HomeSeized: A Homestuck Fan RP - Official RP Thread

[introvertedOptimist]

Links
OOC
Rules and Character Sheets
Our Mibbit

The In-Character Extravaganza

[introvertedOptimist]

Mike sat at his desk. The clock on his laptop read '2:21 PM' and the date on his laptop was 'December 20th 2010.' On the wall, his calender had one date circled: December 20th 2010. Also on the wall, a poster displayed.

He thought: When will my package get here? Mike Ryder was waiting for his copy of the latest game to come out: SKURP. He was planning to play it with his online buddies. Mike very much wondered when they would answer his bulletin. Then all of a sudden... DING!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- laptopPsyche [LP] opened memo on board COMMUNICATIONS NETWORK. --
LP: Okay guys, there's this new game that just released today...
LP: It's called SKURP.
-- inaneEccentricities [IE] responded to memo. --
IE: pretty damn sweet
IE: anything you can tell me about this thing?
LP: No, there's no manual or readme apparently.
IE: mysterious, new release then? how new is it?
LP: It just came out today.
IE: wow!
IE: I don't know if I have any cash for it then
LP: Don't worry, I'm sending copies of the game to all our buds.
LP: Apparently, they should get there today.
IE: cool send away
IE: so you heard from anyone else?
LP: Nah.
LP: Oh and by sending, I meant I preordered them for you guys already.
IE: damn, any idea if this thing's multiplayer?
LP: I think it is... Lemme look it up.
LP: Yeah, it's multiplayer...
IE: o-ho! so you do know something about it after all
IE: haha, it's cool, I'll check in if you have more info on this thing!
LP: That's only because I found it on a faq/review site.
IE: later man
LP: Bye!

-- inaneEccentricities [IE] has ceased responding to memo --
-- laptopPsyche [LP] closed memo on board COMMUNICATIONS NETWORK. --

[cinchal]

?>You are now someone else who was just mentioned in a conversation!

You are Jake Simons. and this is all very frustrating typing with people when your connection makes it nigh impossible to not repeat things in conversation when it's already been explained. oh well. You decide it might be about time to get some more people involved.

convo

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- inaneEccentricities [IE] began pestering demonicSpider [DS] [2:23]
IE: hey DS, how's it hangin'?
--DS logged on--
DS: Uhhgh
DS: why
DS: why at this time
IE: oh you know, just keepin tabs, haha
DS: I was dreaming
DS: oh well
IE: besides you need to be awake a bit more...all this sleep
IE: haha, anyways
DS: better then reality
IE: arguably so...
IE: LP's got some new game goin on you want in?
DS: Huh?
IE: yeah...
IE: not much info on it
DS: You mean the one I already have?
IE: man....
DS: or another one?
IE: do I need to check my mailbox too?
DS: no
DS: if you got it it should have been yesterday
IE: haha, whatever, he said he preordered it for us so I guess you got it from him clandestinely?
DS: Huh?
DS: Oh
DS: I guess I did then
IE: hehe, ok, so you want in? I havn't really checked that thing out yet...
DS: Sure then
DS: as soon as I finish drooling all ove rthe desk
DS: and wake up
IE: haha, enjoy it! the memo's on the COMMUNICATIONS NETWORK board
DS: no way
DS: I use my own memo's thank you very much
DS: I'm not too happy with LP
DS: as you know
IE: ugh, ok, but I'm not being the messenger for much longer here
DS: whatever
IE: lates then good dreamin man
DS: he needs to stop chainmailing me
DS: and everything else
DS: what
DS: no
DS: don't
IE: waht's this?
IE: shit *what's
DS: its uhh
DS: who else is in
DS: is SP in?
IE: I havn't seen anyone else on the board yet
DS: oh
DS: darn
DS: that sucks
IE: I really have to get going, can you talk to him about it?
DS: okay
DS: hurry up
IE: lates then I'll get back to you when I do!
DS: okay
DS: lates
--inaneEccentricities [IE] ceased pestering demonicSpider [DS]-- [2:28]

it is ridiculous the distance you stretch to keep these guys together. Well, it's about time you check the mail for bills and possible spoils. Down to the first floor and out the door. Inside the mailbox are a couple of bills for utilities, a couple more of those insufferable christmas cards that make noise when they're opened and an indigo package about half a foot square and 3 inches thick from LP, what a buddy.

[introvertedOptimist]

Mike looked out the window and saw the mail truck come by. The mailman stopped by the mailbox, stuffed a few letters in, and lifted the thing-that-lets-you-know-if-there's-any-new-mail. The mailman walked up to the door and left a package labeled "SKURP." He walked down the driveway, got into his mail truck, and drove off. Quest on, Mail man. Mike got up out of his chair, rushed down the stairs, and opened his door. He peaked his head out, looked left, then looked right. Mike bent over and picked up the package, then ran upstairs all giddy like a school girl.

Chat Between inaneEccentricities [IE/Jake] and laptopPsyche [LP/Mike]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- laptopPsyche [LP] began pestering inaneEccentricities [IE] --
LP: Hey hey!
IE: yo man, what it be?
LP: I got my package!
LP: Yours should be outside by now.
IE: cool
LP: yeah I know!
IE: yeah I just picked it up a minute ago, haha
IE: thanks for that present thing, I'll open it on christmas or something
LP: hmph Mr mail man was late. ]:<
IE: damnnnnn
LP: don't wait til christmas you baffoon!
LP: sorry
LP: outburst.
IE: why not?
IE: no worries dude, why not?
LP: i don't know really...
LP: :|
IE: oh... I'll follow your gut this time I guess, haha
LP: Well the mailman got there too early for you and too late for me...
LP: We could open it now or on Christmas
LP: which would you rather?
IE: I'd open it on christmas...
LP: Oh okay.
LP: Seeya!
IE: ok, see see
-- laptopPsyche [LP] ceased pestering inaneEccentricities [IE] --

[ChemIisan]

No use going back to sleep now. Oh well. Might as well go pop some balloons before you play this shitty game.



But wait, we don't know your name!

Bad Anime reference?

Oh c'mon. Really guess this time, before he tears you a new cornhole.

Vlad Johannes?

A serendipitous alignment of the sun and moon at this exact moment say that chances are you are EXACTLY right. Your name is Vlad Johannes, and you don't know what you are doing right now.

[introvertedOptimist]

Mike looked at the package in temptation to open it, but tried his best to direct his attention to Pesterchum as he opened a new window to have his 2nd chat of the day.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- laptopPsyche [LP] began pestering demonicSpider [DS] --
DS: Oooh ggopg
DS: iii tlld you too leeave me aloone
LP: well that wasn't very nice :(
DS: yooure thhee oone wiith anna attitiide issue
LP: :(
LP: well uh are you gonna play the game with me and IE?
DS: nnnoooo fuuckking waaayy wiithh yooou
DS: iimm sttarrtttinng mmyy oowwnn grrrouup
DS: ii jjusust need twooo ppperoplle
LP: well me and IE are two people...
LP: so that's great!
LP: :D
DS: aaahhhh ffuuuck
DS: iiiusss hheee alllreaadyy plllayyyign withhh yoouu
DS: iii thhhissnnkk mmee annnd hiiiimmm nneeed too havvve a ttaolk
LP: oooohhhh i like secrets :)
DS: ffffcfuuuuucckcking aaa
DS: nnooo
DS: yoyoyoou willl noot beee innnvolveed inn myy gsmmme
LP: what are you doing right now anyway? your typing like you're drinking soup...
DS: ttthhheaaattttss caaausee III ammmm eeeaaatiiing
DS: annnd mmmy kkyybaaardd iiss bbtoookennn
LP: what are you eating anyway?
DS: stttteaaakk iiisss gooooooooooodddd fooorr yooou rraaawww
DS: yoooou sshoooulllld tryyyy iiittt
LP: ewwwww!!!
DS: iiiii toooolld yooou
DS: ttryyy iittt befforrre yooou diissss iiittt
LP: i don't want to! that's gross!
DS: iiittttssss gooodd foorrr yoouuu
DS: rrriiiccchhh iinnn miiinnnerallll
DS: sss
DS: annnnnddd ppprottieenn
LP: no! you have no idea how much germs are on it!
DS: Iii dooo
DS: goooddd ggerrrms
DS: yuuuummm
DS: II eeatt iittt all thee tiimme
LP: nasty!
DS: annnnd I'mm onlly sicckk everyy ottther monnth
DS: seee
DS: hoooww hhealltyyh iit isss?
DS: bbettter thhhennn a pppubbblicc schoool
LP: no... anyway are you gonna play?
DS: ooooffff coooursseee yooou orrrrron
DS: whhyyy woollddn'y I pllay a gggaammz
DS: e
LP: i think i'm gonna puke!
DS: ahhhhhhahahahhhaaaa
-- laptopPsyche [LP] ceased pestering demonicSpider [DS] --

Mike ran into the bathroom and puked a storm into the toilet, gagging every once in a while. VERY GROSS. HURP DURP.

[Anonymous]

>Be the female human.

You are now...

...

>Llyn Suliss.

Right, that was your name.

Your name is Llyn Suliss. You have a distinct lack of interests, limiting your activities to thinking about the logical impossibilities of the world, looking for games worth playing, playing any games found, and improving the performance of your heavily outdated computer until you can afford a new one so you can at least run the damn games alongside other programs. Online, you go by the alias xenocidalCake, which perfectly complements one of your favorite games, Portal. You have a few friends, most of which are annoying and only one of which you actually get along with. You are currently in your room, finishing a quick tune-up which should improve your computer's performance by 13%.

You spend a few minutes finishing the upgrade and piecing your computer together again, and open up Pesterchum. No crashes this time, that's a good sign. You peruse the chumroll. Looks like a few people are on right now.

[Anonymous]

[Spam imminent.]

You proceed to have a conversation with the coolest. person. ever.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

DS: hhhheeeyyyy XC
XC: Hey DS!
DS: aarrrree yoouuu pllaayyingg thhe fffaccnyy nnneww gaaamee
DS: yeettt
XC: I jus7 go7 i7, ac7ually. I'm going 7o load i7 up as soon as I'm cer7ain 7he PC isn'7 going 7o break down again.
DS: aahhh
DS: yyooouu shouulld jooiinn mmeee
XC: I was ac7ually planning on 7eaming up wi7h you. You're 7he only person I know 7ha7 I can ac7ually s7and. 7he res7 of 7hem are annoying or Bri7ish, and I can'7 s7and ei7her one.
DS: ahhhhahahaaaa
XC: I'm serious.
DS: goooddd waaayy too puutt ittt
DS: weeeereee gooinnng too fooormmm a teeaammm
DS: tooo ppeeet thhhe paaannntsss off LPPP
XC: Grea7. I can'7 s7and 7ha7 guy.
DS: pppeerrrfffeccttt
DS: whhheennn wiilll yooou bee reaaddy
XC: I'm going 7o load up 7he disk righ7 now. I may respond slowly for a bi7 because of 7ha7. You know how wor7hless my sys7em is, righ7?
DS: yyessss
DS: iii haaadd ittt waaaayyyy beffforrree yooouu evvveer diiidd
XC: Jus7 7hree more days, and I can s7op 7aking apar7 my compu7er every week 7o add new sof7ware of some 7ype.
DS: yeeeppp
DS: thhattt shhhittss chhillldsss plllayyy
XC: I'm jus7 going 7o pre7end you didn'7 insul7 me.
DS: hhhaahhahaaa
DS: sssoooorrryyy
DS: annnyywayyys
DS: IIi cann seennnnddd yooou al lliiiitttteee vversssion
DS: iiittss sjjusssst
DS: callled BETA
DS: ahahaha
DS: jjjuussst joosshiiinng wiiithhh yooou
DS: thhhiiisss iiisss thhhee finnnallk verrsiiionnn yooou havvve
DS: thhheee betttaaa'ss juuusst a coool niickkkname
DS: verrrsuuusss SBURB
XC: Alrigh7, i7'll probably load fas7er 7han 7he disk.
DS: ahhhhahahhhhh
DS: suuurrre
DS: I'll sennnd yoou a piiratte
DS: waiiit
DS: http://search5.comcast.com/?cat=dnsr...l=tiny.pic.com
XC: 7hanks.
DS: suuureee
DS: thhheereess noo regggisttrratiionn stteppp
DS: soooo thiiisss savvves tiiiiimmme
XC: Swee7.
DS: byy jussst giviing you thhe dooownnload
DS: not thhee insttalll
DS: iitt miighht havve a feww errorsss thoough
DS: I usssed myy diiisk
XC: Wow, i7's already 50% done.
DS: fuuckkk yess
DS: waiiit
DS: I'mm gonnaaa seerrrveerr yooouuu
DS: iiisss thhhatt okayyy
XC: Yeah, 7ha7's cool wi7h me.
DS: fuucckkk waait
DS: II gootta innstalll it
DS: foorrgott
DS: bee backk
DS: oookkkaayyy
DS: gooot mussiicc sett upp
DS: goott myy keeeybooarrd falling
DS: gooott loootss off sooodaa too keep me awwake
DS: annndd uhh
DS: shhitt
DS: noo ussers manualll
DS: whhatt thhe fucckk
XC: Who needs a manual? We can figure i7 ou7 perfec7ly well wi7hou7 one.
DS: yeess
DS: butt
DS: yoouu knooowww
DS: wee probabbly onlly havve a few minnites besst
DS: before my viissions startss blurring
DS: sooo
DS: lletttss doo thiisss
DS: omm
DS: whatts thhee IP
DS: of yoour hoouse
DS: itt''s askinng foorrr it
XC: 314.1.3.162.
DS: okky dookeey
DS: whatt thhee
DS: huuhhh?
DS: I cann se a girll
DS: II thhinkkk
DS: whhatt doo yoou gett onn yoouurr screeen\
XC: Jus7 some weird swirly symbol 7hing.
DS: well fucck
DS: I wonnder
DS: I'm goooing to click onn the bed
DS: whow shit
XC: Bu7 i7 wasn'7 doing 7ha7 before, so
DS: I can lift this thing
DS: thattts pretty coool
XC: WHA7 7HE FUCK HOLY SHI7 MY BED IS FLYING
DS: phyysiiccs ennginne
DS: ooh yyeah
DS: I'mm gonnna makke it flly
DS: phhhsssooooo
DS: loookk att itt gooo
DS: hoolly fuucck what
DS: sorry
DS: I think I broke your avatars bed
DS: and the wall
XC: Um... I 7hink you broke MY bed. And 7he wall.
DS: ahhhaa
DS: sorry
DS: yoou can fix that latter
DS: I'mm goinng to usse thiis wall feature now
DS: kaBAMMM
DS: ahha
DS: new wall
DS: I fixed it
DS: but
DS: it uh
DS: cost moneys
DS: blue gushers
DS: it looks like
XC: OH FUCKING GOD DO NO7 UNDER ANY CIRCUMS7ANCES MEN7ION 7HA7 CURSED ABOMINA7ION 7O ME AGAIN
DS: Fucck itts juusst whhatt theeyy look likee
DS: heey look
DS: free junnk
DS: I'mm goingg too drop it onn thhee arreaaa wiithh thhe bllankknness
DS: WHichh uhh
DS: coinncidenntally iss where your former bedd iss
DS: woow
DS: a cool tubbe machinee
DS: uhh ohh
DS: I ran outt a room after the sowwing machhine
DS: uhh
DS: cann youu move your player avatar
DS: I anna place this
DS: wanna
XC: I'll clean up a bi7 so 7here's space 7o place 7he res7 of 7his.
DS: its a card
DS: and there's no room left
DS: oh wait
XC: And why do you keep saying player ava7ar. All 7his s7uff is happening 7o me in 7he real world.
DS: I'll just drop it above yo
DS: what
DS: wow
DS: that must be pretty cool
DS: I'mm gonna drop this card on your head now
XC: Bu7 how could a game influence 7he real world...
DS: drop
DS: look at it fly down
DS: aha
XC: OW.
DS: perrrfeccttlly onn yoourr heaaddd
DS: jusst chill
DS: Ii goott hiisss uunnderr
DS: CONTROLL
DS:
XC: Yeah, wha7ever. You aren'7 really doing a good job of con7rolling.
DS: whatch this
XC: Anyways, 7here should be space for wha7ever else you're going 7o drop.
DS: Imm gonna movve yoouurr booddy fromm thee arre I need to place it in
DS: hy
DS: I can't select you
DS: oh well
DS: move
DS: fast
XC: Alrigh7, I've moved.
DS: okay
DS: drooppp
DS: oohh
DS: look
DS: uussee thee carrd onn sommethinnng
DS: oor uh
DS: tuurrn thatt wheel
XC: Wha7's 7his big 7ube-like 7hing?
DS: I dunno
DS: tturrrn the levver
DS: tturrrn the levver
XC: Uh... no7hings happening.
DS: nno
DS: waiit
DS: you gooottta
DS: fllipp
DS: nno
DS: fucck
DS: fllipp it
DS: ahh
DS: fuck
DS: II'm jusst gonna breeeakk itt oppen
DS: I'll use thatt door
XC: I hope 7ha7 doesn'7 damage i7.
DS: uhhh
DS: oooppps
DS: uuhhh
DS: doo yoouu liikke doorwayys?
DS: oohh well
DS: II goot that ahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa
DS: THAT BURNNNSSS
DS: GGAAHHH
DS: FUCCKINNGG SEEESIIRREE BALL
DS: gggaaagg
DS: mmyy fuuckking eyyeballs
XC: Wha7?
DS: see thhattt seeezuurree ball?
XC: Yeah. I7's kind of pre77y, ac7ually.
DS: CANN YOOUU TONNE IIT DOOWNN
DS: FUCKCKING DARRK PUURPLE
DS: ANND BRIIGHT WHIITE
XC: Wha7 problem do you have wi7h dark purple?
DS: fucckk
DS: iitss thhee darrkk annnd liightt
DS: noottt thheee collorrss
XC: Uh, righ7. I 7hink I'm going 7o grab my ca7 before i7 7ries 7o kill 7his 7hing.
XC: Uh... now we have a ca7 seizure ball...
DS: whhhaaa
DS: welll
DS: ittss still ann eeyyyee soorre
DS: i'mm jusst goooing to putt a poosst it onn itt
XC: Alrigh7, wha7ever.
DS: soo
DS: yoouu gott a tuubbe
DS: whhat arre yoou dooiinng to 'dooo' withh itt?
XC: I don'7 know, bu7 i7 looks like i7 will fi7 qui7e well in 7he la7he.
DS: ookkay
DS: nnnotthinng happenned
XC: Maybe 7ha7 card goes in 7his slo7...
DS: goood jooobb
DS: iitt woorkks
XC: I7 carved 7he cylinder in7o... some7hing.
DS: well
DS: lookk att thhe lasst macchinne
XC: 7he 7o7em probably fi7s up here and
XC: HOLY SHI7
XC: A FUCKING PURPLE APPLE
DS: yyeeppp
DS: ahhhaha
XC: GOD FUCKING DAMN I7
DS: thhee gammee hass itt inn foor yoouu
DS: takke a bitteee

Llyn grabs the apple and throws it against the wall.

DS: I sweearr itt tasstses badd
DS: wwwoooowww
DS: annngger mannnaggemennt annyonne?
XC: Shu7 up.
DS: Uhh
DS: I hhatte too brrreakk badd newws
DS: loookk ouutsiidee
DS: annd uuhh
DS: youu briiesed the apple
XC: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
DS: miight need some smasshing
DS: more
XC: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
DS: smashing

Llyn takes a bite out of the unbruised side of the apple, swallows, gags, and throws the apple out the window.

DS: thatt woorks
DS: I thinkk yoou cann barrf noow

The apple smashes into the ground, shattering, and DS's screen is filled with a bright light.

DS: yyeess
DS: jjusst whhat I wannted to see
DS: NOONTHHINNG
DS: AHH
DS: idhaujfaege,uy,hjsage
DS: fehhyaugdkuaygkfu
DS: agragra
DS: rgarg
XC: ._.
DS: snh svdkjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjj
DS: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
DS: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjj
XC: CALM 7HE FUCK DOWN
DS: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
DS: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
--DS has entered the same key too many times--
XC: Oh god, he fell asleep on 7he keyboard.
--DS Logged out--

Well, that was a strange conversation.

[introvertedOptimist]

Mike couldn't stand the temptation no longer. He opened a navy blue box. Inside was a bunch of clothes. "Oops... That's my grandma's Christmas present."

> Confiscate evidence of your Christmas spoiling.

Mike grabbed the present and hid it in his closet on the top shelf. He opened the OTHER navy blue box, and found the SKURP client CD. He pulled up pesterchum, and began to message IE. He inserted the disc as well.

Pesterlog:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- laptopPsyche [LP] began pestering inaneEccentricities [IE] --
LP: hey IE
IE: yo lp, what it be?
LP: i couldn't handle waiting til christmas.
LP: so I opened the box anyway
IE: damnnn, alright
IE: so when is this thing gonna go down?
LP: well, i assume that DS and XC already started eons ago.
IE: eons of our earth years ago?
LP: no... just maybe an hour or minutes ago.
IE: oh...
IE: uh...so we can't join them?
IE: you said it was multiplayer...
LP: well when I asked DS if we could join sessions, he said "fuck no with you" and i assume that meant he didn't want me to join
IE: so we're not all playing this together?
IE: damn...
LP: he grossed me out by telling me what he was eating.
IE: oh yeah? why what's he eating?
LP: so i stopped chatting with him
LP: he was eating raw steak
LP: i hate raw things
IE: you eat carrots raw don't you?
LP: nah, i steam them
IE: I mean, you don't wash your earth food right?
IE: oh... um
IE: ok then
IE: I guess i can take you up on this game...
IE: I really want to just wait till mass o' christ to open this thing but ok
LP: i don't mean to disturb your plans. but you'll be running server.
LP: i think you'll be able to celebrate christmas still.
LP: i dont think I will though.
IE: why not?
IE: you a christmahanukon?
LP: no...
IE: haha, alright, then why not?
LP: because... i have a good feeling...
IE: you shouldn't have good feelings about bad things...
LP: i don't like that logic ):
IE: haha, fine, I'll leave that out of things that I talk to you about, haha
IE: still kinda weird you're thinking about not celebrating this year
LP: anyway, can you go ahead and run the game? my IP is 873.266.87.90
IE: ok, um...this might take a while
IE: there is so much tape, god...sooo much tapes
LP: the tree's up and everything but i have a feeling that before christmas even comes something will happen
IE: haha, ok, it's in and installin
IE: great loading screen, haha
IE: damn...ok let's get this finished with
LP: ok...
IE: you installed it already?
LP: yeah... talk to you when we're done
IE: huh?
-- laptopPsyche [LP] ceased pestering inaneEccentricities [IE] --

Mike noticed the game finished installing, and waited for IE to connect with him.
(OOC: Didn't feel like formatting this one. too lazy to do that.)

[cinchal]

-- inaneEccentricities [IE] began pestering laptopPsyche [LP] [2:43] --

show spoiler

hide spoiler

IE: ok so the thing's installed
IE: what was your IP?
LP: okay.
LP: 873.266.87.90
IE: ok connecting, this could take like a minute or something
IE: any idea what the goal of this thing is while I wait?
LP: nope.
LP: no info about it
LP: on the back of the box, there's no info. it's just a blank space.
IE: haha, ok
IE: ok, I'm in now
IE: uh...
IE: ok I'm gonna see if I can advance my character a little ways before I get back to you
LP: ?
LP: oh okay

-- inaneEccentricities [IE] ceased pestering laptopPsyche [LP] [2:47] --

ok let's get a hang of the controls here...
arrow keys are screen movement, my clicker-pointer-cursor can still click things.
so let's select my dude here...
hehe, he flips out when I click him! I could do this all day.

[introvertedOptimist]

Mike flipped the heck out and jumped around in an awkward craze. Mike managed to get on his computer and send at least one message to Jake.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- laptopPsyche [LP] began pestering inaneEccentricities [IE] [2:51] --
LP: Some random floating cursor is attacking me!

*Mike gets jabbed in the back*

LP: OW! IT HURTS!
-- laptopPsyche [LP] ceased pestering inaneEccentricities [IE] [2:54] --

[ChemIisan]

All I can say right now is....

Vlad snores peacefully.
*SSNOREE*

[laserdogbad]

Your name is Lazar Doge and your inside of your cave on your computer. Your online alius is flamingKitten and you have a very high hatred of cats for some reason. Lazar Doge is doing nothing important at the moment

[Rewilen]

Conversation with Vlad and ????.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- jovialVisionary [JV] began trolling demonicSpider [DS] --
JV: Hey! Guy! Wake up, guy!
DS: ughhh
DS: nooo
JV: You sleeping, guy?
DS: yyyesss
DS: lleaavvvee mmeee allonne
DS: fffiirrssttt ffllammingg
DS: thhenn yoouuu
DS: itttss sttill dayyy
JV: Woah that isn't any way to talk to someone!
DS: lllettt meee sleeeeeeeeep
JV: How wrude.
DS: ughhhh
DS: whyyy
DS: whhhyyy thhiiss timmme
JV: It isn't nice to sleep while someone's talkin' to ya, guy.
DS: I wass havvingg the greeaatttesst dreeaammm
JV: Pfft! We all have dwreams, guy. It couldn't have been THAT gwreat.
DS: LLiighghhtt wass gettinng itt onn withh Victoooriiiaaa Cellesss
JV: Uhhhhhhh.
DS: beesssttt kinnd oofff dreeaammmmsssssss
JV: That's uhhhhhhhhhh...
JV: Why would you say that?
DS: *snnnoooorrreee*
DS: lettt meee ssslleeeppp
JV: No, guy! Noooooooo!
DS: whhyyy
JV: No dwreams now, guy!
DS: iii wannntt goo goo bacck to wiirrtinngg
DS: innn myyy dreeeaaammms
DS: s
JV: Uuuuuuugh I guess I bettewr get on with it then...

And so you do...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Your name is CUNICU USAGII, you are possibly the most hyperactive Troll on Alternia.
You have recently come into contact with SOME REALLY WEIRD GUY who you plan on continuing to bug for a good while.
You have a variety of interests, these include HOPBEASTS and EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM, you also enjoy FLARPing.
You tend to Type a little like this. Which looks nowrmal at fiwrst but then this happens. :B
You really don't have much to do right now so bugging this guy is the best option.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

DS: waiiitt
DS: whhattt diidd youu neeed too assk abooouuuttt
DS: i'lll cleearr thiisss upp
DS: II'mm nott sleepy annymore
JV: I wanted to know...
JV: ...
JV: ...
DS: THANKLKKSS
DS: >>:(
JV: Ehehehehehehehe!
JV: Sowrwry, guy.
DS: ahhahhaa ha
DS: >:((
JV: Taaaaake aaaa joooooke guuuuuy.
JV: Jeeeeez.
DS: mmmmyyyy nnnammmesss nott guyyy\
JV: It could be!
DS: itt issn''ttt
JV: That ain't fun, guy.
JV: Pfft.
JV: Ahahahahaha!
JV: See what I did?
JV: Fun, guy?
JV: No?
DS: wooulllddd a guyyy wiithh mmyy naammme wannt to be callled guuy?
JV: Woah okay then, guy...
JV: Then what IS youwr name?
DS: daammmmnnn itt
DS: Imm nottt tellinnnggg
JV: Well fine then!
JV: Woah.
JV: Got off topic hewre!
DS: iii doonnn''tt whanntt youurr bunny fetisshhh
DS: sttallkiinng mee
JV: Bunny fetish?
DS: yesss
JV: Hopbeasts you mean.
DS: iittss all ovverrr youuu
DS: thhee carrottss, thhhee ww'ss
JV: Why would you even call them that its like blasphemy.
DS: thhee bucck toothhheddd smilleyss
JV: Cawrwrwrwrwrooooooottssssssss.......
JV: <((((< EHEHEHEHEHEHE.
DS: http://www.sweetvenus.org/images/200...nnymonster.jpg
DS: THTTTAAATT ISSS WHHAATTT\
JV: Woah hopbeasts don't look like that at all!
JV: And.
JV: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh.
DS: http://www.sugarsays.com/.a/6a00e54f...806b970b-800wi
JV: *Cunicu slams his head on the desk wrepeatedly at the stupidity of all of this*
JV: Just listen, OKAY?!
DS: whhattt
DS: whhattt
JV: Dwreams.
DS: II gott noothhinng aggainnsstt iitt
DS: iitts jjusst
DS: Ii donn'tt wannt yoou att myy hoouussse eiss alll
JV: You'wre a wreally wrude individual! >:B
DS: yesss
JV: This topic falls on deaf eawrs.
DS: ii bellivvee thhattss a siidee effecct
DS: off bbeeiinnnggg WOOKKENN UPPP
JV: Okay I am wreally getting out of my mind hewre jeez!
JV: When you dwream.
JV: Yeah?
DS: yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
JV: Have you even seen the city of gold?
JV: It is sooooooooooo beautiful.
DS: nnoo fuucckiinngg wayyy
DS: iitttss a gloobbe off purree fuckking good
DS: II hattee itt
JV: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HATE IT?!
JV: It is beautiful and evewrything!
DS: itttsss all shiinny
JV: I knowwwwwwww...
DS: II hattee shiinnyyy
JV: You awre awful and I should nevewr have talked to you. >:B

[laserdogbad]

Lazar doge pesters Vlad

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- demonicSpider [DS] began pestering flamingKitten [FK] at 06:56 --
FK: hello
FK: you there
DS: whaatttt
FK: h!
DS: ahh
FK: yes
FK: !t !s me
DS: iimm awwakke noww
DS: inn a loossee sennnssee offf theee worrrddd
FK: oh you were sleep!ng
FK: or !s sleep!ng such a th!ng
DS: yesssssssssssssssssss
DS: iii wasss dreeeammminnngg
FK: how can you tell
FK: maybe your ent!re know ex!stence !s a dream
DS: ooohhh ssssshuttttuuuppppp
FK: maybe your ex!stence !s the dream of a homeless guy
DS: funny
FK: okay
DS: annyyywayyyss
FK: yse
DS: iii haaavvveee sommmmeee trooooubbblllee
FK: w!th what
DS: oooppppeennn SBBBUURRBBB
DS: annnnddd keeep ittt thherrree
DS: thhhatttts alll foorrrr nowww
FK: ! thought !t was skurp
DS: cannnttaccttt meee innn 4444 mmiinnnuttesss
DS: (IC, not OOC. See you in a bit)
DS: Sorry, I'm away right now.
-- demonicSpider [DS] ceased pestering flamingKitten [FK] at 07:09 --

[Rewilen]

The conversation between Cunicu and Vlad continues...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

DS: yyeaahhh
DS: buutt yooouuu dooo
DS: whhyyyy
DS: evvverryy ddaayy ii tallk too yoouu
DS: puuree aggonny
DS: followss
JV: Evewry... Day?
DS: evvery day ii doonnt it happenns too, bbuutt thatts nooot the pooinnt\
DS: evvenn ifff thhiiss iis onnlyy ouurr 33rdd connversattioon
DS: suuuree
DS: I mmigghht bbe funny
JV: Huuuuuh.
DS: whhennn ii'mm not groggy
JV: Jeez, i'm not good with this timeline thing...
DS: whhaattt
DS: yyoouu sayyinnggg sommeeethiiinnng
JV: Oh, I don't wreally know. I saw it in a dwream once. Owr something...
JV: Okay, I think I shall have a nap now. I haven't slept in SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long.
DS: nnooo wayy
DS: II willll spamm yoouuu liikkee shhiitt
DS: shiitt
DS: shiitt
DS: shiitt
DS: shiitt
JV: No dooooon't!
DS: I will
DS: isss whatt yoouu gett
JV: You know whaaaaat?
DS: wwhhaattt
JV: Nap time. :B
DS: youu wannna appollogizzee firsst
DS: orr ellsee
JV: Owr else whaaaaaaaat?
DS: what a fucking weird IP you have
DS: no matter
DS: orr sllsee yoouuu donn''tt wannntt to knowww
JV: Oh jeez what awre you doing?!
DS: settinnnggg uppp
DS: youu wannna sayy sorry?
JV: Setting up what oh god oh god.
JV: Wait.
JV: You don't mean...
DS: fuuuuuuccckkk nooo
DS: iiimm alllreaddy playying
JV: AUGH.
DS: II donnt need no ranndoomm starrnnger traccing my IP too play wittthh my reallity
DS: waiitt noo
DS: fuuck
DS: iiigggnnooree thattt
JV: Oh but its wright theeeeewreeeee!
DS: nnnoooo itt isssn''t
DS: whatt thhee fuckk arre yooluu dooinnng
JV: Man I don't even know how to play this thing.
DS: noo reaall
DS: yy
JV: What does this do?
DS: geeettt awwayy fromm thee gammme
DS: ii'mm serrioos
JV: Oh hey, guy!
DS: hoowww thhee fuckk doess dsoommeonn withh thiss weak a firewall find my IP
DS: you know what?
DS: foorrggett itt
JV: Oh fuck.
DS: I'mm fucckked anywayyss
JV: Guy?
JV: Guy, you know youwr uh bathwroom?
JV: I just totalled it. Sowrwry, guy.
DS: whatt thhatt small roommm too the siddee
DS: whhatt
DS: aww mannn
DS: I gotta takke a shitt
JV: Guy thewre is watewr evewrywhewre I am sowrwry.
DS: whhyy woulld you doo thatt?
DS: >>::((
JV: I don't know what I'm doing!! :C
DS: okkayy
DS: look
DS: youu llookk att myy room
DS: DOONNT TOUUCHH A THINNG
JV: Why is it so daaaawrk?
DS: I'mm goiinng to move somme stuff
DS: thhennn
DS: You are gooinng to place the ittemms
DS: in that inventorry
DS: look
JV: Woah what does this do?
DS: you knnockk downn a wall you kill mee
DS: stopp
JV: *Cunicu begins having a wreally fun time with the silly things!*
DS: sttay awaayy for fiveee seconnd!
DS: noott myy fanficcs!
JV: Okaaaaaaaaaay jeeeeeeeeez!
DS: Agghhh
JV: Hahahaha! Come get them! :B
DS: ookkayy
DS: chheckk backk inn five minnutes please
JV: Uuuh. Okaaaaaaay.
JV: If you want youwr fanfics, they awre outside.
DS: FUUUUUUUUUUCCCKCKKKKK

[ChemIisan]

That's it. Your taking this shit in your own hands now. You decide to move all this crap in your basement to one side.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

DS: Okkkayy
DS: II movved all mmyy stufff
DS: too myy isddee oofff the roomm
DS: thhee othher arreaa
DS: iss YOOUURR siidee
DS: drooppp thee junnk
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Okay, hewre you go. Have this... Big thing with the tube and timewr.[/COLOR]
DS: okay
DS: *Drops peice of shit monitor on it*
DS: *POP*
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Oh boy.
JV: Woah.[/COLOR]
DS: Okayy
DS: Niicee
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: That is hawrd to look at. It is all glowy.[/COLOR]
DS: BRiighhtt redd annd whiitee
DS: gett myy sunnglassess
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Oh jeez. My eyes.[/COLOR]
DS: ohh look
DS: thhee timmers at 4:07
DS: 01
DS: okkayy
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Wow look at it go.
JV: Oh boy.[/COLOR]
DS: droopp thee resst
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: I can't wait fowr it to stop.[/COLOR]
DS: I'mm grabbing
DS: NO
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Then maybe something wreally cool happens![/COLOR]
DS: NOOTT MYY VIALLLS OVV BLOOD
DS: AHHH
DS: fucckkk
DS: why
DS: Youu
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: OH GOD I'M SOWRWRY.[/COLOR]
DS: yoouu threww inn the bluuee blood
DS: ackk
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: [/COLOR]
DS: thhatt tookk forevver to gett
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Why do you have vials of blood?[/COLOR]
DS: I hhadd to exxtracct itt all slooww annd evverythinng
DS: ohhh
DS: II doo chemmistryyy
DS: iinnn myy sparre timme
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Guy why is it taking so long fowr this timewr to count down? :B
JV: I want the suwrpwrise now. :/[/COLOR]
DS: lookk
DS: droopp the resstt pleasse
DS: thhankks
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Jeez. Thewre you go![/COLOR]
DS: okkayy
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: I made suwre thewre is a lot of space between them so they awren't all compact and stuuuuuff.[/COLOR]
DS: yoouu arre noww officcially a mmemmberr off teamm Blood
DS: goodd joobbb
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Yay![/COLOR]
DS: okayyy
DS: doonnn''tt hook upp to a nonmemmber off BLoood
DS: ottherr wisssee
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Oh noooo![/COLOR]
DS: therre mightt be struggle
DS: anndd figghhtsss
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Now i'm wowrwried. [/COLOR]
DS: donn''tt worry
DS: juussttt tallkkk too mee firrst
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Hey, guy? I don't want to wowrwry you owr anything...[/COLOR]
DS: weee onnllyy wannntt the stronng
DS: and thhee smarrt
DS: annd the quicckk
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Guy?[/COLOR]
DS: whhaattt
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: I don't think the timewr has a nice suwrpwrise.[/COLOR]
DS: whyy
DS: I'mm almosstt donne
DS: whattss wronnnggg
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Just look at the sky, guy. [/COLOR]
DS: whatt
DS: thhee skyy?
DS: Imm in a bassement!!
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: It's all... wred.[/COLOR]
DS: I'mm allergic to sunliight
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Oh jeez.[/COLOR]
DS: lloookkk
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Guy huwrwry up, guy![/COLOR]
DS: II juusttt goottaa
DS: ....
DS: sollvve thiiss puzzlle
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Oh fuck, sowrwry I fowrgot this thing.[/COLOR]
DS: I supposse I couullld
DS: Ohh
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Its a cawrd, thewre you go.[/COLOR]
DS: Thherree wee goo
DS: okkayy
DS: goot thatt
DS: annd
DS: wallla
DS: a nicee totem
DS: walk
DS: I have time
DS: looks like..
DS: 3 miutes
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: I suddenly undewrstand nothing about all this.[/COLOR]
DS: dodeedo
DS: oh look its....
DS: uhh
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Guy the sky is buwrning.[/COLOR]
DS: OH gog
DS: look away
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: Guy what is[/COLOR]
DS: look away
[COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]JV: oh[/COLOR]
DS: avvert your eyes

[Anonymous]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Your format is broken, please correct that before the rain of exploding grist begins.

[Rewilen]

Avert your eyes? What the heck is he talkin' about?
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
Oh well, better keep this going.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

JV: What awre you doing?
DS: Uhh
JV: Guy awre you hiding something?
DS: Guarrdinng a seeecrett
DS: loookk awway
DS: pleeassee
JV: Guy thewre is like a wreally big meteowr heading youwr way I am sewrious this is no time fowr games!!!
DS: LLOOOKKK AWWAYYY
JV: OH JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ.
DS: SOO II CANN SAVVEE MYYSELLF
JV: Okay fine!
DS: Are your eyes closed?
DS: *Waits for response*
JV: *Cunicu looks away fwrom the stupid guy and his stupid stuff!!* YES!
DS: okay
DS: you can look now
JV: Guy what did you do?

Man, what a weirdoh god everything's different.

[Anonymous]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

angelicDestruction [AD] began trolling xenocidalCake [XC] at [??:??]
AD: Hey, have I already talked to you at this point on the timelinE? I can't keep track of this time manipulation stuff anymorE.
XC: Wha7
XC: Who
XC: Who 7he hell are you?
AD: Apparently noT. Well, I guess that means some explanations have to take place before you block me for no reasoN.
XC: Why are you bo7hering me, I've never even seen your chumhandle before.
AD: Me and a group of my friends already completed our game of Sgrub, and now we're using our chat client to observe your gamE.
XC: Sgrub? Wha7 7he hell is 7hat?
XC: 7he game me and my friends are playing is called Sburb.
AD: The name seems to be different between our universeS.
AD: Naming discrepancies notwithstanding, a lot of discussion takes place later on your timelinE (One of them anywayS), You eventually start to figure the game out, and I'm not telling you any more to avoid any unfortunate paradoxes down the line.
XC: Um.
XC: Are you insane.
XC: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE.
XC: GOODBYE. GOOD FUCKING BYE.
--XC blocked AD--

[Rewilen]

This is complete bullshit, why is everything different?
It makes no sense.
Oh, oh no, oh fuck no.
Its him.
You guess you better... reply...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- paragonHunter [PH] began trolling jovialVisionary [JV] --
PH: hey d0ucheb@g
PH: h@vent sp0ken in @ while huh
PH: y0u g0nn@ reply
PH: y0u better fucking @nswer me
JV: Okay sowrwry!
JV: I'm hewre! What do you want? :c
PH: @re you enj0ying being @ peice of shit
JV: Is that all?
JV: I thought you would have something important to say. :/
JV: But no, just youwr usual cwrap.
PH: fuck y0u m@n
PH: fuck y0u @nd y0ur l@me quirk
JV: Why awre you even mad at me?
JV: You stawrted it.
PH: n0 i fucking did n0t
PH: it is @ll y0ur f@ult f0r her being like this
JV: She's just twrying to help us, Vulpes.
JV: You know that.
PH: help us h@h@h@ th@t is fucking hil@ri0us
PH: shes m0re ins@ne th@n i @m if she thinks she c@n help us
JV: She's twrying, leave hewr alone.
PH: @re y0u going to fucking st0p me cunicunt
PH: @re y0u
JV: Stop it, this is going too fawr!
PH: h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@h@ y0u c@nt d0 shit t0 st0p me
JV: I hope you enjoy getting hit in the face by a meteowr.
PH: n0 w@it wh@t?
-- jovialVisionary [JV] blocked paragonHunter [PH]--

What a douchebag.
Oh crap, you forgot about that guy!
Better keep bugging him.

[cinchal]

Messing around with your character a bit more. woop-dee-doo. This shitty guy doesn't do anything but freak when you touch him. Ugh, now LP's pestering you, who cares I'm playing his game, get out of here pop-up-pesterer. OK, looks like there's some crap in the menu to put down on our kid's pad. Got a cruxtruder thing...whatever let's put it somewhere useful to get his attention. You drop the big device in the center of his room. He's already got a computer to type on so you won't drop the uh...punch designix. Drop the alchemiter, that atleast has to be useful it's so big, next to the door, he should be able to climb over it to get out. And lastly dropping the totem lathe right in front of the window. The kid's freaking out at all this new stuff appearing around him...better check out our surroundings now...
(give me a shout if this all needs to be changed up due to room size)

[Rewilen]

This is still complete bullshit.
Look at this mess!
Now someone else is bothering you. Probably because its the end of the world and they want to say goodbye.
Not Vulpes though, he's fucking oblivious to the apocalypse that is happening outside his massive ego.
You hope he gets hit in the face by a giant fiery explosion.

Oh, its... Its her.
Guess you should... Say goodbye, you guess.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- fractalDivulger [FD] began trolling jovialVisionary [JV] --
FD: so......
JV: So...
FD: is this 6oodbye??????
JV: I think it is. Giant fiewry explosion to the face goodbye.
FD: no I mean...... cunicu, you have a way out right??????
JV: I do. I think. If someone connects with me.
FD: I have a way out too, it isn't the 6reatest way out but it works......
JV: You do? That's amazing! I'm happy fowr you. We will both be safe!
FD: not if it involves connectin6 with vulpes......
JV: Oh. I see how that is a bad way out now.
FD: yes,,,,,, i am sorry cunicu but he refuses to let you join us......
JV: I'll be fine! I alwready connected to some guy.
FD: who??????
FD: oh no,,,,,,, i''''''m sorry cunicu but i have to 6o......
JV: Oh, okay. Well I hope we can talk again some othewr time!
FD: 6ood luck cunicu......
JV: And you.
-- fractalDivulger [FD] ceased trolling jovialVisionary [JV] --

FD: <3

Well that's it, you're losing quite a few friends.
In the future you would stay in touch with them, but for now, there would be only silence.

God damn it, you forgot about that guy you connected with again!
It keeps happening!

[introvertedOptimist]

Mike repeatedly points at his laptop, seemingly inquiring that iE should look on the screen. God dammit. "What the hell are all these machines!?" He walks up to the cruxtruder and turns the wheel on the side. The lid jiggles as if something was trying to get out. He stands on the alchemeter and wonders, "Eh? What the hell is goin' on?"

[ChemIisan]

Vlad grabs a book and sits down. Your fanfics seem to have been disappeared. That's discoraging. Oh wait, why are you reading ths particular- *SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEE*