup!!
CAT: wAAZZZZAAP!!
CCA: wwaazzzzuup?
CCG: WAZZUP?
CAA: 0_0
CCG: ...
CCG: WHAT?
CTC: WaY tO rUiN a MeMo, MaN.
CTA: 2eriou2ly.
CCA: wwhy would you ruin our conversation wwith this wwazzup garbage?
CTT: A beautiful memo, destroyed by a single post. Incredible.
CCG: WAIT, WHAT?
CTG: dammit guys i told you we should have banned him
CGA: I Suppose This Conversation Has Reached Its End.
CCC: Way to go, Karkat! 38(
CAC: :33 < lamer
CEB: i'm just gonna close this now. it's been tainted.
CTT: D --> This f001ishness is beneath even you, sir.
CAT: iT WAS GOING SO WELL...
CGG: boo!!! >:(
CGC: W3 4R3 N3V3R L3TT1NG K4RK4T 1NTO 4NOTH3R M3MO OF OURS 4G41N.
CAG: I am so scorching you with all the irons in the fire. All of them. It will 8e excruti8ing.
[CEB] ceased responding to memo.
[CTA] ceased responding to memo.
[CGA] ceased responding to memo.
[CTT] ceased responding to memo.
[CCA] ceased responding to memo.
[CTT] ceased responding to memo.
[CCC] ceased responding to memo.
[CAC] ceased responding to memo.
[CTG] ceased responding to memo.
[CTC] ceased responding to memo.
[CAG] ceased responding to memo.
[CGG] ceased responding to memo.
[CGC] ceased responding to memo.
[CAT] ceased responding to memo.
CCG: ...
CCG: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
CCG: I'M SO CONFUSED...
CCG: ...
CCG: UM...
CCG: I'M SORRY?
CCG: ...
CCG: ...
[CCG] ceased responding to memo.
*edit* Shit waste dump ass? What the factor was I thinking?
Last edited by Douhneill; 11-21-2010 at 04:44 PM.
If you feel that there's no way things could get any worse, that means things will only get better!
...That, or you're possibly being fed on by a dementor. Eat some chocolate, stat.
@Thread: I have some irons in the fire. Not all of the irons, just some. Some that might involve shipping a certain long-haired human girl with a certain bipolar troll hacker. Is this relevant to anyone's interests, or should I keep my crack to myself?
Last edited by raequiem; 11-17-2010 at 11:42 PM.
Reason: Spelling fail
I'm the same person here as I am on AO3 and Deviantart, and pretty much everywhere else. Check out my fics and arts and stuff!
@Thread: I have some irons in the fire. Not all of the irons, just some. Some that might involve shipping a certain long-haired human girl with a certain bipolar troll hacker. Is this relevant to anyone's interests, or should I keep my crack to myself?
I don't know why, but people keep thinking my name has a G in it. I mean, it's easier to understand that's the way it's pronounced ("[Do or Dough]-kneel") but still. It's particularly infuriating when people call me doug. [/rant] Thanks for the compliments!
*edit* holy crap the quirks are taking over. I'm slowly becoming Vriska. 0_0
...
And Aradia, apparently.
Last edited by Douhneill; 11-21-2010 at 04:44 PM.
If you feel that there's no way things could get any worse, that means things will only get better!
...That, or you're possibly being fed on by a dementor. Eat some chocolate, stat.
I don't know why, but people keep thinking my name has a G in it. I mean, it's easier to understand that's the way it's pronounced ("[Do or Dough]-kneel") but still. It's particularly infuriating when people call me doug. [/rant]
Do you have any idea how many misspellings of "raequiem" there are? Do you have any idea how many people don't realize it's "requiem" with an "a" in it?
This is why I answer to Rae.
I'm the same person here as I am on AO3 and Deviantart, and pretty much everywhere else. Check out my fics and arts and stuff!
Moar Vriska/John. Because it's deliciously adorable.
What She Wants
It's strange, you think, bemused. Before, it was your job to carry out her ridiculous notions, and you did it with pleasure, with pride. But strangely it seemed like when he did it, it had more. He did it reluctantly, almost half-jokingly, but she seemed to enjoy that more then how you would fulfill her requests. And even now, you're involved but not in the way you originally thought you'd be. You're still wondering how she managed to convince him into flarping. Sure, since she'd met him she'd mellowed out an awful lot, but she was competitive.
And you worried for him because of that. You don't know how, but you think in someway, you've connected with her new lover. In a way you couldn't before. It's strange really, but it's almost like you have a newfound connection with her human. When you asked Feferi about it, she said it was like a reverse auspitice. An auspitice for the human version of love, which required some hate as well.
She loves it, because Karkat hates it. He thinks it's great, because he made a new friend. And you? You love how she acts now, you love how she acts with him, but you sigh.
How did he get into this? They'd all warned him about what a bad idea it was to play with her. Karkat had told him it was a stupid idea, in fairly explicit terms. Sollux agreed with Karkat for once. Eridan just glared at him. "Glaaaaaaaared" as he would have put it now, thanks to her influence. Tavros had screamed in fear and dived under a table. Equius was searching for Aradia. Aradia was searching for Sollux. Terezi had grinned quite a bit, and told him to go for it. Dave was just sputtering with laughter, and could only say the phrases "Try... Again... Later!" Rose gave some Rose-esque mutters, involving his cranial capacity and insinuating he was insane. Jade was playing with Nepeta, and a ball of yarn. You thought it was adorable, he was impatient to get going.
You sigh as you watch her tackle him, dragging him to the ground. They know you're there, but... You're as much a part of them, as they are a part of you now. She grins as she straddles across his chest, clamping him to the ground as he squirms, laughing helplessly. She grins, showing off her sharp teeth, and points at him and says in a ridiculously dramatic voice,
"Don't you remember? I'm Marquisse Spinnaret Mindfang..."
Then she leans her head forward, and says something you can barely hear in that sultry, seductive voice you used to ache to hear.
"And I always get what I want."
Mostly Vriska/John, with a dash of Kanaya/John that slipped in there.
Moar Vriska/John. Because it's deliciously adorable.
What She Wants
It's strange, you think, bemused. Before, it was your job to carry out her ridiculous notions, and you did it with pleasure, with pride. But strangely it seemed like when he did it, it had more. He did it reluctantly, almost half-jokingly, but she seemed to enjoy that more then how you would fulfill her requests. And even now, you're involved but not in the way you originally thought you'd be. You're still wondering how she managed to convince him into flarping. Sure, since she'd met him she'd mellowed out an awful lot, but she was competitive.
And you worried for him because of that. You don't know how, but you think in someway, you've connected with her new lover. In a way you couldn't before. It's strange really, but it's almost like you have a newfound connection with her human. When you asked Feferi about it, she said it was like a reverse auspitice. An auspitice for the human version of love, which required some hate as well.
She loves it, because Karkat hates it. He thinks it's great, because he made a new friend. And you? You love how she acts now, you love how she acts with him, but you sigh.
How did he get into this? They'd all warned him about what a bad idea it was to play with her. Karkat had told him it was a stupid idea, in fairly explicit terms. Sollux agreed with Karkat for once. Eridan just glared at him. "Glaaaaaaaared" as he would have put it now, thanks to her influence. Tavros had screamed in fear and dived under a table. Equius was searching for Aradia. Aradia was searching for Sollux. Terezi had grinned quite a bit, and told him to go for it. Dave was just sputtering with laughter, and could only say the phrases "Try... Again... Later!" Rose gave some Rose-esque mutters, involving his cranial capacity and insinuating he was insane. Jade was playing with Nepeta, and a ball of yarn. You thought it was adorable, he was impatient to get going.
You sigh as you watch her tackle him, dragging him to the ground. They know you're there, but... You're as much a part of them, as they are a part of you now. She grins as she straddles across his chest, clamping him to the ground as he squirms, laughing helplessly. She grins, showing off her sharp teeth, and points at him and says in a ridiculously dramatic voice,
"Don't you remember? I'm Marquisse Spinnaret Mindfang..."
Then she leans her head forward, and says something you can barely hear in that sultry, seductive voice you used to ache to hear.
"And I always get what I want."
Mostly Vriska/John, with a dash of Kanaya/John that slipped in there.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT HAPPENED.
SHRUG.
Couldn't figure out who was who?
You: Kanaya
Her: Vriska
Him: John
...
Am I weird if I want to be tackled by Vriska now? Because I totally do.
If you feel that there's no way things could get any worse, that means things will only get better!
...That, or you're possibly being fed on by a dementor. Eat some chocolate, stat.
Moar Vriska/John. Because it's deliciously adorable.
What She Wants
It's strange, you think, bemused. Before, it was your job to carry out her ridiculous notions, and you did it with pleasure, with pride. But strangely it seemed like when he did it, it had more. He did it reluctantly, almost half-jokingly, but she seemed to enjoy that more then how you would fulfill her requests. And even now, you're involved but not in the way you originally thought you'd be. You're still wondering how she managed to convince him into flarping. Sure, since she'd met him she'd mellowed out an awful lot, but she was competitive.
And you worried for him because of that. You don't know how, but you think in someway, you've connected with her new lover. In a way you couldn't before. It's strange really, but it's almost like you have a newfound connection with her human. When you asked Feferi about it, she said it was like a reverse auspitice. An auspitice for the human version of love, which required some hate as well.
She loves it, because Karkat hates it. He thinks it's great, because he made a new friend. And you? You love how she acts now, you love how she acts with him, but you sigh.
How did he get into this? They'd all warned him about what a bad idea it was to play with her. Karkat had told him it was a stupid idea, in fairly explicit terms. Sollux agreed with Karkat for once. Eridan just glared at him. "Glaaaaaaaared" as he would have put it now, thanks to her influence. Tavros had screamed in fear and dived under a table. Equius was searching for Aradia. Aradia was searching for Sollux. Terezi had grinned quite a bit, and told him to go for it. Dave was just sputtering with laughter, and could only say the phrases "Try... Again... Later!" Rose gave some Rose-esque mutters, involving his cranial capacity and insinuating he was insane. Jade was playing with Nepeta, and a ball of yarn. You thought it was adorable, he was impatient to get going.
You sigh as you watch her tackle him, dragging him to the ground. They know you're there, but... You're as much a part of them, as they are a part of you now. She grins as she straddles across his chest, clamping him to the ground as he squirms, laughing helplessly. She grins, showing off her sharp teeth, and points at him and says in a ridiculously dramatic voice,
"Don't you remember? I'm Marquisse Spinnaret Mindfang..."
Then she leans her head forward, and says something you can barely hear in that sultry, seductive voice you used to ache to hear.
"And I always get what I want."
Mostly Vriska/John, with a dash of Kanaya/John that slipped in there.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT HAPPENED.
SHRUG.
Couldn't figure out who was who?
You: Kanaya
Her: Vriska
Him: John
Delicious fic is delicious. And no, it's not weird to want to be tackled by Vriska.
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: hey
TG: you and me, r|ght now \et's go
EB: The fuck are you babbling about.
TG: |'m bab/bling about you
EB: Wow. Thanks for narrowing it down.
TG: \o/ok me you and so\oman ne/ed to ta\k
TG: r|ght now
EB: Because pesterchum can do that.
TG: tro\/\|an can
TG: yet another reason why my species |s bet/ter
TG: just c\|ck the \|nk
TG:
EB: Oh wow that is the shittiest thing I've ever seen.
TG: c\|ck |t you wus/s
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]
TG: hey
TG: you and me r|ght now \et's go
TA: what.
TG: me you and kayden ne/ed to ta\k
TG: r|ght now
TA: and why should i give a shit what you tell me
TG: because the a\/\ure of my sentences is just to/o much for you
TG: \o/ok at how fuck|ng sexy my words are
TA: and straight to the gayness, of course
TG: just c\|ck the \|nk
TG:
TA: what program did you use to make this
TA: who are the developers
TA: and how can i burn them
TG: hahahahahaha
TG: shut up and c\|ck |t already
COMING SOON TO A FANFIC THREAD NEAR YOU
whenever I can be bothered to write that entire damn log with so many color codes nnnnnn
Also Troll!Dave's quirk is supposed to be clock hands / battle scars, and he types in black because red blood oh noes
[01:44:15] Chase: I can sum up why the open roleplays I've been into worked in one single sentence
[01:44:40] Chase: people cared more about WHO their characters were instead of WHAT they were
Originally Posted by Captain Whosit
Originally Posted by scintillatingMoniker
why am I suddenly terrified now
Because you have common sense.
Originally Posted by Captain Whosit
Originally Posted by scintillatingMoniker
whosit the rest of the forum
With a freakin' shotgun.
Originally Posted by inexplicableSigns
"asdf." coherent like a boss
Verty: I was following my signature
Verty: which is supposed to be the order that I made them in but for some reason Joreak is up at the top now
Verty: I don't remember moving him there but okay
[S]: Ocfos: lol
[S]: Ocfos: He likes to be on top. B)
Verty: ...
@Wigmind: ... how? How can a mind twisted enough for that Cal fic just... just turn around and give us something this adorable?!
It's precisely because I'm mentally twisted I can shift gears from HorrorCal to Hybrid Cuteness with little delay. It's a kind of magic.
Thanks for the compliments, now I'm trying to figure out how to continue the Hybrid Tales with Aradia and Nepeta.
And maybe some Karkat/Jade, as well as fanart of the little tykes :3.
TT: H{Ey, F{EliCEity.
TT: CEoul3D w{E p{Erhaps b{E tangl{E bu3D3Di{Es?
TT: It would b{E {Ev{Er so CEu3D3Dly.
They're squiddles you see.
GG: hello kaidan!! C3-
GG: how are you today? C3-
CG: Okay, I have to know.
CG: What is the deal with that weird typing quirk you have, like what is it even supposed to be.
GG: what typing quirk? i am quite sure there is no typing quirk here, nor has there ever been one
GG: you sure are weird kaidan. C3-
Last edited by RedKingCrab; 11-18-2010 at 07:28 AM.
[01:44:15] Chase: I can sum up why the open roleplays I've been into worked in one single sentence
[01:44:40] Chase: people cared more about WHO their characters were instead of WHAT they were
Originally Posted by Captain Whosit
Originally Posted by scintillatingMoniker
why am I suddenly terrified now
Because you have common sense.
Originally Posted by Captain Whosit
Originally Posted by scintillatingMoniker
whosit the rest of the forum
With a freakin' shotgun.
Originally Posted by inexplicableSigns
"asdf." coherent like a boss
Verty: I was following my signature
Verty: which is supposed to be the order that I made them in but for some reason Joreak is up at the top now
Verty: I don't remember moving him there but okay
[S]: Ocfos: lol
[S]: Ocfos: He likes to be on top. B)
Verty: ...
I thought my next fic was gonna finish off the Hybrid Cuties series.
I was wrong. This fic isn't cute at all
Heir's Lament
John stood in the center of the battlefield in front of Lord English. It was down to this. John had been battered, bruised, humiliated, disarmed. He had lost the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, Fear No Anvil, the Sassacrusher, the Wrinklefucker, the Pogohammer, even the Sledgehammer. It was all down to his claw hammer, his first one, now his only weapon. Your hands upon a dead man's gun
Lord English and John were the last ones left. And you're looking down the sights
Everyone else was gone.All of the minions, all of the consorts, all of the denizens, all the cohorts... Your heart is worn,
All of his friends. And the seams are torn
He glared at Lord English. The being who had killed his friends, destroyed his weaponry one by one and then took the time to humiliate him. And they've given you reason to fight
The session had started with John and his humiliation of Jack Noir, and now Jack - no, the agent had been taken over by English, he was the Demon now - had taken special pleasure in inflicting all he could upon the boy who had done the same to him.
And you're not gonna take what they've got to give
John knew he couldn't give in. English had taken everything away from him. He couldn't let them down. And you not gonna let them take your will to live
He had to fight for them. He had to fight for his dad, for Mrs. Lalonde, for Bro, for Grandpa Harley... Because they've taken enough and you've given them all you can give
For Equius, for Nepeta, for Aradia, for Eridan, for Sollux, for Feferi, for Terezi, for Gamzee, for Tavros, for Kanaya... And luck won't save them tonight
For Karkat, for Dave, for Jade, for Vriska... They've given you reason to fight
For Rose.
And all the storms you've been chasing
John knew it was a hopeless fight, but he wasn't gonna give Lord English the pleasure of watching him break. He was gonna try his hardest. He charged forward to meet his fate. About to rain down tonight
In the end, he crushed Jack's skull with the sledgehammer's handle. A pitiful end for the Demon who had threatened even the Horrorterrors themselves. The fight had been a ballet of destruction, John's heavy and powerful swings contrasting with English's graceful and deadly pirouette. Now, it was over. Now he was truly alone...
Or maybe not. And all the pain you've been facin'
He was the heir of breath. It would be the greatest sacrifice, but the reward would be worth it. Not that it would be a great change from his current situation. He was slashed badly during the fight and John had no way to prevent himself from joining the pool of blood with Lord English. This would be it. John concentrated and breathed deeply. John fell to his knees.
He could hear the others beginning to stir, groan...
Pity he wouldn't be there with them...
Pity he couldn't tell them how he had saved all the universes...
All of them... About to comin' to the light
John laid down on the cold blood-soaked battlefield...
He watched the sky darken...
And then there was nothing...
Okay, so this chapter went about a k and a half over my self-imposed limit in an effort to confine everything directly related to the associated pesterlog into the same chapter. I'm curious as to everyone's opinion of the increased size along with the usual request for feedback, because splitting the chapter up along the scene break would be easy. So it's really up to all of you. Thanks for reading as always!
A Hand in Holding Hands
Part 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5a, 5b, recap1, 7)
GA: For My Next Question I Would Like To Ask You For A Summary Of Human Courtship
GA: As Practiced In Your Region And Demographic As You Have Specified In The Past
TT: That seems fair. I was considering asking you the same but figured covering all four quadrants would just eat up our time.
TT: I figured the information might help stave off certain disasters I’m getting the impression are occurring down my social pipeline.
GA: Is This About Karkat
TT: Why, what do you know?
GA: …
GA: Things
TT: Kanaya.
GA: Perhaps It Would Be Better For You To Speak To Your Friends Directly
TT: Fine. John’s online, I’ll bother him.
TT: Did you ask because of whatever it is you’re hiding from me?
GA: No
GA: It Was One Of The Original Questions I Hoped To Ask You When I First Contacted You
TT: Mm-hm.
TT: Who’s Vriska?
GA: Are You Talking To Your John Friend
TT: Yes.
GA: Arachnidsgrip
TT: Your ex-moirail?
GA: Yes
GA: Why Has She Done Something
GA: She Has Been Acting Very Strange Since The Death Of Her Lusus
GA: I Believe She Is Trying To Repair Her Life But Is Honestly Not Very Good At It
TT: John says she’s been flirting with him.
TT: “apparently”
TT: Adorable but clueless.
GA: Really
TT: He would like to know if I think he should flirt back.
TT: Not really a question I think I’m capable of answering without more information.
GA: Are You Asking Me
TT: Oh wait, he means considering some external factor.
TT: Related to me, I sup
TT: …hold on.
GA: What Is It
TT: Please, just… give me a minute with my tactless leader.
TT: If you’re curious perhaps you should go ask your tactless leader.
GA: All Right
TT: Back
GA: Hello
TT: Did you speak with carcinoGeneticist?
GA: No
GA: He Told Me To Leave Because He Was Having A Fight With Himself
GA: And That It Was Very Important That That Brinesucking Asswipe Be Put In His Place
TT: I… see.
GA: How Did Your Conversation Go
TT: Surprisingly…
TT: Touching. John may not be the most mature person I know but he is at least sensitive.
TT: And when not direct he is at least easy to decode.
GA: May I Inquire As To The Nature Of This Discussion
TT: Well…
TT: Yes, I think so. Apparently Karkat has been trying to put the kibosh on Troll/Human relationships.
TT: And has been suggesting preferred substitutes.
GA: Oh No
TT: John wanted to ask about the nature of our relationship.
TT: And since I am in a currently-undefined relationship with you, I figure you have a right to know that old greycaps is trying to muscle in.
GA: You Mean To Say That You Do Not Care
TT: About Karkat’s attempts to undermine other people’s feelings?
TT: No not particularly.
TT: If he wants to have an ashen crush on the world that’s his business.
TT: So long as you don’t mind, I certainly don’t.
GA: I Do No Know
GA: He Is My Leader But
GA: I Do Not See How This Means He Knows What Is Best For Me In This Regard
TT: I’m glad we can see eye to eye on this.
GA: Heh
TT: Now, where did we leave off?
GA: Wait
GA: What Did You And John Decide
TT: The same thing you and I did. That this was not the time for that kind of discussion and that time together would better tell.
GA: Fair Enough
TT: Are you worried he’ll play a matesprit rival for you?
GA: Are You Asking About My Intentions
GA: Because I Am Trying My Best Not To Have Any At The Moment
GA: Until We Have Met In Person
TT: I believe you. I just wanted to be sure.
GA: And What Do You Think Is Johns Perspective
TT: I think the whole deal is taking him more than a little by surprise.
TT: He found the idea of waiting a great comfort.
TT: In fact, he suggested it independently.
GA: I Take It This Is Hardly The Proper Course Of Human Courtship
TT: No, being ordered into pairings by a teenaged alien god-analogue is not our normal course of action when looking for mates.
TT: But nice segue.
GA: Thank You
TT: Human courtship in my demographic etc, etc, is divided into one or two stages depending on one’s end goal.
TT: Generally it begins with dating: one party asks the other “out” to some event or location of interest.
GA: To What End
TT: Early on, to get to know one another. Later, to just have fun, I suppose.
TT: Come to think of it, it’s really just an invitation to a private get-together. I suppose as a courtship ritual it draws more of its appeal from intent than the actual structure or activity.
TT: I’d never really given it much thought.
TT: Do you have an analog?
GA: Not Really
GA: Kismeses Plan Ambushes In Advance I Suppose
TT: Not really what I was thinking. I’d say both parties are usually aware of a date.
GA: Yes It Is Not Really All That Similar
GA: As For Matesprits It Is Not That They Do Not Spend Time Together In Private
GA: More That They Do So More Out Of Hand
TT: I wouldn’t say spontaneity is alien to the human system but I think we can assume a certain dissonance.
GA: Would You Say Some Relationships Start Without The Dating Process
TT: Yes, I would.
GA: Rose
TT: ?
GA: I Am Getting The Impression We May Not Be Very Dissimilar On This Topic
TT: Ha, maybe that’s for the best, considering.
GA: Yes I Agree
GA: Earlier You Mentioned Human Casual Dating
GA: Does This Mean The Optional Second Stage You Mentioned Is A Formalization
TT: Not my original intent, but good point. Make that two and three.
GA: And Do Humans Sometimes End Up In Competition For The Affection Of The Same Matesprit
GA: *Dating Partner
GA: Before This Formalization
TT: Don’t hurt yourself trying to parse it, I don’t think there is an English word for members of a couple.
TT: Yes, I’d say that happens from time to time.
GA: Given The Formalization Of The Early-Stage Relationships
GA: Is The Object Of Affection Generally Aware Of These Competing Attempts
GA: And
GA: Would You Say The Same Regarding The Competitors
GA: And If So What Is The Procedure For The Competitor That Does Not Succeed
TT: That’s an awfully detailed series of questions, I’m not sure I’m capable of answering all of them.
GA: These Sorts Of Tangles Often Occur When A Troll Is Courting Both A Matesprit And a Kismesis While The Latter Was Regarding My Curiousity For How A Relationship Falls Apart When It Is Not Yet An Actual Relationship As It Is Not Exactly A Situation We Had On Alternia Or Could Have Here In The Lab
TT: It’s all right, I didn’t need you to explain yourself.
TT: Though now that you have I’m more curious than ever.
TT: Are you all right?
GA: Have I Given You Reason To Suspect I Am Not
TT: Defensive replies, left field approach to questioning and that explanation was the longest contiguous block of text I’ve ever seen you type.
TT: Typing habits aren’t exactly sight and sound but I get the impression that this topic bothers you.
GA: Could You Answer The Question
TT: As best I can:
TT: a) Not necessarily b) Same c) I can’t imagine there is a procedure.
TT: Hoping to find answers in other cultures?
GA: Rose Please
GA: You Are Blowing This Out Of Proportion
TT: If you say so, I’ll believe you. I’m concerned is all.
TT: This is my concerned face.
GA: You Are Also Blowing That Out Of Proportion
GA: You Look Like A Sad Nepeta
TT: I’m not sure how to take that.
TT: But I suppose I should move on to the next part of your initial question.
GA: Wait
GA: Rose I Know This Is Hard To Understand Through Text But I Am Not Upset
GA: And I Am Sorry For Implying Such
GA: Well I Technically Am Upset But
GA: It Is More Embarrassment Over Still Being Upset
TT: I hope you realize that every tantalizing detail is only making me more eager for the rest of the story.
TT: So many sordid possibilities.
TT: I can already picture the buckets.
GA: All Right
GA: I Will Tell You If You Stop Making Light
TT: I’m not making light.
GA: You Are
GA: I Can See Your Face And You Are All Smiles
GA: Truly You Are The Most Horrible Of Human Beings
TT: You’ve found me out. Unbelievable.
TT: I admit it. I am a vampire that feeds on despair and suffering.
TT: Especially of innocent alien girls.
TT: But now that you’re joking back I find myself powerless.
GA: I Cannot Help It If You Keep Making Me Laugh
GA: When I Am Supposed To Be Filled With Righteous Mid-Sweep-Aged Angst
GA: …
GA: Put Your Damn Tongue Back In Your Mouth
TT: Yes that wasn’t very noble or vampiric of me.
TT: So should I assume this tale of yours has something to do with you precariously positioned between two suitors?
GA: No
GA: The Opposite
GA: I Figure I Should Start By Explaining My Ex-Moirail
-------------------------
“You’ll help? r-rEALLY,”
“Yes really,” Rose said. “If you still want my help.”
Tavros grinned from ear to ear. “Y-yeah, I do! Wow, this is great!”
“Did you talk to him?” Rose took a look about the room but there was no sign of Eridan. In fact, the whole room seemed almost abandoned, save for Tavros and silent Aradia. She wondered at first if it had something to do with Terezi and Dave’s outburst, but realized that, give or take a few awkward minutes, the movie would have ended just prior and that it would have been the prime chance for a lunch break. “And… why aren’t you at lunch?”
“Feet still don’t work,” he said, with a kick of one leg and no motion from the other. “As for Eridan…” Tavros looked a little downtrodden at first, and Rose scolded herself for doubting him when he perked up a few seconds later. “He… still seemed interested! I asked him if he might want to go watch the next movie with me when it starts and he said that’d be good.” Tavros then explained his earlier slump: “Then I realized I had accidentally created a memo instead of a chat.” He took an intense interest in playing with his fingers. “I was wondering why it wanted me to name it.”
“Vriska,” Rose concluded with a bit of a growl.
“Yeah… she was being really supportive, except… i i DON’T THINK SHE WAS ACTUALLY BEING SUPPORTIVE,”
Rose sighed into her hands and tried to think around the situation. “Tavros, two things. First: you need a nap. I mean really.” It had gone beyond easy to notice. His eyelids hung low like heavy drapes and the bags under his eyes were making his everyday downtrodden looks take on the appearance of near fainting. “Second…”
Up until then, Rose’s hand had been casually resting on the desk, not far from the hole Tavros’s foot had made the night before, but she snapped it away when the lip of a plate landed almost on top of it. The plate wobbled to a halt next to the hole, a wildly bouncing whole wheat sandwich atop, hanging on for dear life.
“Got your sandwich, Tav,” Vriska said from just behind Rose. Rose turned and saw her walking over to her computer, where she grabbed a chair and gave it a shove across the lab. It rolled to a stop just a Rose’s side. “Could you go online and look up what a ‘turkey’ is? Gamzee says it’s a bird with a ‘fUcKiNg BeArD’ and John just thought that was funny, so now I don’t know what we’re eating and I’m pretty sure we had better.”
Tavros did as he was told, picking up his sandwich and setting it to his left, and Vriska returned, butting intentionally into Rose. “’Scuze,” she said, a look on her face known to many a parent would have recognized as Holy-crap-how-can-you-be-this-stupid. “Aren’t you hungry?” she sneered, dropping into her chair and scooting over to Tavros, who was already on Wikipedia. “Hah!” Vriska said, seeing her first turkey. “No way! Fuck, Lalonde! Your planet is just packed with ugly animals, did you know that?” All the same, she immediately took a bite out of her sandwich and nodded approvingly.
Rose took a step back, getting only a half shrug from Tavros as communication. She supposed there really was not much more she could do to help Tavros with Vriska sitting right there, but it took her a moment to decide which way she’d rather go: to get lunch or to head down to Aradia’s section of the lab and see how John and Jade were getting on with Dave. A growling stomach made up her mind for her, figuring that her friends might already be eating. She headed off down the hall the Trolls had unlocked beside Gamzee’s computer.
To hear Eridan tell it, the cafeteria had been the site of the last true climactic battle fought between the Trolls and the Underlings as the Trolls laid claim to the facility. Calling it the climax had a fair deal to do with actual challenge, as it had taken a full seven of them to flush the place, but also thanks to a fantastic incident none of the other six could confirm. Eridan claimed at one point to have fought an Ogre dressed in ragged, Aradia-prototyped robes and dragon scales that had caught fire on the cafeteria’s range. Despite, the Ogre had apparently just kept coming and even survived multiple shots from his weapon. Whatever the truth of the war stories, the cafeteria still showed heavy signs of battle damage, though the Trolls had largely repaired the appliances, utensils and eating area to a pleasant and usable state, to say nothing of the far wall that would crumble a little every time someone moved a bench anywhere in the room. For sake of easy access to food, they had installed their primary alchemizer and its assorted gizmos in the pantry.
As far as Rose understood the lab’s layout, the Cafeteria was connected directly to Gamzee’s expansive sector. Unfortunately, Gamzee’s was such a confusing place that the only evidence she had for the connection was his word, and she was past trusting his word. More than a few times they had found him with his head stuck in the fridge, or eating ice cream in the middle of the empty dining hall floor, so if it was not connected he was at least good at sneaking past everyone to get inside. Either way, he had more or less declared himself head chef, though his schedule was scattered and ill-planned. Unless Karkat felt industrious enough to swat him awake and into the kitchen, it was more a matter of waiting as far as one felt comfortable past lunch before heading in to do it yourself.
“What is up my most loquacious motherfucker?”
“Hi Gamzee,” Rose said, trying to take inventory of the dining hall before she felt she had to make eye contacted out of politeness. “What’s for lunch?”
“Fuck bra, it’s sandwich day.” Rose could not help but notice the active pressure cooker. “We’ve got turkey and stuff on one hand and some squeezefruit on toast for the other, vegetarian-style.”
The kids and Trolls had been doing their best to exchange cuisines for the past few weeks; that Gamzee still had access to new flavours rescued from their respiteblocks continued to surprise Rose. It was one thing to still find new food while shuffling through an eleven-set cookbook from Alternia, but the sheer amount of food her mother and her friends’ guardians had shoved into their pantries just days before the game began was equal parts reassuring and suspicious. Cake mixes and cereal boxes packed with shuriken aside.
Rose decided to stick to that game plan. “I guess I’ll have that… what did you call it?”
“Squeezeberry,” he repeated, and produced one from under the counter. It looked more like a speckled pepper to Rose, about half the length of a finger. Pinching it at the base with one hand, Gamzee squelched it with another until it had ejected a viscous orange paste all over the counter. He nodded, lips pursed and eyelids lowered, like an artist proclaiming his latest masterpiece complete.
Rose leaned slightly over the spit guard dividing her from the kitchen to get a closer look at the mess. “Uh… sure Gamzee, I’ll have one, just… not that one.”
“Cool,” he said, swiping it up and sucking it off his finger. Rose watched for a while as he began to prepare some toast with one hand while absent-mindedly, but dutifully, washing the one that had just been in his mouth. Assured that her sandwich was being prepared by semi-professional Gamzee rather than utterly spaced Gamzee, she returned to taking stock of the adjoining dining hall. At the far side of the room, she spotted Feferi, who was narrating a story to Sollux using the remains of her meal for props, and most of the movie-watching group, who were discussing the plot at the top of their voices. Worst was Nepeta, who had Equius tugging at her trenchcoat to sit back down on the bench instead of the table. John was sitting with the other movie-fans, while Jade and Eridan sat at opposite sides of the room, both a few seats removed from the others who they watched with a certain detachment.
“Gamzee,” Rose said, turning back and discovering that Gamzee’s right side was covered from wrist to waist in flour. “…have you seen Dave, Terezi or Kanaya?”
“Well, my coolest bro was in here to grab some fruit and tell me that he wouldn’t be showing up to our jam session tonight, but I’m used to that. Fucker’s never really around any more, you know? But nah, my stylish fucking sister ain’t been here since yesterday, and I ain’t seen Terezi since she blew up all over the lab this morning. Fuck, why is everyone so glum today? TaKe a lOoK ArOuNd aNd sMiLe, YoU KnOw, CaUsE aIn’T ShIt sO FuCkInG WoNdErFuL? So I’m making her some hot dogs to bring up later.”
“You’re… pardon?” Rose stepped a big closer as Feferi and Sollux walked past, back towards the lab, his arm over her shoulders and a laughing look on his face as she continued to tell him something Rose could not really piece together about a family of oysters.
“Crazy motherfucker loves my dogs, man. Two hot dogs with hot peppers and enough ketchup to drown the imperial guard.”
Rose realized that, yes, one of the three saucepans just sitting on top of the nearby range full of dirty utensils and soap bubbles was actually boiling water. “I think I get it. Red, red and red, right?”
“Nah, my man, you gotta look at the big picture. If yOuR WhOlE FuCkInG WoRlD Is rEd, LiKe, HoW Do yOu kNoW? I got all kinds of awesome bell peppers from Jade’s house, you have no idea. It’s like a motherfucking rainbow on a plate. And cheese. I put it right in the dog because then you can’t see it coming and then you’re like whoa! Fucking cheese! So awesome.” He had walked over to the fridge as he spoke, pulling out the ingredients and laying them on a cutting board as he mentioned them. He held the cheddar up to his face when he found it, boring his soul deep into its very nature. “Did you know this used to be milk?” he asked. “FuCkInG. MiRaClEs.”
“You’re really putting a lot of effort into this,” Rose said, her prying inner psychiatrist latching on to this new information. “You must really care.”
“Fuck, I care if anybody comes in here looking like a rain cloud. Your cute friend wanted to talk so she and I were poking through the books until she decided to make some lemon meringue pie. Did you know,” he said, leaning over the spit guard and whispering as though he was spilling government secrets. “Did you know that you can make pies out of anything?” He gave her a wide-eyed, knowing nod of his head. “Then the other day Kitty comes in with six of her dead rats and sniffling like someone just took her favourite jingle toy, so I lit up some sticks in the corner and we had an awesome fucking camp fire.” Gamzee pointed to the far end of the dining hall, and Rose made a mental note to tell Sollux that his sprinkler system might not be as fully operational as he had bragged.
“So people just come to you for help?” Rose asked. Gamzee shook his head.
“Nah, man. Well, maybe. I make them lunch. I mean, I don’t want to see anyone all upset or soon everybody’s upset, but sometimes you just gotta sit down and… coast. Especially don’t like seeing all you pretty ladies with a frown.” He set his arms, crossed, and met her eyes. “…So something eatin’ you?”
He had transformed into the unbelievable picture of utter seriousness. He even frowned, which Rose had never seen, and his eyes looked in the same direction, which was irregular enough. Seriousness and a sympathetic face on a guy half-covered in flour and his elbow in a puddle of squeezeberry. Rose felt conflictingly torn between laughing and babbling out her day all at once. “I guess…” she said, “I’m finding out what you mean about people being upset making everyone upset.”
He gave a tilt of his head as though to acquiesce to that, and when it was clear she had said all she was willing, the corner of his lip turned up a bit and Rose finally gave in to her laughter. He grinned a toothy grin and then, screaming like the demon had dropped in uninvited, he leapt into the air when the toast popped up.
“MoThErFuCk!” He grabbed at the toast with his bare hands, pinching and retracting until he got used enough to the heat to yank each piece out onto the plate he set in front of him, and then began to rummage through the bins below for another squeezeberry. Despite finding his demonstration with no trouble, a pile of fruit was dropped onto the counter in no time, leading to a mixed pool of juices. At last he gave a cry of triumph and emerged with his quarry.
“Gamzee,” Rose started when he was wrapping up his work. “Do you think you could make me a sandwich for Kanaya, too? She’s been looking down since this morning, and maybe I can cheer her up, or at least get her to eat, after I’m done talking to Tavros.”
“Sure thing, bra. No rationing here, she can come down and eat the whole fucking loaf if she wants.” That might have been true, but Gamzee did have a certain culinary touch, and Rose knew that any moment after he was left to his own devices he might suddenly give up and wander off. Gamzee pulled out what Rose discovered to be an actual turkey breast, and began to carve it. “So what’s up with my bro?”
“Tavros? Oh, he…” she lowered her voice to a whisper, not really sure how much was actually official yet. “He asked me to help out him with Eridan.”
“Fuck, really?” He slammed his meat knife onto the cutting board with jarring, audible force. “Holy shit, we’re like family then! Next thing you know you'll be his aupistice. Fuck, why didn’t you say so?”
“Oh!” Rose looked away from the cutting board with a jerk, her surprise overwhelming her initial fear that Gamzee had just removed his pinky and was having a delayed reaction. “You mean… you and Tavros are moirails?”
“FuCk YeAh! I mean, I said to my bro, I said: ‘My bro, you and me have been bros for sweeps and now that you’re raising your voice a little, everyone wants to be your bro! Except I’m your bro, bro, and you know I’ve got your motherfucking back to the motherfucking end, bro, and I know you’ve got mine too ‘cause…’”
“Because you’re his bro too?” Rose supplied..
“Nah, like, because this one time he all up and dragged me back to my Hive after I had wandered out in the middle of the day AnD ThOuGhT EvErYtHiNg wAs sOmE KiNdA CaNdY? I mean, who does that?” Rose was not sure which part he was asking about but he did not actually seem to be looking for an answer. “LoVe iS A FuCkInG MiRaClE. Speaking of which, here’s Kani’s sandwich. You go fix whatever’s going wrong there and everything’ll be better in the morning. And hey!” he said, as Rose put the sandwiches in her sylladex, deciding to save both for when she met up with Kanaya. “If Eridan’s all cool with you auspisticing him and Tav, you get them all down here and we’ll have an awesome fucking pie I saw this morning to celebrate being this whole big family thing.”
Rose sucked in air through her teeth, though only partially because the idea of being “family” with Gamzee, even this new, improved, everbody’s-confidant, semi-professional Gamzee, was sinking in. Right. Eridan. She had been so eager to help out Tavros that she had not really considered the full consequences that her help was at the mercy of both halves of the relationship. She wondered if Eridan was really going to let her ignore him when it came to Vriska and help out with Tavros. Gamzee must have seen the confliction on her face, because he then added: “And if you don’t, you just come down and we’ll have some comfort pie. I am totally making this pie, Rose. Just so long as I can find the recipe again, I mean. Fucking thing’s up and vanished on me.” He slapped the side of his bookended cookbooks, the last of which read Traditional Autumn Recipies.
“Okay, I’ll see how it goes with Kanaya,” Rose said, suddenly worried about exactly how it was going to go with Kanaya. She had not really had time to analyze the possibilities, what could be wrong, if she had done anything to provoke a problem. In truth, she was going in completely blind, armed only with cold cuts and good intentions. “Thanks, Gamzee, you’ve been a big help,” Rose said honestly, and tried to back away.
“Rose!” said the person she bumped into. Jade clutched at the tip of her hair and separated from her friend, looking more than a little flustered. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Rose said, more surprised than anything. “You?” She nodded. “Okay, good. …Did you and John… talk to Dave?”
“I don’t know if I can really call it that!” Jade said with irritation, stomping from tip toe to the ground. “He just brushed us aside every time he even had to make eye contact! I think he might be really hurting, Rose, but there’s nothing we can really do if he’s not going to listen to us. Oh, sure, John says if Dave says he’s fine, he’s fine, but I think he’s not going to let on to something like that!”
“Yeah,” Rose said, “Terezi was in a pretty bad way too.”
“You talked to Terezi?”
“Yeah, but… you know. Private.” Jade nodded. “Look, I don’t think there’s anything we can do about Dave if he doesn’t want us to. Why don’t you go watch the last few movies with everyone else and, if Dave doesn’t come to talk to anyone, let’s just one of us find him if he’s around at night time, maybe that will help him open up.”
“But who?”
“…Not me,” Rose said after some thought. “I’m worried I might slip something Terezi said to me and that would be awful. You and John should decide. Maybe he’d rather talk to you to help understand some of his girl trouble, or maybe he and John can, uh…” Rose tossed a look over her shoulder to where Gamzee was humming I’ve Been Working on the Railroad while hefting a meat tenderizer. “Maybe they can be bros about it. I don’t know, we’ll have to just take a shot in the dark.”
Looking at Gamzee had provided Rose with more than a silly turn of phrase. Seeing Jade at the same time as him, her hair in split ends and her buck teeth biting down on her lower lip, Rose could not help but remember what Gamzee had vaguely confided to her. Maybe it was just her opinion, but she had a good feeling of which Human was the "cute friend." “Jade, besides this are… you doing okay here?”
Jade nodded. “Y-yeah. I’d say so. It’s a little cold?” she suggested, holding one arm of her sweatshirt with the other. “Aren’t you okay?”
Rose smiled and nodded, immediately aware that all she had done was to provoke Jade’s existing worry about their mutual friend. “Yeah, I’m fine, just making sure. I’m gonna go see Kanaya tonight, okay, but we can talk later.”
“Yeah,” Jade said, eyes big behind her glasses and looking a little less like her usual spunky self with one arm held dangling alongside the other. “Good luck, then.”
Rose really had no idea what she had meant by that.
When Rose returned to the lab she was greeted by a strange sight indeed. A few things had changed to lesser effect: Sollux and Feferi were back at Sollux’s computer, but Feferi’s mood had changed from her bouncy, storytelling self to one of familiar, furtive glances in Aradia’s direction. Sollux seemed to recognize the problem all his own, and he leaned over and planted a kiss just behind her gills. This sent a visible tremble up Feferi's spine and had her send look of gleeful accusation back at him, to which he replied by passively coding as though nothing had happened. Terezi had returned, and was sitting at her computer, typing quietly, her dragon-topped cane at her side in lieu of the plain, probably still stuck in the floor a few storeys above. But the strange thing had nothing to do with the new arrivals, but rather those Rose had left behind.
“So, so,” Tavros was saying, his hands gesturing like a conductor over their emptied plates. “So Rufio comes in from above and gets the dragon right between the eyes!” He mimed this, holding his arms as though ramming in a lance.
“Yeah, and then Spinneret comes in from behind and wham! Right on the neck.” She made a slashing gesture with her claws in mid-air… “And then it goes down hard.” …and brought her fist down on the table with a thwump.
They looked to one another and both nodded enthusiastically, after which Tavros passed over the keyboard and Vriska began to type at a rapid pace. Tavros kept a close watch on his screen, which Rose saw with a crane of her neck was tuned to a word processor, and he read along. “No, wait, hold on,” he said. “I think that’s a bit too bloody for Rufio. I mean, it’s been a big problem but he’d still feel sorry for the poor dragon.”
“No, wait, hold on,” Vriska said. “You’re right, but I got it. I got it. Check this out.” She deleted the last few lines and began to type again. Tavros’ mood picked up at once and he sort bounced in his chair as much as his one heavy leg would allow. When the paragraph was completed, Vriska returned the keyboard and they began to plot again.
“So then,” she said, “Spinneret gets up on the dragon and shouts ‘We did it!’” Fist pump. She even took partially to her feet. “Or you know, something like that.”
“And… and then Rufio flies over and like, picks her up, because they’re both all excited.” Awkwardly, but not in the way Rose would associate Tavros with “awkward” but something much closer to the mean, he set an hand on Vriska’s shoulder and the other on her side. Rose almost expected a reflex reaction from Vriska, counter or cooperative, but neither came. Instead, she just kept talking.
“And she’s a lot better with the heights this time, I mean what with the rocket boots, but also with the trust thing.”
“Right. I should write that down,” Tavros said, and let her go, returning to the keyboard, all of which Vriska took with a business-sense Rose had not really expected from her.
“No, no,” she said. “With an ‘i’.”
“Right,” Tavros said, and finished what he was typing and turned back to her. Automatically, Vriska lifted up the arm to expose the side he had previously been holding. When he experienced another awkward pause, she could not help but to break down laughing. “w-wHAT IS IT,”
“Oh don’t make that face,” Vriska said. “I just feel silly all… dangling.” She held out her arm at a right angle and let the hand swing there, and then even Tavros laughed. Feferi tossed the improving co-authors a glowing look over her shoulder, and Rose was almost certain she heard a frustrated groan from Terezi, who Rose caught returning to her seat proper after whatever glares she had shot them. Tavros’ confidence restored, he took her back in his arms and she wrapped hers about his as though she was really, if delicately, hanging to him for dear life. “And then…”
“And then,” Tavros said, “in all the excitement, he uh… he kisses her.”
There was the briefest, pregnant pause between them, before Tavros tipped his head and horns and kissed Vriska gently on the cheek.
He was on the far side from Rose, and so she could just barely make out a moment where Vriska’s eyes fell distant and shut, her lips slightly parted, before he broke off and she, instantly, returned to her former disposition. “But then she’s all, ‘Oh, wait, where the hell did that come from?’ and she’s angry.”
“wAIT, hOLD ON,” Tavros said. “I thought we had built up to this.”
“No, no, you doof, I get it.”
“Oh, sorry, right.”
Freeing her arms from about his neck, Vriska clapped them together. “Awkward fade to black, I laughed, I teared up, I felt their pain. Awesome, print it.”
Tavros nodded and let her go, returning to his keyboard as Vriska pushed slightly away to get enough room to lay back and set her feet on the desk, her tongue errantly drawing along her upper lip. From time to time she would nod at Tavros’ choice of words or turn of phrase, and after a time he ended his paragraph and set the keyboard in her lap to take his own turn in the editor role. When she had finished, she outright tossed the keyboard back onto the desk, threw her hands in the air and gave a whoop of joy.
“Man I’m glad that’s finally out in the open! Tavros, we are never doing extended sexual tension again.”
“Aw, I liked it,” Tavros said, head in his hands.
“Well… fine, but at least give me a break while these two goofs—” Vriska slapped the monitor, “—sort themselves out. You still watching your movie now?”
“Yeah.”
She frowned. “Are you sure?”
“Yup!”
“Pfft, fine,” Vriska said, and she sat up straight in her chair, except for one leg she kept wound up against the desk. She set the other on one of the chair’s legs. “I’ll see you later, Tav.” And she kicked off, sliding to a stop square in front of her own computer.
“Bye, Vriska,” Tavros said, and he scrolled back through their story to give it a second read. Vriska, for her part, slapped her keyboard to wake the machine from sleep mode and began to fiddle rhythmically with a pen against her desk. Rose had never seen her so bouncy, energetic or simply so downright happy. She could not help herself.
“That was adorable,” she said, stepping up to Vriska and trying to speak at a volume low enough to keep the conversation to the two of them. “Weren’t you throttling him like, three days ago?”
Vriska replied with theatrics, her voice toned like a child. “Oh, bio-lusus, look at the weird Trolls, their ways are so strange and exotic!” She scoffed. “Lalonde, I am on a creative high, and you are mucking with it. Mucking, muckity mucker muck. Do you have a reason for being here?”
Rose honestly had only come over to jibe Vriska a little, since she seemed so into doing that on her own terms and it felt nice to get one in on her own for once, but she could not help actually considering the question posed now that it was out in the open. In her mind, a picture formed of four quadrants. Maybe it was the fact that Terezi was just a few steps away, or maybe it was her conversation with Gamzee, but she could not help but take in the whole of Tavros’ “family.” He had his moirail. He was shooting for his matesprit, and he had asked Rose to be his auspistice. There was only one slot left, really.
“Vriska…” Rose said, trying with the pause to change the tone of the conversation. “Do you still have feelings for Tavros?”
“…How… the hell is that any of your business? And what are you implying, ‘still’?” Rose swallowed hard, not believing she had let Kanaya's confidence slip like that, and immediately started to wonder if it was only Vriska’s “creative high” that had kept her down in her chair, merely throwing a killing glare over her shoulder. She had to tread carefully, but all she could give as an answer was honesty.
“It’s my business because he wants my help with Eridan. And look, this is going to sound really corny, but I don’t know what I’m doing and… look, Vriska, isn’t this something you should be doing?”
Vriska wheeled in her chair with shocking speed, the roller-chair skills of a champion, and the look on her face was not anger but something more approaching disdainful pity. She initially held up a hand to Rose in hopes of stopping her from rambling saccharine, but Rose really did not have the guts to keep talking to a face like that.
“Look, human, let me sit you down for a second here and explain something that’s so obvious that everyone here has seen it but you, apparently. You want… I-I mean John, even, Rose.” Vriska was frustrated to the point of shaking. “John gets this. It’s not some human thing. You want to know if I have feelings for Tavros? And if I want to ringmaster his and Scarfula’s late-night makeout circus? Rose.”
And she reached up, clamped Rose on the shoulder and wrenched her down. Rose could not on her darkest day have hoped to withstand Vriska’s strength, and collapsed at once down to her knees and eye level with Vriska’s infamous vision eightfold.
“Rose,” Vriska said. “From the bottom of my black, shrivelled, collapsing and expanding vascular system, I wish nothing – nothing! – but happiness for Tavros.”
And she stopped speaking, holding the pause to make sure that Rose appreciate the full stop, even shooting her looks that said Do you get it? Do ya? Then, satisfied, Vriska released Rose's shoulder and spun with a force back towards her computer. Rose took slowly to her feet and took a careful step north. At the far side of the room, Feferi had slipped back into to casting errant looks in Aradia’s direction, but otherwise the room seemed unchanged, and it was clear that no one had been listening. Rose had not really, even in her wildest dreams, believed that wanting nothing to do with auspisticing Eridan was going to be such a blasted problem today. It was even starting to get to others. Had he woken Vriska up at five in the morning too?
She glanced over at Vriska’s clock as she stood and took her time to translate the Alternian numerals. “Dammit,” she hissed to a room that did not really care. “The further I get to sitting down to rest, the longer it takes.”
This is the first time I made it through even the smallest pesterlog with no colour tag errors! (Please point out the remaining colour tag errors from the pesterlog in replies).
Gamzee, I’ve missed you. Never leave. Also, “Love is a fucking miracle” is another callback to Musical Thrones, when he was explaining to Feferi how he first heard about Karkat and Terezi. He just honestly believes that. Why shouldn't he?
Took me forever to come up with something for Tavros and Vriska to be doing. No wonder everyone is dating, roleplaying, hijacking my fic through the power of cute and just plain writing. There’s nothing else to do.
Last edited by SkaianRedeemer; 11-25-2010 at 10:01 PM.
Reason: What an awful pre-post editing job I did. Yeuch.
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's just.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
That was magnificent, Skiain. However, and this may just be my sleep-deprived brain, but I didn't really understand that last conversation with Rose and Vriska. Would someone be so kind as to explain? (In spoilers, of course.)
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