MSPA Fanfiction III

[KarneWarrior]

Karkat writes a poem.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?!

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WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOK THEM?
I'LL FUCKING KICK YOU INTO THE MOON.
GIVE ME BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
GAMZEE IF YOU TOOK THEM...
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU FUCKING GOON.
GIVE ME BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
YOU DON'T HAVE THEM?!
DID TEREZI TAKE THEM TO HER ROOM?
I CAN SEE HER TAKING AL OUR SPOONS. FOR NO REAL FUCKING RASON.

WHERE THE FUCK, ARE ALL OUR FUCKING SPOONS?!
THERE WERE HERE A MINUTE AGO!
STRIDER YOU FUCKING LOON,
GIVE BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE ALL OUR SPOONS?
EGBERT THIS IS THE WORST PRANK IN THE HISTORY OF BOTH OUR UNIVERSES.
GIVE THEM BACK YOU FUCKING IDIOT BEFORE I TEAR OUT YOUR THINK PAN AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOOK YOU FUCKING BUFFOON.
GIVE US BACK OUR FUCKING SPOONS!

SERIOUSLY I HAVE SOME FUCKING PUDDING AND I CAN'T USE A FUCKING FORK WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR FUCKING SPOONS?!

Karkat: The next great poet? It's more likely than you think.

[Decker]

@Decker - Really great take on the flash-step thing, I like that idea quite a lot.

THIS. This is getting added to my personal head canon. I love the idea that the rap is less of a hobby and more of a way to keep his sense of the rhythm honed. Also, it makes me think that everything has a beat, a rhythm that's part of it, and partly the reason why the flashstep works is because bro is thwarting the rhythm by moving out of sync, on the downbeat rather than the upbeat, so it disorients people's innate sense of rhythm. I LOVE FIC THAT MAKES ME THINK.

Thanks. It seemed to me that music was a Strider thing, and I thought about how timing and beat are so important to music, and how it was appropriate with Dave being the knight of time and all. From there I kinda ran with it.

[SataiDelenn]

Karkat writes a poem.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?!

...ah ha ha ha I laughed way too hard at this. that was amazing.

[Bratmon]

Karkat writes a poem.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?!

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WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOK THEM?
I'LL FUCKING KICK YOU INTO THE MOON.
GIVE ME BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
GAMZEE IF YOU TOOK THEM...
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU FUCKING GOON.
GIVE ME BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
YOU DON'T HAVE THEM?!
DID TEREZI TAKE THEM TO HER ROOM?
I CAN SEE HER TAKING AL OUR SPOONS. FOR NO REAL FUCKING RASON.

WHERE THE FUCK, ARE ALL OUR FUCKING SPOONS?!
THERE WERE HERE A MINUTE AGO!
STRIDER YOU FUCKING LOON,
GIVE BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE ALL OUR SPOONS?
EGBERT THIS IS THE WORST PRANK IN THE HISTORY OF BOTH OUR UNIVERSES.
GIVE THEM BACK YOU FUCKING IDIOT BEFORE I TEAR OUT YOUR THINK PAN AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOOK YOU FUCKING BUFFOON.
GIVE US BACK OUR FUCKING SPOONS!

SERIOUSLY I HAVE SOME FUCKING PUDDING AND I CAN'T USE A FUCKING FORK WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR FUCKING SPOONS?!

Karkat: The next great poet? It's more likely than you think.

I know it's Bro. But I don't remember how I know it's Bro.

I've been reading fanfiction too long.

[KarneWarrior]

Karkat writes a poem.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOK THEM?
I'LL FUCKING KICK YOU INTO THE MOON.
GIVE ME BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
GAMZEE IF YOU TOOK THEM...
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU FUCKING GOON.
GIVE ME BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE SPOONS?
YOU DON'T HAVE THEM?!
DID TEREZI TAKE THEM TO HER ROOM?
I CAN SEE HER TAKING AL OUR SPOONS. FOR NO REAL FUCKING RASON.

WHERE THE FUCK, ARE ALL OUR FUCKING SPOONS?!
THERE WERE HERE A MINUTE AGO!
STRIDER YOU FUCKING LOON,
GIVE BACK THE FUCKING SPOONS!

WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE ALL OUR SPOONS?
EGBERT THIS IS THE WORST PRANK IN THE HISTORY OF BOTH OUR UNIVERSES.
GIVE THEM BACK YOU FUCKING IDIOT BEFORE I TEAR OUT YOUR THINK PAN AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOOK YOU FUCKING BUFFOON.
GIVE US BACK OUR FUCKING SPOONS!

SERIOUSLY I HAVE SOME FUCKING PUDDING AND I CAN'T USE A FUCKING FORK WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR FUCKING SPOONS?!

Karkat: The next great poet? It's more likely than you think.

I know it's Bro. But I don't remember how I know it's Bro.

I've been reading fanfiction too long.

"Bro wondered how they hadn't found him yet. After all, he had stolen all the spoons."

Yeah I inspired myself because I'm a insufferable prick.

And megalomaniac.

And evil doctor.

And a vampire.

Ladies...

[Summergale]

Two minifics I wrote while listening to music and decided I had to finish them before the song ended. They somehow turned into Rosefics. Oh well. (The first one is Rose/John, in case you don't like that pairing.)

Evanescence - Even In Death

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In the alternate timeline, there is one thing, exactly one thing Rose Lalonde will never, ever share.

She hears John. Sometimes it's more like a comforting presence, a warm embrace around the shoulders when the room is cold, or a vage feeling of encouragement as she pores over her tomes. But other times, she swears she can hear his voice - a laugh, or a disappointed sigh. She's sure that, were Dave ever to know, he'd call her crazy and say that 'the loneliness is getting to her'.

But... Rose knows she's not crazy. Just because nobody else can hear him, see him, doesn't mean he isn't there. One night, she turns from the hubtop and sees his silhouette against the moonlight. When she blinks, he's gone.

She's not crazy. Dave will set this right and she'll have him back. She's not crazy.

Within Temptation - Stand My Ground

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"Just give it up, doll. I know your friends are in there."

Rose plants her feet into the chalk, readies the Quills of Echnida, and just glares. Bec Noir towers before her, an omnipotent hellhound and quite possibly more terrifying than any horrorterror she has ever faced. But she stands firm, crackling with energy. Noir could strike her down in an instant, but he's holding back. It's as if this amuses him somehow. The light of her Land bathes him, makes him glimmer beneath the overpoweriing pastel skies, and Rose just holds. They need more time to work, something that for once Dave cannot give. Rose is here to make sure they get that time.

"You're going to have to go through me," she murmurs, knowing full well that he could do so in the time it would take her to breathe once. "I move for nobody." Melodramatic, she thinks, but it works.

[egregiousBass]

LET'S DO THIS.

Inspiration from Green Dave, one of Katrika's poems and Frank Fontaine's Little Sisters Orphanage from Bioshock =P

Lord English' Care Center for the Paradoxically Doomed

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Black was keeping watch from one of the mansion's balconies. Sleeves was going to come back with supplies any second, and he had to be prepared for it. There was no real reason for this; when there were no serious boring jobs left to do, Black just invented more.

Of course, 'Black' and 'Sleeves' weren't real names. They were both Dave. But when you live together with carbon copies of yourself, you need to compromise to have any semblance of identity. In any case, Black had the spiffiest suit and that made him the serious businessman.

Conversely, it was in Sleeves' character to get in his hair at every oppurtunity. He took pride in it, wearing a casual long-sleeved shirt instead of a suit. They had all been such a chill dude in the alpha timeline. Why change that now? Though he figured getting kicked out of the alpha timeline had changed each of them in some way, himself excluded.

Well, except for one. A real odd case. One that looked and sounded like Dave, but had nothing else in common. And what the hell was he wearing, some kind of surf kid getup? None of the others knew where he came from, and the Dave in question was too much of an airhead to give a straight answer.

He was upbeat, sort of like Red, only ridiculously so. Would get excited about some silly thing and slump into a sad spell right after. Right now he was probably off catching butterflies or some stupid shit like tha-

"Daaaaaave!"

Motherfucking shit dick.

An ambush. Just perfect.

"Did you go see Mr. Scratch? What's in the basket? Can I see?"

"Dude, it's just bread. Chill."

"Yaaaay! Bread!"

Sleeves brought a palm to his face. They'd been chewing on bread so much already he could feel his gut flora having vegetarian drum circles. He went inside, with the other Dave bugging him along the way.

"So what kind is it?"

"The same fucking bread as always."

"Can I have a bite?"

"No."

"Pleeeease?"

"Ugh."

They entered the victorian-style living room, where a certain wise feathery asshole was propped up in a lazy chair. The fireplace projected a peculiar glow onto his orange ectoplasm. He was engrossed in his Charles Dutton novel. The other Daves often went to him for questions and pep talks. Not that he had any kind of wisdom. He was only five months older, which wasn't a long time at all. But if he couldn't be the wise feathery asshole, then what else could he be, aside from just a regular feathery asshole?

Sleeves put the basket on a commode, telling his alternate self that it would be rationed just like everything else. They were all lucky to still exist, but their mysterious benefactor didn't exactly shower them with food, and not even running errands could boost their supply to something comfortable.

"You're a real downer, you know that?", said the silly Dave, trying to look angry but failing.

"From your perspective, I bet everyone is."

"Not really! Red is pretty nice and Black is just really boring. And Green..."

Sleeves inadvertently turned away. He really didn't want to be reminded of that.

"What? Don't you like him?" The kid was getting pretty worked up now.

"Shit went down in the alpha timeline. Just forget about it."

"Come oooon! Why can't you all get along?!"

Sleeves looked him right in the eyes, his expression dead serious. "Have you ever travelled trough time?" The other Dave was silent.

"Exactly. The most basic fucking rule is that you don't mess with your past selves. If it doesn't fuck everything up, you end up talking to yourself and having the same conversation twice through stupid reacharound shit. It fucks with your head. That's why I don't bother with any of you guys."

Sleeves motioned to leave. Greenie grabbed him by the arm. "B-but... We're all here now anyway! Seperately! Can't we be friends?"

"Who cares, we're still the same fucking person."

"No."

They both started at Davesprite's sudden interjection. He had some wisdom to dish out.

"I spent five months in a doomed timeline before coming back. I talked with my past self. And I can tell you we were pretty fucking different."

His feathery form was floating above the chair, with the fire reflected in his shades. It would be pretty motherfucking scary if he also wasn't such a loveable douche.

"We're all Dave at heart. But we change. Even our perspectives make us different." He settled back down. "So why don't you stop moping and see if you can learn something from eachother."

Perspectives? Sleeves couldn't help but think of Green. Bastard had gotten screwed just by taking a nap. And it was thanks to his own indecision that they were both stuck here now. As a silver lining, he got to wear this bitchin shirt while Green was stuck with the horrendous felt suit forever. Still not as green as this fucker tugging at his arm right now.

"See? You really should lighten up!", he proudly exclaimed, pretending to understand what Davesprite had just said.

"Well?" The ghostly Dave moved right next to them. "It looks like I'm some kind of fatherly feathery asshole here, so I think you'd better make up before I fly off the fucking handle and into some stupid disappointment speech."

Sleeves sighed. He was the most 'up to date' Dave with the most time travelling on record, so he was pretty much fed up with alternate selves. But he figured it wouldn't hurt to open up. Just a little.

"Fine. Tonight we're all gonna eat this bread together, while talking about feelings like we mean it. How fucking swell does that sound?"

The other Dave's face bloomed into a huge smile. With a sudden movement, he flopped his arms around Sleeves, who was taken aback by the sudden painfully unironic display of affection. Still, he returned the gesture, treating his airheaded paradox self to a (recursive) brotherly hug.

The latter Dave glanced at Davesprite, pleading for him to join in. He said no.

[Graven_Image]

I giggled like a retard at that.

Do more. Please.

[Sionnan]

@eB: YES. Where all the Daves go when the timelines shunt them down the pipeholes. They sit around and bicker at each other in some random pocket dimension.

[egregiousBass]

Wow, I made Graven giggle like a retard. I'm honestly proud.
I will do more, when I get ideas =P

And I made a huge fail, typing "Red" instead of "Sleeves" after a certain point. Sleeves is casual Dave who hasn't had a timeline-breaking event in Homestuck (yet?), Red is plush suit Dave who got sliced by DD. I promise I'll give them all proper names eventually.

[Katrika]

Oh my goodness, I'm glad I inspired that! And now I wanna do a micrometer version of that fic.

[Wigmund]

@EB: So I guess that is Hell for Dave. Being trapped with himself, and himself, and himself and so on for the rest of eternity.

Wait the fic that got the famous horror author Wigmund into writing was
@_@
A Grub-fic?????

And you're the one to blame for all of it. Congrats and thanks for spurring my now somewhat obsessive writing habit.

Speaking of Grubfics, I've been planning on doing one last one for the holidays for about a month now, but I'm just now realizing... uh... that I need twelve six-letter names . It's the obstacles you don't think of, isn't it? The other grubfics and hybrid fics already got the good ones!

Oh damn, you just spurred me into whipping up a quick little hybrid fic. Thanks Skaian...

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On The Naming Of Hybrids
(Continuation of The Hybrid Tales Fic, links in my sig below)

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The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter

It wasn't long after Jade and John left that the Guardians arrived. Mr Egbert, Mrs Lalonde and Mr Harley all stop and stared in wonder at the twelve new arrivals that the kids and trolls were handling with considerable caution. Dad and Mom looked at all the small wonders and reached out to hold each others hands.

Hass 'The Flame' Harley stalked over to Karkat, who hadn't noticed the parents' arrival and was busy messing with his little hybrid.

Hass stopped behind Karkat and gave him an intense stare. Karkat froze like a preybeast caught in the gaze of a dread musclebeast.

Kade just cooed and continued to reach out for Karkat's nubby horns.

Karkat slowly turned around and looked up at Grandpa Harley.

"Oh...hi there..."
One of Hass' eyebrows twitched.
"What? I didn't cause this!
It was John that created all these...babies?...grubs?"
The glare continued unabated, only Grandpa now loomed over the poor troll who was cringing in fear - holding Kade in front of himself as a tiny shield.
"I swear man! I didn't do anything to Jade!
I'd never do anything like that to Jade!"
Mustache twitch.
"That's right!
I don't need to make your granddaughter an 'honest woman'!Whatever that means"

Hass then took the small hybrid from Karkat and held her at arm's reach. The hybrid reached out for the large man.
"raa! raa ra RAA!"
The world stopped as everyone watched Grandpa Harley hold the small thing.

Then he smiled and started to laugh as he hugged his great-grandchild.

Jade did her little happy dance and hugged her grandfather.

John came out from behind his dad and Rose's mother and looked up at them.

"So...I guess this means we need to come up with some names - doesn't it?"

Dad and Mom looked at each other smiled.

Later on, they had the twelve hybrids in a specially refurbished room. A safe place that would be great for them to crawl around and explore without any risk of real harm to the little monsters.

The twelve trolls, four kids and three guardians were also there. They had organized themselves into which kid they had a hybrid with and each troll held their hybrid.

Mrs Lalonde was sitting at a computer and brought up a strange website and brought up a holographic projection of it so everyone could see it.

"A baby name website? Why can't we just make stupid little portmanteaus of our names for these babies?
That would be easier."
"Because most of the results would be rather silly and inappropriate for our children."
"Wait, I did that to name Kade! Are you saying -"
"Exactly.
'Kade' is a Scottish boy's name."
"How do you..."
"I have many hobbies Jade. Many hobbies."
John and Kanaya both looked at the now quiet blonde and smiled at her.

"Well, I guess this means we need to get started. We don't have all night."
And so the naming began...
John/Vriska

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"His name is Poe."
John looked at their hybrid and then into Vriska's intense glare.
"Guess that settles it."

Name picked for male hybrid of John Egbert and Vriska Sekret: Poe

John/Nepeta

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"And Nepeta, have you already picked out a name for our hybrid?"
"X33 < Oh yes, our cub shall be known as the mighty Leo!
>:]] < You want to disagr33 with me John?"
"Nope, I like my kidneys right where they are."

Name picked for male hybrid of John Egbert and Nepeta Leijon: Leo

John/Equius

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"Last one for me. Let me guess - you've already picked out a name for our hybrid."
Equius carefully held his sweating hybrid and stared at the floating list of names and their respective meanings.
"D--> Unfortunately, I had not put any thought into the naming of this abomination."
"Hey!"
"D--> It is uncooth for a troll to associate with, let alone name, their progeny.
D--> This is so decadent. I need another towel."
Equius glanced at his hybrid and then back up at the list.

He suddenly pointed out a name.
"D--> That one. That is the appropriate name for our STRONG and MIGHTY child."
John looked up at the name as Dave started to laugh at how silly it looked.
"You sure? It's kinda silly."
Equius glared at John.
"Welp, I'm done for the night."

Name picked for male hybrid of John Egbert and Equius Zahhak: Maynard

Rose/Gamzee

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"Oh FuCk, LoOk At AlL tHoSe NaMeS!
It'S a FuCkInG mIrAcLe YoU hUmAnS cAn EvEn PiCk OuT jUsT oNe FoR yOuR bAbIeS."
"Well, most of us have a middle name as well as a first name and our family names."
"ShIt, WhAt'S yOuR mIdDlE nAmEs My MoThErFuCkInG nEw FrIeNdS?"
Dave, John, Rose and Jade all glanced at each other in embarrassment.
"Gamzee, have you picked out a name for our daughter?"
"FuCk No, ThErE'S jUsT tOo MaNy. WhAt If I pIcK sOmEtHiNg ShE hAtEs?"
"That's always a risk.
But what about this name?
It means 'Rainbow'"
"Oh FuCkInG mIrAcLeS!"

Name picked for female hybrid of Rose Lalonde and Gamzee Makara: Iris

Rose/Eridan

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"I knoww, Roz. It's my turn to pick out a fuckin name for this thing."
Eridan glared at Rose as he carefully cradled their hybrid and let her play with his scarf. Rose just couldn't help smiling at how cute they were together.
"Have you picked one out Eridan?
Or do you need help?"
"Fuck that Roz. I have already picked the best name for our hybrid."
Eridan handed off the child to Rose and pointed out a girl's name on the list.
"There."
"Not bad Eridan, not bad.
The name does refer to a mutual interest."

Name picked for female hybrid of Rose Lalonde and Eridan Ampora: Sybil

Rose/Kanaya

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Rose sat down next to Kanaya and their little one. Kanaya just stared at the girl in a mix of horror, love and confusion.
"I Never Wanted Anything Like This Rose.
I Am Not An Individual Who Seems To Get Along With Children It Seems."
"Give it a chance dear. I have a feeling that she'll grow on you."
Kanaya stared at Rose in horror.
"Oh...Is That How These 'Babies' Grow? They Become Parasitic Growths Upon One Of Their Parents?
That Explains Why There Is No Longer A Mr Lalonde or Mrs Egbert, Harley or Strider."
Rose started to laugh uncontrollably. The jade-blooded troll gave the girl a sullen, hurt look.
"Oh god, I'm sorry about that Kanaya. No, that's not how humans work. Well, at least not until we're well into our teenage years."
Rose looked at the glowing list and pointed to a name.
"How about that one Kanaya?"
"It Means 'All Gifts'? I Guess That Is An Appropriate Name."
"Just wait until I show you the legend it comes from..."

Name picked for female hybrid of Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam: Pandora

Dave/Sollux

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Dave and Sollux glared at each other. They both wondered why the fuck either John or the Ectobiological Machinery choose to combine them.

Maybe something out there had a horrible sense of humor.

"So, have you decided on a name yet?"
"No, II'm thtiill lookiing. There are tho many nameth.
And II don't want to giive thiith kid a thtupiid name."
"Well then, let me choose one liithpy."
"Fuck you athhole."
Dave didn't listen to the angry troll, he had gotten up and was staring at the list of names.
"That one."
"That'th an iincrediibly thtupiid name you thhiithead.
Iit'th almotht ath bad ath the one Equiiuth piicked out for hiith hybriid."
Dave turned around and shrugged at Sollux.
"It's ironic. Besides, it means bright intellect.
I kinda figure anything that's made from a combination of us would at least have some brains."
Sollux looked at his hybrid who was still cringing from the onslaught of curses his troll parent had just unleashed at Dave.
"Well, okay then."
"Pity that's all the kid will have going for him."

Name picked for male hybrid of Dave Strider and Sollux Captor: Hubert

Dave/Aradia

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Aradia stared at what should not exist that currently sat on the ground in front of her.

The baby stared back.

"So...are you going to hold our baby?"
"N0."
"Well...have you picked a name for the boy?"
"Yes."
The robot girl handed Dave a slip of paper with the name and meaning written down upon it.
"Huh, that's a good choice.
I like it."

Name picked for male hybrid of Dave Strider and Aradia Megido: Horace

Dave/Terezi

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"So, 1t's my turn now D4v3?"
Had to save the best for last."
"You s4y such fl4tt3r1ng th1ngs D4v3.
Just so you know, 1 h4v3 4lr34dy p1ck3d 4 n4m3 for our ch1ld."
"Actually, I wanted to name him 'Clancy'. It was my bro's name.
I think it's a fitting tribute."
Terezi and the hybrid glared at Dave. Dave still couldn't figure out how the blind girl could do that so well.
"Cl4ncy?"
"Yeah."
"Th4t n4m3 sucks 4ss D4v3."
"But it was Bro's name!"
"D1d your Bro 3v3r go by th4t n4m3?"
"Well...no."
"3x4ctly, b3c4us3 1t's 4 stup1d n4m3.
M34nwh1l3, 1 h4v3 4 p3rf3ctly d3c4d3nt n4m3 for our b4by."
"What is it?"
Terezi whispered the name into Dave's ear. He pinched the bridge of his nose and cradled his head.

That crazy girl and her obsessions.

Name picked for male hybrid of Dave Strider and Terezi Pyrope: Red

Jade/Karkat

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"So there's no way I can convince you to change the name?"
"Why? It's not like there's anyone else here to judge her."
"Come on Karkat! It's silly to give a girl a boy's name.
It's something those wackos back on Earth would do to feel self-important and would end up burdening their child for the rest of their life."
"You humans are fucking insane with your obsessions about sex, gender and all of that."
"This comes from a member of a race obsessed with the color of their blood and playing romantic four-square."
Karkat cringed at that jab.
"Well okay. But I still like the name. It's a combination of our own names, just like the baby is a combination of us."
Jade sighed and glared at the silly troll boy. He was so hard to resist when he dropped the angry asshole persona.
"Well, okay. Let's just change how you've been pronouncing the name at least."
"I'm fine with that. How about you kid?"
"RAA!"

Name picked for female hybrid of Jade Harley and Karkat Vantas: Kade
"It's pronounced 'Kay-dee' you fucking shit-hive maggots!"

Jade/Tavros

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"I've already picked out a name Jade."
"You mean 'Wendy'?"
"Is it a bad name? I picked it from the 'Peter Pan' story from your world."
Jade smiled at Tavros and picked up their kid.
"Actually, I like 'Wendy' myself.
Besides, it also means 'friend' according to the list Mrs Lalonde has up."

Name picked for female hybrid of Jade Harley and Tavros Nitram: Wendy

Jade/Feferi

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"O)( glub Jade. There are SO MANY NAM-ES to cull from!"
"Well, I find it easier to just narrow down the list to a theme you like."
Feferi beamed at Jade as she bounced around the room holding her little giggling hybrid.
"O)( MY COD! THAT MAK-ES THIS SO MUC)( -EASI-ER!"
"It does, as long as it's not a fishy pun I'm fine with anything you pick Feferi."
Feferi puffed up her cheeks at Jade and gave her a dirty look.
"O)( you...
Wait! That one! That one! That's the perfect name!"
Jade looked at the name Feferi was excitedly pointing at and then its meaning. She then glanced at the beaming hybrid that giggled excitedly at her troll mother danced around with her.
"You know, that's rather appropriate."

Name picked for female hybrid of Jade Harley and Feferi Peixes: Meryl

The naming was complete. Mrs Lalonde entered the twelve choices into the computer network. John glanced over her shoulder and saw that she had been working on custom nameplates for various bits of furniture that the children would need.

Once she was done with that, Mrs Lalonde took ahold of her love's hand. The kids and trolls left the room and went to their respective dorms, leaving the hybrids with the adults to watch over them. Dad and Mom looked at their twelve grandchildren and smiled while they held each other.

Life was going to be wonderful.

There was nothing that could spoil it now.

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HOO HOO hee hee haa haa

A/N:

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And now the hybrid babies are named. I'm done with them, done with the TerrorCal fics that immediately follow this and done with the Karaoke Night after that. I'm not done with the Alive!Aradia stories, I just need to think up more stories.

Thanks you Skaian for in a way reminding me that I needed to give the brats names.

[Bufu]

EB I can't stop giggling, this is awesome a housefull of daves can only lead to hilarity and sitcom-esque shenanigans. ironically, of course.

well okay aside from dave harley he just plain doesn't get irony

[Sionnan]

Another installment of the Strider variety.

Swordplay indoors and homophones.

-Key-

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Bro is yet again at his ineffable antics. Dave emerges from his online forays when he hears unorthodox clattering coming from the main room, to find his brother busily setting up a few stacks of cinderblocks. Where the dude gets these is beyond Dave,and how the fuck he gets them up the stairs or elevator is similarly mystifying. But he doesn't ask, partly because it sounds like a question that would have an obvious answer that Dave simply isn't grasping, but also partly because it would give Bro the satisfaction of Dave looking like a chump. So he just pretends it's as obvious as it is obviously strange.

Instead, he raises a quizical eyebrow as he hovers between the hall and living room, eying the mess scattered around the carpet. It looked as if Bro had cleared away anything that might get tangled underfoot, like wires and empty boxes and the occasional roaming puppet, and was now laying out planks across the evenly spaced blocks. He glances over his shoulder when he senses another person, and grins at Dave without turning around fully. "Hey, man. Am I bothering you?" He turns away as if Dave's response doesn't worry him too much, and spaces out the planks for whatever reason, using the width of his hand as a gauge.

It's kinda like getting stabbed in the heart by an icicle. SO COOL.

Dave makes some noncommital noise, and pulls himself off the doorway before he can become a permanent fixture in the moulding. "What in the Christ are you doing?"

"I am..." he trails off as he crouches at one end of the cinderblock/plank structure and bounces from foot to foot, judging the straightness of his handiwork. "...training. And making you train."

Didn't they have a roof for this? Why was all of this crap in the living room and not up there. "Uh, I think you might have missed the roof by, like, one flight, dude. But hey, that's cool, I mean, in your old age, I can understand your senility. We can pick up some gingko bilboa from that health food store with that cashier chick you oggle every time we hit up the taco stand."

"Yeaaaah! Ice burn my little man," is all that, and a wider grin, bro offers in response, acknowledging the dig with the appropriate hand shake

While Dave did not let it seep to his face, he couldn't help but smile inwardly that he'd managed to land a touch. "So why aren't you on the roof building your fort?"

Bro frowns lightly as he stands to survey his work, and nods. "Maintenance caught me up there trying to set up," he finally admits, casting him a wry look. "An' I mean," he holds open his palms, as if weighing scales. "I could just hang out up there for a few hours while they dick around and try to fix the AC, maxing out my speed so they can't see me violating building code by setting up my training gear. Or I could just do it in the privacy of my apartment." The latter sentence is voiced in over the top stuffiness, and he brings himself up to his full height to look stiffly down his nose, before a grin cracks his face, and he eases back into his normal slump.

"Okay, so this is training stuff."

"Yup." Bro pulls off his cap to scruff at his hair, releasing pent up heat, then jams it back on. "Go grab your katana."

Dave furrows his eyebrows at Bro, letting him know that this impingment on his free time is not welcome, but he slouches back to his bedroom to pull it off his sword rack. He briefly attends to his computer, which is patiently running a billion different things at once and somehow not suffering an aneurysm. Rose is bitching about her mom burning dinner, Jade's away message is up, and John is pestering Dave for help on an algebra equation. Algebra is definitely not his thing, so he suggests John ask his dad, and gets a ":<" in response.

Whatever, he's got his own shit to do. When he comes back in, he hears Bro suck in a sharp breath, and let it go in an explosive exhale that mirrors the downward sweep of his blade. It cleaves the solid wood as easily as it had air, and the two pieces of the plank sag together to drop to the floor with a muted thump. Dave likes seeing this stuff; when his brother's not being lazy, he's incredibly physically accomplished, and it's never old watching him wreck shit with such finesse.

Bro recovers from his lunge, and steps to one side to motion Dave forward. "C'mon, man. Try your hand at the plank."

Dave scuffs over, dropping in a movie reference as he asks, "Shouldn't be be doing this with our bare hands?" Not expecting an answer, he drops into his own, fairly common stance. He readies himself, takes in a breath- gotta be dead on, otherwise he'll just send the planks everywhere- and swings. The blade, to his credit, sinks a few inches into the plank and refuses to move further in any direction. "Aw COME ON."

Bro doesn't laugh, probably because he can spot how red Dave's ears are, even through his mess of hair. He reaches over and deftly free the blade. "Dawg, you're not feelin' it."

"What? God, if I were feeling it anymore, they'd need a restraining order against me."

Bro laughs this time, and says, "Nah, you don't get what I'm saying. You've got your technique on, but you're missing the ki."

"Key? Okay, so what does this key unlock. Why is it so important." He hates it when his brother pulls this cryptic bullshit, all Master Po up in his grill. It makes him feel like a moron.

For a second, Bro pauses, as if his mind got caught on some mental snag. Then, he lets off another of his easy chuckles. "Nah, nah, you're missing it. Not 'keeey'," he elaborates, drawing out and emphasizing the long flatness of the vowel. "Ki." The sound is shorter, like a brief puff of breath.

Dave hears the difference, and facepalms. "Oh God, seriously? You're seriously pulling that crappy kung fu movie stuff on me? You're just bigger and stronger than I am, and you've been doing this for years," he grumps, a little miffed that his brother is resorting to movie terminology.

Bro cocks his head at his younger brother, one rasied eyebrow disappearing under the brim of his hat. "You don't believe me? Alright, I'll show you." He readies himself again. "Without ki," he states, and lunges. While his sword definitely does embed further into the plank, it doesn't lop through it like it had before. With a grimace, Bro frees it, and flows back into his starting stance. "With ki." He takes a breath, and Dave feels a subtle push from his brother, not really physical seeing as he's well out of reach, but it's something that sends his hairs on end. Bro swings again, and there isn't even the sound of the blade impacting, it just cuts straight through the wood, and it is testament to his bro's control that it doesn't continue its arc and into the floor. The boards quietly clatter to the ground. They couldn't have been split cleaner by a diamond tipped saw.

"Ki, brah. Ki."

Dave wants to call bullshit. He wants to chew his brother out, claim it's all physical strength but in all honesty that was probably the coolest demonstration ever that ki actually exists. Because there's no way that the pulse he felt right before bro swung was coincidence or in his mind. "How the hell do you do that." It's not a question, because if he'd actually asked, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from sounding like some starstruck teenager.

Bro looks a little dismayed, and then changes his expression to one that Dave hates; it's the one where something about Dave specifically seems to click inside his brainpan, where something makes sense. "Takes years of practice, man. But I think you got it, you just gotta know how to draw it out."

Yes, that was the lead in he needed. Bro made it easy for him, whether by design or coincidence, he didn't know. "So. Show me."

Bro smiles. "Prepare to be schooled, m'boy."


Pesterlog

tG: its all like streetfighter up in this bitch

tG: an im all awwwww yeah hadoken motherfuckers

tG: got my ki on and shit

eB: :B

tG: shut up john

[raequiem]

eB: GreenDave is precious and adorable and I want one for Christmas thanks.

Wig: That was also precious and adorable.

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Except for the very end. Fuck you cheerfully for that one.

Sionnan: You cannot hope to defeat Bro in a badass-off. He is simply the best there is.

[Caprisaurus]

@@ Wigmund;; I gleefully laughed at the naming, especially Terezi's.

@@ Sionnan;; Yay!! More bro fic!! : D

[Katrika]

Wigmund! Does that mean Cal spared the babies? =O

Also, so cuuuute.

Sionnan: Yay!

[Wigmund]

Wigmund! Does that mean Cal spared the babies? =O

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The Demon didn't know about them.

[Nils]

An amusing little conversation between a blind troll and a coolkid. :3

[lucidSeraph]

@Sionnan - it's so refreshing to see someone who actually understands the concept of ki beyond "lololol DBZ! hurr :B " As always, delightful

@Bass - YES GREEN DAVE. this gives me hope that I am not totally failing at writing him

[Katrika]

Nils that was...magnificent.

[Nils]

Nils that was...magnificent.

Why thank you. x3 Thank my girlfriend for the Terezi lines. She's brilliant! :3

[DJ-P0N3]

My word, Christmas break
I have nothing to do

Psychoanalysis - Dave Strider

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Following John’s instructions I made my way to Texas. After taking the time to locate a directory, phone books, and various cab fare I made my way to the city of Houston, where the child presided. After an extraneous search of apartment after apartment I had finally discovered the household of Dave Strider. His brother was not present at the time so I let myself in, proceeding into Dave’s room I decided to greet him cautiously, I felt rude barging in.

The following is my investigation of this child.
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Hello Dave….your name is Dave, correct?
you bet it is, come to hear some sweet jams

No, I came to ask you a few questions, hope you don’t mind.
oh I mind

Then I will see you another time.
you dumpass just ask the damn questions

But…
just don’t waste my time

Right, well tell me about yourself.
aight, so I make these sweet comics. but see, they’re really bad and not funny, which I do on purpose, which makes them funny. see these puppets? my bro collects them, and they are really cool. so cool. especially Lil Cal. I also game and make some nice jams. that’s all really.

So you find these puppets ‘cool’?
you bet your ass. look at them, those huge proboscis like noses, those jutting rumps, so cool man. so cool.

Tell me about the relationship you have with your brother.
whats there to say besides it is fucking great. he lets me do what I want as long as it doesn’t mess with his shit you know, but sometime she lets me do it anyway, but he gets back at me with his puppets and ironic pranks. its cool, me and him are so chill. its like, we can do so much shit to each other, and it don’t matter, because we are so chill.

Do you have any parents?
I think I did, I am pretty sure they are dead. if not, think they just disowned me or some shit. not sure, I mean, not like I care. I’m chill, you know. its like, if they don’t want to be part of my life why should I want them to be part of mine.

Do you ever get lonely being home alone?
see people think I would get lonely, but I got cal and my friends online. so I’m good. John is usually on all the time, so are Rose and Jade.

What do you think of your friends?
john is an okay guy, when he’s not being an idiot. rose is pretty cool too, just not as cool as me. as for jade, yeah, me and her be chill.

I see, well as my final question I want to know what you thought of these proceedings.
thought it was alright. don’t want to do it again, kind of wish I hadn’t done it now, but I figured I might as well. You going to bother all of us with this? cause I will tell Rose and Jade.

I’m sure you will.
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Subject has a confusing rating level, either 2/5 or a nasty 5/5.
This child appears to use chill as an excuse to simply not care, appears to be dejected and displaced in common society. Lacks major social skills due to his constant desire to one up the person he is speaking with.
Emotionally unstable, if he shows a single bit of emotion outside of his usual ‘chill’ attitude it could potentially be an extreme emotion, and therefore dangerous to both him and the people around him.
Confused sexually via the puppets around him, not as in whether or not he is gay or straight, but perhaps an erotic fondness for puppets due to extreme exposure to puppets, including nude and inappropriate variety, forcing him to develop a fetish for puppets.
A clear case of denial, possibly entrapped in a state of depression due to lack of parental figure, and the only individual who is like a parent is abusive in physical and psychological ways.
Extreme consideration for calling child services and relocating the Strider child.
I will speak with this child again later, his attitude and actions are confusing, even for me.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Adorable, Wigmund, especially Grandpa instantly picking out one of his great-grandchildren at first sight. I loved the names and your/their reasonings for them, too! And I suppose I have to... *shudder*... respect your drive for continuity.

[Douhneill]

Wait, Dave and Terezi's kid is... A pokémon master? THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE!
Wait, wait, no it doesn't. Nevermind.

Loved that fic, though. Loved it.