MSPA Fanfiction III

**lucidSeraph** · 12-12-2010, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Wigmund

The recent spat of "Vriska being her usual self" updates has forced my hand. It's time for the Spider8itch to get her
Comeupp8nce

A/N:

Wigmund. Wigmund I love you. that was fucking cathartic. Delicious. Would read again.

**Randomizer** · 12-12-2010, 08:51 PM

Could you tell me where to put this in which thread, if I ever wanted a independent one?

Characters so far:
AB: An anthro Becsprite, he can pretty much talk and walk, and he has wicked powers!
RV: An troll friend of AB. Has Ninja powers
CG: Karkat, you know him.
BB: A bee from the future...

*End of Part 1*

**Wigmund** · 12-12-2010, 08:51 PM

Don't worry guys, Vriska only has to go through everything she inflicted once for each and every individual she affected.

It'll just feel like an eternity to her. It's only gonna be a couple of minutes to everyone outside of the Veil.

**Dermonster** · 12-12-2010, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by everyone

Don't do that thing.

AND THIS IS WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO CALL A MOMENTARY LAPSE IN SANITY.

I HAVE THESE OFTEN.

BUT THEN I WROTE THE CREEPY!FELT SO I DON'T HAVE MUCH LEFT.

Ooh Vriska fic. Nice!

**Aerodactylus** · 12-12-2010, 09:06 PM

This is getting so huge. I was originally going to post up to the next karaoke performance(s), but then it got over 2000 words and I figured I should parse it a bit more. So, there's only one song in this one.

Come Together, Part 3

A/N

Song links:

**Sanzh** · 12-12-2010, 09:09 PM

Right so a few people were interested in more robot adventures, so here’s Part II. Part I is back here. One helped me near the end so he gets credit too.

Sbot, Part II

**Kisame12** · 12-12-2010, 09:15 PM

@wigmund

You know...thats kind of unfair. Admittedly, while Vriska did enjoy getting trolls for her lusus to eat, its never stated that she enjoys them being eaten (hell, she even whines about how 'high maintenance' her lusus is at one point). And whats more, she has to feed her lusus, so that bit of cruelty was out of necessity. If we are going say that's evil, then Fef is equally guilty (which, in that story, made her slightly out of character. Its also OC of her to be enjoying another beings pain. She is abnormal to other trolls because she ISNT a total sadist.). Most of your characters seem completely against Vriska rather suddenly, it makes it hard to buy.

A better point would have been to make her relive all the cruelty she imposed on flarp players(Tavros, Aradia, and Terezi), or the pain of those affected by Bec Noir (like Bro).

Over all: 82. Lose fourteen points for a few grossly OC characters(Fef and Jade being the most glaring), and another fourteen for a (while satisfactory and admirably tense) predictable end. On the upshot, you still managed to score 82 more points than anything I write! (and then immediately send to my recycle bin.)

**Katrika** · 12-12-2010, 09:28 PM

We're not supposed...to grade fics. I don't think.

**geeP** · 12-12-2010, 09:33 PM

bluh bluh, huge ship

don't even ask me why I did this

Hello, Goodbye

**Kisame12** · 12-12-2010, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by Katrika

We're not supposed...to grade fics. I don't think.

twas only a little constructive criticism (or at least that was my intention). Sorry :{

**Aerodactylus** · 12-12-2010, 09:47 PM

geeP, I really enjoyed that, but I have to say it was kind of hard to follow all the dialog. Maybe think about either including more name drops, or else trying out color?

**Graven_Image** · 12-12-2010, 10:02 PM

More Troll SCPs. Go nuts.

**raequiem** · 12-12-2010, 10:11 PM

Graven: Aww, Tavros! I love these SCPs. Somuch. (Although there is a rule on the site that forbids fandom SCPs, so I guess they'll have to stay here.

Wig: Yeah, it's your style. Yeah, maybe on some level she deserves it. But I have no stomach for character-torture like that. Sorry, just not my cuppa. I'd rather she be redeemed with friendship and therapy than Horrorterrors.

Aero: Also loving the music fic. Kanaya's confused enthusiasm is adorable.

Bufu: Oooh, nice twist. Took me a second read-through to get it. I love Striderfic (no shit, self).

**Wigmund** · 12-12-2010, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by raequiem

Wig: Yeah, it's your style. Yeah, maybe on some level she deserves it. But I have no stomach for character-torture like that. Sorry, just not my cuppa. I'd rather she be redeemed with friendship and therapy than Horrorterrors.

That's for part 2.

**QuetzaDrake** · 12-12-2010, 10:25 PM

@Wigmund I dunno, maybe it's cause I don't have the ungodly fury and rage that others do, but the characters seemed a little off in that one. Vriska kinda used '8itch' too much, I would think she'd be more eloquent, at least at first, and Jaaaaade... I dunno, I don't think she'd get that malevolent even after hearing everything. Though this was just kinda a catharsis fic so it's alright. :V

@Graven_Image Hah, Tavros. It's interesting to see him paired up with 682 considering how completely murderous and dangerous it is and just seeing it be docile and calm, and it's interesting to know that Tavros both thinks it could be a lusus and that he can actually commune with it.

**BlastYoBoots** · 12-12-2010, 10:27 PM

Woo, time to get this thing moving! First fic, 2nd chapter:

Out - part 2 (1, 3a, 3b, 4a, 4b)

Every time he nudged a thread, he could see them all a little clearer.

Skaia's threads twisted through objects and people all throughout the Incipisphere. They were easy to see; where they intersected, he felt a strand of bright and blue, as clear as Skaia's light. He'd catch sight of it constantly: an imp here, a statue there, the occasional Prospitan or Dersian, even gusts and weather in the Land of Wind and Shade, all shot through with the blue sun's will. Some were far more important than others, like that Parcel Mistress; if he hadn't found her at just the right moment, he'd never have discovered the threads in the first place.

The Droll wasn't special in knowing these threads were there. Most Prospitans knew. The tendrils of Skaia's benevolent will were a cornerstone of their religion, and when one noticed that Skaia deigned to make use of them, one allied with Prospit would hurl themselves vehemently at the task to which they were destined. Again, the parcel woman was an example; the determination she carried as she exited that office was striking, even to the Archagent. That's why he was given different orders for this particular recon mission: "Tail her, and report in if she does anything useful." Just as well.

But none of the others could really track the threads around them. Dersians, certainly not. They were taught to resent Skaia's unyielding control, how it caught them up and spun them around for its own plans, forced to follow a dictated fate instead of the paths they wished. And so - blinded by the resentment coded in their very beings, their DNA - they were unwitting as strands of Skaia's will swept them up one after another, accomplishing tasks under the guise of their conscious decisions, and then left them to their own devices once again.

The Courtyard Droll had never really understood that sentiment before. But as the threads coalesced around him, hijacking people left and right, he empathized with their position. Hierarchy, monarchy, rules - that was one thing. To have one's very soul usurped through predestination? However benevolent... that was wrong. If asked, the Droll could not have articulated the feeling quite so well. But he felt it.

Not that Skaia was all to blame, unbeknownst to the Dersians and Prospitans. There were other threads.

The second type of thread the Droll discovered felt dark, a violet almost black. They spiraled down numerously, haphazardly, from the space beyond the Incipisphere, striking coincidence or bouts of bad luck at random. He had doubted they could possess direction at all, at first. But as his target courier blundered nervously through the hallways of Derse, he'd caught a glimpse of his planet's moon. The princess's tower was saturated with darkness.

There was a third kind, or a hint of one. Green. It was wispy where he caught it, hardly pervasive, but its clarity belied greater power; he sensed its will would be more important later. Others too, fainter still, whose flavors were too subtle to feel. More and more, he was finding the Incipisphere claustrophobic. Less the open, adventurous series of worlds to which he was accustomed. More like a web.

Out.

---

The Droll had tailed the Parcel Mistress all the way to Prospit's royal palace. Now he just had to wait outside and report in again when she left. This worked well for him, because he had a pressing problem on his mind.

Nudging a thread was easy enough. You just take whomever it intersects, and meddle with their course of action. Give them directions. Distract them until they miss their shuttle. Heck, even recommend they go down to that excellent soup kitchen over on LoHaC, try the special. God he could go for one of those right now; he could practically smell it.

But apart from the small bouts of havoc this would play in the web of fate, he couldn't really do anything constructive. How was he to know where a thread would lead, what its purpose was? And how could he turn one in a direction he wanted? It was frustrating; he had no scope, no intel, no foresight. How could he use fate to his advantage when he only had snapshots of the present? Unless a giant tendril of important fate happened to plunge through him long enough to-

The Droll was interrupted from his line of thought by the realization that a giant tendril of important, Skaian-brand fate was beginning to plunge straight through him. What the hell?! What could possibly- he looked around.

Ah, the Parcel Mistress was out again. Seems like his first nudge of all had solved his problem: by tying her strand of fate to Noir, and himself by extension, he'd woven them all into her destined actions somehow. Now, just what did Skaia expect him to do with oh my god she's holding the White Queen's ring.

c3-"Agent Clubs reporting in to Agent Diamonds! Target is on the move, has Queen's ring in cargo. Please advise, Over!"-
-"Say Again, agent. You're saying the Queen is with the target? Over."-
c3-"Negative, boss! Target is in possession of Queen's ring. Over."-
-"Holy shit."-
c3-"Roger that, boss. Over."-
-"Standby, let me think... Alright, what's the target's heading? Over."-
c3-"Looks like it's the shuttles, boss. Over."-
-"Ah... Alright, retrieve the ring before she boards by any means necessary. Try to be subtle; if the target doesn't already have all of Prospit on her tail, you soon will if anyone finds out you took it. Am I clear? Over."-
c3-"I copy, boss. Will comply. Over."-
-"It's your lucky day, agent. Over and out."-

---

The thread of Skaia's will that ran through the Droll was exhilarating. Uniqueness, clarity, purpose. And a bit of helplessness. He could empathize with the courier, now. Skaia would do with him what it would, for a short time - and it'd be sure that he did it right. The thread would have him take the Queen's ring successfully. It was inevitable.

But that didn't mean he couldn't make Skaia sweat a bit.

He took the worst possible route he could imagine to tail his target to the shuttles. False starts, long-cuts, strolling right past Prospitan guards, the works. Enough so it was only just possible for Skaia to have him take the ring. He'd taken hold of the thread that ran through him, and was pulling it as taut as possible.

Because if you pull a string taut enough, you can feel where it leads.

The string would bend around a corner, as he collected it from the Parcel Mistress, he felt. And then... yes, he would shortly lose it again. The princess of Prospit would personally beat the ring out of him. He could already feel some of the pain.

He pulled tighter, but couldn't feel any further. Skaia's attention would leave him after that, along with his importance.

But the ring... that was the key.

The Droll scrambled over the side of the overpass that held his target's shuttle. Just in time, as Skaia had predestined, he looted the ring from her pocket without her noticing. And then he saw the threads.

Blue and striking green coursed through the ring like lightning, like nothing else he'd ever seen. There were other threads, too, but it got its point across. The power contained in this ring was nothing compared to the promise it held, its future role. And he had to lose it. The thread running through him right now left him no choice.

That's when he put the ring in his mouth.

The ring's threads grew taut.

He moved it further back in his throat. Further.

Fate strained at the bounds of what he was doing. He couldn't swallow, wouldn't - Skaia's thread through him guaranteed as much - but nonetheless, he was drawing back hard on the two most powerful cords of fate he'd ever felt. And their paths came to him, as clear as day.

The princess of Prospit - no, Prospit as a whole - was doomed. The prince would take the ring, and then a Dersian villein. From Prospit to the battlefield to - his heart skipped a beat - a planet outside this realm! And then years upon years on this planet, until it would somehow return, not a day from now, wielded by a commoner against the terrifying holder of the Black Queen's power.

The battle was important, important enough for Skaia to go to such unfathomable lengths to ensure it would occur at an exact moment. But the ring's wielder was doomed nonetheless. Struck down from its holder, the ring would fall, never to be used for - or against - Skaia's plans again.

The Droll spit out the ring, dried it on the lapel - what he was sure qualified as a lapel - of his dashing attire, fumbled for his two-way radio, and went along Skaia's way.

---

As he nursed his wounds, and the loss of pride that went with his departed hat, the Courtyard Droll was surprisingly content. He'd been daunted by the revelation that Skaia's threads extended even beyond the Incipisphere. Was no realm free from the webs of these omniscient entities? But there were small gaps he could find, as long as he traced the right threads. And where there were gaps, he was free to plan. In fact, he already had the makings of one.

Sure, he'd gotten hurt, lost his hat, and failed his mission. The White Queen's ring, with all its power and promise, was gone.

No matter.

He'd have it again soon enough.

Also I am loving-loving-loving the troll SCPs. I've written + edited a couple things there myself, and recommend that anyone else do so if they want technical writing practice. It's really a great way to learn that tone, consistency of writing.

**Aerodactylus** · 12-12-2010, 10:39 PM

@Graven: Tavros and 682 is THE BEST THING EVER. The idea of good old incredibly murderous 682 being someone's lusus is just the most heartwarming thing imaginable.

@Rae: Thanks! I wasn't sure how readable the Rose and Kanaya portion was. I was afraid it would be a bit boring, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

**geeP** · 12-12-2010, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by Aerodactylus

geeP, I really enjoyed that, but I have to say it was kind of hard to follow all the dialog. Maybe think about either including more name drops, or else trying out color?

To a certain extent, the comments from the peanut gallery are supposed to be a bit disorganized. A couple lines literally have no attribution; they're pure crowd dialogue. If it's bad enough that it's hard to follow the main conversations, though, I'll have to go back and edit.

**X15lm204** · 12-12-2010, 11:09 PM

@BYB Yeees this is awesome. CD is easily my favorite of the MC and he needs more fic. Can't wait for more.

**Domoz** · 12-12-2010, 11:15 PM

God I love the fanfic thread.
You don't even know.
You don't even know

Also here is this silly little thing again ohgodwhatisitdoinghere

wwhite magic Black magic
Part 2/?

Older parts will be in my sig

**lucidSeraph** · 12-12-2010, 11:28 PM

Originally Posted by Graven_Image

More Troll SCPs. Go nuts.

AHAHAHA I love this love it love it. 682 as somebody's Lusus is just pure gold, pure fucking gold. Beautiful.

**raequiem** · 12-12-2010, 11:50 PM

Taking a break from Becfic to write some postgame Karkat. I suck at titles.

**Aerodactylus** · 12-13-2010, 12:14 AM

Rae, that was adorable! I knew Karkat had a heart of gold under all that bluster and swearing!

**raequiem** · 12-13-2010, 12:32 AM

Karkat is a warm fluffy teddy bear wrapped in rage and cursewords.

**egregiousBass** · 12-13-2010, 01:53 AM

Originally Posted by QuetzaDrake

@Wigmund I dunno, maybe it's cause I don't have the ungodly fury and rage that others do, but the characters seemed a little off in that one. Vriska kinda used '8itch' too much, I would think she'd be more eloquent, at least at first, and Jaaaaade... I dunno, I don't think she'd get that malevolent even after hearing everything. Though this was just kinda a catharsis fic so it's alright. :V

I tend to agree. It just looked way too directly fueled by Vriska-rage. And I thought it was really OOC for everyone to abandon her like that. Up until the end, I thought her punishment was just going to be a good scare =P

Shit, let's collaborate on something sometime.

@Rae: I disliked that because I don't want characters to be happy. And I vehemently un-ship Karkat/Terezi. So basically don't mind me =P

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