Pirates vs. Ninjas RPG: The Forum Adventure (Back for Real!)

[Kiroth6]

QOH> Twist the knife
Han D.> Rally your last reserves, Give her the stick!

[Bohandas]

>Giant Hammer: Topple over on QoH

[yonet-chan]

QoH: Knee him in the soft spot
Han2: Hit her on the head with the giant hammer ignoring the knife-in-back issue

[Bloddyredcommie]

QoH: Pull out Dictionary, show Han2 the true meaning of Fear.
Giant Hammer: Topple backwards onto QoH

[Kiroth6]

QoH: Pull out Dictionary, show Han2 the true meaning of Fear.

Okay, okay. Seconded.

[DairunCates]

>Han2: Hit her on the head with the giant hammer ignoring the knife-in-back issue

Han 2: Don't count me out ye-
QoH: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Han 2: What?
QoH: The meaning of fear. It's right in this dictionary.

>QoH: Pull out "Dictionary", show Han2 the true meaning of Fear.

Han 2: Huh? These pages are blank. Are you taking this fight seriously?
QoH: Oh. You looked. Good. I was worried I'd have to put some effort into this.
Han 2: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING AB-

>QoH: Twist the knife

QoH: Boo.
Han 2: IS THIS A GAME TO YOU?
QoH: Ah. You figured it out. Too bad I just won... or were you planning on letting that hammer crush poor Caroline?
Han 2: Huh?

>Giant Hammer: Topple backwards

Han 2: CAROLINE!
Caroline: Hey, I know you're busy and all, but could you possibly NOT accidentally kill me for coming to help you?

[Pharmacy]

>Han and Caroline: DISCUSS STRATEGY.

>Queen of Hearts: Gain an ungodly amount of levels in power.

[Bohandas]

>Han 2: Make Caroline prove that she's not one of the queen's illusions via a series of long-winded tests before deciding on an answer to her question...

[Andorxor]

>Could you move instead of standing on a place where a giant hammer is falling?

[Stevedore]

>Could you move instead of standing on a place where a giant hammer is falling?

Yeah, that illusion is pretty unconvincing. The real her is faster than that.

[yonet-chan]

Han2: Be suspicious of Caroline
QoH: Cackle madly just for the heck of it.

[DairunCates]

>Han2: Be suspicious of Caroline

Han 2:WHAT ARE YOU DOING, CAROLINE!? DODGE!
Caroline: I know. I was just reprimanding a certain careless assistant. It's not like this thing is falling particularly fast.
Han 2: WELL, CAN WE DO THIS LATER? I'm kinda busy fighting a fey-


QoH: Kinja? Yeah. You really should keep your eyes on the birdy, clone. You know. At times like this the old Queen would've cackled madly. Me? I prefer a more subdued laugh.

>QoH: Cackle madly just for the heck of it.

QoH: Ha. ha. h-


QoH: Ha?

>Han 2 and Caroline: DISCUSS STRATEGY.

Caroline: That's the problem with you gamblers. You never shut up.
Han 2: Wait. YOU'RE REAL? YOU FROZE HER?
Caroline: Yeah. You're not doing a very good job at buying us some time. Things are under control now though. Since she's frozen, we should have some time to come up with a plan. Do you have enough strength left to wield your hammer?
Han 2: Wait. I still have to be careful. This could be one of her traps. Can you prove you're real.

>Han 2: Make Caroline prove that she's not one of the queen's illusions via a series of long-winded tests before deciding on an answer to her question...

Caroline: Seriously? You're doing this now?
Han 2: Just tell me something she'd have no way of knowing.
Caroline: How about the fact that my idiot assistant promised not just five minutes ago that he'd come back alive and isn't doing a good job of that?
Han 2: Too recent. She could've been listening in, in secret.
Caroline: What? You want your birthday?
Han 2: I'm pretty sure she knows when I was cloned.
Caroline: Fine. When you got your Craftsman certification, your initial Trade name was going to be Handy Han. I personally insisted that they pick something better sounding, because I wasn't going to have an assistant with such a groan-worthy name.
Han 2: ...Okay. I believe you. Yes. I can still lift my Hammer. It'll be tough, and I'll feel it in the morning, but I've had worse.
Caroline: I know you have. Now. I have an idea...

[Xander]

Ask why you can't just smash her when she's frozen.

[goldedge2]

>Han D.: IT'S HAMMER TIME!

[yonet-chan]

Caroline: explain in a long and complicated manner that the plan is too hit QoH repetitively with a hammer.
Han2: obey all orders literally.
QoH: be mad. Be very very mad. Explain your rath to these unworthy beings by colliding them with the floor. Hard.

[DairunCates]

>Caroline: Explain in a long and complicated manner that the plan is too hit QoH repetitively with a hammer.

Han 2: Can't I just hit her while she's frozen?
Caroline: That's one way of looking at it, but that's providing a nice thick layer of protection for her at the moment. I want this to hurt as much as possible when she gets out.
Han 2: How do you plan on doing that?
Caroline: Put simply. I'm going to apply a high level of volatile thermodynamic solutions to the subject whilst you provide a proper level of kinematic force.
Han 2: Huh?
Caroline: I'm going to surround her in enough explosives to blow up a T-rex while you detonate them with your hammer.
Han 2: Oh.
Caroline: Now get ready. We only have a minute or so before she'll break out. I want you to pound her into a fine paste, my assistant.

>Han 2: IT'S HAMMER TIME!

Han 2: Sorry, Lady. I'm afraid you're gonna feel THIS one in the morning.


Han 2: Maybe you'll think about it next time before you mess with...

>Han 2: Obey all orders literally.

Han 2: Oh...

>QoH: Cackle madly just for the heck of it.

[Kiroth6]

Han D.> Realize the strangeness of the scenery.
Han D.> What. Did. You. Do?!

[bystander]

QoH: "by killing me, you have made me more powerful than you can even imagine"

EDIT: Wrong series? Sorry.

[Andorxor]

>Queen:You are moving around a lot for someone who was deadly wounded,shouldn't you be dead by now?

[Bohandas]

>QoH: Liquefy and then recongeal unharmed like the Terminator

[bystander]

LWT: Learn "Tap Dance", ultimate water-based implicitly sexual thud-landing move. Then find Jack.

[ProfessorLizzard]

Han D.>Quick jab upwards. Just in case.

[yonet-chan]

Han2: throw hammers all around the room in an attempt to locate QoH
Caroline: realize your plan failed and pull a strategic retreat
QoH: to warm yourself up set fire to the room

[DairunCates]

>QoH: Liquefy and then recongeal unharmed like the Terminator

QoH: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Han 2: Okay...


QoH: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Han 2: That's not good.

>Han 2: Throw hammers all around the room in an attempt to locate QoH

QoH: HAHAHAHAHAHA. You really are a fool, Clone. I thought EVEN YOU would have figured it out by now.
Han 2: Okay. Clearly an illusion. Let's just grab a few hammers and...


Han 2: Uh... huh. Alright. My wall of hammers is gone.

>Han 2: Realize the strangeness of the scenery.

Han 2:...And when did that get there?
QoH: You act surprised, clone. I told you everything was a feint.


>QoH:You are moving around a lot for someone who was deadly wounded,shouldn't you be dead by now?

Han 2: You know. You move around a lot for someone that's been mortally wounded.
QoH: Do I? How many times do you think I've ACTUALLY attacked you, Clone? You can count the daggers in you for that. How much do you think I've actually moved? Not much. How many times do you think you've hit me? I'll admit that hammer you entered with took me off guard. I've been keeping my reserves of strength well in check.
Han 2: You're still on a time limit.
QoH: Did you know that some ninjas have trained their bodies to regenerate minor wounds in battle? Life's Sunset can do it. So can I. Of course, it helps that the Last Illusion amplifies my body's own natural regeneration as well.
Han 2: So? I've fought ninjas like that before. You'd need a lot of time to fix up the wound you suffered with just that alone.
QoH: How about the time it took for a certain wannabe Craftsman to swing around his hammers recklessly at mere illusions and look "manly" while spouting pointless speeches about protecting his loved ones? Do you think that would be enough time?
Han 2: Wait... then.
QoH: Ironic, isn't it? All that effort to protect your loved ones and all your efforts just served to wear you out while I got myself back to full strength. Oh, I'm still feeling Sunset's technique, and I owe her one for that, but I have more than enough vigor left in me to do what I came for. Funny. If you had brought support, someone would've seen through my illusions by now, but one easily fooled Craftsman by himself never stood a chance. I really was weak too. If you had landed just one solid hit, I'd be down now.
Han 2: So it's all a trick huh?
QoH: Oh good. You're catching on. I already told you. Everything is a feint.
Han 2: In that case, you're probably not where I think you are...
QoH: Figure that one out all by yourself, did you? Of course, I'm not. I've been hiding somewhere safe the entire time. You'd know where I was if you had half a brain.
Han 2: In that case, don't count me out yet. I'm suddenly reminded of the wise words of a Wandering Minstrel I met once.
QoH: I swear, if you say Allonsy...


>Han 2: Quick jab upwards. Just in case.

Han 2: MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!
QoH: You're a clone. You don't even have a- OOF!


Han 2: Okay. I hit her! She's stunned! Finish her off, Caroline!

>Caroline: Realize your plan failed and pull a strategic retreat?

Han 2: Caroline?
QoH: The heart can be a fickle thing, can't it? Didn't I tell you, clone? I told you I'd show you the true meaning of fear. I wonder. How much more abuse can you REALLY take? I'd bet not much. Let's find out, shall we?




Alternate Scene:

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Han 2: That's not good. She's re-


Han 2: -forming? WHAT!?


Han 2: OH COME ON! THAT'S NOT EVEN FAIR!

[Andorxor]

>If one clone is not enough to fight her,make more clones.Split into hundreds on minihan clones