MSPA Fanfiction III

[egregiousBass]

Welp, that's the end of the TerrorCal fics. He's dead and gone.

Well that's actually pretty happy then.

[raequiem]

Wig, you're the best. Anything I may or may not have said about hating you forever because of Calfic... I take it back.

[Metaflare]

Wait did

did that ending imply that this is a prequel to the alive!aradia series?

[Wigmund]

And Karaoke Night.

[Katrika]

Wigmund.

That explains everything.

Like Jade's nightmare.

I am in awe.

Marry me.

[sebastian]

Well, that explain that nightmare.

But you can't fool me Wig. I know you are trying too lull me in a false sense of security, just to strike when my guard is down.

I'M WISE TO YOUR GAME, WIGMUND!!

[BPrinny]

The horror will never end.

[DJ-P0N3]

Woohoo!
Katrika and MayorSillyBiscuits: Pose as a team, shit just got unnervingly real!

Exiles - Part 6

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SR opened her eyes, exhausted. She ached all over, and for a moment couldn't remember what happened. There was another person, and he grabbed her, and...and she'd dropped her book outside. She bolted upright and got to her feet, shaky. She had to go get her book!

LB laid there still asleep, he had strained himself considerably lifting up SR. Since it had been sometime since he had eaten the weight of SR was more than he could carry. Rolling over in his sleep he reached over to where he thought she was, only to find she had moved. Slumping and finally thwumping onto the floor, it hit his carapace hard, a loud clunking noise was heard, but he did not wake up.

SR clutched the book to her chest as she re-entered the building. For the first time since waking up, she noticed the Dersian. Had he helped her inside? Confused, she knelt by him, looking him over. Her eyes settled on a metal canteen strapped to his waist. It had been so long since she had had something to drink...

She quickly grabbed the canteen, shaking it. Half full. She opened it up and half poured the water down her throat, drinking until she felt ill.

LB shuffled about as his unconscious body was being robbed. After the canteen was removed he rolled over and continued his sleeping. A good long rest would do good for him. His scorpion companion however was far from pleased at SR's nosy behaviors, it raised its venomous tail high and snapped its pincers as she guzzled all of his precious water away.

SR jumped back from the scorpion, capping the canteen and dropping it. She knew she had to make up for drinking all that water somehow. Struck by an idea, she rifled through her stuff and came out with a small packet of jerky, laying it on the ground. Perhaps a trade would be in order.

The scorpion stares at the offering a moment. It snaps the jerky in half and begins to devour it slowly, savoring each bite. It pinches LB's carapace, LB wakes up and sits up. Looking at SR and the dropped canteen, the scorpion and the jerky, he wasn't sure what was going on, but he begrudgingly took the jerky and chewed it. At first he ate it in spite of SR, but soon he began to enjoy the food. After finishing off the small meal, he burps. "Thank you..."


"It's the least I could do after drinking your water."

The Solitary Refugee looked LB up and down. Now that she had had something to drink, she supposed that working together wouldn't be so bad. After all, wasn't it worse being all alone?

"I'm...well, I used to be Shy Reader. I guess I'm Solitary Refugee now."

"You....drank my water...?"

Skipping the pleasantries he stood up and kicked his scorpion. It hissed at him a moment before he began to make noises similar to the scorpion, it seemed he and the creature had learned to communicate to one another in scorpion, or perhaps they were just doing it for show. A man has to look good in front of the ladies!

"I am a Lost Brute!" He shouts as he stomps about and snaps his fingers, the scorpion does the same. "I used to be a lone battler on the skaian battlefield!"

"That's....nice."

SR was, quite frankly, terrified of this fellow. She began to edge away a little, before pausing. If she died, she could not fufill her mission. If she did not fufill her mission, all this misery had been worthless. And if she went off on her own, she was quite sure she would die. Besides, this is hardly how an adventure hero would react! What would Archer Johnson do in this situation? She drew herself up confidently. She could do this.

"It's hard, being alone. We should make an alliance."

The dersian ceased his stomping and snapping and looked at her oddly. LB could not believe what he was hearing. Allying himself with her would make him a traitor, the very thing he wishes to not be! His love for Derse knows no bounds!

"Why should I ally myself with you?! I can handle this all on my own!!"

He pointed a finger at SR and barred his teeth, they were quite sharp. The scorpion pinches his toe and he takes a look. The scorpion begins to make more noise in the secret language. LB seems to go deep in thought, if he does not ally with her, he won't be a traitor. If he is not a traitor, he should not be exiled, but he is exiled. He begins to realize that this must be why he is a traitor, because he does ally himself with her, turning he reaches a hand to her.

"Fine....I....accept your offer."

[mythmonster2]

THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER. I love how all your fics are connected together, Wigmund!

[KarneWarrior]

GallowS
Swinging High (part three)

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On Alternia, the worst thing they can do to you is put you in jail. Culling is reserved for the lucky.

The floodlights filled the room in a harsh electric white. To Terezi it was like being surrounded by sterile gauze, tasteless and dry. She tried not to breathe because every time she opened her mouth a flood of cotton and bandages would fill her mouth and dry it up.

Another ragged breath. Another second of the sixteen sweeps she would spend in this hellhole.

But this was Terezi Pyrope. You didn't grow up as a troll without resolve, and Terezi was harder to break than most.

Another breath. More cotton and gauze.

Seventeen other trolls. Seventeen other rooms. Equius would help, hopefully. Maybe Garrison. Probably Saxx, but you never knew with snakes, and Saxx was too violent to let go. Terezi didn't want any backstabbing.

Another breath. she just wanted to go home.

The ropes chafed her hands. They burned and Terezi could smell teal when she breathed.

Another breath, a burst of teal, and a noise. A door opening and slamming shut.

Terezi sniffed, but all she got was a nose full of gauze and cotton with a small bit of ash. Nothing she could go on. When he spoke, she would know.

"So now we see who is the law and who... Breaks it," droned Oswallis. Her new "teacher". There was a scuttling besided Terezi, who tensed.

"Oh don't worry... Terezi. It's just a little... Friend."

"Like hell it is," spat Terezi. She wondered what it was this time. A shot? A creature? A dose of Sopor to get her off her guard?

A set of furry legs scrabbled for a hold on her upper arm. Terezi thrashed against her will, trying in vain to keep the spider off of her.

"Now Terezi... You know that won't do you any... Good."

Terezi calmed herself down. It was fine. She could do this.

"So... Have any friends?"

"You killed them all."

"Nonsense... Dearest Sollux had the great fortune of being... in favor of her Majesty, and luckily very... in demand for Lord Ampora..."

Terezi hissed. The spider crawled up her arm lazily.

"So... What about others?"

"There were no others!"

"Your matespirit?"

"Dead!"

"How sad. No wonder you fought back. A brilliant display of... Bravery... In fact, i think this desrves... A reward." That wasn't a good sign.

The lights dimmed. Terezi could breath again without her mouth going dry. She took a exploratory sniff.

Oswallis was wearing what the Teachers always wore. A mask of deep black, with a glimmering slit for the eyes, tinted so being in the bright rooms didn't damage their eyesight. The mask smiled softly, kindly as the Teacher went about their daily duties of "Peaceful Extraction". Mostly torture, although some was actually peaceful and nice. It only set you up to get knocked down farther.

On his body he wore pitch black clothing, like tar. His sign, Azmodeus, was like a splash of peppermint across a oilspill. The combination was sickening.

The spider made it to Terezis ear and seemed very interested about the inside. It started scooping out earwax and shoving its bulbous abdomen inside. Terezi grimaced in pain but didn't cry out.

"Oh, it seems... our new friend has found... a meal." Said Oswallis happily, the mask on his face grinning innocently.

"What does it eat?" Asked Terezi through her teeth, dreading the answer.

"Your inner ear, my dear. Dont worry... the spider acts like a second eardrum... Until it dies..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O

[WR]: You know, if you had listened to us in the first place...
[WR]: Whoops I mean me.
[GC]: TH4TS DON3 NOW
[GC]: NO PO1NT 1N GO1NG OV3t 1T 4G41N
[WR]: Very well.
[WR]: Are you ready?
[GC]: 1 DONT W4NT TO H4V3 TO DO TH1S, R3B3L
[WR]: And yet we are forced to. And by we I mean the two of us.
[GC]: 1F TH1S GO3S WRONG...
[WR]: If this fails the least of our problems will be your very dead empress.
[GC]: TH3N L3TS M4K3 SUR3 W3 DO TH1S R1GHT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O

"Make sure it leaves a scar." She told the warden.

"Oh, we'll do far worse than that."

"Really?"

"Scars last forever. Spiders die eventually."

"Not this one." Vriska motioned to herself and watched the monitors as the spider burrowed into Terezis eardrum. If you listened, they were just close enough that you didn't have to use the speakers.

Just how Vriska liked it.

[KilroyWasHere]

Karne, I appear to have missed the first two parts of this, and thus have no idea what's going on.

But holy shit Terezi what did you DO.

[KarneWarrior]

Actually there was only one part. Let me get the link...

http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4389863

there.

[Katrika]

Karne: Ohhhhh my.

[BPrinny]

The ear-spider sent shivers down my spine.

[Wigmund]

I wonder if organic versions of those eye-scanning robots from "Minority Report" will make an appearance when Terezi makes her escape.

[Douhneill]

I just realized... I haven't worked on Heirman in like, 12 days or something. I'm gonna start working on that again.

...Who was I supposed to write for again?

[Sionnan]

More Strider!fic- Dave wakes up on his birthday to find some surprises.

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In his dreams, no matter what they were, everything smelled like ashes and sulfur. And just as his older brother looked over his shoulder, face bathed in that angry red like some weeping wound, his face began to gray under the crimson patina, and he opened his mouth to speak. Ashes scattered from his cracked lips, clinging and tumbling down his chin, as he said, "You know I'll always-"

"Happy birthday, Dave. Would you like to play a game?"

The low, distorted voice was the equivalent of shooting the morning from a canon. Dave bolted upright in bed, already fully awake before his eyes could correspondingly open. The Saw doll sat comfily at the end of his bed, wide, glassy eyes fixed directly on him, propped up by only God knew what. Its head was canted slightly, as if it really were waiting for a response.

Dave and the doll traded stares for a while.

Finally, when no other quip was forthcoming, he let out a gusty breath. Holy shit, that was the worst way to wake up ever. Except maybe for waking up with Cal sitting at the end of his bed. That pretty much would have sealed the deal between him and a potentially embarassing full bladder.

Okay, so he had to admit, that was pretty much a great shit your pants moment. Dave mentally credited his brother's creativity as he scrubbed his hands across his face, trying to shake off the lingering smell of nightmare fuel. As he shifted to get out of bed, the doll lolled off to one side, revealing that there was a plain brown box that had been serving as a prop, with a sheet of white paper attached.

Now halfway out of bed, Dave regarded it, and weighed the possibilities.

Generally, his brother had a really great sense of equilibrium. Scaring the shit out of someone could verge on the sadistic if you took it too far, and bro was acutely aware of that. On the other hand, Dave was pretty much used to this kind of treatment, so he was never really sure where his brother drew the line on this crazy fucking prank train. Option a.) this box was yet another prank, and housed something that would make Dave late for school because he'd peed on the rug like a puppy. Option b.) this box was actually a birthday present.

He hated these conundrums. If he guessed wrong, he felt stupid and vulnerable, or stupid and cynical. So there pretty much was no safe ground.

So Dave batted the doll off the bed with an offhanded swipe, privately enjoying the painful sounding clatter it made as its various limbs made contact with the floor, and scooched down the bed to sit roughly arm's length away from it. The sheet of paper on the top had Bro's cramped scrawl there, and Dave was momentarily blindsided with the last image of his brother in his dream, standing amid a city of scaffolding, ashes plucked from his mouth as he looked at Dave.

He shook his head. Stay with it, Strider, forget the dreams. Dreams are for pussies and crazies, and you ain't neither. You're the hottest shit to walk in shoe leather. If his shoes were made of leather and not rubber and canvas, he supposed. The box continued to sit innocently just out of reach for Dave, and Dave out of harm's way for it.

He snagged the paper off the top of the box, deciding it probably wasn't going to set off some elaborate series of shitstorms. The apartment remained silent, so Dave chalked one up for himself. The paper simply read, "Happy birthday, bro." He opened it up, and was taken aback by the wash of lines and colors. It was a piece of his brother's art, done in various blazing colors, depicting a kid about his age decked out in sweet gear at some mixing tables, tongues of fire surrounding him, and if he looked closely, orange feathers forming out of the inferno, following the same lines as the columns of fire. It was meticulously done, along the same quality of stuff bro sometimes submitted for publishing.

Pretty fuckin' sweet. Best card ever.

Dave carefully propped it right side up against the fake police light near the head of his bed. And allowed himself a very small smile at the gift.

So all that remained to tackle was the box. Dave gave it a look out of the corner of his eye. It squatted at the edge of his bed, the morning light beginning to bring out the ribbing of corrugated cardboard just underneath the paper. He glanced at the clock; he had another forty minutes before he had to even get dressed, so bro must have set this up knowing how Dave would react. Fucker was crazy. Crazy like a fox. And pretty goddamn mean, because he robbed Dave of a good forty minutes of shut eye when he could have done this the easy way and just left it out like any other normal human being on the kitchen counter for him to find.

But his brother always did enjoy fucking with him. And Dave liked it, too. He anticipated the look-

-of tired, muted despair, stark lines hugging his brother's eyes, ashes puffing-

--what?

He blinked, and shook his head to knock loose the intrusive imagery. Jesus, he really needed to get up. And lay off the sci-fi movie marathons before he went to bed. He struggled to push down the nagging thought that none of the shit he watched was about an apocalyptic world where people faded into ash as he untangled himself from his blanket. The box gravitated toward a dangerous angle off the side of his bed with the violence of his flailing, and he was forced to reach out and slap a hand on it to keep it from launching. It felt kind of heavy. He wondered if Bro stuffed it with bricks.

He did resist the urge to open it and get it over with. Poking about his room to find clothes allowed him to get a look at it from different angles, and by the time he pulled a shirt over his head, he decided bro limited his mind games to a very creepy alarm clock. Now that he thought about it, how did he get it to deviate from the crap it was preprogrammed to say? Much less address Dave specifically and with proper occassion. It seemed like bro actually put a bit of thought into these shenanigans.

Hell with it.

Dave leaned over the box, and pulled open the flaps that had been folded so that they would tuck under each other in a boxy spiral. Inside were several records couched in books, a few plastic bags poked between the books and fragile records to stop any kind of fatal inanimate interspecies contact. He pulled out one of the books, and noted the title as 'Fellowship of the Ring.' Oh, hey, wasn't that the title of the movie that Egbert was banging on about a while ago? Two of the other books looked to be companion volumes of the first, and a few other books were an odd assortment of topics. Plus a pack of developing paper. Aw, yeah. Some of the really expensive stuff, too. Not the kind to shit around with.

The records were recent titles that both he and bro had listened to the demos at the record store. He remembered the two of them each holding an earpiece of the headset, bro bending low to accommodate the height imbalance. The solid beat had possessed them both, and they spent most of the afternoon bopping to the few demo tracks listed. For a small second, Dave was pleased and even touched that bro remembered the experience, but quickly squelched it, instead opting to make an inner comment that these were some sick presents. He almost closed up the box before he caught sight of something under the plastic bags.

Rooting around, he unearthed a last gift within the box. It was a small plush of Cans, the gigantic member of the Felt from the Midnight Crew arc on MSP.

Well. He was alone. (And hopefully without any added webcams, although there seemed to be an unspoken agreement that they stayed the hell out of Dave's room. If anything, bro seemed way more disturbed at the idea than Dave thought he would be, when he brought it up jokingly some time ago.)

He hugged the plush, burying his face against the insanely soft felt material. How goddamn appropriate. And cuddly.

No one will ever know. He propped the pugnacious creature against his pillows, and shifted the box off his lap so he could stand.

As he made his way into the hall, his iPhone in his pocket sounded. Man, he couldn't even wake up without the masses hailing him to voice their joy of his existence. In fact-

Wait, that wasn't his normal ringtone. '

Dave rooted around until the noisy device was securely in hand, and he pulled it out. A text message from his brother.

He opened it, silencing the admittedly sweet beats, to read, "Hey, dude. Enjoy the beatz. French toast in microwave. See you after school." Which meant that the man himself wasn't in. Not that he expected a birthday greet in person; his bro was keeping odd hours lately, for reasons that weren't clear to Dave, and bro refused to clarify, anyway.

Oh, hey, that meant bro made the track that his phone was using as a ringtone. Still walking, he flipped through his phone to check it out. It was listed as 'bday beatz'. Dave rocked out to it a little as he shoved puppets and cd cases out from under his feet and into the living room.

Li'l Cal was no where immediately in sight, which kind of put Dave on edge. God only knew what bro had done with him, up to and including putting him somewhere that he could fall upon an unsuspecting boy. The living room was relatively tidy, bereft of roaming puppets and empty food containers as it happened to be. However, the microwave was indeed full to the brim of French toast, and Dave set about dousing it in the syrup his brother had helpfully left out. He ate at the counter, phone still playing bro's track- the thing went on for four minutes, and kept layering, so Dave didn't get tired of it as he made his way through the mountain of carbohydrates.

As usual, he dawdled long enough to be late on his walk to school. Belly full and thinking of his presents, he scooped up his backback without looking at it, adjusting his shades. As he adjusted it, he felt the unusual bulkiness of it. Dave hefted the pack, trying to figure out if it was in his mind or- no, there was definitely something going on with it.

He put it back down on the floor, and bent to reopen it. As soon as he pulled apart the zippers, something popped out like it was spring loaded and tripping balls. Dave yelped and swore, stumbling backwards.

Li'l Cal grinned his impish, blank grin at Dave, his entire posture the epitome of a kind of brainless, "surprise!" gesture. Attached to his shirt by a safety pin was a note, and Dave again recognized his brother's scrawl.

Again, two words, but this time squished for convenience into one simple phrase.

"Gotcha."

[Graven_Image]

Haha, nice.

That definitely sounds like the sort of stunt I'd pull if I had to raise my younger brother.

[KarneWarrior]

Would you say that the saw ruse was a...



Distaction?

[Katrika]

Haha, that was awesome! But the nightmare made me sad.

[QuetzaDrake]

Late @Wig: You just pulled a pseudo-Tarantino on us.

Also, was Jack possessing the puppet or had the puppet just gained evil sentience and was feeding on his corpse's power? Cause I mean if Jack's ghost was inhabiting Cal, I think that was the worst fate of all.

[Wigmund]

Late @Wig: You just pulled a pseudo-Tarantino on us.

I'm gonna sound really stupid and ask what this means? Is it the interconnection of the various stories?

Also, was Jack possessing the puppet or had the puppet just gained evil sentience and was feeding on his corpse's power? Cause I mean if Jack's ghost was inhabiting Cal, I think that was the worst fate of all.

I'll let you decide for yourself >:]

[QuetzaDrake]

Late @Wig: You just pulled a pseudo-Tarantino on us.

I'm gonna sound really stupid and ask what this means? Is it the interconnection of the various stories?

Also, was Jack possessing the puppet or had the puppet just gained evil sentience and was feeding on his corpse's power? Cause I mean if Jack's ghost was inhabiting Cal, I think that was the worst fate of all.

I'll let you decide for yourself >:]

Tarantino as a director likes to mess with linear story structure by switching around sections of the plot and having them all interconnect with overlapping scenes. Best example I can think of is Pulp Fiction, where we see events out of chronological order and various sections of the movie overlapped, such as the diner scene. Basically I'm complimenting you on having made that Nightmare scene in Karaoke Night and then TerrorCal later on by having the events actually having happened in real life in the "past", presenting these both out of chronological order and tying them together at the end, pretty much just like the aforementioned Diner Scene. Kinda hard to explain more simply, but yeah.

And I decide it was just Cal and he was evil all along feeding on defenseless Bec Noir corpse.

[mythmonster2]

Hopy shit did I really just write this? No, it's more like it wrote itself. I only wrote the first paragraph and the rest just flowed from my brain to the computer and made this. Now, what remains to be seen is if this piece could write itself well.

AU fic, no Sgrub.
Culling

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It was not an ordinary day for Tavros. In fact, it was a day which only happened once a sweep: his wriggling day. And yet, this day, like the 9 before it, was not different so far from any other day, at least not by much. He had woken up, as usual. He had gotten out of his respite block and spent an hour getting his clothes on with difficulty from his ridiculous horns and his wheelchair, as usual. And here he sat at his grubtop, as usual. None of his friends were on, which didn’t surprise him. It was pretty early; the sun was just hanging at the horizon, threatening to set but never stepping off. It almost made him want to lay down some fresh slam poetry, but the sound of screeching stopping mechanisms jolted him from his inactivity.

tHAT’S WEIRD, he thought, wHO WOULD WANT TO COME HERE,,, oH NO,

It couldn’t be the cullers. They couldn’t come for him. They hadn’t come for the past 5 sweeps due to his injury, why now? He rolled over to a ventilation portal and just barely opened the curtains. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw that it was just an ordinary multi-person transport. But who was this, and why had they come here?

His question, or at least half of it, was answered fairly quickly as a troll stepped out. She was unlike any other he had seen, wearing an exquisite, flowy dress with a strange pink symbol on her chest. She had more jewelry on her than Tavros had ever seen in his life and, strangest of all to him, fin-like features on both sides of her face. After her came another troll with the same fin-like features, but this troll was a man with a purple symbol on his chest. He brought with him a purple gun-like weapon and looked around with a look of nervousness on his face. They appeared to be the only passengers of the vehicle, as the man shut the door behind him. It was then he realized that these two were members of the sea-troll aristocracy. He had never seen any of them! In fact, the only contact he had with any sea-trolls was two names on his chumroll. But why were they here? Why would two aristocrats come to the house of a crippled-brown blood? Unless… he turned back to the purple weapon, they were here to cull him! However, a knocking sound calmed him down. A culler would just blast down the door.


The woman called out, “)(ello? Is adiosToreador )(ere?”

Another oddity. Why were they referring to him by his trollhandle? He felt the only way to answer his question were to answer the door.

“uH, i’M HERE, jUST A SECOND,” he wheeled over to the door and opened it, preparing for the worst.

“)(I TAVROS!” she shouted as soon as the door cracked open, “Uh, t)(at is your name, rig)(t?”

“yEAH, tHAT'S ME,” he responded, “wHO ARE YOU,”

“IT’S M---E, CUTTL-EFIS)(CULL-ER! We’ve talked a couple of times over Trollian, remember? T)(is is caligulasAquarium, or ----Eridan!” she identified the man with the weapon, who nodded in acknowledgement.

Realization dawned on Tavros. cuttlefishCuller, as she had told him over Trollian a while back, was the empress of the entire troll race! This only raised more questions. Why was the empress herself here, alone except for the other guy, Eridan?

“uHHH, HI, i’M tAVROS, AS I JUST, uH, sAID,”

“May we enter?”

“oF COURSE, uHHHH, yOUR MAJESTY,”

She giggled as she entered, Eridan behind her, “Call me Feferi! We’re friends, rig)(t?”

“sURE THING, fEFERI, yOU TWO CAN COME AND SIT HERE,” he said, motioning to his relaxation seat. He decided to be direct with his questions, “i DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE, bUT WHY ARE YOU AND eRIDAN HERE,”

“O)(, )(ow rude of me! I’m not sure if I told you about my plans for the empire w)(en we talked before, did I?”

“uH, nO I DON'T THINK SO,”

“Well, I’m going to make t)(is empire a better place! It’s going to be a nice place w)(ere everyone’s going to get along and… O)( just you watc)(, Tavros, t)(ere’s going to be a lot of c)(anges )(ere!”

Tavros noticed Feferi had a distant, yet still excited look in her eyes as she started to talk. This was her dream, he realized. As he looked to Eridan, he noticed that he was smiling while she talked, a faint smile that hinted he had heard this many, many times before. And though he barely felt it, he couldn’t deny that he felt… something inside him while she talked. He noticed her long hair flowing down her back, her jewelry that shined and jingled in the lights of his hive, her beautiful skin, her everything appealed to him.


“But w)(y I’m )(ere Tavros,” she said, snapping him out of his thoughts, “is because I’m instituting a new culling policy! Isn’t t)(at GR-EAT?”

“wAIT, a NEW CULLING POLICY, wHAT'S THAT, uHH, mEAN,” he hoped the alarm in his voice wasn’t too obvious.

“O)(, no, you don’t )(ave to worry!” Apparently it was, “I’m going to redefine w)(at it means to be culled! It’s so )(orrible, )(ow we just kill all the people w)(o were so unfortunate to get a injury or for some stupid other reason! Instead, we’re going to take care of t)(em now! It’s going to be a real revolution!”

“uH, oKAY, bUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME AND YOU GUYS,”

“W-----ELL,” she began, “I’ve been practicing my met)(ods on some aquatic creatures, and it’s been working pretty good, but animals are no matc)( for t)(e real t)(ing! So I decided I would go and try it out! But I didn’t know w)(o to try it on, until one of our friends, grimAuxiliatrix, mentioned t)(at you were, uh, crippled. So I came )(ere! And –Eridan’s just a clingy moirail, so )(e just )(AD to come wit)( me!” She put her arm around Eridan’s neck, who put on an overexaggerated pout and crossed his arms but let her rest her head on his shoulder.

Tavros thought about what she said, then replied “sO, i'M BASICALLY A TEST SUBJECT,”

“Well, I guess you could say t)(at, but t)(at makes it sound like I’ll be putting you in mazes wit)( c)(eese at t)(e end for science!”

“uH, wHAT'S CHEESE,”

“O)(, sorry, I forgot. It’s an underwater delicacy! S)(oot, I s)(ould )(ave broug)(t some )(ere! But anyways, w)(at do you say? Only good can come out of it for you, but I won’t force you to do it if you don’t want to!”

He thought about it and decided, even if it didn’t work out, at least he’d get to spend some time with Feferi.

“sURE THING, fEFERI, wHEN ARE WE STARTING THIS, uHHH, cULLING,”


“Well, we can start rig)(t now! OK, so, I’ve decided to start wit)( an examination.” She opened a briefcase that Eridan brought to her and shuffled through some papers until she found the one she was looking for.

“A)(, )(ere we go! So, )(ere’s some questions to )(elp me get an idea about your life. Number one, )(ow does your life affect your disability? I mean, )(ow does your disability affect your life?" She looked up, anxiety obvious in her face. "I’m sorry, I’m kind of nervous!”

“iT'S NO PROBLEM fEFERI, uH, nOT THE DISABILITY, i MEAN, bUT THE NERVOUSNESS, tHE WHEELCHAIR MAKES IT PRETTY HARD TO GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING, bUT OTHERWISE IT DOESN'T AFFECT ME THAT MUCH, i'VE GOTTEN KIND OF USED TO IT,”

“OK, t)(at’s good! Question two, would you rat)(er )(ave your disability cured, w)(ich would take a lot of time or may even be impossible, or get used to your condition and into a state w)(ere you can be )(appy and contribute to society? Wait, no, t)(ose two are supposed to be switc)(ed around. But I guess t)(at doesn’t matter does it? O)( s)(ut up –Eridan!” She threw a cushion at Eridan, who had been trying to hold in his laughter and failed.

Eridan responded in his strange accent, “sorry fef but youre wworrying too much just go wwith the floww and ask the questions calmly”

“O)( and you get mad at me for my puns.” She threw another cushion and continued, “But anyways, Tavros, w)(ic)( one would you rat)(er strive for?”

He thought about it for a second and replied, “uH, wELL, i'M ALREADY PRETTY USED TO MY WHEELCHAIR AND I THINK THAT I COULD CONTRIBUTE PRETTY GOOD, sO I GUESS I HAVE TO GO WITH THE FIRST ONE, iF IT WOULDN’T BE TOO MUCH TROUBLE,”

Feferi scribbled some things down on her paper and looked around for another sheet which she found soon enough. Reading out loud, she said “All rig)(t then, since you’re in a w)(eelc)(air and you want to try to get out of it I’ll need to get you some robotics. And for t)(hat I’ll need you to take off your pants.”

Eridan quickly whipped his head around and stared at Feferi with a look as if she had suggested they all get into a bucket together. Tavros, too stared in confusion until Feferi looked up and apparently realized what she had just said and all it’s possible connotations, as her face turned bright pink.

“O)( no, I don’t mean anyt)(ing like that! I mean, I need to get a look of your legs up to at least your t)(ig)(s so I know w)(at your measurements and all of t)(at stuff. I guess if you )(ave any s)(orts t)(at could really )(elp. But t)(en again, land-dwellers aren’t as into fas)(ion as us sea-dwellers so I don’t know if you )(ave any s)(orts.”

“aCTUALLY, tHAT FRIEND YOU MENTIONED, gRIMaUXILIATRIX IS FASHION-MINDED, aND SHE'S SENT ME A COUPLE OF CLOTHES, i'M PRETTY SURE SHE MIGHT HAVE SENT ME SOME SHORTS WITH THAT, bUT IT'LL TAKE SOME TIME TO CHANGE,”

“Do you t)(ink you could c)(ange faster if –Eridan )(elped you?” She looked towards Eridan and put on puppy eyes and quivered her lips in a manner that could make even the stoniest of trolls feel sympathy.

Eridan sighed and walked over to Tavros’s wheelchair and said, “ok jeez ill help him you knoww i cant resist that look”

“T)(at’s w)(y I did it,” Feferi replied as Eridan wheeled Tavros to his respiteblock.


“howw did that happen” Eridan asked to no one in particular as he closed the door.

“hOW DID WHAT HAPPEN,” Tavros asked back, moving his wheelchair to his closet and searching for Kanaya’s gift.

“howw is it that ivve known fef practically since we came out of the trials and the closest ivve gotten to red wwith her wwas wwhen ter held up some of that kissing plant over us but youvve knowwn her for 15 fucking minutes,” Eridan turned to look at Tavros “and shes flushed for you”

Tavros whipped his head around and asked, “wHAT DID YOU SAY,”

Eridan only closed his eyes, smiled, and replied, “you heard me come on you think i can be moirals wwith fef for 8 swweeps and not knoww wwhen shes flushed for someone” He opened his eyes, “and dont think i didnt catch you lookin at her like that oh hey let me help you wwith that” Eridan moved over to Tavros, who had found the shorts, and helped him by taking off his pants.

Tavros allowed Eridan to do so, then began squirming his way into the shorts. As he did so, he replied, “oK, eVEN IF SHE'S FLUSHED FOR ME AND ME BACK TO HER, wHAT CAN I DO, sHE'S THE EMPRESS OF ALL TROLLS, aND I'M JUST A CRIPPLED BROWN BLOOD,”

Eridan once again smiled and answered, “just take my advvice to fef and go wwith the floww i used to be a lot like you wwhen it came to romance desperate confused and pathetic” His face moved closer to Tavros’s face “and i don’t wwant you to be like that”

Tavros looked into Eridan’s eyes for a second and asked, “sO IS THAT THE REASON YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS, eVEN THOUGH YOU, uHHH, lOVE HER TOO,”

Eridan turned away and said, “yeah i figure that wwe aint gettin red anytime soon so i might as wwell be the best moirail she could evver havve” He glanced at Tavros’s grubtop, “and it’s also a wway to say thanks for having her remind mindfang just howw despicable i really am” And with that he opened the door.


“Finally!” Feferi exclaimed as she jumped up from the seat, “W)(y were you guys talking so muc)( in t)(ere?”

Eridan looked from Feferi to Tavros and back again, before replying with a wink, “oh nothin i wwas just bein a good moirail”

Feferi gave a confused look, but still walked over to Tavros, commenting, “)(ey Tavros, you look pretty good in s)(orts!” Tavros only blushed in reply and looked over to Eridan, who seemed content with the situation. Feferi pulled out a measuring tape and took various lengths, widths, and circumferences.

“You’ll only get t)(e best treatment there is, and t)(e best robotics too! But, I )(ave to warn you, the guy w)(o makes these t)(ings is kinda weird, and )(e mig)(t be a little mean to you because of your blood.” She looked up into Tavros’s face and gave a grin, “T)(at’s anot)(er t)(ing I’m intending on fixing in t)(is empire.”

Tavros returned the smile, and then it seemed Feferi was done. She packed up her papers and measuring tape. “Well then, t)(anks a lot for being suc)(a great first try at t)(is t)(ing, Tavros! In fact,” she added with a wink, “I t)(ink I mig)(t come back to cull you more often!”

“i'D LIKE THAT, fEFERI,” Tavros replied, and she walked out of his door. Eridan followed, and, to Tavros, said

“don’t screww this up man she is quite the catch after all” And with that he closed the door. As they left, Tavros could only look up in his wheelchair and ask himself, tHE EMPRESS, rEALLY,

No, it most definitely was not an ordinary day for Tavros.

[raequiem]

Sionnan, you have no idea how much I want to draw that birthday card.

Myth, you write Feferi so cute! Only concrit I have is that Eridan seemed kind of unusually chill with the whole situation, and just OOC in general. Bluh bluh good fic though.