MSPA Fanfiction III

[Kassiopeia]

Thanks everyone You all rock. I would never have finished the thing without all your encouragement.

@Graven Yeah. There are places I would have liked to add more and expand the narrative, but in both cases I felt like actually it detracted from the structure.

Mainly, I wanted Rose and Kanaya to talk more - however, I had an aesthetic objection to putting too many huge chunks of pesterlog in this story (breaks up the alternating POV I was going for), and I didn't want the plot to degenerate into a huge shippy mess - I like Rose/Kanaya too much to restrain myself, but it was crucial for psychological consistency that Rose doesn't have any other relationships to save her from herself, as it were.

I was also considering putting in an Epilogue - and I may yet write this, actually - where Rose and John bond over the fact that they both have to deal with horrorterror tanglebuddies time whenever they sleep. But I thought that seemed too kind and hopeful for this installment

[geeP]

The only thing about this (and it's pretty minor) is that NFaDT seemed like it could have gone on a lot longer than it did.

C'est la vie, I suppose.

Nah. Less is more.

Good show, Kass.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Kassiopeia: I think I might have expected another chapter before this one if you hadn't said when it was going to end, but a lot of Rose's decisions are made sharply throughout the fic, so the ending coming abruptly (with buildup in hand, of course) meant that it still read well. Besides, if there's anyone that doesn't know how to gauge the size of a story, it's me.

[BlastYoBoots]

I'd keep the title the same, or at least still imply the doomed timeline with it somehow. It gave everything a hopeless overtone, said that there would be no redemption in this story, right from the start; that really had an impact from my point of view.

[c_rowles]

Kass, awesome ending. The final scene with Rose and Jack was chilling and I could feel the tension building underneath all the slow-paced movement and dialogue, like when the violins start up quietly in the background of a horror film and then get louder and louder. Whew. I was afraid the ending was going to feel abrupt, but it's now easily my favorite scene in the whole fic.

I hope you'll write more in the future! Including that Epilogue; it sounds like it could be a light-hearted finish to this dark story. ...Err, however light-hearted horrorterrors can be, that is.

[Ember]

Brr. So creepy.

Good work, Kass. I'm glad you got it done.

ETA: I agree wholeheartedly with Boots about the title.

[lucidSeraph]

@Kass - YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS though I did wonder why Jack didn't use powers to escape. But for the sake of the narrative, it works better this way. Delicious.

[Quixotic]

I am going to chime in with some of the others and say that the title alluding to it being a doomed timeline was kind of cool, so keeping that aspect in the title would be nice. It did a good job of foreshadowing what was to come.

[Kassiopeia]

daaaaa thanks guys (I am planning to keep the doomed element as a subtitle sort of thing maybe?? The whole thing is now up on my livejournal if you ever want the whole thing in one convenient location. I'm going to get on to posting it at AO3 once I've done a final edit.)

ALSO @Seraph you may well ask! He took the ring off at the beginning of the scene, and Rose nicked it, so he was back to just being an (admittedly ultraviolent) ordinary Dersite. Also, IMHO he didn't really want to go on by that point, so even if he had noticed her taking it, he probably wouldn't have done anything about it. HAPPY TIMES.

[lucidSeraph]

daaaaa thanks guys (I am planning to keep the doomed element as a subtitle sort of thing maybe?? The whole thing is now up on my livejournal if you ever want the whole thing in one convenient location. I'm going to get on to posting it at AO3 once I've done a final edit.)

ALSO @Seraph you may well ask! He took the ring off at the beginning of the scene, and Rose nicked it, so he was back to just being an (admittedly ultraviolent) ordinary Dersite. Also, IMHO he didn't really want to go on by that point, so even if he had noticed her taking it, he probably wouldn't have done anything about it. HAPPY TIMES.

DERP! The more you know. I was reading it a bit fast, I admit.

[KilroyWasHere]

Kass Kass Kass. It seemed to end really quickly up until I read it again and realized Rose was basically on edge the whole time. Both of them. Poor Jack.

[BlastYoBoots]

Yeah, keeping it as a subtitle would do it.

I haven't been reading these fics for very long, but yours is by far one of the best I can remember reading. After your art, Kass, that kind of writing too was a genuine surprise out of nowhere.

Edit: yeah, I loved how Jack knew how terrible what he did was (and how she'd retaliate when she learned), but gave that suicidal "war is hell" line anyway just because his pride + guilt wouldn't let him do otherwise.

[raequiem]

So remember when Graven said this?

Yes, I desperately want someone to draw that last scene. Please.

And I said this?

(Also, Graven? I'll take that artistic challenge *hauls out tablet*)

Well then I did this.

[Kassiopeia]

@Kilroy I worry that the ending was a bit abrupt! I might smooth it over a bit in the edit. We shall seeee. Also thanks!
@BlastYoBoots cheers That's a really nice thing to hear. (and yeeeeah, I am perpetually torn between art and writing. To the point where I had to decide between art college and an English degree. Still have not really come down one way or the other yet!)
@everyone aaa I am sorry to be babbling all the time. I will write you some fluffy and brightly-coloured romfic with no death next in compensation. Possibly. (I only really ship couples that involve Vriska or Terezi. So. Uh. We'll see how that goes.)

[Douhneill]

everyone aaa I am sorry to be babbling all the time. I will write you some fluffy and brightly-coloured romfic with no death next in compensation. Possibly. (I only really ship couples that involve Vriska or Terezi. So. Uh. We'll see how that goes.)

Spadefics! We don't have enough of those.

[Ember]

You said you had to suppress the Kanaya/Rose fluff urge while writing this, didn't you? Now is the time to let it all out.

[Kassiopeia]

You said you had to suppress the Kanaya/Rose fluff urge while writing this, didn't you? Now is the time to let it all out.

Oh god don't tempt me I probably will do this yes

[ceruleanTresses]

You know what would be hilarious? Rose Kanaya! THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH SNARKY HORSECRAP.

[Metaflare]

You said you had to suppress the Kanaya/Rose fluff urge while writing this, didn't you? Now is the time to let it all out.

Oh god don't tempt me I probably will do this yes

doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit

[BlastYoBoots]

I'd like to see some fic responses to all the shit Vriska's pulling recently. Reactions, repercussions, further mistakes, people dying, blackrom (mmm, Terezi spades), what have you. I mean in general, not just Kass or something; I'm green to the fics written here, but it seems like a neglected subject.

[lucidSeraph]

I'd like to see some fic responses to all the shit Vriska's pulling recently. Reactions, repercussions, further mistakes, people dying, blackrom (mmm, Terezi spades), what have you. I mean in general, not just Kass or something; I'm green to fics here, but it seems like a neglected subject.

Guh I am knee-deep right now in a Dawgsprite fic (with Jade Dave as well) but

well, okay. i held off on the DIE VRISKA DIE because I always feel it's a bit stupid to go about murderfying characters over and over even if you hate them, because I hate it when people do that to characters I like.

...

Still. I really dislike Vris :\ Idk maybe I'll try *something* but probably not.

[geeP]

I'd like to see some fic responses to all the shit Vriska's pulling recently. Reactions, repercussions, further mistakes, people dying, blackrom (mmm, Terezi spades), what have you. I mean in general, not just Kass or something; I'm green to the fics written here, but it seems like a neglected subject.

That's because SevenTwelve already did a comic that elegantly resolves the situation in a thorough, satisfying manner. There's pretty much nothing left to say.

[Kassiopeia]

skjjksjsdfghj I LOVE THAT COMIC WITH THE FORCE OF A BURNING SUN

but yeah - I'm holding off personally because I want to know more about Vriska's motivations, etc, before passing judgement. Although. Whoever mentioned Terezi spades should know that they have SORELY TESTED MY WILL.

P.S. (Warning: THIS IS STUPID.)

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Hi my name is Marquise Spinneret Mindfang and I have long ebony black hair and sparkling golden eyes like shiny treasure. I'm a pirate but I don't have a dumb eyepatch I have this fucking awesome vision eightfold because obviously that is better. Anyway today I was wearing a long grey coat and a black t-shirt just like always because fashion is dumb. I go to a pirate school where we're all like pirates and shit. It's on a boat or something. Basically today I was just hanging out in the rigging and planning how to get all the l8vels. A lot of weakling trolls stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them.

"Hey Spinneret," shouted a voice. I looked up. It was....... Eridan Ampora!

[BlastYoBoots]

Yeah, I remember that comic. That was awesome.

However, we know from Vriska's first conversation with Scratch that she will eventually cause (or has already set in motion) nigh-unfathomable destruction, and that he bets she won't live to see the silver lining. (I'd paste the quote here, but I am on my phone.) So we know she'll make things worse (probably getting friends killed), and that she'll probably either die, redeem herself, or both.

I've yet to find a fic that extrapolates.

[ceruleanTresses]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Hi my name is Marquise Spinneret Mindfang and I have long ebony black hair and sparkling golden eyes like shiny treasure. I'm a pirate but I don't have a dumb eyepatch I have this fucking awesome vision eightfold because obviously that is better. Anyway today I was wearing a long grey coat and a black t-shirt just like always because fashion is dumb. I go to a pirate school where we're all like pirates and shit. It's on a boat or something. Basically today I was just hanging out in the rigging and planning how to get all the l8vels. A lot of weakling trolls stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them.

"Hey Spinneret," shouted a voice. I looked up. It was....... Eridan Ampora!

BAHAHAHA, that is excellent. Pirate school, oh gog.