MSPA Fanfiction III

[Sionnan]

I am a.) majorly pleased the last Bro!fic wasn't too melodramatic or angsty, and b.) that Jack obviously came across as a sexpot. WHO CAN RESIST HIM.

Thanks for reading, guys.

[raequiem]

No, I'm pretty sure that I was pretty distracted by the Jack, too.

We may be the worst people ever you know

sure is warm in this handbasket

that's going to hell

and all that

*hops in* Getting a bit crowded, too.

[kmsumrall]

Great, I'm still trying to write the next chapter of Wasteland, and then an update like this happens. Now I kinda want to write a story about mr vanilla milkshake arranging the whole thing so he can die.
Eh, someone else can have that one. I'm still only 57 pages into this fast move fanfic thread.

[Kassiopeia]

No, I'm pretty sure that I was pretty distracted by the Jack, too.

We may be the worst people ever you know

sure is warm in this handbasket

that's going to hell

and all that

*hops in* Getting a bit crowded, too.

*passes around a bag of chips*

[ceruleanTresses]

Oh my god you guys.

I popped over here to see the latest fics while I was waiting for one of the images to load on the main site. And I was like, "Oh goodness, what a strange idea! How odd that multiple people are writing fics about such a disturbing and unlikely concept! Truly they are extremely chilling and well-written fics, but where on Earth could this idea have come from?"

Then I went back over to the main site and was like, "AAAAH WHAT"

[QuetzaDrake]

I am a.) majorly pleased the last Bro!fic wasn't too melodramatic or angsty, and b.) that Jack obviously came across as a sexpot. WHO CAN RESIST HIM.

Thanks for reading, guys.

NOBODY, THAT'S WHO. *swoon~*

Our pleasure, I'm sure.

[raequiem]

Oh my god you guys.

I popped over here to see the latest fics while I was waiting for one of the images to load on the main site. And I was like, "Oh goodness, what a strange idea! How odd that multiple people are writing fics about such a disturbing and unlikely concept! Truly they are extremely chilling and well-written fics, but where on Earth could this idea have come from?"

Then I went back over to the main site and was like, "AAAAH WHAT"

Aww, poor cT.

I woke up, saw updates, and shat a brick. Then I had to go to work.

Not my best day on the job.

ANYWAY, here's more dead!John, from another perspective entirely. I cannot resist bandwagons. IT KEEPS HAPPENING.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- tentacleTherapist (TT) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG) --

TT: dave
TT : David.
TT: DAVE
TG: hopy shit rose used capslock what the fuck
TT: Dave, John's dead.
TG: what
TG: what the fuck are you talking about.
TT: I'm looking at him right now and theres' blood everywhere and god idontknowwhattodo
TG: ok whoa just
TG: calm down
TG: breathe
TG: in
TG: out
TT: DAVE JOHN IS FUCKING DEAD
TG: i know
TG: but this is not something to have a breakdown over
TT: dead
TT: he is DEAD
TT: i am allowed to be upset about this
TG: rose
TT: its all my fault im the server supposed to protect him aapsfoiaahrfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fffffffffffffffffffffff
TG: ROSE LALONDE, YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN THIS INSTANT.
TG: okay i used caps and punctuation does that help
TG: he still has a dreamself remember
TG: i just went back to check
TG: he fell asleep right before it happened
TG: so hes okay
TG: frolicking around down on skaia or some gay shit like that
TG: rose
TG: rose you still there
TT: I'm here.
TG: hes fine rose
TG: hes totally fine
TT: The feed is still on.
TT: I'm looking at his body.
TG: okay you close the fuck out of there right now
TG: last thing we need is you to get even more psychologically fucked up
TT: Okay.
TG: everythings okay rose
TG: its all good
TT: You should go back.
TG: why
TT: Like in the other timeline. You should go back now before this one gets any more doomed.
TG: rose i cant do that
TG: this is the alpha timeline
TG: somehow this is supposed to be the best possible scenario
TG: if i changed it wed just be doomed some other way
TT: ...
TT: ikerdfujseoidfiknjm edrfoiucdfvui vcikoldfi9odxoi9jkcvfdiudoedfeikdvk
TT: Sorry about that.
TT: Had to hit something for a moment, and all I had handy was this.
TG: attagirl
TG: mental breakdown to sarcasm in a minute forty-three
TG: i think thats a new world record
TT: I just don't get how this is supposed to be okay.
TG: me neither
TG: yet
TG: oh wait a sec brb
TT: ...
TG: back
TG: so my futureself just came for a visit
TG: says that this is indeed gonna be okay
TG: somehow
TG: couldnt give any more details
TT: Alright, I guess I believe you.
TT: Or future-you, anyway.
TT: Time travel sure is confusing.
TG: i guess
TT: I'm going to see if I can find John on Skaia.
TG: you do that

-- tentacleTherapist (TT) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG) --

You close the Pesterchum window and gather up the Thorns. You conjure a bubble to fly down to the planet. For a moment you consider asking Jade to teleport you there, but she has enough to deal with right now. She doesn't need to know this yet.

In the meantime, you just have to believe Dave and his futureself.

You have to.

--

You close the Pesterchum window, sigh, and push your shades back to rub at your eyes. You hate lying to her, but it's the only thing that could possibly keep her sane at a moment like this.

You did go back and check that John was contently asleep before Noir showed up. How he slept on that rock (how he slept through that stab wound) you have no idea.

But your future-self was never there. You have no idea if this is going to be okay.

Bluh. It's the Alpha, so whatever happens, happens. You've tried fighting it before (another pool of blood, another hole in another chest, another sick black-and-green grin) and it never works. Sometimes you're not sure who's in control anymore - you, or Time itself.

Whatever it is, you're sick of it. Sick of letting people you care about die, and not being able to do anything about it. Sick of having to watch, just to make sure it happens. Sick of being a Knight, because that means you're just a piece on the board, to be used and controlled and tossed aside when it's over.

Rose can't afford a mental breakdown.

You can.

You have all the time in the world to have it, anyway.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Jossed by further updates in three... two... one...

Writing that last bit brought me back to PTSD. WHICH REMINDS ME I have to rewrite that shit sometime soon. SOOO MANY FUCKUPS.

[Sionnan]

And yet more Strider!spam.

Some nice, light-hearted stuff for a change from that last bit.

Dave makes a move in the constant battle of one-upmanship with his brother. Who ever said that joining the school choir to make your brother flip out wasn't cool? Even if you don't know music, yourself, whatever who cares this plan could never fail 8D

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Dave knew he had it this time. This was it. The was the very thing. He would have the satisfaction of seeing his brother loose his cool.

Of course, he would rather think of the problem in this perspective than in the one that this was so so very gay, and oh my god so very not cool. Especially not to him. Cool kids did not do chorus. But what the hell was he going to do? The school mandated all kids should do one extra curricular kind of activity. They had four choices: sports, chorus, band, or theater. Sports were for kids who wanted to kiss ass to adults or beat up other kids; the band teacher was a harpy from hell that Dave knew he couldn't escape without slamming her; theater was for kids who sat in the corner and wrote crappy emo poetry and wore too much black. Chorus was, for all intents and purposes, the least of the evils.

Though not by much.

He shouldered his way into the apartment, pushing aside a renegade mountain of plush puppet ass that had collected behind the door. Apparently Bro had just gotten in a shipment of them, and he had been taking them out of boxes and tossing individual examples into a big pile out of the way. Because most of the rest of the free space was crawling with long quivering noses peeping out of box flaps and tufts of brilliantly colored hair trapped under wrapping tape. A pile of them on the couch shifted, and Bro looked up and over his shoulder and his nefarious minions to spot his brother. "Hey, man. You're late."

"Some shit went down at school."

Bro knocked his shades down a bit with a tilt of his head to look at Dave over the rims. Christ he looked shitty; those shades did more than make him look cool. They hid the big ass bags under his eyes. He cocked an eyebrow at his charge. "Kinda shit?"

Oh yes. Now, the time was.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

NOW

"I joined the chorus."

Silence.

Damnit, there wasn't the volley of derisive laughter Dave had been expecting. In fact, Bro's face looked pretty blank, like he didn't quite know how to handle this revelation. Finally, with nary a change in tone, "Okay, cool. How come?"

Urrrghhh he was making this SO HARD to be ironic. STOP BEING CHILL AND SUPPORTIVE GOD. Dave shrugged, thrown out of whack. "'Cause all middle schoolers have to choose some recreational bullshit as a credit requirement."

Bro's eyebrows bounced again as he nodded, as he considered this new scholarly development. "You done any of it yet?"

"Eh. Not really. The teacher handed out music, and then we went home. What's all this stuff," he deflected, waving an arm at the mounds of smuppets. Bro looked at the soft rolling hills of articulated ass surrounding him. "Got a special holiday shipment in." He smirked and chose one from the pile. It was a deep evergreen velveteen specimen. "Whaddya think?"

"They're... festive."

Bro laughed this time, unearthing himself and scattering puppets every which way. "Look, I gotta run for a few hours. You chill here til I get back." With that, he tossed the tv remote to Dave, and grabbed the skateboard from off the carpet and was out of the door before Dave could get properly ornery that he didn't get his brother's goat.

It's like, what older brother was cool with his little brother joining chorus? Oh man, unless he just wasn't letting on so that he could get Dave riled because he wasn't getting riled. Aw yeah, he had it figured now. He just had to wait for the pressure to build.

Dave swept jiggling chunks of ass off the couch to change it from Spike TV to MTV. He'd catch up on some of the mainstream artists before getting started on his homework.
_______

Dave was flipping the fuck out in a totally cool and not spastic way at all. It was 8:00 PM, and he was getting chumped by this goddamn chicken scratch bullshit on the photocopied pages he got from his teacher. His computer bleeped, and he glanced over to it. The other three guys were similarly busy, or in Rose's case asleep, so he hadn't been expected to get pestered.

But when he brought up Pesterchum, his brother's chumhandle flashed at him. What the fuck?

nP: Bro come out for dinner

TG: why are you chatting me this cant you just yell at me

nP: I had no idea what you were doing or if you were plugged in too deep to hear me. plus that's kinda dickish

TG: errrrr kkkkkk

nP: ... ?

nP: you cool?

nP: fuck the pans boiling over brb

TG: ok so i will not come out if i hear that shrill motherfucking smoke detector going off

nP: whats up bro, you're acting kinda spoody

TG: i just

TG: AUGH

TG: I AM SO FUCKED UP OVER THIS FUCKING CHORUS THING

TG: I MEAN

TG: I HAVE A FUCKING SOLO TO DO

TG: CUZ ITS LIKE "OH GIVE THE NEW KID SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM FEEL SPECIAL OH ARENT WE ALL SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES"

TG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ALL OF THIS SHIT MEANS ON THESE PAPERS

TG: AND IM GONNA LOOK LIKE A TOOL IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

nP: wow that is a lot of caps. i can practically hear your despair aimed at the heavens

TF: inorite

nP: haha okay dude, come down and we'll hash it out.

TG: nuuuu i don wanna fight you right now

nP: ha no bro, i'm not gonna fight you

nP: i'm gonna teach you what all that shit on the papers mean.

np: bc i'm assuming you're talking about the sheet music

TG: yeah

TG: im comin

When Dave fought his way through the boxes of plush puppet rumps and into the livingroom, he found his brother at the freestanding stove, poking at a pot of noodles and bopping in place to something with a really sick beat. He tossed Dave a nod, and asked, nonchalantly, "Wha's happenin', brah."

Dave fought back a scowl, because he felt like such an idiot for not knowing how to do something as simple as read sheet music. His brother did it all the time, pretty goddamn flawlessly. Dave didn't know how he'd managed to live 13 years with this guy and not pick something like that up. Bro, in the meanwhile, craned over the open flames to take a taste of the sauce he'd poured out of a jar, and nodded in satisfaction. He wiped his hands on the backs of his jeans, and the held out a hand. "Let's see the good, bro."

Okay, so it was time to swallow some of his pride. This whole damn plan to ruffle his brother's feathers had backfired big time, and now he was stuck singing like a monkey for a few weeks. At least the school gave them the choice of dropping it if they wanted to after the mandatory period. Dave shuffled over and handed the papers to his brother, who shifted to stand at his side to hold the music between them. "Man this shit's old. Okay, first we gotta find what key this thing is in. You know how to do that?"

Dave shook his head.

"Look at these little hash marks over here." Bro pointed at the top left hand corner of the page. "Three of 'em. That means G. So if this is middle C," he hummed a brief note. Bro actually had a good singing voice, but Dave rarely heard it unless he was mocking some other music. "This is G," he hummed a slightly lower note than the one before.

Dave looked at him, skeptical. "How the hell can you pull notes out of your ass like that?"

"Perfect pitch, brah."

"What the hell is that even."

"You don't believe me?"

"No. I don't even think that's a thing."

So they consulted the mighty technological oracle, Google. Bro hummed the note again before opening a web-based midi file marked "middle C", which popped up continuing his same note.

So Dave shut up and learned how to read music for the next few hours.

[Aerodactylus]

I am breaking up this sadness/rage party with some lighthearted music-related fun.

Come Together, Part 5

show spoiler

hide spoiler

As Jade and Dave made their way up to the stage, John turned to Rose and Kanaya. “So, when are you guys going to sing for us? You haven’t sung since the first night, Rose!”

Rose gave him a cool look over the edge of her glass. “Which was two nights ago, John Egbert. Don’t rush me.” She took a sip and continued, “besides, Kanaya and I have a plan to inject some culture into these proceedings.”

John’s eyes widened. “Really? What do you mean?”

“Oh, you’ll find out…” Rose said mysteriously. “Tit for tat, John. Isn’t that right, Kanaya?”

“Indeed. Though I hope you’ll let me know what this plan of yours is, as well.”

Rose gave Kanaya a light smack on the arm. “Kanaya, you’re ruining it!”

Kanaya laughed, her cheeks going a light jade. John laughed too.

Onstage, Dave was testing his mic. “You ready to go, Jade?”

Jade had queued up their song, and was just finishing tuning her bass. “Whenever you are!”

“Alright…” Dave’s next words were to the whole room. “Okay, this song goes out to Terezi, because she’s awesome,” Terezi playfully blew Dave a kiss, “and also to those fucking nakkers from the LOHAC stock exchange. May you all die in a fire.”

He nodded to Jade, and she began playing the bass line, bobbing her head to the beat. John cheered when he recognized the song.

“Money! Get away; get a good job with more pay and you’re okay. Money! It's a gas; grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. New car, caviar, four star daydream; think I'll buy me a football team.”

As Dave sang, he hopped of the stage and began making his way through the tables. He gave Terezi a playful stroke on the cheek, passed by Nepeta and petted her head, gently took Feferi’s hand and kissed it. Except for maybe Karkat, the audience ate it up. Dave paused next to John.

“Money! Get back; I'm all right Jack, keep your hands off my stack. Money! It's a hit; don't give me that do goody good bullshit. I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set and I think I need a Lear jet!”

Dave made his way back up front as the sax solo began, motioning for applause, which the crowd was happy to give him. “Enjoying yourselves, folks?” he called, and cheers answered.

Suddenly, John called out, “Jade? What are you doing?”

Dave turned to see Jade shedding her bass and running behind the karaoke machine, pressing a button on it as she did. “Yeah, Jade, what the hell are you doing?!” Dave leapt onstage to chew her out for ditching him in the middle of their performance—just in time for Jade to reappear, wearing a guitar and shredding out the guitar solo.

“What the—?” Dave said, but he was drowned out by the shouts from the crowd. John was thumping the table, Feferi and Terezi were on their feet screaming, even Rose and Kanaya, both normally so reserved, were cheering for their friend.

Jade was incredible; she bit her lip in concentration as her fingers flew, eyes closed. The guitar screamed up and down the register, Jade fell to her knees as she played, and all Dave could do was stand there, mouth slightly open, his coolkid façade absolutely shattered by what he was seeing.

It was a good thing the lyrics didn’t start until a few bars after the solo ended, because Dave would’ve continued to stare at Jade right through his cue had she not put the guitar down and picked up her bass, pressing the same button on the karaoke machine to switch out the tracks. He recovered well enough, though.

“Money! It's a crime; share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my pie.” Dave found himself putting new energy and showmanship into his singing; if Jade could rock that hard then he sure as hell could! “Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today. But if you ask for a rise, it's no surprise that they're giving none away…away…away…away…away...”

The song began to fade, and the cheers of their friends made the walls quake. Dave slowly turned to regard his accompanist, her hair plastered to her head with sweat, her eyelids heavy and her mouth set in a huge smile. She looked beautiful.

--

“Holy shit!” Dave said.

It was several hours later, and he and Jade were back in her room. He’d helped her carry her bass and newly alchemized guitar back from the bar, unable to find the right things to say. It wasn’t often that Dave Strider found himself at a loss for words. A simple thanks, that old coolkid standby, didn’t even begin to do Jade’s mind-bending performance justice, but to go any further than that risked breaking his carefully cultivated image. It was quite the dilemma. Finally, the choice had been made when they’d finished putting Jade’s instruments away, and Dave’s feelings had simply burst out.

“Is that how you feel?” Jade giggled.

“I mean,” Dave stammered, attempting to regain his composure, “that was just so…incredible! I didn’t even know you could do that!”

“Well, before last night, I couldn’t,” Jade replied, taking a seat on the bed. “I stayed up all last night, working on it. Most of today too, before I went to the bar tonight. It just felt…like something I should do!” Jade sighed and fell back onto her sheets. “Anyway, I’m just glad everyone liked it.”

“Fucking right, they did.” Dave smiled, sincerity forcing its way through his mask. “And…I liked it too, Jade girl. You rock.”

Jade smiled. “Thanks, Dave.” She suddenly yawned, toeing off her sneakers and curling up on the bed.

“Tired?”

“Oh, I wonder…I just stayed up for over 36 hours preparing for a physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing performance, and I downed one of Gamzee’s giant caffeine shakes.” Jade pushed her face into her pillow. “I might be a little sleepy, yes.”

“Been taking pointed comment lessons from Rose, I see.” Dave smirked, sitting down on the bed next to her. He gently took her glasses from her face and set them on the bedside table. For a minute they just looked at each other, brilliant green eyes meeting cherry red, and partway through Dave found his shaking hand lifting to his face to remove his shades. “Jade?”

“Yes, Dave?”

“I…I—“ But he didn’t get a chance to finish, because Jade’s hand came up and grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulling him down and pressing their lips together.

It struck Dave like lightning; he gathered Jade into his arms and kissed her harder than he thought possible, pouring far too much emotion into it than he normally did anything. And when they separated he murmured, “That was not at all cool or ironic.”

“But it was you,” Jade whispered. “And that’s what I want.” She buried her face in his chest and said, “Stay with me?”

“Like I was going to leave.”

So he laid next to her on the bed, arms wrapped around her, and she curled into him, and they drifted off, side by side.

--

Just behind the door to Jade’s room, a pair of gold eyes framed by goggles peered through the crack.

“Well? Are you gonna go in or what?”

Feferi shook her head. “No, they’re asleep. I can glub all I want to Jade at breakfast tomorrow. Besides, look at them!” Sollux peered over his matesprit’s shoulder through the crack. “Aren’t they just adorable?”

“Fefe, you’re thuch a thap.”

“Oh stop,” Feferi said. “Anyway, we’ll just leave them be.”

She gently closed the door, and when she was done, Sollux said, “Walk you back to your room?” He slipped an arm around her waist as they walked.

Feferi gave him a look. “Sollux, how long has it been?”

“A while, even given that “a while” meanth nothing here.”

“Right. I don’t think you need to ask anymore.”

“Good.”

As they left Jade’s section of the lab and passed through the tranportalizer to Feferi’s quarters, Feferi said, “So, what made you want to sing that song? I asked if you wanted to duet and you turned me down. I have to say I was pretty disappointed!”

Sollux shrugged. “I didn’t want to thing, not at firtht. But then, yeah, you looked kinda down about it, and thomething in me wath like...’you thould sing for her.’ Tho yeah. Gueth that’th about it. Not really complicated.”

Feferi smiled. “Well, I thought it was very sweet.”

“Yeah, I figured that’th what the kith meant.”

Feferi opened the door to her room, revealing the dim lighting and simulated coral walls she kept to remind her of her old home on the seabed. “You know, I noticed your lisp went away as you were singing.”

“Did it?” Sollux looked confused.

“You didn’t even notice? Wow, you must’ve really been into it,” Feferi teased. She bumped the mouse on her computer and started checking through windows.

She didn’t see the little smirk that crossed Sollux’s lips. “Oh, Fefe…I wanted to tell you.”

“Hm?” Feferi didn’t turn around.

“There wath another thong I found while I wath thearching that reminded me of you.” He came up behind her, planting his hands on the desk to either side, trapping her. “Allow me.” He took the mouse from her, quickly navigating to the song. “It goeth like thith…”

“I want you…I want you so bad…I want you…”

Sollux’s lips were a hairsbreadth from Feferi’s ear, his breath fluttering the feathered edges of the membrane. Feferi gasped, her hands balling into fists in her lap. “Sollux…” Her voice was a whisper.

Sollux lifted her out of the chair and turned her to face him. “What ith it, Fefe?”

“K-keep singing.” She smiled, her breath heavy. “Please?”

Sollux smirked. “I want you…” He maneuvered her back until her knees hit the bed and they both tumbled down. “I want you so bad, babe…” He climbed onto the bed over her, straddling her, and began laying little kisses, each one a bit more intense than the last, under her jaw, chin, on her neck. Feferi bit her lip and held back a moan. “I want you…” He kissed lower, and lower, until his lips brushed the edge of her top. “I want you so bad, it’s driving me mad, it’s driving me mad.”

On the last line his voice sank into a throaty baritone, and Feferi couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Oh God, Sollux,” she whimpered, and she twined her fingers in his hair and pulled him in for a kiss. She moaned through it as his hands began to lift the edge of her skirt. “You’re so…different tonight,” she whispered. “What’s gotten into you?”

“It’th like the thong thays, Fefe,” Sollux replied, his voice thick and heavy. “You’re driving me mad…”

“Oh God, come here,” she hissed, and Sollux acquiesced, her lips warm and soft.

“I think you should…stay here tonight,” Feferi continued, breathless as Sollux continued his quest to kiss every inch of her neck. She writhed under him, clawing helplessly at the bedcovers.

“Why?” Sollux breathed into her ear, and Feferi shivered with pleasure. “Tho we can cuddle like the inthufferable prick and hith girl?”

“I was thinking,” Feferi murmured seductively, “we could do something else…”

Sollux chuckled deep in his throat, and the song still playing from the computer faded into the background as they set about their business.

"She's so...heavy..."

--

Open Pesterlog

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –

AT: hEY, uH, gAMZEE
AT: hOW’S IT GOING,
TC: TaVrOs, My bEsT MoThErFuCkEr! HoW ThE ShIt yOu dOiNg mAn?
AT: uH, pRETTY GOOD, i GUESS,
AT: aCTUALLY VERY GOOD,
TC: ThAt’s fUcKiNg gOoD To hEaR, mY BrOtHeR. WhAt cAn tHiS HuMbLe mOtHeRfUcKeR Do fOr yOu tHiS FiNe eVeNiNg?
AT: uH, wELL, i JUST WANTED TO, uM, rUN AN IDEA BY YOU
AT: iF THAT’S OKAY
TC: ShIt, MaN, yOu kNoW I’M AlL AbOuT IdEaS AlL Up iN ThE HeAd sPaCe!
TC: LaY It rIgHt tHe fUcK On mE, bRo.
AT: oKAY,
AT: wELL
AT: aFTER SEEING JADE’S PERFORMANCE
AT: i’VE KINDA BEEN INSPIRED
AT: i WANT TO LEARN AN INSTRUMENT
AT: dO YOU THINK THAT’S, uH, cOOL,
TC: :oO
AT: iF YOU DON’T THINK SO, tHEN, uH
TC: MoThErFuCkEr, ThAt iS ThE BeSt gOdDaMn nEwS I HaVe hEaRd iN A FuCkInG LoNg tImE!
TC: I ThInK YoU LeArNiNg aN InStRuMeNt wOuLd bE FuCkInG MiRaCuLoUs
AT: oH, wELL, uH, tHANKS
TC: ShIt, I ToTaLlY KnOw wHeRe yOu’rE CoMiNg fRoM WiTh tHiS
TC: JaDe’s sOlO WaS A MoThErFuCkInG MiRaClE
TC: StRaIgHt fRoM AbOvE, yOu dIg?
AT: uH, yEAH, i KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN
AT: aND I FEEL LIKE PART OF ITS, uH, mIRACULOUS NATURE, uM, rUBBED OFF ON ME,
TC: FoR SeRiOuS, mY BrOtHeR? bEcAuSe mIrAcLeS Is tHe fUcKiNg mOsT HaRsHnAsTy oF SeRiOuS BuSiNeSsEs
TC: If yOu gOt a mIrAcLe iN YoU, tHeN YoU GoT A FuCkInG DuTy
TC: To lEt tHaT MoThErFuCkEr sHiNe oUt aNd tAkE FuCkInG ChArGe!
TC: YoU ReAdY FoR ThAt, My mOsT RiGhTeOuS PaRtIaLlY MeChAnIcAl bRoThEr?
AT: uM, i THINK SO
TC: ArE YoU BeInG FuCkInG SeRiOuS WiTh mE, tAvRoS?
AT: yES, i AM FUCKING READY TO LAY DOWN THE MIRACLES,
TC: ThAt’s wHaT I WaNtEd tO HeAr, My mOtHeRfUcKeR
TC: So wHaT CoNdUiT ArE YoU GoInG To cHoOsE To bRiNg tHiS MiRaClE DoWn oUr fUcKiNg cOrNeR Of tHe uNiVeRsE?
AT: uH, i DON’T EXACTLY, uM, kNOW YET
AT: tHAT IS WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO DO
AT: gO TALK TO JOHN ABOUT, uM, eARTH INSTRUMENTS
AT: sO I AM GOING TO GO DO THAT NOW
AT: bYE GAMZEE,
TC: SeE YoU LaTeR, mY FuCkInG BrOtHeR!

-- adiosToreador [AT] has ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –

TC: MoThErFuCkInG MiRaClEs

A/N

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Sollux is officially a Beatles fan. Also, I don't know how much more of this I'm going to write in the near future, because it would require me to write Vriska as a decent person, and HELL NO. So maybe I'll work on something else for a while...

Song links:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Money - Pink Floyd
I Want You (She's So Heavy) - The Beatles

@Everyone: You all rock for writing so many great fics about the updates. I would jump on the bandwagon, but I'm no good at those kinds of fics. I'll bring the punch to the hellbasket, though!

[lucidSeraph]

And yet more Strider!spam.

Some nice, light-hearted stuff for a change from that last bit.

Dave makes a move in the constant battle of one-upmanship with his brother. Who ever said that joining the school choir to make your brother flip out wasn't cool? Even if you don't know music, yourself, whatever who cares this plan could never fail 8D

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Dave knew he had it this time. This was it. The was the very thing. He would have the satisfaction of seeing his brother loose his cool.

Of course, he would rather think of the problem in this perspective than in the one that this was so so very gay, and oh my god so very not cool. Especially not to him. Cool kids did not do chorus. But what the hell was he going to do? The school mandated all kids should do one extra curricular kind of activity. They had four choices: sports, chorus, band, or theater. Sports were for kids who wanted to kiss ass to adults or beat up other kids; the band teacher was a harpy from hell that Dave knew he couldn't escape without slamming her; theater was for kids who sat in the corner and wrote crappy emo poetry and wore too much black. Chorus was, for all intents and purposes, the least of the evils.

Though not by much.

He shouldered his way into the apartment, pushing aside a renegade mountain of plush puppet ass that had collected behind the door. Apparently Bro had just gotten in a shipment of them, and he had been taking them out of boxes and tossing individual examples into a big pile out of the way. Because most of the rest of the free space was crawling with long quivering noses peeping out of box flaps and tufts of brilliantly colored hair trapped under wrapping tape. A pile of them on the couch shifted, and Bro looked up and over his shoulder and his nefarious minions to spot his brother. "Hey, man. You're late."

"Some shit went down at school."

Bro knocked his shades down a bit with a tilt of his head to look at Dave over the rims. Christ he looked shitty; those shades did more than make him look cool. They hid the big ass bags under his eyes. He cocked an eyebrow at his charge. "Kinda shit?"

Oh yes. Now, the time was.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

NOW

"I joined the chorus."

Silence.

Damnit, there wasn't the volley of derisive laughter Dave had been expecting. In fact, Bro's face looked pretty blank, like he didn't quite know how to handle this revelation. Finally, with nary a change in tone, "Okay, cool. How come?"

Urrrghhh he was making this SO HARD to be ironic. STOP BEING CHILL AND SUPPORTIVE GOD. Dave shrugged, thrown out of whack. "'Cause all middle schoolers have to choose some recreational bullshit as a credit requirement."

Bro's eyebrows bounced again as he nodded, as he considered this new scholarly development. "You done any of it yet?"

"Eh. Not really. The teacher handed out music, and then we went home. What's all this stuff," he deflected, waving an arm at the mounds of smuppets. Bro looked at the soft rolling hills of articulated ass surrounding him. "Got a special holiday shipment in." He smirked and chose one from the pile. It was a deep evergreen velveteen specimen. "Whaddya think?"

"They're... festive."

Bro laughed this time, unearthing himself and scattering puppets every which way. "Look, I gotta run for a few hours. You chill here til I get back." With that, he tossed the tv remote to Dave, and grabbed the skateboard from off the carpet and was out of the door before Dave could get properly ornery that he didn't get his brother's goat.

It's like, what older brother was cool with his little brother joining chorus? Oh man, unless he just wasn't letting on so that he could get Dave riled because he wasn't getting riled. Aw yeah, he had it figured now. He just had to wait for the pressure to build.

Dave swept jiggling chunks of ass off the couch to change it from Spike TV to MTV. He'd catch up on some of the mainstream artists before getting started on his homework.
_______

Dave was flipping the fuck out in a totally cool and not spastic way at all. It was 8:00 PM, and he was getting chumped by this goddamn chicken scratch bullshit on the photocopied pages he got from his teacher. His computer bleeped, and he glanced over to it. The other three guys were similarly busy, or in Rose's case asleep, so he hadn't been expected to get pestered.

But when he brought up Pesterchum, his brother's chumhandle flashed at him. What the fuck?

nP: Bro come out for dinner

TG: why are you chatting me this cant you just yell at me

nP: I had no idea what you were doing or if you were plugged in too deep to hear me. plus that's kinda dickish

TG: errrrr kkkkkk

nP: ... ?

nP: you cool?

nP: fuck the pans boiling over brb

TG: ok so i will not come out if i hear that shrill motherfucking smoke detector going off

nP: whats up bro, you're acting kinda spoody

TG: i just

TG: AUGH

TG: I AM SO FUCKED UP OVER THIS FUCKING CHORUS THING

TG: I MEAN

TG: I HAVE A FUCKING SOLO TO DO

TG: CUZ ITS LIKE "OH GIVE THE NEW KID SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM FEEL SPECIAL OH ARENT WE ALL SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES"

TG: AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ALL OF THIS SHIT MEANS ON THESE PAPERS

TG: AND IM GONNA LOOK LIKE A TOOL IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

nP: wow that is a lot of caps. i can practically hear your despair aimed at the heavens

TF: inorite

nP: haha okay dude, come down and we'll hash it out.

TG: nuuuu i don wanna fight you right now

nP: ha no bro, i'm not gonna fight you

nP: i'm gonna teach you what all that shit on the papers mean.

np: bc i'm assuming you're talking about the sheet music

TG: yeah

TG: im comin

When Dave fought his way through the boxes of plush puppet rumps and into the livingroom, he found his brother at the freestanding stove, poking at a pot of noodles and bopping in place to something with a really sick beat. He tossed Dave a nod, and asked, nonchalantly, "Wha's happenin', brah."

Dave fought back a scowl, because he felt like such an idiot for not knowing how to do something as simple as read sheet music. His brother did it all the time, pretty goddamn flawlessly. Dave didn't know how he'd managed to live 13 years with this guy and not pick something like that up. Bro, in the meanwhile, craned over the open flames to take a taste of the sauce he'd poured out of a jar, and nodded in satisfaction. He wiped his hands on the backs of his jeans, and the held out a hand. "Let's see the good, bro."

Okay, so it was time to swallow some of his pride. This whole damn plan to ruffle his brother's feathers had backfired big time, and now he was stuck singing like a monkey for a few weeks. At least the school gave them the choice of dropping it if they wanted to after the mandatory period. Dave shuffled over and handed the papers to his brother, who shifted to stand at his side to hold the music between them. "Man this shit's old. Okay, first we gotta find what key this thing is in. You know how to do that?"

Dave shook his head.

"Look at these little hash marks over here." Bro pointed at the top left hand corner of the page. "Three of 'em. That means G. So if this is middle C," he hummed a brief note. Bro actually had a good singing voice, but Dave rarely heard it unless he was mocking some other music. "This is G," he hummed a slightly lower note than the one before.

Dave looked at him, skeptical. "How the hell can you pull notes out of your ass like that?"

"Perfect pitch, brah."

"What the hell is that even."

"You don't believe me?"

"No. I don't even think that's a thing."

So they consulted the mighty technological oracle, Google. Bro hummed the note again before opening a web-based midi file marked "middle C", which popped up continuing his same note.

So Dave shut up and learned how to read music for the next few hours.

THIS IS SO CUTE

OH MY GOD

[raequiem]

MUSICFIC

ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE

[Aerodactylus]

@Sionnan: I HAVE BEEN NINJA'D BY THE WORLD'S CUTEST MUSICFIC. +1 INTERNETS TO YOU.

[egregiousBass]

egregious brick shitting

Haha, wow. You read my fic before the update. I feel like a bad influence =P

Nice musicfic, by the way. Melodic diction really is embarassing.

NOBODY, THAT'S WHO. *swoon~*

I can!!

...I think...

[Graven_Image]

Sollux is a Beatles fan? I always thought he liked the...


Bee-Gees.

*shot*

[Douhneill]

Sollux is a Beatles fan? I always thought he liked the...


Bee-Gees.

*shot*

iLold

[Aerodactylus]

Maybe if I knew something about the Bee-Gees...

[One]

Somebody do 'Hellfire', with Eridan as Frollo.

[Bratmon]

@Aerodactylus
First: I love that musicfic.
Second: Your trollog messed up the color on two lines. These two:
TC: ShIt, MaN, yOu kNoW I’M AlL AbOuT IdEaS AlL Up iN ThE HeAd sPaCe!
TC: LaY It rIgHt tHe fUcK On mE, bRo.
Are still brown.

[ceruleanTresses]

Somebody do 'Hellfire', with Eridan as Frollo.

Oh my god that would be so hilarious.
Actually, Equius's passion for pre-robot Aradia would fit that song really well. But I don't know if it would be as funny as one with Eridan. Clearly we need both versions!

Edit: Not that I'm dibsing them or anything--I can't write lyrics at all.

[Kassiopeia]

Somebody do 'Hellfire', with Eridan as Frollo.

I might not be thinking of the right song here - I don't know the Disney canon too well (oh noes) but there's this magnificent thing:

[egregiousBass]

How's this for fic fodder?

[Kassiopeia]

How's this for fic fodder?

terrifying.

but in all seriousness if I wasn't working on Terezi/Vriska blackrom epics I would be RIGHT ON THAT.

[ceruleanTresses]

I might not be thinking of the right song here - I don't know the Disney canon too well (oh noes) but there's this magnificent thing:

Oh my god.

OH MY GOD.

I haven't even finished listening to the song yet. I got to "Of my mangrit I am justly proud," and already I know this is going to be the best thing ever.

Edit: I finished it. I was right. It is, literally, the best thing ever. Well, the second-best thing, after Homestuck itself.

[Aerodactylus]

@Bratmon: Thanks dude! I don't know how I missed that. Fixed now.

ALSO: HOPY SHIT THAT SONG. Wait...is that GeneralIvan? It kinda sounds like him...

[SataiDelenn]

ANYWAY, here's more dead!John, from another perspective entirely. I cannot resist bandwagons. IT KEEPS HAPPENING.

Hahaha...I had just finished writing something more or less like that, except that it went totally differently, and then I came here to post it and was way ninja'd! :P

Would anyone like to read my version? Shall I post it anyway?

I like yours a lot btw, rae. Particularly the "mental breakdown to sarcasm in a minute forty-three" line and the whole last Dave bit.

Still catching up with everything else...