Blast Out The Head-Canon Thread!?

[invisibleTerrarium]

Am I the only one who thinks some of the trolls sound at least somewhat like aliens?

Karkat-Low and really, really gravelly.
Terezi-Kinda weird and scratchy.
Sollux-high, in his throat, and with a really bad lithp.
uu-Low, scratchy.

Normal voices:
Eridan-Speaks with a constant faux British accent, pronounces v's as w's, and w's as "ww", like "wwhatewer."
Feferi-high, constantly SHOUTING IN EXCITEMENT!!!!!
Nepeta-even higher!
Aradia-low, hollow. Less hollow as god tier. As a robot, hollow and metallic, scratchier.
Tavros-High, wavering. Stutters occasionally.
Kanaya-completely normal. Pauses a bit after every word.
Vriska-normal, draaaaaaaaws out syllables for eight seconds, enunciATES the sound of EIGHT.
Equius-Extremely deep.
Gamzee-rough, never actually honks a horn, just says "honk."
Aranea-places a bit of emphasis on the "b" sound.
Meenah-Stereotypical black slang, gratuitous fish puns, annoying throaty voice.

[invisibleTerrarium]

Am I the only one who thinks some of the trolls sound at least somewhat like aliens?

Karkat-Low and really, really gravelly.
Terezi-Kinda weird and scratchy.
Sollux-high, in his throat, and with a really bad lithp.
uu-Low, scratchy.

Normal voices:
Eridan-Speaks with a constant faux British accent, pronounces v's as w's, and w's as "ww", like "wwhatewer."
Feferi-high, constantly SHOUTING IN EXCITEMENT!!!!!
Nepeta-even higher!
Aradia-low, hollow. Less hollow as god tier. As a robot, hollow and metallic, scratchier.
Tavros-High, wavering. Stutters occasionally.
Kanaya-completely normal. Pauses a bit after every word.
Vriska-normal, draaaaaaaaws out syllables for eight seconds, enunciATES the sound of EIGHT.
Equius-Extremely deep.
Gamzee-rough, never actually honks a horn, just says "honk."
Aranea-places a bit of emphasis on the "b" sound.
Meenah-Stereotypical black slang, gratuitous fish puns, annoying throaty voice.

[smograth]

Tavros's blood tastes like honey.

I... uh... yeah........
IN MY DEFENSE

It was after seeing this

show spoiler

hide spoiler

that's totally honey right there
Not real honey
The Honey Nut Cheerios ad and box honey
TOO GOLDEN TO EXIST

[Kaleb702]

My head-canon voices are hilarious:
Aradiabots are GLaDOS.
John is Tobuscus if he was a child.
Terezi is the Wicked Witch of the West.
Nepeta is a stereotypical anime cat-girl.
All exiles are unintelligible.

Other than that I have no head-canons.

[invisibleTerrarium]

My other headcanon besides the voices is that all trolls have some sort of weird powers, but not all of them have figured out how to use them. The trolls we know are just lucky that a bunch of them know how. Headcanon powerz:

Karkat-mind reading, something to do with vampires
Gamzee-Shown. (CHUCKLEVOODOOZ.)
Terezi-shown.
Sollux-Hmm, I really wonder.
Aradia- Ditto.
Equius-Duh.
Vriska-Again, duh.
Eridan-I dunno. Magic hair powers? Douchebag powers? SCIENCE POWERS? Naw he's totally gonna have something related to magic. And he will be pissed off. It's always funny when something happens to Eridan.
Feferi-healing of wounds on self, possibly others.
Tavros-shown.
Nepeta-Aranea's powers, only with the bonus of being able to understand why they are feeling that way.
Kanaya-besides being a vampire, able to control enemies' willpower. Random, I know.

Super stupid, probably, but wwhatevver.

[UpsidePickle]

I have... the stupidest headcanon.

All carapacians HAVE BRITISH ACCENTS.

NOW I CAN'T LISTEN TO ORLANDO BLOOM WITHOUT THINKING OF WV. HELP.

[trulyElse]

Aranea = Maven from team N.Chick.

Carapacian + Trollian (language) are spelled like english, but that's only a coincidence. Neither language sounds anything like english, and the relations between the written and spoken forms is flimsy-at-best for them.
Both languages sound similar enough for the trolls + carapacians to make out at-least some of the details each other are saying.
The only reason Dave + Rose haven't encountered any problems is because babelfish-powers of God-Tier.
Jake's an omniglot just because he's the PoH, and they have potential.

[I_Crow]

is there anyone who actually believes the troll skin is legit blood-tinted

if so i'd like to ask how karkat was never culled on the spot

[I_Crow]

is there anyone who actually believes the troll skin is legit blood-tinted

if so i'd like to ask how karkat was never culled on the spot

[Redux]

I don't believe in that, but I think the justification goes that his skin is tinted enough to look like Aradia's? I don't know, I'm pretty sure I heard that somewhere.

[I_Crow]

idk its dumb because literally no one had any idea what karkat's blood color could have been

else everyone woulda just assumed he was the same cast as aradia

[I_Crow]

also new headcanon: Dirk's bro learned how to speak in comic sans

[Ace of Dark-Hearts]

Odd Headcanon:

Vriska has a fair amount of arm hair for a girl.

Also, if she was a human she would be 100% Italian.

[metaphysics]

Headcanons, this is fun

I see a lot of headcanon heights listing Gamzee as the tallest troll. I never understood this. Sure, I think that Gamzee is really tall, but it always seemed natural to me for Equius to be the tallest, with Gamzee a few inches shorter. Like, Equius at 6'6'' and Gamzee at 6'3''. It just doesn't make sense to me for Equius to not be the tallest. Also, in my headcanon, Nepeta is the shortest and I like the contrast of morails Equius and Nepeta, the tallest and shortest trolls, it just appeals to me
Also, I agree that Karkat would be on the short side, but not tiny. Maybe 5'5''.

The aquatic trolls have their gills on the inside of their mouths, not on their neck or chest. And their head-fins do not replace their ears, only go right underneath.

The higher the blood caste, the less trolls are in it. Like, red/orange/yellow make up the majority of trolls, then the greenbloods are still somewhat common but not as much, leading up to the bluebloods being somewhat uncommon, purple bloods being pretty rare and tyrian purple to be the most rare, with only two or three trolls with that blood existing at any given time.

Humanstuck headcanon: Karkat would be ginger

[Murllyshevo]

Probably more an IDE/Theory but...

I think that both Uu's have shitty blood colors. At most Nepeta-green blood (Not bad, but not great either). UU said that both of them have special blood color, but she could be lying.

Sure, we saw UU's dream self corpse bleeding lime green, but this is what we thought was true, not the real truth (Think of John's scribbles. We could only see them when John entered the medium, but they were there the whole time).

[colwag]

is there anyone who actually believes the troll skin is legit blood-tinted

if so i'd like to ask how karkat was never culled on the spot

No, but artists do it to make them more interesting to draw/visibly appealing.

[aPawnAscending]

is there anyone who actually believes the troll skin is legit blood-tinted

if so i'd like to ask how karkat was never culled on the spot

No, but they do blush in their blood color. Vriska did so when she typed out nine !s and John spotted the mistake. If anything they would have guessed Karkat was one of the redder bloods, but it's not much to pin down his exact caste anyway. That and he may not blush enough for anyone to notice. Most of them probably haven't meet him in person, either. Terezi, was able to pick out his blood color when she got... close... enough.

[Sightedjt]

No, but they do blush in their blood color. Vriska did so when she typed out nine !s and John spotted the mistake. If anything they would have guessed Karkat was one of the redder bloods, but it's not much to pin down his exact caste anyway. That and he may not blush enough for anyone to notice. Most of them probably haven't meet him in person, either. Terezi, was able to pick out his blood color when she got... close... enough.

I wonder if well ever find out what happened then.
Also, she can smell colours so that might have helped her in figuring out his mutancy.

[supersinger472]

is there anyone who actually believes the troll skin is legit blood-tinted

if so i'd like to ask how karkat was never culled on the spot

I just assumed troll skin was thicker than human skin and that's why we don't see their blood tint trough their skin, it's also why they have black lips because the skin on their mouths is crazy thick to prevent serious damage from lip biting.

Also my head canon for doc scratch's voice is that it sounds like Riku from Kingdom Heart's di when he was possessed by Ansem. Not in terms of voice but in how most of what Doc Scratch/Riku said would be echoed by Lord English/Ansem, of course you don't see it when he's typing.

Doc Scratch:Silly little girl
Lord English(at the same time): FOOLISH HUMAN

[Troubled_Thaumaturgist]

Odd Headcanon:

Vriska has a fair amount of arm hair for a girl.

Also, if she was a human she would be 100% Italian.

Italian poster here.
when saying "100% Italian" are you still talking about how she looks? In this (kinda less annoyingly stereotyping) case, You are marginally right. Marginally because there's no such thing as a typical Italian look (Spanistaliansouthfrench-maybegreek looks, sorta exist; purely Italian, nah); right because one of my cousin is pretty much human!Vriska in flesh and glasses. Her sister would make a very convincing Jade, too.

Neither has significant arm hair, though.

[Blaperile]

In my head-canon, UU and uu are this person. Especially after the latest update.

[Sightedjt]

I just assumed troll skin was thicker than human skin and that's why we don't see their blood tint trough their skin, it's also why they have black lips because the skin on their mouths is crazy thick to prevent serious damage from lip biting.

Well, its probably due to them having chitinous skin as insect based. Its probably not a full exoskeleton as then we wouldnt see and blood tint at all and there would be thin lines where plates meet.

[Ace of Dark-Hearts]

Italian poster here.
when saying "100% Italian" are you still talking about how she looks? In this (kinda less annoyingly stereotyping) case, You are marginally right. Marginally because there's no such thing as a typical Italian look (Spanistaliansouthfrench-maybegreek looks, sorta exist; purely Italian, nah); right because one of my cousin is pretty much human!Vriska in flesh and glasses. Her sister would make a very convincing Jade, too.

Neither has significant arm hair, though.

Uhh, I didn't mean the haircanon towards all Italians?

And I don't know; I just can picture her as a tan Italian in New York City.

No offence intended. :I

[The Illusive Man]

My headcanon in a sentence:

I'm cooking a strong, independent Homestuck turkey that don't need no Rosemary.

[childishGambino]

Mindfang's journal is actually just a shitty fanfic written by A1 Aranea. Mindfang is a blatant author insert Mary Sue, her BFF is likewise a ridiculously powerful major character, and pretty much everyone else dies pointlessly. All the names were completely made up (note that they're all exactly eight characters, even if they wouldn't make sense without a relevant typing quirk, i.e. the Expatri8) and almost nothing in it actually happened. A2 Aranea got her hands on it via time shenanigans and followed it religiously the same way Vriska did, until eventually she fought A2 Amporacestor on a boat and died.

Dreambubble Aranea says it's all true because she likes her version better and nobody will know the difference anyway. Or care.