The Ultimate of the Ultimate Weapons (Better than Zillyhoo)

[CranialHeartache]

HEY GUYS. Let's talk about ultimate weapons (more ultimate than the ultimate weapons.)

So far I've come up with these ideas (with the help of others)...

John - Leafblower + Fear no Anvil ++ Razor Blade Umbrella + Caledfwlch, and possibly add in Roses Thorns of Ogoloth or some such with the leaf blower. Combine this with a bag of tricks and the bunny and you have! CON HARE. Thanks to that person on page 2 for the title.


Dave - Scarlet Ribbitar with the same powers as the swords before it. Maybe combine something from Fear no Anvil or perhaps something that speeds up time for the cells of what it hits so that the cells die faster maybe? I don't know. Maybe have a sword beam too, or combine with shotgun shells? I don't know, this one is pretty tough. && bro's sword for extra brotherly strength and love. Combine with Li'l Cal for Li'l (sword name?)

Ultimate item coupled which can go with anyone else = Mirror eight times combined with (fake arm combined with dream bot parts combined with Dave's brain).


Rose - A wand that fires holographic magical thorns which can use magic themselves, sort of like Link's sword. Maplehoof + stitching would mean more knitting and some sewing - with magic she would be like a blood mage, just with thread and can use said thread to tear things apart.


Jade - GreenSun Streetsweeper && Pumpkin (code gained from intellibeam laserstation) = Schrodingers rifle (What enemy? In fact, you don't think you see an enemy. You are quite sure there are no enemies lying around, and probably never will be). Courtesy of Wraith8.


Karkles - Thresher combined with crabdad's claw, giving it spines or something that way it can shave also. Combine with a lunar model that way it uses gravity and draws enemies to it, as well as water, then you can throw balls of condensed water at things. Combined with Rose's powers, this would be epic?


Terezi - broken dragon cane/staff/rod && Vriska's brain (would have to be alchemized seperately) || Demonblade Ragripper = In-cane in the Membrane (name courtesy of Fix it Jones.)
Vriska's brain is for psychic manipulation powers, Terezi's thing is mind after all, chainsaw is for physical power. Courtesy of Wraith8.


Vriska - So she knows how to throw the dice to get what she wants, once she denies predestination provided she ever does, combine her dice with one of those magic white balls. That or combine her dice with a magic 8 ball and watch shenanagins unleash. Maybe also combine with a horseshoe?


Nepeta - Claws + Flamberge.


Eridan - Combination between Ahab's Crosshairs and his recently attained wand.


Feferi - 2-sided trident combined with mind honey and brains.


Tavros - Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette Breaker. A newspaper drilling lance.


Sollux - Telescope goggles.


Equius - Ruby Frog combined with bow, arrow heads combined with nitroglycerin so they explode on contact. Combine the bow and arrows with ghost ectoplasm, and/or shoehorn&&flowerpot, and/or Ahab's Crosshairs for unlimited arrows. And for his feet combine horseshoes with Ruby Frog. Maybe also give him some knucks combined with the Ruby Frog contraband as well.


Aradia - Time scratched Cat O' Nine Tails with poisoned thorns? Not sure about her strife specibus.


Gamzee - Boomaclubs?


Kanaya - Tribladed chainsaw that can move its blades anywhere in space so long as the portals stay open? This makes it ranged.

Some of these are EXTREMELY lame, but that's why these are all subject to massive amounts of change. I just thought making the best weapons ever would be a fun thing to do, so extend your creativity and help out please?

[Varinn]

i think you aren't looking for the word omnipotent there

[CranialHeartache]

i think you aren't looking for the word omnipotent there

Why not?

[Aradiacated]

I don't think inanimate objects can be omnipotent.

[Varinn]

omnipotent literally means it has the power to do anything. a god is omnipotent, it is much harder to attribute this to a weapon

[Ianflow]

Jade's weapon needs something involving Ahab's crosshairs, and a robotic mechanism that allows her to shoot multiple guns at a time, without even touching them. (The robot harness does it).
That's how I see it.
I also see it as it involves some of the slime residue, or sheddings, of Bec, to give it a space, and omni-powerful, powers!

That way the bullet always makes a bullseye!

[CranialHeartache]

I don't think inanimate objects can be omnipotent.

Eh, I'm not certain myself. I just assumed that you could combine the proper paradox clone of a weapon and modify it slightly and then combine it with the original in order to make it omnipotent, but as I said, I'm not certain. If any of you guys think I should, I'll take it out.

omnipotent literally means it has the power to do anything. a god is omnipotent, it is much harder to attribute this to a weapon

Oh, okay. I was just thinking because of infinity + 2, you sure I should remove it?

Jade's weapon needs something involving Ahab's crosshairs, and a robotic mechanism that allows her to shoot multiple guns at a time, without even touching them. (The robot harness does it).
That's how I see it.
I also see it as it involves some of the slime residue, or sheddings, of Bec, to give it a space, and omni-powerful, powers!

That way the bullet always makes a bullseye!

Great idea. I think I understand.

Edit: Fixed it. Hope I got it right.

[Varinn]

I just assumed that you could combine the proper paradox clone of a weapon and modify it slightly and then combine it with the original in order to make it omnipotent, but as I said, I'm not certain.

what does this even mean


you cant clone inanimate objects, they dont have DNA

[CranialHeartache]

I just assumed that you could combine the proper paradox clone of a weapon and modify it slightly and then combine it with the original in order to make it omnipotent, but as I said, I'm not certain.

what does this even mean


you cant clone inanimate objects, they dont have DNA

Fine fine. XD You gave me a good laugh. Even though it was unintentional and I was genuine about what I meant. XD I'll take off most of the omnipotent stuff. If someone later on thinks I should add it back in, they should tell me, and I will.

[Radiation]

things you will never see:

pogo hammer of zillyhoo (not even any better the pogo thing is just pasted on because it doesn't feel right)
elder wand (from harry potter)
excalibreak (deringer + caledscratch)
guardian gun (ahab's crosshairs + cueball)

things that would be feasible:

terezi: stevie wonder's little secret (justice)
karkat: death's scythe (cup of tea scythe)
nepeta: adamantium claws (they come with a beard so no there is no other weapon better)
equius: godhand (has a towel dispenser)
vriska: fluorite octet (refuses to use anything else)
tavros: giga drill breaker
aradia: your best weapon is to DIE
kanaya: jack the ripper
sollux: also doesnt have any weapons
feferi: ursula (triton's trident from the movie)
eridan: moby's reprisal (the gun that moby dick used to kill ahab)
gamzee: teddy Roosevelt (speak softly and carry a big stick)

[Beelzebibble]

guardian gun (ahab's crosshairs + cueball)

I'm assuming this means a gun that fires First Guardians.

[NotASenator]

I suppose to be omnipotent, an object would by definition have to have the ability to be alive and also inanimate, conceivably at the same time.

[arachnidEnthusiast]

Rose: Quills of Echidna + Maplehoof = Cross-Stitch My Heart. I don't know how these would work. Pony power?

Karkat: Clawsickle + Tractor Combine = Crustabine. However, it would be huge and physically impractical because you'd have to drive it into battle and run over your enemies with it.

Dave: Royal Deringer + Bro's Corpse = Bro'd Sword. Aww yeah.

[CranialHeartache]

I suppose to be omnipotent, an object would by definition have to have the ability to be alive and also inanimate, conceivably at the same time.

Thanks for your input, genuinely.

Rose: Quills of Echidna + Maplehoof = Cross-Stitch My Heart. I don't know how these would work. Pony power?

Karkat: Clawsickle + Tractor Combine = Crustabine. However, it would be huge and physically impractical because you'd have to drive it into battle and run over your enemies with it.

Dave: Royal Deringer + Bro's Corpse = Bro'd Sword. Aww yeah.

I can add two of these ideas.

Edit: Rather, I made the top one and the bottom one work.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

[icu2jimy]

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

[CranialHeartache]

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette?

[jasperkf]

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette?

His lance is the newspaper that will pierce the heavens.

[CranialHeartache]

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette?

His lance is the newspaper that will pierce the heavens.

YES. FUCK YES. HELL FUCKING YES.

[icu2jimy]

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette?

His lance is the newspaper that will pierce the heavens.

YES. FUCK YES. HELL FUCKING YES.

YES!!!

[Ianflow]

guardian gun (ahab's crosshairs + cueball)

I'm assuming this means a gun that fires First Guardians.

I think that'd be the same thing, but changed to instead of a cueball, being the green sun.
Unless you were to combine the green sun and the cueball, making the green ball. Or the Cuesun
I think it'd have the same effect.

Well, the cueball would be irrational. The chance of it not being destroyed, and being transported with Jade, isn't too good.
But the only bad news, is how do you find a pure white ball, absence of portal or any color, or saturation, in a land of pure snow?
It's camoflauge, is amazing.
I mainly meant to use whatever residue Bec may make. I assume like most dogs, he sheds.
Logic as to why sheddings would be found:
John's nana, was old, and a ghost, so she hacked up blue phlem, composed also of ectoplasm, for she is also technically a ghost.
We can try to assume all sprites will make a residue.
Bec is a dog, and they will shed coats at the right time, for the change of weather, season, etc.
Bec was in a tropical climate, one where it remains the same temperature range for the entire year.
He has immediately been transported to a land devoid of high heat.
His body should sense the change, and immediately begin to attempt to adapt.
Adaptation would take the form of a more adapted coat.
Shedding.
And Sburb has given him added powers to his own, thus allowing him to control when he sheds.

Meaning, Jade likely will collect a hair sample FOR SCIENCE, and for it is a best friend, and that she likely desires to keep a memento with her as he may not travel with her.

ANYWHOM:
I devise that jade could always use her tech to make some sort of weapon that could allow her to shoot multiple firearms at once.
As people have said when I suggest this, it remind them of Doc Oc.
Imagine if he could fire ten ahab's crosshairs at once! ((I thought he had 8 tentacles, and two arms, so if he tried, he could do it. Jade could too!))

I propose the gun now be called:
Ahab's Bechairs
Jade's crosshairs
Bec's Crosshairs
Bec's Shedhairs
Ahab's Doghairs
Jade's Crossdogs

Something along these silly lines.

EDIT:

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette?

His lance is the newspaper that will pierce the heavens.

Here's the bad news:
There are some, if not many, and by many, I mean unending list of:
Farside comic strips which involve:
Death
Newspaper
A man reading a newspaper
Being shot
A man reading a newspaper being shot
Lances
A man being harpooned
A man being hit with a lance
The list goes on for categories.
I'm a big fan of the far side, and so are my parents and my mom's parents, so, this reminds me of things!
To be honest, the strips I'm thinking of are hilarious!

[PriffyViole]

Hammer + Sledgehammer + Pogo Hammer + Wrinklefucker + T. Sassacrusher + Fear no Anvil + Warhammer of Zillyhoo

[CranialHeartache]

guardian gun (ahab's crosshairs + cueball)

I'm assuming this means a gun that fires First Guardians.

I think that'd be the same thing, but changed to instead of a cueball, being the green sun.
Unless you were to combine the green sun and the cueball, making the green ball. Or the Cuesun
I think it'd have the same effect.

Well, the cueball would be irrational. The chance of it not being destroyed, and being transported with Jade, isn't too good.
But the only bad news, is how do you find a pure white ball, absence of portal or any color, or saturation, in a land of pure snow?
It's camoflauge, is amazing.
I mainly meant to use whatever residue Bec may make. I assume like most dogs, he sheds.
Logic as to why sheddings would be found:
John's nana, was old, and a ghost, so she hacked up blue phlem, composed also of ectoplasm, for she is also technically a ghost.
We can try to assume all sprites will make a residue.
Bec is a dog, and they will shed coats at the right time, for the change of weather, season, etc.
Bec was in a tropical climate, one where it remains the same temperature range for the entire year.
He has immediately been transported to a land devoid of high heat.
His body should sense the change, and immediately begin to attempt to adapt.
Adaptation would take the form of a more adapted coat.
Shedding.
And Sburb has given him added powers to his own, thus allowing him to control when he sheds.

Meaning, Jade likely will collect a hair sample FOR SCIENCE, and for it is a best friend, and that she likely desires to keep a memento with her as he may not travel with her.

ANYWHOM:
I devise that jade could always use her tech to make some sort of weapon that could allow her to shoot multiple firearms at once.
As people have said when I suggest this, it remind them of Doc Oc.
Imagine if he could fire ten ahab's crosshairs at once! ((I thought he had 8 tentacles, and two arms, so if he tried, he could do it. Jade could too!))

I propose the gun now be called:
Ahab's Bechairs
Jade's crosshairs
Bec's Crosshairs
Bec's Shedhairs
Ahab's Doghairs
Jade's Crossdogs

Something along these silly lines.

EDIT:

I stand by my idea that Tavros' ultimate weapon would be the lance of Longinus.

Tavros's ULTIMATE LANCE + Newspaper = Daily Gorezette

This is how he properly fills his role as Vriska's kismesis: you don't have to be too terribly unlucky to get speared through the chest with a newspaper, after all. It's kind of a gray area.

I don't support permadeath for Vriska, by the way. But Tav having the capability to cause it would certainly spice things up a bit.

Daily Drilling Lance of Longinus, the Giga Gorezette?

His lance is the newspaper that will pierce the heavens.

Here's the bad news:
There are some, if not many, and by many, I mean unending list of:
Farside comic strips which involve:
Death
Newspaper
A man reading a newspaper
Being shot
A man reading a newspaper being shot
Lances
A man being harpooned
A man being hit with a lance
The list goes on for categories.
I'm a big fan of the far side, and so are my parents and my mom's parents, so, this reminds me of things!
To be honest, the strips I'm thinking of are hilarious!

Wow, this is pretty epic.

How about mirror combined with fake arm combined with dream bot parts combined with Dave's brain?

[ArmsAreLoud]

Apparently that alchemizes into the "Man on the Mirror".

You aren't entirely sure what it is, but whatever it is it is dangerously close to the Uncanny Valley.

[Bellstrom]

I suppose to be omnipotent, an object would by definition have to have the ability to be alive and also inanimate, conceivably at the same time.

And therefore, Lil Cal is omnipotent.