MSPA Fanfiction III

[Graven_Image]

Agent of Time

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"Agent."

It's a nice euphemism, you suppose.

Rewind, twenty seconds.

You traipse through the undergrowth of the planet, searching for the temple your consorts just would not shut up about.

You hack away at the vines covering the stone facade, trying to uncover a map at least. Maybe it's the way in.

No dice. Just more illegible markings.

As you pass an intersection in the tightly-packed trees, Time gives you a swift kick in between the mental lobes.

No, go that way.

Yes, even though it has no relevance whatsoever.

That way.

"Agent."

More like "Slave."

---

She shakes her head.

As the darkness overtakes you, you hear her speak. You always were a disappointment, Agent. You're not even worth my machines.

Rewind, ten hours.

You're running covert insertion on Prospit, investigating the rumours of an Archagent plotting one or more of your murders.

You pass near her as she bustles through the crowd to her office. This is your chance. You can end whatever schemes she has right now.

Then time slaps your brain upside the cortex and says just what do you think you're doing.

You let her go on.

Days later, when her plans reveal themselves on their own, you silently curse Time for everything it puts you through.

Time remains silent.

---

This wouldn't have happened if you had gone through with it, the Prince says.

If you had just done as I told you, she would have lived.

Rewind, six weeks.

You stand at the altar.

Your leader has mandated that anyone who reaches the top of the ladder must go through the ritual to ascend to the God-Tiers. But you're having second thoughts.

Time, however, is perfectly capable of making up its mind.

You're going to lay down on that stone bed and you're going to wait for death.

No "but"s.

You rest on top of the rock and close your eyes.

By the time you wake up on Prospit, you've already ascended. Never a better time to have a heart attack, you suppose.

---

He's you, from the future.

You tell him that's utter crap and he knows it. So let's cut to the quick and just take off the disguise.

He says that he's definitely not an enemy, and you should definitely hear him out.

You just shoot him.

In the months to come, you will make a giant mistake as well as a time-traveling device.

You will become that person.

But you don't know that yet.

Rewind, twelve seconds.

He's you, from the future.

You start to draw your gun and call bull on him, but Time nudges you into suspension of disbelief.

Listen to him, it says. This is important.

You will never become that person. And he will soon die of his own accord.

But you don't know that yet.

---

I'm glad to be with you here, she says. Here at the end of all things.

The two of you embrace as the flames overtake you.

It's not much. But it's all you have left.

Rewind, four years.

I don't get you, she says. Sometimes I think we'd all be better off if you stopped being so cryptic and gave us an actual answer for once.

Or failing that, maybe you could just drop dead.

You try to apologize to her.

Time says, not so fast bucko. You have nothing to prove to her. You're more significant in this adventure than she is, by a long sight. You have important Agenty things you have to do that no one else does.

You tell her so. It comes out as more cryptic bullcrap.

She leaves in disgust.

It's alright, Time says. She wasn't the right one for you.

---

Seventy years into the new universe. Your unique abilities have arrested your aging, and you preside as the last of the 36 over this new civilization. You oversee the creation of legends, the inscription of the stories.

As you pore over the tales told by your loyal child species, your only companion is Time.

Time hovers over your shoulder, more tangible every year you spend with it.

It grips your shoulder in a sympathetic embrace.

I'm sorry, it says.

I've used you up. I burnt you out, trying to follow my own rules.

And now, you say, you're going to leave me here to rot.

No, it says.

Let's try that again.

Rewind, seventy years.

The Black King hovers in front of you. She stands to your side, looking at you uncertainly.

Go for it, Time says. I won't stop you.

You grasp her hand.

We'll make it, you say. I swear.

She nods.

Together, you face the monster.

Agent of Time.

It's a nice euphemism.

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The Agent's fraymotif is Guitar Sounds.

[Wigmund]

HO HO HO

SANTA CAL DEVOURS YOUR ESOPHAGUS FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Oh look, someone inspired my next fanart.

Thank you spacetime...

[crash826]

If I May Be So Kind, Part 2

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It was… really awkward, to say the least.
Karkat briefly contemplated using an overextended metaphor about rainbow drinkers and the Troll Star Wars series to say exactly how awkward it was, but decided against it, seeing how badly the last one had turned out. Instead he picked at his dinner (prepared offhandedly by Gamzee while he shook his fist at an ICP poster) and looked at Kanaya. Kanaya looked back, and occasionally took bites of her own. He sat and sipped from his glass, and looked around. Nepeta was sitting on a beam and hurling things at Equius.
“Nepeta, get down from that beam right now.”
“:33< Make me!”
“Nepeta get down right now.”
“XDD< No way!”
And with that, she leapt from the bar, did five somersaults, and landed five-point perfect before running off into the sunset. At least, that was the plan, and it would have worked if there hadn’t been an unforeseen romantic dinner for two in the way.
WHAM.
“GODDAMNIT NEPETA.”
Nepeta rushed off into the sunset, impeded by the weight of a tablecloth, a candelabra, a couple of plates, and the chainsaw Kanaya had left on the table, followed by a ‘roid raging mutant-blood, an overwhelmed conciliatory bicycle girl, and the STRONGEST troll alive.
Nepeta leapt off the railing near a set of stairs, clambered awkwardly onto a higher platform, and stood. This was where she would make her final stand, along with her only friends, a pile of dishes full of food.
“Nepeta”
“:33< You’ll never catch me!”
“No Its Just That. Uh. You Have Our Romantic Dinner Caught All Over You.”
Nepeta suddenly realized that she had just ruined a possible romantic relation and her shipping senses screamed with the approximate force of a tidal wave. She hurtled over to the other side of the gap… and paused, in midair, as she realized that she was approximately a foot or so from making it across. And fell.
“OH SHIT NEPETA”
"!!! Even Though I Have No Idea How That Is Pronounced!"
And Kanaya hopped the railing after her. And everything moved slowly, almost, in Equius’s eyes…
Kanaya floated toward Nepeta. Karkat’s eyes widened. Equius rushed, too late…
And a chain formed, Kanaya holding Nepeta’s ankles, Karkat holding Kanaya’s and averting his eyes as hard as he could.
“I WOULD KIND OF LIKE TO PULL EVERYONE UP BEFORE THIS GETS ANY MORE SPECTACULARLY AWKWARD”
“Agreed”
“:33< agreed.”
After they’d pulled each other up and Nepeta had received a STRONG chiding from Equius, they’d left. Even Equius had a little tact.
“SO.”
“Yes?”
“THAT WAS. UH. ACTUALLY KIND OF BRAVE AND JUNK.”
“Yes?”
“AND I AM IMPRESSED. SORT OF.”
Kanaya smiled, and it was the first time Karkat had ever seen her smile.
“Thank You.”
It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.

...I don't even ship this :V

[Metaflare]

Her color is close to olive, if you dont have the hex code

[Katrika]

...Crash that is so cute and amazing. And I don't even ship that.

[raequiem]

Hey Crash this ship does not compute in my brain at all but I like your writing style so much that I love it anyway.

Write more/longer/etc. stuff.

(that goes for the rest of the thread too GO GO GO)

[Katrika]

I-I can't write more Anansi stuff until I get that book of Anansi stories from the library!

Stop looking at me with your avatar like that Rae!

IT IS UNFAIR!

-cowers from the puppy dog eyes-

[arcaneCalligramancer]

Hey Crash this ship does not compute in my brain at all but I like your writing style so much that I love it anyway.

Write more/longer/etc. stuff.

(that goes for the rest of the thread too GO GO GO)

i've seriously been working on something for like a month and a half, and i'm still only about 1500 words into it

i suck

[Katrika]

You don't suck! Writer's block is hard!

[DJ-P0N3]

Writers block happens to all of us!
Its hard to find inspiration to write.

[Katrika]

It's hard and no one understands.

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[Decker]

I do.
Mostly for my own projects though.
Fuuuuuuck.

[Dermonster]

OH HEY EVERYONE!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

HERE ARE SOME NIGHTMARES.

ENJOY.

Eleven(Pause[Matchsticks])

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I like fire.

The warm embers always manage to cheer me up.

Some things burn better than others though.

But the flames never last long enough.



You wait, gun pinned to the door. Your comrades surround you. The central mainframe for the Uno gang behind.

You got a tip earlier that the Felt was gonna try to take it down. Whoever they were, they were right. They had already brushed past three blockades like wet tissues.

This is your last stand.

You tense with anticipation. The vault door starts to turn.

It opens, and you yell to fire while pressing the trigger.

Except you don't. You can't move.

A man walks inside. All green. Red striped hat.

11

He carries a bag over his shoulder, and a match in his hand. Where he walks, a light shines.

He walks past your field of vision, and you still cant move.

The light is bright.

A minute passes.

You see a member of your gang to the left. He still has his back against a barricade. He can see what you can't.

His eyes show fear.

Time resumes for a fraction of a second, then pauses again.

The light is different. Bigger. Redder.

Hotter.

But you don't notice. Your comrade has his mouth open.

His scream is frozen. It plays through your eardrums at a pace unrecognizable by time.

It consumes your mind. It is a shriek of panic.

A wail of fear.

'What is he scared of?' You think, horrified.

It drags through the air, and you are dragged with it.

You will yourself to turn away, stop looking forward.

Time resumes and pauses again.

You can see.

The man walks past again, grinning. He still has a match.

There is a covered object on top of the mainframe.

A tiny piece of rope hangs out.

There is light on the tip.

Time resumes.



I have always loved fire.

It's just a shame the best fuel never lasts for long.

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Matchsticks power: His matches pause time, (It doesn't affect peoples minds) but he ignites the air around him from moving at a technically infinite speed in zero time. Basically whatever he touches that isn't in the "Okay" zone with him gets set on fire when he touches it.

The okay zone is basically whatever he DOESN'T want to set on fire.

Also Matchsticks is a pyromaniac.

No it's probably not the best thing, but I like it.

[raequiem]

Writer's block can kiss my well-toned ass.

And on that note, here's some more Christmasfic!

Christmas Cookies - Fudge

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Rose was frozen in place, leaning against the kitchen door.

That smell.

That smell.

No - it couldn't be -

It was.

"M-Mother?" Curse her shaking voice. "W-what are you doing?"

Dr. Lalonde was turned away, at the stove. "Making fudge, darling. Didn't you smell it?"

Fudge. Rose's knees wobbled at the word. She swallowed. "I wasn't sure." She forced herself to stand up straight, lock her hands behind her back, be nonchalant. Made her way to her mother's side.

Oh god, it was even worse up close. The smell hung heavy in the air, strong enough to taste. And to see it - silk-smooth liquid chocolate swirling around in the pot. Hot and dark and thick and perfect.

Her mother's fudge. Rose's one true weakness.

Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

"Could you make sure that pan is ready for this, dear?" Oh, of course she was impervious to its effects.

Rose barely spared a glance at the counter, knowing what she'd find. A heart-shaped baking pan, painstakingly lined with aluminum foil in sharp creases. Mother was in top form this year.

"It's ready, Mother."

"Good, because the fudge is almost done." The thrice-cursed chocolate-making bitch of a woman deftly scraped the sides of the pan, so the fudge formed a single warm blob in the center. "I do hope you'll enjoy this as much as always. I notice you haven't been eating much lately."

Of course. Here it was. "I am hardly anorexic, Mother, and-"

"Stand back, please." With a single smooth motion the pot was off the stove and the most luxurious liquid brown was poured into the pan. The smell hit Rose full in the face again, and she barely suppressed a whimper.

"Would you like to lick the spoon?"

There was nothing Rose could possibly want more in all of paradox space. She cleared her throat. "No, I-"

The spoon, still covered in warm chocolate, was shoved in her mouth. "Mmmph."

A perfect motherly kiss was dropped on top of her head. "Merry Christmas, Rose darling." And with that her mother was gone, heels clicking down the hall. She'd won this round.

Somehow, sucking molten chocolate off the spoon, Rose didn't mind one bit.

A/N

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Shorter chapter (ish? Do these little vignettes even count as chapters?) but I think it works well for its length. Again, guardians have a slightly different shade of their kid's color. At least we won't have to worry about that for Jade and Dave! Ahaha... heh... *crickets*

I'll have mouthwatering pics of my family's fudge in the morning, as it is still setting. But it is life-changing. Seriously. And super-simple: chocolate chips + sweetened condensed milk + butter (+ maybe vanilla or peppermint) = OH MY FUDGEY GOD.

Dave and Jade's recipes are happening tomorrow, as we somehow used all the sugar in the house. I have no idea how *whistles nonchalantly and looks away from the five dozen cookies spread out to cool*

EDIT: I think my Christmasfics are destined to always be ninja'd by something at the complete opposite end of the emotion spectrum. Nice pyromaniac!Matchsticks, Derm!

[Aerodactylus]

@Derm: That's pretty awesome, I love the evil-superpower vibe.

@Crash: You are making me ship this, even if you don't. It is so cute. SO CUTE.

@Katrika: I haven't said this yet, so YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER. Anansi is a much-underused folklore character, so these fics of yours make me squee heartily.

EDIT: Ho shit, 75th post. I feel accomplished. Also HUNGRY. DAMN YOU RAE, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS HOLIDAY CONFECTIONERY ASSAULT.

[Dermonster]

@rae/Aero Thanks! WOuld you believe I was listening to This as I was typing? This thing has been on auto-repeat as soon as I heard it in sync with John: Rise up.

Also GOD DAMNIT now I want fudge! Rae why must you do these things to me!?

[raequiem]

WOuld you believe I was listening to This as I was typing? This thing has been on auto-repeat as soon as I heard it in sync with John: Rise up.

Oh gog dat song. I am in love with it.

Also I torture you with graphic descriptions of fudge because you enjoy it. You sick fucks.

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Guess who's having fudge for breakfast tomorrow... *brick'd*

[Decker]

I just remembered I have like half a pound of fudge in the fridge. Back in a bit.

[Metaflare]

WOuld you believe I was listening to This as I was typing? This thing has been on auto-repeat as soon as I heard it in sync with John: Rise up.

Oh gog dat song. I am in love with it.

Also I torture you with graphic descriptions of fudge because you enjoy it. You sick fucks.

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Guess who's having fudge for breakfast tomorrow... *brick'd*

My name is Metaflare
You tempted me with fudge
Prepare to die

[DJ-P0N3]

The fact that I am watching The Princess Bride makes that post a million times funnier Meta.

[Metaflare]

The fact that I am watching The Princess Bride makes that post a million times funnier Meta.

Why do you think I said it
I JUST finished watching it
I think we're watching the same channel

[Wigmund]

The fact that I am watching The Princess Bride makes that post a million times funnier Meta.

Speaking of Princess Bride, I'm horribly tempted to do a complete fanfic version of the movie with Karkat reading the story to little Kade because she's sick and he's substituted in various trolls and kids in as the in-story characters

[Decker]

I'd read it.

[Metaflare]

Do it do it do it do it

[DJ-P0N3]

Oh jegus.
I can't wait to see where this goes.