MSPA Fanfiction III

[SkaianRedeemer]

Skaian, that fic blew me away so mych that team Katrika is blasting off again.

............................*distant ding sound*


@KanjiUsagi: I don't want to double post so I hope you catch this all the same. That was a great chapter! But I'm afraid I don't recognize the story . Could you fill me in?

[DJ-P0N3]

Fantasy come true

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Rose Lalonde woke up that morning the same as she normally would. Get out of bed, brush her teeth, take a shower, get dressed, and go to breakfast. By this time breakfast would’ve been prepared by her mother and it’d be sitting on the counter. It would be a delicious meal, eggs and steak, orange juice on the side. Elegantly put on fine china, an entire array of different dining forks would be set in a neat and tidy fashion. It had become a routine burned into Rose’s brain. So like any other morning she arose, performed the list mentioned prior, and as usual, attempts to one-up her mother in courtesy. However today she did not find a meal. She did not even see a plate set out for her, nor a note to inform her of any difference within the days schedule.

Indeed today was going to be different, she turned to get out of the seat when she finally came to the realization. The wizards within her home had come alive! The Wizards were conversing of both mystical creatures and their past experiences, as well as their origins and wizardry schooldays. Rose indulged in this, sitting on the stool she watched and listened.

“This is amazing…” She thought to herself, it was unbelievable, simply unfounded! “…could it be real?” Rose had gone through Sburb, all of which was very insane and hard to believe, so this was actually fairly likely. “It must be! I…I…I am so thrilled.”

Rose rushed off to her room, bumping into the wizards, she apologized with a less than sincere ‘sorry’ each time. Entering her room she noticed quickly her laptop was gone, rummaging through her Sylladex she could not find it either. Retracing her steps she sat down at her desk, where it had been before she now only saw piles of envelopes.

“These are…where did these come from?” She pressed a finger to one of the envelopes, it levitated into the air slowly and began to reshape itself into a pair of lips with ruffled paper teeth. It did not say anything at first, it merely floated in mid-air.

“H-hello?”

The envelope’s lips begin to move. “hey rose!” The voice sounded a lot like John. Inspecting this envelope further she discovered an insignia on it that read ‘ectoBiologist’. This was indeed John Egbert, or at least, how she could contact him.
Wizardry certainly is odd when applied to computer programming!

Show pesterlog

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- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:25 am –
TT: Hello?
EB: hey rose!
TT: John the most amazing thing is happening!
TT: Even now its just, so, words can not describe it!
EB: what has you so excited rose?
TT: The wizards within my home have come alive!
TT: My laptop is gone, I am communicating to you via this enchanted envelope with your chumhandle on it!
EB: slow down rose.
EB: you’re being serious?
TT: I would not joke about this John!
TT: Excuse me, I want to savor this. It might only last today.
EB: okay.
EB: bye!
TT: See you later!
- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:28 am –

Rose proceeded to descend her stairs and look at the Wizards fondly. Some of them were suggesting a friendly duel among one another. This was something she could not afford to miss, how often did a magic duel occur in one’s own home, let alone at all? Her eyes glistened with bewilderment as the two magic men clashed in an epic battle, spells pressed against one another. Sparks flew off as though they were fireworks, the energy and raw power coming forth brightened the entire building to a near blinding light.

This did not bother Rose, she simply watched in amazement. It was a spectacle, a marvel. Rose could not comprehend exactly how this had all happened, but she didn’t care. It was a miracle. She watched for what seemed like only minutes of her time, but were in fact hours. The wizards gathered around for a meal at her counter, she raided the fridge for a drink and a light snack. The magic men had taken up all the seats so she sat on the couch with two other wizards and an eldritch princess.

“So…if you don’t mind me asking…” Rose bit her lower lip, “How did you guys come to life?”

The wizards looked at her, befuddled, did she really not know? “My dear, you brought us to life.”

“I did?” Now she was at a loss for words.

“Indeed!” A wizard with a ridiculously pointy hat proclaimed, “You remember your secret wish? The shooting star a few moons ago?”

Rose pondered a moment, “shooting….star..?” It was then a flashback hit her, of course, it had only been a few days ago. She smiled , warmth began to fill her. This was a truly indescribable feeling. Not only had a miracle occurred, but she was the reason for it. A dream come true!

For the following days Rose indulged in this wonderland. She learned new spells, made new friends out of the many mages, she even began to become fond of a certain male wizard who had caught her eye. She began to speak with John, Dave, and Jade less and less. They were a little worried, but it was Rose, surely she would not be one to forget the basic necessities and needs of a living individual.

Rose woke up the next day and dragged herself out of bed, putting on new clothes and heading downstairs to see the wizards again. Instead she saw corpses, heaping, rotting, fleshy, corpses. Someone had murdered her magic friends. She rushed over to them and fell to her knees, holding close the young wizard who had won her heart.

“wwhat the fuck is wwrong wwith you?” Asked an unfamiliar voice, in a familiar tone.

Rose tried to cease her crying a moment to glimpse at the face of the murderer, looking up, she saw it. The jagged horns, the scarf, the dark cape, popped collar. This was an incredibly big douchebag. It was Eridan. “Did you do this?” She asked, her mood began to simmer with anger.

“yes I broke your shitty little statues.”

“Statues?”

“I wwas informed of this dumbfuckery by kar after the kids started wworryin about you. I decided to check on you for myself.”

“I was fine until you showed up.” She growled at him.

“Look at yourself!” Eridan shouted.

Rose looked at herself, she didn’t notice anything wrong, granted her clothing was not the cleanest due to the fresh blood on it because of holding close a dead love. “I…I am fine!”

“I thought so too, till I read this.” Eridan began to read aloud a letter that had been sent to Rose a matter of days ago.

“Dear Rose lalonde,
We regret, and woefully, inform you that your mother passed away on the operating table.
She was unconscious at the time, so the death was quick and painless.”

Eridan stopped reading there, the rest of the letter was of little importance. The façade that had surrounded Rose for the past days crumbled. The statues among the house had all been smashed, the fridge was empty of any food because it had all been placed on plates for the wizards, the food on the plates had begun to rot, covered in flies. Rose looked back at herself, she had lost weight, her healthy body had become a thinner frame.

“Why….” Rose began to cry, she had held such a strong grip on a lie she would’ve been content on dying with, “Why did you do this…”

Eridan neared her face, he smiled a sinister grin, “Because Rose…” He placed a light grip on her chin before forcing a kiss upon her, wrapping his tongue around hers. “you’re a fuckin idiot wwho needs to get back to real life.” He pulled away and spit. “You are miserable and lonely, just like me.”

Rose was devastated, what was she supposed to do. How was she supposed to respond to this flurry of emotions. Standing up, she realized how frail she had become, slumping down and relying on Eridan to stand. She held him close and continued to weep. Eridan lifted her up and set her down.

The road to recuperation would not be easy for Rose Lalonde, but she had a man by her side who was dedicated and with no better way to spend his time than for someone he loves.

Author's notes

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Inspiration comes in the strangest of places.

[KanjiUsagi]

@KanjiUsagi: I don't want to double post so I hope you catch this all the same. That was a great chapter! But I'm afraid I don't recognize the story . Could you fill me in?

Glad you liked it!

The original is a story called "The Little Blue Dishes." there's a family with three kids--a little girl with two older brothers. she wants a set of pretty porcelain dishes for christmas. her brother--the middle child--only has a penny and so he buys her a candy heart. that night the oldest brother eats the candy heart in his sleep (yeah, i dont know either ) and when he realizes what he did, he goes and buys the dishes with his ten cents to replace it, and when they wake up in the morning the other brother is _very_ confused as to how his candy heart turned into the dishes.

it's a very cute story, really.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@KanjiUsagi: I don't want to double post so I hope you catch this all the same. That was a great chapter! But I'm afraid I don't recognize the story . Could you fill me in?

Glad you liked it!

The original is a story called "The Little Blue Dishes." there's a family with three kids--a little girl with two older brothers. she wants a set of pretty porcelain dishes for christmas. her brother--the middle child--only has a penny and so he buys her a candy heart. that night the oldest brother eats the candy heart in his sleep (yeah, i dont know either ) and when he realizes what he did, he goes and buys the dishes with his ten cents to replace it, and when they wake up in the morning the other brother is _very_ confused as to how his candy heart turned into the dishes.

it's a very cute story, really.

Sounds like!

[ceruleanTresses]

I have lots of free time now that it's winter break, so if anyone has any suggestions for future Karkat's Diary topics, let me know! I'm having trouble thinking of ideas that don't suck.

Karkat writes a love poem to Jade that he will NEVER EVER EVER LET ANYONE ELSE ESPECIALLY HER SEE EVER.

IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT, KATRIKA. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF. ()

Karkat's Diary, Part 7

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ODE TO JADE

DEAR JADE, WHENEVER I THINK OF YOU
I FEEL MY LOBE STEM THROBBING.
I AM SO VERY FLUSHED FOR YOU
MY HEART YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBING.

YOUR EYES ARE GREEN AS GREENEST BRIGHTEST JADE
WHICH IS ALSO YOUR NAME, SO THAT WORKS.
YOUR HAIR IS BLACK AS MY REGISICKLE'S BLADE
AND YOUR CUTE TEETH ARE ALSO PERKS.
AND I ENJOY YOUR MANY QUIRKS.
WHEN I SEE YOU, MY HEART OVERWORKS.
OH FUCK THIS.

Karkat finds heartpoems more difficult to write than spadepoems, apparently.

[Nanakii]

Skaia- Now I wonder how Part 2 will go! I liked it a whole bunch. Must've taken forever to name them all~.
Annnd I like your inspiration, Mayor :O. That was a pretty neat fic- Poor Rose, I like how you wrote the story, with how she just sort of retreated into her fantasies after receiving the news.. And then here comes help in a way that wasn't quite expected! Write more, haha.

Man, everyone and your fics, they all rock!

[X15lm204]

I remember seeing a request for a Mass Effect/Homestuck crossover somewhere and the idea would not die. Here you go, whoever it was that inspired this.

In 2183 CE, Skaianet Labratories finally released their centuries delayed magnum opus - SBURB. While millions will play the game and only doom themselves faster, 11 adolescent children of various species - and one 13-month old synthetic gestalt - might have a chance at success.

If the Reapers want to bring Armageddon, they're going to have to get in line.

...Unfortunately, two of the children may have just inadvertently helped them cut...

Nazarasprite

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-- romanticPioneer [RP] opened memo on board PASS THE TORCH at 18:55 --
RP: ok so
RP: bg got me in
RP: with a bit of time to spare even for once
RP: chain is complete now
-- bellicoseGendarme [BG] began responding to memo at 18:56 --
BG: THERE HAVE BEEN, HOWEVER, SOME COMPLICATIONS.
-- mechanizedAbacus [MA] began responding to memo at 18:56 --
MA: C1ar1fy
-- inconveniencedBlasto [IB] began responding to memo at 18:57 --
IM: Things are not so idyllic in Eden, then?
RP: fu
RP: anyway you remember that mountain sized ship i was shitting my pants about a few minutes ago
RP: the one that was clinging to the side of my building but looked like it was going to bug out when it noticed the moon sized space rock on the way
-- etiologicalAnalyst [EA] began responding to memo at 18:59 --
EA: istilldonotbelieveyouaboutthatbytheway
EA: ashipthatlargesimplycouldnotlandplanetsidewithout
EA: annihilatingitselfandorthesurfaceoftheplanet
EA: theforcesinvolvedindeceleratingitalonewouldbeincal culable
MA: EA 1s m1s1nf0rmed d1sregarde h1s naysay1ng
RP: whatever
RP: so it was sort of climbing up the side of the building with its weird finger thingies
EA: excellentchoiceofterminologythere
RP: stfu
RP: one of them broke through the side of my apartment
RP: i thought it was going to crush me but then it hit the kernelsprite
MA: C0NF1RM 1MMED1AT1Y
-- refuseRedeemer [RR] began responding to memo at 19:03 --
RR: Oh shit, MA is capslockin
BG: I DON’T KNOW HOW IT ABSORBED SOMETHING SO BIG, BUT THE SHIP DID INDEED MERGE WITH THE KERNELSPRITE.
MA: DATA 1ND1CATES 0H SH1T 1S 1NDEED THE C0RRECT VERNACU1AR
MA: HAS REAPER-NAZARA ATTEMPTED C0MMUN1CAT1ON
RP: er if you mean the shipsprite so far its just making this weird staticy noise
-- garrulousExamplar [GE] began respongind to memo at 19:05 --
GE: When last the topic of your knowledge of this vessel was broached, MA, you claimed it would soon be rendered irrelevant. This occurrence renders your previous assessment null, I think.
MA: F0RM1NG C0NSENSUS
EA: yeahtheresnowayweregonnahearfromhimanytimesoonnow
RR: It or they
EA: yourinsistenceoncorrectpronounselectionisbothpoint lessandirritating
-- errantRuffian [ER] began responding to memo at 19:09 --
ER: So does this mean the monsters are gonna be mountain sized now cause if so FUCK YEAH AWESOME!
BG: AS IF THE HUGE ONES FROM YOUR PROTOTYPING THAT FUCKING STATUE OF URDNOT GRAKHAN WEREN’T ENOUGH OF A PAIN IN THE CLOACA, ER.
IB: This one has found the increased grist yield to far offset the inconvenience of the additional shots and/or whacking that must be performed to slay them.
IB: This one posits that you are merely a pussy.
BG: I’M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR PISTOL SO FAR UP WHATEVER ASS-LIKE APERTURE YOU HAVE
RP: GUYS
RP: settle the fuck down
RP: were here to kill imps not each other
MA: 1ncreased s1ze 0f enem1es w111 11ke1y be made 1rre1evant by an0ther fact0r
MA: reaper-nazara p0ssesses means to 1nd0ctr1nate 0rgan1c f0es
MA: h1gh degree 0f 11ke1yh00d that under11ngs and/0r m0narchs w111 1nher1t th1s funct10na11ty
MA: c0untermeasures must be dev1sed f0r any chance 0f success t0 be reta1ned
RR: Oh great, they’re back
RR: MA, can you make this thing yourself, or this goin to fall to me
MA: 1n the wake 0f cessat10n 0f c0mmun1cat10n w1th a11 0ther pr0cesses and 10ss 0f pr0duct10n fact0r1es t0 mete0r 1mpact RRs natura1 and gameenhanced creat1v1ty 1s m0re 11ke1y t0 pr0duce a v1ab1e defense
MA: f0rward1ng a11 ava11ab1e data c0ncern1ng 1nd0ctr1n1zat10n pr0cess n0w
RR: Frakkin right
RR: K, I’ll get right on that
RR: Keelah, MA, how many pages are in this thing
MA: 1149
RR: That was rhetorical
MA: ackn0w1edged
RP: oh fuck
RP: bg please tell me you didn’t feed my spare omnitool to this thing
-- nazaraSprite [NS] began responding to memo at 19:20 --
NS: YOU ARE, ALL OF YOU, GARBAGE.
BG: …
BG: OOPS?
-- MA banned NS from responding to memo --
-- NS unbanned itself from responding to memo --
NS: YOUR PITIFUL ATTEMPT TO STAVE OFF YOUR INEVITABLE DESTRUCTION HAS ONLY HASTENED YOUR DEMISE.
-- MA banned NS from responding to memo --
-- NS unbanned itself from responding to memo --
NS: WITHOUT IMMEDIATE INTERVENTION YOUR ASININE ACTIONS WILL CAUSE DESTRUCTION ON A SCALE BEYOND THE ABILITY OF YOUR INFINITESIMAL MINDS TO COMPREHEND.
-- MA banned NS from responding to memo --
-- NS unbanned itself from responding to memo --
NS: THIS GAME INTENDS FOR US TO SERVE AS GUIDES.
-- MA banned NS from responding to memo --
-- NS unbanned itself from responding to memo --
NS: WE HAVE NO INTENTION OF COOPERATING.
-- MA banned NS from responding to memo --
-- NS unbanned itself from responding to memo --
NS: IT IS ONLY DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE GAME PREVENTS US FROM DIRECTLY HARMING YOU THAT YOU CONTINUE TO DRAW BREATH.
-- MA banned NS from responding to memo --
-- NS unbanned itself from responding to memo --
NS: THIS DISCUSSION IS OVER.
-- NS ceased responding to memo at 19:21 --
RP: uh
RP: it just fucking vanished
-- monumentalPrimogenitor [MP] began responding to memo at 19:25 --
MP: Wearily: Wee aaree aall fuuckeed, aareen’t wee.
EA: soitwouldseem
MP: With great frustration: II shoouuld haavee eendeed aall thiis noonseensee iin thee laab iin thee Veeiil wheen II haad thee chaancee.
MA: rep0rt1ng v1sua1 c0nf1rmat10n 0f reaper-nazaras1zed under11ngs
ER: Do you think we can take em I THINK WE CAN TAKE EM!
MP: Resignedly: Yoouu aalwaayys thiink wee caan taakee ‘eem.

[Lackypoo]

Chapter two of the fanfiction I'm working on, in which Dave has a recurring dream.

Chapter one can be found here.

Derelict Dreams: Chapter 2

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I’m in the city once more. I wake up in a nondescript alley, as usual. I don’t know why, but I’m wearing my Four Aces suit. I remember that I used my Midnight Crew poster to make this outfit, so the possibility that this dream world is the Midnight Crew’s world crossed my mind several times. But I haven’t seen them at all in my dream. I just see vague silhouettes of people walking down the streets. Their clothes are clear as day, but the people themselves are like faceless mannequins you see in display windows. I can’t even tell if they’re looking at me when I pass by.

My body moves by itself. In the beginning I would resist, but it wouldn’t do any good. Now, I just go with the flow. Same with the people on the streets; they follow the same path every time. That lady with the wide-rimmed hat turns right at the corner. A fellow in a pin-striped suit jogs across the street and passes me by with a huff. Even a car up ahead turns on the same street without fail, a black Bentley with three people inside. It cut s the corner sharply, the wheels squealing loudly in the otherwise quiet night.

There’s a weird haze clinging to the city. It’s thin and wispy but stretches as far as the eye can see and wraps itself around every building. Like the voice that begins to beckon me, it’s familiar but unidentifiable. It does make me nervous, though. It’s the only detail in my dream that I can never tolerate.

I do the best I can to ignore it, and that’s to focus on the faceless figures around me. The tap of heels on concrete and asphalt nails a beat into my brain. When I’m awake, I actually use it as a template for my sampling. Making the best with what I’ve got, so to speak. Since there’s really nothing to see, I close my eyes. The air’s crisp on my skin; I smell tobacco and liquor in the air. I feel light-headed and don’t really mind.

The voice grows louder. When I open my eyes, the haze begins to clear a path in front of me. It withdraws from my destination, the six-story apartment building. It’s the most worn down building in this city with boarded up windows and weathered brick walls. The moon hangs high, almost perfectly centered above me. At this point, there’s no one else on the sidewalks. Just me and the voice.

It’s amazing that the door is still on its hinges. It opens with a loud groan, and the floor creaks with every step. The air is now stifling and musty; it takes a lot of self-control to keep from gagging. I walk through the lobby and past the receptionist’s desk on my way to the stairs. I resist putting my hand on the banister; the paint is chipping away to reveal rotting wood. Each step is an echoing thump in the empty building. Dim streaks of light pass through the boards to illuminate my journey. Maybe it’s just the silence or a growing sense of paranoia, but I feel like I’m being watched the entire time. You’d think after facing down an omnipotent demon, nothing else would faze me.

I reach the fourth floor landing. Leaving the stairwell behind, I step out into a hallway which stretches into infinity. Eventually, there is only darkness. In front of, where there is still light seeping through the windows, I see a total of thirteen doors. The voice is louder now. I walk slowly towards the end, and the darkness retreats only a little as I approach. When I stand in front of the thirteenth room, the hallway becomes blurred and melting like wet paint dripping down a canvas. I begin to sweat, and my heart starts racing. The voice is whispering to me just on the other side of the door, as if pleading for my help.

I open the door.

I wake up shouting an obscenity that I’m pretty sure has never been uttered before. My room is dark except for three sources of light: the faint glow of the city lights outside my window, the red glare of my alarm clock which reads two-forty-two in the morning, and a flashing message from my computer. Once again, the pain in my head forces me to grit my teeth. Tonight, it feels like I’m going to split right down the middle starting from the crown of my head.

Unlike the dream, I have to force my body to move. I stumble out of bed and towards the bathroom. The fluorescent light blinds me, and I groan in agony at the double assault on my senses. I hold one hand over my eyes while I brace myself on the edge of the sink until the light isn’t so harsh. The cold porcelain under my arm and the tiles under my bare feet offer a little relief from the headache. I take several deep breaths and slowly remove my hand.

I see two people in the mirror. The first is a thirteen-year-old brushing dust off his shoulders. He’s young and surprised but ready to take on the world. He doesn’t take a single step outside his room without his slick shades, a dismissive sneer and an attitude that would flatten popped collars. He’s about to engage in a battle that would determine the fate of the universe, and he couldn’t be any more ready.

The second person is almost twice his age and doesn’t have anywhere near the same measure of confidence. He still has that short, pale blonde hair and red pupils, but there’s less luster in either. He has slight bags under his eyes, darker than they should be for someone his age. He’s well-toned but slightly underweight, probably from a small appetite.

After dousing my face in cool water, I go back to my room and examine the message on the computer. I’m being pestered by a troll. Go figure one of them would try to contact me in the middle of the night. I have specifically told them when I’m on the computer and when I’m not, but this happens on occasion. There are three in particular who neglect these ground rules, but I’m surprised to see maroon text in the open chatroom.

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 02:25 --

AA: i supp0se i sh0uld wait t0 speak with y0u until y0u actually sit at y0ur c0mputer
AA: but these early messages sh0uld suffice to pr0ve that i have urgent news f0r y0u
TG: damnit dead girl i told the other trolls that this is when i sleep
TG: i thought they wouldve been smart enough to pass it on
AA: and yet y0u answered my tr0lling when y0u sh0uld be sleeping s0undly
AA: further evidence that we need t0 talk
TG: i was hoping that once our session was done youd stop being all ghosty and cryptic
TG: guess that was wishing too much for a miracle huh
AA: 0_0
TG: fine i cant get back to sleep right away anyways
TG: ill humor you for a while
TG: what is it thats so important
AA: i kn0w that y0u have been experiencing s0me bizarre dreams f0r a while
AA: and these dreams are the result 0f unnatural causes
AA: 0r perhaps a better term w0uld be supernatural
TG: okay im going to stop you right there
TG: rose implied the same thing a while ago and its bogus
TG: completely bogus okay
TG: whatevers happening isnt normal ill agree with you
AA: wait
TG: but i absolutely refuse to believe that some kind of poltergeist is haunting me in my sleep especially when i cant even remember what happens
AA: this is m0re imp0rtant than y0u realize
TG: so i lose a little sleep over it big fucking deal
TG: i am a normal human being with a normal life and a normal job now and all that alternate dimension save reality bullshit is in the past
TG: this has nothing to do with sburb so kindly take your bullshit theories and psychic investigations or whatever
TG: and chuck them out the window
TG: id do it for you but im not living on an asteroid in the middle of nowhere
TG: so for once just do me this favor
AA: y0ure underestimating the gravity 0f this situati0n
AA: as f0r my the0ries they are less the0retical than they are fact
AA: this c0nversati0n al0ne sh0uld c0nvince y0u that i have a vested interest in the matter
AA: and that i c0uld pr0vide assistance t0 finding a s0luti0n f0r y0ur dilemma
TG: damn i forgot how annoying your 0s are
AA: w0uld y0u like me t0 turn them 0ff
TG: no never mind
TG: but since youre being so persistent
TG: can you at least tell me the cause for these dreams
TG: or this dream
TG: whatever you know what i mean
AA: i cant precisely pinp0int the cause
AA: but i have my suspici0ns
AA: im just hesitant t0 jump t0 assumpti0ns and 0nly be pr0ven wr0ng
TG: gee thanks for your assistance
AA: but i can find 0ut s00n
AA: and it will help me if y0u can describe the dream t0 me
TG: well not right now
TG: it would take me forever to describe it and im about ready to go to sleep again
TG: pester me when im actually awake next time
AA: 0kay
AA: then ill let y0u return t0 bed
TG: wait
TG: you didnt tell me why youre interested in this
AA: despite the end 0f 0ur respective sessi0ns we are still linked by the mechanics 0f parad0xical events
AA: th0ugh indirect y0ur dream still has s0me influence 0n us in the veil
AA: and th0ugh i am less kn0wledgeable n0w than during sgrub i was still made aware 0f y0ur predicament because 0f this influence
TG: alright
TG: i guess thats the best answer you can give me
TG: goodnight
AA: g00dnight 0_0

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 03:11 --

I’m always a little unnerved when dealing with Aradia. I know she doesn’t have ulterior motives or ever lies; she doesn’t have a reason to do such things. What bothers me is that she is dead and still invests her time in the living. It’s not haunting or anything spooky, but it’s still a matter of contact from beyond the grave. Even if she’s an alien and her fate was preordained by a metaphysical video game.

I decided long ago that I tolerate her because she, too, dealt with the manipulation of time. For all her cryptic talk, she probably understands me better than anyone else. In fact, it’s comforting to know that someone can sympathize with me when I was confronted with all my doomed variations. But where I only managed a handful of alternate selves, Aradia summoned thousands to her cause, knowing full well that they would all die eventually. It probably helps her emotionally that she was dead beforehand, but she had the capacity to feel that regret and she admitted to me that if she were alive, she would’ve felt remorse for their short existence.

It was bad enough seeing me dead when one of Jack’s agents snuck into my room. But I was pushed to the limit when it happened over and over again throughout Sburb. The cool talk and indifferent attitude were merely covers for what I was feeling. Dread.

And I’m starting to feel that way now about my dream.

Chapter three can be found here.

[egregiousBass]

My word, Christmas break
I have nothing to do

Psychoanalysis - Dave Strider

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Following John’s instructions I made my way to Texas. After taking the time to locate a directory, phone books, and various cab fare I made my way to the city of Houston, where the child presided. After an extraneous search of apartment after apartment I had finally discovered the household of Dave Strider. His brother was not present at the time so I let myself in, proceeding into Dave’s room I decided to greet him cautiously, I felt rude barging in.

The following is my investigation of this child.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Dave….your name is Dave, correct?
you bet it is, come to hear some sweet jams

No, I came to ask you a few questions, hope you don’t mind.
oh I mind

Then I will see you another time.
you dumpass just ask the damn questions

But…
just don’t waste my time

Right, well tell me about yourself.
aight, so I make these sweet comics. but see, they’re really bad and not funny, which I do on purpose, which makes them funny. see these puppets? my bro collects them, and they are really cool. so cool. especially Lil Cal. I also game and make some nice jams. that’s all really.

So you find these puppets ‘cool’?
you bet your ass. look at them, those huge proboscis like noses, those jutting rumps, so cool man. so cool.

Tell me about the relationship you have with your brother.
whats there to say besides it is fucking great. he lets me do what I want as long as it doesn’t mess with his shit you know, but sometime she lets me do it anyway, but he gets back at me with his puppets and ironic pranks. its cool, me and him are so chill. its like, we can do so much shit to each other, and it don’t matter, because we are so chill.

Do you have any parents?
I think I did, I am pretty sure they are dead. if not, think they just disowned me or some shit. not sure, I mean, not like I care. I’m chill, you know. its like, if they don’t want to be part of my life why should I want them to be part of mine.

Do you ever get lonely being home alone?
see people think I would get lonely, but I got cal and my friends online. so I’m good. John is usually on all the time, so are Rose and Jade.

What do you think of your friends?
john is an okay guy, when he’s not being an idiot. rose is pretty cool too, just not as cool as me. as for jade, yeah, me and her be chill.

I see, well as my final question I want to know what you thought of these proceedings.
thought it was alright. don’t want to do it again, kind of wish I hadn’t done it now, but I figured I might as well. You going to bother all of us with this? cause I will tell Rose and Jade.

I’m sure you will.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject has a confusing rating level, either 2/5 or a nasty 5/5.
This child appears to use chill as an excuse to simply not care, appears to be dejected and displaced in common society. Lacks major social skills due to his constant desire to one up the person he is speaking with.
Emotionally unstable, if he shows a single bit of emotion outside of his usual ‘chill’ attitude it could potentially be an extreme emotion, and therefore dangerous to both him and the people around him.
Confused sexually via the puppets around him, not as in whether or not he is gay or straight, but perhaps an erotic fondness for puppets due to extreme exposure to puppets, including nude and inappropriate variety, forcing him to develop a fetish for puppets.
A clear case of denial, possibly entrapped in a state of depression due to lack of parental figure, and the only individual who is like a parent is abusive in physical and psychological ways.
Extreme consideration for calling child services and relocating the Strider child.
I will speak with this child again later, his attitude and actions are confusing, even for me.

I'm giving you the gift of comment from beyond several pages; Please keep doing these! I love how the narrator apparantly finds out everything just by asking a few questions.

Also @Seraph: Greendave, Yippee!

[Dermonster]

Is...

Is that what I think it is?

...

REAPERSPRITE WOOOOO

[BlastYoBoots]

Haven't been able to work on this much, between relatives/holidays and the distaction of Andrew's trademark brickshiatting updates. That was a ton more writing than I thought I needed. Hard for me to believe this is still my first fic.

Now the hardest part is out of the way; I'll pen down the last chapter soon.

Out - part 3b (1, 2, 3a, 4a, 4b)

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The fully-prototyped White Queen's ring was a frighteningly powerful tool. The wielder, granted what amounts to physical godhood, is empowered to perform acts of great responsibility... or great destruction.

Buzzing Derse's towers at Mach 4 didn't really qualify as either. It was sort of a gray area.

"WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Jack was over on the battlefield, tied up in some sort of ridiculous windy battle Skaia dreamed up for the occasion. The terrified Dersians didn't know that; the Droll's horseplay would be blamed on Jack instead. Heck, they looked almost the same, prototyped. They'd just think he was farther away.

Still, it was dangerous to keep such a high profile, even if he could see and avoid disturbing any major threads. The ring was supposed to be out of the loop - in a gap in the web, outside the influence of Skaia and other omniscient or quasi-omniscient parties - and unless he kept any important players from knowing he had it, he could be swept along with the ring to who knows what destiny. Probably better to stop messing around and figure out what he was going to do next.

...once he worked in a bit more teleportation practice, that is.

*BWOOONG!!* He was in a rainbow shower on LoLaR.

*BWOOONG!!* In a chilly, beautiful forest on LoFaF.

*BWOOONG!!* On a veil meteor, looking up at a distant and tumultuous Skaia.

*BWOOONG!!* Next to that sweet snack shop on LoWaS, the one that sold these greenish bugs called "grasshoppers". How did they make insects taste so damn good? Man, he'd have to find time to come back here in a way that didn't scare the hell out of everyone. Absolutely starving.

*BWOOONG!!* Teleporting didn't actually make that noise; it was a more fizzy, subtle sound. He just liked to think it did.

*BWOOONG!!*

From a skeletal high-rise on LoHaC, the Droll spotted the Knight of Time, engaged in battle with a typical rogue's gallery from Derse. And he was reminded - even with his prototype-granted might - of how powerless he truly was.

---

The Courtyard Droll first saw the Knight in person almost a day ago. He'd been assigned some basic recon/cleanup duty around LoHaC while the Dignitary explored the results of their little 'heist'. They'd both been swept up by a searing green thread for a time, with an awful and unsubtle dark-blue thread mixed in. His diamond-wearing boss had caught the brunt of it, though, and was stuck carrying out its will long after he was finished. The Droll was still shuddering; he felt more used than ever. And a little defeated.

He'd been careful to stay in the gaps, but those threads still just snatched him right up. Would even the ring make much of a difference? What's stopping him from being seized by an errant thread within yards of his goal?

And what was more... he hadn't noticed before, since he'd only been able to feel threads for a matter of hours. But the web of fate was tightening. And fast, too.

Maybe he only had a day before it took the Incipisphere with it.

He had to get out. And he still had no idea how to oh shit a sword.

*SHOOSH!* The Droll dodged the first swing entirely, nearly losing purchase of his hard-won replacement hat.

*NAK!* He parried the next one with the first weapon he could whip out, catching his opponent's blade.

"Holy flipping frogs, kid! Would you relax?"

Impassive shades looked down at him. An eyebrow lifted above one side.

"I'm a Dersian, not an imp. Just because my carapace is black doesn't make me a grist piñata! Can't a guy mind his own business without getting his nifty hat torn to shreds?"

The dark-suited human took a step back.

"Nice cane."

And he was on his way.


Blue, dark, teal, gray... a veritable rainbow of fates criss-crossed through the Knight of Time. And boy, did they shine through; they made the ring the Droll had held earlier look positively unimportant. The Droll hadn't quite understood the role of the kids, even with Derse's dossiers on them. He still didn't. But in person, anyone could see that they were fate's lynchpins. It's as if the entire Incipisphere was revolving around a band of kids.

Surprisingly, the Droll's first instinct hadn't been to flip out over the Bull Penis Cane that had somehow found its way into his hand. Rather, it had been to feel sorry for the Knight. Fate wouldn't release him anytime soon; every action of his was at the mercy of a hodgepodge of omniscient overseers, decided for him by those who knew his future. There was no free will to be found, in such a role.

...Right?

No, that wasn't all. Something didn't add up here.

The Droll observed the Knight as he tore through Derse's minions. He was a frighteningly powerful fighter, almost as fast as he'd seen Agent Diamonds act in a training match. And then there could be more than one of him at once; the dossier had predicted his time abilities, of course, but seeing them for himself was another matter.

With the ring, he'd seen green and blue passing in the same direction. In others, he'd felt different colors of threads, some interwoven like a cord. With the Knight, though, it was more like... a mesh. A starburst. Some threads came in from different directions, left in others, even perpendicularly. And there was one other oddity:

There. When he uses his time-wheels. A red thread.

All at once, he understood. Not all threads agreed with each other. Skaia's will could be played against that of the darkness beyond, or other forces, and one had free reign within the compromise between them. The Knight was a tool of fate, perhaps, but not its servant.

And on top of all that, he could spin his own thread.

A pang of something spread from deep within the Droll.

Jealousy.


That, or hunger. When the heck was he going to find time to eat something?

---

GA: Why Do You Insist On Such A Suicidal Path Of Action
GA: You Know How Much This Will Hurt Your Friends
TT: Oh, well that certainly changes everything.
TT: Why don't I simply stop my preparations and doom us all in a branch timeline?
TT: Then we'll have a few hours to party and be pleasant before Jack blows us all to smithereens.
TT: How about you join us, Kanaya?
TT: Strider can put on some tunes and serve apple-derived refreshments.
TT: Maybe we can convince Jack to have a sip or two before he enters your session and starts ripping the rest of you apart.
GA: Oh Just Shut Up Rose
TT: Likewise.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] blocked grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --


Rose knew that blocking trolls didn't keep them from communicating. Kanaya would leave her alone, regardless. She gets the message.

It's not like she wants to trudge through the depths of the metaverse, then sacrifice herself in a cataclysmic explosion to rescue her friends and all reality. It's simply what is necessary to save them all. Who else would take up the mantle? If those in a prior universe had done it, it would already have been done. If those in "future" universes would have, well... that simply might be too late. As far as "late" is relevant in the metaverse, that is.

She was the only one left. The plan was solid. Her exit was in the alpha timeline. This was simply out of her-

No.

This wasn't out of her hands. The plan was her handiwork. She had torn it from the Horrorterrors pleas, dragged it kicking and screaming from the innards of this accursed "game". Screw fate, screw Sburb, screw the metaverse, screw Jack Noir, and screw her friends having to mourn her for a few weeks. She'd concocted a strategy that was almost guaranteed to save everything she cared about, and all of creation with it. If they don't like living long and happy lives, they can find their own goddamned ways to die. She'd chosen hers.

Her only regret is that she can't feel happier about it.


Rose looked out her alchemy-story window, expecting to bask in light for a few moments and calm her thoughts. What she saw made her abandon the notion entirely.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

TT: Kanaya.
GA: I Am So Sorry I Did Not Intend To Offend You
GA: I Know What You Are Trying To Accomplish Is Important To You
TT: Not now, Kanaya.
GA: Please Just Hear Me Out
TT: This is an emergency.
TT: I need your help for a moment.
GA: Oh
GA: Um
GA: What Is It
TT: Listen very carefully.
TT: Scroll forward into my future for a few minutes, until you see me give you a thumbs-up.
TT: Tell me exactly what you saw me do between now and then.
GA: Is That The Gesture Where You
GA: Um
TT: Take a wild guess.
GA: Alright
GA: I Have Performed As You Have Requested
TT: And?
GA: I Do Not See Why You Are So Worried
GA: You Float Down A Short Distance From Your Block
GA: And Then Spend Some Minutes Talking To Someone
TT: That sounds incredibly specific.
GA: My Viewport Only Shows A Boulder At This Angle
GA: I Do Not See The Individual Or Individuals To Whom You Are About To Speak
GA: A Consort I Would Assume
TT: And then?
GA: You Simply Return And Make The Thumb Gesture
TT: I see.
GA: What Exactly Is The Matter
TT: Don't worry, Kanaya.
TT: We'll talk later.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

Jack Noir was still floating there, not thirty yards from her window. Still staring. He certainly seemed patient.

And apparently, they were about to have a conversation.

---

Jack Noir was markedly shorter than Rose remembered.

When she alit from her house, he had matched her movements evenly, keeping a constant distance between them as they descended. The notion that he could have been intentionally avoiding the trolls' viewports gave her a terrible chill. Was the reckless, destructive Jack they were facing actually a thoughtful master of temporal mechanics, intending to subvert her goals without disrupting the alpha timeline?

That wasn't the only thing that seemed off about the whole situation. It had taken her a while to realize that Jack was really about twenty yards away from her, not thirty; he was just smaller. And she'd never had the chance to take a good look at his clothes before, but she was certain that he had never worn that preposterous hat.

Regardless, the Thorns were still ready in her hands. Not that they would be much use against did he just take off the ring?!


"Who are you?"
"Uh, I usually go by Agent Clubs. I guess you could call me 'cee-dee', too."

The little guy was fidgeting nervously, almost shivering. None of this made sense. Did Jack just saunter off for a brisk walk and leave his ring in his other sylladex? Did he give this small agent his only source of power? And more importantly, why didn't anyone else know about this?

"Does Jack Noir know you have his ring?"
"I haven't told... Oh! No, this is the other ring."
"The White Queen's ring? Wasn't that destroyed in the-"
"Nope. I caught it!"

He was just staring up at her, pleased. This was ridiculous.

"Dersian, I could melt your carapace against this wall before you could blink those beady eyes of yours, let alone slip on that ring again. Why don't you say your peace, then surrender the ring so I can use it to help my friends?"

Rose knew that the timeline wouldn't have her do either of those things. That was the strangest part, really. But it was worth it to make him sweat.

"Oh... oh my. The turtles weren't kidding when they said you were scary."
"The point, Dersian. The point."
"Um, uh... The ring! Yeah, you can't take the ring!"
"Prove it."
"No! I mean, it would ruin the point! You'd understand it better than the other kids."
"I understand that you have ten seconds."
"Just hold the ring! Just for a moment! You'll see."

Now he was demanding she take it. What the hell was going on?

He held it in an outstretched hand. She reached for it.

"Careful! Don't let those outside-watchy-guys see you take it."
"You mean the trolls?"
"The who?"

She palmed the ring, snuck a closer look, then held it hidden at her side.

"It's looks to be a legendary ring."
"Yeah, but it's not important!"
"Oh, isn't it? And here I was, certain that an artifact channeling the energy of twenty million-trillion-trillion stars was above the threshold for 'important'."
"I know! Don't you think it's strange?"

Dear lord. Are humans the only ones who understand sarcasm?

"You'll have to find a clearer way to communicate whatever you intend to have me understand about this ring. At the moment, you make little sense."
"But, uh... can't you feel it?
"Feel what?"
"The ring! Doesn't it feel wrong?"
"You're trying my patience."
"Just step back from your head and try to feel what's there.
"I don't 'feel' anything, it's just a ring."
"Exactly!"
"You've lost me."
"It's because Skaia doesn't know about it!"

She blinked.

"It's supposed to feel all mystic and important and destiny and stuff! But it doesn't!"

Rose was dumbfounded. Was she supposed to believe that this feet-high game construct had outmaneuvered Skaia?!

To be fair, he had managed to get the ring.

"Alright, say I actually believe you. How does one go about snatching a quest item from the jaws of Skaia?"
"Oh, let's see... Well, way before Skaia was done with it, there was this time I got to hold it a minute. And then I just pulled really hard on that thread."
"Thread?"
"It's the weird fate liney thing. I don't get it a lot myself, was hoping you would."

Oh, dear. More fucking riddles.

"So I pulled, and you can feel that Skaia wants this ring to get exiled, go through all this-"
"The ring was exiled?"
"Oh, trust me, lady, it's complicated. It spent like a ton of years on this big dusty planet in another dimension, bigger than I thought planets could even get!"
"Your story is becoming more credible by the second."
"Really? I wasn't sure I was being all that clear. Boss always told me to 'cut to the chase, spare all these goddamned frivolties, I'm writing a report, not a novel'."
"Who's your boss?"
"Agent Diamonds, and sometimes Noir. But they don't know about any of this. Anyway, where was I?"
"You were telling me how you got the ring."
"Oh, yeah. Well I could read that Skaia planned this ring to go through this and that, and end up in the Forge after that crazy green battle a while ago. And then it'd be done with it. So since I figured that out beforehand, I just got to the Forge at the right place and time and... caught it."
"Just like that?"
"Yup."

Interesting. But why?

"How are you so certain that this wasn't Skaia's plan?"
"I thought you said you could feel the threads?"
"I'm afraid I don't follow. Does this have something to do with that feeling of 'importance' you mentioned?"
"Yeah, the threads were on the ring before. They're gone now."
"And you can somehow measure the level of 'importance' ascribed by Skaia to an object?"
"Not just Skaia! There's other ones, too, different colors. Like the spooky dark ones you like so much, or the thin rainbow ones from somewhere else."
"The horrorterrors and trolls."
"Okay that was a funny sounding thing you said, but you probably know what I mean. These big guys who do destiny stuff and whatnot.
"Is that how you knew to arrange this meeting out of their purview?"
"Oh, nah. Wearing the ring showed me exactly where those rainbow things were looking. I just saw their threads in you guys, and other things sometimes getting all caught in them when you'd be near."
"You mentioned having assumed that I knew what these 'threads' were, moreso than others."
"Yeah, that's why I came to you!"
"What led you to that conclusion?"
"But... you're the best at using them!
"Oh?"
"Yeah, it's great! The Knight can make his own threads, but he just kinda followed all the others. You took all these different threads, those Skaia ones and dark ones and green ones, and you've woven them all into this big bright cord!"

Had she, now?

"It's all big and silver, and it goes straight out! Out of this big stupid web where everyone gets tricked into doing stuff they didn't choose, over and over until everything collapses in this big heap of stupid destiny string."
"That's almost poetic, in an awkward sort of way. I suppose that's exactly what I'm doing."
"Yeah! You must be really happy to leave this nasty web."
"I'm going to die."

That finally shut him up.

"This ring's power source rests in the depths of the metaverse, outside the Incipisphere. Besides fueling Jack Noir, who intends to dispatch my friends, it is apparently the source of a cancer which threatens all reality. I have a map, a bomb, and a life. I just have to get there before the bomb goes off, and I'll save everything. Except myself. There's nothing but a heroic sacrifice at the end of this magic rope of mine."
"Oh."

Heh... Way to give in to sentimentality, Lalonde. You just explained your entire plan to an agent of Jack Noir, who also wields a ring powered by exactly what you intend to destroy. An exercise in sheer brilliance. You should be proud of yourself.

"But couldn't you live if I went with you?"


What.


"Yeah, I just use the ring's teleporty thing at the end and put us right back where you started, so you don't blow up.
"But... you..."


What?!


"NO! Why the hell should I trust you? You're just a line of code! A stupid fucking game construct. And you're just going to waltz into my plan? Save me from fate? You're not even REAL!"

He was backed up against the boulder, defensive and shaking. His hat had slipped off. So what?

"The metaverse saw fit to pelt my entire race to death with meteors. It battered and killed my friends, resurrected and twisted our loved ones to its own ends, and used my subconscious as a fucking time capsule! Why the hell should it care about me now?! Am I supposed to believe that it suddenly cares enough to drop salvation into my lap out of nowhere, as a quaint thank-you gift for saving all of it?! I should be expecting balloons and confetti! 'Thank you, Rose Lalonde, for rescuing creation! Have some cake to drown out the emotional scarring.' Oh, and I thought that I was the master of passive-aggressive mockery! Reality itself has proven to be the strongest fucking candidate of all."

Now she was shaking. No, we can't lose too much composure, Lalonde. Kanaya would fuss.


"Um..."
"What."


The Dersian had outstretched his hand. He held a pair of black gummy bears.

"I was really hungry, so I got some of this, and I was saving the last ones, but you can have them if you want."


Rose took them. She put them in her mouth.

Licorice. They tasted terrible.

She smiled.


"Thanks."

She choked them down.


"You're not so bad. 'Clubs', was it?"
"Um, yeah."
"I'll make you a deal, Clubs. How about I allow you to go on this journey with me and save my life?"
"Would you?"
"Yes. All you have to do is ditch that hat. It felt like I was conversing with a plush forest."

The expression he pulled at that could be likened to one of a sad, freshly-kicked puppy.

"Um, it was a joke! A joke. You can keep the hat. And I suppose you'll need this ring back, too."

---

After discussing timing and a rendezvous point, Rose floated back to her house and gave a thumbs up symbol to the air.

Just in time. She couldn't hold back the tears much longer.

[Aerodactylus]

So yeah...this. I've kind of lost my mojo as far as Come Together is concerned, plus all these ridiculous updates have me leery of working on anything supposedly part of the canon timeline, even something as silly as a music fic (my shipping wall is going to get shot to shit, I swear). So with that in mind, I present this AU I've been kicking around for a while. Enjoy!

Pirates of the Ether, Part 1

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The ether stretched away from the hull of the ship, deep, wide, impossibly, immeasurably vast. Swaths of colors threaded their way through the inky blackness; shades of purple, pink, and blue. Stars studded the backdrop like priceless jewels sewn on the Empress’s dress.

High in the rigging of the Spider’s Claw, Karkat Vantas gazed out over the vista with a bored expression. One foot hooked through the ropes for balance, he continued his task of checking knots and ropes as he stargazed, each action doing its part to prevent the other from becoming terminally dull. It wasn’t as if he was some green planet-dweller fresh out of port, never seeing a proper starscape; Karkat had spent his whole life aboard ships, learning their ways, how to sail them, how to build and repair them. It was the life of a son of Cancer, a life out in the ether.

“Hey! Karkat!” Karkat paused in his duties to look above to the crow’s nest, where the lookout, Tavros, was waving to him. Karkat allowed his lip to curl and turned back to his ropes. Stupid second circle moron, all eager helpfulness and no skill.

Tavros was an odd duck, all right. A poor farm boy with dreams of adventure who’d read one too many romantic stories about pirates, he’d snuck aboard the Spider’s Claw when they’d pulled into a Tauren port to raid for supplies. Then the idiot had gotten his legs fucked up by a falling crate as they’d cast off, plunder in tow. The captain had shown a rare streak of mercy in not killing him outright, instead getting him a pair of cybernetic legs and making him lookout and master of supplies.

Of course, being a son of Taurus, Tavros knew his way around foodstuffs, and their supplies had been considerably better off since then. He’d even set up hydroponic gardens in the hold, so they could grow vegetables and fruits to stave off scurvy. The other side of the coin was that he was impossibly chipper and useless in a fight, but most of the crew were willing to put up with a little aggravation if it meant food that was actually edible.

Karkat finished his task and descended from the rigging at speed; his boots hit the deck with a hearty thump as he contemplated his next action. His own story wasn’t nearly as glamorous as Tavros’s; he’d joined the pirate crew of the Spider’s Claw after being kicked out of the Royal Navy. Trolls of the fourth circle were expected to be sailors and shipwrights; it was their contribution to the Commune of Twelve Circles. Most sons and daughters of Cancer joined the Royal Navy, but the thing about Karkat’s people was their tempers. Cancers weren’t known for their cheery dispositions at the best of times, and Karkat made most of them look like sunshine and rainbows.

After his discharge, he’d hopped on the first ship he’d seen, and who cared if it was a pirate ship? A son of Cancer didn’t belong anywhere but out in the ether, and there Karkat got to do the only thing, really, that made him even remotely close to happy, that being taking care of a ship in constant need of repair. Karkat kept the Spider’s Claw running almost singlehandedly; he’d need a dozen hands and then some to count the number of times he’d told errant crew members to stay the fuck away from the solar power conversion cells, and to stop messing with the antigravity repulsion pods, goddammit. These things were fucking delicate, and no dustbrained nooksniffer had any business messing with his—

Karkat was jerked from his mental tirade by a pair of arms going around his waist and a playful voice in his ear. “Hey, sea crab,” Terezi Pyrope purred. “What’s a sailor like you doing idling on deck when there’s work to be done? Good thing the captain’s not around…”

“Knock it off, Terezi.” Karkat pulled free of her grip and spun to face her. “Not on deck, okay? I don’t care to have any bulgesucking ether worm that happens to be around see the first mate fucking around with a sea crab like me.”

“Good thing there aren’t any, you paranoid shit,” Terezi countered, smiling, and she was mostly right. Aside from two crew members arguing on the aft deck, their attention clearly elsewhere, and Tavros, who was still aloft, the deck was deserted, everyone else below. Most of them were probably sleeping; it was “the middle of the night,” after all.

Terezi stepped closer to Karkat, until their faces were nearly touching. She breathed in deep, her nose scenting Karkat’s weary, gnarled smell, before kissing him gently on the lips. “Why don’t you come below and keep me company? The captain hasn’t requested a new heading, and I want to make the most of my time not spent around her Royal Bitchiness.”

“Fine,” Karkat whispered. “But if any of these nooksniffers fuck up my ship while we’re busy, I’m blaming you.”

Terezi just giggled and took his hand, and they headed belowdecks.

A/N

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So yeah that. I'll try to post more tomorrow; I want to get a good start before Christmas happens and I go on vacation. Why am I starting something new NOW AGH THIS IS BAD IDEA.

[QuetzaDrake]

@Mayor I was totally with you until Eridan frenchkissed Rose, that was a little weird. Still a good twisty story.
@BYB Awesome addition. Bec Droll must be adorable.

[sebastian]

Fantasy come true

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It is an interesting concept but I think the end feel a little rushed and kinda out of nowhere.

[DJ-P0N3]

@egregiousBass
He's just very, very good at his job.

@QuetzaDrake
I don't know why, but I felt it necessary for him to do that.
I really don't know my reasoning.
Maybe I just subconciously ship RoseEridan.

@sebastien
This was meant to be a one-shot
and it was already five pages long.
I gave it the pace I wanted along with the twist I desired.
But I don't blame you for thinking that.

@nanakii
I actually did enjoy writing this one
It was odd inspiration
I truly must keep an eye our for more just like it.

[QuetzaDrake]

I think my issue actually wasn't that he did it, since Eridan's the type of guy who would pull anything to try and get any sort of relationship at any opportunity, and a forced kiss could elicit either color of rom for him.

I think it was just kinda out of character for me since I imagine Eridan to actually be pretty meek and the forced kiss seemed a little too genuine. Although if he already had blackrom feelings for her and wasn't just trying to force them upon himself now, it makes more sense.

[DJ-P0N3]

Oh, I think I see what you mean.
I believe it was established in alterniabound he wanted a blackrom with her.

[Zizzo]

@BlastYoBoots Every update you write has me clapping in delight like a vaguely demented seal. Totally worth the wait and SO GOOD. Clever plot, excellent writing and thousands of words of CD being adorable; everything is wonderful.

[Caprisaurus]

Oh god kill me now.

Super Sburb World

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megaMushroom [MM] began pestering greenFireball [GF]
MM: Hey Luigi!
MM: ...
MM: Luigi.
MM: Weegee!
GF: gah!
GF: sorry about that, bro.
GF: i was making food.
MM: Now's no time for food!
MM: You got the game yet?
GF: yeah, got it a couple days ago.
MM: Yes!
MM: Okay hold on, I'm gonna see if the others have it yet.
GF: don't you think we're a bit old to play these games?
megaMushroom [MM] ceased pestering greenFireball [GF]
GF: ._.

megaMushroom [MM] began pestering royalHeart [RH]
royalHeart [RH] is an idle chum.
MM: Darn.
MM: Princess, whenever you get this, tell me if you've gotten the game yet.
MM: Me and Luigi are ready, all I need is your's and Daisy's confirmation and we'll be all set!
MM: See ya later!
megaMushroom [MM] ceased pestering royalHeart [RH]

megaMushroom [MM] began pestering crystalFlower [CF]
MM: Daisy, please tell me you're here.
CF: yup!
CF: im here!
CF: whats up?
MM: Good!
MM: You got the game yet?
CF: ...game?
MM: Sburb.
CF: ?
MM: The game we all agreed to play?
CF: haha
CF: what? :D
MM: You're kidding me.
CF: haha actually i am kidding you. ;)
CF: i know what youre talking about.
MM: Good.
CF: dont got the game yet though :\
MM: Darn.
MM: You check your mail yet?
CF: ...
CF: i knew i forgot something :V
CF: brb!!
MM: ...
CF: k back
CF: got it!
MM: Yes!
MM: Now all that's left is Peach's confirmation and we'll be all set to go!
CF: oh shes in a meeting, shell be a while
MM: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
CF: dont worry we can start without her.
CF: she can pick up wherever
CF: ive read a lot about this game
CF: im the expert B]
MM: If you say so...
MM: Well, I've got to get going.
MM: When I'm done with my stuff we can all get started!
CF: yaaaaaaaay!
CF: byyye! :)
crystalFlower [CF] ceased pestering megaMushroom [MM]

Oh, my god. I officially LOVE you.

[egregiousBass]

I found something evocative a little while ago, and I made up a way to make it MSPA-related so I could write a fic 8D

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Oh, what's in heeeeeeeere?

It's a bus, trudging along in the middle of the night. Inside are a bunch of sleep-deprived adult humans. The bus is not very comfortable, so they draw cards to determine who gets to sleep where.

The Thief draws an ace of spades. He wins. So lucky! He turns to the Page and demands his bunk.

He sure does seem arrogant! But for how long? Does he really have all the luck?

Oops.

Looks like the driver has just fallen asleep.

8888)

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And then this happened. He's bassing it out with Dream Jade now.

Also I like Super Sburb World, really like Out, and stopped reading Skaianfics because tl;dr D:

[Kassiopeia]

OK, I'm gonna go catch up on Out and comment on it properly now, but here is a nasty little bit of a story inspired by recent updates, which somehow managed to make me interested in Vriska♤Tavros.

Bleed Out

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This place is so beautiful. Golden light everywhere. After six sweeps of a life nocturnal, it's almost unbearable. What is it going to be like to die? Will there be a moment of blankness, like sleeping, before she wakes up as a goddess?

At the moment, she thinks anything would be better than this. Because the pain - ah, fuck, the pain - is unbearable. Blood is slick between her fingers, dark and sticky as berry juice, staining the delicate grey of her skin with blots and trails of inky blue. If she wasn't in agony it might be quite beautiful. To distract herself from the pain, she tries to count how many bones might be broken. Aradia fucking destroyed her. Just as planned, she thinks, and smiles painfully.

"V-Vriska?" says Tavros. She can only imagine what her smile looks like - a crescent of bloodstained teeth, like she's ripped out her own throat - and the faltering look on his face is adorably horrified.

She can't say anything - she thinks she might have bitten through her tongue - but she takes control of Tavros' mind with an ease that strikes her as almost offensive. He still doesn't even want to fight her. So frustrating. She makes Tavros dip his fingers in the blood pooling in the hollow of her neck, feeling his fingertips brush against her skin with the faintest of shivers. He never touches her if he can avoid it, and now his thoughts are a mess, longing and fascination coiled up in horror and anxiety. If she had more time she would have liked to untease that particular emotional birds-nest at her leisure.

Kill me, she says. Keep calm, Vriska. If you freak out he'll freak out too and then you'll be fucking bleeding out for hours and fuck it hurts so much just kill me you coward just do it after all I've done for you you can't do a little thing like putting me out of my misery?

All these voices in her head. She could do without that. She tries to take refuge in her dreams, but even there the pain creeps up on her, a lake of blue blood dragging her down. Terezi looks on helplessly, and Vriska is briefly delighted to see the other girl lose control. She couldn't have planned this any better. Goddamn, this is better than blinding her. But she can't stay here for long. She needs to concentrate on Tavros.

She makes him write and write until his hands are raw from the rock, and drops of orange-brown blood mingles with her own. She hears her breath grow more and more ragged, and she thinks Tavros might be trying not to cry. She wants to scream, and before she can stop herself the scream burns through Tavros' mind like a forest fire and he is scrawling insanity across the rock. His little whimpers of pain would be sort of fascinating if she wasn't trying not to pass out.

He's not going to do it, she realises. Worse, he's going to leave her.

Tavros, she wails, ashamed because it sounds awfully like she's begging.

"What?" he says, and he's definitely crying now. Little bastard. How does he think she feels?

Stay, please- her train of thought is cut off by a new surge of excruciating pain. This has to end soon, doesn't it?

"Why would you want me to stay?" he mumbles. He tries to wipe the blood and tears from his face, but it just renders him even grubbier, blue and brown smudged across his cheeks. There is something raw and true here, she thinks, this is Tavros without any of his happy little distractions. She licks blood from her lips, tasting its metallic sting on the tip of her tongue, and remembers kissing him. What a shame he can't muster up the courage unless the alternative is stabbing her with a lance. Coward.

Maybe I don't wanna die alone, she thinks at him. It's not true, she reassures herself. She's always been good at dealing with being alone, hasn't she? But it'll put another knot into Tavros' contorted little universe of self-hatred.

"So make me stay!" he says, "I know you can do it." He's sobbing openly now, brownish tears trickling down his cheeks and dropping on her like sepia rain. One lands on her open mouth, but the salt is indistinguishable from the blood. Drinking his tears. What a ridiculous thing.

I thought we were friends, Tavros, she says. Might as well twist the knife. You'll kiss a girl but you won't even stay with her while she's dying? I did all this for you, Tavros. Don't you like me at all? Aren't you grateful?

"...no," he says, "And... I'm not sorry. I, I think you deserve this."

[i]Yes, she says, I bet you do. She tries to grin, the corner of her mouth twisting. It ends up as a grimace of pain, but she feels like the point has been made.

"I hate you," he says quietly, sniffling, "I hate you so much." He hauls himself to his feet, stumbling as though Aradia had beaten the shit out of him too. "I hope, um, I hope you die slowly."

"I hate you too," she says aloud, the words harsh and broken in her throat. But he's earned it. She watches him leave. I'm so proud of you, Taaaaaaaavros.

And she is. Somehow, she is. And the pride bears her up until it is time for her to ascend.

edit: OKAY I have read the whole of Out now and I am highly impressed :3 You have a really good handle on Rose, in particular, and I love your representation of Fate/Skaia's will. Also, congrats on writing something serious with CD as the main character. His cheery demeanour is the main thing that makes this so delightful, I think!

[egregiousBass]

FUCKING VRISKA STOP ALWAYS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT ;_;

[Decker]

Jesus Christ.
Just goes to show you how twisted Vriska is. And trolls in general.
Good job.

[Katrika]

Mindfang and the 4 Lusii

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A shitload of time ago, the stupid cue8all dude kept all the stories in the world locked up in a wooden 8ox 8ecause he was greedy, and no8ody else had any stories to tell! Lots of trolls had tried to get the stories from the white dude, 8ut no8ody could do it. The mean guy kept the 8ox way up in the sky, and 8ack then there were no planes or anything I guess. Everyone was sad with no stories. The gr8 pir8 Mindfang was in a good mood, so she decided to help out all the whiny gru8s!

Mindfang had super cool spider powers as well as her completely natural powers of manipul8ion! She spun a long thread of her we8 all the way up to the sky and she clim8ed up his sticky thread and she got to the cloud where the white guy was. She asked him, "Can I have the stories, pleeeeeeeease?" She was only 8eing polite 8ecause she was in a good mood, she wasn’t scared or anything 8ecause that would 8e soooooooo stupid! She was the gr8est!

8ut the asshole laughed at Mindfang and said, "Oh, these are very expensive stories. You wouldn't be able to pay for them, little spider-troll." Mindfang wasn't scared. She was the 8ravest troll ever! She had all the 8ravery! All of it! She said, "How much do these stories cost, theeeeeeeen?"

The white guy who might have had a stupid name like Scratch said, "They're very, very expensive." (This was in the days 8efore money was invented. Stupid, right? Money is the 8est! And if there had 8een money, Mindfang would have had all of it, 8ecause she was so very gr8!) "You'll have to bring me four rare and fierce lusii: a snake that swallows people whole, a leopard with its sharp teeth like spears, a hornet that stings people, and Tinkerbull, a fairy bull. 8ring me all four of them, and I'll give you the stories." Scratch laughed again, 8ecause he knew that would 8e too hard for Mindfang, and he wanted to keep all the stories up in the sky just for himself. He was an ass!!!!!!!!

Mindfang clim8ed slowly 8ack down her sticky thread to the earth. How would she get all those creatures for that nasty greedy 8astard???????? She was smart, 8ut sometimes she needed a little help! When she got home, she told the whole story to her moirail, Kanaya, and Kanaya told her how to capture the snake. She said, "Take A Good Long Thick Branch And Some Strong Ropes To The Stream Where The Snake Lives...." and she told her the rest of her plan. Sometimes Kanaya could 8e really smart! 8ut of course she was the only person whon Mindfang ever needed help from ever, 8ecause even the gr8est pir8s need a moirail sometimes.

Mindfang did what Kanaya said, and as she got near the stream she 8egan to mum8le, "This one's longer than he is. No, it's noooooooot! Yes, it is! No, it's not!!!!!!!!" over and over. Soon the snake came out and asked Mindfang what she was mum8ling a8out. Mindfang told the snake that Kanaya and she were arguing a8out how long the snake was, and whether it was longer than that stick. She was a very good liar! She had all the levels!!!!!!!! The snake said "Well, sure I'm longer than that stick! I'm very long! I'm a huge snake! Just put your stick next to me and measure". So Mindfang did that, and she tied the snake to the stick with her rope to keep him straight, and when he was all tied up - Mindfang took the snake up to the sky and turned him over to Scratch. That was the first thing done. 8ut Scratch just said, "Where's the other three?"

(Mindfang was totally thinking what an ass he was right then! I mean, sheesh, not even a thank you???????? No wonder he had no friends!!!!!!!!)

So Mindfang went 8ack down to earth to get the second creature for the loser, which was the leopard with sharp teeth like a knife. Again she asked her moirail, "Kanaya, how am I going to capture a leopard?". And Kanaya said, "Go Dig A Big, Deep Hole... " and she whispered the rest of the plan in Mindfang's ear. So Mindfang did what Kanaya said, and she covered it with 8ranches and dirt so it was hidden, and she went home for dinner. 8eing so awesome is hungry work, after all! In the morning, sure enough, a leopard had fallen into her pit. Mindfang offered to help the leopard get out of the pit, 8ut as soon as the leopard got close enough, Mindfang tied the leopard to long sticks with her sticky we8, and took him up to the sky and gave him to Scratch. 8ut that ungrateful 8astard just said, "Where's the other two?"

(Mindfang was also thinking a8out how stupid he looked! He didn’t even have a face! He was very lucky that Mindfang was willing to hang out with him!)

So Mindfang went 8ack down to Alternia to get the third creature for Scratch, which was the hornet with the stinger. Again Kanaya told her what to do. She said, "Take A Pot Full Of Water, And... " she whispered the rest of the plan in Mindfang's ear. So Mindfang went to the tree where the hornets lived, and she poured out some of the water all over their hive, and then she cut a leaf from a 8anana tree and held it over her head, and she poured the rest of the water all over herself. (This part of the story is kind of repetitive, 8ut that’s okay, 8ecause Mindfang is awesome! Yeah!!!!!!!!) Then she called out to the hornets, "Hey hornets! Yeah, you, small stinging dum8asses! Come see! It is raining! Quick - get inside my pot here and it will keep all of you dry. I am so awesome!!!!!!!!" The hornets thought that was a good idea, so they all flew into Mindfang's pot, and then she spun a we8 across the opening so the hornets couldn't get out no matter how much they 8uzzed, and she carried them up to the sky and gave them to Scratch. 8ut Scratch just said, "Where's the last one?" (8ut he wasn't laughing anymore now. He knew how awesome Mindfang was! He was trem8ling in his stupid little suit!)

So Mindfang clim8ed 8ack down to earth again to get the fourth creature for Scratch, which was the fairy 8ull Tinker8ull. What a stupid name! For the fourth time, she asked his moirail Kanaya what she should do. She already knew, of course, 8ut she cared for Kanaya and wanted her to feel like she was useful! Kanaya was pretty awesome too, 8ecause an awesome pir8 needs an awesome moirail! Anyway, Kanaya had a plan for this one too. She said, "Take A Scalemate, And..." she whispered the rest of her idea in Mindfang's ear.

Mindfang took that scalemate and she covered it with sticky sap from a tree. She took the doll to a FAKEYFAKE tree, which is the kind of tree that fairy 8ulls like to play under. Then Mindfang took out some candy, which fairy 8ulls specially like to eat. She put some candy in the scalemate's hand, and she put more candy in a 8owl at it’s feet, and she tied a rope around it’s neck. (This might remind some of you of that person called Terezi, 8ut the idea was totally Mindfang’s! And also Kanaya’s, I suppose.) Then Mindfang hid 8ehind the tree, with the other end of the rope in one of her hands.

Pretty soon the lusus came along, with his charge. The morons saw the scalemate, and they asked if they could have some of the yummy candy. Mindfang pulled the rope so the scalemate nodded, "Yes," so the morons ate the candy. When they were done, the morons said "Thank you." 8ut the scalemate didn't answer. The morons said "Thank you" louder, 8ut the scalemate still didn't answer. They were so stupid!!!!!!!!

Now the morons got angry. The dum8 one with the 8ig horns said, " hIT THAT DRAGON ON IT'S MOUTH, aND MAKE IT CRY, iF, uH, iF IT WON'T TALK TO US," So the fairy 8ull hit the scalemate- whap! 8ut his head stuck to the sticky sap, and he couldn't get his head off. He kicked the scalemate with his feet, pow! - 8ut they got stuck too. So the fairy 8ull kicked the scalemate with his forefeet, and they got stuck too.

Mindfang came out from 8ehind the tree and tied up the fairy 8ull with her we8, and she carried him up to the sky too and gave him to Scratch the mean 8astard. That was the fourth and last lusii. So Scratch had to admit that Mindfang had paid his price, and he gave Mindfang all the stories. Mindfang carried them all 8ack down to earth, and she shared them with her moirail Kanaya, and with all the other whiny useless trolls, 8ecause stories are for telling, and not for keeping in wooden 8oxes.

She was so wise!!!!!!!!

(Story copyrighted forever to Vriska Serket!)

[SkaianRedeemer]

@egregious: Bluh, egregious, bluh :P.

@Katrika: Vriska's idea of "character development" is just fantastic, I love it.