MSPA Fanfiction III

[One]

lol i dunno

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Darkness.

Somewhere in paradox space, there is a session that only contains darkness.

There is no Skaia. No Prospit. No Derse. No Lands, no Veil, no Medium.

There is only darkness.

But one thing still remains. He drifts through the void on great black wings, crackling with green energy. On his one hand is a golden ring with four dark orbs around it.

Jack Noir.

He had killed them all.

The Heir.

Wind buffeted his wings, driving the Ace backwards. He covered his face with his carapaced hand, blinded by the storm's ferocity.

The Heir of Breath pushed harder. The Breeze responded and sped even faster.

Then the Ace vanished in a flash of green and black.

John turned just in time to see Jack Noir swoop down, sped on by the same winds he had conjured, and remove his head from his shoulders.

The Seer.

Lances of purple met and countered tendrils of red, destroying both explosively. Dark magic crisscrossed the bright sky, forming a protective net around Rose.

It was a simple matter to just teleport inside the shield.

Even simpler to skewer the Seer through the heart.

The Knight.

An army of Daves battled the lone Ace. It was eerily reminiscent of the slaughter on Skaia.

Their combined powers were no match for Jack. He carved through the mob like a hot knife through butter. But there were always more.

The entire platform shattered, ripped apart by a First Guardian's power. The pieces began to slip, tilt, capsize.

Those who were lucky enough to not fall in the lava met their ends by Jack's sword.

The Witch.

The First Guardian barked and roared in anger. The land ripped and tore from its fury, cracks spreading all over its surface.

But it would not harm the Ace. It could not harm the Ace. It, for all its raw power, was bound by rules it was unable to break.

Jade fell, rapidly bleeding to death from the huge gash in her side. It was almost a mercy kill. The tears on her cheeks were not of pain, but of grief.

After the players came the planets. The Denizens were slain with ease, the consorts massacred. Then, out of spite, he destroyed them. In the end, all that remained was shattered fragments.

The Ace's wings carried him quickly through the Medium. The Reckoning was nearing its end, Skaia's final form almost completely destroyed. He would have to act quickly in order to bring the Mutinous Cohorts through the gates before they closed forever.

Then the Tumor detonated.

Blinding, searing light swept through the Medium. Skaia disintegrated, followed by Prospit, golden towers peeling away under the storm. The former Lands were consumed next, burning to nothing.

Jack Noir looked towards Derse just in time to see it be vaporized by the blast.

Then there was nothing.

The Ace drifted. He floated through an infinite, black expanse. Everything he had ever known was gone. He had killed millions, destroyed cities, wrecked the game so thoroughly that the only option left was complete annihilation.

And now he was so very, very alone.

He looked at his ring of orbs. The orbs, once so bright, now were dark, the prototypings remaining only because of his powers as First Guardian.

His prototypings were the only things keeping him alive. Alive and alone, the last living thing in a null session.

A flash of green, and his old tentacles emerged once more.

He took off the ring. Everything vanished. The wings, the sword, the scar. He was no longer Bec Noir. Now he was just Jack, former Archagent. Now he was mortal. Jack flung the ring away. It disappeared almost instantly into the darkness.

And Jack Noir waited for himself to die.

[SataiDelenn]

...She's Always a Woman. It's perfect. Perfect.

[QuetzaDrake]

lol i dunno

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Darkness.

Somewhere in paradox space, there is a session that only contains darkness.

There is no Skaia. No Prospit. No Derse. No Lands, no Veil, no Medium.

There is only darkness.

But one thing still remains. He drifts through the void on great black wings, crackling with green energy. On his one hand is a golden ring with four dark orbs around it.

Jack Noir.

He had killed them all.

The Heir.

Wind buffeted his wings, driving the Ace backwards. He covered his face with his carapaced hand, blinded by the storm's ferocity.

The Heir of Breath pushed harder. The Breeze responded and sped even faster.

Then the Ace vanished in a flash of green and black.

John turned just in time to see Jack Noir swoop down, sped on by the same winds he had conjured, and remove his head from his shoulders.

The Seer.

Lances of purple met and countered tendrils of red, destroying both explosively. Dark magic crisscrossed the bright sky, forming a protective net around Rose.

It was a simple matter to just teleport inside the shield.

Even simpler to skewer the Seer through the heart.

The Knight.

An army of Daves battled the lone Ace. It was eerily reminiscent of the slaughter on Skaia.

Their combined powers were no match for Jack. He carved through the mob like a hot knife through butter. But there were always more.

The entire platform shattered, ripped apart by a First Guardian's power. The pieces began to slip, tilt, capsize.

Those who were lucky enough to not fall in the lava met their ends by Jack's sword.

The Witch.

The First Guardian barked and roared in anger. The land ripped and tore from its fury, cracks spreading all over its surface.

But it would not harm the Ace. It could not harm the Ace. It, for all its raw power, was bound by rules it was unable to break.

Jade fell, rapidly bleeding to death from the huge gash in her side. It was almost a mercy kill. The tears on her cheeks were not of pain, but of grief.

After the players came the planets. The Denizens were slain with ease, the consorts massacred. Then, out of spite, he destroyed them. In the end, all that remained was shattered fragments.

The Ace's wings carried him quickly through the Medium. The Reckoning was nearing its end, Skaia's final form almost completely destroyed. He would have to act quickly in order to bring the Mutinous Cohorts through the gates before they closed forever.

Then the Tumor detonated.

Blinding, searing light swept through the Medium. Skaia disintegrated, followed by Prospit, golden towers peeling away under the storm. The former Lands were consumed next, burning to nothing.

Jack Noir looked towards Derse just in time to see it be vaporized by the blast.

Then there was nothing.

The Ace drifted. He floated through an infinite, black expanse. Everything he had ever known was gone. He had killed millions, destroyed cities, wrecked the game so thoroughly that the only option left was complete annihilation.

And now he was so very, very alone.

He looked at his ring of orbs. The orbs, once so bright, now were dark, the prototypings remaining only because of his powers as First Guardian.

His prototypings were the only things keeping him alive. Alive and alone, the last living thing in a null session.

A flash of green, and his old tentacles emerged once more.

He took off the ring. Everything vanished. The wings, the sword, the scar. He was no longer Bec Noir. Now he was just Jack, former Archagent. Now he was mortal. Jack flung the ring away. It disappeared almost instantly into the darkness.

And Jack Noir waited for himself to die.

This is my sequel fanfic to your fanfic.

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but then suddenly quetzadrake appearified in the darkness and gave jack a hug and a cookie so he wouldn't be lonely, and jack was like "oh man i have realized the error of my destructive genocidal ways and i will now change for the better!", and then quetzadrake revealed he had a universebuilding machine and used it to make a new universe with everyone alive and forgiving jack because he had clearly learned the error of his destructive genocidal ways and would change for the better, and then quetzadrake retrieved the ring that jack had thrown away and gave it to him so he would be a winged doggy again, and quetzadrake hopped on his back and rode through the new universe with bec noir and had a lot of great happy fun adventures!

oh, but quetzadrake also hit bec noir with a newspaper once for all the genocide and stuff, cause bad dogs do not get off scot-free you know!

THE END.

[sebastian]

@graven: A SCP-homestuck crossover is intriguing, I wonder if Tavros could work for them, his help with some subjects would be inestimable.

Also, they seems to be familiar with Sburb's shenanigans, I can't wait for the Guardians to enter into the picture.

BTW, Tavros's ability worked on the underlings, and they should count as humanoids, I think.

[Eco-Mono]

So I've been told I should post these.

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The Parable of the Avaricious Maiden

Once there was a maiden
who danced through life with a book in her hand.
At every obstacle in her path,
she would but read a line from that book,
and learn how the person she was about to become would have overcome it.
And then she would overcome the obstacle, and become that person.
One day, the book burned up,
became smoke and flew away.
And she was lost,
for how could she overcome her obstacles without knowing how she'd done it?
So she began to think, and regret the things she had done in her book.
Until she found a new one.
"My luck has returned," she said,
and rather than read one passage at a time,
she greedily gobbled down chapter after chapter,
until her eyes became blurry
and the words ceased to be written in her language.
And she carried out everything she read, down to the last word:
to throw herself off a cliff, and die.

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The Parable of the Dreaming Maiden

Once there was a maiden...
Whose dreams were filled with gold and blue.
She whiled away her sleep in a stately palace
With many attendants and friends
And saw her past and future in the sky above.
But although she would sleep long and often
She would always awaken when the time came.
"The sky is also a garden," she said.

The maiden, when she awoke,
would tend all the growing things in her care
her plants, her pets. and her friends
whose fates she had seen in her dreams.
She fed and watered the buds of their futures
And when the sun rose,
they bloomed.

[Kite]

@One: That was beautiful. I loved it. I thiiiink the kids would have been a little less dumb if they ever did come across bec noir but it was still a really enjoyable read and a suitable punishment for Jack I think. I mean even if everybody died I think I'd be satisfied if Jack had to just wait for death alone and with nothing.

@Eco: You know how I feel about these they're wonderful! They have such a nice feeling to them and all the symbolism and stuff is great : D

[BPrinny]

Right so a few people were interested in more robot adventures, so here’s Part II. Part I is back here. One helped me near the end so he gets credit too.

Sbot, Part II

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Argon closed the comm-log with Cobalt that he had been using, reallocating the previously used space on the monitor for another data-feed. The work of a regulation-adjutant was busy-- a fact lost on his subordinates, a minor part of his thought-cycle reminded him. The various monitors of his domicile-cluster were devoted to business, not the petty frivolities his assigned charges pursued. One of his manipulator-appendages fitted a cable into one of the ports along his exterior, allowing a report to be filed quickly. While he had not contacted everyone necessary for the game-- you mean simulation, a section of code devoted to more formal terminology corrected-- reports were essential to record their progress. This experiment, while he loathed to consider it as such, needed proper documentation. Cobalt, despite her scientific background, would get caught up in the variables and possibilities. It was up to him to keep this venture grounded in fact.

While he had a strict time-table to run by, there was some empty time between contacting each member of the team he would assemble. He was of course there to act as a leader and direct the others to constructive ends, but each had their specializations. Cobalt would provide a theoretical look at the project-- and given the distinct possibility of biological entities being present, perhaps some ability to communicate, given her cycles-long enthusiasm for the possibility of organic life and what it would entail. He had others as well-- elements specializing in industry to help produce necessary components, and a specialist in programming to assist in logic and whatever information-searching would prove necessary. He had not been informed much when it came to this event, solely that he was to recruit others and provide the necessary programs to join the connection.

The abrupt sound of communication being established interrupted his brief reprieve. Communication wasn’t authorized with others, only he could initiate contact-- at least using the primitive program that somehow still saw use. Data transfer through it was slow, unwieldy. He could not hope to converse as meaningfully as through the datum-plane. He set aside a monitor to take care of this conversation.

While Intelligences are not capable of feeling fear, intimidation is a definite emotion that can be expressed.

Open Comm-log

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-- ferociousEvisceration [FE] established communications with arrogantRegulation [AR]--
FE: AARGON.
FE: AARGON.
FE: AARGON YOU PAATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AA CIRCUIT BREAAKER AANSWER ME.
AR: Ignoring factor unauthorized access. What inquiry presented?
FE: DON’T GIVE ME YOUR COY RESPONSES AARGON YOU KNOW WHAAT I WAANT.
FE: AACCESS TO THE GAAME YOU’RE AABOUT TO PLAY.
AR: Not game. Simulation. Difference.
FE: THE TERMINOLOGY IS IRRELEVAANT. I WAANT TO JOIN.
AR: Impossible. Not designation part connection chain.
FE: WHAAT.
FE: AARE YOU AASKING ME TO PERFORM AAN ORBITAAL INSERTION ON YOUR DOMICILE-CLUSTER SO I CAAN GET THE NECESAARY COMPONENTS.
FE: IF THAAT IS WHAAT’S NEEDED TO GET YOUR REFINED AADMINISTRAATIVE CHAASSIS TO SEND ME THE SOFTWAARE THEN I WILL.
AR: Chance successful orbital insertion null. Likely result your destruction. Previous answer still pertains.
FE: THAAT’S YOUR DEFENSE PLAAN. THE AASTEROID DEFENSE RELAAY.
FE: IF THAAT’S THE ONLY DEFENSE YOU HAAVE THEN YOUR DOMICILE-CLUSTER IS AAS GOOD AAS FLAATTENED.
FE: THE DEFENSE NETWORK IS DESIGNED TO HAAVE SECTIONS WITHOUT COVERAAGE FOR MOVEMENT OF RAAW MAATERIALS TO THE SURFAACE. IT’D BE AAS SIMPLE AAS USING THOSE SECTIONS TO ENTER THE AATMOSPHERE.
FE: ONCE WITHIN THE AATMOSPHERE IT’S JUST AA MAATTER OF FREE-FAALLING ONTO YOUR CLUSTER AND GRINDING YOUR AARROGANT, SELF-AABSORBED CHAASSIS TO SCRAAPS.
FE: I’LL TAAKE YOUR LAACK OF AA RESPONSE AAS A SIGN THAAT YOUR PRIMAARY LOGIC CORE HAAS BURNED OUT.
FE: SO TELL ME, AARGON. DO YOU WAANT THREE TONS OF AANGRY METAAL TO LAAND ON YOU.
AR: Negative. Sending necessary programs immediately.
FE: GOOD. I’LL CONTAACT YOU LAATER ONCE I HAAVE INSTAALLED THEM.
FE: I’M UPSET YOUR PROCESSORS HAAVE AA SHRED OF COMMON SENSE. I WAAS LOOKING FORWAARD TO CONDUCTING SOME DOMICILE-CLUSTER REDECORAATION.
-- ferociousEvisceration [FE] ceased communications with arrogantRegulation [AR]--

That could have gone better, Argon thought. Then again, considering that the militant Intelligence he just conversed with had his domicile-cluster located on the moon, his threat of orbital insertion was not entirely unsubstantiated. The moon was essentially a gigantic barracks, housing millions, if not billions, of combat-ready Intelligences in hexagonal chambers. If threats existed on the planet’s surface, such as an uprising-- perhaps a disagreement over the results of a convoluted experiment-- they would have single-stage rockets attached to their chassis and be launched directly at the offenders. If three tons of an angry metal crab landing on a revolting Intelligence wasn’t enough, then the assortment of buzz-saws, drills, and claws immediately after likely would. Centuries of perfecting warfare down to a science made such maneuvers routine.

Such insertions could be dangerous, though. In ages past, Intelligence society had hollowed out the planet’s interior, replacing rock and crystal with wires and computers. The only things keeping the surface stable were the trillions of miles of support columns and latticework, and even then great enough impacts could crumple the surface like an eggshell.

Impacts like, say, meteors.

Argon had work to do. While the asteroid defense relay would buy their group some time, there was also the concern of corruption from within the datum-plane-- where a significant majority of Intelligences spent their time, existing solely as data. He would need to evacuate those members of his team currently residing there.

I'm liking this a lot. Keep writing.

[ceruleanTresses]

Taking a break from Becfic to write some postgame Karkat. I suck at titles.

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What do you want?

The hell kind of question is that?

Well, you're here. You called this press conference. Obviously, you must have something in mind.

All we wanted for this press thing was to let you nooksuckers know: yes we're aliens, yes we've settled here on Earth, no we're not hostile. That's all. If there's gonna be a media explosion about us I'd at least like to be in control of when and where we set it off.

Still, there must be something your group wants. You're twelve kids holed up in an undisclosed location, there's gotta be something you need.

... I don't know. There's lots of stuff we need. There's lots of stuff we want. Nepeta wants a kitten. Can you get her a kitten?

Probably. It's human nature to want to help those in need, especially children.

Fucking retarded is what it is.

Well?

... alright. First, blanket statement: we're not going with your ridiculous military scientists. No poking, no prodding, no examinations, no experiments. If you're that curious you can ask nicely, but we reserve the right to say no. And especially don't do the cliché kidnap-them-in-the-middle-of-the-night-when-they're-off-guard thing. We can and will fuck your shit up beyond all possible recognition.

You've watched far too many movies.

Put a bulge in your protein chute, I'm not done yet. I've got a list. Feferi wants to sit down and have a chat with your world leaders - she's gotten all gung-ho political ever since she realized she's the de facto empress. Nepeta wants the aforementioned kitten, and she and Tavros want to tour your best animal prisons.

...You mean zoos?

That is the most fucktarded word I have ever heard, but yes. Your pathetic human "zoos", and I just felt my brain cells die. Anyway. Terezi wants to tour that law school of yours, Harvard, and have the opportunity to apply. Aradia wants to visit Egypt. Eridan wants a private screening of all the Harry Potter movies, and to meet with the author. Sollux wants access to a supercomputer, and Equius to the latest robotic technology. Kanaya wants a trip to Paris for fashion week. Gamzee wants to see an ICP concert. Vriska wants a week in Vegas.

And you, personally?

What?

You didn't mention what you want for yourself.

... I don't know. I'm good, I guess. Nothing in particular springs to mind.

Really? Nothing in the whole world you want?

No, not really.

Can I ask why?

I'm just... okay. With everything. I've got everything I need.

Such as?

Friends, the douchebags. A good matespritship with an amazing girl. A massive collection of every romcom ever made by trolls or humans. And, y'know, a roof over my head. Food to eat. A distinct lack of people trying to kill me - a place I can close my eyes without worrying about getting culled in my sleep. A place where being someone like me doesn't have to mean being afraid.

I don't think there's anything else anyone could need.

D'awwwww! I love this. It's relentlessly adorable.

[JudgeDeadd]

Taking a break from Becfic to write some postgame Karkat. I suck at titles.

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What do you want?

The hell kind of question is that?

Well, you're here. You called this press conference. Obviously, you must have something in mind.

All we wanted for this press thing was to let you nooksuckers know: yes we're aliens, yes we've settled here on Earth, no we're not hostile. That's all. If there's gonna be a media explosion about us I'd at least like to be in control of when and where we set it off.

Still, there must be something your group wants. You're twelve kids holed up in an undisclosed location, there's gotta be something you need.

... I don't know. There's lots of stuff we need. There's lots of stuff we want. Nepeta wants a kitten. Can you get her a kitten?

Probably. It's human nature to want to help those in need, especially children.

Fucking retarded is what it is.

Well?

... alright. First, blanket statement: we're not going with your ridiculous military scientists. No poking, no prodding, no examinations, no experiments. If you're that curious you can ask nicely, but we reserve the right to say no. And especially don't do the cliché kidnap-them-in-the-middle-of-the-night-when-they're-off-guard thing. We can and will fuck your shit up beyond all possible recognition.

You've watched far too many movies.

Put a bulge in your protein chute, I'm not done yet. I've got a list. Feferi wants to sit down and have a chat with your world leaders - she's gotten all gung-ho political ever since she realized she's the de facto empress. Nepeta wants the aforementioned kitten, and she and Tavros want to tour your best animal prisons.

...You mean zoos?

That is the most fucktarded word I have ever heard, but yes. Your pathetic human "zoos", and I just felt my brain cells die. Anyway. Terezi wants to tour that law school of yours, Harvard, and have the opportunity to apply. Aradia wants to visit Egypt. Eridan wants a private screening of all the Harry Potter movies, and to meet with the author. Sollux wants access to a supercomputer, and Equius to the latest robotic technology. Kanaya wants a trip to Paris for fashion week. Gamzee wants to see an ICP concert. Vriska wants a week in Vegas.

And you, personally?

What?

You didn't mention what you want for yourself.

... I don't know. I'm good, I guess. Nothing in particular springs to mind.

Really? Nothing in the whole world you want?

No, not really.

Can I ask why?

I'm just... okay. With everything. I've got everything I need.

Such as?

Friends, the douchebags. A good matespritship with an amazing girl. A massive collection of every romcom ever made by trolls or humans. And, y'know, a roof over my head. Food to eat. A distinct lack of people trying to kill me - a place I can close my eyes without worrying about getting culled in my sleep. A place where being someone like me doesn't have to mean being afraid.

I don't think there's anything else anyone could need.

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Writing Karkat is such catharsis for me. Pity it turned so damn sappy at the end there.

Ooh I love this. Almost, I feel like drawing some fanart for this (terrified crowds: "NNNOOOOOO!!!")

[Graven_Image]

Typing like a corporate lackey shouldn't be this fun. But, given the subject matter...

Item #: SCP-1025-3

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Object Class: Euclid/Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1025-3 is to be contained in the standard SCP-1025 cell. However, SCP-1025-3 itself must always wear a helmet of SCP-148, as well as a collar and handcuffs of said substance.

If SCP-1025-3 is ever found without any of the SCP-148 items on its person, it is to be immediately incapacitated with nonlethal force and the items in question are to be replaced. If SCP-1025-3 breaches containment, lethal force is authorized, up to and including the use of SCP-044.

SCP-1025-3 is not to be interred of transported near SCP-1025-1, SCP-1025-4, SCP-1025-8, or SCP-079.

Description: SCP-1025-3 is an outwardly unremarkable specimen of SCP-1025. Its only outward anomaly is the two sets of small horns, where other members of the species only have one. Tests have shown its blood to be mustard yellow in hue.

However, SCP-1025-3 has multiple destructive abilities, and labels them all under “psychic powers.” These “powers” include flight, telekinesis, [DATA EXPUNGED] be prepared to enact [DATA EXPUNGED] evacuation.

SCP-148 has proven effective at negating these abilities, however. Therefore, SCP-1025-3 must never be contained, transported, or tested on without the accoutrements listed in the procedures above.

Addendum 1025-3a: Partial transcript of initial interrogation of SCP-1025-3. Agent XXXXXX conducting.

Agent XXXXXX: ...Just so you know, you are now known as SCP-1025-3.

SCP-1025-3: (Speaking with a pronounced lisp) my name is XXXXXX.

Agent XXXXXX: Right, well, Mister XXXXXX. This facility is...

SCP-1025-3: Oh, spare me. I know all about this place.

Agent XXXXXX: What?

SCP-1025-3: I read the website. Secure, Contain, Protect, right? And you think me and my friends are a threat to the ‘normality’ of the average human's existence.

Agent XXXXXX: Well, aren’t you?

SCP-1025-3: I dunno. All I know is that I really want to check this place out. Like, SCP-XXX? I didn’t even know you guys found that yet.

Agent XXXXXX: How do you know about that?

SCP-1025-3: (Scoffs) I just hacked through that pretty billboard you guys had as a website and found out what was really going on.

Agent XXXXXX: I think we’re finished.

SCP-1025-3: Oh, and SCP-079. Can’t wait to get my hands on him. I think we could make some real progress together.

Agent XXXXXX: I sincerely doubt the Foundation will ever introduce you two.

(Agent XXXXXX leaves. SCP-1025-3 is taken from the room and interred in his cell, where he remained until Incident 1025-3.)

Addendum 1025-3b: SCP-1025-3 is to be considered armed and extremely dangerous while not dampened with SCP-148. Lethal force is strongly advised.

If SCP-1025-3 is located, stealth tactics should be given priority. Subject appears to be capable of projecting an intertial dampening wall, rendering traditional kinetic weaponry ineffective.

If threat level escalates to X or higher, Task Force Omega-7 will be deployed. Possible [DATA EXPUNGED] has been ruled as a serious improbability.

[QuetzaDrake]

Haha, definitely seems like Sollux, already knowing what's up and being cheeky about it.

I think I'm a little biased though cause I feel like they're being a little crueler than usual for the trolls! Like, "Yeah, Sollux can obliterate a building with his laser vision but c'mon he's cool guys! He doesn't give a crap!"

Although I can't wait for you to write Vriska's... also Nepeta's and Equius's, actually.

[SataiDelenn]

So I've been told I should post these.

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The Parable of the Avaricious Maiden

Once there was a maiden
who danced through life with a book in her hand.
At every obstacle in her path,
she would but read a line from that book,
and learn how the person she was about to become would have overcome it.
And then she would overcome the obstacle, and become that person.
One day, the book burned up,
became smoke and flew away.
And she was lost,
for how could she overcome her obstacles without knowing how she'd done it?
So she began to think, and regret the things she had done in her book.
Until she found a new one.
"My luck has returned," she said,
and rather than read one passage at a time,
she greedily gobbled down chapter after chapter,
until her eyes became blurry
and the words ceased to be written in her language.
And she carried out everything she read, down to the last word:
to throw herself off a cliff, and die.

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The Parable of the Dreaming Maiden

Once there was a maiden...
Whose dreams were filled with gold and blue.
She whiled away her sleep in a stately palace
With many attendants and friends
And saw her past and future in the sky above.
But although she would sleep long and often
She would always awaken when the time came.
"The sky is also a garden," she said.

The maiden, when she awoke,
would tend all the growing things in her care
her plants, her pets. and her friends
whose fates she had seen in her dreams.
She fed and watered the buds of their futures
And when the sun rose,
they bloomed.

Oh man! Sidereal sutras! Will there be more?

This reminds me that the trolls line up pretty well with the yozis. Have you been to the WW forum?

[lucidSeraph]

Although I can't wait for you to write Vriska's... also Nepeta's and Equius's, actually.

haha is it sad that Vriska's one of three trolls who I feel actually DOES deserve the Keter designation at this point? Jegus.

[DJ-P0N3]

Oh god This is huge, I have spent my morning on this.
Totally worth it too.
Merry Christmas early on,so to all I give this fanfic!

Rules of the mistletoe

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The Holidays were coming very soon. It was a time of year filled with joy and caring, but for one particular individual it was more of a competition between family members than an actually emotional event, in the household of Rose Lalonde. Each year she buys a new alcoholic cooler or even some fine imported wine from the Philippines. Rose is against drinking, and dislikes her mother’s drinking, but she is following Dave’s advice of being ironic with this. Being an enabler, and simultaneously signing her up for an Alcoholics anonymous group therapy session is what Rose believes might be the perfect amount of irony to beat her mother’s usual skill.
At this point and time she is currently wrapping the presents and speaking with Dave.
Show pesterlog

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- - tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at ?? - -
TT: Hello Dave, I have decided to take your advice this year.
TG: sup
TG: oh so you got her something ironic
TG: about time you start doing this shit right
TT: I think in the end it will all be worth it and I will have shown her who is truly the better woman.
TG: I dont get why youre so worked up about this each year
TT: She is an awful woman who has mocked me her entire life, there is much worse I could do.
TT: She should be thankful I am not trying to find her a man whom loves drinking, and signing them both up for AA.
TG: okay just so were clear you mean ‘alcoholics anonymous’ and not ‘apocalypsearisen’
TT: Do trolls even celebrate Christmas?
TG: fuck if i know
TT: It would be interesting to find out, you get on that.
TT: I need to finish wrapping these gifts.
TG: later
- - tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at ?? - -

Rose didn’t need to have anything distracting her from this contest, she had to beat her mother this year.

MEANWHILE

Dave has had his mind stimulated for the first time in quite a while, do trolls celebrate Christmas? Do they call it Trollmas? Is there a Trollsus Christ? These are some pretty dumb questions, but he doesn’t have to worry about Bro and Christmas. Each year Bro gets more smuppets for himself, Dave gets some sweet new records and audio devices, and the two of them usually duel it out in a hashmap rap battle for the biggest present, which is usually the newest video gaming console.
Hopping onto his computer he brings up pesterchum and tries asking one of the trolls for himself.

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- - turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering adiosToreador [AT] at ?? - -
TG: sup
AT: uHHH, hI,
AT: i NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD SPEAK TO ANY OF US, uHH, wILLINGLY,
AT: tHIS MUST BE VERY IMPORTANT,
TG: sure is
TG: do you trolls have a Christmas
TG: with the presents and trees and shit
AT: oF COURSE WE HAVE CHRISTMAS, wHY WOULD YOU DOUBT THAT,
TG: because you guys are a weird ass species from another planet
TG: do you even put a tree in your house
AT: yOU MEAN HIVE, aND UHHHH, yES WE DO,
TG: so you put presents under it
AT: aBSOLUTELY, rUFIO LEFT ME A REALLY NICE PRESENT LAST YEAR,
TG: isnt he that guy in your head or some shit
TG: like an imaginary friend
AT: i, uHHHH, wELL YES BUT HE STILL PROVIDES COMPANY FOR ME,
TG: that shit is just embarrassing
TG: keep going on this shit is getting interesting
AT: oH, uHHH, oKAY,
AT: wE GET PRESENTS FOR OUR MATESPRIT AND, oUR UHHH, kISMESIS EVERY YEAR,
AT: iTS LIKE UHHH, aPOLOGIZING TO KEEP A FRIEND AND PUNCHING A FOE TO KEEP A FOE, i THINK,
TG: that is one hell of an analaogy
AT: a WHAT,
TG: comparing shit to other shit that may or not be like the other shit
TG: aight
AT: uHHHH, i THINK I GET IT,
TG: so that’s all
TG: just hugs and punches
AT: wHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING,
TG: fucking mistletoe that’s what
AT: uHHH, wHAT IS THAT,
TG: aight let me explain
TG: lets say you get this fine babe underneath this plant thing you hang up somewhere
TG: then you get under there too
TG: law says she has to kiss you
AT: yOU, uHHHH, yOU MUST BE JOKING, tHAT IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE,
TG: sure aint
TG: try it this is what the plant looks like
- - turntechGodhead sent adiosToreador: mistletoe.png
AT: i WILL GO PRINT THIS OUT TO UHHHHH, sEE IF IT WORKS,
TG: good luck
- - adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at ?? - -
TG: shit dog
TG: I was joking

Dave slaps a hand right to his face, his palm paps him hard. He probably should’ve mentioned it was a joke sooner, now Tavros is gonna make an even bigger idiot of himself than usual. Dave has no idea who Tavros will try it on, but at the very least he knows not to try it on…

MEANWHILE

Jade is currently sitting in her room alone, the holidays are a little saddening for her. Her grandfather doesn’t get her any presents and Becquerel is a sweet dog, but she doubts he would go out and deliberately steal for Jade to be happy. She knows Rose is busy with her mother, Dave’s Christmas is just so cool, but John usually sends Jade a present of some kind. At least he tries to.
Walking into the main room she sits next to the distinguished house guests and hugs them tightly.

“Merry Christmas you guys…”

She can feel a tear coming up, she really shouldn’t cry.

- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ?? - -
CG: STOP YOUR CRYING THIS INSTANT YOU MISERABLE NOOKSNIFFER.

She sees a rather rude message, Karkat isn’t good at cheering anyone up, but at least its company she doesn’t normally get.

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- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ?? - -
CG: STOP YOUR CRYING THIS INSTANT YOU MISERABLE NOOKSNIFFER.
GG: hi there karkat.
CG: IS THIS WHAT YOU HUMANS DO ON YOUR EARTH CHRISTMAS?
CG: CRY LIKE FUCKING GRUBLINGS?
GG: not usually, no :’C
CG: SO WHY ARE YOU?
GG: I live alone with my dog and stuffed grandpa
GG: I don’t have much of a family to spend time with
CG: WHAT ABOUT JOHN?
GG: he is a close friend, but we aren’t family.
GG: I’d feel bad to impose
CG: YOU ARE EMBARASSING YOURSELF, STOP IT THIS INSTANT.
CG: A TROLL SPENDS CHRISTMAS JUST LIKE YOU DO.
GG: that’s right, you don’t see your parents.
CG: I AM MY OWN FATHER.
GG: what? >
CG: FIRST OFF, IT IS A LONG STORY.
CG: SECONDLY, THAT FACE IS NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE TO MAKE.
GG: well I just made it!
CG: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SILLY AND USELESS.
GG: thanks.
CG: OH GOD YOU ARE NOT SMILING AT ME.
CG: STOP THAT THIS INSTANT.
GG: sorry, I am just happy that I have company to talk to.
CG: DO NOT GET ALL MUSHY ON ME.
GG: I wasn’t! <:O
CG: IT SURE SEEMED LIKE IT.
GG: I promise I wasn’t!
CG: OKAY GOOD.
CG: LOOK I HAVE TO GO, I WILL COMFORT YOU LATER, OKAY?
GG: okay. :’)
- - gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at ?? - -

Jade wiped the tears from her eyes, it was nice to have company, even if it was just gray text from an alternate species with confusing habits. Maybe he likes her, she doesn’t really know. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought about it, she was feeling flushed in the face. She shook her head, she was just so happy to be talking to someone.

MEANWHILE

Tavros sneaks over to Vriska and holds it over her head. He chuckles for a moment before she turns to him, his look of confidence goes away quickly. Her stern stare and attitude make even Rufio shake in his leotard.

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Vriska Serket [VS] began speaking to Tavros Nitram [TN]
VS: What are you doing?
TN: i UHHHH, i WAS JUST HOLDING UP A PRETTY PLANT TO SHOW IT TO YOU,
VS: Is that mistletoe? Are you trying to 8e a romantic oaf?
TN: uHHHHHH, nO, i JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT, uHHH, lIKE IT,
VS: That is more of something Kanaya would go for.
TN: rIGHT, i'LL UHHHHH, gO SHOW HER,
VS: Wait.
TN: wHAT IS IT,

He dropped the mistletoe as she gripped his collar. Pulling him close she pressed her lips against his, he writhed a bit in surprise. She was actually following the rules of this mistletoe? Tavros could feel his mind go blank with nothing more than the thought of keeping this plant with him forever and always, much like he wished to do with Vriska. Wrapping his arms around her, they locked lips.
It was a truly romantic display.

MEANWHILE

John prances downstairs in his usual goofy manner. Hopping onto the couch he sits next to his father. This was the one time during the year he enjoyed his father’s cooking. The cake was delicious, the figgy pudding was so yummy. Dad pulled John in close, it was a time for a family movie, they would always watch Rudolf the red nosed reindeer and then maybe Con Air. John enjoyed this time together with his father more than he would ever admit to anyone. If you have ever sat down and had a moment in which all your differences and discrepancies are put aside, it was this time of year for John and his father. He would go to his computer later, but not just yet.

MOMENTS IN THE PAST

Jade eagerly awaits Karkat’s return. She sits there twiddling her fingers waiting. He is far too nervous, he shakes his head in disgust and begins speaking outloud to himself.

Show monologue

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Karkat Vantas began speaking to himself
KV: THIS IS NOT GOOD.
KV: WHAT DO I DO?
Tavros Nitram has invaded Karkat Vantas privacy.
TN: sOMETHING WRONG DUDE,
KV: OH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
KV: I AM JUST CONCERNED I HAVE DEVELOPED FEELINGS FOR THE JADE HUMAN.
TN: sO, uHHHH, wHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO,
KV: I DO NOT WANT TO LET HER KNOW I FEEL THIS WAY, GOG DAMIT IT I WAS WARNED ABOUT LOVE.
TN: i TOLD YOU DOG,
KV: I THINK I SHOULD TELL HER FACE TO FACE, BUT THAT COULD NEVER HAPPEN.
KV: SO I WILL BE A WORTHLESS LOVESTRUCK MUSCLEBEASTSHIT AND JUST SIT HERE.
TN: yOU, uHHHH, yOU SHOULD KISS THE GIRL,
KV: WHAT, WHY?
KV: HOW?
TN: wITH THIS,
Tavros Nitram has handed Karkat Vantas: item.Mistletoe
KV: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
TN: iF YOU GET IT BETWEEN YOU AND HER, sHE UHHH, hAS TO KISS YOU,
KV: IF YOU ARE SHITTING ME I AM MAKING YOU GO TO SLEEP.
KV: WITH THE GOGDAMN HORRORTERROS!
Karkat has begun ignoring Tavros Nitram.

He twiddles his fingers nervously, this is an awfully tricky thing, if it is true, he gets to kiss a sweet and beautiful girl. If not true, he will be embarrassed beyond belief. What to do, what to do.

MEANWHILE

John is upstairs now, the movies were quite possibly the best part of this Christmas besides the presents. Which were so awesome. John hops onto pesterchum and speaks to Rose.

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- - ectoBiologist [EB] has begun pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at ?? - -
EB: hey rose!
EB: merry Christmas!
TT: Oh, hello John.
TT: A merry Christmas to you too.
EB: i sent you a present!
TT: You did?
TT: My mother did say I got something in the mail.
EB: I think you will really like it!
TT: John, I appreciate this.
EB: its no big deal, I got one for Dave and Jade too.
TT: Yes, but I am sure they didn’t do this for you.
EB: do what?
- - tentacleTherapist [TT] has sent ectoBiologist [EB] file: mistletoe.png
EB: rose, what are you up to?
TT: *smooch*
EB: rose!
EB: I uhh…uhmmm…
TT: Well, are you going to ignore the rules of Christmas?
EB: …
EB: *smooch*

This is truly embarrassing, isn’t it? John and Rose kissing through a computer, It is not exactly their finest moments, but it is sweet. The sentiment is enough to make a grown man cry. Dad wipes a tear from his eye as he watches his son’s romance unfold. He couldn’t be prouder, she will make his son very happy.

MEANWHILE

Dave has engaged himself in an intense rap battle with his Bro. Words and junk is flying through the air at alarming speeds. Shit is gonna hit the fan soon, one of them will lose. They won’ stop till a winner is decided though, they’ll be at this all of Christmas night like every year, and each year they will both tire out, and just like each year, they’ll agree to share and fall asleep under the moonlight sky in the city. This year, Bro and Dave hope to see the stars in the sky for once, maybe even a shooting star. It won’t happen, but a boy and his brother can dream.

MEANWHILE

Karkat swallows his nervousness, its time to be a man, not a grubling. He sits back down in the chair and begins to type again, he bites his lip nervously, being so afraid of rejection, he can see Jade, but her expression is hard to comprehend.

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- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] has begun trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ?? - -
CG: I AM BACK, DID YOU MISS ME?
GG: I did actually.
CG: I WAS BEING RHETORICAL, YOU DID NOT NEED TO ANSWER THAT.
GG: oh sorry, I was being sarcastic anyway.
GG:
CG: IF YOU ARE BEING SARCASTIC WHY ARE YOU SO EMBARASSED?
GG: huh? I am not!
CG: DID YOU FORGET WE TROLLS CAN WATCH YOU AT ANY TIME.
CG: I AM PUTTING YOU ON MY NAUGHTY LIST FOR LYING.
GG: okay, okay!
GG: I did really miss you.
CG: STOP IT, YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL FLUSHED.
GG: oh nooooooo!
GG: don’t tell me you like me!
CG: OF COURSE NOT, I COULD NEVER YOU.
GG: you are forgetting we humans can see what you are doing right now.
CG: YOU ARE PULLING MY LEG.
CG: THAT IS ENTIRELY UNTRUE.
GG: its okay, you can admit it!
CG: NO, NEVER.
CG: WAIT
GG: you just admitted you would never admit it.
CG: GOD DAMMIT.
CG: FINE FINE
CG: I YOU JADE, ARE YOU HAPPY?!
GG: yes, very.
CG: JADE, YOU ARE…I AM UH
CG: I AM SHOCKED.
GG: its okay, it’s a little sudden, but I can feel it!
CG: OKAY, UHM, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

Tavros sneaks up behind Karkat and holds the mistletoe over his husktop’s screen. Karkat realizes whats going to happen, he leans for a kiss at the screen, Jade herself seems to be doing so as well. Off in the distance Vriska works her manipulatie magic and uses Becquerel to warp Jade into the troll’s location. Jade fell forward into a kiss with Karkat that was sloppy in nature and unexpected to say the least.

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Karkat Vantas has begun shouting at Tavros Nitram and Vriska Serket
KV: I HATE YOU BOTH SO VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW!
KV : I COULD JUST…MMFFF!!
Jade Harley has interrupted Karkat Vantas
JH: just shut up and kiss, the mistletoe has rules to follow!

Jade proceeds to lock lips with Karkat, it was truly embarrassing for Karkat. He couldn’t exactly resist though, her lips so warm to the touch. Their tongues danced together in a waltz within their locked lips. Vriska and Tavros watched for a moment before leaving with the rest of the trolls to give this moment the privacy it deserved, Becquerel however stayed to watch, being the protective guardian he is.

Its at a time like this one can only hope their holidays will be as happy, romantic, full of hope, and passion, as is these children's and troll's. To all, I wish you happy holidays, and a very merry new year.

Author's note

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THIS IS INCREDIBLY LONG and I probably should get around to color coding the text.

[Sushi Database]

The Note Desperation Plays, part eleven (cOUPLES)

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"And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
there will be an answer,
Let it be. " -The Rutles


"Uggggggggh, Tavros!" Vriska snapped. "Pull tighter! I dont have all d8y here!"

He was standing behind her, his fingers awkwardly hooked into the laces of her dress. It was an sexy, flashy corset dress, with spiderwebbing along the back, made especially for the corpsemourn. Kanaya had made outfits for everybody and had delivered them about a half hour ago. "I, uh, am pulling pretty hard. It's just, when I pull the strings, I think I am also pulling you, so it-"

"For crying out loud!" She reached behind her back and grabbed the wrist of his other hand, moving it to rest flat against her back. "You push 8ack against me and then you pull with your other hand! This really should not 8e so hard for you to understand!"

"I just, dont want to hurt you, by accident. Be patient, please?"

She sighed dramatically. "Fine! 8ut get on with it!"

He pulled against the corset, and Vriska shivered at the touch of his hand pressing against the skin of her back through the spiderwebbing. Like everything else about him, Tavros' blood circulation was slow. As a result, his hands were cold pretty much all the time. She was still getting used to it. She was still getting used to him not being weak, too. It had taken everyone some time to notice since they had entered the Medium together, but in terms of sheer upper body strength, only Equius surpassed Tavros. The kid had dragged himself around for the last sweep or so of his life and it showed. "Okay, that's good. That's plenty tight."

Tavros grimaced, stepping back. "That looks really, uh..."

"Good? Hot? Sophisticated?"

"Um." he scratched his head at the base of his horns. "Painful."

"It's a corset, Tavros! It's supposed to 8e a little painful. 8esides, it's not as 8ad as it looks, I'm mostly skin and 8ones." She chuckled uncomfortably which just made Tavros more uneasy. It was hard to be around Vriska when she got into a mood of self-deprecation, so he had to be careful not to encourage it. She was not an easy girl to moirally with.

"I'm just, I'm not sure if Kanaya is really being nice, in sending that. Are you sure, you can actually breathe?"

"I can 8reathe through my nose, so shove it! Now stand still and I'll do your tie."

She turned and threw the tie around his neck, making sure to give the big side plenty of slack. There was a knock from the door to the hallway, but they both ignored it. Karkat again, probably. He'd been trying to get in for the better part of the day, but he hadn't been able to get the lady spider away from her web. If she w8ted long enough, she figured, an emergency would crop up and he would Need her and he would 8e forced to apologize. It was just a matter of w8ting him out.

"Hmm," she said, straightening his collar. "I think you look 8etter without the tie."

"Are you sure? Because, I dont mind the tie."

"Mmmmmmmmyeah, let's lose the tie." She loosened the knot and pulled the tie off his neck. "That kind of serious look is just going to drag your outfit down."

"Okay, if you say so."

"I do say so," she said. "Are you and Equius all ready for your thing?"

"Yeah, uh, mostly. We have our synthesizer, and the beat machine, set up in the pod bay, already. It should be, pretty awesome. I think, uh, Gamzee would like it."

"Good," she smiled. "You and Equius are getting along alright, huh? Th8's a little warped."

"Warped, for him to be friends with me, or for me to be friends with him?"

"8oth, maybe?" She stepped back and looked over his outfit. Tavros was wearing a black nudie suit with tassels and fringe along the collar. On anyone else it would have looked a little tacky, but Tavros pulled it off with maximum sincerity. He drove it home with little horned skulls on the cuff-links. So badass, she was almost a little jealous. Not that she didn't like her own dress, it was totally hot, but maybe a little more vulernable a look than she really wanted to put out, and why was Tavros staring at her like that? Oh shit, had he said something?

"Oh shit, did you say something?"

"Ummmmmmmm. Yeah, I had said, that seem people think it is a little warped, that we are even friends."

"Yeah, well, whatever!" Vriska walked over to her full-length mirror (like all mirrors in her room, it had a large spiderwebbing crack in it, but she could still see herself well enough.) She did a little turn in the mirror. "I mean sure, you're kind of a dwee8, 8ut I'm glad to have you as a moirail."

"Yeah, well, I think more people are confused, as to why I'm your moirail, actually."

"Mm," Vriska said, choosing not to answer that one. "Should I wear my hair up or down?"

"Probably up, would be nice."

She disappeared into her private bathroom and there was the sound of running water. Tavros fidgeted a little in her absence and went to check and see who was at the door. He knew better than to open it, of course, that would only bring trouble down on him and anger Vriska. But he couldn't just stand there not knowing while the person knocked and knocked. When Vriska returned, she sat down and began combing her wet hair, getting all the tangles out. "Hey, Tav, how much time do we have?"

"Like, an hour, still."

"Kaaaaaaaay. Think you could run down to Kanaya's and 8orrow a hair8and from her?"

"Uhhhh," Tavros said. "Yeah, I could, but I'll have to open the door."

Vriska gave him a blank look. "Yeah. That's how they work."

"Right, but, have you forgotten, that there is someone at the door, who you have been avoiding."

Vriska had forgotten, actually. The noise was easy to tune out over time. But now that she remembered, she had to marvel at how relentless Karkat was. He was going to make his kismesis very miserable someday, whoever he found.

Vriska sighed and broke away from Tavros, marching towards the door. "Fair enough!" She fumbled with the lock on the door. Technically, all the doors in the hive had magnetic locks, which had been upgraded by Equius when they'd moved in the accommodate Alternian numeral keypads. Vriska had wanted something a little more personal to her door, so she had pointlessly welded on a series of chain locks, all made out of gold. Their only purpose was to make the unlocking process take longer. "When I open this door you'd 8etter have a damn good excuse for spending the d8y stalking me, Kark8! What is it going to take to get you to understand that no... means... no!" She swung open the door.

In the doorway stood Terezi, wearing a freshly-alchemized black suit variant on her usual outfit, with teal scale-shaped cufflinks.

"1 w4s st4rt1ng to th1nk you w3r3n't 4t hom3."

"...Rezi. Geeeeeeeez!" Vriska's face broke into a big old fake grin. "Why didn't you message me if you wanted to talk?"

"B3c4us3 1 w4nt3d to t4lk." Terezi leaned forward and took a whiff from the cracked doorway. "1s th4t T4vros 1ns1d3?"

"Yeah." Vriska stepped out into the hallway and shut the door behind her. "We're just getting ready for the corpsemourn, actually! So I dont have time to talk. May8e later? 8ut thanks for stopping 8y, it's gr8 to see you! You can tell Kark8 I didn't do it, and that he can fuck off forever."

"K4rk4t d1dn't 4sk m3 to com3," Terezi said. "4nd h3 do3snt th1nk you d1d 1t. 1 dont th1nk 4nyon3 th1nks you d1d 1t."

"Really. Well, gee! Th8's a load of my mind!"

"Stop t4lk1ng l1k3 th4t 4nd l1st3n to m3, Vr1sk4. 1 know who d1d 1t."

Vriska raised an eyebrow. "Reeeeeeeeally."

"Y3s. R34lly."

"Was it Eridan?"

"No. 1t w4snt on3 of us. 1t w4s on3 of th3 hum4ns."

"The humans..." Vriska stared off into space, frowning. "John did this?"

"No, 1t w4snt John."

"Of course not! Of course not. John's a team player." Vriska nodded vehemently. "No, it was that bitch with the pink text, wasn't it!"

"Stop gu3ss1ng. W3'r3 go1ng to h4v3 4 ch4nc3 to t4k3 h1m down ton1ght, 4ft3r th3 corps3mourn. H3's go1ng to str1k3 4g41n, but w3 n33d to b3 r34dy 4nd th1s n33ds to b3 low-k3y. 1 n33d our b3st pr3d4tor on bo4rd w1th m3. Th4t's you, Vr1sk4."

Vriska nodded again. "So it was Dave."

"N3v3rm1nd who 1t w4s."

"Okay, fine, 8ut it's Dave." She leaned against her door, her arms crossed in a pose of insufferable smugness. "O8viously. I knew he was 8ad news, 8ut dont worry, I'm not going to say I told you so, 8ecause I'm going to take the high road this time."

"You dont 3v3n know wh4t th3 h1gh ro4d looks l1k3."

"I know that I dont have time for you right now! Unless you are half as good at matching accessories to outfits as Tavros is, which I honestly dou8t, since you dress yourself as if you were..." she raised a hand to her mouth in sarcastic faux-embarassment. "Oh wow, what a huge faux pas! I am such the 8itch."

"Y34h, 1 c4nt 1m4g1n3 wh4t 1 would w34r w1th th4t. P3rh4ps you could br1ng out th3 gutt3rhuss13 look w1th a sopor sc4r4b 1n your h41r? Slopp1ly 4ppl13d r3d f1shw4x 4cross your l1ps? 1'm sur3 lots of p3opl3 dr3ss for 4 corps3mourn 4s 1f th3y w3r3 look1ng up to tr4wl th3 str33t p1ck1ng up y3llowblood3d-"

Vriska had had enough of that line of thought, and with a toothy snarl she knocked Terezi back into the opposite wall. Terezi rested her hands on Vriska's arm and the girl's grip loosened slightly... but she did not let go. She curled her lip with unrestrained hatred.

"The last time you 8rought me in on a job you hung me out to dry and the rest of the group still doesn't trust me. You 8acksta88ed me harder than I've ever 8acksta88ed anyone, and ok8y, I've done my fair share. Wh8 are you doing here, Pyrope? Did you get amnesia? I didn't. I'm w8ting. I'm going to 8e patient with my pay8ack. Now, right now, I'm going to set you down and then you're going to have five seconds to leave, or we'll 8e having two corpsemourns tonight."

"Wh4t 1f 1 could f1x th1ngs b3tw33n you 4nd k4n4ya?" T3r3z1 whispered, still pinned to the wall.

Vriska stared into her eyes. Her shades. "There's nothing to fix."

"Oh, no k1dd1ng. Your dr3ss 1s lov3ly, cl34rly you two 4r3 on sp34k1ng t3rms 4g41n."

Vriska let go of Terezi and took a step back, glaring with her lip stuck out. "...I think it looks good."

"You would. 1t's 4 l1ttl3 too fl4shy for 4 corp3mourn, but sur3, 1t's f1n3. N3v3rm1nd th3 dr3ss. N3v3rm1nd K4n4y4 and n3v3rm1nd m3, for th4t m4tt3r. Th1s 1snt 4bout us, 1ts 4bout th3 b4st4rd who k1ll3d G4mz33."

"O8viously Dave."

"You'r3 th3 only on3 1 c4n count on for th1s. You'r3 4 pr3d4tor, 4nd th4t's wh4t 1 n33d to br1ng h1m 1n. Plus, you h4v3 4cc3ss to th3 h34t s3nsor surv31ll4nc3 foot4g3, wh1ch 1 n33d for th1s pl4n to work. Com3 on, th1nk 4bout 1t."

"Think a8out it? Terezi, come oooooooon! Wh8 are you even doing here? Did you think I wasn't going to tell you to fuck off? After wh8 you did to me?"

"1'm not 4sk1ng you to do 1t for fr33."

"Oh yeah, like boonchumpchange really matters to me now. Too little, too late, Pyrope!"

"Wh3n h3 1s c4ught," Terezi continued, "4nd c4ught for good, 1 w1ll prov1d3 you w1th sol1d, d3f1n1t1v3 3v1d3nc3 th4t 1 k1ll3d John. Sol1d 3v1d3nc3 th4t G4mz33 1s d3ad b3c4us3 of m3."

Vriska stiffened and narrowed her eyes. "You killed John?"

"By 4cc1d3nt, y3s."

"8y accident? You- th8's-" She paced away from Terezi, shaking her head with digust. "8y accident?!"

"Vr1sk4..."

"Th8's the worst w8y you can kill someone! And you didn't tell your matesprit? Th8 you offed his would-be kismesis?" She laughed pityingly. "You are so fucked!"

"Y34h. 1 know."

"Alright." Vriska crossed her arms again and smirked with cruel glee. "Ok8y, Terezi. I'll hear out your little plan, we'll kick the sucky human's ass, and then I'll proceed to wreck your quadrants like a rhinodozer 8eetle in a wriggler patch. How can I refuse a Scourge Sister in need?"

~

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxilliatrix [GA]
CA: kan
CA: kan havve you left yet or wwhat
CA: if youre still at your computer throww me a fuckin bone here
GA: I Was About To Leave
GA: What Do You Need
CA: uh
CA: wwell its like
CA: no one has really told me wwhat wwe're doin at this thing
CA: i mean am i supposed to havve something prepared to say or are wwe just gonna do a moment of silence or wwhat
GA: Whatever Strikes You As Appropriate I Suppose
GA: If You Have Something To Get Off Your Chest To Gamzee Now Would Be The Time
CA: i think last night wwas the time
CA: i barely kneww the guy he didnt evven know my name
GA: I Find That Extremely Unlikely
GA: Didn't You Save His Life Once
CA: ugh
GA: Eridan Corpsemourns Are For The Living As Much As The Dead If Not Moreso
GA: If You Have Nothing To Say Then You Shouldn't Worry About Saying Something
CA: i wwant to say somethin i mean fuck kan if i cant givve evveryone hope then wwhats evven my role
CA: maybe there's gonna be a miracle coming maybe i should say somethin about that
GA: No That Would Be An Awful Thing For You To Say
GA: Just Because Magic Is Real Does Not Mean Death Does Not Have Consequences
GA: I Inspected Gamzee's Body Personally
GA: He's Not Only Merely Dead
GA: He's Really Quite Sincerely Dead
CA: wwhat the fuck kind of rhyme is that thats some creepy shit kan
GA: I Know Im A Little On Edge
GA: Thinking About The Way Things Used To Be
CA: wwere you thinkin about the surfin thing again
GA: Yes
GA: Feferi Happened To Raise The Topic
CA: that friggin girl
GA: Actually It Was Quite Therapeutic To Type It All Out
GA: But I Am Rather Dreading Seeing His Face Again
GA: We Will Never Be A Full Team Again
GA: We Are Broken
CA: man thats the kind of mopey shit thats gonna bring us dowwn kan
CA: i can feel it
CA: there's gonna be a miracle for sure
GA: That Is The Worst Advice Eridan
GA: But I Hope You Are Right
CA: yeah
CA: wwell anywway
CA: thanks for the secret wwizard robes i guess
CA: i'll meet you at the pod bay
GA: Indeed
GA: See You There
GA:
CA:

~

"Aradia."

The girl opened her eyes. Extending from the back of the base of her neck, power cords connected her into the wall. This was the first time she'd moved in hours. Her expression, as usual, was blank. Equius had hoped she would be annoyed at being disturbed. Or angry. Or perhaps sad, distraught over Gamzee's death. Or anything, really. But he knew he was hoping for too much. Her robot body had restored her emotions, in theory, but old habits died hard.

"is there s0mething y0u need, bel0ved?"

Beloved. That stung, a little. An outsider to their relationship might have taken Aradia's question, with its entirely neutral intonation, as a casual greeting to a lover. Equius knew better- it was scorn. He had suggested the term early in their relationship, when she had asked him exactly how he viewed the two of them in terms of interpersonal relationships. Aradia only used it when she wanted to mock him for his affection. She had taken to the c001, a100f mannerisms of a b100 b100d far better than Equius could have imagined, or hoped.

"The Corpsemourn is to begin in an hour, in Pod Bay 2. You do not appear to be ready to leave yet."

"i'm n0t g0ing," she said. "i am m0nit0ring an abn0rmality in the generat0r."

"You aren't going." He sounded shocked, and a little disgusted. "The ceremony will be brief. You can afford the distraction."

"i will decide what i can and cann0t aff0rd, equius," she said, and she closed her eyes again.

Rage bubbled up through Equius. He couldn't really say he was surprised. Aradia had little interest in the rest of the trolls, or the social niceties of interacting with them. She hadn't even left this lab since Equius had set it up as their room. But to not even attend a friend's corpsemourn... even she had to be more sensitive than that. Wasn't she?

"Aradia," he said. "I must insist that you attend. You are a b100 b100d now, and that distin%ion comes with certain responsibilities. As a noble, you are expected-"

"i am a n0 bl00d," she said, interrupting him. "the blue liquid within this machine is n0t bl00d, equius. it is preservative. y0ur quaint hem0spectrum d0es n0t apply t0 me."

"It is not! It is not a mere preservative, it is b100d, it was my b100d, and you have a duty to-"

"it ceased to be bl00d when y0u put it in this n0n0rganic shell. i will n0t discuss this further. clearly, all0wing y0u t0 persist in this fantasy has been a mistake, if y0u think it gives y0u a right t0 tell me-"

"Then forget duty!" he said, and the words were sour in his mouth. Forget duty? How could he endorse such a statement? But he had to reach her, somehow. "Forget the hemospectrum, and forget the honor due to be paid to the memory of a fallen superior. You need only know that this ceremony is important to me. I want you to be there. You will be there."

She opened her eyes again, and while her expression was as neutral as always, a glimmer in her eyes betrayed something dangerous. "are y0u telling me what i will d0?"

"Y-yes." He wiped the sweat from his brow. Damn his nervous perspiration! It was if he lived with his noble heart upon his forehead. "If I am still something that you consider important to you, you will come to Gamzee's corpsemourn."

There was a pause while Aradia processed this ultimatum. Then she reached behind her head and unplugged herself from the cables extending into the wall.

"i will need y0ur assistance standing, then. i have n0t m0ved in five days."

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okay i have to admit this new thread terrifies me
it moves so fast and there's always so much to read o_o so I've been avoiding it a little
but what was really taking up my time the most was stuff from the next part and the the part after that so we'll see how long it takes to release some more. I've been like crazy busy in real life.

[QuetzaDrake]

Although I can't wait for you to write Vriska's... also Nepeta's and Equius's, actually.

haha is it sad that Vriska's one of three trolls who I feel actually DOES deserve the Keter designation at this point? Jegus.

Not at all, considering she would fit in somewhat well with something like SCP-035 (while they were still trying to talk to it, anyway). Manipul8ion and such.

[Ganato]

DARK FICS EVERYWHERE!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!

[raequiem]

Oh god This is huge, I have spent my morning on this.
Totally worth it too.
Merry Christmas early on,so to all I give this fanfic!

Rules of the mistletoe

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The Holidays were coming very soon. It was a time of year filled with joy and caring, but for one particular individual it was more of a competition between family members than an actually emotional event, in the household of Rose Lalonde. Each year she buys a new alcoholic cooler or even some fine imported wine from the Philippines. Rose is against drinking, and dislikes her mother’s drinking, but she is following Dave’s advice of being ironic with this. Being an enabler, and simultaneously signing her up for an Alcoholics anonymous group therapy session is what Rose believes might be the perfect amount of irony to beat her mother’s usual skill.
At this point and time she is currently wrapping the presents and speaking with Dave.
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- - tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at ?? - -
TT: Hello Dave, I have decided to take your advice this year.
TG: sup
TG: oh so you got her something ironic
TG: about time you start doing this shit right
TT: I think in the end it will all be worth it and I will have shown her who is truly the better woman.
TG: I dont get why youre so worked up about this each year
TT: She is an awful woman who has mocked me her entire life, there is much worse I could do.
TT: She should be thankful I am not trying to find her a man whom loves drinking, and signing them both up for AA.
TG: okay just so were clear you mean ‘alcoholics anonymous’ and not ‘apocalypsearisen’
TT: Do trolls even celebrate Christmas?
TG: fuck if i know
TT: It would be interesting to find out, you get on that.
TT: I need to finish wrapping these gifts.
TG: later
- - tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at ?? - -

Rose didn’t need to have an anything distracting her from this contest, she had to beat her mother this year.

MEANWHILE

Dave has had his mind stimulated for the first time in quite a while, do trolls celebrate Christmas? Do they call it Trollmas? Is there a Trollsus Christ? These are some pretty dumb questions, but he doesn’t have to worry about Bro and Christmas. Each year Bro gets more smuppets for himself, Dave gets some sweet new records and audio devices, and the two of them usually duel it out in a hashmap rap battle for the biggest present, which is usually the newest video gaming console.
Hopping onto his computer he brings up pesterchum and tries asking one of the trolls for himself.

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- - turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering adiosToreador [AT] at ?? - -
TG: sup
AT: uHHH, hI,
AT: i NEVER THOUGH YOU WOULD SPEAK TO ANY OF US, uHH, wILLINGLY,
AT: tHIS MUST BE VERY IMPORTANT,
TG: sure is
TG: do you trolls have a Christmas
TG: with the presents and trees and shit
AT: oF COURSE WE HAVE CHRISTMAS, wHY WOULD YOU DOUBT THAT,
TG: because you guys are a weird ass species from another planet
TG: do you even put a tree in your house
AT: yOU MEAN HIVE, aND UHHHH, yES WE DO,
TG: so you put presents under it
AT: aBSOLUTELY, rUFIO LEFT ME A REALLY NICE PRESENT LAST YEAR,
TG: isnt he that guy in your head or some shit
TG: like an imaginary friend
AT: i, uHHHH, wELL YES BUT HE STILL PROVIDES COMPANY FOR ME,
TG: that shit is just embarrassing
TG: keep going on this shit is getting interesting
AT: oH, uHHH, oKAY,
AT: wE GET PRESENTS FOR OUR MATESPRIT AND, oUR UHHH, kISMESIS EVERY YEAR,
AT: iTS LIKE UHHH, aPOLOGIZING TO KEEP A FRIEND AND PUNCHING A FOE TO KEEP A FOE, i THINK,
TG: that is one hell of an analaogy
AT: a WHAT,
TG: comparing shit to other shit that may or not be like the other shit
TG: aight
AT: uHHHH, i THINK I GET IT,
TG: so that’s all
TG: just hugs and punches
AT: wHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING,
TG: fucking mistletoe that’s what
AT: uHHH, wHAT IS THAT,
TG: aight let me explain
TG: lets say you get this fine babe underneath this plant thing you hang up somewhere
TG: then you get under there too
TG: law says she has to kiss you
AT: yOU, uHHHH, yOU MUST BE JOKING, tHAT IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE,
TG: sure aint
TG: try it this is what the plant looks like
- - turntechGodhead sent adiosToreador: mistletoe.png
AT: i WILL GO PRINT THIS OUT TO UHHHHH, sEE IF IT WORKS,
TG: good luck
- - adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at ?? - -
TG: shit dog
TG: I was joking

Dave slaps a hand right to his face, his palm paps him hard. He probably should’ve mentioned it was a joke sooner, now Tavros is gonna make an even bigger idiot of himself than usual. Dave has no idea who Tavros will try it on, but at the very least he knows not to try it on…

MEANWHILE

Jade is currently sitting in her room alone, the holidays are a little saddening for her. Her grandfather doesn’t get her any presents and Becquerel is a sweet dog, but she doubts he would go out and deliberately steal for Jade to be happy. She knows Rose is busy with her mother, Dave’s Christmas is just so cool, but John usually sends Jade a present of some kind. At least he tries to.
Walking into the main room she sits next to the distinguished house guests and hugs them tightly.

“Merry Christmas you guys…”

She can feel a tear coming up, she really shouldn’t cry.

- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ?? - -
CG: STOP YOUR CRYING THIS INSTANT YOU MISERABLE NOOKSNIFFER.

She sees a rather rude message, Karkat isn’t good at cheering anyone up, but at least its company she doesn’t normally get.

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- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ?? - -
CG: STOP YOUR CRYING THIS INSTANT YOU MISERABLE NOOKSNIFFER.
GG: hi there karkat.
CG: IS THIS WHAT YOU HUMANS DO ON YOUR EARTH CHRISTMAS?
CG: CRY LIKE FUCKING GRUBLINGS?
GG: not usually, no :’C
CG: SO WHY ARE YOU?
GG: I live alone with my dog and stuffed grandpa
GG: I don’t have much of a family to spend time with
CG: WHAT ABOUT JOHN?
GG: he is a close friend, but we aren’t family.
GG: I’d feel bad to impose
CG: YOU ARE EMBARASSING YOURSELF, STOP IT THIS INSTANT.
CG: A TROLL SPENDS CHRISTMAS JUST LIKE YOU DO.
GG: that’s right, you don’t see your parents.
CG: I AM MY OWN FATHER.
GG: what? >
CG: FIRST OFF, IT IS A LONG STORY.
CG: SECONDLY, THAT FACE IS NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE TO MAKE.
GG: well I just made it!
CG: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SILLY AND USELESS.
GG: thanks.
CG: OH GOD YOU ARE NOT SMILING AT ME.
CG: STOP THAT THIS INSTANT.
GG: sorry, I am just happy that I have company to talk to.
CG: DO NOT GET ALL MUSHY ON ME.
GG: I wasn’t! <:O
CG: IT SURE SEEMED LIKE IT.
GG: I promise I wasn’t!
CG: OKAY GOOD.
CG: LOOK I HAVE TO GO, I WILL COMFORT YOU LATER, OKAY?
GG: okay. :’)
- - gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at ?? - -

Jade wiped the tears from her eyes, it was nice to have company, even if it was just gray text from an alternate species with confusing habits. Maybe he likes her, she doesn’t really know. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought about it, she was feeling flushed in the face. She shook her head, she was just so happy to be talking to someone.

MEANWHILE

Tavros sneaks over to Vriska and holds it over her head. He chuckles for a moment before she turns to him, his look of confidence goes away quickly. Her stern stare and attitude make even Rufio shake in his leotard.

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Vriska Serket [VS] began speaking to Tavros Nitram [TN]
VS: What are you doing?
TN: i UHHHH, i WAS JUST HOLDING UP A PRETTY PLANT TO SHOW IT TO YOU,
VS: Is that mistletoe? Are you trying to 8e a romantic oaf?
TN: uHHHHHH, nO, i JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT, uHHH, lIKE IT,
VS: That is more of something Kanaya would go for.
TN: rIGHT, i'LL UHHHHH, gO SHOW HER,
VS: Wait.
TN: wHAT IS IT,

He dropped the mistletoe as she gripped his collar. Pulling him close she pressed her lips against his, he writhed a bit in surprise. She was actually following the rules of this mistletoe? Tavros could feel his mind go blank with nothing more than the thought of keeping this plant with him forever and always, much like he wished to do with Vriska. Wrapping his arms around her, they locked lips.
It was a truly romantic display.

MEANWHILE

John prances downstairs in his usual goofy manner. Hopping onto the couch he sits next to his father. This was the one time during the year he enjoyed his father’s cooking. The cake was delicious, the figgy pudding was so yummy. Dad pulled John in close, it was a time for a family movie, they would always watch Rudolf the red nosed reindeer and then maybe Con Air. John enjoyed this time together with his father more than he would ever admit to anyone. If you have ever sat down and had a moment in which all your differences and discrepancies are put aside, it was this time of year for John and his father. He would go to his computer later, but not just yet.

MOMENTS IN THE PAST

Jade eagerly awaits Karkat’s return. She sits there twiddling her fingers waiting. He is far too nervous, he shakes his head in disgust and begins speaking outloud to himself.

Show monologue

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Karkat Vantas began speaking to himself
KV: THIS IS NOT GOOD.
KV: WHAT DO I DO?
Tavros Nitram has invaded Karkat Vantas privacy.
TN: sOMETHING WRONG DUDE,
KV: OH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
KV: I AM JUST CONCERNED I HAVE DEVELOPED FEELINGS FOR THE JADE HUMAN.
TN: sO, uHHHH, wHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO,
KV: I DO NOT WANT TO LET HER KNOW I FEEL THIS WAY, GOG DAMIT IT I WAS WARNED ABOUT LOVE.
TN: i TOLD YOU DOG,
KV: I THINK I SHOULD TELL HER FACE TO FACE, BUT THAT COULD NEVER HAPPEN.
KV: SO I WILL BE A WORTHLESS LOVESTRUCK MUSCLEBEASTSHIT AND JUST SIT HERE.
TN: yOU, uHHHH, yOU SHOULD KISS THE GIRL,
KV: WHAT, WHY?
KV: HOW?
TN: wITH THIS,
Tavros Nitram has handed Karkat Vantas: item.Mistletoe
KV: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
TN: iF YOU GET IT BETWEEN YOU AND HER, sHE UHHH, hAS TO KISS YOU,
KV: IF YOU ARE SHITTING ME I AM MAKING YOU GO TO SLEEP.
KV: WITH THE GOGDAMN HORRORTERROS!
Karkat has begun ignoring Tavros Nitram.

He twiddles his fingers nervously, this is an awfully tricky thing, if it is true, he gets to kiss a sweet and beautiful girl. If not true, he will be embarrassed beyond belief. What to do, what to do.

MEANWHILE

John is upstairs now, the movies were quite possibly the best part of this Christmas besides the presents. Which were so awesome. John hops onto pesterchum and speaks to Rose.

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- - ectoBiologist [EB] has begun pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at ?? - -
EB: hey rose!
EB: merry Christmas!
TT: Oh, hello John.
TT: A merry Christmas to you too.
EB: i sent you a present!
TT: You did?
TT: My mother did say I got something in the mail.
EB: I think you will really like it!
TT: John, I appreciate this.
EB: its no big deal, I got one for Dave and Jade too.
TT: Yes, but I am sure they didn’t do this for you.
EB: do what?
- - tentacleTherapist [TT] has sent ectoBiologist [EB] file: mistletoe.png
EB: rose, what are you up to?
TT: *smooch*
EB: rose!
EB: I uhh…uhmmm…
TT: Well, are you going to ignore the rules of Christmas?
EB: …
EB: *smooch*

This is truly embarrassing, isn’t it? John and Rose kissing through a computer, It is not exactly their finest moments, but it is sweet. The sentiment is enough to make a grown man cry. Dad wipes a tear from his eye as he watches his son’s romance unfold. He couldn’t be prouder, she will make his son very happy.

MEANWHILE

Dave has engaged himself in an intense rap battle with his Bro. Words and junk is flying through the air at alarming speeds. Shit is gonna hit the fan soon, one of them will lose. They won’ stop till a winner is decided though, they’ll be at this all of Christmas night like every year, and each year they will both tire out, and just like each year, they’ll agree to share and fall asleep under the moonlight sky in the city. This year, Bro and Dave hope to see the stars in the sky for once, maybe even a shooting star. It won’t happen, but a boy and his brother can dream.

MEANWHILE

Karkat swallows his nervousness, its time to be a man, not a grubling. He sits back down in the chair and begins to type again, he bites his lip nervously, being so afraid of rejection, he can see Jade, but her expression is hard to comprehend.

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- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] has begun trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ?? - -
CG: I AM BACK, DID YOU MISS ME?
GG: I did actually.
CG: I WAS BEING RHETORICAL, YOU DID NOT NEED TO ANSWER THAT.
GG: oh sorry, I was being sarcastic anyway.
GG:
CG: IF YOU ARE BEING SARCASTIC WHY ARE YOU SO EMBARASSED?
GG: huh? I am not!
CG: DID YOU FORGET WE TROLLS CAN WATCH YOU AT ANY TIME.
CG: I AM PUTTING YOU ON MY NAUGHTY LIST FOR LYING.
GG: okay, okay!
GG: I did really miss you.
CG: STOP IT, YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL FLUSHED.
GG: oh nooooooo!
GG: don’t tell me you like me!
CG: OF COURSE NOT, I COULD NEVER YOU.
GG: you are forgetting we humans can see what you are doing right now.
CG: YOU ARE PULLING MY LEG.
CG: THAT IS ENTIRELY UNTRUE.
GG: its okay, you can admit it!
CG: NO, NEVER.
CG: WAIT
GG: you just admitted you would never admit it.
CG: GOD DAMMIT.
CG: FINE FINE
CG: I YOU JADE, ARE YOU HAPPY?!
GG: yes, very.
CG: JADE, YOU ARE…I AM UH
CG: I AM SHOCKED.
GG: its okay, it’s a little sudden, but I can feel it!
CG: OKAY, UHM, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

Tavros sneaks up behind Karkat and holds the mistletoe over his husktop’s screen. Karkat realizes whats going to happen, he leans for a kiss at the screen, Jade herself seems to be doing so as well. Off in the distance Vriska works her manipulatie magic and uses Becquerel to warp Jade into the troll’s location. Jade fell forward into a kiss with Karkat that was sloppy in nature and unepected to say the least.

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Karkat Vantas has begun shouting at Tavros Nitram and Vriska Serket
KV: I HATE YOU BOTH SO VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW!
KV : I COULD JUST…MMFFF!!
Jade Harley has interrupted Karkat Vantas
JH: just shut up and kiss, the mistletoe has rules to follow!

Jade proceeds to lock lips with Karkat, it was truly embarrassing for Karkat. He couldn’t exactly resist though, her lips so warm to the touch. Their tongues danced together in a waltz within their locked lips. Vriska and Tavros watched for a moment before leaving with the rest of the trolls to give this moment the privacy it deserved, Becquerel however stayed to watch, being the protective guardian he is.

Its at a time like this one can only hope their holidays will be as happy, romantic, full of hope, and passion, as is these children's and troll's. To all, I wish you happy holidays, and a very merry new year.

Author's note

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THIS IS INCREDIBLY LONG and I probably should get around to color coding the text.

Aw man, dat Christmas. Adorable fluffy goodness. Tavros is a precious little angel, and the thing with Dave and Bro made my heart ache.

[Aerodactylus]

@Sushi: Man, just when I think I am doing pretty well with my fic, you just come along and post THAT, and utterly destroy my confidence. CHARACTERIZATION! FLOWING DIALOG! COOL CLOTHING DESIGNS! You are just too awesome, my friend.

@Satai: I know right?! I'm really rather unduly proud of myself for coming up with that.

[Graven_Image]

Item #: SCP-1025-4

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Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: See main article. SCP-1025-4 poses minimal threat. However, SCP-1025-4 is not to be transported or interred near SCP-1025-7 or SCP-1025-8.

Description: SCP-1025-4 is so far the most “normal” specimen of SCP-1025 thus far encountered. The subject’s horns are rather small compared to other specimens’, and its blood is, unlike the others, the same shade as an unaugmented human. However, its skin is the standard grey seen in most specimens of SCP-1025.

These attributes suggest that SCP-1025-4 is possibly an [DATA EXPUNGED]. If so, it may be possible to find a cure [DATA EXPUNGED]

The only defining feature of SCP-1025-4 is its temper. SCP-1025-4 is easily angered, and will quickly resort to physical violence. Whether this is a side effect of the possible [DATA EXPUNGED] remains to be seen. In any case, SCP-1025-4 displays no extranormal abilities, and can be safely detained with procedures normally used for D-Class Personnel.

Addendum 1025-4a: If recaptured, do not inter SCP-1025-4 near SCP-1025-16. Previous events involving the objects led to XX casualties, as well as Incident 1025X.

[Aerodactylus]

Graven! Sir(or Madame)! You are just blowing me away with these things! I imagine nothing would get Karkat's dander up more than reading this dossier. Also, it's fun to have a good idea for once of what's behind [DATA EXPUNGED].

[QuetzaDrake]

Hah, the possibiltiy of SCP just thinking he's a mutated human due to his lack of dangerous powers is pretty hilarious. I would loved to see a transcript log of them trying to talk to him while he's shouting and cursing.

[Sionnan]

*A wild Writer appears!*

Contribution below. It's ironic. ... /irony (/sarcasm) (Okay I'm done.)

Oh yeah, and uh spoilers within. Don't fuck me up if you break your brain.

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He's dreamt of his death sporadically for the past 13 years. Usually it's when he least expects it- when he dozes off at work, on the couch at home in front of the TV, right after he's had a really good day. Or when he and Dave have to huddle together on the futon because he forgot to pay the heating bill again, and it's pretty fucking cold this high up, neighbors radiating heat notwithstanding.

It's little more than a handful of nightmarish sensations. A blade in his chest- somewhere near his heart, but not piercing it, and he has the distinct feeling that was done on purpose to maximize his suffering and make a point.

He can't figure out what it is, but okay, whatever, he rolls with it.

It's hot.

Generally you can't smell shit in dreams, but everything smells like melting plastic, oxygen getting consumed by fire, hot metal. And blood. Fresh blood near his face, and burning blood by his hands.

Little tremors down his arms and legs. Big ones in his lungs, gasping in and out air and it makes him hurt holy shit how it hurts.

A smile. It is a stark white smile, with dark articulations of pointed teeth in a face swarmed with black.

But somehow, it's all okay. And just as he's reaching out to touch something at his side- he can't quite tell what, but he knows exactly what it is, and he knows it needs comfort, he wakes up.

He's always crying.

Thank God he's usually alone, because it's kind of hard to explain why a guy who's closer to thirty than twenty is crying in his sleep, and so he mops himself off and goes on with his day. It's a little jarring, so he sometimes does shit that makes Dave go all high alert, like accidentally putting a fork in the microwave with the bowl of canned chili. He can mostly pass stuff off like that as retroactively cool, but when Dave is with him when he wakes up with tears on his face, it's a little harder.

Then, he's not the ultimate of Ironic Cool, and for a few minutes Dave can see another side of his brother that would maybe scare him, if he wasn't always trying to keep up a poker face. Dave wakes up to his Bro moving around too much, and when he doesn't respond to several elbow-jabs to the ribs, he turns around to hand him a tongue lashing, but at this distance, he can smell the tears as much as he can see them.

"Are you okay?" His voice is so small that he seems all of the 12 years he really is. He Needs An Adult, and right now, the only adult available is not acting like one.

So Bro sniffles, sucking back snot and a suspicious aftertaste of blood. He's his Bro, after all, and his Bro's the fucking epitome of cool.

Oh who's he fucking. That dream always shakes him up.

Instead, he wraps his arms around his younger brother, tucking his chin over the mess of fair hair that matches his. He smells like freshly bathed kid, not yet stenchy with puberty, and he draws in a deep breath, and lets it out. It shudders, even if he doesn't want it to.

Dave doesn't push at him, or ask him anything else, or complain. Instead, he laces his own skinny arms around his brother's waist, instinctively clutching at his source of protection. In the dark of the apartment, it feels like he's waiting.

Bro, not entirely certain of what he's waiting for, decides to fill the silence instead. He gently starts to rap out improvized lullabies, half-singing and half cadence, cupping the back of his little brother's head with one hand, the other firmly clutching the skinny side.

Gradually, Dave relaxes, the rhythm and proximity to his brother hypnotic.

His breathing changes. It evens out and deepens.

Bros waits for the dawn, forgetting the smell of blood and fire, rapping gently to the beat of their hearts.

[Ganato]

Oh wow.
That was incredibly touching.

Really good job there.

[lucidSeraph]

Item #: SCP-1025-4

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Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: See main article. SCP-1025-4 poses minimal threat. However, SCP-1025-4 is not to be transported or interred near SCP-1025-7 or SCP-1025-8.

Description: SCP-1025-4 is so far the most “normal” specimen of SCP-1025 thus far encountered. The subject’s horns are rather small compared to other specimens’, and its blood is, unlike the others, the same shade as an unaugmented human. However, its skin is the standard grey seen in most specimens of SCP-1025.

These attributes suggest that SCP-1025-4 is possibly an [DATA EXPUNGED]. If so, it may be possible to find a cure [DATA EXPUNGED]

The only defining feature of SCP-1025-4 is its temper. SCP-1025-4 is easily angered, and will quickly resort to physical violence. Whether this is a side effect of the possible [DATA EXPUNGED] remains to be seen. In any case, SCP-1025-4 displays no extranormal abilities, and can be safely detained with procedures normally used for D-Class Personnel.

Addendum 1025-4a: If recaptured, do not inter SCP-1025-4 near SCP-1025-16. Previous events involving the objects led to XX casualties, as well as Incident 1025X.

... 1025-16?

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