Homestuck SCPs

[raequiem]

They've been spreading through the fic thread like herpes. It's kind of gross.

SCPs. Of our dear trolls, kids, Felt, and carapaces. In order to keep the fic thread from drowning in this stuff, we're making a new place for it.

For those of you not in-the-know, well, you could go to the link above, or you could read my walltext here.

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SCP stands for "Secure, Contain, Protect". The story is that it's some enormous secret agency devoted to controlling and cataloguing all sorts of weird-ass shit, from giant nigh-invincible omnicidal lizards to magic vending machines.

Basically it's a big creepy wiki for creepy people to write creepy things and creep each other out. The writing style is distinctive - very technical, almost cold, with a subtle edge of humor and enough nightmares to last you for the rest of your life.

SCPs are classified according to their danger level. "Safe" means "this probably won't kill you unless you're being very creatively stupid". "Euclid" means "this can kill you, but follow the rules and you should be okay". "Keter" means "this will kill you, your family, your pet goldfish and your fourth-grade teacher. It is locked in a vault / at the bottom of the ocean / guarded 24/7 for a REASON. Please, for the love of god, don't be an idiot with this thing".

Some tools you might find useful in your SCP-writing are [REDACTED], [DATA EXPUNGED], and ████ (copy/paste is the easiest way to make this one). All of these can be used to censor random factoids for effect, or just because you don't feel like making up a name for Agent Dumbasbricks who let Vriska have her dice. Generally, [REDACTED] is names, ██████ is numbers or objects (SCPs are treated as objects even if they're actually people) and [DATA EXPUNGED] is events. For example:

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Dr. [REDACTED] attempted to use SCP-███ to [DATA EXPUNGED], resulting in ██ casualties and minor damage to Lab █, where [DATA EXPUNGED] left no survivors.

See how easy this is?

One more thing SCPs are fond of are class-D personnel. They're recruited from convicted felons on death row, and are essentially cannon fodder for any SCP that seems both dangerous and interesting. If they want to experiment with something lethal, they throw some class-Ds at it to see what happens. Casualties among class-Ds can reach absurd levels, so feel free to add a few extra digits to your body counts.

Rules:
-Make sure your SCP sounds authentic - study the original site! This page will help you SOMUCH.
-Respect others' right to dibs. Don't dibs all the good stuff before others get a chance. (Graven, I'm looking at you here.) Once something has been dibbed, it's off the board for everyone but the dibber until they un-dib it. Dibs is a funny word.
-That's about it! Get to writin', and have fun!

OFFICIAL INDEX (PM me if I forget to update it, I'm kinda dumb about that sometimes.)
PROSPITANS - 612 - By One

SBURB/SGRUB - 1023 - By lucidSeraph
Cruxtruder - 1023-1 - By elitehakor
Totem Lathe - 1023-2 - By elitehakor
Alchemiter - 1023-3 - By ZombiiTwo
Quest Bed - 1023-█ - By Graven_Image

Incident 1023-1a (Agent Timefucked and Friends Install Sburb!) - By lucidSeraph

HUMANS - 1024 - By Douhneill.
John - 1024-1a - By Douhneill
Rose - 1024-1b - By Douhneill
Dave - 1024-1c - By SpyPoet
Jade - 1024-1d - By SpyPoet

Dad - 1024-1e - Dibbed by SpyPoet
Mom - 1024-1f - Dibbed by SpyPoet
Bro - 1024-1g - By Douhneill
- Incident 1024-1g (Bro vs. SCP-076/Able)
Grandpa - 1024-1h - Dibbed by Douhneill

Casey - 1024-2b-δ - By mutecebu
SBAHJ-ifier - 1024-42 - By Varkarrus
Fake Arms Series (Arms, Cake with Arms, Harlequin Doll with Arms) - 1024-2a-01 - By llamamiah
Pogo Hammer - 1024-2a-19 - Dibbed by llamamiah
Bunnies - 1024-2c-1 - by ClosetExtrovert
Dave's Swords - 1024-2c-4 - By Graven_Image
Lil Cal - 1024-2g-δ - By Bellstrom
Unreal Air - Dibbed by Thatoneguy

TROLLS - 1025 - By Graven_Image
Aradia - 1025_1 - By Graven_Image
Tavros - 1025_2 - By Graven_Image
Sollux - 1025_3 - By Graven_Image
Karkat - 1025_4 - By Graven_Image
Nepeta - 1025_5 - By Graven_Image
Kanaya - 1025_6 - By Graven_Image
Terezi - 1025_7 - By Graven_Image
Vriska - 1025_8 - By Graven_Image
Equius - 1025_9 - By Graven_Image
Gamzee - 1025_10 - By Graven_Image
Eridan - 1025_11 - By Graven_Image
Feferi - 1025_12 - By Graven_Image
*Weapons are 1025_13-24*
Fluorite Octet - 1025-20 - By Graven_Image
Musclebeast Posters - 1025-21 - By Graven_Image
Ahab's Crosshairs - 1025-23 - By Unlicensed Busdriver

Incident Report 1025-3 (The Great Troll Escape) - By Graven_Image
Continued by Bratmon

THE FELT - 1026
Itchy - 1026-1 - By Rukafais
Doze - 1026-2 - By Rukafais
Trace - 1026-3 - By Rukafais
Clover - 1026-4 - By FieryBlacksmith
Fin - 1026-5
Die - 1026-6 - By Rukafais
Crowbar and his crowbar - 1026-7 and 1026-7a - By FireyBlacksmith
Snowman - 1026-8 - By Graven_Image
Stich - 1026-9
Sawbuck - 1026-10
Matchsticks - 1026-11 - By FieryBlacksmith
Eggs - 1026-12 - Dibbed bt JudgeDeadd
Biscuits - 1026-13 - By Lucinice
Quarters - 1026-14
Cans - 1026-15 - By mythmonster2

THE MIDNIGHT CREW - 1027
Spades Slick - 1027-1 - By Antonym
Diamonds Droog - 1027-2
Clubs Deuce - 1027-3
Hearts Boxcars - 1027-4

THE SPRITES - 1028 - By Raequiem
Nannasprite - 1028-1
Jaspersprite - 1028-2
Becsprite - 1028-3 - By Raequiem

SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF
SCP-1029 - By JudgeDeadd
Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff - 1029-1 and 1029-2 - By JudgeDeadd
SCP-4HJ - By Mutecebu
SORD - Dibbed by Bortabanes Fahouloir

Bec Noir - 1031 - By QuetzaDrake

EXILES - 1032
WV - 1032-1 - Dibbed by Closet Extrovert
PM - 1032-2
AR - 1032-3
WQ - 1032-4

OTHER JUNK THAT MAY NOT FIT ANYWHERE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE
Scepters - 1030 - By HelloMoto
Pumpkin - 4201 - by JudgeDeadd

[Unlicensed Busdriver]

dibsing 1025-23 (Ahab's Crosshairs)

le hurr:
Item #: SCP-1025-23

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Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1025-23 is to be contained in a standard armory for weapons displaying SCP characteristics.

SCP-1025-23 is not to be transported or interred near SCP-1025-11. As of this time, should SCP 1025-11 come into possession of SCP-1025-23, SCP-1025-11 is to be considered Keter class with immediate lethal force authorized. SCP-1025-23 is currently in the possession of SCP-1025-11. See documentation on SCP-1025-11 for more information regarding posed threat. In the event of encountering SCP-1025-11, all possible care should be taken to recover SCP-1025-23 intact as many aspects of its design are not understood and further research could lead to developments very beneficial to the Foundation.

Description: SCP-1025-23 is a large rifle-like weapon with a receiver composed of several pieces of unidentified blue and purple metallic substances. It has a relatively standard trigger and pistol grip and a solid shoulder stock. In the place of a barrel, SCP-1025-23 has a 24" solid rod of a purple crystalline material terminating in a spear-point which gives off a constant white glow. SCP-1025-23 has a rifle scope of variable magnification fixed on the top of the receiver. Due to the nature of the weapon, it is apparently unnecessary for this scope to be adjustable for ranging or windage, but it appears to be electronic in some fashion.

SCP-1025-23 is an incredibly powerful weapon. It fires a wide diameter beam of unknown energy accompanied by a muzzle-flash nearly 4 meters in diameter. The beam does not appear to travel in a straight line, rather following a path similar to that of a bolt of lightning. Despite this, SCP-1025-11 was not witnessed to unintentionally miss a target while using the weapon against [DATA EXPUNGED] during Incident 1025-█ at ranges from point-blank to over 200 meters, resulting in ██ casualties. Whether this is because of some feature of SCP-1025-23's sighting system or a result of other factors, potentially including probability manipulation on the part of SCP-1025-█ during Incident 1025-█, is yet unknown. The energy beam fired by SCP-1025-23 has been witnessed to penetrate even the thickest of barriers and armor with ease.

It is unclear how SCP-1025-23 is powered. There is no immediately apparent way to disassemble any part of the weapon, or any controls beyond the trigger and the dials on the scope. The mechanism it uses for energy generation and/or storage is capable of powering it for at least ██ consecutive shots. Because of the apparently massive amounts of energy stored within SCP-1025-23, no attempts have been made to forcibly disassemble it and its inner mechanisms remain a mystery.

At this time SCP-1025-23 is considered the most dangerous item in the SCP-1025-13+ series with the exception of SCP 1025-██ and is classified Euclid due to the unknown nature of its operation.

[flutterShy]

dibsing 1024-1d (Jade)

Item #: SCP-1024-1d

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Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1024-1d is to be held in a standard cell for all SCP-1024 series. 1028-1d, while unable to speak, has made it clear that SCP-1024-1d is to maintain her own room, however, the room should be tested against compromise at least once per week.

Description: SCP-1024-1d is a young, Caucasian female with long, black, messy hair, green eyes, and large round glasses. Like the other members of SCP-1024, she refuses to acknowledge her identification number and insists to go by her given name of Jade ████████. Alternatively, she is fine with titles familiar to her and the other SCP-1024s, such as Witch of Space, Witch, or, by SCP-1024-1h, Granddaughter.

In terms of genetics, 1024-1d is sister to 1024-1a, and is the child of 1024-1h and SCP-1028-1. 1024-1d's explanation of this agrees with 1024-1as explanation of a session of [DATA EXPUNGED]. How this is possible is still under examination.

1024-1d has not shown any powers like 1024-1a has in terms of any association with his title.

1024-1d has extreme narcolepsy, constantly falling asleep during many things, including conversing with others and other activities, such as general studies and experiments with the Foundation. She claims that during these sleep periods, she [DATA EXPUNGED]. While studies have been inconclusive of proving this or not, all sleep periods are to be recorded and examined, in case of [DATA EXPUNGED].

1024-1d is also extremely forgetful, although she remembers most of the important details pertaining to her friends, classified as SCP-1024a-c, SCP-1024-1h, SCP-1028-1, and the SCP-1025 series, although when conversing about them in specific, SCP-1025-4 seems to invoke irritation in her. After letting them [DATA EXPUNGED], it has been agreed that they shall not be allowed to converse again. She has similiar feelings towards SCP-1025-12, although it is more fearful than irritation, as well as massive confusion. As far as the other SCP 1025 series goes, she is on comfortable terms with them.

1024-1d has other things that make her unique. In addition to all the things that made the SCP-1024 series unique, she is also something which Dr. ████████ calls a 'crack shot'. Armed with a Hunting Rifle, during [DATA EXPUNGED] which can be read in report #1024-1D, she is capable of [DATA EXPUNGED] although she claims that she is a pacifist.

1024-1d also has a vested interest in things such as high-tech gagedtry, nuclear physics, and things such as furry fandom, as researchers have advised Dr. ████████. She is also rather skilled on the eclectic bass, whic is not entirely a bad skill. However, she is to be watched at all times.

[FieryBlacksmith]

Quick note: why do Aradia, Sollux and Equius have their weapons consfiscated? The first two don't really use weapons, and Equius uses rather mundane broken bows. Or maybe SCP-1025-13, 15 and 21 the Crosbytop, Mind Honey and Lusus Milk, in that order?

[Graven_Image]

I think SCP-1025-13 would be the timeboxes, SCP-1025-15 are the psychic-thrown shuriken, and...

Well, I don't know what Equius's is.

[mediokreKarapase]

I agree with the timeboxes, but I think the other two should be the mind honey and the lusus milk respectivley.

[QuetzaDrake]

I think SCP-1025-13 would be the timeboxes, SCP-1025-15 are the psychic-thrown shuriken, and...

Well, I don't know what Equius's is.

Broken bow and arrow? Maybe the parts to one of his broken robots? That glass of lusus milk?

[sebastian]

I think SCP-1025-13 would be the timeboxes, SCP-1025-15 are the psychic-thrown shuriken, and...

Well, I don't know what Equius's is.

The musclebeasts posters.

Keter class material.

[Graven_Image]

I think SCP-1025-13 would be the timeboxes, SCP-1025-15 are the psychic-thrown shuriken, and...

Well, I don't know what Equius's is.

The musclebeasts posters.

Keter class material.

SCP-1025-21

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[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Good God.

O5-X

[QuetzaDrake]

I think SCP-1025-13 would be the timeboxes, SCP-1025-15 are the psychic-thrown shuriken, and...

Well, I don't know what Equius's is.

The musclebeasts posters.

Keter class material.

You mean the beautiful works of high-class art? I suppose they're Keter if you consider Keter to be a level where they're so culturally-rich and masterfully-created that they kill those who dare look upon their majesty, then yes, we could go with that.

EDIT: Oh I was ninja'd. Well! Now I wonder if they'd go and round up the artists, since all that art originates from actual human artists. That'd be interesting to hear about, if the Foundation didn't just want to never speak of it again.

[Graven_Image]

There is a certain joke SCP, called "The Image". I'm pretty sure it details the Foundation's response to mind-searingly horribad pictures.

[lucidSeraph]

Dibsing SCP 1023. It's going to take me a while to get it done, though, and I may need some help - namely, what are some good examples of extant SCPs that involve stable or unstable time loops and pocket universes? SCP 093 struck me as a good example of weird time travel; and SCP 354 has a good way to work around the whole "playing this ends the world" thing (ie, "how did this data get here???)

I have some ideas, but I don't have time to archivebinge the whole site in search of more (much as I'd like to.)

[Douhneill]

Whoa, just read the extra deets about this forum. I'm like some source of unnecessary computer knowledge here.
█ is ASCII symbol #219 (Unicode 2588) (hold alt, then type 219, then release alt), for all those who are interested. I usually can't actually remember it's coding (unlike symbols such as é and ñ, which I use fairly regularly), so most of the time I just copy/paste.

In OTHER news, I think I'm gonna call dibs on bro for now. Kinda busy though, so be expecting it tomorrow or something.

[FieryBlacksmith]

Hereby calling dibs on 1026-7 and 1026-7-A, Crowbar and his Crowbar.


Addentum: How about the Agents, and especially Jack Noir? He's about as Keter as you can get.

[Isoraqathedh]

The character is, by the way, called FULL BLOCK (in that capitalization) so that's how you search it in Character Map.

Or you could just slap it on your keyboard. That's what I would do if I were an avid writer of SCP articles, and I am not.

(To do so you need something like SharpKeys or Windows Keyboard Layout Creator)

[raequiem]

Sprites!

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Item #: SCP-1028

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Subjects are to be contained in standard 10mx10mx2.5m cells, each lined with at least ten centimeters of SCP-148. They are not under any circumstances permitted to interact with SCP-1023, SCP-1025, or any of the other SCPs associated with SCP-1023s. Requests from SCP-1024 for visits are pending approval. Any requests made by SCP-1028 must be approved by an O5.

Description: SCP-1028 are three ghostly, vaguely humanoid figures. Each glows a different color, which appear to be related to SCP-1024-1a, b and d. (Dr. [REDACTED]'s theory that there may have been a fourth, related to SCP-1024-1c, has been confirmed in interviews with SCP-1024.) There are other cosmetic variations besides color, which will be expanded upon in the individual documents. Testing has shown that 1028-1 and 1028-2 have slightly modified human and domestic cat DNA, respectively. 1028-3 was also tested, [DATA EXPUNGED]. Further testing halted at this time.

They have exhibited some supernatural abilities, including flight, telekinesis, and [REDACTED]. Claims that these powers result from exposure to SCP-1023 are unconfirmed. They may eat food normal for their species, but do not appear to need it.

SCP-1028 as a group are friendly and willing to answer questions, albeit somewhat cryptic. This appears to be out of their control, as they often apoligize for not being able to "answer questions better". They are very concerned about the well-being of SCP-1024-1a, b and d, respectively, and will immediately attempt to escape if they sense any real or perceived threat. Like SCP-1024, they are willing to be held at the facility in order to ensure the safety of their charges.

Addendum 1028: Request for visits from SCP-1024 approved. Visits must be supervised and must not exceed two hours per day.

Dibs on Becsprite, but other people can do Nannasprite and Jaspersprite.

[QuetzaDrake]

Ooh, I can't wait for the Becsprite entry.

I kinda wanna call dibs on Bec Noir, but I don't think I have the time so I'll keep from doing that for the moment so that someone else can do him justice if they want.

[Douhneill]

Ooh, I can't wait for the Becsprite entry.

I kinda wanna call dibs on Bec Noir, but I don't think I have the time so I'll keep from doing that for the moment so that someone else can do him justice if they want.

SCP-1027-0? Maybe.

*edit* actually, nevermind. I'm sticking with working on the 1024 series until it's finished.

[mutecebu]

Lets drive this bandwagon into the ground!
SCP-4HJ

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Reference - SCP-173

[QuetzaDrake]

Oh my god that thing.

That fucking thing.

Jeff you fool.

[raequiem]

Added to the index. RIP, Jeff.

[NateDude]

Template:

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Item #:

Object Class:

Special Containment Procedures:

Description:

Addendum ----:

I'll make one later.

[raequiem]

Becsprite. Kinda rough, but I'm tired of staring at it. If anything looks off just let me know.

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Item #: SCP-1028-3

Classification: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1028-3 is to be kept in a standard cell similar to the others in the 1028 series. The only difference is that 1028-3's cell must be lined with at least fifty (50) centimeters of SCP-148. Additionally, it is to be constantly guarded by at least two guards armed with AK-47s.

Description: SCP-1028-3 is less humanoid in appearance than the other members of the 1028 series. It has the head and upper body of a large white dog, with no discernible eyes or other facial features. It glows bright green and generates sparks of green and yellow electricity when agitated.

In addition to the abilities exhibited by the other 1028s, 1028-3 has the ability to teleport itself or other objects any distance. No limit has been found to this ability yet. It also appears to be able to [DATA EXPUNGED], thus its Keter classification.

1028-3 is especially attuned to its charge, 1024-1d, and will teleport out of its cell to her exact location the moment she is endangered in any way (see Incident 1028-3 below).

While the other 1028s are able to speak, all attempts at communication with 1028-3 have had inconclusive results. Its "speech" has been described as audio static or "white noise". However, it appears to understand speech addressed to it, suggesting that it is at least as intelligent as the other 1028s.

Excerpt from an interview with SCP-1024-1d regarding this SCP:

SCP-1024-1d: Why are there men with guns outside Bec's door?
Dr. █████: SCP-1028-3 is very dangerous. The guards are there for our protection.
[At this, 1024-1d becomes agitated.]
SCP-1024-1d: He's not dangerous. He's my best friend. And besides, those guns won't stop him if he wants to get out.
Dr. █████: Really?
SCP-1024-1d: Of course not. We played fetch with bullets like that back home.
Dr. █████: Where is "home", exactly?
SCP-1024-1d: ... I want to go back to my room now.
[1024-1d refused to answer any more questions, and was escorted back to her cell.]

(Note: Investigate these claims that bullets don't affect 1028-3. And find something that does. I don't like being made fun of by little girls. -Dr. █████)

Addendum 1028-3a: Incident 1028-3 (see report below) shows that SCP-148 has no effect negating this SCP's teleportation abilities, suggesting these powers are not psychic in nature. Note: So how the hell does it do it, anyway? Look into this - Dr. ███████

Addendum 1028-3b: Testing confirmed that conventional bullets indeed have no effect on 1028-3. SCP-1025-23 is being considered as an alternative to conventional weapons for the purpose of guarding this SCP. Pending approval by O5.

Addendum 1028-3c: Regular visits from SCP-1024-1d appear to keep 1028-3 calm. Request to extend visits beyond the normal 2 hours approved, and 1028-3 reclassified as Euclid when 1024-1d is present.

Incident 1028-3: SCP-1024-1d was undergoing a routine physical test, climbing a rock wall. When she was approximately 10m up, she suffered a sudden narcoleptic attack and lost her grip. Her safety harness was not properly secured, and she slipped out.

At the exact same time SCP-1028-3, which appeared to be asleep, suddenly woke up and teleported out of its cell. It appeared at the bottom of the rock wall, breaking 1024-1d's fall. It curled around her and refused to be moved until she woke up. Upon waking, 1024-1d patted it on the head and adressed it as "good dog, best friend" before ordering it back to its cell. It complied and remained there without any further difficulty for the rest of the day.

[QuetzaDrake]

Yaaaay, Becsprite! I figured SCP-148 would have no effect on the teleporting, and I was pondering what could possibly contain Bec and Noir, actually.

And I always like when the doctors add their little personal notes, they're so informal and haughty.

[lucidSeraph]

Yaaaay, Becsprite! I figured SCP-148 would have no effect on the teleporting, and I was pondering what could possibly contain Bec and Noir, actually.

And I always like when the doctors add their little personal notes, they're so informal and haughty.

Maybe with one of the pocket universe SCPs? Or other non-dimensional spaces?