Pirates vs. Ninjas RPG: The Forum Adventure (Back for Real!)

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

>Scene: Shift.

[Neopie]

Not one specific one, but the entire big plan was that Xykon had made 2 doubles. Which one was him, of the three? Trick question, he's the one riding the invisible dragon above the city.

[Chookster]

yea its gotta be a shell game, why give you a one in seven chance to shoot her when she can give you none?

[Neopie]

Well, actually, there are 6 clones and 5 guns, so that would be 5/6 of a chance.
/nitpick

[DairunCates]

>RS: "I don't think you take risks either."

RS: I don't think you take risks either.
QoH: Hmm?
RS: I still have a 5 in 6 chance of picking the right one. There's no way you'd leave me those kinds of odds.
QoH: So?


>RS: Target the spot that appears empty,but which isn't realy empty because your weight sensors register something there.

RS: So. My weight sensors picked up a rather unusual anomaly hanging from the ceiling.
QoH: Huh. You can make those, can you?
RS: Since I was six.
QoH: You are your mother's son, aren't you?
RS: You won't get another chance to underestimate me.
QoH: Well, I think that's my cue to retreat.


Mia: You didn't answer my question.
QoH: Which one, Mia dear?
Mia: Who are you?
QoH: I'm the Queen of Hearts.
Mia: The Queen of Hearts wasn't a Feykinja.
QoH: Past tense, Mia. Past tense.


QoH: Okay kid. Why did you stop?
RS: Because I can't use the guns now.
QoH: Out of ammo?

>RS: Fill the room with poisonous gas.

RS: No. The guns don't work when I turn on the neurotoxin emitters. The formula I use is pretty flammable.
QoH: Ah.
RS: Impressed?
QoH: Nah. Mostly just annoyed. I was hoping to hold off having to use this.
RS: What?
QoH: But I can see I'll need my vision to be perfectly clear for this problem.


QoH: Ah. Much better. Let's make some science, shall we, kid?
Mia: YOU!
QoH: Oh good. You remembered. That'll make this conversation less awkward for me, now.

What do you do?

[Whimbrel]

Just the glasses isn't enough. You need the FULL WARDROBE CHANGE~!

[Kiroth6]

Just the glasses isn't enough. You need the FULL WARDROBE CHANGE~!

Seconded! Become the Queen of Black Hearts and turn the tables accordingly.

[One With Nothing]

CC: Show this amateur how shoddy his neurotoxin emitters actually are, then do ALL the tests to hammer the point home.

[DairunCates]

>Mina Hart: Just the glasses isn't enough. You need the FULL WARDROBE CHANGE~!

QoH: Here. Maybe this will make you a bit more comfortable. Admittedly, I don't like wasting my energy on something as ridiculous as an illusion to look like my normal self, but I'm willing to make an exception for an old friends.
Mia: Why? How? What?
QoH: I figured you'd have some questions. Unfortunately, I'll need to get out this situation before I can answer any of them. Now. Let's see...


QoH: Some deactivated turrents and a ceiling trap door...


QoH: A vent pouring flammable gas...



QoH: A sealed exit door and a likely hard to destroy wall. Probably can't just hope to blow the door off...

>QoH: Turn the tables accordingly.

QoH: ...But I think I have enough ingredients to work my magic. Should I make the first move or would you do me the honors, kid?
RS: You're bluffing again.
QoH: Try me.

How will you escape from this room?

[Andorxor]

>You don't,at least not with your hair intact.Every Queen of Hearts must be bald.

[Whimbrel]

Two ideas
>Try to exit the way you entered: The trap door
>Get on the ceiling and activate the turrets to fire at the door, hopefully blowing it up (But not blowing you up)

[Stevedore]

EE the door for delicious pudding and eat your way out. (Unless alchemy doesn't work like that, in which case grab the ceiling, subvert the turrets, and blast through the trapdoor you fell through.)

[snoomanwaff]

>pull out a latern (of all things) and throw it at the door, the flammable gas should take care of the rest when the glass breaks.

[One With Nothing]

>You are a Gambler, and one of the highest ranked ones at that. You didn't get to where you are today through fair play and honor. Just treat this like any other game where the stakes are high and victory is slim: cheat. Immortality Equation plus some Liquid Thunder should be enough to blast your way out (or at least make things hard for the traitors upstairs) without singeing a hair on your head. (Don't want to look like the one you replaced, after all...)

[DairunCates]

>QoH: Immortality Equation plus some Liquid Thunder should be enough to blast your way out.

As a ninja, there are just some moves you can't learn. Although, you SHOULD'VE asked one of your minions to brew one of these up for you before you attacked that group. You make a mental note of your minor failure and change your plan accordingly.


QoH: Hmm. I know you're probably not dumb enough to give me the ability to just blast the door down, but that doesn't matter. It's time to blow this joint.

>QoH: Subvert the turrets

QoH: All I need...

>QoH: Blast through the trapdoor you fell through.

QoH: ...is a little spark of inspiration.

>QoH: Try to exit the way you entered: The trap door

QoH: Word of advice kid. Don't keep your trap doors open.
RS: What makes you think I didn't leave it open so you'd think there was an exit.
QoH: Oh. I know you did. You're Mia's son, aren't you? I just needed to get close enough and get a line of sight though.
RS: What?
QoH: Wanna see a trick?

>QoH: Cheat.



QoH: Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Seriously, it's like you've never heard of a ninja that can teleport, kid. Give up. Now, Mia, my friend. Where was I? I have so much to tell you now that I know you're here.

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

>Robot: Realize your programming, for some unfathomable reason, prevents you from fighting a girl.
>Robot: Bear hug intruder to death.

...what? Hugs are like the exact opposite of fighting.

[Andorxor]

>Inform her that she is still in the trap and that the trap door was just a distraction to extract LS,to prevent a hostage situation

[Pharmacy]

>QoH: Kill the robot with the power of COOTIES.

[goggleman64]

> RS: Begin to scream in fear.

> Robot: Destroy all humans.

[Planet of the Japes]

Robot: Contemplate the meaning of your existence.

[Torquemadras Trump]

> Robot: Alarm everyone in the vicinity of danger and wave your arms around in a ridiculous manner, like all good robots should.

[DairunCates]

Hey guys. I've had some eye issues the past couple of days and needed to stay away from the computer. I was hoping to get an update done tonight, because I'm heading off to Animefest tomorrow, but I didn't quite get it done. Just letting you guys know what's up so you don't think I've just completely disappeared. Anyway, I should have an update Monday when I get back.

Also, nice to see you back Planet of the Japes. Where have you been?

[Shadow Phoenix]

>Fake QoH : give us a hint of who you are.

[DairunCates]

>Fake QoH : Give us a hint of who you are.

Mia: Mina... How?
QoH: Like the outfit? Don't worry. You don't have to call me Queen if you don't want to. We're old friends. Still, I think it suits me a lot better than my predecessor. She was such a fool. Leaving all the paperwork and details to her second-in-command. Priming me to be her successor and teaching me all her secrets. Of course, she never intended to hand the position over to me. She assumed she'd never be beat. She kept me as a formality and picked what she thought was the weakest member of her army. She pretended that she saw something special in me to try and fool me. I was a toy to her; a plaything. All those years pretending to be meek and a push-over just so she'd let her guard down. It was sickening. I almost had her finished off myself, but hey, letting most of security have a day off at the exact right time for a jilted lover to do the job works just as well.
Mia: Then you were...
QoH: ...helping Jack the whole time? Obviously. Jack's smart enough to recognize an opening when he sees one. From there, it was just a matter of removing myself from the fight and waiting for the right opportunity to strike. I'd have prefer Jack killed her, of course, but after Ace of Spades found her... Well, he didn't exactly like the idea of one of the Flush getting humiliated so badly. A bald Queen hardly inspired confidence. I wonder if Jack even knew the consequences of his actions deep down and was using it as a way around his promise to that woman. I don't know if Ace of Spades had her killed, but I can't imagine Ace letting one of the Flush leave the Guild alive, can you?
Mia: ...but why?
QoH: To become Queen, of course. We always talked about how much better we could make the Guild, Mia. If only one of us had the power to make those changes. Honestly, I didn't know you'd be here when I came, but now that I found you, I'd like you to help me make that dream come true.
Mia: Mina, I...
QoH: I promise not to hurt any more of your family or loved ones too. Think about it. Together, we could make the Guild the organization it was meant to be. One that could actually bring about social change instead of being crushed under its own corrupt weight. You could be at the forefront of a new order; a beautiful new world.
RS: Mom. Don't listen to her. She's just lying to get us to let our guard down.
QoH: Would telling you where Jack is be a good enough act of faith to get you to trust me?
Mia: Well...

> Robot: Alarm everyone in the vicinity of danger and wave your arms around in a ridiculous manner, like all good robots should.

Robot: DANGER! DANGER! AN INTRUDER IS IN THE BASE! DANGER! DANGER!
QoH: Seriously? This is your security? Is this a joke?
Robot: ALL INTRUDERS WILL BE EXTERMINATED!
QoH: Why?

>Robot: Contemplate the meaning of your existence.

Robot: ... Because... Because... Robot does not know. Robot does only as commanded. Robot never consider Robot's feelings. Why kill? Why maim? For fun? For enjoyment of dismemberment of meat bags? Why?
QoH: It's very confusing, isn't it?

>Robot: Destroy all humans.

Robot: AFFIRMATIVE! ROBOT IS CONFUSED! WHO IS ROBOT'S ENEMY? SOLUTION! ELIMINATE ALL HUMANS WITH LOVE! ELIMINATE ALL HUMANS WITH LOVE! INITIATING BEAR HUG OF DEATH MANEUVER!
QoH: Word of advice, Kid. Don't make your robots capable of feeling existential dread. I'll take care of this one for free.

>QoH: Kill the robot with the power of COOTIES.

Robot: ERROR!

>Inform her that she is still in the trap and that the trap door was just a distraction to extract LS,to prevent a hostage situation.

Mia: Mina... How?
QoH: Not the first time I've romantically confused an automaton. Must be my natural charm. Now. Shall I tell you where Jack is now?
Mia: Then you were...
QoH: Telling the truth? Of course. Why would I lie to an old friend?
Mia: ...but Why?
QoH: I need someone I know I can trust. I need someone that can keep up with me. I can think of no one that would fill the position better than you. Sunset would also be a great soldier too. Connections, brains, beauty. She'd be an incredibly powerful pawn. Think of it. With all that talent, we could take down the rest of the Flush from the inside for good and put our own people in position.
Mia: Mina, I...
QoH: Join me, Mia. Please.
RS: Mom. Don't listen to her. She's just lying to get us to let our guard down.
QoH: Shut your mouth, Kid. This isn't your... Wait... Didn't you already say that?
Mia: Well...
QoH: You have this on a loop to go off when I speak directly into whatever system you have set up, don't you?
Mia: Mina... How?
QoH: Which means you and the kid left the control room... Probably to look for Jack... and the whole crappy security was a distraction from...

> RS: Begin to scream in fear.

QoH: The kid trying to drag Life's Sunset away right behind me.
RS: Come on, Sunset. Wake up. I can't pull you all by myself.
QoH: Well... You've officially made me angry kid. No more cute games. Clearly, you need to be taught a lesson. You may want to start crying. Might be your last chance.
RS: Uh... Truce?
QoH: Tell you what. I'll only break two limbs if you drop the girl now.
RS: I... I'm not afraid of you.
QoH: Barring the fact that you obviously are, what makes you think I care? Why protect someone who means nothing to you?
RS: My dad always says...
QoH: Your dad is a fool that your mother is too good for. His only accomplishment is producing one offspring with something resembling a brain. He was always the fool of their group and never amounted to more than a glorified meat shield and distraction. All the power and skill in the world is nothing if you're not smart enough to use it. That's your father. All talent and no planning. He couldn't take me, and you DEFINITELY can't.
RS: Y-You think you can take me with a home turf advantage with that wound?
QoH: Of course. I would've escaped already if I didn't? I already showed you I can teleport. I may need to rest a bit after this, but I still have plenty of tricks up my sleeve. How about I show you what I can REALLY do? How about I show you what REAL fear is?


You are the Queen of Hearts. You are no longer amused. What do you do?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

*sigh* My 1100th panel is a woman kissing a robot. I should time these better.

[Kiroth6]

RS: Dodge and draw your gun to defend yourself and LS
QoH: Fake him out and disable his arm
RS: Use that last ditch escape plan you swore never to use.
QoH: Destroy his Last Illusion of hope