Pirates vs. Ninjas RPG: The Forum Adventure (Back for Real!)

[bystander]

LWT: Realize Jack is behind the tree.
LS: Get up.
QoH: Die already.
Caroline: Not really be dead. Come in, being awesome.

[DairunCates]

>????: Will bribes work?

????: Actually, not take you, really. I wanted to strike up a deal. I want to know where the Wanderer you kidnapped is.
QoH: I doubt there's anything you have that I could want. Besides, what does he matter to you?
????: If you tell me where he is, I'll let you leave. No questions asked.
QoH: Somebody IS sure of theirself.
????: You're surely worn down from that fight with that Clone. You can't possibly last any longer.
QoH: Oh, I have my ways of staying up. I'll admit that that your sister made things harder for me than I'd like with a petty little trick of hers, but that Craftsman fool actually gave me enough time to re-energize myself.
????: How? How is that possible!?
QoH: I have my ways.
????: Sounds like basic Feykinja tricks. I've dealt with those before just fine.
QoH: Not just any Feykinja tricks. Special ones of my own design. I wouldn't expect you to understand the complexity of it, but it's a real doozy. A real Heart-Breaker.
????: Wow... You really are very powerful then.
QoH: Glad to see SOMEONE around here respects my talent. Still, I won't leave here until I've taken Life's Sunset.
????: How about me instead then?
QoH: What?
????: Me for my sister's boss. I should be a pretty good replacement.
QoH: I suppose I could do almost as much with a copy. Still. Why would you sacrifice yourself for a man you've never even met?
????: I'd never expect you to understand.
QoH: How about no, then?
????: WHAT!?


QoH: What kind of fool do you take me for? This is an obvious trap. There's no way there's not some plan here. I was just stalling to regain a little more strength back after what that Craftsman did with his uppercut and breaking my arm. I can't believe you're so fool-

>????: Use your Ninjutsu: Ghost Nappa!

QoH: -ish? Oh hey. Pretty clever. Catch me mid-monologue and pop an illusion. Too bad for you, I know this trick all too well.

>????: Disappear

QoH: ...And how you're RIGHT behind me.

>LS: Get up

LS: Wrong, yet again! I'm not a coward like you. I have no problems staying right where I am.



LS: Oh, and thanks. I learned plenty from our talk about how to beat you including that my technique hasn't worn off yet. Amazing how much you dramatic types will gives away your weaknesses and secrets when given enough time to talk.
QoH: Sunset? What about the sedative? How did you get this fast? What's with the outfit?
LS: You're not the only one with a few tricks up your sleeve.
QoH: Do you really think that will help you? I'm more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
LS: More powerful than I can imagine? Please. My Feykina master used to use the Last Illusion on me DAILY. You may be better than me, but you're currently at a disadvantage. You're still under the influences of my attack and you wouldn't DARE go all out on your precious apprentice, would you?
QoH: Even so, you underestimate me, Sunset.
LS: You and your dirty tricks. I'm not impressed.
QoH: What? Too good for the little Hitinja Princess? Please. You and I are exactly the same deep down.

>LS: Take her out quick with powerful assassination technique.

LS: I AM NOT!


LS: LIKE!


LS: YOU!


LS: Now tell me where Jack is or I get REALLY serious.
QoH: Ow. That actually hurt.
LS: What's the matter, Queenie? Getting tired? Need your blankie?
QoH: No. Rethinking my strategy.

>QoH: Where did Caroline go?

That woman the Craftsman saw was never in here. That was just part of your signature technique. However, that gives you a BRILLIANT idea.

LS: Uh... huh... Interesting strategy. I just did this trick.

>QoH: This is taking far too long. Do the both of you a favor and cut to the chase.

QoH: This is a bit different.
LS: Oh. Amazing. You changed the background.
LWT: That's really weird, huh?
LS: LAVERNE! What are you doing here?
LWT: Uh hey, Ninja girl. Look. I tried looking really hard for the boss, but I couldn't find him. I even looked behind this REALLY suspicious tree too. So, I came to help you, instead.
LS: Uh huh. And you just expect me to believe you dropped in conveniently in the middle of a fight with a Feykinja?
LWT: Sounds like the kind of thing I'd do.
LS: Say something only Laverne would say.
LWT: Like what?
LS: Just talk about anything. Tell me a secret only you would know.
LWT: Well, I don't like to talk about it, but I used to be REALLY afraid of Eye Patches. All the kids used to make fun of me for it.
LS: SOMETHING I WOULD KNOW TOO, LAVERNE!
LWT: Oh, uh... The Boss wears glasses.
LS: Something the Queen of Hearts WOULDN'T know.
LWT: My art model has changed the least of our party since we started journeying together.
LS: Yeah... You're Laverne alright.

[Shadow Phoenix]

Look for the mysterious whiteness surrounding you. Or let the background come back !

[Andorxor]

>LS:Shatter the background

[Fengar]

>LWT: Thud the background.

[Razorhead]

QoH: Plot your revenge.

[Kiroth6]

LS: Ask Laverne how he got here.

[DairunCates]

Quick update before my meeting.

>LS: Ask Laverne how he got here.

LS: Laverne. How did you even get here anyway? I'm pretty sure this was a sealed forge until a minute ago, and I appear to be currently trapped in an alternate reality created by the Queen's powers.
LWT: I'm not actually sure. I think you summoned me with your brain.
LS: Laverne. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard from you this hour.
LWT: Well, I just kinda ended up in this floating void. I've been trying to pound on the background to get it to go away, but I can't touch it.
LS: Of course you can't, Laverne. It's part of the illusion. It's intangible.
LWT: Then why don't we just beat up the one doing the illusion? She's in here, right?
LS: Illusions don't always work that way, Laverne. You have to find the source and disprove it. For all I know, until I break it, any damage I do manage to do could just be part of the illusion. This is high level stuff too. She could probably just jump out and stab me whenever she wants at this rate.
LWT: Well, why doesn't she?
LS: Probably because she wants me as an apprentice. She's probably taking this time to regenerate and plan her next move. Still, this makes no sense.
QoH: What's the matter, Sunset? Confused? Don't worry about me. You're falling right into my trap.
LS: She's trying to goad me into doing something.
LWT: You know... My mother used to say, "don't think too hard, Laverne."
LS: Why am I not surprised?

[Pharmacy]

>The situation is tense. The suspicions murderously vile...there is only one solution.

BREAK INTO SONG AND DANCE

[swampmist1142]

>The situation is tense. The suspicions murderously vile...there is only one solution.

BREAK INTO SONG AND DANCE

seconded

[Kiroth6]

Disprove this reality by doing the one thing you would never do: Make out with Laverne.

[One With Nothing]

Laverne: Mother knows best. Stop thinking. Shouldn't be too hard.

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

Laverne: Mother knows best. Stop thinking. Shouldn't be too hard.

>Life's Sunset: After a bit of pause, do the same.

[DairunCates]

LWT: Still. Why not? If she's trying to goad you into doing something why not do something you wouldn't do either way? Confuse her back.
LS: That's stupid. I can't just start acting non-sequitor like you because...
LWT: Because?
LS: Oh god...
LWT: What?
LS: I can't think of a legitimate reason not to try in this case.
LWT: THEN LET'S ROCK!

>BREAK INTO SONG AND DANCE

Despite all logic, you decide to rock out with a Laverne with a popular Rokinja power song. You belt out your soul. It doesn't seem to help, but for just a moment, as much as you hate to admit it, you're having fun. It's almost like...

>LS: Disprove this reality by doing the one thing you would never do. Make out with Laverne.

WHAT!? NO! You would ABSOLUTELY NEVER... Then again... Maybe Laverne's right about doing something unexpected. As much as you hate to admit it, he does seem like the kind of guy that can see right through a problem when everyone else is over-thinking it.

Maybe just this once, you can trust him.

LS: Laverne. Kiss me.


LWT: WHAT!?
LS: Don't get the wrong idea. I just think you may be right. I have to think unexpected here, and I think it's the one thing that the Queen would never expect us to do. At the very least, I should be able to get a reaction and hint to how to get out of here.
LWT: But...
LS: It's not a big deal. Now, stop thinking and just pucker up, you fool. THAT is an order!
LWT: But I... You...

>Laverne: Stop thinking. Shouldn't be too hard.

Well, mother DOES know best.

>LS: After a bit of pause, do the same.

Wait a second. Stop thinking so hard? You never could stop, could you?

Of course, the Queen would know you'd over-think things. Anyone would in this scenario, but to what end? Why would she give you an illusion that you couldn't break but knew was an illusion. Feykinja are supposed to hide their tricks. This one is ridiculously obvious. She's not an amateur, and she doesn't take risks. She wouldn't show you her signature trick unless she was sure you couldn't beat it. The source of this illusion would have to be something she'd know you could never disprove on your own.

...And that craftsman was going crazy when you entered the room, like he was under the effects of a powerful illusion, but you couldn't see anything. If that's true though, and this is the same trick...

None of this adds up at all though. As a matter of fact, the only thing that seems to make sense here is Laverne.

Wait... What did he say about how he got here...?

Oh Daruma.

You think you can beat this illusion by asking the right question.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Where are we?

[Shadow Phoenix]

Darn, you missed your moment, Laverne !
Unless you're not Laverne...
How did we met again "Laverne" ?

[Xander]

Laverne... Where are we?

[DairunCates]

>LS: "How did we met again 'Laverne'?"

LS: Hey Laverne. Do you remember when we first met?
QoH: You're running in circles, Sunset.
LWT: Of course, Ninja girl. You were kidnapped by pirates and the boss rescued you and tied you up at the bottom of the ship.
LS: Huh. I was certain that you were the only part of this illusion that didn't make sense, but I guess you are the real Laverne then, huh?
LWT: Nope.

>LS: Where are we?

LS: What?
LWT: I'm not the real Laverne. I'm an Illusion.
LS: WHAT!?
QoH: WHAT!?
LWT: I'm a manifestation created by your own thoughts and memories of the person you most wanted to see at this moment. I'm made to be a perfect simulation of Laverne as you see him; an unbreakable illusion.
QoH: Stop talking. Sunset, he's babbling.
LS: Then why would you tell me that?
LWT: Your mind is actively trying to trick you. I have to be Laverne exactly as you believe him to be so that you can never see through the trick. You believe the real Laverne would know he's an illusion through some means or another. You also believe I can't keep a secret because I'm an idiot. You're probably right. I am a bit ridiculous, huh?
QoH: What kind of freaks of nature do you hang out with, Sunset!?
LWT: Sorry. I didn't mean to be a bother, Ninja girl. I've wasted your time, huh?
LS: No, Laverne. It's fine. So really... You're me. You're my feelings about Laverne.
LWT: I guess that's one way of putting it. I don't really understand it myself.
LS: Of course, you wouldn't.
LWT: Well, did I help?
LS: Plenty, Laverne. I think I know how to get out now. I just need to ask you... Where are we, really?
LWT: We've been in your own mind the entire time.

>LS: Shatter the background

QoH: I can't even believe what I just saw. I don't know whether to be impressed or disappointed in your inability to handle your personal life, Sunset.
LS: I hope you are currently running away, Queenie, because when I find you, I am going stick my fukidake so far up your ashi that you'll be fuyu jinchi for weeks.
QoH: YOU'RE mad!? You're not the person whose ultimate technique was just beaten because a teenage ninja girl can't get her feelings for her freak of nature boyfriend straight. How do you think I feel?

[Shadow Phoenix]

There are setbacks and there are failures, time to rethink this another time, QoH !

LS : feel really awkward next time you meet laverne

[Kiroth6]

LS: Realize that all that may have been recorded.
QoH: Cut your losses. Feel free to vent your displeasure on your way out.

[Bloddyredcommie]

QoH: Cut your losses and run. You can always find another opportunity to recruit her later.

Especially now that you know who she values most...

[Andorxor]

>Your win could be a illusion too.They only we to know if you realy won against a feyninja is when he doesn't appears at your deathbed to gloat about that your whole life was a illusion.

[DairunCates]

>QoH: Cut your losses. Feel free to vent your displeasure on your way out.

LS: B-B-B-Boyfriend?
QoH: Either way, Sunset. Good job. You've forced me into a retreat. Allow me to give you a parting gift.



QoH: ACK!
LS: Laverne? Really? You think Laverne is my...? Wait, what?


QoH: Who dares attack the Quee-
Captain: The Queen of Hearts? Big Whoop. I've fought Queens and Kings of the Sea in my day. No dressed up tart Feykinja is gonna impress me.
QoH: Do you REALLY think you alone are a match for me?
Captain: Nope.
LS: Do I know you, Miss?


QoH: ARGH!
Captain: ...But I'm not alone.


LS: Uh... I'm really confused here. Who are you guys?
Doctor: All in good time. But first, that one's going down.
QoH: Bullets and Scalpels are nothing to me.


QoH: ACK!


Lucky: How about a little Blind Luck?
QoH: Did I kick your dogs or something? I don't even know you people.
Captain: You attack one of us, you attack all of us.
QoH: WHAT!? Sunset?
Caroline: Nope.

>Caroline: Not really be dead. Come in, being awesome.

Caroline: Hey guys. Count me in one this one, it's personal.
LS: SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON TO ME!
Doctor: We're friends of a friend.
Caroline: Also, you saved my assistant.


Han 2: ...And we BOTH owe you for that.
LS: How are you healed already!?
Caroline: That? Basic Alchemy. Learned it when I was five.
LS: Then how do you patch up the jacket?
Han 2: Craftsman. Duh.
LS: But... But HOW DID YOU ALL GET HERE!?
Mia: That would be because of me, Sunset.


Mia: Sorry, I'm late. Help is so hard to find when you need it. Looks like you held up just fine though.
QoH: Ah. So this is what you were up to. Well played, Mia. Good to see you haven't lost your edge.
Mia: I haven't spent the last 13 years lying around, Mina. I've been working on some things of my own. Now, tell us where Jack is or every last one of my friends here shows you why they're our local Feykinja fighting experts.
QoH: They're all experts at fighting Feykinja?
Captain: Guilty.
Lucky: You'd be my 23rd. Amazing how many Feykinja are only good at effecting sight.
Doctor: Actually, I'm more of an academic, but sure.
QoH: I see. Fine. If someone had to beat me, I'm glad it's you Mia. Let me leave, and you have a deal.
Mia: Deal.
QoH: Jack's with a group of Gamblers about a mile northeast of here. Just tell them "The Queen Lives", and they'll stand down. You should have enough time for someone to go get him.
Mia: Can I trust you?
QoH: Please, Mia. You're the one person I'd never lie to.
Mia: Then leave here and NEVER return to this forest.
QoH: *sigh* Fine. Do write sometime though. Well then, should I just let myself out?
Mia: Oh no. I have a SPECIAL exit for you.


Mia: Roderick, honey. Can you hear me?
RS: Yes, mom.
Mia: Coast is clear. Fire when ready.
QoH: WHAT!? MIA, YOU-
Lucky: Later, alligator.
Captain: Have a nice trip.
Mia: Oh, and Mina? If you ever threaten my family again, I will see to it personally that you can never step into a civilized town ever again.




Speaker: *ding dong* Thank you for visiting Mann. Co. Laboratories. Have a nice day.

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By the way, would anyone be interested in a little bit of drawing participation for the next dozen or so updates? It involves my need for designs for a LOT of unique background NPCs.

[Kiroth6]

LS: Just be relieved that its all over. Don't even think about the fact that they all probably witnessed you making out with the air.

[Shadow Phoenix]

Okay, check on the people here and decide who's gonna rescue Jack.