MSPA Fanfiction III

[Kawa]

If anybody is the smooth motherarfer, it's the omniBroterrier.

[Kassiopeia]

@saartha you are the star. its you. That was great. And actually, I love your characterisation of John. I can imagine him being quite a solemn kid at times.
@Valter HAH. YES.
@Seraph DUDE NO if anything the update makes this even better. You were totally right about Jade never seeing snow before o: (also, SNEAKY DAVE/JADE CREEPING UP ON ME LIKE A SLY MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT THERE. you and Lexxy have actually succeeded in making me like this pairing. Amazing. Favourite line: "Wearing half your killer's face?" because aaaa that is such an interesting parallel to draw and basically you rock.

[Wigmund]

@Wigmund: You know, for someone we never saw in snow until just recently, Jade really does go well with it. We've had fics before and after her new planet and it just works! I like this one a lot because I can sympathize with the travel anxiety. Get all antsy just thinking about it.

I pulled the 'never seen snow' thing out of my ass to be honest. I figured she had traveled with Grandpa Harley in-canon, so she would have seen snow at some point in her life. But I went with the 'no snow' because it went well with the wonder in 'First Snow'

[Decker]

I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but anyway...

A slightly more sympathetic look at Vriska.

Scorpion's Shell

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Footsteps echoed on the stone floors as she walked through the hallway, towards the shadows in front of her. She stopped right before she would have stepped out of the light.
“I don't want to do this anymore.” She said quietly to the darkness.
Slow breathing started, and long scraping sounds started in the darkness. Eight red eyes stared back from the abyss.
This was part of the deal.
“They were my friends...” Blood, all different colors, started dripping from her sleeves, running down her arms and dripping off her fingers.
They were your victims. That's all they are. All they're good for.
“Why can't you just eat normal food?”
I have to teach you. Teach you things that trolls should know. The most important thing is to look out for yourself. That is also part of the deal.
“They were my friends.” She said again. “I won't do it anymore.” She had to make some kind of stand.
The eyes in the darkness closed.
Then I will feed myself.
Two pointed legs shot out from the darkness. They punched right through her and pinned her to the ground. She screamed as she was dragged away into the darkness.

*

The screaming turned into a buzzing as Vriska finally woke up. The groaned and smacked the top of the alarm clock until it finally shut off. She swung out of bed and put her glasses on as she looked out the window. Far, far down, at the bottom of the pit that seperated her from her neighbor, she looked at her Lusus. It's massive legs were curled underneath her bulbous body. Vriska half expected it to look up at her, but it just continued to stare off in the distance. Was that hungry beast really talking to her, or was this all just in her head?
She didn't know what would be worse. But she did know that a troll that just hit her fifth solar sweep should not have to deal with this crap. Dreams weren't supposed to be that painful, were they?
She blinked as she heard her computer beep.

AG: Whaaaaaaaat?
UA: are you awake now
AG: No, I'm sleep typing. Wh8 kind of question is that?

Vriska remembered this one, another troll she had met while walking through the nearby metropolis. They had talked for a little while and hit it off.

UA: sorry I was just thinking about what you told me yesterday about your neat house
AG: You can come over if you want to see 8. :::
AG: I have a really ne8 Lusus. She's really 8ig too!
UA: whoa will she'll be okay with me being over there

Vriska chewed on her bottom lip. The dreams were coming more often.

AG: I think she'll 8e happy to see you!

*

She was staring into the darkness again.
“It's not like they don't have any warning. They have to hear things, and they want to be friends with me anyway. They're just stupid.”
Yes. It's not your fault at all.
She thought about it more and more. And it was easier and easier to believe. And as she thought, she didn't notice her arms being covered in a metal sheen.
“I mean, it's not like anyone that dumb is going to be missed.”
Yes. We're making the race stronger.
She looked down at her hands. “What's this?”
Call it armor. It protects you.
“From what?”
Feelings that will weaken you.
She lifted her hand to get a better look, and she thought to herself how much stronger it made her. In her mind she rolled the thoughts in her head over and over. She was strong. They were weak. If they couldn't protect themselves from her, well it was their own damn fault. They knew what she was. She practically advertised it. As she thought these things, the armor became darker and more defined.

And she realized that she couldn't see the blood anymore.

*

AG: Tavros!
AG: TAAAAAAAAVROS!
AT: oH, UH, SORRY. I WAS PLAYING WITH TINKERBULL.
AG: That stup8 doll game thing I bet.
AG: Luckily you won't have to play that game anymore!
AG: Did you get 8? Did you?
AT: yEAH, i PICKED IT UP YESTERDAY.
AG: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!
AG: It's going to 8e so much fun!
AT: uH, i DON'T KNOW. i MEAN aRADIA KEEPS TELLING ME TO BE CAREFUL AROUND YOU.
AG: Don't listen to her! Do wh8 you want to do! Only losers don't think for themselves. You're not a loser, are you?
AT: i DON'T KNOW, i MEAN YOU DID SAY THAT STUFF YESTERDAY.
AG: No! Tell yourself th8 you're not a loser! Say 8!
AT: i'M NOT A LOSER!
AG: Good! Now start loading the game up.
AG: I have some ne8 challenges s8 up for you!

*

As she stared into the darkness, she remembered that being the day that everything fell apart. She lashed out at people and they were scarred...or dead. They lashed out at her, and she was maimed for her trouble.
But it wasn't really her fault. Was it? I mean...
Her armor was broken. Half of her face and her arm was shattered, exposing bare skin underneath.
The blood was dripping again, and now hers was mixed in with the other colors.

It really wasn't her fault. It couldn't be...but...
“I won't do it anymore.”

[Katrika]

Oh god, Fatherhood...

[BlastYoBoots]

But a much larger part of it is, people just write what they feel like writing. There's no real rhyme or reason to it, inspiration just happens or it doesn't. It's cool that you see potential here, and requests are definitely appreciated, but it's starting to feel like you're arguing with people about what they want to write, and at the point it's better to either write it yourself or sit down quietly having said your piece.

Yeah, I just didn't like the "but we don't hate Vriska" line. I'd fill this void myself, but I have none of the skills. None of them.

Also here's Graven with a probably awesome fic filled with white text that doesn't show when I highlight it on my phone's browser and I won't get home for hours gog damn oh well.

Oh, and kickass Dawgsprite fic. "Arfing" is the best euphemism.

Edit: Awesome Vriska fic, decker, I loved the armor metaphor.

[raequiem]

Oh man, Dawgsprite is the best. Bec censoring Bro is so perfect, and Dave/Jade! *squees*

[Kassiopeia]

@Decker really enjoyed your take on Vriska and Spidermom. Nice and dark, and the pesterlog with the unfortunate UA was rather chilling. Your rendition of Vris's typing quirk seemed slightly off, though - does she use 8 for "it"?? Other than that, solid.

[KilroyWasHere]

That was MAGNIFICENT and don't you lie.

And I was ninjad by Dave/Jade and Vriska. SO CUTE.

Not the second one. THAT ONE IS SAD.

[Decker]

@Decker really enjoyed your take on Vriska and Spidermom. Nice and dark, and the pesterlog with the unfortunate UA was rather chilling. Your rendition of Vris's typing quirk seemed slightly off, though - does she use 8 for "it"?? Other than that, solid.

Yeah. I know the quirk is off. Hers is ambiguous, and to be fair I didn't feel like spending much time on that.

[flutterShy]

I'm procrastinating.

Be Still, My Beating Heart

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Dave meant beloved. That was the thought that flashed through Jade Harley's head as she ran through the Land of Frost And Frogs, her tennis shoe clad feet crunching on the frosty snow on the ground. Her black hair flared out behind her in the wind caused by the place, the neon green and blue auroras flashing through ita, creating a gorgeous pattern that fell on the snow, creating a colorful picture of the young woman. She skidded to a stop, the snow behind her flying up then falling down into a small drift. She dropped to her knees, one small, delicate hand scooping up a thing of snow, dotted by red.

"No." Jade whispered. "No. Please. No." She kept running, then, her feet barely touching the ground as she ran up the last tundra towards the place known as Echidna's Palace, skidding to a stop once again as she stares at the puple-colored gates, each bearing a Statue staring at each other. That wasn't what caught her attention, though - what caught her attention, though, was a piece of black fabric fluttering in the sharp gate catch. "Oh god." Jade whispered again. She pushed through the gate and kept on, not running now, but with delicate, graceful steps that made no sound on the frost-bitten snow.

The first thing that stopped her was the nauseating smell of blood that echoed around her. While she was used to mummifications, she never smelled anything before it happened; Grandfather Harley had been kind to her like that. One hand, the back of it pressed against her mouth, helps keep her steady - until she sees the first patch of blonde hair. "Dave... Dave, oh god, no..." She sobs. She looks across the battlefield; now she understood what John and the Trolls were saying when 'A Alternate Timeline Self is Always Doomed'. She was seeing it in perfect realization - but not acceptance.

"No." Jade stated, shaking as her rifle appeared in her hands. "No. Damn it. NO. I'm the Witch of Space! SPACE! I'm supposed to keep my space safe, safe for all of us, for Rose, for John, for you-- oh Dave..." She reaches down and touches his blonde head of hair, which was slowly staining with red - the red of blood, the red of time, the red of life itself - and Jade starts weeping, quietly, shaking as she stands up, glaring across the way, where the slither of scales across the frost-bitten snow can be heard.

Jade carefully adjusts the tie on Dave's suit, closing her eyes, trying not to cry, trying to keep her emerald gaze steady, hard - as a precious stone can be. There's a warning hiss from the monster behind her. JAde turns, hauling her rifle with her, to look her Denizen in the eye. "I HATE YOU." Jade screams.

The normally calm, but enthuastic one cocks the Hunting Rifle, biting down on her bottom lip as she quickly runs back towards the gates. Another slithering set of scales on snow, and Jade scales the gates nimbly, feeling the power inside of her as her grip steadies. and she takes aim on Echidna's head, the Mother of All Monsters moving slickly, smoothly, twisting this way and that, to dodge all of the bullets that Jade shoots at her. Jade checks her amount of alchemized bullets, and swears softly - she's running slow.

"Jade, RUN!" A voice screams behind her. Jade turns, startled. Dave Strider is running towards the gates, decked out in his casual outfit, the blood-red sleeves on his shirt making Jade have flashbacks. "Dave, but I thought ---" He interrupts her. "I'm the Knight of Time, aren't I? How would I d-- JADE!" Dave Strider finally screams for the first time in his life, as a quill from Echidna's back goes right through Jade's stomach. She looks down, startled, then looks back up at Dave, who stares at her in horror.

Instantly, the Record Time Tables are out, and his fingers are setting the time to return sooner, to stop, to save her - except there's a heavy grinding noise. A Scratch, if you will - as they stop - then disappear. Echidna hisses again, even as Jade's Hunting Rifle falls to Dave's feet - and then Broken Caledfwlch is in his hands and he's attacking Jade's Denizen, knowing that she's supposed to be the one to kill it, knowing that Typheus and Cetus are already dead, and he had only just taken down Hephaestus, and thatif they don't, then everything will stop - and no one will win -

- battle flashes in front of his red eyes, battle of the kind that Echidna is the Mother of All, and that she has Hephaestus' strength, and Cetus' agility, and Typheus' skills, and that together, she is all and they are none - and that Broken Caledfwlch is stained purple and red and pink and blue and why is it red, that's him, that's his blood, that's his life, he has to get back to Jade - and he drags himself, back to where she lies crumpled in the snow - hearing the hissing, biting, scratchy scales, hearing her come, and knowing that it is his last chance -

- and it stops momentarily as he reaches behind him and throws Caledfwlch at her, which cycles through to being completely forged, and it takes her in the headcase, and the snake like monstress pauses and squeals, and it hurts - Jade moans - Dave cries out - there is silence - he drops to his knees - Jade rolls over, ripping the quill from her body - they crawl to one another, their blood staining the snow beneath him as she cries and curls up in his arms - and he staggers to his feet, and he's cradling her, and her black hair is stained with blood, and his white shirt is stained with it -

- and they go together, and when they get close to the monsters writhing body, he puts her down, and there's a cry of pain from her, her body weak, black hair shining as she falls onto her knees - Dave closes his red eyes, unable to accept - she leans forward, and stabs the quill from Echidna's own back into her body - and he shudders - Jade gives an exultant cry - and there's three thuds - one one - two two - three three - and Jade says, softly, "Dave...?"

"Jade..." He opens his eyes then, and she's collapsed on the ground, where he's on his knees - there's tons of grist around, they did it, they won - he tests the Time Record Tables and there's still that horrible, cosmic, hurting scratch, and he knows he can't save either one of them - and she reaches out one pale, skinny arm to him, and he pulls her into his arms, his blood-stained lips pressing against her head, and they are rocking each other, back and forth, back and forth - and she reaches up one bloody hand, and presses it against his cheek -

"My cool kid." She whispers to him, and that finally gets a smile from him, and then her eyes are closing, the color of jade - and he suddenly remembers that Jade means a precious stone - and she couldn't be even more precious to him than she is right now, vulnerable, hurt, but still Jade, and her hand drops from his face - and there's nothing, her chest doesn't move, and the blood is stopping, but there's nothing there anymore, there's no more Jade, and the echoes of her last words fall through his ears -

- and he presses his forehead to hers, crying, and he whispers, "No... please... I need you." The frost claims her body, and soon claims his, as they fall asleep in the timeless expanse of death that makes him hurt - but there Jade is, and there he is, and all they have time in the world together, now - but they are alone, and it's lonely, and Dave can see every day that being without Rose and John is hurting her even more.

He doesn't know what to do, but there are deals, then there are Deals, and there is a Deal, and there was a deal Made - and Dave reaches towards Jades as they float in the quiet Oblivion - and he presses a hand to her cheek. "I love you." He murmurs softly. She blinks at him, eyes wide. "I love you too..." She whispers - then Dave is fading away, and he's gone now, and Jade finds herself screaming and then there's a flash of light and she's in the Land of Light and Rain --

And Rose is there, explaining that Dave gave it all up for Jade to come back, and suddenly she realizes --

-- that without him, there's no point in living, and she cries.

She cries for the Knight that saved the Princess, and for the Princess that had it all, and was just lonely, and she regrets the fact that her emotions made him do it.

Somewhere in time, Dave Strider smiles as Jade Harley looks up into the sky and blows a kiss.

Notes:

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This is totally a Jade/Dave fic!Ship. Except it doesn't end well. I don't even know. I'm sorry.

[egregiousBass]

How that paragraph isn't fic-inspiring, I have no idea.

I actually am thinking of writing a fic from the Doc's perspective that deals with all of the timelines that have been catastrofucked in the eventual creation of the alpha timeline (provided the one we see in Homestuck even is the alpha), but god, I'm too tired for all the weird time shit.

[lucidSeraph]

If anybody is the smooth motherarfer, it's the omniBroterrier.

Naw man I think Dave manages to surpass the master in smoothness. ... though I think I should draw Bro in a tux sometime :|a

@Seraph DUDE NO if anything the update makes this even better. You were totally right about Jade never seeing snow before o: (also, SNEAKY DAVE/JADE CREEPING UP ON ME LIKE A SLY MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT THERE. you and Lexxy have actually succeeded in making me like this pairing. Amazing. Favourite line: "Wearing half your killer's face?" because aaaa that is such an interesting parallel to draw and basically you rock.

Hahaha Hussie and Lexxy snuck it up on me too. I didn't ship it before either and now these UPDATES man these UPDATES. That said... as I re-read, you're probably right. I did figure, Dave's from Texas and Jade is "From Guam or whatever" so yeah, neither would know snow.

I'm surprised nobody ELSE has drawn that particular parallel myself. :\a

Oh man, Dawgsprite is the best. Bec censoring Bro is so perfect, and Dave/Jade! *squees*

Oh, and kickass Dawgsprite fic. "Arfing" is the best euphemism.

Bec being a censor to spare poor innocent Jade's ears was my friend Ethan's idea (he roleplays Dave sometimes, and he helped me fix some character issues); I came up with the euphemisms. The motherarfing euphemisms, ladies.


@SpyPoet oh goddamnit ninja'd by sadfic that was heartbreaking

[Kassiopeia]

@SpyPoet aaaaa god ;_; this is so beautiful.
but everyone just
just stop it with the sadfic
I know I am in every way a hypocrite saying this, but I am not sure my heart can take much more of this ;_;

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j/k it's fantastic and I enjoy being emotionally tormented, so.

[Author]

Well, let's go.

Faded

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She cackles over her opponent, grinning maniacally. She was undefeated, unstoppable. She was glorious, marvelous, and the only one left. Nobody could possibly compare. Her grin grew wider as she witnessed her new enemy attempt to crawl away, fleeing the oblivion she was creating.
I'll say one last thing.
She laughed, roared with laughter at their useless jesters. She tossed a single die at the crawling one.

Eight - Slicing Blades
Her grin grew as he was ripped to shreds by the die, which withdrew to her hand. She glanced coldly at the next enemy, who was gripping onto her pants leg.

"V-vriska... Vriska... please..."

Though the magnitude of the ensuing destruction
She tossed another die at the enemy on her leg, smirking as it cracked the glasses the enemy wore.

Twelve - Iradescent Blast

The enemy was eviscerated, completely destroyed.

resulting directly from your actions

She gazed at the carnage, laughing. Mocking them. No hope left for these, these wretches.

will be neither possible or necessary for you to fathom,

Strangely, in the midst of it...
She giggled. She had no reason to, no need to, but she did.

there nevertheless ought to be a silver lining.

A single enemy remained. He stood tall above the rest, and seemed to be at ease. His eyes angered her. He did not look at her with fear, but instead with pity. As if she was out of her mind, out of her wits.

The only question is whether you will live long enough to see it.

She grabbed a weapon from one of the fallen, and charged at him with a roar.

I'm not a gambling man.

He held up a sword that didn't belong to him, that he had never used, and she charged into it. He held her in his arms as her breathing calmed, as it slowed.

"John?"
"Yeah Vriska?"
"...is.... is it over?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Good."

She smiled. She had done it, completed her task.

But if I was, I wouldn't bet on it.

"Bye... John."

Her eyes closed, never to open again.

Goodbye.

Yeah, I just didn't like the "but we don't hate Vriska" line.

I phrased that badly. It's pretty much that we don't feel sure enough to write anything about her destruction, due to the lack of knowledge on it. Merely what Doc Scratch says isn't enough for us to be assured that we're right.

Thanks for the prompt though.

EDIT: Well crap. Now I have a prompt for anybody:

Remember that line from Ender's Game? No, not that one.

"Why are you upside down?" Yes that one. Write something about.

SpyPoet: That was pretty freaking awesome. Admittedly I don't like the pairing, but it was WONDERFUL.

[flutterShy]

@lucidSeraph
@Kassiopeia

G-geeze, damn, thanks you guys. I was just like really depressed this morning and it came through with my writing.

Whoops, Author ninja-edited me into his post.

Thanks!

[Bufu]

lucidSeraph, that fic. eeeeeeeee ;v; that is my eloquent and mature reaction. plus, man Dawgsprite is arfing hilarious and I love him.

I can't stop writing this AU argh
it's like. becoming a thing. like a somewhat coherent and consistant story or something. That is just not something I usually do.

man I really want to know what some of the more obscurely titled troll's powers were. And Gamzee's full title. And I want more gamzee in general. So then this happened.

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The first time Gamzee sang, nobody could say a word. It had became obvious to them early on that their titles weren't merely dramatic affectations, but nobody had expected anything beyond terrible slam poetry and foul language from their bard.

It had been after a long, hard boss battle. Three hours, fourteen minutes long according to Aradia. Karkat was screaming at them that it had been too close, Vriska and Nepeta were hopping from one foot to the other with impatience to move forward and Aradia had already vanished forward in time but the others were on their knees, or sprawled on the floor, chests heaving.

Gamzee had been trying to find a Faygo to toast their victory with, and accidentally ejected a 15-string musical device onto the floor with a twang. Recovering something from so long ago seemed miraculous enough to warrant a song. He couldn't really remember how to play, if he'd ever learnt at all, so he only managed to pluck a slow, sweeping rhythm that reminded him of home. It was enough. He sang the first thing he could think of, an ancient Alternian ballad his lusus had taught him sweeps ago.

Kanaya closed her eyes and let a small smile slip onto her face as she listened, Equius began sweating and shaking, muttering something about Gamzee finally doing something befitting his caste, and Feferi had sat down on the floor, her arms around her knees, swaying in time to the rhythm. Even Karkat's scowl eased, if only by a little.

They just looked so damn happy Gamzee didn't put his instrument back into his modus, as much fun as it was, instead putting into his strife spectibus for easy access. It was completely goddamn useless against the enemies, but he wasn't a fighter anyway. His echeladder wasn't very tall, even when perched at the very highest rung he could only strain his neck to look up at his fellow players.

Six hundred hours was a very long time. Their campaign seemed to stretch on endlessly, the game throwing new challenges at every turn, and there were moments of seemingly insurmountable despair. Tensions were raised to the point where no amount of ashen interference could stop relations running black, and every little strife and fear was amplified by a million.

All the same, Gamzee fulfilled his duties as a bard as best he could. Even when they were faced with the bleak fate of the Veil, even when victory had been snatched away from them, he would sing and try to recapture any happiness for them he still could.

Karkat still said that hope was a shitty excuse for a power. Gamzee just thought it was a motherfucking miracle.

I don't think a fandom has ever made me write quite so much

[Nakkirz]

EDIT: Well crap. Now I have a prompt for anybody:

Remember that line from Ender's Game? No, not that one.

"Why are you upside down?" Yes that one. Write something about.

SpyPoet: That was pretty freaking awesome. Admittedly I don't like the pairing, but it was WONDERFUL.

Oh my gosh.
Ender's Game aaaaaaa
I may have to write something about this. What it is, I have no idea. But I THINK I HAVE TO.

[Katrika]

Well, I guess it's time to do another parody song.

Bufu: That was really good! =O

[QuetzaDrake]

@lucidSeraph Hahaha, that was an awesome fic. Loved that Brodawg forcing Dave to kiss Jade and his censored barking.

Also, of course Jade didn't prototype Grandpa, Dave, his stuffed body is in space near Earth and also he's already still alive in the Medium! Duuuuuh.

[Author]

EDIT: Well crap. Now I have a prompt for anybody:

Remember that line from Ender's Game? No, not that one.

"Why are you upside down?" Yes that one. Write something about.

SpyPoet: That was pretty freaking awesome. Admittedly I don't like the pairing, but it was WONDERFUL.

Oh my gosh.
Ender's Game aaaaaaa
I may have to write something about this. What it is, I have no idea. But I THINK I HAVE TO.

CG: WHY ARE YOU UPSIDE DOWN YOU FUCKING IDIOT?
CG: THE OLD GRAVITY IS GONE. FUCKING ERASED.
CG: SO WHY THE FUCK
CG: ARE YOU STILL UPSIDE DOWN?

[lucidSeraph]

@lucidSeraph Hahaha, that was an awesome fic. Loved that Brodawg forcing Dave to kiss Jade and his censored barking.

Also, of course Jade didn't prototype Grandpa, Dave, his stuffed body is in space near Earth and also he's already still alive in the Medium! Duuuuuh.

Pfft.

I think it is actually more likely that it's Grandpa just because the Penpal has the same text color as the sprite, and it... sounds more like Gramps. Though I still entertain the theory that the Bec side of the sprite might influence Dawgsprite's brain enough that he says things like "ADVENTURES ARE AWESOME" and whatnot.

*edit* but that's not going to stop me from writing Dawgsprite, just like Dave being blond isn't going to stop me from assuming that he's ginger. GINGER PRIDE.

[Bufu]

Biggest twist in homestuck won't be that bro is jade's penpal, but that bro is this big cheerful dweeb who loves adventure

Dave has just been desperately kidding himself all these years

[lucidSeraph]

Biggest twist in homestuck won't be that bro is jade's penpal, but that bro is this big cheerful dweeb who loves adventure

Dave has just been desperately kidding himself all these years

... someone please draw this.

*e* if someone doesn't I will tomorrow 8|

[Kawa]

So here is me again with a continuating of that untitled fic with the CG♥GC♥GG triang relationship. Still no name, so I still can't archive it.

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"So, what's this 'problem' about, and how am I supposed to help?"

Karkat didn't usually find himself considering his choice of words very often. It was unsettling to him, to have to ask Jade Harley this kind of thing. In his mind, he involuntarily flashed back to when he told Dave and John not to mess with the troll ladies. Fast forward to when he told off his past self for being rude to Jade. And right now, he finally realized how his past self at the time must've felt. Yeah. He could clearly remember thinking his future self was being a hypocrite and a pervert for being flushed towards one of the humans... and he was thinking the exact same thing about his present self right now. The fact that Terezi left those exact words on his PDA only made him more painfully aware of it all.

"Karkat?"

"WHAT!?"

"You're blushing. Is your problem something about romance?"

"I SUPPO-- I mean, I suppose you could say that, yeah."

"Isn't that kinda your thing in the first place? With all those bad movies..."

"FUCK YOU THOSE MOVIES ARE GREA-- I mean, shit Jade!"

Between yesterday's dinner and this morning, the little bitch somehow pressed all of his buttons. All of them! But he was getting sidetracked hard.

"Yes, knowing all kinds of stuff about romance -is- usually my 'thing'. But this is a fuckin' special case."

Jade smirked.

"A special case, huh? You mentioned John, Rose, and Kanaya?"

"Yeah..."

"Karkat Vantas, am I reading this right? Is this why you were suddenly being all protective back then?"

"Ahm...."

"Are you falling for me or something?"

"Yeah", Karkat drew out. "Terezi seemed okay with it, judgin' from the message she left me..."

"Oh, what'd she write?"

Jade was acting all interested, and Karkat couldn't tell if it was about the triangle relationship he hoped to set up, or Terezi's message. He shrugged and pulled out his PDA. It still had the notes application in the foreground, showing that same message:

K4RK4T V4NT4S, YOU'R3 4 HYPOCR1T3 4ND 4 P3RV3RT. 4ND 1 LOV3 YOU FOR TH4T >:]

Next thing Karkat knew, Jade was hopping around and clapping her hands in full-blown, balls-out retard mode. It sort of reminded him of his other suitor, Nepeta. She'd have a field day at the shipping wall when this business would be finished and Karkat's quadrants all shot to hell.

"What the fuck are you acting so happy about?"

"ooooh I made a bet with Dave that you'd do what you told him not to do and I WON!"

Karkat could only raise one of his impressive eyebrows at that statement. In response, Jade pulled a cheap pair of sunglasses from her Sylladex, put them on and made her best poker face.

"oh come on even that douchenozzle wouldnt be enough of an ass to pull that kind of bullshit", she imitated. "he knows to leave that kind of ass backwards irony to the pros".

Jade then decided to leave the imitations to a minimum. Grinning was one of the more frightening things she had ever seen Karkat do. To her surprise, he promptly collapsed, revealing his matesprit behind him.

"Gee, I didn't know Karkat could grin like that", Terezi said. Her usual shit-eating expression was indeed similar to what Karkat sported moments earlier. "Still, leave that kinda thing to the experts, Karkles. Lest they overshoot their leg drubbings and break 'em by accident, H3H3H3H."

Terezi adjusted her glasses and sat down on top of the candy apple-blooded heap.

"So hey, I guess Karkles wants me to share?"

"You didn't -really- break them, did you?" Jade dodged.

"H3H3H, ofcourse not! Noone could possibly beat me in a drub-off", Terezi joked back.

"Is that what you call him? 'Karkles'?"

"Heeey, it's better than what Thollucks calls him, y'know?"

"I don't, actually."

"Pff. 'Kay-kay'. But let's not dodge the issue here, Harrrley."

"Well... I don't know. If it's okay with you, he's free to try and woo me first. I'm not gonna go against his own badly-drawn shipping grid without a fight!"

"Well said, sister!"

"Anyway, I'd rather get to know both of you a little better before we go any further."

"An excellent idea, though I'm sure we two can be the bestest buddies? Regular buddies, that is, and then maybe later we can both be... what did the coolkid call it? Maybe later we can both be Karkles' bucket buddies~"

"Is that troll for 'tangle buddies'?"

"Yesss" Terezi happily confirmed. She pulled Jade closer until both were sitting on Karkat.

"Gaaah, not both of yooouuu~"

"Why not, Karkles? Don't you like the attention?"

"When did he even wake up again?"

"YOU'RE FUCKIN' HEAVY!!"

"Whaaa-? Karkat Vantas, how -dare- you imply either of us is fat", Terezi responded, pretending to be insulted. Jade would've done the same if Terezi didn't beat her to it.

"I din'! It's just, both of you sitting on me like that?! SHIT ADDS UP!"

"How can you even talk that clearly when your face is pushed into the ground like that?" Jade attempted to joke.

"Just... gerroff... please?"



Terezi turned towards Jade and made the impossible "" face. Jade smiled, adjusted her seating until she heard a faint squirm and nodded at Terezi.

"No."